Band Hero

What's this? Another blog post and one that breaks the GH - RB - GH - RB pattern of rhythm music game setlist discussions? Yep, I'm looking at the teen friendly Band Hero instead of a Rock Band expansion pack this time, mostly because I plan on going for the Band Hero FGFC on Clone Hero which means revisiting all of the songs/charts in the game. Since I have to listen to all the songs anyway, I figured I might as well write my verdicts here so I don't have to listen to all the mindless, generic Pop this game had to offer for a second time down the line.
If you want to read about Rock music, feel free to catch up on previous Guitar Hero and Rock Band related blog posts!

"A Million Ways" - OK Go
Of all the OK Go songs to pick for the game, I'm not entirely sure why they went with this one. It probably had something to do with releasing their more popular songs like "Here It Goes Again" and "Do What You Want" as Guitar Hero DLC but either way, this is a relatively forgettable song. It's not the worst Pop Rock song to listen to but they probably would've been better off picking one of the aforementioned OK Go songs with the fun charts and recognisable melodies. THUMBS DOWN.

"ABC" - The Jackson 5
Pretty sure I've talked about this song before but basically, I hate it. I hate the idiotic lyrics, the simplistic music and the fact that everyone else seems to fucking love it. The only decent thing about this song is the drum solo but even that's ruined by the toddler screaming "NO! GEDDUP GURL!" so it's another THUMBS DOWN.

"American Pie" - Don McLean
As far as credits songs go, this is a pretty great choice. Fun chart (even if it does have a lot of piano charted to guitar) and totally appropriate for the game, as the inclusion of a handful of radio friendly Rock songs is the only thing that made this game tolerable. I'm glad they included this song in Band Hero rather than an on-disc GH game so it's getting a THUMBS UP although points should be deducted for the embarrassing censorship of "whiskey" in the chorus...you know, if points were a thing in these posts.

"Angels Of The Silences" - Counting Crows
It's not "Accidentally In Love" so it's not immediately getting a Thumbs Up. That being said, it is a decent tune and the guitar chart's not bad. There are a lot of basic guitar charts in this game and I'm not expecting to be wowed, bumping up the average for what I consider a fun chart. I don't know enough about this band to choose a different/better song so I guess I have no choice but to give it a THUMBS UP.

"Back Again" - Parachute
Not gonna lie, I actually kinda like this song. Guitar chart's pretty fun and the melody is enjoyable. I don't like it enough to listen to the song outside of GH but for the purposes of playing it in a rhythm music game, it gets a THUMBS UP.

"Bad Reputation" - Joan Jett
Mostly just chords and strumming but hey, it's not a bad song...at least not until the key change, THEN it's a bad song. It's also not a bad chart...until the key change, then it's a boring chart. Still, you can thank Shrek for making this song popular enough to include on Band Hero and whilst it's not one I play that often, it's not a song I despise listening to or playing so I'm giving it a THUMBS UP. Plus, I can't think of any other Joan Jett songs that'd be better in this game.

"Beautiful Soul" - Jesse McCartney
Ugh, this song is lame. Bland modern Pop for teenage girls, one step above Jonas Brothers and shit like that. However, the chart isn't awful. It's not great either, as many of the acoustic guitar riffs would've been so much better if they had HOPOs instead of strums, but it's not just a series of chords and strumming. Some thought was put into this song choice but that doesn't stop it from getting a THUMBS DOWN.

"Believe" - The Bravery
I like this song quite a bit. Great bass, decent vocal melodies, catchy chorus and some fun guitar too! This is the kind of song I wish there were more of in Band Hero; modern Pop Rock/Alternative that's got some decent guitar. I understand why the setlist was what it was but it's a shame we didn't get more surprisingly awesome tunes like this one. THUMBS UP.

"Black Cat" - Janet Jackson
First off, this song has a bitchin' guitar riff. It's not the most fun to play but damn, it is great to listen to. After that, the chart's pretty basic...until the guitar solo. This song's guitar solo is surprisingly challenging if you're not expecting it, making it another surprisingly fun tune to play! It's also a great choice from the 80s, as it's not quite cheesy enough to make you grow tired of playing it (see "YMCA") but it's not heavy enough to put off this game's target audience. THUMBS UP.

"Black Horse And The Cherry Tree" - KT Tunstall
Before this game, I knew exactly two KT Tunstall songs: this one and "Suddenly I See". I'm glad Band Hero got this song, as it's my personal favourite. Fun guitar and a great lively rhythm. It's definitely a song for vocalists but it helps that there's some solid guitar throughout too, earning it another THUMBS UP.

"Bring Me To Life" - Evanescence
I hate this song. Whiny, affected, pseudo-Rock bollocks. On the one hand, I'm glad this track was included in Band Hero instead of a Guitar Hero game/DLC but on the other, it's a terrible song and I would've been perfectly content had it never disgraced any of the Hero games. Anyway, enough about my personal distaste towards the song; how's the chart? Well, it's basically just chords and strumming with a few sustains...so THUMBS DOWN.

"Dirty Little Secret" - The All-American Rejects
Never been into these guys, although I doubt any of you will be that surprised. These guys are safe Pop Rock for edgy teenage girls so their songs tend to sound the same. That being said, I don't hate this song or chart. It's run-of-the-mill for this game so I guess it belongs here as much as any other All-American Rejects tune. I'm on the fence about this one but I'm going to give them a THUMBS UP because I sort of like the guitar riff. Just a shame it's stapled to this song.

"Do You Really Want To Hurt Me" - Culture Club
80s Pop song? Cool! This particular 80s Pop song? Oh. I guess it's an alright song with a good easy chart for the start of the game's career mode, although I personally would've preferred "Karma Chameleon" or some other 80s New Wave song, as there were plenty with fun guitar. Some Blondie perhaps, maybe "Echo Beach" - Martha And The Muffins? Yeah, now that I think about it, I don't like this song. The chorus is annoying and it forms the majority of the song's melody. THUMBS DOWN.

"Don't Speak" - No Doubt
One of two songs by No Doubt in this game and I have to say, I hate both songs equally! Boring guitar, irritating vocals, just really bland performances by everyone all-round. Fuck No Doubt. THUMBS DOWN.

"Every Rose Has Its Thorn" - Poison
As indifferent as I am to this Country song masquerading as a Hair Metal ballad, the guitar chart's actually pretty fun. Some great HOPO riffs and a short but sweet solo. I would've preferred a Hair Metal power ballad like "Home Sweet Home" - Motley Crue but this song's a good choice, I suppose. Probably more accessible than "Home Sweet Home" too. THUMBS UP.

"Fascination" - Alphabeat
I remember hearing this song's chorus in TV ads a lot which put me off it for a while. However, after listening to the song in full, I actually sort of like it! Catchy melody and some decent guitar (although plenty of awkward strumming too), plus it's upbeat Pop so definitely the perfect music for this game. There are a bunch of other upbeat chart songs I would probably have preferred in this game but I can't think of a good enough reason to give it a Thumbs Down so, by process of elimination, it must earn a THUMBS UP.

"Gasoline" - The Airbourne Toxic Event
Oh boy, I love this song! I especially love the heavy guitar riff and HOPO use in this classic Audioslave so...oh, wait. It's not the song I'm thinking of. It's just a modern Rock song that sort of sounds like a worse version of Tom Petty. This song has some fun guitar parts and awkward guitar parts but it's getting a THUMBS UP for being a moderately challenging guitar chart in comparison to the rest of the game. Plus, it's not just pre-pubescent teenage Pop Rock so it deserves some credit for that.

"Hands Down" - Dashboard Confessional
Aaaaand here's the pre-pubescent teenage Pop Rock. Chart's mostly chord strumming but there are some fun riffs here and there. Unfortunately, most of them would be more fun with HOPOs instead of strum notes but at least they're good riffs to listen to. I know nothing about this band (I don't think I even played this song in Band Hero) so can't comment on what song would be a better choice but since it's a decent Pop Rock tune with a fun chart, it deserves a THUMBS UP.

"Hang Me Up To Dry" - Cold War Kids
THUMBS DOWN to this boring ass, Radiohead-wannabe Indie song with its tedious guitar chart and uninspired music. That's all that needs to be said about this track.

"Happy Together" - The Turtles
This song is popular enough to belong in this game and even though the guitar chart is easy, it contains a fair amount of variety to make it slightly more fun. However, I personally would've preferred more focus on the guitar and less on the annoying brass in the chorus. Still, this is a solid pick for Band Hero. THUMBS UP.

"Honky Tonk Woman" - The Rolling Stones
Bobby Kotick loves his Rolling Stones, huh. Of all their songs to be in Band Hero, this probably has to be one of the more sensible choices. Guitar's OK but nothing special, just like all the other Rolling Stones songs, and it's a relatively well known tune of theirs without being as "heavy" as bigger hits like "Jumpin' Jack Flash" and "Paint It, Black" (which was already in GH3). I'm a little surprised they didn't go for something like "Start Me Up" or "Brown Sugar" but either way, I can't complain about this song's inclusion when the alternative probably wouldn't have been much better. THUMBS UP.

"I Heard It Through The Grapevine" - Marvin Gaye
This game also has plenty of R&B/Soul although, for some reason, they decided to not pick R&B/Soul songs with fun guitar and instead choose ones with strings/brass/keys. We didn't get fun Stevie Wonder songs but we got this one with the sexy bass and annoying trill section on guitar. Still, it's a good tune to listen to...although a horrible song to play so THUMBS DOWN.

"I Want You To Want Me (Live)" - Cheap Trick
Easily one of the best songs in the game. Fun guitar chart and the best version of this song available, since the At Budokan version doesn't sound as good, the In Color original is Bubblegum Pop and the rerecorded studio version doesn't quite pack the same punch. There are some mildly awkward sections but with practise, this song is easy to master and a blast to play. Plus it's one of Cheap Trick's most famous songs that hasn't already been in Guitar Hero so THUMBS UP.

"If You Could Only See" - Tonic
It would've been awesome if this game had a bunch of 90s Alternative Rock songs that crossed into mainstream radio territory, stuff like "Jumper" - Third Eye Blind and "Shine" - Collective Soul. Unfortunately, we got songs like this. Non-threatening 90s Pop Rock with fairly unimpressive guitar for 17 year old girls. That's what happens when a bunch of businessmen in suits thinktank a setlist for a target demographic currently uninterested in rhythm music video games. THUMBS DOWN.

"In A Big Country" - Big Country
Despite being the single edit, this is definitely more fun than the Rock Band 3 chart. It's got some mildly awkward sections but it's still a good chart and a great song to listen to. I don't really know anything else about this band but I'm guessing it's one of their most popular songs, seeing as how they named themselves after it. Regardless of the song/band's origins, it gets a THUMBS UP for sounding different to the average Band Hero song and for being an enjoyable experience to play.

"Just A Girl" - No Doubt
Hey, the circus clowns are back with their Pop Rock cover of the Rugrats theme! I'm sure this was intended to be a sarcastic comment on the perception of women in the media but Gwen Stefani really did a shit job of sounding frustrated at the injustice she faces. In fact, she seems better at singing the borderline slutty girly girl sections more than the "Fuck you and your misogyny" chorus parts. THUMBS DOWN for many reasons including failing to do what artists like Chrissie Hynde (Pretenders) do so fucking brilliantly.

"Kids" - Robbie Williams & Kylie Minogue
Definitely picked for the vocal melody in the chorus but it just so happens that this song has some fairly active guitar too. I suppose I'm glad that we got this song instead of a Robbie Williams song AND a Kylie Minogue one (unless the Robbie Williams one was "A Man For All Seasons") but it's not one I'd want to play often. That being said, it is quite funny listening to Robbie Williams' embarrassing rap in the outro so THUMBS UP for making me chuckle and entertaining me with the guitar chart, I suppose.

"Kung-Fu Fighting" - Carl Douglas
MUCH better than the Lego Rock Band chart, since that version is just chords and strumming. This chart has sections where you play the "DEE-DEE-DEE-DEE-DI-DI-DOO-DOO-DI" bit on tap notes throughout, adding more variety and sparing your strumming wrist from repetitive strain injury. It's also a fun little catchy tune that kids and families probably enjoyed playing together, since it's a universally recognised song. THUMBS UP for being a solid choice and having a tolerable chart.

"L.E.S. Artistes" - Santigold
Boring chart and song. "Say Aha" would've been better in every way. THUMBS DOWN.

"Let's Dance" - David Bowie
Ugh, this song. Boring as fuck in Lego Rock Band and just plain boring in Band Hero, even with the dull brass charted. Seriously, of all the David Bowie songs, this was their best choice? Not "Life On Mars", "Heroes?", "Modern Love", "The Jean Genie", all the other songs I mention when complaining about David Bowie song choices for video games? THUMBS DOWN.

"Lifeline" - Papa Roach
One of the hardest songs in the game although, by any other game's standard, it's pretty fucking easy. Edgy teen Rock with some fun guitar but mostly just strumming when it's not the main riff. I don't know any other better Papa Roach songs but if you want modern Rock with relatively challenging guitar, there's no short supply. Hell, a Foo Fighters song would've done instead of this repetitive shite. THUMBS DOWN.

"Like Whoa" - Aly & AJ
This song's first lyric is "Life is good, I can't complain, I mean I could but no-one's listening". She's complaining about how nobody's listening to her complaining. That should give you an insight into how much I dislike this Disney shit. It just sucks musically, lyrically and from a charting perspective. Aside from one small fast strumming section, it has nothing going for it on guitar. THUMBS DOWN.

"Lips Of An Angel" - Hinder
Modern Hard Pop Rock, just what we were missing! I'm surprised this game didn't have any Creed or Nickelback to go with this song but hey, at least it's not that bland. There's some fun to be had on guitar...like, a tiny minuscule amount. Yet again, it's another song picked to sing along to but at least it's a Rock song instead of more anaemic Pop. THUMBS UP.

"Love Is A Battlefield" - Pat Benatar
Awesome song, great guitar chart (complete with bitchin' solo), totally suitable for this game. One of the best songs in Band Hero and I feel no shame in saying that. THUMBS UP.

"Love Story" - Taylor Swift
The first of three songs by Taylor Swift, an artist who started off with Country Pop before transitioning to just Pop because it made her more money/was easier to sell. This complete crap with dull guitar and cliched lyrics about Romeo & Juliet written by an eleven year-old is a perfect example of a song that deserves a THUMBS DOWN. Can't wait to see what else Taylor has to offer!

"Mr. Roboto" - Styx
Hats off to Activision for getting the original version of this song instead of a rerecording, which is probably why it didn't export to other games. Anyway, I love this song! Guitar chart's OK, nothing fancy but it's exactly what it needed to be for this song. The track itself is probably the best Styx song to choose, since some of their other Pop songs are probably a bit too much on the Prog side like "Come Sail Away" although I think I would've been happy with most popular Styx songs. THUMBS UP.

"Naive" - The Kooks
Hate The Kooks and this song. If it was "Sofa Song" or "She Moves In Her Own Way", MAYBE I would've been less harsh but instead, we got this wank. On the plus side, it's more active guitar than a lot of other songs on this list but sadly, it's all in service of a song I wouldn't listen to even if it drowned out the sound of my parents fucking. THUMBS DOWN.

"Ocean Avenue" - Yellowcard
I've listened to this song a bunch of times and I still can't remember anything about it. It's just generic weeny Pop Punk and certainly no "The Takedown". However, I'm guessing it's also this band's most popular song so it's a logical choice for the game. Plus, aside from all the chord strumming, there are some fun HOPO/tap note sections. Ah, what the hell. THUMBS UP for not being an awful Pop Punk song like "Stacy's Mom" or "Teenage Dirtbag".

"Oh, Pretty Woman" - Roy Orbison
Yeah, I like this song's riff. I prefer it to the one in the Van Halen cover too, although the rest of the song is pretty dull. If I'm being honest, I'm not entirely sure why this song was in the game as I doubt the target audience are that familiar with it to the point that they'd love to play/sing it. Some 60s songs like "Happy Together" that have reached a certain level of cultural acceptance are understandable but Roy Orbison ain't reaching the teens, I'll tell you that much. Plus, I probably would've preferred some other piece of Pop Rock from the 60s. Maybe something by Herman's Hermits or Jefferson Airplane? "Somebody To Love" would've been a great choice for this game. THUMBS DOWN, I'm afraid.

"Our Lips Are Sealed" - The Go-Go's
Meh, I prefer the Fun Boy Three version of this song. Once again, it's serviceable 80s Pop Rock but I would've preferred some Blondie, as something like "Atomic" or "Call Me" probably would've been more enjoyable on guitar. However, personal taste aside, this song is suitable for the game and probably more popular than I'm aware of so THUMBS UP.

"Paralyzer" - Finger Eleven
Whilst I personally prefer the song "Living In A Dream" by this band, this is the bigger single and still has plenty of guitar throughout so it's the better choice for the game. Plus, I think "Living In A Dream" hadn't been released when this game came out so really, it's the only choice by this band. THUMBS UP despite the awkward guitar riff in the verse.

"Picture To Burn" - Taylor Swift
Yee-haw, more Country from the artist we're all supposed to worship for some reason. However, of all the Taylor Swift songs to pick for the game, this is probably the best since "Shake It Off" hadn't been released yet. It's actually got some fun guitar, complete with banjo licks and a sweet solo. If you want a fun guitar chart and can tune out the terrible lyrics (seriously, they're fucking awful), you'll get some joy out of this. THUMBS UP.

"Pictures Of You" - The Last Goodnight
What is this shit and why did they censor "gun" in the lyrics? Don't want to toddlers playing this game to know weapons exist? THUMBS DOWN.

"Put Your Records On" - Corinne Bailey Rae
I fucking hate this song. I remember hearing it on the radio all the fucking time growing up and hating every second of it. This was clearly another song picked for the purpose of singing along with friends in your bedroom after school, hence the dull guitar chart and the THUMBS DOWN I'm giving it.

"Rio" - Duran Duran
There are exactly two songs by Duran Duran that I like and since Guitar Hero 5 got the other one, I'm glad Band Hero got this one. It's also much more fun than the Rock Band chart, which was simultaneously boring AND awkward on guitar. Granted there's brass charted with tap notes here but I'm OK with that. I'm also OK with this particular 80s Pop song being in the game so THUMBS UP.

"Rock Star" - N.E.R.D.
I would genuinely have preferred the Nickelback song "Rock Star" over this trash performed by more Hip Hop cunts who don't understand what the term "Rock Star" means. THUMBS DOWN.

"Santa Monica" - Everclear
This bland Surf Rock song means absolutely nothing to me and the fact that it exists annoys me, as it meant a potentially better 90s/00s Alternative Rock song lost a place on this game's setlist. There are some decent HOPO sections that last precisely half a second each and the rest of the song consists of chords and sustains. Boring track and chart. THUMBS DOWN.

"She Will Be Loved" - Maroon 5
Hey hey, it's the other circus clown that was playable in the game, Adam Levine! It'll come as no surprise to you that I fucking hate Maroon 5 on account of having working ears connected to a functioning brain so we all know the verdict I'm going to give this generic Pop shite...but let's spend some time dicking on the track a little more, shall we? Dull 4/4 strumming, uninspired vocal melodies (anyone else hear touches of early 00s Red Hot Chili Peppers in the chorus?), absolutely no backbone from any of the band members playing on this garbage excuse for a soulful song, an appalling lack of variety in the chart due to the simplistic nature of the song and even though vocalists will probably have a blast wailing along to Patch Adam, it's getting an almighty THUMBS DOWN from me.

"So Yesterday" - Hilary Duff
Remember Hilary Duff? You do? Why? Anyway, she has a song with a name almost as annoying as the thought of Hilary Duff. Unsurprisingly, the guitar chart is dull and repetitive and the songis even worse than I thought a song called "So Yesterday" would be. THUMBS DOWN.

"Steal My Kisses" - Ben Harper & The Innocent Criminals
Jesus, we're fully into the shit now, aren't we? More generic chord strumming to a funky rhythm in a sorry excuse for a 90s Surf Rock tune. Serious question, how did Activision fuck up the setlist this badly? Harmonix had the right idea with Lego Rock Band but Activision clearly had no clue, almost as if the setlist was picked by about eight cynical businessmen with a collective age of 430 years after a few hours Googling "What do youngsters listen to?" or asking a single intern what was on their iPod. THUMBS DOWN.

"Sugar, We're Going' Down" - Fall Out Boy
....I mean, I can't fault the inclusion of Fall Out Boy in Band Hero, as much as I dislike their pipsqueak brand of "Rock". What I am confused about is why they also appeared in Guitar Hero Warriors Of Rock, since I thought this game served an unintended purpose of attracting terrible Pop Rock songs away from GH like a black hole for non-edgy teen music? Anyway, the guitar chart is average. Chords, strumming, a decent HOPO outro and some relatively challenging rhythms for those unfamiliar with the game but otherwise, just a dull experience in comparison to some of their other songs like "Thnks Fr Th Mmrs" or "Dead On Arrival". THUMBS DOWN.

"Take A Picture" - Filter
This song is only six minutes long but my God, it felt like double that when I played it in Band Hero. Anyway, what can I say about the chart? How about "hope you like chord strumming, kids!" as that's all this song is...for six minutes. In what world could someone find this an objectively enjoyable experience on guitar, especially when compared to their other song in GH, "Hey Man, Nice Shot"? I mean, this song is the complete fucking opposite of that one in every way! Complete misfire of a song choice. THUMBS DOWN.

"Take Back The City" - Snow Patrol
Yep, I hate Snow Patrol too. Moaning horseshit disguised as Rock that everyone I grew up with fucking loved. I will say this though; I do prefer this song to "Chasing Cars" and that one from the Spider-Man film...although I still dislike this song overall. The chorus is like a worse version of the "I'm not scared" part from "New Way Home" - Foo Fighters although the chart isn't awful. Since Snow Patrol were quite popular and this song is definitely the best one of theirs that I've heard, I'm giving it a reluctant THUMBS UP.

"Take What You Take" - Lily Allen
This song actually surprised me when it was announced for the game. I'm not sure if Lily Allen took off in America but she used to be on the radio all the fucking time in the UK. I heard a lot of her tunes on the radio but never this one. If I did hear this one, I probably would've given her a fairer chance instead of judging her based on the shite that charted instead. It's a fun tune with some decent guitar so THUMBS UP for giving me a reason to enjoy Lily Allen's music, something I never thought any of her songs would do.

"The Adventure" - Angels & Airwaves
Now we have one of those modern Pop Rock songs that's all about having "feeeeeeeeeeeelings". Guitar's pretty dull, mostly just strumming single notes although there's plenty of variety in the note formation. Sadly, the song is kinda meh and the outro goes on way too long. I don't know anything about this band so can't recommend an alternative. However, assuming these guys are the American equivalent of UK bands like Franz Ferdinand and Kaiser Chiefs, it would've been good to get songs by bands like Franz Ferdinand and Kaiser Chiefs in the game. They're fairly popular and have fun guitar charts, which is probably why they ended up on Band Hero DS/Guitar Hero On Tour: Modern Hits instead. Ah well, THUMBS DOWN.

"The Impression That I Get" - The Mighty Mighty Bosstones
Originally, I had no interest in buying Band Hero...until this song was confirmed for the game's setlist, then I knew I had to buy it. It was a track I requested to be in GH way before Band Hero and thankfully, the guitar chart is everything I hoped for and more. Fun chord sequence and a fun Ska Punk tune to listen to. Definitely the best Mighty Mighty Bosstones song they could've picked and whilst some people would probably want other Ska Punk tracks, this is a straight up THUMBS UP from me.

"Turn Off The Light" - Nelly Furtado
I don't know anything about Nelly Furtado, other than the fact that her name sounds like a cruel and archaic way of referring to someone with special needs, but judging by this song I can also infer that Nelly's never heard of the expression "less is more". This song sounds like she was given a list of available musical effects and instruments to use and instead of choosing ones that compliment each other, she just slammed her hand on the clipboard and blurted out "ALLADEM". That being said, I would probably like this song a lot if it wasn't overproduced. It's a nice melody and the guitar chart is pretty fun! THUMBS UP.

"Walking On Sunshine" - Katrina and the Waves
Another chart that's better than its Rock Band counterpart, mostly due to the variety added with brass on guitar. Other than that though, it's totally appropriate for the game. Fun and catchy tune, somewhat entertaining chart and I literally have no idea if Katrina and the Waves have ever recorded another song in the history of their career so "Walking On Sunshine" is the only choice available. THUMBS UP.

"Wannabe" - Spice Girls
Oh boy, THIS one. The one where the women rap "If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends" and "Slam your body down and wind it all around". The "guitar" chart is pretty laughable but this was clearly picked for the vocals, which I can understand. After all, this is one of those songs where people who like it either do so because they genuinely like the tune or they're doing it ironically because it's so cheesy. I'm neither of those people. THUMBS DOWN. There are better Pop songs to sing and play.

"Warwick Avenue" - Duffy
This is another song I could never get into when it came out. I remember the music video of her crying in black and white but I preferred "Mercy" and "Rain On Your Parade". However, this song has more active guitar than I thought it would and the vocals are pretty damn good. I'm glad we got more Soul in this game, even if it is modern Soul. Plus, they could've picked an Amy Winehouse song. That would've been embarrassing. THUMBS UP.

"When I'm Gone" - 3 Doors Down
On the plus side, this is a Rock song with a decent guitar chart. On the downside, it's by that band that played at Trump's inauguration so they're basically on the same respectability level as one of those bands fronted by a paedophile. Then again, when this song was picked, the world didn't know just how cuntish these cunts were so I suppose it's a THUMBS UP that has aged incredibly poorly.

"Whip It" - Devo
There are several Devo songs they could've picked for this game but I'm glad they picked the obvious choice. "Whip It" is a good tune to listen to on occasion and whilst it's not the most fun guitar chart, it's what it needs to be; easy for the start of the game's career mode. In short, I like this song and it's getting a THUMBS UP.

"Y.M.C.A." - Village People
This song is responsible for a funny scene in Wayne's World 2 and a hilarious joke in The Life And Times Of Tim. Other than that, I'm struggling to think of any other benefit to living in a reality where this song exists. It certainly isn't this chart that contains absolutely no guitar despite there being guitar in the song. Sure, it may have that challenging little tap note section throughout but I would taken literally any other 70s Funk/Disco song in its place. Some Bee Gees would've been incredible instead of this...this fucking meme. THUMBS DOWN.

"You Belong With Me" - Taylor Swift
The final song by Taylor Swift-Transition-From-Country-To-Pop-To-Make-More-Money. The lyrics tell a story of a girl singing to a guy she likes about how his girlfriend is wrong for him and that they should be together instead; I have multiple issues with this song. Number 1: Taylor Swift could've had any guy she wanted at school, she was rich and (probably) attractive. Number 2: I don't believe for a second that Taylor would've been the quiet, awkward chick. Taylor Swift was almost certainly the school bitch or at least one of them. 3) "You Belong With Me"? Way to get weirdly possessive about romance, Taylor. If I were a guy in high school, I'd probably want to go out with the girl trying to claim me like a fucking trophy. Once again, it's lowest common denominator pandering. Oh yeah, and the music/guitar chart sucks. THUMBS DOWN.

"You Had Me" - Joss Stone
I hate Joss Stone's voice and, by extension, this song. However, that is one great guitar/clavinet chart. It's also a popular tune so it makes sense to include in this game's setlist AND it's funny to listen to with all the censored lyrics. THUMBS UP.


With that, we reach the end of the setlist and the scores are 35 Thumbs Up to 30 Thumbs Down. Despite being a setlist containing mostly Pop and modern crap, it wins with a 54% approval rating! As for what I've personally gained from revisiting all of the songs/charts, I've learned that whilst there are some good times to be had from trying to FC every song in the game, I've also got a lot of shit to wade through if I want to join the esteemed league of rhythm music gamers who successfully FGFC'd Band Hero about 10 years ago when people gave a shit.
Feel free to join me at twitch.tv/iasg14 to see my suffer through it yourself!

The RARRAMAMSPAs 2019

It was a smashing success last year so I'm bringing it back again, it is....
The Riffs And Raffs Rock And Metal (And Maybe Some Pop) Awards!

Since this is the second time I'm doing this, there'll be similarities and differences between the RARRAMAMSPAs from 2018. Namely, the award categories will contain a blend of old and new, as some categories may not apply as effectively to the last year's music. Once again, I feel it's necessary to remind you that these awards aren't meant to be taken seriously (just like every single awards show in the history of awards shows, yada yada yada) and that my opinion on albums I rate highly in this post might change throughout the course of the year.
With that in mind, let's celebrate a slight improvement over 2017's musical banquet!


The "Boston Zeppelin Through The Night" Award for
BEST ROCK ALBUM
The album I valued the most that belonged to the Rock genre, including various subgenres such as Southern Rock, Hard Rock and Shoegazing. It does NOT include Metal, Pop and their subgenres.
And the nominees are...
Prequelle - Ghost
Living The Dream - Slash, feat. Myles Kennedy & The Conspirators
Used Future - The Sword
Living The Dream - Uriah Heep

And the winner is...

Prequelle - Ghost for being the single greatest album I've listened to in a long, long time. Some may call this a Metal album but to me, it rides the line between Rock and Metal in a way that can include the better aspects of both genres...hence, it counts!


The "Screaming For Powerslave In Peace" Award for
BEST METAL ALBUM
The album I valued the most that belonged to the Metal genre, including various subgenres such as Hair Metal and that's about it. It does NOT include Rock, Pop and their subgenres.
And the nominees are...
Firepower - Judas Priest
Thunderbolt - Saxon
The Sacrament Of Sin - Powerwolf
Used Future - The Sword

And the winner is...

Prequelle - Ghost for being the SINGLE GREATEST ALBUM I've listened to in a long, long time that contains aspects of Rock AND Metal so fuck you, it wins this one as well. Go listen to Prequelle and tell me I'm wrong. If I had to pick one from the list above to win, I guess it'd be The Sacrament Of Sin - Powerwolf for being a very close runner-up though.


The "Sgt. Pepper's Thriller Sounds" Award for
BEST POP ALBUM
The album I valued the most that belonged to the Pop genre. Pop albums may contain songs with a Rock twist or be recorded by Rock bands so long as it's very clearly a Pop album.
And the nominees are...
Simulation Theory - Muse
Attention Attention - Shinedown
Some Generic Noise - A Sexy Glistening Womanhole
Breathy Acoustic Moaning - A Sexy Pouty Manboy

And the winner is...

Well it's fucking Prequelle - Ghost, isn't it? Who cares about Pop albums on this blog, fact of the matter is Prequelle was the best album of the year. It was so good that an album traversing three different musical genres deserves three separate awards for doing them so perfectly. Out of the albums on the list above, I guess Attention Attention - Shinedown is the best although it really stretches the definition of Pop. Then again, so does Prequelle so feel free to give your own personal award to whichever you think deserves it the most although if it's not Prequelle, I'll be very disappointed.


The "Generation Lulu Or Bust" Award for
MOST PATHETIC ALBUM
The album that could've been decent (or maybe even great) if the band got their shit together and one or more members didn't absolutely phone it in. It's anyone's game in the genre department and once again, you're in the wrong part of the Internet if you want to read about Pop.
And the nominees are...
Simulation Theory - Muse
Post-Apocalypto - Tenacious D
Anthem Of The Peaceful Army - Greta Van Fleet
The Music Made Me Do It - Ted Nugent

And the winner is...

Post-Apocalypto - Tenacious D, hands down. Greta Van Fleet have only released EPs so a disappointing first album isn't quite as pathetic as a fourth record by a band who very clearly rushed the songwriting process to whack something out before the end of the year. The same can be said for Muse, a band familiar with releasing poor albums, and Ted Nugent, an artist who hasn't fallen from the mountain of grace so much as tumbled off a footstool. Mind you, Ted Nugent was very close to winning this one if not for Tenacious D's utter failure.


The "Tyranny And Caress Of Miracles" Award for
MOST UNDERRATED ALBUM OF LAST YEAR
The album from 2017 that deserved some love in last year's RARRAMAMSPAs but took me an entire year to realise it. Rock and Metal albums only in this post, as I don't think any Pop albums are underrated (especially not modern ones).
And the nominees are...
The Mission - Styx
About Time - Horisont
The Knight Of Rebellion - Dream Troll
From The Fires - Greta Van Fleet

And the winner is...

About Time - Horisont. Maybe if Anthem Of The Peaceful Army wasn't so mediocre, From The Fires would've taken this win. However, an album that immediately grabbed me and encouraged me to check out more of the band is definitely one that should've been featured in last year's blog post...although it still probably would've lost to Pinewood Smile - The Darkness.


Now onto the awards for musical moments!


The "Planet Classic Blabbermouth" Award for
BEST NEWS STORY
This award goes to the news story that I'm most proud of bringing to you. The story that I think has the best details and most imaginative series of events that totally happened.
And the nominees are...
Bruce Springsteen Finishes 148 Hour Concert
Kirk Hammett To Face Pedal Abuse Charges
Led Zeppelin Are Not Touring Or Recording New Music
K.K. Downing "Still Upset" Over Starbucks Argument

And the winner is...

Led Zeppelin Are Not Touring Or Recording New Music. I like all of these articles but every time I see a tweet about Jimmy Page's new interview or something like that, I'm always reminded of this universal, evergreen article. The Bruce Springsteen one is a close second, mind.


The "Number Of Flames With Rock Of The Night" Award for
BEST RIFF
This award goes to the song with the most awesome riff played on guitar in 2018. Any songs from the Rock, Metal and Pop genre are eligible although let's face it, Pop ain't winning no riff competition. As for which riffs I'm counting (as many great Rock songs feature at least 3 distinguishable riffs), I'm mostly looking for riffs that carry the song's main melody rather than decent ones used sporadically throughout the track
And the nominees are...
"Firepower" - Judas Priest
"Dance Macabre" - Ghost
"Fire And Forgive" - Powerwolf
"Rats" - Ghost

And the winner is...

"Rats" - Ghost. They are REALLY cleaning up tonight, huh.


And finally


The "Master Of Sex Magik...But Who's Buying" Award for
PEOPLE'S FAVOURITE BLOG POST
This award goes to the Riffs And Raffs blog post written/posted in 2018 that had the most views, even if it wasn't my personal favourite or even best piece of writing. Yes, this award might be a little self-congratulatory but fuck it, this is my BBQ so I get to choose the meat.

And the winner is...

Rapid Fire: Motorhead, David Bowie, Tom Petty with 3097 views!
Again, most (if not all) of these are probably bot/spam so if I had to guess, the post with the most actual views is probably this one after I asked people to read it on Twitter. Anyway, numbers!!


Before I finish up, I just wanted to say a few final words regarding blog post plans for the upcoming year.
Over the last couple of years, I set myself the challenge of writing at least one blog post a week (or an equivalent average) to keep my mind focused and my writing talents alive. However, fans of this blog will probably know that most of the blog posts I submitted in 2018 were all done in the last week of the month, hastily typed up just to meet the quota for the year. This was mostly because I was busy with other commitments but I also think it's because I didn't really have a lot to write about towards the end of the year, particularly when Rock/Metal news stories died down and album releases weren't as common.
As a result, I've decided to reduce the amount I'll be posting on this blog.

Don't worry, I'M NOT STOPPING!

I still intend to post album reviews, periodic Here Is The News satire pieces and everything else I usually write. I just won't be posting them as often. There are two main reasons for my decision:
Firstly, whilst I still enjoy writing certain blog posts, I felt that rushing out four posts in a week because I'd left it so late due to lack of inspiration throughout the month didn't result in quality writing. Sure, some of the posts were great but towards the end of the year, I felt like I was scraping the barrel a little. I'd rather write a blog post that I'm proud of after a brilliant idea comes to me than whack out filler posts for the sake of it.
Secondly, people close to me know that I want to get into screenwriting as a profession and I've always told myself that until I can actually get my shit together, writing blog posts helps me improve and keeps me actively doing the thing I want to do for a living. Unfortunately, after some introspection, I feel like I've been using that as an excuse to not pursue my dream. I've set myself the goal of actually writing and submitting a proper script this year (which is coming along nicely, by the way) so I'd rather dedicate my writing energy to that over a series of blog posts about which songs I like in Guitar Hero/Rock Band games.
As I said up above, I WILL STILL BE SUBMITTING BLOG POSTS THROUGHOUT THE YEAR although I'm not going to put a number on exactly how many I intend to write or when I intend to write them. In the meantime, if you want to hear me casually talk about music you can always follow me on Twitter (where I'll be sharing new blog posts) OR check out my Twitch streams where I play Clone Hero and other video games, frequently discussing music and other topics.

Well then, now that that's out of the way, let's try to enjoy 2019 before it's too late!

Simulation Theory - Muse

Well this is a first. I'm reviewing a straight-up Pop album!

If there's one thing Muse can do with their music, it's conjure feelings of nostalgia and thoughts about how good music used to be; thoughts like "Remember when Muse used to be a Rock band?" and "Remember when Matt Bellamy's ego was in check?". Simulation Theory is the tragic return to everything that sucks about Muse after the promising dead cat bounce that was Drones. Instead of great riffs on guitar/bass, we get synth-driven toss. Instead of dynamic anthems perfect for arena gigs and radio play for an audience of hungry young Rock fans, we get electronic drumbeats and noise made on some coffee-stained hipster shit's laptop.
Looking at the positives first, album opener "Algorithm" has some decent instrumentation and kicks things off in typical grand fashion for Muse. The electronic sound of the drums, bass and string accompaniments set the tone for the rest of the album too so if you like the song, you'll probably get some joy out of the record. However, for fans who can still remember when Muse wrote songs like "Hysteria", "Supermassive Black Hole" and "Knights Of Cydonia" that actually rocked, this harbinger of the band's switch back to electronic garbage teased in The Resistance and actualised in The 2nd Law won't fill you with any hope.
That's probably the biggest flaw with the album. You can argue that Muse not writing Rock songs is good or bad and that their reliance on 80s nostalgia (right down to the album cover that's more on-the-nose than an army of blackheads) helps or hinders the record but even if you choose the pessimistic route with both of those opinions, you must accept both of these things can work if the music is good and serves a decent purpose. The music and lyrics about hope and fighting back against arseholes in power are supposed to be inspiring for the millions unhappy with the current system but here's the kicker; they fuckin' ain't. A stadium Rock band releasing mainstream Pop is as inspirational as a series of flatlines in a coma ward.

The majority of tracks either resemble a dystopian Sci-Fi's cynical pastiche of what "future music" should sound like or the incidental score of a film/TV show desperate to remind people that 1980s synth music existed. However, there are some positive aspects. "Pressure" is the token fun song with catchy guitar riffs and vocal melodies, much like "Panic Station" on The 2nd Law (which was also the third track on that album too; totally not coordinated at all) and even some of the mediocre or annoying tracks contain elements that could've worked if used properly, like the gritty slide guitar riffs in the laughable Herbie Hancock nightmare "Propaganda".
Muse have acknowledged that this album was heavily inspired by music from the 80s so the Depeche Mode drumbeats ("Blockades") and John Carpenter synth ("The Void") are present without any attempt to mask them. It's admirable that Muse at least attempted to make the material sound unique to them instead of just flat-out copying another band's style but they would've been better off continuing in the direction they were headed with Drones or, at the very least, blending the 80s Pop aspects with heavier Rock ones. Instead, they end up sounding like Coldplay ("Thought Contagion") and Indie Pop bands found exclusively on the iPhone of an Instagram celebrity ("Something Human").
I rate the album 2/10. It doesn't inspire you to rise up against fascism (and if it does, where the fuck have you been for the last two years?!), it contains a collection of music that fails to stick with you unless you love electronic Pop, it sounds like Matt Bellamy regurgitating the same old lyrical shit he's been peddling for over a decade and it does 80s Pop music a disservice by dissecting it for the sole purpose of stapling the still-twitching parts to modern wank like a Frankenstein's monster you actually want to be burnt alive. Regardless of which way you shake it, Simulation Theory is a complete failure.

Showdown: Homages/Rip Offs 6 - Video Game edition Level 2

Is the title confusing enough for you?
Basically, two years ago I wrote a blog post looking at similarities between 10 Rock/Metal songs and 10 video game tunes whilst offering my opinion on whether the latter piece of music was a knowing wink to the original, a surreptitious copy of an existing track or a pure coincidence. Well, I'm doing another one! I'll also be giving my verdict on which song I believe is better based on personal taste, which came first and which tune sounds more appropriate for its medium.
Listed in each round will be the band and video game franchise, followed by the specific song and level or piece of music from aforementioned video game. I'll try to mention the game and (if I can find the information online) composer for said piece of music. There won't be a Spotify playlist for this as most of the video game tunes won't be available but I will include links to the video game music for you to listen to, if you want to compare as you read.
Time for another brawl!

ROUND ONE: Mega Man vs. Ghost
Dr. Wily's Castle - The theme from the final level of Mega Man 2 (released 1988) was composed by Takashi Tateishi and is considered one of gaming's most iconic themes. It's been remixed countless times by YouTubers and professional video game composers and is a pretty damn awesome piece of a music from a game full of great tunes. The galloping rhythm and melody played throughout is the focus here. Remember how it sounds, although anyone who's heard this tune probably doesn't need to try too hard to recall the melody.
Miasma - This is easily my favourite song off the most recent Ghost album, Prequelle. It's an instrumental featuring heavy riffs, synth melodies and a saxophone solo. However, after the percussion kicks in, we get treated to a guitar solo followed by the synth one. After the synth solo, we get a second guitar solo that contains a galloping riff incredibly similar to the main melody from Dr. Wily's Castle. There are subtle differences but the overwhelming similarities are undeniable. However, it's still an incredible song from what will almost certainly be the best album of the year.
VERDICT - Considering it's one small part of a great song and Ghost don't strike me as a band wanting to cater to old school gamers, I don't think they intentionally copied the theme from Mega Man 2 or intended it as a homage. It's almost certainly coincidence so the question now is which tune do I think is better? It's a hard choice but I'm gonna give the win to Ghost due to the quality of the instrumentation. Full band will always beat 8-bit and that's a fact.

ROUND TWO: Black Sabbath vs. Spider-Man
The Mob Rules - There were two Black Sabbath songs I could've chosen for this blog post but in the end, I went with this one. It's the title track off the band's second album with Ronnie James Dio as the vocalist, notable for its great guitar riff played throughout the song. However, unlike previous entries, we're not just focusing on specific part of the original track here. We're focusing on the riff, the percussion, the pre-chorus melody and the guitar solo.
Boss Theme 3 - This is the third Boss Theme from Spider-Man and Venom: Maximum Carnage for the SNES, released in 1994. Composers Chris Jojo and Tony Williams must've been big fans of 80s Heavy Metal as the comparisons to this tune and the Black Sabbath one stack up more than quite possibly any other example in these video game posts. Quite possibly most shocking of all is that the game doesn't even credit Black Sabbath for pinching their song, although I suppose it's a lot easier to deny plagiarism if you don't own up to it.
VERDICT - Absolutely a rip-off. Not just a rip-off but one done as a shitty MIDI file. The win goes to Black Sabbath for creating the song, making it sound awesome and for not getting due credit...although if it were a fist fight, Spider-Man would definitely win.

ROUND THREE: Surfaris vs. Spongebob Squarepants
Wipe Out - A classic Surf Rock tune with an iconic guitar riff and 12-bar Blues structure. It's also notable for the rolling drumbeat in between the riffs...and the vocal introduction of manic laughter followed by the words "wipe out", although we don't need to worry about that here. If the name of the song or band wasn't a dead giveaway, the sound should immediately make you think of surfing and having fun on the beach. It's a summer hit and the fact that it's mostly instrumental means it's easy to rework for video games.
Goo Lagoon - The beach level from Spongebob Squarepants: Battle For Bikini Bottom, a 3D platformer with music composed by Jimmy Levine. As I mentioned before, it's easy to be inspired by instrumental Surf Rock when writing video game music set on a beach where people surf (and presumably rock) so it's no real surprise that there are elements of "Wipe Out" here. Whilst it's not the most overt homage, the signs are definitely there.
VERDICT - I mean, I've already told you, haven't I? It's clearly a homage as none of the main riffs are directly lifted and the Blues chord progression is so damn common that it would be ridiculous to accuse Jimmy Levine of stealing the idea from "Wipe Out". That being said, I'm giving the win to Surfaris. I'd rather listen to "Wipe Out" than the Goo Lagoon level music, although I don't dislike it. The game actually has a colourful collection of fun tunes to listen to.

ROUND FOUR: Duran Duran vs. Double Dragon
Girls On Film - One of Duran Duran's biggest hits with a catchy chorus and, more importantly, intro riff. The guitar chords and their progression are key here, as that's what we'll be comparing. It's not a favourite of mine, even as far as 80s Pop Rock goes, but I don't hate the song. It's passable but it's no "Hungry Like The Wolf" or "Rio", that's for damn sure.
Intro Theme - The intro to Battletoads & Double Dragon for the SNES contains a similar sounding guitar riff despite being released in 1992, about 11 years after the Duran Duran single. Composer David Wise has acknowledged similarities to other 80s Pop Rock in his compositions (such as using the same equipment as "In The Air Tonight" - Phil Collins during a level from Donkey Kong Country 2, I believe) so this riff might be a little more than coincidence.
VERDICT - I think there may have been a cheeky bit of intentional or unintentional riff pinching going on, as this game seems to have very little to do with "Girls On Film" - Duran Duran so I can't see it being a homage or pure coincidence. Whilst the original song did come up with the riff over a decade before the game, I'm giving the win to Double Dragon as I prefer the heavier sound to it. If it was rerecorded with modern instruments, it'd definitely be the better tune.

ROUND FIVE: Alice In Chains vs. Doom
Them Bones - I've never been a big fan of Alice In Chains and the few songs of theirs that I generally enjoy listening to tend to need some form of modification (e.g. speeding up "Man In The Box" 25%) but I still know and admire aspects of this song. The guitar riff is heavy and evil, slowly ascending before plummeting back down again. It's the main riff and chorus that we're paying attention to for this comparison.
Bye Bye American Pie - Despite having spookier accompanying instruments and a less polished sound than the full band sound of Alice In Chains, the chords are seemingly identical in this piece of music from Doom 2 released just two years after "Them Bones". Composer Robert Prince didn't even credit Alice In Chains for this song either, another reason why I believe this is less of a homage and more of the other one.
VERDICT - This is another song that I reckon was a bit of a rip-off considering how similar it is without even crediting the original songwriters. However, if I had to choose which one I think fits its chosen medium better (90s Grunge vs. spooky song in FPS), I prefer the quality of the video game song. It sounds grittier and doesn't contain annoying vocals so the win goes to Doom.

ROUND SIX: Tina Turner vs. Super Smash Bros
Nutbush City Limits (The 90s Version) - Most people probably know the punchier version of this song from the 70s but in 1991, Tina Turner rerecorded this track with a slower tempo and a heavier emphasis on piano. The opening piano chords followed by the Dance Pop synthetic percussion and musical effects might sound familiar to Nintendo fans, as we'll discuss in a moment, but they also turn this song firmly into a Pop track. I debated including it here due to it not being a Rock song but hey, when you hear what I'm comparing it to, you'll understand why it needed talking about.
Targets! - Yep, the Target Smash song from Super Smash Bros. Melee sounds JUST like the 90s version of "Nutbush City Limits", what with the identical piano chords and synth accompaniments. Granted this tune is a little faster and has more guitar in it but it's pretty damn similar all the same. As the tracks progress, more differences emerge but the opening does all the damage necessary in my eyes.
VERDICT - I doubt composer Hirokazu Ando listened to Tina Turner before whacking out this tune so I'm chalking it up to coincidence rather than homage or rip-off. As for which song is better, I'm giving the win to Super Smash Bros simply because I have fond memories of Target Smash (and the Home Run Contest) thanks to this tune. Since it's a coincidence, I have no need to award Tina Turner the win for coming up with the song first and since it's a Dance Pop song instead of a Rock one, I'm not overly fond of the track itself. An easy decision.

ROUND SEVEN: Glenn Frey vs. P.O.W. - Prisoners Of War
The Heat Is On - The classic 80s Pop Rock tune with the saxophone riff and the awesome chorus, notable for its use in Beverly Hills Cop. However, since then it's earned the right to stand up on its own feet via radio play and use in other media. It might not be the most badass 80s Pop Rock song in existence but it doesn't need to be. It's fast, it's catchy and it's got a consistent rhythm that's perfect for car chases and whatever kind of antics you're bound to get into listening to this song.
Boss Battle 2 - Let's face it; not many readers here will know the game P.O.W. - Prisoners Of War on the NES from 1988 (a popular year in this blog post) but some gamers online have made the connection between the Glenn Frey single and a particular melody from the second boss battle theme in this game. It might not be the main focus of the tune but when it crops up, you know damn well that it was lifted from "The Heat Is On". I'm not sure which composer out of Kazuhiro Nishida, Toshikazu Tanaka and Yoko Osaka decided to borrow this melody but the deed has been done.
VERDICT - Definitely Glenn Frey. Whilst the tune in P.O.W. - Prisoners Of War is cute, it doesn't hold a candle to the 80s classic.

ROUND EIGHT: Pink Floyd vs. Rayman
Shine On You Crazy Diamond - This is a long-ass song that has multiple different musical sections but this Prog Rock epic by overrated Prog Rock outfit Pink Floyd contains a slow, four note guitar riff around the four minute mark. It also contains plenty of moody, atmospheric background noise that you usually hear during ambient sections in video games...but it's mostly the four guitar notes we're interested in.
The Bayou - Along with being one of the best 3D platformers in existence, Rayman 2: The Great Escape also contains a level with a long piece of music featuring moody, atmospheric background noise and four guitar notes played in a similar fashion. Composer Eric Chevalier has supposedly been inspired by other bands in his work before but I wouldn't be surprised if Pink Floyd was on that list too.
VERDICT - I don't think this was a rip-off or a homage, as the two pieces of music stand apart more than they stand together. However, I do think it's likely that Eric Chevalier was unintentionally inspired by Pink Floyd and composed a piece of music containing a similar riff. I'm giving the win to Rayman for creating a) the better assortment of creepy music and b) the shorter song.

ROUND NINE: Crash Bandicoot vs. Rob Zombie
The Eel Deal (Hidden) - In Crash Bandicoot 2: Cortex Strikes Back, there are hidden sections in the sewer levels (The Eel Deal, Sewer Or Later and Hangin' Out) that have a thick, heavy bass riffing and percussion effects that sound a little like a clanging piano, not to mention the Techno sound of musical accompaniments. The comparison I'm going to make with the Industrial sound of this tune composed by Mutato Muzika might be a little bit forced but try to stick with me.
Never Gonna Stop (The Red Red Kroovy) - Rob Zombie is known for heavy Industrial music but the section that plays when Rob starts singing reminded me of the music from Crash Bandicoot, particularly the piano melody. As I said before, it's not quite as clear-cut as previous comparisons I've made and whilst there isn't a specific riff or melody that's been copied, it's more about the general sound of the song in comparison to the music from Crash Bandicoot.
VERDICT - Neither a homage or rip-off, absolutely a coincidence. Rob Zombie might be aware of Crash Bandicoot in some way or another but his song sounds closer to his own style of music than a hidden tune from a 90s video game. I'm gonna give the win to Rob Zombie for this one as I prefer his song to this specific tune from Crash Bandicoot 2: Cortex Strikes Back, although on the whole I definitely prefer the music in Crash to the music on a Rob Zombie album.

ROUND TEN: Friendship vs. Mario
Let's Not Talk About It - This little known track from 1979 contains a piano riff that fans of gaming (or just anyone who's been alive within the last 20 years) will almost certainly recognise straight away. There's nothing else you need to know, just that this contains a series of notes played in a curiously specific way that sounds exactly like...
Underground Theme - ...the Underground Theme from Super Mario Bros! Video game legend Koji Kondo composed the classic melody which has stuck with the Mario series ever since it was first released in 1985. However, even though it contains a different string of notes after the initial six, the tune is identical and it's enough for me to raise an eyebrow at the very least.
VERDICT - There's no way Nintendo intended the Underground Theme to be a homage to a 70s band nobody heard of and whilst most people would consider it a coincidence, I also think there's a small possibility that Koji could've heard "Let's Not Talk About It" in passing and figured it was the perfect match for the game he was working on. That being said, I'm awarding the win to Mario as the Underground Theme has become one of Nintendo's iconic tunes and even if it was pinched from a lesser known Rock song, Nintendo certainly used the track in the better way.


COMING SOON (as in, within a month or so): A series of posts about the music from Spyro The Dragon and the Spyro: Reignited Trilogy, similar to ones I wrote about the Crash Bandicoot: N. Sane Trilogy last year.

Showdown: Cover Versions, part 5

Part 5? Yeah, it's part 5.
More cover versions! This time, unlike the last two posts, we're going back to Rock/Metal covers of Rock/Metal/Pop songs; no WaveGroup covers this time. As always, I'll be writing about the original, then writing about the cover version before offering my verdict on which version is best and why. There's no real theme to this post. I'll try to pick famous cover versions or covers of famous songs (as usual) but other than putting the more well known covers first, it's a basically a free-for-all!
Also, underneath this post is an embedded Spotify playlist containing originals and covers so you can listen along if you want.

ROUND ONE: Bad Company
Bad Company - I think I've said this is "arguably" the band's signature song in the past but when your band literally shares the name of a song from an album that ALSO shares its name with the song, there's not really any argument to be had. It's a decent track, a little plain in comparison to some of their other tracks but if you want a vocally driven song with a catchy chorus and some nice piano melodies, look no further. It's just a shame the guitar solo in the outro is weak but you can't have everything.
Five Finger Death Punch - I'll admit that this song transitions well into a Five Finger Death Punch track and the band do a good job of knowing where to be heavy. The solo isn't as excessive as other contemporary Hard Rock/Metal covers (Black Label Society and Guns N' Roses could learn a thing or two) and this song has an actual outro instead of fading out during a solo. It's a great cover alright, although I'm still not entirely sold on it. Maybe I just dislike the sound of Five Finger Death Punch but even though I can't find anything wrong with it, I still don't want to listen to it again.
VERDICT - I'm really torn on this one because even though I'd rather listen to Bad Company's original, I feel like I have more positive things to say about Five Finger Death Punch's cover. I think I've got to go with my gut and say Bad Company take the win for having stronger (albeit fewer) positive aspects. Five Finger Death Punch still pulled out a great cover and it's not surprising that their version of this song is regarded to be one of their better tracks.

ROUND TWO: The Sound Of Silence
Simon & Garfunkel - As great as this song is, I feel like Arrested Development has kinda tainted it. I can't hear this song without thinking of "I've made a huge mistake" and Will Arnett but thankfully, those thoughts dissipate once the percussion comes in. Whilst this song might be overused in the media, it's still a brilliant vocally driven Classic Rock track. The lyrics were also referenced in "The Spirit Of Radio" - Rush ("and the words of the prophets were written on the studio walls, echoes with the sounds of salesmen") so it's got that going for it too.
Disturbed - Remember when the Internet went all fangirl over this cover as if it was the greatest fucking thing since that video of the cat saying "Oh long Johnson"? I'll admit, it starts off really well. The build up and use of piano to deliver the melody are fantastic, not to mention David Draiman's restrained vocals. However, there's something about this song that reminds me of those awful covers on The X Factor during "Rock week"; it just feels artificial, staged. Then it reaches the three minute mark and just becomes silly; Draiman starts growling and I completely lose interest. However, having listened to the whole song in one sitting after taking a break from the snippets I constantly used to hear over the radio, it's not bad.
VERDICT - Definitely Simon & Garfunkel. The introduction of percussion alone is better than any single part of the Disturbed cover and whilst Disturbed did try something interesting, I feel like they were just short of a perfect cover. But hey, at least I understand why people loved this cover so much now, even if I don't share the sentiment.

ROUND THREE: Am I Evil?
Diamond Head - There are many versions of this song but I think the one I prefer is the 1982 rerecording. You know, the one with the slightly slower intro (if it helps, I believe it was the one used in Guitar Hero: Metallica, NOT Brutal Legend). Anyway, the song is still awesome from start to finish. It's almost like an Ozzy-era Black Sabbath song but done properly, from the heavy "Evil" chords at the start to the chugging riff during the vocals. Easily the band's signature song and with songwriting talents like this, it's a shame we didn't get to see Diamond Head reach the heights of their contemporaries at the time.
Metallica - Metallica assembled and recorded many covers for Garage Inc. but arguably this is the most significant. They shot into the spotlight after playing a cover of "Am I Evil?" before they recorded Kill Em All and I've got to say, it's pretty damn good. They don't really change much about it yet successfully make the song sound like their own. It sounds like something they could have written themselves although if you heard the original first, you probably won't get much out of it.
VERDICT - Whilst it's not as night & day as the last round, the win goes to Diamond Head. Both versions are great and it probably depends on which one you heard first but in cases like this, I tend to favour the original. However, at least Metallica only have one official version of this track whereas Diamond Head have about three.

ROUND FOUR: Call Me The Breeze
J.J. Cale - This is a nice, easy going Blues Rock track by the guy Eric 'Boring' Clapton wishes he could've been. It's a fairly short little tune with a simple guitar solo and vocals throughout; nothing imposing and it fades out during the outro. Other than that, there's not really a lot to comment on. Moving on!
Lynyrd Skynyrd - I think a lot of people incorrectly assume this is a Skynyrd original in the same way people assume "Cocaine" is a Clapton original (it isn't and unsurprisingly, J.J. Cale's is much better). Lynyrd Skynyrd took the original and turned it ALL THE WAY up with a tasty guitar AND piano solo, not to mention brass accompaniment and an actual outro (which is pretty rare for Skynyrd's bigger songs). Every aspect of this song is better...so guess who's getting the win.
VERDICT - Lynyrd Skynyrd take a well deserved win right here. However, if we were comparing the J.J. Cale original with the Eric 'Boring' Clapton cover from a few years ago, J.J. would be taking home the win without a doubt.

ROUND FIVE: All Along The Watchtower
Bob Dylan - Did you know that this song was a Bob Dylan track before Hendrix covered it? I mean, you do if you played Guitar Hero 5 but yeah, here it is! Bob Dylan sounds like a comedian doing a Bob Dylan impression and the harmonica throughout gets annoying pretty fucking quickly. As for the acoustic guitar, it's basically an afterthought. In other words, this song is a little shitty although if you prefer Folk to Rock, you'll probably love it.
Jimi Hendrix - Arguably Hendrix's signature song and it isn't even his. However, the changes made to the overall structure and addition of all the guitar solos (not to mention Jimi's far superior vocal range) turn this into an iconic Rock song. Whilst I'm not hugely into the track in comparison to some of his other well known songs like "Castles Made Of Sand" and "Hey Joe", you can't deny that the opening chords that flow into the first guitar solo are just perfect.
VERDICT - Easily a win for Jimi Hendrix. Despite having a slower tempo and lasting a lot longer than the original, it's a straight up classic whilst the original deserves to fade into obscurity.

ROUND SIX: Back In Black
AC/DC - After Bon Scott died and the band found a replacement in the form of Brian Johnson, AC/DC wanted to come back with a powerful Rock anthem to show fans that they were still a pure Hard Rock machine. The band chose wisely with this song containing a wealth of epic riffs, sweet solos and raw vocals and whilst Bon Scott was truly the better vocalist, Brian's voice was at its finest at the start of his lengthy stretch with the band.
Living Colour - So you might be wondering why I chose this song/cover. To me, "Back In Black" is one of those iconic Rock songs that people will ALWAYS associate with AC/DC and to cover it is inviting disappointment...until I heard Living Colour try it. The guitar is spot on throughout and whilst the vocals get a little too screechy, I wanted to include this track in the list as a way of showing that good covers of this song can exist, not just tacky ones of AC/DC tracks that existed as alternatives to the original before the band became available on Spotify.
VERDICT - Even though I like the Living Colour version, I think we all agree that AC/DC knocked it out of the park with this track. If Living Colour's vocals weren't so abrasive, they may have taken home the win here but alas, it wasn't to be.

ROUND SEVEN: Helter Skelter
The Beatles - Music historians cite this song as one of the earliest influences for the Heavy Metal genre and whilst I can agree with that statement, anyone who calls this song Heavy Metal is a fucking idiot. At best, it's Hard Rock although even by Deep Purple standards, it's more like 60s Garage. Anyway, this song was about as heavy as The Beatles got with clashing symbols, screeching vocals and chugging guitar riffs. It's a decent track although not exactly in the band's wheelhouse. That being said, I'll take it over their trippy, psychedelic, circus nonsense.
Motley Crue - Fun fact: Motley Crue also toyed with the idea of recording a cover of "Paperback Writer", the far greater Beatles song, and did play that track live a few times. However, between the two songs, I'm glad "Helter Skelter" got the studio treatment. The Crue took the blueprints for a fine Hard Rock song and beefed it up a bit, transforming it into a decent Hair/Heavy Metal tune. It's just a shame that the lyrics about going down slides don't really make the same transition as the music.
VERDICT - Whilst I'd obviously pick The Beatles over Motley Crue for overall strength of music, I'm giving the win to Motley Crue here. Heavier song needs heavier music and The Beatles just fell a little short, although they came damn close to writing a full on Hard Rock song. Maybe in an alternate timeline where they kept going long after 1970, the band rerecorded it with the necessary power it deserves. However, until interdimensional travel exists, at least we've got Motley Crue's version.

ROUND EIGHT: Oops I Did It Again
Britney Spears - For years, I thought this and "...Baby One More Time" were the exact same song. Ya know, because they sound identical. Anyway, apparently this is a different song that uses other words? Either way, it's still a generic Pop song with piano chords, basic percussion, lyrics designed by a committee to make teenage girls want to be her and horny dads want to fuck her. Whilst I'm generally not a fan of Pop music (or Britney Spears), this song certainly isn't "Toxic".
Children Of Bodom - Children Of Bodom have done some great little covers over their years but I think this is the one that everyone knows.  A Melodic Death Metal cover of a Pop song. Vocally, this song is absolute shite outside of the chorus although I'm guessing that's kinda the point; it feels like it was performed sarcastically and you know what? I can dig that. Musically, it's one of the lesser Children Of Bodom tracks but they still managed to fit a solid guitar solo into it.
VERDICT - Children Of Bodom did something fun and unique with a bland song so they deserve a win. I also recommend their covers album Skeletons In The Closet if you want some other decent tunes of theirs, provided you like Melodic Death Metal.

ROUND NINE: Smoke On The Water
Deep Purple - One of the most iconic guitar riffs of all time and also one of the most basic Deep Purple/Richie Blackmore songs. Admittedly, it's a pretty great riff and there are some decent Ian Gillan vocals but other than that, it's an underperforming Hard Rock track. Weak guitar solo and goes on way too long but it's still an OK song if you haven't heard many other Deep Purple tunes. However, I bet there are bands who could do a fantastic cover of this song...
The Flaming Lips - ...just not these guys. If you haven't heard The Flaming Lips cover of "Smoke On The Water", part of me wants to recommend it just to hear how fucking terrible it is. It's the height of experimental hipster shit and once those vocals come in, you know you're in for something terrible. Similar to the Children Of Bodom song, this feels like a piss-take although unlike their Britney Spears cover, this just sounds awful.
VERDICT - I picked this song because I knew The Flaming Lips did a shite cover that you needed to know about. Obviously Deep Purple get the win and OK, maybe this entry is a little one sided so in the interest of balance, let's have a well known song with an amazing cover.

ROUND TEN: Cheap Sunglasses
ZZ Top - If you've been reading my blog for a while, you'll probably know my opinion of "Cheap Sunglasses" and indeed, early ZZ Top. Great songs but absolutely terrible mixes; flatter than day old coke and in dire need of a remaster. However, ignoring technical flaws, the song's bloody good. Great riffs, fun lyrics and a decent solo; an awesome Blues Rock track. If the mix was better, this would be the perfect Rock song.
The Sword - Now THIS is what I'm talking about. Proper dynamics whilst still keeping the grit and Blues aspects. Granted it's more like Heavy Metal than Hard Rock now but The Sword have taken this song and ramped it up. Hopefully ZZ Top will hear this and be inspired to rerecord/remaster their back catalogue one day. The Sword have also done a smashing cover of "Cold Sweat" - Thin Lizzy although because that was a B-side to one of their singles, it's harder to find online.
VERDICT - Definitely The Sword although I still like ZZ Top's original a lot.


As stated above, here's a Spotify playlist of all the songs discussed in this post so you can listen along and decide whether I'm making some good points or are just completely full of shit...or ya know, somewhere in the middle.

Tenology: Great Song Uses In Video Games

Yes, it's a video game post but no, it's not about video game music!
Video games have come a long way over the last couple of decades, not just in terms of graphics and gameplay but also music use. When game developers decided to license actual songs instead of relying entirely on music specifically made for the title, most of the time it was just to offer additional background music (see GTA radio stations). However, now and then, the game developers knew that certain gameplay moments couldn't be experienced without a specific track playing and that's what this post is all about; a celebration of those times when a song came on, the stars aligned and all was right with the world just for a few minutes.
These moments don't occur that often, which is probably what makes them even greater, but in no particular order, here are ten times that video games reached the next level (no pun intended) with their uses of licensed music and/or songs by real bands recorded specifically for a game. Note: I'm not including songs licensed just for the game's soundtrack that are heard randomly and without purpose; these songs have to be heard at scripted events to be counted. I'm also not including songs from rhythm music games (Guitar Hero, Rock Band, etc) and I'm aiming to only include one song per game franchise, so no repeat uses of Saints Row tracks.


1. "Children Of The Elder God" - Poets Of The Fall
Used in Alan Wake (2010)

Alan Wake is a game about a writer trying to survive an attack by vicious, possessed creatures in a dark wood. It largely involves a lot of walking, some gun play and a bit of psychological horror. However, one section takes you to a stage in the middle of the woods where the fictional band Old Gods Of Asgard used to play. The game then treats you to a level where the stage lights up and monsters attempt to attack you whilst this song plays from start to finish. Needless to say, it's fucking awesome (if not a little out of place). The song is technically by Poets Of The Fall although I believe the track is credited to their fictional name in the game. Either way, the combination of the great song, the fun level and the welcome break from all the creepiness makes this a highly memorable moment.


2. "Opposites Attract" - Paula Abdul
Used in Saints Row IV (2013)

Saints Row started off as a fun little GTA clone but soon evolved into something much, MUCH better when Saints Row IV came around (although I hear Saints Row The Third is also fantastic). There are many great song uses in this game, including a side mission where you do a pole dance to "Simply Irresistible" - Robert Palmer and escape from an alien mothership to "What Is Love" - Haddaway. However, my personal favourite is a little more low key than those. You're driving with your friend on your way to start the mission (some shooting/fighting affair, no big deal) when "Opposites Attract" comes on over the radio. Your character and your friend then proceed to sing along, playing both parts regardless of which gender or voice actor you choose to play The Boss. It's a particularly fun little section in a game filled with over-the-top missions and music moments...it also helped me get into this song and inspired me to learn all of the lyrics too, although let's not dwell on that.


3. "Painkiller" - Judas Priest
Used in Brutal Legend (2009)

This song was almost going to be "Children Of The Grave" - Black Sabbath or "Through The Fire And Flames" - DragonForce but then I remembered the final boss. Whilst those songs had great uses in this third person hack n slash/RTS inspired by the art and music of Heavy Metal, the final battle of the game is amplified all the more by this epic battle anthem. It's a shame the final boss itself is a lame battle on its own but this song takes it to far higher levels. Hopefully one day we'll get a Brutal Legend 2 before all the Rock/Metal musicians die and the tracks are too expensive to license but hey, at least we can always relive this game.


4. "Still Alive" - Jonathan Coulton
Used in Portal (2007)

Portal is regarded as one of the greatest video games due to its unique puzzle solving elements and humour, although I've never actually played much of it myself. I played a bit on a demo and can't say I cared for it but there is one thing I enjoyed: the song used in the credits. Another track written specifically for the game that sung from the perspective of the game's AI antagonist; a hauntingly optimistic look at the game's events that fans have praised for over a decade. Whilst my enjoyment of the song has faded since I first heard it, I still acknowledge that it's a necessary factor in what makes Portal such a memorable game. It's rightfully taken its place in video game Pop culture, much like "the cake is a lie"...although I prefer "Still Alive".


5. "Gone Guru" - Lifeseeker
Used in Dead Rising (2006)

Yep, I'm even including Hip Hop songs in this list. Whilst I couldn't give a shit about the rapping throughout, the opening guitar notes will always make me think of the prison inmates fight from Dead Rising. Basically, you're stuck in a supermarket overrun with zombies and somehow, a bunch of prisoners have not only escaped but acquired a military vehicle with a machine gun on it. They then drive to the park section of the supermarket where they proceed to spend the majority of the game driving around attempting to kill you instead of looting or, say, escaping. However, every time you enter the park with the convicts around, this song plays...and my God, it is chilling.
See, the zombies in this game are pretty easy to kill. The convicts, however? Pain in the arse. Not only that but they are lethal to any survivors you've got with you, making them a genuine threat to survival that you often have to navigate your way around rather than take head on. Oh, and they respawn. What this means is even after you successfully kill them, you can revisit the park and immediately realise that you're in for a challenge...all because of "Gone Guru" and those opening guitar notes. It's one of the game's scariest moments, all thanks to a single song. Well played, Capcom.


6. "Bad Voodoo" - Kreeps
Used in Red Dead Redemption: Undead Nightmare (2010)

I'd probably be less inclined to include DLC expansions in this list if Undead Nightmare wasn't the single greatest DLC expansion to ever exist. Red Dead Redemption is a fun third person cowboy action game but Undead Nightmare mixes things up with the addition of zombies, completely changing the style of gameplay you might be used to and adding all new levels of fun to an already decent game. The music is creepy and atmospheric but towards the end of the game, you're tasked with riding to Mexico to seek someone out. You get on your horse, you start riding and BAM, this song comes in loud and proud. At first, it sounds like it could be part of the game's score but then the vocals come in as you storm across the fields of death. Most people claim "Far Away" - Jose Gonzales is a great use of licensed music in a game but I still love this song and use.


7. "She Changes Like The Weather" - Nic Armstrong
Used in Destroy All Humans! 2 (2006)

I loved this game when it first came out. Not just because destroying buildings and killing people as an alien was fun to a kid but the improvements made between DaH! and DaH!2 were phenomenal. New weapons, globetrotting locations, decent side missions, proper bodysnatching AND licensed music that sounded great. You'd think that a game taking place in the 60s would license a load of 60s Garage Rock but (presumably) to save on the costs, they instead went for modern music that SOUNDED like 60s Rock. One of the songs featuring prominently throughout the game is "She Changes Like The Weather", a sort of Beatlesque number with a catchy vocal melody. It can be heard near record shops AND towards the end of the game, it plays during a chaotic clash inside a moon base. Maybe it's just because the contrast of this peaceful sounding song and all the fighting going on reminds me of The Prisoner (they used "All You Need Is Love" - The Beatles during a gunfight in the final episode) but I loved hearing it during gameplay, even if it wasn't necessarily my favourite track licensed for the game. I also loved "Help You Ann" - Lyres playing during one of the side missions, although unfortunately that side mission can eat a dick.


8. "Ain't No Rest For The Wicked" - Cage The Elephant
Used in Borderlands (2009)

I'm not a big fan of FPS games but the intro to Borderlands was enough to convince me to give this a try. In the end, I gave it up because my PC couldn't handle it but enough about personal shit, let's talk music! The opening cinematic does an exceptional job of setting the tone, introducing the characters and giving us a snapshot of the world you're about to become a part of and it wouldn't be the same without the action choreographed to "Ain't No Rest For The Wicked". It's the perfect blend of gritty and wacky, just like Borderlands, and lyrically it's exactly the kind of message you need to understand everything you need to know about the characters. I've heard the second game has a decent use of "Short Change Hero" - The Heavy but this is the only game I've played of the Borderlands franchise, so this is the one that struck a chord with me.


9. "Mickey" - Toni Basil
Used in Lollipop Chainsaw (2012)

Another game with an underrated little soundtrack. Lollipop Chainsaw saw you playing as a cheerleader/zombie hunter who carried a comically oversized chainsaw and the still-alive severed head of her boyfriend as she aimed to save each member of her family from the undead. Whilst the game had several great licensed music uses (the Dead Or Alive song during the farm level was also a contender for this list), I never got tired of hearing "Mickey" play every time I powered up and entered sparkle mode or whatever the fuck it was called. It's a song that works not only as a cute little Pop number or the credits song but also as a battle anthem for tearing through zombies. Who knew?


10. "Get It Together" - The Go! Team
Used in LittleBigPlanet (2008)

I hated this game when I played it. I can't remember which level I got to but I remember the realistic gravity and 2D platforming did nothing but piss me off. However, there is one great thing about this game: the use of "Get It Together" - The Go! Team, a charming little Indie number used heavily in the game's promotion but also during some of the levels. The mediocre platforming sections are greatly improved by this quirky tune's presence and the fact that the song was previously associated with the game before appearing in a level makes the song feel like an accomplishment; you've earned the ability to hear this song as you play due to progressing to this point. Maybe I'm only thinking of it as an achievement because to me, playing the game for more than a couple of minutes was a slog, but either way I loved the track and am almost certain that this game...nah, it probably would've done well even without the licensed music.


Obviously there are other great uses of licensed tracks in video games that I've either neglected or simply didn't think were all that (yes, I'm aware of The Rolling Stones in Call Of Duty and yes, I've watched the introduction to Prey with "(Don't Fear) The Reaper"). If there are any music moments in games that you recommend and think I should check out, feel free to let me know in the comments or via Twitter.