I bought tickets to see Blue Oyster Cult sometime last year and have spent the last couple of months looking forward to seeing not only a cracking Classic/Hard Rock band playing iconic tunes but also my favourite guitarist absolutely killing it on guitar.
Man, was I disappointed.
I saw Blue Oyster Cult a couple of days ago at the O2 Academy in Leeds and whilst I didn't hate the evening's performance, I certainly expected better from these guys. However, the show didn't start with BOC; instead, we were treated to a short set by The Temperance Movement, a band I've discussed a few times on this blog and generally like. Despite a few odd choices in their set, they did a damn fine job of warming up the mostly elderly crowd with their loud Blues Rock and stage presence.
Phil Campbell belted out his raw vocals with album-quality precision whilst dancing around the stage like Thom Yorke and the majority of songs picked were bangers ("Take Me Back", "Caught In The Middle", "Midnight Black") although there were some issues. For starters, even though Phil was maintaining a high level of energy throughout the entire gig, the rest of the band were pretty static. They didn't have to prance about the stage like Mick Jagger but it would've been good to see some enthusiasm from the guitarists.
Then there was their choice of opening song, "Only Friend". It's a good footstomper but a terrible opening song choice; they would've been better off with a slightly faster, more energetic song like "Built-In Forgetter" or "Oh, Lorraine", something that isn't too powerful but enough to set the tone for their portion of the concert. There was also a portion towards the end where they played two slower songs that successfully brought the energy attained throughout the show down to levels where most of the audience felt comfortable chatting over the top of the music.
Despite these critiques, I would recommend seeing The Temperance Movement if you like their material although if you asked me the same thing about Blue Oyster Cult, I'd genuinely need to think about it for a while. It's not a good sign when the band come on stage and two songs into the main set, you find yourself asking "...wait, are these guys Blue Oyster Cult?" They kicked things off with an unintentionally hilarious rendition of "Dr Music" with Buck Dharma performing the high pitched chorus vocals traditionally done by female backing singers followed by a forgettable stab at "Before The Kiss, A Redcap".
From there, the show had ups and downs but there were a couple of things that could be argued either way. Firstly, there was the bizarre choice of deep cuts that seemed to make up the majority of the setlist. I was surprised that Blue Oyster Cult played "Golden Age Of Leather", "E.T.I. (Extra Terrestrial Intelligence)" and "Hot Rails To Hell" live but never in a million years would've guessed they'd pick those over classics like "Cities On Flame With Rock And Roll", "Joan Crawford" or "Astronomy", none of which were played.
Whilst I can understand the desire felt by older bands to mix setlists up so they're not just playing the same hits over and over again, I doubt they've played many UK shows recently so omitting certain fan favourites in place of songs like "She's As Beautiful As A Foot" so they could have a Proggy jam felt questionable, which brings me onto the next point; the jamming. Blue Oyster Cult must've gone off on random, instrumental jams on at least every other song they played. Long, tedious jams that genuinely nearly sent me to sleep.
In my opinion, a band has a free pass for one live jam session, two tops if one of them is the final song of the night (ignoring the encore). Some bands are known for excessive jamming on stage and maybe Blue Oyster Cult are one of those, since they definitely have some heavily kooky/psychedelic songs in their arsenal of Classic Rock. As someone who likes an even mix of their early heavy, Riff-Based-Rock and their mystical, synthy Arena Rock, I would've preferred one extra song instead of all the constant jamming.
Now, let's move onto some of the undeniably negative aspects: the band were not on top form. I don't know if it was a dud night for them or if they just couldn't give a shit about a night at a venue they'll almost certainly never play again but the overall vibe they were giving was one of not being prepared. Instead of bantering with the audience in between songs or telling anecdotes about the myriad of deep cuts they were playing, there were multiple moments of awkward silence as the band chatted with each other.
Band members also showed little enthusiasm for the gig with Buck Dharma playing as stiff as a mannequin and drummer Jules Radino changing tempo an embarrassing number of times with his double bass WAY too loud in the mix. However, at least some band members conveyed a little personality; Danny Miranda had some fun on stage in between laying down bass licks and Richie Castellano wasn't afraid to go full-Slash during some of the guitar solos. Eric Bloom was a pretty bland frontman but at least he engaged with the crowd now and then, mostly during the encore.
In fact, that was when the band was the most animated; during the two songs they played after buggering off stage for a few minutes. If they had that level of energy throughout the entire gig, I probably wouldn't have been so let down. Unfortunately, despite having some solid moments (excellent performance of "Godzilla", awesome additional solo in the "(Don't Fear) The Reaper" outro that sounded better than the first, great riffing and pitch-perfect lead vocals from Buck Dharma), there were too many flaws for this to reach one of my favourite gigs. This is somewhere in the middle; below Saxon, Bad Company and The Darkness but above Deep Purple, Judas Priest and Muse.
If you just want to hear a band you like play songs you may or may not enjoy without getting cute with the arrangement, a Blue Oyster Cult show probably isn't the gig for you. If you like bands winging it and maybe creating one memorable section over the course of two hours, tickets are almost certainly still on sale. I'm glad I got a chance to see Blue Oyster Cult before they threw in the towel with the rest of the 70s Rock bands currently bowing out gracefully though. Hopefully next time I see middle-aged rockers belting out classics, it'll be a better experience!
Thursday 28 February 2019
Saturday 23 February 2019
Band Hero
What's this? Another blog post and one that breaks the GH - RB - GH - RB pattern of rhythm music game setlist discussions? Yep, I'm looking at the teen friendly Band Hero instead of a Rock Band expansion pack this time, mostly because I plan on going for the Band Hero FGFC on Clone Hero which means revisiting all of the songs/charts in the game. Since I have to listen to all the songs anyway, I figured I might as well write my verdicts here so I don't have to listen to all the mindless, generic Pop this game had to offer for a second time down the line.
If you want to read about Rock music, feel free to catch up on previous Guitar Hero and Rock Band related blog posts!
"A Million Ways" - OK Go
Of all the OK Go songs to pick for the game, I'm not entirely sure why they went with this one. It probably had something to do with releasing their more popular songs like "Here It Goes Again" and "Do What You Want" as Guitar Hero DLC but either way, this is a relatively forgettable song. It's not the worst Pop Rock song to listen to but they probably would've been better off picking one of the aforementioned OK Go songs with the fun charts and recognisable melodies. THUMBS DOWN.
"ABC" - The Jackson 5
Pretty sure I've talked about this song before but basically, I hate it. I hate the idiotic lyrics, the simplistic music and the fact that everyone else seems to fucking love it. The only decent thing about this song is the drum solo but even that's ruined by the toddler screaming "NO! GEDDUP GURL!" so it's another THUMBS DOWN.
"American Pie" - Don McLean
As far as credits songs go, this is a pretty great choice. Fun chart (even if it does have a lot of piano charted to guitar) and totally appropriate for the game, as the inclusion of a handful of radio friendly Rock songs is the only thing that made this game tolerable. I'm glad they included this song in Band Hero rather than an on-disc GH game so it's getting a THUMBS UP although points should be deducted for the embarrassing censorship of "whiskey" in the chorus...you know, if points were a thing in these posts.
"Angels Of The Silences" - Counting Crows
It's not "Accidentally In Love" so it's not immediately getting a Thumbs Up. That being said, it is a decent tune and the guitar chart's not bad. There are a lot of basic guitar charts in this game and I'm not expecting to be wowed, bumping up the average for what I consider a fun chart. I don't know enough about this band to choose a different/better song so I guess I have no choice but to give it a THUMBS UP.
"Back Again" - Parachute
Not gonna lie, I actually kinda like this song. Guitar chart's pretty fun and the melody is enjoyable. I don't like it enough to listen to the song outside of GH but for the purposes of playing it in a rhythm music game, it gets a THUMBS UP.
"Bad Reputation" - Joan Jett
Mostly just chords and strumming but hey, it's not a bad song...at least not until the key change, THEN it's a bad song. It's also not a bad chart...until the key change, then it's a boring chart. Still, you can thank Shrek for making this song popular enough to include on Band Hero and whilst it's not one I play that often, it's not a song I despise listening to or playing so I'm giving it a THUMBS UP. Plus, I can't think of any other Joan Jett songs that'd be better in this game.
"Beautiful Soul" - Jesse McCartney
Ugh, this song is lame. Bland modern Pop for teenage girls, one step above Jonas Brothers and shit like that. However, the chart isn't awful. It's not great either, as many of the acoustic guitar riffs would've been so much better if they had HOPOs instead of strums, but it's not just a series of chords and strumming. Some thought was put into this song choice but that doesn't stop it from getting a THUMBS DOWN.
"Believe" - The Bravery
I like this song quite a bit. Great bass, decent vocal melodies, catchy chorus and some fun guitar too! This is the kind of song I wish there were more of in Band Hero; modern Pop Rock/Alternative that's got some decent guitar. I understand why the setlist was what it was but it's a shame we didn't get more surprisingly awesome tunes like this one. THUMBS UP.
"Black Cat" - Janet Jackson
First off, this song has a bitchin' guitar riff. It's not the most fun to play but damn, it is great to listen to. After that, the chart's pretty basic...until the guitar solo. This song's guitar solo is surprisingly challenging if you're not expecting it, making it another surprisingly fun tune to play! It's also a great choice from the 80s, as it's not quite cheesy enough to make you grow tired of playing it (see "YMCA") but it's not heavy enough to put off this game's target audience. THUMBS UP.
"Black Horse And The Cherry Tree" - KT Tunstall
Before this game, I knew exactly two KT Tunstall songs: this one and "Suddenly I See". I'm glad Band Hero got this song, as it's my personal favourite. Fun guitar and a great lively rhythm. It's definitely a song for vocalists but it helps that there's some solid guitar throughout too, earning it another THUMBS UP.
"Bring Me To Life" - Evanescence
I hate this song. Whiny, affected, pseudo-Rock bollocks. On the one hand, I'm glad this track was included in Band Hero instead of a Guitar Hero game/DLC but on the other, it's a terrible song and I would've been perfectly content had it never disgraced any of the Hero games. Anyway, enough about my personal distaste towards the song; how's the chart? Well, it's basically just chords and strumming with a few sustains...so THUMBS DOWN.
"Dirty Little Secret" - The All-American Rejects
Never been into these guys, although I doubt any of you will be that surprised. These guys are safe Pop Rock for edgy teenage girls so their songs tend to sound the same. That being said, I don't hate this song or chart. It's run-of-the-mill for this game so I guess it belongs here as much as any other All-American Rejects tune. I'm on the fence about this one but I'm going to give them a THUMBS UP because I sort of like the guitar riff. Just a shame it's stapled to this song.
"Do You Really Want To Hurt Me" - Culture Club
80s Pop song? Cool! This particular 80s Pop song? Oh. I guess it's an alright song with a good easy chart for the start of the game's career mode, although I personally would've preferred "Karma Chameleon" or some other 80s New Wave song, as there were plenty with fun guitar. Some Blondie perhaps, maybe "Echo Beach" - Martha And The Muffins? Yeah, now that I think about it, I don't like this song. The chorus is annoying and it forms the majority of the song's melody. THUMBS DOWN.
"Don't Speak" - No Doubt
One of two songs by No Doubt in this game and I have to say, I hate both songs equally! Boring guitar, irritating vocals, just really bland performances by everyone all-round. Fuck No Doubt. THUMBS DOWN.
"Every Rose Has Its Thorn" - Poison
As indifferent as I am to this Country song masquerading as a Hair Metal ballad, the guitar chart's actually pretty fun. Some great HOPO riffs and a short but sweet solo. I would've preferred a Hair Metal power ballad like "Home Sweet Home" - Motley Crue but this song's a good choice, I suppose. Probably more accessible than "Home Sweet Home" too. THUMBS UP.
"Fascination" - Alphabeat
I remember hearing this song's chorus in TV ads a lot which put me off it for a while. However, after listening to the song in full, I actually sort of like it! Catchy melody and some decent guitar (although plenty of awkward strumming too), plus it's upbeat Pop so definitely the perfect music for this game. There are a bunch of other upbeat chart songs I would probably have preferred in this game but I can't think of a good enough reason to give it a Thumbs Down so, by process of elimination, it must earn a THUMBS UP.
"Gasoline" - The Airbourne Toxic Event
Oh boy, I love this song! I especially love the heavy guitar riff and HOPO use in this classic Audioslave so...oh, wait. It's not the song I'm thinking of. It's just a modern Rock song that sort of sounds like a worse version of Tom Petty. This song has some fun guitar parts and awkward guitar parts but it's getting a THUMBS UP for being a moderately challenging guitar chart in comparison to the rest of the game. Plus, it's not just pre-pubescent teenage Pop Rock so it deserves some credit for that.
"Hands Down" - Dashboard Confessional
Aaaaand here's the pre-pubescent teenage Pop Rock. Chart's mostly chord strumming but there are some fun riffs here and there. Unfortunately, most of them would be more fun with HOPOs instead of strum notes but at least they're good riffs to listen to. I know nothing about this band (I don't think I even played this song in Band Hero) so can't comment on what song would be a better choice but since it's a decent Pop Rock tune with a fun chart, it deserves a THUMBS UP.
"Hang Me Up To Dry" - Cold War Kids
THUMBS DOWN to this boring ass, Radiohead-wannabe Indie song with its tedious guitar chart and uninspired music. That's all that needs to be said about this track.
"Happy Together" - The Turtles
This song is popular enough to belong in this game and even though the guitar chart is easy, it contains a fair amount of variety to make it slightly more fun. However, I personally would've preferred more focus on the guitar and less on the annoying brass in the chorus. Still, this is a solid pick for Band Hero. THUMBS UP.
"Honky Tonk Woman" - The Rolling Stones
Bobby Kotick loves his Rolling Stones, huh. Of all their songs to be in Band Hero, this probably has to be one of the more sensible choices. Guitar's OK but nothing special, just like all the other Rolling Stones songs, and it's a relatively well known tune of theirs without being as "heavy" as bigger hits like "Jumpin' Jack Flash" and "Paint It, Black" (which was already in GH3). I'm a little surprised they didn't go for something like "Start Me Up" or "Brown Sugar" but either way, I can't complain about this song's inclusion when the alternative probably wouldn't have been much better. THUMBS UP.
"I Heard It Through The Grapevine" - Marvin Gaye
This game also has plenty of R&B/Soul although, for some reason, they decided to not pick R&B/Soul songs with fun guitar and instead choose ones with strings/brass/keys. We didn't get fun Stevie Wonder songs but we got this one with the sexy bass and annoying trill section on guitar. Still, it's a good tune to listen to...although a horrible song to play so THUMBS DOWN.
"I Want You To Want Me (Live)" - Cheap Trick
Easily one of the best songs in the game. Fun guitar chart and the best version of this song available, since the At Budokan version doesn't sound as good, the In Color original is Bubblegum Pop and the rerecorded studio version doesn't quite pack the same punch. There are some mildly awkward sections but with practise, this song is easy to master and a blast to play. Plus it's one of Cheap Trick's most famous songs that hasn't already been in Guitar Hero so THUMBS UP.
"If You Could Only See" - Tonic
It would've been awesome if this game had a bunch of 90s Alternative Rock songs that crossed into mainstream radio territory, stuff like "Jumper" - Third Eye Blind and "Shine" - Collective Soul. Unfortunately, we got songs like this. Non-threatening 90s Pop Rock with fairly unimpressive guitar for 17 year old girls. That's what happens when a bunch of businessmen in suits thinktank a setlist for a target demographic currently uninterested in rhythm music video games. THUMBS DOWN.
"In A Big Country" - Big Country
Despite being the single edit, this is definitely more fun than the Rock Band 3 chart. It's got some mildly awkward sections but it's still a good chart and a great song to listen to. I don't really know anything else about this band but I'm guessing it's one of their most popular songs, seeing as how they named themselves after it. Regardless of the song/band's origins, it gets a THUMBS UP for sounding different to the average Band Hero song and for being an enjoyable experience to play.
"Just A Girl" - No Doubt
Hey, the circus clowns are back with their Pop Rock cover of the Rugrats theme! I'm sure this was intended to be a sarcastic comment on the perception of women in the media but Gwen Stefani really did a shit job of sounding frustrated at the injustice she faces. In fact, she seems better at singing the borderline slutty girly girl sections more than the "Fuck you and your misogyny" chorus parts. THUMBS DOWN for many reasons including failing to do what artists like Chrissie Hynde (Pretenders) do so fucking brilliantly.
"Kids" - Robbie Williams & Kylie Minogue
Definitely picked for the vocal melody in the chorus but it just so happens that this song has some fairly active guitar too. I suppose I'm glad that we got this song instead of a Robbie Williams song AND a Kylie Minogue one (unless the Robbie Williams one was "A Man For All Seasons") but it's not one I'd want to play often. That being said, it is quite funny listening to Robbie Williams' embarrassing rap in the outro so THUMBS UP for making me chuckle and entertaining me with the guitar chart, I suppose.
"Kung-Fu Fighting" - Carl Douglas
MUCH better than the Lego Rock Band chart, since that version is just chords and strumming. This chart has sections where you play the "DEE-DEE-DEE-DEE-DI-DI-DOO-DOO-DI" bit on tap notes throughout, adding more variety and sparing your strumming wrist from repetitive strain injury. It's also a fun little catchy tune that kids and families probably enjoyed playing together, since it's a universally recognised song. THUMBS UP for being a solid choice and having a tolerable chart.
"L.E.S. Artistes" - Santigold
Boring chart and song. "Say Aha" would've been better in every way. THUMBS DOWN.
"Let's Dance" - David Bowie
Ugh, this song. Boring as fuck in Lego Rock Band and just plain boring in Band Hero, even with the dull brass charted. Seriously, of all the David Bowie songs, this was their best choice? Not "Life On Mars", "Heroes?", "Modern Love", "The Jean Genie", all the other songs I mention when complaining about David Bowie song choices for video games? THUMBS DOWN.
"Lifeline" - Papa Roach
One of the hardest songs in the game although, by any other game's standard, it's pretty fucking easy. Edgy teen Rock with some fun guitar but mostly just strumming when it's not the main riff. I don't know any other better Papa Roach songs but if you want modern Rock with relatively challenging guitar, there's no short supply. Hell, a Foo Fighters song would've done instead of this repetitive shite. THUMBS DOWN.
"Like Whoa" - Aly & AJ
This song's first lyric is "Life is good, I can't complain, I mean I could but no-one's listening". She's complaining about how nobody's listening to her complaining. That should give you an insight into how much I dislike this Disney shit. It just sucks musically, lyrically and from a charting perspective. Aside from one small fast strumming section, it has nothing going for it on guitar. THUMBS DOWN.
"Lips Of An Angel" - Hinder
Modern Hard Pop Rock, just what we were missing! I'm surprised this game didn't have any Creed or Nickelback to go with this song but hey, at least it's not that bland. There's some fun to be had on guitar...like, a tiny minuscule amount. Yet again, it's another song picked to sing along to but at least it's a Rock song instead of more anaemic Pop. THUMBS UP.
"Love Is A Battlefield" - Pat Benatar
Awesome song, great guitar chart (complete with bitchin' solo), totally suitable for this game. One of the best songs in Band Hero and I feel no shame in saying that. THUMBS UP.
"Love Story" - Taylor Swift
The first of three songs by Taylor Swift, an artist who started off with Country Pop before transitioning to just Pop because it made her more money/was easier to sell. This complete crap with dull guitar and cliched lyrics about Romeo & Juliet written by an eleven year-old is a perfect example of a song that deserves a THUMBS DOWN. Can't wait to see what else Taylor has to offer!
"Mr. Roboto" - Styx
Hats off to Activision for getting the original version of this song instead of a rerecording, which is probably why it didn't export to other games. Anyway, I love this song! Guitar chart's OK, nothing fancy but it's exactly what it needed to be for this song. The track itself is probably the best Styx song to choose, since some of their other Pop songs are probably a bit too much on the Prog side like "Come Sail Away" although I think I would've been happy with most popular Styx songs. THUMBS UP.
"Naive" - The Kooks
Hate The Kooks and this song. If it was "Sofa Song" or "She Moves In Her Own Way", MAYBE I would've been less harsh but instead, we got this wank. On the plus side, it's more active guitar than a lot of other songs on this list but sadly, it's all in service of a song I wouldn't listen to even if it drowned out the sound of my parents fucking. THUMBS DOWN.
"Ocean Avenue" - Yellowcard
I've listened to this song a bunch of times and I still can't remember anything about it. It's just generic weeny Pop Punk and certainly no "The Takedown". However, I'm guessing it's also this band's most popular song so it's a logical choice for the game. Plus, aside from all the chord strumming, there are some fun HOPO/tap note sections. Ah, what the hell. THUMBS UP for not being an awful Pop Punk song like "Stacy's Mom" or "Teenage Dirtbag".
"Oh, Pretty Woman" - Roy Orbison
Yeah, I like this song's riff. I prefer it to the one in the Van Halen cover too, although the rest of the song is pretty dull. If I'm being honest, I'm not entirely sure why this song was in the game as I doubt the target audience are that familiar with it to the point that they'd love to play/sing it. Some 60s songs like "Happy Together" that have reached a certain level of cultural acceptance are understandable but Roy Orbison ain't reaching the teens, I'll tell you that much. Plus, I probably would've preferred some other piece of Pop Rock from the 60s. Maybe something by Herman's Hermits or Jefferson Airplane? "Somebody To Love" would've been a great choice for this game. THUMBS DOWN, I'm afraid.
"Our Lips Are Sealed" - The Go-Go's
Meh, I prefer the Fun Boy Three version of this song. Once again, it's serviceable 80s Pop Rock but I would've preferred some Blondie, as something like "Atomic" or "Call Me" probably would've been more enjoyable on guitar. However, personal taste aside, this song is suitable for the game and probably more popular than I'm aware of so THUMBS UP.
"Paralyzer" - Finger Eleven
Whilst I personally prefer the song "Living In A Dream" by this band, this is the bigger single and still has plenty of guitar throughout so it's the better choice for the game. Plus, I think "Living In A Dream" hadn't been released when this game came out so really, it's the only choice by this band. THUMBS UP despite the awkward guitar riff in the verse.
"Picture To Burn" - Taylor Swift
Yee-haw, more Country from the artist we're all supposed to worship for some reason. However, of all the Taylor Swift songs to pick for the game, this is probably the best since "Shake It Off" hadn't been released yet. It's actually got some fun guitar, complete with banjo licks and a sweet solo. If you want a fun guitar chart and can tune out the terrible lyrics (seriously, they're fucking awful), you'll get some joy out of this. THUMBS UP.
"Pictures Of You" - The Last Goodnight
What is this shit and why did they censor "gun" in the lyrics? Don't want to toddlers playing this game to know weapons exist? THUMBS DOWN.
"Put Your Records On" - Corinne Bailey Rae
I fucking hate this song. I remember hearing it on the radio all the fucking time growing up and hating every second of it. This was clearly another song picked for the purpose of singing along with friends in your bedroom after school, hence the dull guitar chart and the THUMBS DOWN I'm giving it.
"Rio" - Duran Duran
There are exactly two songs by Duran Duran that I like and since Guitar Hero 5 got the other one, I'm glad Band Hero got this one. It's also much more fun than the Rock Band chart, which was simultaneously boring AND awkward on guitar. Granted there's brass charted with tap notes here but I'm OK with that. I'm also OK with this particular 80s Pop song being in the game so THUMBS UP.
"Rock Star" - N.E.R.D.
I would genuinely have preferred the Nickelback song "Rock Star" over this trash performed by more Hip Hop cunts who don't understand what the term "Rock Star" means. THUMBS DOWN.
"Santa Monica" - Everclear
This bland Surf Rock song means absolutely nothing to me and the fact that it exists annoys me, as it meant a potentially better 90s/00s Alternative Rock song lost a place on this game's setlist. There are some decent HOPO sections that last precisely half a second each and the rest of the song consists of chords and sustains. Boring track and chart. THUMBS DOWN.
"She Will Be Loved" - Maroon 5
Hey hey, it's the other circus clown that was playable in the game, Adam Levine! It'll come as no surprise to you that I fucking hate Maroon 5 on account of having working ears connected to a functioning brain so we all know the verdict I'm going to give this generic Pop shite...but let's spend some time dicking on the track a little more, shall we? Dull 4/4 strumming, uninspired vocal melodies (anyone else hear touches of early 00s Red Hot Chili Peppers in the chorus?), absolutely no backbone from any of the band members playing on this garbage excuse for a soulful song, an appalling lack of variety in the chart due to the simplistic nature of the song and even though vocalists will probably have a blast wailing along to Patch Adam, it's getting an almighty THUMBS DOWN from me.
"So Yesterday" - Hilary Duff
Remember Hilary Duff? You do? Why? Anyway, she has a song with a name almost as annoying as the thought of Hilary Duff. Unsurprisingly, the guitar chart is dull and repetitive and the songis even worse than I thought a song called "So Yesterday" would be. THUMBS DOWN.
"Steal My Kisses" - Ben Harper & The Innocent Criminals
Jesus, we're fully into the shit now, aren't we? More generic chord strumming to a funky rhythm in a sorry excuse for a 90s Surf Rock tune. Serious question, how did Activision fuck up the setlist this badly? Harmonix had the right idea with Lego Rock Band but Activision clearly had no clue, almost as if the setlist was picked by about eight cynical businessmen with a collective age of 430 years after a few hours Googling "What do youngsters listen to?" or asking a single intern what was on their iPod. THUMBS DOWN.
"Sugar, We're Going' Down" - Fall Out Boy
....I mean, I can't fault the inclusion of Fall Out Boy in Band Hero, as much as I dislike their pipsqueak brand of "Rock". What I am confused about is why they also appeared in Guitar Hero Warriors Of Rock, since I thought this game served an unintended purpose of attracting terrible Pop Rock songs away from GH like a black hole for non-edgy teen music? Anyway, the guitar chart is average. Chords, strumming, a decent HOPO outro and some relatively challenging rhythms for those unfamiliar with the game but otherwise, just a dull experience in comparison to some of their other songs like "Thnks Fr Th Mmrs" or "Dead On Arrival". THUMBS DOWN.
"Take A Picture" - Filter
This song is only six minutes long but my God, it felt like double that when I played it in Band Hero. Anyway, what can I say about the chart? How about "hope you like chord strumming, kids!" as that's all this song is...for six minutes. In what world could someone find this an objectively enjoyable experience on guitar, especially when compared to their other song in GH, "Hey Man, Nice Shot"? I mean, this song is the complete fucking opposite of that one in every way! Complete misfire of a song choice. THUMBS DOWN.
"Take Back The City" - Snow Patrol
Yep, I hate Snow Patrol too. Moaning horseshit disguised as Rock that everyone I grew up with fucking loved. I will say this though; I do prefer this song to "Chasing Cars" and that one from the Spider-Man film...although I still dislike this song overall. The chorus is like a worse version of the "I'm not scared" part from "New Way Home" - Foo Fighters although the chart isn't awful. Since Snow Patrol were quite popular and this song is definitely the best one of theirs that I've heard, I'm giving it a reluctant THUMBS UP.
"Take What You Take" - Lily Allen
This song actually surprised me when it was announced for the game. I'm not sure if Lily Allen took off in America but she used to be on the radio all the fucking time in the UK. I heard a lot of her tunes on the radio but never this one. If I did hear this one, I probably would've given her a fairer chance instead of judging her based on the shite that charted instead. It's a fun tune with some decent guitar so THUMBS UP for giving me a reason to enjoy Lily Allen's music, something I never thought any of her songs would do.
"The Adventure" - Angels & Airwaves
Now we have one of those modern Pop Rock songs that's all about having "feeeeeeeeeeeelings". Guitar's pretty dull, mostly just strumming single notes although there's plenty of variety in the note formation. Sadly, the song is kinda meh and the outro goes on way too long. I don't know anything about this band so can't recommend an alternative. However, assuming these guys are the American equivalent of UK bands like Franz Ferdinand and Kaiser Chiefs, it would've been good to get songs by bands like Franz Ferdinand and Kaiser Chiefs in the game. They're fairly popular and have fun guitar charts, which is probably why they ended up on Band Hero DS/Guitar Hero On Tour: Modern Hits instead. Ah well, THUMBS DOWN.
"The Impression That I Get" - The Mighty Mighty Bosstones
Originally, I had no interest in buying Band Hero...until this song was confirmed for the game's setlist, then I knew I had to buy it. It was a track I requested to be in GH way before Band Hero and thankfully, the guitar chart is everything I hoped for and more. Fun chord sequence and a fun Ska Punk tune to listen to. Definitely the best Mighty Mighty Bosstones song they could've picked and whilst some people would probably want other Ska Punk tracks, this is a straight up THUMBS UP from me.
"Turn Off The Light" - Nelly Furtado
I don't know anything about Nelly Furtado, other than the fact that her name sounds like a cruel and archaic way of referring to someone with special needs, but judging by this song I can also infer that Nelly's never heard of the expression "less is more". This song sounds like she was given a list of available musical effects and instruments to use and instead of choosing ones that compliment each other, she just slammed her hand on the clipboard and blurted out "ALLADEM". That being said, I would probably like this song a lot if it wasn't overproduced. It's a nice melody and the guitar chart is pretty fun! THUMBS UP.
"Walking On Sunshine" - Katrina and the Waves
Another chart that's better than its Rock Band counterpart, mostly due to the variety added with brass on guitar. Other than that though, it's totally appropriate for the game. Fun and catchy tune, somewhat entertaining chart and I literally have no idea if Katrina and the Waves have ever recorded another song in the history of their career so "Walking On Sunshine" is the only choice available. THUMBS UP.
"Wannabe" - Spice Girls
Oh boy, THIS one. The one where the women rap "If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends" and "Slam your body down and wind it all around". The "guitar" chart is pretty laughable but this was clearly picked for the vocals, which I can understand. After all, this is one of those songs where people who like it either do so because they genuinely like the tune or they're doing it ironically because it's so cheesy. I'm neither of those people. THUMBS DOWN. There are better Pop songs to sing and play.
"Warwick Avenue" - Duffy
This is another song I could never get into when it came out. I remember the music video of her crying in black and white but I preferred "Mercy" and "Rain On Your Parade". However, this song has more active guitar than I thought it would and the vocals are pretty damn good. I'm glad we got more Soul in this game, even if it is modern Soul. Plus, they could've picked an Amy Winehouse song. That would've been embarrassing. THUMBS UP.
"When I'm Gone" - 3 Doors Down
On the plus side, this is a Rock song with a decent guitar chart. On the downside, it's by that band that played at Trump's inauguration so they're basically on the same respectability level as one of those bands fronted by a paedophile. Then again, when this song was picked, the world didn't know just how cuntish these cunts were so I suppose it's a THUMBS UP that has aged incredibly poorly.
"Whip It" - Devo
There are several Devo songs they could've picked for this game but I'm glad they picked the obvious choice. "Whip It" is a good tune to listen to on occasion and whilst it's not the most fun guitar chart, it's what it needs to be; easy for the start of the game's career mode. In short, I like this song and it's getting a THUMBS UP.
"Y.M.C.A." - Village People
This song is responsible for a funny scene in Wayne's World 2 and a hilarious joke in The Life And Times Of Tim. Other than that, I'm struggling to think of any other benefit to living in a reality where this song exists. It certainly isn't this chart that contains absolutely no guitar despite there being guitar in the song. Sure, it may have that challenging little tap note section throughout but I would taken literally any other 70s Funk/Disco song in its place. Some Bee Gees would've been incredible instead of this...this fucking meme. THUMBS DOWN.
"You Belong With Me" - Taylor Swift
The final song by Taylor Swift-Transition-From-Country-To-Pop-To-Make-More-Money. The lyrics tell a story of a girl singing to a guy she likes about how his girlfriend is wrong for him and that they should be together instead; I have multiple issues with this song. Number 1: Taylor Swift could've had any guy she wanted at school, she was rich and (probably) attractive. Number 2: I don't believe for a second that Taylor would've been the quiet, awkward chick. Taylor Swift was almost certainly the school bitch or at least one of them. 3) "You Belong With Me"? Way to get weirdly possessive about romance, Taylor. If I were a guy in high school, I'd probably want to go out with the girl trying to claim me like a fucking trophy. Once again, it's lowest common denominator pandering. Oh yeah, and the music/guitar chart sucks. THUMBS DOWN.
"You Had Me" - Joss Stone
I hate Joss Stone's voice and, by extension, this song. However, that is one great guitar/clavinet chart. It's also a popular tune so it makes sense to include in this game's setlist AND it's funny to listen to with all the censored lyrics. THUMBS UP.
With that, we reach the end of the setlist and the scores are 35 Thumbs Up to 30 Thumbs Down. Despite being a setlist containing mostly Pop and modern crap, it wins with a 54% approval rating! As for what I've personally gained from revisiting all of the songs/charts, I've learned that whilst there are some good times to be had from trying to FC every song in the game, I've also got a lot of shit to wade through if I want to join the esteemed league of rhythm music gamers who successfully FGFC'd Band Hero about 10 years ago when people gave a shit.
Feel free to join me at twitch.tv/iasg14 to see my suffer through it yourself!
If you want to read about Rock music, feel free to catch up on previous Guitar Hero and Rock Band related blog posts!
"A Million Ways" - OK Go
Of all the OK Go songs to pick for the game, I'm not entirely sure why they went with this one. It probably had something to do with releasing their more popular songs like "Here It Goes Again" and "Do What You Want" as Guitar Hero DLC but either way, this is a relatively forgettable song. It's not the worst Pop Rock song to listen to but they probably would've been better off picking one of the aforementioned OK Go songs with the fun charts and recognisable melodies. THUMBS DOWN.
"ABC" - The Jackson 5
Pretty sure I've talked about this song before but basically, I hate it. I hate the idiotic lyrics, the simplistic music and the fact that everyone else seems to fucking love it. The only decent thing about this song is the drum solo but even that's ruined by the toddler screaming "NO! GEDDUP GURL!" so it's another THUMBS DOWN.
"American Pie" - Don McLean
As far as credits songs go, this is a pretty great choice. Fun chart (even if it does have a lot of piano charted to guitar) and totally appropriate for the game, as the inclusion of a handful of radio friendly Rock songs is the only thing that made this game tolerable. I'm glad they included this song in Band Hero rather than an on-disc GH game so it's getting a THUMBS UP although points should be deducted for the embarrassing censorship of "whiskey" in the chorus...you know, if points were a thing in these posts.
"Angels Of The Silences" - Counting Crows
It's not "Accidentally In Love" so it's not immediately getting a Thumbs Up. That being said, it is a decent tune and the guitar chart's not bad. There are a lot of basic guitar charts in this game and I'm not expecting to be wowed, bumping up the average for what I consider a fun chart. I don't know enough about this band to choose a different/better song so I guess I have no choice but to give it a THUMBS UP.
"Back Again" - Parachute
Not gonna lie, I actually kinda like this song. Guitar chart's pretty fun and the melody is enjoyable. I don't like it enough to listen to the song outside of GH but for the purposes of playing it in a rhythm music game, it gets a THUMBS UP.
"Bad Reputation" - Joan Jett
Mostly just chords and strumming but hey, it's not a bad song...at least not until the key change, THEN it's a bad song. It's also not a bad chart...until the key change, then it's a boring chart. Still, you can thank Shrek for making this song popular enough to include on Band Hero and whilst it's not one I play that often, it's not a song I despise listening to or playing so I'm giving it a THUMBS UP. Plus, I can't think of any other Joan Jett songs that'd be better in this game.
"Beautiful Soul" - Jesse McCartney
Ugh, this song is lame. Bland modern Pop for teenage girls, one step above Jonas Brothers and shit like that. However, the chart isn't awful. It's not great either, as many of the acoustic guitar riffs would've been so much better if they had HOPOs instead of strums, but it's not just a series of chords and strumming. Some thought was put into this song choice but that doesn't stop it from getting a THUMBS DOWN.
"Believe" - The Bravery
I like this song quite a bit. Great bass, decent vocal melodies, catchy chorus and some fun guitar too! This is the kind of song I wish there were more of in Band Hero; modern Pop Rock/Alternative that's got some decent guitar. I understand why the setlist was what it was but it's a shame we didn't get more surprisingly awesome tunes like this one. THUMBS UP.
"Black Cat" - Janet Jackson
First off, this song has a bitchin' guitar riff. It's not the most fun to play but damn, it is great to listen to. After that, the chart's pretty basic...until the guitar solo. This song's guitar solo is surprisingly challenging if you're not expecting it, making it another surprisingly fun tune to play! It's also a great choice from the 80s, as it's not quite cheesy enough to make you grow tired of playing it (see "YMCA") but it's not heavy enough to put off this game's target audience. THUMBS UP.
"Black Horse And The Cherry Tree" - KT Tunstall
Before this game, I knew exactly two KT Tunstall songs: this one and "Suddenly I See". I'm glad Band Hero got this song, as it's my personal favourite. Fun guitar and a great lively rhythm. It's definitely a song for vocalists but it helps that there's some solid guitar throughout too, earning it another THUMBS UP.
"Bring Me To Life" - Evanescence
I hate this song. Whiny, affected, pseudo-Rock bollocks. On the one hand, I'm glad this track was included in Band Hero instead of a Guitar Hero game/DLC but on the other, it's a terrible song and I would've been perfectly content had it never disgraced any of the Hero games. Anyway, enough about my personal distaste towards the song; how's the chart? Well, it's basically just chords and strumming with a few sustains...so THUMBS DOWN.
"Dirty Little Secret" - The All-American Rejects
Never been into these guys, although I doubt any of you will be that surprised. These guys are safe Pop Rock for edgy teenage girls so their songs tend to sound the same. That being said, I don't hate this song or chart. It's run-of-the-mill for this game so I guess it belongs here as much as any other All-American Rejects tune. I'm on the fence about this one but I'm going to give them a THUMBS UP because I sort of like the guitar riff. Just a shame it's stapled to this song.
"Do You Really Want To Hurt Me" - Culture Club
80s Pop song? Cool! This particular 80s Pop song? Oh. I guess it's an alright song with a good easy chart for the start of the game's career mode, although I personally would've preferred "Karma Chameleon" or some other 80s New Wave song, as there were plenty with fun guitar. Some Blondie perhaps, maybe "Echo Beach" - Martha And The Muffins? Yeah, now that I think about it, I don't like this song. The chorus is annoying and it forms the majority of the song's melody. THUMBS DOWN.
"Don't Speak" - No Doubt
One of two songs by No Doubt in this game and I have to say, I hate both songs equally! Boring guitar, irritating vocals, just really bland performances by everyone all-round. Fuck No Doubt. THUMBS DOWN.
"Every Rose Has Its Thorn" - Poison
As indifferent as I am to this Country song masquerading as a Hair Metal ballad, the guitar chart's actually pretty fun. Some great HOPO riffs and a short but sweet solo. I would've preferred a Hair Metal power ballad like "Home Sweet Home" - Motley Crue but this song's a good choice, I suppose. Probably more accessible than "Home Sweet Home" too. THUMBS UP.
"Fascination" - Alphabeat
I remember hearing this song's chorus in TV ads a lot which put me off it for a while. However, after listening to the song in full, I actually sort of like it! Catchy melody and some decent guitar (although plenty of awkward strumming too), plus it's upbeat Pop so definitely the perfect music for this game. There are a bunch of other upbeat chart songs I would probably have preferred in this game but I can't think of a good enough reason to give it a Thumbs Down so, by process of elimination, it must earn a THUMBS UP.
"Gasoline" - The Airbourne Toxic Event
Oh boy, I love this song! I especially love the heavy guitar riff and HOPO use in this classic Audioslave so...oh, wait. It's not the song I'm thinking of. It's just a modern Rock song that sort of sounds like a worse version of Tom Petty. This song has some fun guitar parts and awkward guitar parts but it's getting a THUMBS UP for being a moderately challenging guitar chart in comparison to the rest of the game. Plus, it's not just pre-pubescent teenage Pop Rock so it deserves some credit for that.
"Hands Down" - Dashboard Confessional
Aaaaand here's the pre-pubescent teenage Pop Rock. Chart's mostly chord strumming but there are some fun riffs here and there. Unfortunately, most of them would be more fun with HOPOs instead of strum notes but at least they're good riffs to listen to. I know nothing about this band (I don't think I even played this song in Band Hero) so can't comment on what song would be a better choice but since it's a decent Pop Rock tune with a fun chart, it deserves a THUMBS UP.
"Hang Me Up To Dry" - Cold War Kids
THUMBS DOWN to this boring ass, Radiohead-wannabe Indie song with its tedious guitar chart and uninspired music. That's all that needs to be said about this track.
"Happy Together" - The Turtles
This song is popular enough to belong in this game and even though the guitar chart is easy, it contains a fair amount of variety to make it slightly more fun. However, I personally would've preferred more focus on the guitar and less on the annoying brass in the chorus. Still, this is a solid pick for Band Hero. THUMBS UP.
"Honky Tonk Woman" - The Rolling Stones
Bobby Kotick loves his Rolling Stones, huh. Of all their songs to be in Band Hero, this probably has to be one of the more sensible choices. Guitar's OK but nothing special, just like all the other Rolling Stones songs, and it's a relatively well known tune of theirs without being as "heavy" as bigger hits like "Jumpin' Jack Flash" and "Paint It, Black" (which was already in GH3). I'm a little surprised they didn't go for something like "Start Me Up" or "Brown Sugar" but either way, I can't complain about this song's inclusion when the alternative probably wouldn't have been much better. THUMBS UP.
"I Heard It Through The Grapevine" - Marvin Gaye
This game also has plenty of R&B/Soul although, for some reason, they decided to not pick R&B/Soul songs with fun guitar and instead choose ones with strings/brass/keys. We didn't get fun Stevie Wonder songs but we got this one with the sexy bass and annoying trill section on guitar. Still, it's a good tune to listen to...although a horrible song to play so THUMBS DOWN.
"I Want You To Want Me (Live)" - Cheap Trick
Easily one of the best songs in the game. Fun guitar chart and the best version of this song available, since the At Budokan version doesn't sound as good, the In Color original is Bubblegum Pop and the rerecorded studio version doesn't quite pack the same punch. There are some mildly awkward sections but with practise, this song is easy to master and a blast to play. Plus it's one of Cheap Trick's most famous songs that hasn't already been in Guitar Hero so THUMBS UP.
"If You Could Only See" - Tonic
It would've been awesome if this game had a bunch of 90s Alternative Rock songs that crossed into mainstream radio territory, stuff like "Jumper" - Third Eye Blind and "Shine" - Collective Soul. Unfortunately, we got songs like this. Non-threatening 90s Pop Rock with fairly unimpressive guitar for 17 year old girls. That's what happens when a bunch of businessmen in suits thinktank a setlist for a target demographic currently uninterested in rhythm music video games. THUMBS DOWN.
"In A Big Country" - Big Country
Despite being the single edit, this is definitely more fun than the Rock Band 3 chart. It's got some mildly awkward sections but it's still a good chart and a great song to listen to. I don't really know anything else about this band but I'm guessing it's one of their most popular songs, seeing as how they named themselves after it. Regardless of the song/band's origins, it gets a THUMBS UP for sounding different to the average Band Hero song and for being an enjoyable experience to play.
"Just A Girl" - No Doubt
Hey, the circus clowns are back with their Pop Rock cover of the Rugrats theme! I'm sure this was intended to be a sarcastic comment on the perception of women in the media but Gwen Stefani really did a shit job of sounding frustrated at the injustice she faces. In fact, she seems better at singing the borderline slutty girly girl sections more than the "Fuck you and your misogyny" chorus parts. THUMBS DOWN for many reasons including failing to do what artists like Chrissie Hynde (Pretenders) do so fucking brilliantly.
"Kids" - Robbie Williams & Kylie Minogue
Definitely picked for the vocal melody in the chorus but it just so happens that this song has some fairly active guitar too. I suppose I'm glad that we got this song instead of a Robbie Williams song AND a Kylie Minogue one (unless the Robbie Williams one was "A Man For All Seasons") but it's not one I'd want to play often. That being said, it is quite funny listening to Robbie Williams' embarrassing rap in the outro so THUMBS UP for making me chuckle and entertaining me with the guitar chart, I suppose.
"Kung-Fu Fighting" - Carl Douglas
MUCH better than the Lego Rock Band chart, since that version is just chords and strumming. This chart has sections where you play the "DEE-DEE-DEE-DEE-DI-DI-DOO-DOO-DI" bit on tap notes throughout, adding more variety and sparing your strumming wrist from repetitive strain injury. It's also a fun little catchy tune that kids and families probably enjoyed playing together, since it's a universally recognised song. THUMBS UP for being a solid choice and having a tolerable chart.
"L.E.S. Artistes" - Santigold
Boring chart and song. "Say Aha" would've been better in every way. THUMBS DOWN.
"Let's Dance" - David Bowie
Ugh, this song. Boring as fuck in Lego Rock Band and just plain boring in Band Hero, even with the dull brass charted. Seriously, of all the David Bowie songs, this was their best choice? Not "Life On Mars", "Heroes?", "Modern Love", "The Jean Genie", all the other songs I mention when complaining about David Bowie song choices for video games? THUMBS DOWN.
"Lifeline" - Papa Roach
One of the hardest songs in the game although, by any other game's standard, it's pretty fucking easy. Edgy teen Rock with some fun guitar but mostly just strumming when it's not the main riff. I don't know any other better Papa Roach songs but if you want modern Rock with relatively challenging guitar, there's no short supply. Hell, a Foo Fighters song would've done instead of this repetitive shite. THUMBS DOWN.
"Like Whoa" - Aly & AJ
This song's first lyric is "Life is good, I can't complain, I mean I could but no-one's listening". She's complaining about how nobody's listening to her complaining. That should give you an insight into how much I dislike this Disney shit. It just sucks musically, lyrically and from a charting perspective. Aside from one small fast strumming section, it has nothing going for it on guitar. THUMBS DOWN.
"Lips Of An Angel" - Hinder
Modern Hard Pop Rock, just what we were missing! I'm surprised this game didn't have any Creed or Nickelback to go with this song but hey, at least it's not that bland. There's some fun to be had on guitar...like, a tiny minuscule amount. Yet again, it's another song picked to sing along to but at least it's a Rock song instead of more anaemic Pop. THUMBS UP.
"Love Is A Battlefield" - Pat Benatar
Awesome song, great guitar chart (complete with bitchin' solo), totally suitable for this game. One of the best songs in Band Hero and I feel no shame in saying that. THUMBS UP.
"Love Story" - Taylor Swift
The first of three songs by Taylor Swift, an artist who started off with Country Pop before transitioning to just Pop because it made her more money/was easier to sell. This complete crap with dull guitar and cliched lyrics about Romeo & Juliet written by an eleven year-old is a perfect example of a song that deserves a THUMBS DOWN. Can't wait to see what else Taylor has to offer!
"Mr. Roboto" - Styx
Hats off to Activision for getting the original version of this song instead of a rerecording, which is probably why it didn't export to other games. Anyway, I love this song! Guitar chart's OK, nothing fancy but it's exactly what it needed to be for this song. The track itself is probably the best Styx song to choose, since some of their other Pop songs are probably a bit too much on the Prog side like "Come Sail Away" although I think I would've been happy with most popular Styx songs. THUMBS UP.
"Naive" - The Kooks
Hate The Kooks and this song. If it was "Sofa Song" or "She Moves In Her Own Way", MAYBE I would've been less harsh but instead, we got this wank. On the plus side, it's more active guitar than a lot of other songs on this list but sadly, it's all in service of a song I wouldn't listen to even if it drowned out the sound of my parents fucking. THUMBS DOWN.
"Ocean Avenue" - Yellowcard
I've listened to this song a bunch of times and I still can't remember anything about it. It's just generic weeny Pop Punk and certainly no "The Takedown". However, I'm guessing it's also this band's most popular song so it's a logical choice for the game. Plus, aside from all the chord strumming, there are some fun HOPO/tap note sections. Ah, what the hell. THUMBS UP for not being an awful Pop Punk song like "Stacy's Mom" or "Teenage Dirtbag".
"Oh, Pretty Woman" - Roy Orbison
Yeah, I like this song's riff. I prefer it to the one in the Van Halen cover too, although the rest of the song is pretty dull. If I'm being honest, I'm not entirely sure why this song was in the game as I doubt the target audience are that familiar with it to the point that they'd love to play/sing it. Some 60s songs like "Happy Together" that have reached a certain level of cultural acceptance are understandable but Roy Orbison ain't reaching the teens, I'll tell you that much. Plus, I probably would've preferred some other piece of Pop Rock from the 60s. Maybe something by Herman's Hermits or Jefferson Airplane? "Somebody To Love" would've been a great choice for this game. THUMBS DOWN, I'm afraid.
"Our Lips Are Sealed" - The Go-Go's
Meh, I prefer the Fun Boy Three version of this song. Once again, it's serviceable 80s Pop Rock but I would've preferred some Blondie, as something like "Atomic" or "Call Me" probably would've been more enjoyable on guitar. However, personal taste aside, this song is suitable for the game and probably more popular than I'm aware of so THUMBS UP.
"Paralyzer" - Finger Eleven
Whilst I personally prefer the song "Living In A Dream" by this band, this is the bigger single and still has plenty of guitar throughout so it's the better choice for the game. Plus, I think "Living In A Dream" hadn't been released when this game came out so really, it's the only choice by this band. THUMBS UP despite the awkward guitar riff in the verse.
"Picture To Burn" - Taylor Swift
Yee-haw, more Country from the artist we're all supposed to worship for some reason. However, of all the Taylor Swift songs to pick for the game, this is probably the best since "Shake It Off" hadn't been released yet. It's actually got some fun guitar, complete with banjo licks and a sweet solo. If you want a fun guitar chart and can tune out the terrible lyrics (seriously, they're fucking awful), you'll get some joy out of this. THUMBS UP.
"Pictures Of You" - The Last Goodnight
What is this shit and why did they censor "gun" in the lyrics? Don't want to toddlers playing this game to know weapons exist? THUMBS DOWN.
"Put Your Records On" - Corinne Bailey Rae
I fucking hate this song. I remember hearing it on the radio all the fucking time growing up and hating every second of it. This was clearly another song picked for the purpose of singing along with friends in your bedroom after school, hence the dull guitar chart and the THUMBS DOWN I'm giving it.
"Rio" - Duran Duran
There are exactly two songs by Duran Duran that I like and since Guitar Hero 5 got the other one, I'm glad Band Hero got this one. It's also much more fun than the Rock Band chart, which was simultaneously boring AND awkward on guitar. Granted there's brass charted with tap notes here but I'm OK with that. I'm also OK with this particular 80s Pop song being in the game so THUMBS UP.
"Rock Star" - N.E.R.D.
I would genuinely have preferred the Nickelback song "Rock Star" over this trash performed by more Hip Hop cunts who don't understand what the term "Rock Star" means. THUMBS DOWN.
"Santa Monica" - Everclear
This bland Surf Rock song means absolutely nothing to me and the fact that it exists annoys me, as it meant a potentially better 90s/00s Alternative Rock song lost a place on this game's setlist. There are some decent HOPO sections that last precisely half a second each and the rest of the song consists of chords and sustains. Boring track and chart. THUMBS DOWN.
"She Will Be Loved" - Maroon 5
Hey hey, it's the other circus clown that was playable in the game, Adam Levine! It'll come as no surprise to you that I fucking hate Maroon 5 on account of having working ears connected to a functioning brain so we all know the verdict I'm going to give this generic Pop shite...but let's spend some time dicking on the track a little more, shall we? Dull 4/4 strumming, uninspired vocal melodies (anyone else hear touches of early 00s Red Hot Chili Peppers in the chorus?), absolutely no backbone from any of the band members playing on this garbage excuse for a soulful song, an appalling lack of variety in the chart due to the simplistic nature of the song and even though vocalists will probably have a blast wailing along to Patch Adam, it's getting an almighty THUMBS DOWN from me.
"So Yesterday" - Hilary Duff
Remember Hilary Duff? You do? Why? Anyway, she has a song with a name almost as annoying as the thought of Hilary Duff. Unsurprisingly, the guitar chart is dull and repetitive and the songis even worse than I thought a song called "So Yesterday" would be. THUMBS DOWN.
"Steal My Kisses" - Ben Harper & The Innocent Criminals
Jesus, we're fully into the shit now, aren't we? More generic chord strumming to a funky rhythm in a sorry excuse for a 90s Surf Rock tune. Serious question, how did Activision fuck up the setlist this badly? Harmonix had the right idea with Lego Rock Band but Activision clearly had no clue, almost as if the setlist was picked by about eight cynical businessmen with a collective age of 430 years after a few hours Googling "What do youngsters listen to?" or asking a single intern what was on their iPod. THUMBS DOWN.
"Sugar, We're Going' Down" - Fall Out Boy
....I mean, I can't fault the inclusion of Fall Out Boy in Band Hero, as much as I dislike their pipsqueak brand of "Rock". What I am confused about is why they also appeared in Guitar Hero Warriors Of Rock, since I thought this game served an unintended purpose of attracting terrible Pop Rock songs away from GH like a black hole for non-edgy teen music? Anyway, the guitar chart is average. Chords, strumming, a decent HOPO outro and some relatively challenging rhythms for those unfamiliar with the game but otherwise, just a dull experience in comparison to some of their other songs like "Thnks Fr Th Mmrs" or "Dead On Arrival". THUMBS DOWN.
"Take A Picture" - Filter
This song is only six minutes long but my God, it felt like double that when I played it in Band Hero. Anyway, what can I say about the chart? How about "hope you like chord strumming, kids!" as that's all this song is...for six minutes. In what world could someone find this an objectively enjoyable experience on guitar, especially when compared to their other song in GH, "Hey Man, Nice Shot"? I mean, this song is the complete fucking opposite of that one in every way! Complete misfire of a song choice. THUMBS DOWN.
"Take Back The City" - Snow Patrol
Yep, I hate Snow Patrol too. Moaning horseshit disguised as Rock that everyone I grew up with fucking loved. I will say this though; I do prefer this song to "Chasing Cars" and that one from the Spider-Man film...although I still dislike this song overall. The chorus is like a worse version of the "I'm not scared" part from "New Way Home" - Foo Fighters although the chart isn't awful. Since Snow Patrol were quite popular and this song is definitely the best one of theirs that I've heard, I'm giving it a reluctant THUMBS UP.
"Take What You Take" - Lily Allen
This song actually surprised me when it was announced for the game. I'm not sure if Lily Allen took off in America but she used to be on the radio all the fucking time in the UK. I heard a lot of her tunes on the radio but never this one. If I did hear this one, I probably would've given her a fairer chance instead of judging her based on the shite that charted instead. It's a fun tune with some decent guitar so THUMBS UP for giving me a reason to enjoy Lily Allen's music, something I never thought any of her songs would do.
"The Adventure" - Angels & Airwaves
Now we have one of those modern Pop Rock songs that's all about having "feeeeeeeeeeeelings". Guitar's pretty dull, mostly just strumming single notes although there's plenty of variety in the note formation. Sadly, the song is kinda meh and the outro goes on way too long. I don't know anything about this band so can't recommend an alternative. However, assuming these guys are the American equivalent of UK bands like Franz Ferdinand and Kaiser Chiefs, it would've been good to get songs by bands like Franz Ferdinand and Kaiser Chiefs in the game. They're fairly popular and have fun guitar charts, which is probably why they ended up on Band Hero DS/Guitar Hero On Tour: Modern Hits instead. Ah well, THUMBS DOWN.
"The Impression That I Get" - The Mighty Mighty Bosstones
Originally, I had no interest in buying Band Hero...until this song was confirmed for the game's setlist, then I knew I had to buy it. It was a track I requested to be in GH way before Band Hero and thankfully, the guitar chart is everything I hoped for and more. Fun chord sequence and a fun Ska Punk tune to listen to. Definitely the best Mighty Mighty Bosstones song they could've picked and whilst some people would probably want other Ska Punk tracks, this is a straight up THUMBS UP from me.
"Turn Off The Light" - Nelly Furtado
I don't know anything about Nelly Furtado, other than the fact that her name sounds like a cruel and archaic way of referring to someone with special needs, but judging by this song I can also infer that Nelly's never heard of the expression "less is more". This song sounds like she was given a list of available musical effects and instruments to use and instead of choosing ones that compliment each other, she just slammed her hand on the clipboard and blurted out "ALLADEM". That being said, I would probably like this song a lot if it wasn't overproduced. It's a nice melody and the guitar chart is pretty fun! THUMBS UP.
"Walking On Sunshine" - Katrina and the Waves
Another chart that's better than its Rock Band counterpart, mostly due to the variety added with brass on guitar. Other than that though, it's totally appropriate for the game. Fun and catchy tune, somewhat entertaining chart and I literally have no idea if Katrina and the Waves have ever recorded another song in the history of their career so "Walking On Sunshine" is the only choice available. THUMBS UP.
"Wannabe" - Spice Girls
Oh boy, THIS one. The one where the women rap "If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends" and "Slam your body down and wind it all around". The "guitar" chart is pretty laughable but this was clearly picked for the vocals, which I can understand. After all, this is one of those songs where people who like it either do so because they genuinely like the tune or they're doing it ironically because it's so cheesy. I'm neither of those people. THUMBS DOWN. There are better Pop songs to sing and play.
"Warwick Avenue" - Duffy
This is another song I could never get into when it came out. I remember the music video of her crying in black and white but I preferred "Mercy" and "Rain On Your Parade". However, this song has more active guitar than I thought it would and the vocals are pretty damn good. I'm glad we got more Soul in this game, even if it is modern Soul. Plus, they could've picked an Amy Winehouse song. That would've been embarrassing. THUMBS UP.
"When I'm Gone" - 3 Doors Down
On the plus side, this is a Rock song with a decent guitar chart. On the downside, it's by that band that played at Trump's inauguration so they're basically on the same respectability level as one of those bands fronted by a paedophile. Then again, when this song was picked, the world didn't know just how cuntish these cunts were so I suppose it's a THUMBS UP that has aged incredibly poorly.
"Whip It" - Devo
There are several Devo songs they could've picked for this game but I'm glad they picked the obvious choice. "Whip It" is a good tune to listen to on occasion and whilst it's not the most fun guitar chart, it's what it needs to be; easy for the start of the game's career mode. In short, I like this song and it's getting a THUMBS UP.
"Y.M.C.A." - Village People
This song is responsible for a funny scene in Wayne's World 2 and a hilarious joke in The Life And Times Of Tim. Other than that, I'm struggling to think of any other benefit to living in a reality where this song exists. It certainly isn't this chart that contains absolutely no guitar despite there being guitar in the song. Sure, it may have that challenging little tap note section throughout but I would taken literally any other 70s Funk/Disco song in its place. Some Bee Gees would've been incredible instead of this...this fucking meme. THUMBS DOWN.
"You Belong With Me" - Taylor Swift
The final song by Taylor Swift-Transition-From-Country-To-Pop-To-Make-More-Money. The lyrics tell a story of a girl singing to a guy she likes about how his girlfriend is wrong for him and that they should be together instead; I have multiple issues with this song. Number 1: Taylor Swift could've had any guy she wanted at school, she was rich and (probably) attractive. Number 2: I don't believe for a second that Taylor would've been the quiet, awkward chick. Taylor Swift was almost certainly the school bitch or at least one of them. 3) "You Belong With Me"? Way to get weirdly possessive about romance, Taylor. If I were a guy in high school, I'd probably want to go out with the girl trying to claim me like a fucking trophy. Once again, it's lowest common denominator pandering. Oh yeah, and the music/guitar chart sucks. THUMBS DOWN.
"You Had Me" - Joss Stone
I hate Joss Stone's voice and, by extension, this song. However, that is one great guitar/clavinet chart. It's also a popular tune so it makes sense to include in this game's setlist AND it's funny to listen to with all the censored lyrics. THUMBS UP.
With that, we reach the end of the setlist and the scores are 35 Thumbs Up to 30 Thumbs Down. Despite being a setlist containing mostly Pop and modern crap, it wins with a 54% approval rating! As for what I've personally gained from revisiting all of the songs/charts, I've learned that whilst there are some good times to be had from trying to FC every song in the game, I've also got a lot of shit to wade through if I want to join the esteemed league of rhythm music gamers who successfully FGFC'd Band Hero about 10 years ago when people gave a shit.
Feel free to join me at twitch.tv/iasg14 to see my suffer through it yourself!
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