Guitar Hero: Van Halen

I know I "reviewed" the soundtrack to Guitar Hero Live recently but this technically isn't a review. This is one of those posts where I go through the entire setlist to a Guitar Hero/Rock Band game and decide whether the tracks deserve a Thumbs Up or Thumbs Down based on a mix of personal taste, appropriate use in the game and how fun the songs are to play on expert guitar. This time, it's the turn of the franchise's bucktoothed nephew, Guitar Hero: Van Halen, even though I've arguably dedicated enough time to the band when I wrote about their 70s-80s David Lee Roth era studio albums.
I've previously done this with the games Guitar Hero: Warriors Of Rock, Guitar Hero 3: Legends Of Rock, Guitar Hero: World Tour, The Beatles Rock Band, Rock Band 2 and Rock Band 4. Plus, I've briefly written about Guitar Hero: Van Halen in a blog post detailing the history of GH/RB games where I had mixed thoughts on aspects of the soundtrack but overall, thought it was alright. Time to see whether I still hold that opinion or whether I should've been more critical.
NOTE: Some of these songs have been discussed in other games (namely Rock Band 2) but in those cases, I'll be focusing more on the quality of the guitar chart and whether it belonged in Guitar Hero: Van Halen.

"Ain't Talkin' 'Bout Love" - Van Halen
I'll admit that whilst I knew several Van Halen songs before playing this game, I discovered most of them here. This was one of the songs I discovered and I fucking love it. Epic riff, decent mini solos, catchy chorus and even though it's just a little bit too long, it's pretty fun to play in GH:VH. Definitely a sensible pick. THUMBS UP.

"And The Cradle Will Rock..." - Van Halen
Ah shit, we were off to such a strong start as well. Yeah, horrible chart with awkward rapid strumming and a pretty fine example of mediocre Hard Rock. Tacky vocals, uninspired guitar work that resembles the sort of wank Randy Rhoads would shit out instead of Eddie Van Halen and even though it's a fairly popular Van Halen track, I would've replaced it with one of the band's better filler tracks. THUMBS DOWN.

"Atomic Punk" - Van Halen
The first filler track by the band but also one of the best. Great driving riffs, some fun HOPO sections that make you forget about the awkward strumming rhythms and a pretty simple chart to introduce you to the greatness of the band. I'm not entirely sure why Activision only picked songs from the David Lee Roth era but if tracks like this helped prevent tracks like "Why Can't This Be Love?" make it into the series, it's getting a great big THUMBS UP. Well, it was going to get one anyway but you know what I mean.

"Beautiful Girls" - Van Halen
I suppose it makes sense to include this song, even if it's not really that fun on guitar. It's decent and one of the band's popular tracks but also very forgettable. On the plus side, I quite like the song and I didn't hate playing it, I just didn't really like it either. Fuck it, THUMBS UP for not sucking and not being out of place in the game. Believe me, there'll be PLENTY of those coming up.

"Best Of You" - Foo Fighters
Foo Fighters in GH/RB games was pretty much obligatory at that point so even though the band have next to no relevance to Van Halen, I can understand their inclusion. Plus, apparently it was down to Wolfgang Van Halen (Eddie's son) to pick most of the guest acts so naturally the setlist was doomed from the start. It sucks on guitar, right up to the rapid strumming section, and it's one of the band's better known tracks due to it basically becoming a meme online. Listening to Dave shouting "THE BEST! THE BEST! THE BEST!" over and over doesn't stop this song from getting a THUMBS DOWN, especially when there are way better Foo Fighters songs that GH never got.

"Cathedral" - Van Halen
The first of three guitar solos that were included on-disc. It's pretty fun to play, considering it's basically just a lengthy HOPO section. Short and sweet, THUMBS UP.

"Come To Life" - Alter Bridge
I bet this song was shoved onto this game's soundtrack because ATVI licensed it but didn't know what to do with it. It has no place in GH:VH and even though Alter Bridge songs have pretty fun charts, I can honestly say that I remember absolutely fuck all about playing this track. It sounds good but it should've been DLC or an on-disc song for Guitar Hero 5 instead of one of the many, many shitty Indie tracks. THUMBS DOWN.

"Dance The Night Away" - Van Halen
Really? This got picked? I guess it works as an easier song in order to give the game a difficulty curve but goddamn, it's dull. It's decent background music but not something I'd like to focus on playing in GH. THUMBS DOWN.

"Dope Nose" - Weezer
A catchy tune but again, really not a great pick for Guitar Hero: Van Halen. THIS should've been on GH5 instead of the Weezer song they chose. At least it has a fun riff and a great solo. I'm tempted to give it a Thumbs Up just for getting at least 2 out of 3 on my marking scale, although it shouldn't have been on this game. Tough call but it's getting a THUMBS UP.

"Double Vision" - Foreigner
Whilst I'm always down for some Classic Rock in these games, this song's a bit of a weird choice. I strongly doubt Wolfgang picked this one so I have no idea who championed this average song's inclusion in the game, unless Eddie or one of the band members expressed an interest in it (even though I doubt they expressed an interest in any part of the game's development). Not a very impressive guitar chart and not a huge hit for the band. There are better Foreigner songs that could've been chosen, let alone better Classic Rock songs. THUMBS DOWN.

"The End Of Heartache" - Killswitch Engage
This one probably was a Wolfgang pick. I mean, it's Killswitch Engage and he was a teenage boy so obviously he likes this band. I can't remember much about the guitar chart other than it being pretty easy for one of the final tier songs but if I had to judge this inclusion based on the quality of this screamy, shite awful song itself, it's a hard THUMBS DOWN.

"Eruption" - Van Halen
There is no debate here. If you're making a Van Halen game, "Eruption" has to be on it. It's just as furious as you can imagine and even though tap notes have made it slightly easier to play than if it was included on a pre-GH:WT title, it's still a tough tune for expert players to master. THUMBS UP.

"Everybody Wants Some!!" - Van Halen
If you were tasked with creating a Van Halen song from scratch, it'd probably end up sounding something like this. Tribal drums, anthematic vocals in the chorus, heavy riffs and a passable EVH solo. Fun fact: you can hear the band fuck up at one point when David Lee Roth starts to speak one of the lyrics just as Eddie plays some chords. Blunder aside, it's a THUMBS UP.

"Feel Your Love Tonight" - Van Halen
One of the filler tracks off the debut album that shouldn't have been picked. It sounds too similar to the generic material and even though "On Fire" off the debut is also a little close to some of the tunes on this game, at least it has a fun chart. I can't remember anything about this song, although I have a feeling that I sightread FC'd it. THUMBS DOWN.

"First Date" - Blink-182
Hahaha, nope! I want to say this was a Wolfgang pick but it was around that time that Activision got a massive hardon for Blink-182 and their songs started appearing all over the GH franchise, even though they all sound the fucking same. THUMBS DOWN.

"Hang 'Em High" - Van Halen
What can I say about this song? Well, it's off Diver Down so that's already a bad start. It's also quite challenging on guitar so it isn't the worst choice they could've gone for. However, there are filler tracks on 1984 that would've tested expert guitar players that deserved to receive more love than this song ("Top Jimmy", anyone? How fucking great would it have been to play that verse riff?). THUMBS DOWN.

"Hear About It Later" - Van Halen
This song's grown on me since I first played it in GH:VH, although I definitely maintain that it's a dull song to play up until the solo when it just becomes a ballache. Not one of my favourites off Fair Warning and certainly not a highlight for the setlist. THUMBS DOWN, I'm afraid.

"Hot For Teacher" - Van Halen
This song was awesome in Guitar Hero: World Tour and I swear they made the guitar chart easier in GH:VH, which seemed like an odd move. Either way, it's still fun to play and it still makes sense to include it in the game, even if the original master was used in GH:WT. THUMBS UP.

"Ice Cream Man" - Van Halen
When Van Halen got all Bluesy, they fucked sucked. They were as lame as your dad dancing at your birthday party and this song's a great example of David Lee Roth's love of the genre ruining a solid track. I mean, just take a moment to stop and think about what the fucking song's actually about. Luckily, the guitar chart doesn't suck and since it sounds different to your average Van Halen song, I can appreciate its inclusion in the game. It's a reluctant THUMBS UP although I don't think I'd lose sleep if I could never play/hear this song again.

"I'm The One" - Van Halen
Here's how to do Blues Rock right, although the "shoobi-doo-wah" bit in the middle is a great example of an Absolute Axl (another of these blog posts is currently in the works). Not only is it an awesome song but the guitar chart's fucking amazing if you can keep up with it. Definitely one of my favourite Van Halen songs to play in the entire game so there's no doubt about it: THUMBS UP.

"I Want It All" - Queen
From my favourite Van Halen song to my favourite guest artist song. Similar to the Blink-182 situation, Activision had recently managed to get access to a bunch of Queen songs so they were going trigger happy with using the band in GH games. However, unlike the Blink-182 situation, this was a good thing. This song showcases Brian May at his best with not one, not two but THREE excellent solos and solid fretwork throughout the rest of the song too. It's a shame it had to be locked away on this game with a setlist featuring many more misfires to come. THUMBS UP.

"Intruder/(Oh) Pretty Woman" - Van Halen
O...K, I guess Van Halen didn't have any more master recordings available so they had to resort to picking a cruddy cover off their worst Lee Roth era album? It's not even a case of Activision's desire to include "(Oh) Pretty Woman" in the series, as the Roy Orbison original was used in Band Hero. Not only that but the original didn't contain 1:40 of shite beforehand. I can understand why "Intruder" had to be glued onto the start of "(Oh) Pretty Woman" but I can't understand why both songs were picked for this game. THUMBS DOWN.

"Jamie's Cryin'" - Van Halen
Another poor choice off the debut and I once again refer you to my "On Fire" comment earlier. Presumably picked to be an easier song on the difficulty curve but it's still a boring song to play and listen to. THUMBS DOWN without hesitation.

"Jump" - Van Halen
Whilst I may not particularly like this song, it's pretty fucking fun to play on GH:VH and obviously, it had to be included in the setlist. GH purists may not be happy about the synth sections being charted but for everyone else, they make up the most fun sections of the song with plenty of manageable but challenging tap note sections to practise. THUMBS UP.

"Little Guitars" - Van Halen
More shite off Diver Down, although the acoustic intro's quite fun to play for those wanting a strum-based challenge. Sadly, the rest of the track sucks and deserves to be cast into the bowels of Hell for committing one of the greatest sins a Hard Rock song can perform; including the word "senorita" in the lyrics. It sounds desperate and makes me want to physically harm myself. THUMBS DOWN.

"Loss Of Control" - Van Halen
Now here's a frenzied little number. A good song to practise if you want to master strumming rhythms and anchoring notes. Even if the song suffers from dire vocals and what sounds like a rushed songwriting process, it's great on guitar. THUMBS UP for showing a little diversity in the band's material.

"Master Exploder" - Tenacious D
Whilst I bloody love this song and enjoyed playing it on GH:VH, it's sadly another example of a song that should've been DLC or an on-disc track for a different GH game. At least the chart's noticeably different to the RB2 one with easier solos and a much harder chord progression in the main riff. I want to give this song a Thumbs Up, I really do. However, I have to judge it as a song on this game's setlist and so, with regret, it's a THUMBS DOWN. Plus, I let "Dope Nose" get a Thumbs Up for personal reasons so this should balance things out.

"Mean Street" - Van Halen
Also one of my favourite songs to play with a fucking ace guitar chart. If you can nail that intro, you feel like a fucking God. Plus, it's got a solid chart all the way through and proves that slower songs can still be awesome. I'm glad this game exists if only because it introduced me to this song. THUMBS UP.

"Pain" - Jimmy Eat World
Oh hey, welcome back Wolfgang! I'm sure he picked some of the songs I've discussed since "First Date" but his presence feels particularly opaque here. It's not a bad song for modern Pop Rock but you know the line; it doesn't belong in this game. Jimmy Eat World could've had a track pack on Guitar Hero with this song, the one on GH5 and some other tune of theirs that isn't "The Middle" and it would've freed up room for two better songs. THUMBS DOWN.

"Painkiller" - Judas Priest
Oh dear God, what did they do to you? They fucking raped you, didn't they? Those bastards!!!
Seriously though, what were Activision playing at? Butchered drum intro, undercharted solo, too much strumming in the main riff and then there's that section between solos where they just charted fuck all, even though you can hear the guitar playing. It's a shame too as "Painkiller" is a fucking badass song that's perfect for GH/RB (although arguably not GH:VH) and they ruined it. THUMBS DOWN and Activision should hang their head in shame...ah who am I kidding, ATVI have no shame.

"Panama" - Van Halen
The first song in the game's career mode and a pretty fun chart too. Whilst it's not the easiest song in the game, it's a great introduction to the band's material and tapping solo aside, it's great to play. A solid choice for a solid song. THUMBS UP.

"Pretty Fly (For A White Guy)" - The Offspring
Of all the Offspring songs to choose, of all the ones to include on GH:VH, they picked the "give it to me baby" one. Not "The Kids Aren't Alright" or "Self Esteem" (I know that was in GH:WOR but that could've had a different one), but this one. It's not even that fun on guitar unless you like chords and strumming. THUMBS DOWN.

"Rock And Roll Is Dead" - Lenny Kravitz
I've panned most of the guest acts but credit where due, this one's a solid pick. Excellent riffs/solos and it fits in with the sound of Van Halen, even if it's more Funk than Blues. Whilst this could've worked in the Lenny Kravitz pack they released for GH5, it doesn't feel out of place on-disc here. THUMBS UP, even if the song's sentiment unintentionally echoes the overall reception to the GH franchise at that point in time.

"Romeo Delight" - Van Halen
Another great Hard Rock tune by the band. It has some challenging solos, heavy riffs and a soft section in the middle to emphasise the final chorus. Another standard Van Halen song and certainly a great choice for this game. THUMBS UP.

"Runnin' With The Devil" - Van Halen
Possibly the band's most famous song apart from "Jump", which doesn't really represent their sound in the slightest. It's the second song you play in career mode after "Panama" and even if it is pretty easy on guitar, it's still fun. There's no way they could've justified leaving this song out of the setlist so it's a clear THUMBS UP.

"Safe European Home" - The Clash
I have no qualms about The Clash being in GH:VH and I suppose this is one of the best songs they could've picked, since The Clash don't really have any fun guitar songs. Guitar's straightforward here and even though it gets a little silly in the outro, this song still manages to have more dignity than several songs on this list. This was likely chosen by ATVI instead of Wolfgang but if he did choose it, congrats son; you didn't fuck up. THUMBS UP.

"Semi-Charmed Life" - Third Eye Blind
Welcome back, Wolfgang. This probably should've been on the Third Eye Blind track pack along with "Jumper" instead of the songs they picked but hey, it's not a stain on the GH:VH soundtrack. It's not the most appropriate song either but it doesn't suck. It's fun to play and listen to so I'm giving it the benefit of the doubt with a THUMBS UP. However, this means that another song will probably get a Thumbs Down for balance later on, as mentioned with "Dope Nose" and "Master Exploder".

"Sick, Sick, Sick" - Queens Of The Stone Age
Wow, didn't expect that song to come so soon. It's a fun guitar chart and a great song for QOTSA but doesn't belong on GH:VH at all. This should've been on GH5 instead of "Make It Wit Chu", a song that should've been left in Josh Homme's reject pile when recording for Era Vulgaris. THUMBS DOWN even though I like listening to and playing the song but hey, I've got to at least pretend to be fair here.

"So This Is Love?" - Van Halen
Another song that I found out about thanks to this game. Great bassline and a pretty damn fun guitar chart too. The song massively grew on me since hearing it in GH:VH and to this day, it's still one of my on-disc highlights. THUMBS UP.

"Somebody Get Me A Doctor" - Van Halen
I love this song's solo (even if it is quite hard to play) but the actual melody itself is a little off. It sounds unfinished to me or as if EVH took a bunch of notes from other riffs that weren't working and pulled a Frankenstein with it, sort of like the "Tom Sawyer" guitar solo. At least it's consistently fun to play and doesn't feel insulting by taking the place of a better song so it's a THUMBS UP.

"Space Truckin'" - Deep Purple
This guest act feels appropriate and it has a fairly fun guitar chart, even if Deep Purple songs tend to be more miss than hit on GH/RB. I would've thought a track like "Lazy" would've been better for the game, as that sounds more like the kind of song Van Halen would listen to and want to replicate in their own material. However, we got "Space Truckin'" and I'm not disappointed. THUMBS UP.

"Spanish Fly" - Van Halen
The last of the guitar solo trilogy and possibly my favourite. I love the sound of it and it's definitely more fun to play than "Eruption" and "Cathedral". It's still fucking challenging though so don't attempt it unprepared. THUMBS UP.

"Stacy's Mom" - Fountains Of Wayne
Those of you who knew about this setlist were probably waiting for me to get to this track, huh. It's without a doubt, the dumbest track on this game. Fucking boring chart, fucking shitty music, fucking out of place on the setlist and chances are it was fucking down to Wolfgang. THUMBS DOWN and a great big middle finger to everyone who liked this song growing up; your younger self is a colossal prick.

"The Takedown" - Yellowcard
Neck and neck with "I Want It All", this song's one of my favourite on-disc guest acts. It might not belong in the game but fucking hell, it's incredibly fun to play. Granted they had to chart violin to make it fun but at least that shreddy bit in the solo is all guitar. I might not be overly fond of listening to the song outside of GH but the chart is fun enough to give it a THUMBS UP entirely based on how awesome it is. THAT is how much I enjoy playing it.

"Unchained" - Van Halen
I suppose the problem with just picking David Lee Roth era songs is that you end up with a lot of bland Van Halen tracks, like this one. This song works if you haven't got a lot of Van Halen songs to work with but since the game is loaded with them, it gets overtaken by all the better songs. THUMBS DOWN.

"White Wedding (Part 1)" - Billy Idol
Sure, I guess this song works? I can imagine the boys in the band listening to this and it's a good pick for an easy guitar song at the start of the career mode. Plus, they pretty much used all the other Billy Idol songs for different games...except "Speed"...and "Blue Highway"...and "Mony Mony"...but you get the point. THUMBS UP.

"You Really Got Me" - Van Halen
Finishing the setlist is the original master recording of a cover version of a song by The Kinks. I say this because WaveGroup Sound recorded a cover for Guitar Hero 2 so naturally, the original had to be in this game. Plus, it's a well known recording of theirs off the debut. However, I personally would've preferred the Kinks original without the awkward tapping solo. Still, I can't fault the song's inclusion and chart when there's no real reason to vote against them. THUMBS UP.


Now it's time for the final score. With 27 Thumbs Up to 20 Thumbs Down, it seems I do still believe the Guitar Hero: Van Halen soundtrack has some merit. I really thought this would be the first game where there'd be more Thumbs Down than Up. Ah well, there's always GH5.