Boneshaker - Airbourne

Looks like it's time for another album review! Continuing with the Hard Rock genre, we have the next album from Australian riff-recyclers, Airbourne!

Before I start this review, I should begin by explaining my main problem with their last album (Breakin' Outta Hell). It was an OK Hard Rock album but only if you listened to random tracks now and then as opposed to the whole collection as an album. I liked some of the songs off it but would only recommend buying those tracks instead of the album. Fortunately, it's a much better situation with Boneshaker. It's a collection of great songs that function as individual tracks or a complete album. Sadly one of the worst tracks is the album opener, title track and lead single, "Boneshaker".
It has a dull riff, a plodding rhythm and whilst there are some solid vocal sections to get the crowds pumped up at gigs, it all feels a bit stale. Luckily, with the bar set so low on the first track, the rest of the album successfully delivers a healthy amount of musical aggression and energy instead of slumping back into the safe foot-tapping Hard Rock that usually plagues Airbourne albums. Granted there are a few songs that slow things down or seek comfort in the familiar, such as tongue-in-cheek rocker "Backseat Boogie" and bog-standard filler track "She Gives Me Hell" (the latter seemingly inspired by the band's earlier material, which is always welcome in Rock if done right), but they're few and far between.
The other album letdown is the album closer, "Rock 'N' Roll For Life". It's a fast, frenzied love letter to Rock music although even that drops the ball by containing a weak mix and coming after a much better song to end the album. However, it's still as memorable than any of the bland, basic 4/4 120-130 BPM songs that the band used to love to write. The faster, more energetic songs on the album make decent background music if you're driving or doing housework but since the band have already given us four albums of plodding riffs and rhythms, it's good to finally get one that stands out. The album cover, name and title track all suggested they were ready to do exactly the same thing again and release yet another dull album with a few exciting tracks, especially since frontman Joel O'Keeffe has acknowledged that this album didn't take as long to write as previous ones. Thankfully, it's not just Airbourne being Airbourne.

If I had to single out the biggest change, it wouldn't be the increase in faster tracks; it'd be the decision to try something new. Airbourne have never really taken themselves seriously with their music but there's something about some of these songs that just seem a bit more thought out than others. When I first read the tracklist, I thought it read less like a Spinal Tap record despite some exceptions ("Sex To Go"). I'm not saying the band have to abandon their sillier side to be more respectable but when you're listening to a song with multiple musical sections and lyrics such as "One nation under a nuclear sun now lays rotting above caves of steel, rivers of fire, we await the creatures who walk beneath us", it proves the band still have some desire to try new things. I would expect that kind of willingness to adapt whilst still retaining what makes you great from The Darkness, not Airbourne.
Thankfully, it's not the only highlight. The band have been influenced by the right sources, as some of the many belters have echoes of Heavy Metal bands such as Megadeth and classics such as AC/DC about them ("This Is Our City" and "Blood In The Water", respectively). I'll admit that AC/DC is an easy comparison to make but in the same way Rush and Triumph are often compared for being Hard/Prog Rock power trios from Canada, you won't find a better band to compare AC/DC to than an Australian Hard Rock group who are making a career out of releasing similar albums over and over again.
However, the main difference between AC/DC and Airbourne is that AC/DC usually screwed up when trying to play something that wasn't in their stronger skillset, meaning they'd often revert back to what they could do properly. Airbourne sound like they're ready to take things further one step at a time, which is just as well as their first album came out 12 years ago. This album has plenty of fun songs like "Switchblade Angel", a track with a unique solo (compared to other Airbourne songs) and a short length so as not to outstay its welcome. It's still Airbourne but it's not a carbon copy of 60% of their previous material. It's not as anthemic as the title track but it doesn't have to be; it's a great song and it sounds like it belongs on this album, if only to give listeners something short and sweet to enjoy before the meatier tracks.

Overall, Boneshaker will probably please fans of Hard Rock who want to stick this album on whilst occupying themselves with odd jobs around the house. They toned down the songs about sex and amplified ones inspired by aggression or power like literally everything about the album suggested before you listened to it. If it was advertised as a vastly different Airbourne album, I would've been a bit more sceptical and probably criticised it for not delivering on something the band are only starting to get better at.
Instead, it feels like they (or the record label/producer, probably) wanted to make people think it was something the band have already given us so the changes come as a pleasant surprise, so I give it a 7/10. It's pretty good, I didn't strongly love any of the songs but I liked listening to quite a few of them. Buy this album if you haven't listened to any of Airbourne's previous albums and just want more great Rock. Listen to the album if you like the band/genre and purchase the songs you really like individually. I imagine a tour promoting this album would be worth getting tickets for, as Airbourne strike me as a band who really bring the thunder live and have only just forged a bottle capable of holding it in the studio.
Maybe album number six will be the one where they take a more confident step forward with the asskicking...but I'll probably be fine if it's the same as this one.

Easter Is Cancelled - The Darkness

Taking a break from charting Clone Hero customs to review my second favourite album of 2019 so far!
Oh shit, sorry. Spoilers.

A song about calling for the execution of a musical genre.
A song about falling in love with a girl who's hardcore into Death Metal.
A song about the state of the planet and mankind sung from the perspective of Jesus.
A song about the tragic loss of one's deck chair on a particularly windy day.
These and many more can be found on Easter Is Cancelled, the latest album by UK based semi-Comedy Rock band, The Darkness. As you can tell by the artwork above (a huge improvement on the horrible cover from Pinewood Smile), this is an album by a band that aren't ready to take themselves or the musical genre they're so adept at producing seriously any time soon. Much like their last two albums, there's a healthy blend of songs with silly lyrics about mundane British life and absolute bangers with heavy riffs and furious solos.
Album opener and lead single "Rock And Roll Deserves To Die" is definitely the latter, as the song's built around multiple acoustic guitar melodies before charging into a thundering post-chorus riff paired with Justin Hawkins' trademark screeching falsetto. Lyrically, it's grandiose and the subject matter of the song is hardly one to treat with sincerity (especially since the band full-on backpedal on their decree by the album's final track, "We Are The Guitar Men") but it's not designed to have you tittering to yourself like a fool. Hell, nothing on this album is, really.

Compared to the last album that had songs about the terrible UK train service and wanting to have sex with the mums of the younger fans, the humour on this album is a little more subtle. Sure, there are straight up hilarious lines such as "None more Metal, elegance and grace, we make sweet love to Hammer Smashed Face" ("Heavy Metal Lover") but the majority of the humour comes from lines like "You've bitten off more than you can chew, I hope my heart was a tasty hors d'oeuvre, You don't wanna hug, You need the Heimlich manoeuvre" ("Choke On It"); a bizarre but perfect blend of clever rhyming and lyrical structure to make an absolutely ridiculous point.
Ordinarily, I'd compare Rock music with a comical tone to the bigger bands that have dominated the Comedy Rock scene such as Spinal Tap and Tenacious D but I honestly feel like a far more fitting comparison for this album would be mid 70s Queen. No, the vocals aren't as strong as Freddie's and the guitar riffs aren't as classic as Brian May's but the tone of the album feels almost exactly on par with records such as A Night At The Opera. Songs with great melodies and poetic lyrics sandwiched between Arena Rock anthems designed to make the crowds go fucking crazy.
The riff-based piledrivers such as title track "Easter Is Cancelled" leave a great lasting impression and the melodic rockers such as "We Are The Guitar Men" have great repeat value. The sillier songs such as "Deck Chair" are probably the weaker entries due to being focused primarily on the humorous lyrics over the music but at least they make for a great listen once or twice before the joke wears thin. However, the biggest flaw of the album is that they saved some of the best songs for the Deluxe Edition such as Folk number "Sutton Hoo", a punchy little number telling a story about aliens visiting an Anglo-Saxon ship in the past (totally something Brian May could've written).

Easter Is Cancelled is an absolute joy to listen to. Hard Rock belters full of explosive action, catchy acoustic melodies for the music enthusiast in you to enjoy and plenty of mild chuckles along the way; it's basically the musical equivalent to a well-made superhero film. There are a couple of mediocre Rock numbers that are easily forgettable ("Heart Explodes", "In Another Life") but nothing that's bad or poorly made. However, these songs could've and should've been replaced by at least one song that was a bit meatier; maybe a Hard Rock chugger about vampires of Rock or something.
Whilst it doesn't exactly push any boundaries or showcase the band's willingness to experiment like I expected them to, any band that can write and produce a Queen album deserves credit. I rate the album 8/10 (same as Pinewood Smile) and would've given it a 9 if the band decided to include all 14 songs on one album instead of trying to milk fans for more cash. Yes, I still think criticising bands and penalising albums for releasing Deluxe Editions with new music is justifiable, deal with it.

Fear Inoculum - Tool

The day has arrived. Fans have been waiting what feels like an eternity for new material and it's finally here! That's right, it's a brand new blog post from me!

Before Tool decided to pull their heads out of their arses and bring their music to iTunes/Spotify, I didn't really have a strong opinion of them. I knew three of their songs through Guitar Hero and thought they all sounded kinda repetitive, like each song had a great riff but the band didn't know what to do with it other than milk it until the raw teet was producing nothing but dust. It was only after listening to their back catalogue earlier this month that I realised that's the majority of Tool songs; a great 5-6 minute song with five minutes of unnecessary droning around it.
Fans of Tool will be delighted to know that Fear Inoculum, their first album in 13 years, continues the trend of songs going on far too long to the point that the band reach Josh Homme levels of pretentiousness without showing the necessary technical proficiency to justify 15 minute Prog Metal odysseys about the number seven ("7empest"). But let's look at the positives first, shall we? For kick off, album opener, lead single and title track "Fear Inoculum" is easily the best song on the record.
It may be 10 minutes long and only six of those are worth listening to but the eerie delayed riff, build up of each instrument and fantastic bass (a staple of the best Tool songs thanks to Justin Chancellor/Paul D'Amour) are perfect for fans of their previous albums and newcomers introduced to the band due to their sudden willingness to be heard by actual people alike. It should also be noted that regardless of musical taste, this album is clearly the band's artistic vision; flawed and uncompromising like all great works of art should be, even though I'm sure many diehards were already hitting the message boards with rants about Maynard Keenan selling out after they posted their music online.

However, even the most incandescent, red-faced fan pounding their keys in rage over the disappointment of this album would have the makings of a solid argument if they used the words "tedious", "pompous" or "dull" in the midst of their frothing tirade. It doesn't matter if you love Prog Metal or not, this album is hard work to listen to. To actually sit through all 90 minutes actively listening to a band musically masturbating with the same drawn-out, simplistic melodies recycled and reworked you've heard by the fourth track requires the kind of discipline most monks who vow to spend their lives in celibate silence strive to achieve.
One sign of the band's obvious self-importance comes in the form of multiple soundscapes acting as interludes between the longer, Proggier tunes ("Litanie contre la Peur", "Legion Inoculant", "Chocolate Chip Trip", "Mockingbeat"). It's bad enough when bands flood albums with pointless 40 second tuneless wankfests - looking at you, Slipknot - but these tracks range from two to almost five minutes in length. They could've written actual songs that last that long but instead put their creative and musical talents into minimalist nonsense.
A great example of an album utilising short interludes to act as bridges between tracks is "FX" from Vol. 4 - Black Sabbath. After "Changes", a piano ballad about dealing with a break-up, you need a short breather before returning to roaring Heavy Metal in the form of "Supernaut". However, not only is "FX" less than two minutes long but it's also placed between two tracks that are worlds apart from each other in tone and sound. To the casual listener, every song on the Tool album sounds similar enough to not warrant the pointless procedurally generated audio files that take up 14% of the album.

The remaining 86% consists of tracks containing interchangeable strum patterns to atypical time signatures ("Descending"), multiple endings to extend an already padded song length ("Invincible") and the occasional great riffs that trick you into thinking a song is good because the band were clever enough to use them at the start and end ("Pneuma"). It's commendable that the band refused to bow to the temptations of a commercial sounding record in a time where once respectable Rock bands have decided to pair themselves with Pop producers but ultimately, it's a tough album to get into and definitely not one I'd lose sleep over if I never heard again.
For people who enjoy listening to albums as an immersive experience where they shut the curtains and seal themselves off from the rest of the world to take in the majesty of the music, this album might be pretty good. To everyone else, nothing on the album stands out as exceptional. Title track aside, the music is forgettable and nothing you haven't already heard from Tool already. I rate the album 3/10 largely for the ambition and effort. Sure, there are some musical highlights like the four-minute guitar solo that's intricately composed and not horrible to listen to but when it's encased in a 15 minute track, you're unlikely to want to listen to it again.
Much like anal sex, I recommend listening to Fear Inoculum at least once as an experience. You may find that you're more into it than you previously assumed but it's more likely that you'll not get anything out of it that you couldn't get from other places. Be warned though, you should only give it a go if you're in the right mood and can stomach pure shit.

Rapid Fire: Uriah Heep, Joe Satriani, Powerwolf

Haven't done one of these for a while but the last Rapid Fire post of the year will be looking at three albums from 2018 that I didn't get a chance to review or shine a spotlight on...until now, that is!
First up, we have an album that I've been putting off ever since discovering that Slash released an album with exactly the same name.

1. Living The Dream - Uriah Heep

One of the main reasons I didn't want to review this album after listening to it is because I felt like it wouldn't make for a very entertaining read. After all, there was nothing wrong with the album when I listened to it but at the same time, there was very little exciting about it either; it was a competent Hard Prog record by a band that still have life in them yet. Revisiting it many months later and I have to say, my opinion is more or less the exact same. It's still a decent album with some good tunes and easily forgettable filler tracks.
Album opener and lead single "Grazed By Heaven" is one of the album highlights along with guitar-driven "Take Away My Soul" but many songs go on a little bit too long and feel closer to Prog than Hard Rock, which will probably delight Uriah Heep's original fans. However, there are still plenty of great riffs on guitar and organ (occasionally simultaneously, giving it a great 70s Rock sound) and the percussion contains enough variety to prevent this from sounding like a Thunder album with the same rhythm on every song.
All in all, I'd recommend Living The Dream to fans of 70s and contemporary Hard Prog. It's a good album rooted in Rock with great Hard Prog variety although this is probably a better record for fans of longer, less energetic music that they can enjoy mid-activity or drive. That being said, there are shorter, punchier tunes for those enthusiasts so there should be something for plenty of Rock fans here.

1. Grazed By Heaven

2. Living The Dream

3. Take Away My Soul

4. Knocking At My Door

5. Rocks In The Road

6. Waters Flowin'

7. It's All Been Said

8. Goodbye To Innocence

9. Falling Under Your Spell

10. Dreams Of Yesteryear

ALBUM RATING - 7/10

Next up, we have an album by guitar virtuoso Joe Satriani!


2. What Happens Next - Joe Satriani

When it comes to awesome instrumental Rock songs, Joe Satriani generally knows what he's doing. Surfing With The Alien is a top notch record and I was excited to listen to another Joe Satriani album again, especially one with modern recording technology and no need to worry about declining vocal or technical guitar playing skill (since it's clear Joe still has it!). Album opener "Energy" kicks things off with a fast tempo and fun riffs before slowing things down with funky, bass-driven "Catbot", all with unique guitar solos and tones.
That's probably the main selling point of Joe Satriani's music; it's not just the technically proficient playing, it's the strange sounds he's able to make the guitar come out with. The use of different tones and styles separates it from sounding like a load of plain guitar soloing over 12 songs. Granted he's not the only virtuoso player to realise this is the key to being a successful artist but he's arguably one of the more distinct ones (along with Buckethead). Whilst guitarists like Eric Johnson cultivate and develop their playing into a signature sound synonymous with their name, Joe Satriani typically brings you a plentiful feast of action-packed Rock muzak to get stuck into.
This album is largely the same; there's soft Funk ("Cherry Blossoms", "Righteous"), there's fast Blues Rock ("Headrush") and music in between ("Invisible") although there's a little more emphasis on the slower, more atmospheric tunes such as the album's title track "What Happens Next". Fans of those kind of songs will probably love this album but those who preferred material like "Crushing Day", "Summer Song" and "Crystal Planet" may find themselves a little bored. Sadly, I'm one of those people although I can still appreciate the talent that went into each song.

1. Energy

2. Catbot

3. Thunder High On The Mountain

4. Cherry Blossoms

5. Righteous

6. Smooth Soul

7. Headrush

8. Looper

9. What Happens Next

10. Super Funky Badass

11. Invisible

12. Forever And Ever

ALBUM RATING - 5/10

Finally, we have an album by a Metal band that I've only just discovered due to playing their music in Clone Hero!

3. The Sacrament Of Sin - Powerwolf

Having listened to a couple of Powerwolf songs before checking this album out, I had high hopes for The Sacrament Of Sin. The songs I'd heard were decent Heavy Metal tunes, albeit a bit lacking in technical skill, and I'd heard positive things about the album too. Turns out those positive things were to be trusted as I liked this album quite a lot, although not enough to rave about it. I mean, it's great but it's no Prequelle (although there are similarities in the gothic Metal with a touch of 80s Pop tone). Album opener "Fire & Forgive" is a good heavy song to get things started although after the first few songs, the album takes a pretty lengthy rest break with multiple slower tracks ("Where The Wild Wolves Have Gone", "Stossgebet").
However, this isn't necessarily a bad thing. This is definitely an album to listen to in one sitting rather than picking and choosing random tracks out of order. Sure, you can listen to your favourites out of order and still get joy out of them but the transition between each track sounds carefully planned and the consecutive slower songs don't bring the overall pace of the album down as awkwardly as other albums that shoehorn slow tunes in between fast ones because they didn't know where else to put them. It also means that unlike other contemporary albums that go through the second half slump due to putting all the better tracks at the start, we still get some bangers towards the end of the record ("Venom Of Venus", "Fist By Fist (Sacralize Or Strike)").
I would recommend this album to Heavy Metal fans who like their music grand and awesome. The album's a well crafted product and provides a damn fine if not slightly repetitive listening experience if you let it, although fans of classic Heavy Metal (or even newer Metal bands) may find the music a little underwhelming when it comes to furious solos and complex riffs...in that there aren't really any. There are heavy rapid strumming riffs but no face-melters, just melodic ones with some mild sweeping ("Nighttime Rebel"). Luckily, songs don't need insane solos to be good so if you can listen past that, you'll be in for a treat.

1. Fire & Forgive

2. Demons Are A Girl's Best Friend

3. Killers With The Cross

4. Incense & Iron

5. Where The Wild Wolves Have Gone

6. Stossgebet

7. Nightside Of Siberia

8. The Sacrament Of Sin

9. Venom Of Venus

10. Nighttime Rebel

11. Fist By Fist (Sacralize Or Strike)

ALBUM RATING - 9/10

COMING SOON: More news and a look at my ten favourite songs from 2018!

The Music Made Me Do It - Ted Nugent

Did you know that Crazy Ted Nugent released an album this year? Yeah, he took a break from ranting about politics and generally being a trashy person to make some music again. Now we're all here to see what I thought of it!

If there's one motto I try to stick to whenever reviewing or discussing outspoken individuals in the world of Rock/Metal, it's "Judge a person by their personality and a musician by their music". In other words, regardless of how big a tosser or saint someone is in real life, your opinion of that person shouldn't affect your enjoyment of their craft as an artist. It's OK to like an album by a dickhead or, vice verse, hate an album by a genuinely decent person. However, it's always nice when the stars align and you can talk about how terrible an album by a piece of shit is...sadly, this isn't necessarily one of those times.
The Music Made Me Do It (which is probably going to be Ted's defence when he's arrested for shooting black people in a few years) is as bland and lacking in originality as you'd expect a 2018 album by Ted Nugent to be but unfortunately, it doesn't reach the point where as a casual critic you feel like you can justifiably rip it to pieces. It's got some solid riffs and solos here and there, almost certainly enough to get the average Rock fan's foot tapping along to several songs. A good example of this is the album opener and title track, "The Music Made Me Do It". It kicks things off with a bang and proves that Ted can still play guitar to a decent degree.
Not only that but the improvements in modern recording technology make the music sound cleaner and the riffs stand out more, something Ted was presumably happy with instead of choosing to put in the effort to make the material sound raw and untamed like his earlier records. Funny how Ted's willing to change with the times in some areas, huh. Anyway, the positives don't stop there. There's a good amount of musical variety for those who like slower acoustic ballads that still Rock ("Fred Bear") and faster Blues Rock numbers that maybe should've lasted a little longer ("Bigfundirtygroovenoize"), not to mention standard Hard Rock songs we've come to know Ted Nugent for ("Where Ya Gonna Run To Get Away From Yourself").

However, as I mentioned earlier, the lack of imagination in some of the songs really is telling. Ted's choice to write shorter Blues Rock tracks that rely on repetitive lyrics and riffs ("I Love Ya Too Much Baby") feels more like he couldn't be bothered to come up with a full-length track so chose to whack out generic boogie-woogie rather than spend a couple of extra hours penning a proper song. This might sound like I'm being too judgemental but when you factor in the fact that Ted's straight up copied his previous material on multiple occasions, the argument suddenly becomes a lot stronger.
Oh yes, Ted has absolutely phoned it in after realising that being out of the game for so many years tends to dry up the well of creativity. "Cocked, Locked & Ready To Rock" might sound familiar to fans of his earlier work because it quite literally copies the riffs, structure and even vocal melodies for "Stormtroopin'", a much better song from his self-titled debut that doesn't contain lyrics like "It's time to make a stand, it's time to put a gun in your hand", and tweaks them just enough to justify calling it a new song. Then there's "Backstrap Fever", a rerecording of "Cat Scratch Fever" but with altered lyrics, a slightly faster tempo and more refined riffing. Admittedly, this does result in a better song than "Cat Scratch Fever" though.
Finally, the album closer "Sunrize Fender (Fender Bass VI Solo)" is an extended version of the previous track, "Sunrize", but with different instrumentation. "Sunrize" is a great Rock instrumental that would've been the perfect album closer whereas "Sunrize Fender (Fender Bass VI Solo)" should've been a bonus track on the regular or special edition. However, since it's track 10 on a 37 minute album, it implies that Ted wanted it to be a proper song on the album. If he extended some of the shorter tunes and maybe added one or two more songs, it wouldn't have been an issue but this feels cynical. Either Ted couldn't be bothered to write more music or he was simply unable to, resulting in a smaller package that lacks the same power as contemporary Hard Rock records.
Basically, what I'm saying is Ted Nugent can't do a lot with his little package.

The Music Made Me Do It answers all of the questions you could possibly want to ask about a new Ted Nugent album. Ted can still play guitar and he knows how to write a passable Hard Rock song, although he can't keep all of his idiotic politics out of his music ("I Just Wanna Go Huntin"). He also still can't write music with any real depth to it or lasting appeal aside from good riffs/technically proficient solos. Fans of his earlier material might like some of the tracks but all in all, the album doesn't do enough to convince me that Ted Nugent should keep writing music. His best work already exists and anything else he comes out with is either generic or a rehash of his better songs from the late 70s.
I wasn't expecting a magnum opus, since Ted's claimed that this album basically came about through jam sessions, but it could've done with more time in the oven before being served. I rate it 4/10 but if Ted put more effort into some of the material, maybe it could've been a 6...or maybe the music is subconsciously making me think that Ted Nugent's mediocre work is actually great and that his politics are spot on, although I doubt that.

COMING SOON: A blog post about ten anti-Mexican and pro-arming our nation's children songs!

Simulation Theory - Muse

Well this is a first. I'm reviewing a straight-up Pop album!

If there's one thing Muse can do with their music, it's conjure feelings of nostalgia and thoughts about how good music used to be; thoughts like "Remember when Muse used to be a Rock band?" and "Remember when Matt Bellamy's ego was in check?". Simulation Theory is the tragic return to everything that sucks about Muse after the promising dead cat bounce that was Drones. Instead of great riffs on guitar/bass, we get synth-driven toss. Instead of dynamic anthems perfect for arena gigs and radio play for an audience of hungry young Rock fans, we get electronic drumbeats and noise made on some coffee-stained hipster shit's laptop.
Looking at the positives first, album opener "Algorithm" has some decent instrumentation and kicks things off in typical grand fashion for Muse. The electronic sound of the drums, bass and string accompaniments set the tone for the rest of the album too so if you like the song, you'll probably get some joy out of the record. However, for fans who can still remember when Muse wrote songs like "Hysteria", "Supermassive Black Hole" and "Knights Of Cydonia" that actually rocked, this harbinger of the band's switch back to electronic garbage teased in The Resistance and actualised in The 2nd Law won't fill you with any hope.
That's probably the biggest flaw with the album. You can argue that Muse not writing Rock songs is good or bad and that their reliance on 80s nostalgia (right down to the album cover that's more on-the-nose than an army of blackheads) helps or hinders the record but even if you choose the pessimistic route with both of those opinions, you must accept both of these things can work if the music is good and serves a decent purpose. The music and lyrics about hope and fighting back against arseholes in power are supposed to be inspiring for the millions unhappy with the current system but here's the kicker; they fuckin' ain't. A stadium Rock band releasing mainstream Pop is as inspirational as a series of flatlines in a coma ward.

The majority of tracks either resemble a dystopian Sci-Fi's cynical pastiche of what "future music" should sound like or the incidental score of a film/TV show desperate to remind people that 1980s synth music existed. However, there are some positive aspects. "Pressure" is the token fun song with catchy guitar riffs and vocal melodies, much like "Panic Station" on The 2nd Law (which was also the third track on that album too; totally not coordinated at all) and even some of the mediocre or annoying tracks contain elements that could've worked if used properly, like the gritty slide guitar riffs in the laughable Herbie Hancock nightmare "Propaganda".
Muse have acknowledged that this album was heavily inspired by music from the 80s so the Depeche Mode drumbeats ("Blockades") and John Carpenter synth ("The Void") are present without any attempt to mask them. It's admirable that Muse at least attempted to make the material sound unique to them instead of just flat-out copying another band's style but they would've been better off continuing in the direction they were headed with Drones or, at the very least, blending the 80s Pop aspects with heavier Rock ones. Instead, they end up sounding like Coldplay ("Thought Contagion") and Indie Pop bands found exclusively on the iPhone of an Instagram celebrity ("Something Human").
I rate the album 2/10. It doesn't inspire you to rise up against fascism (and if it does, where the fuck have you been for the last two years?!), it contains a collection of music that fails to stick with you unless you love electronic Pop, it sounds like Matt Bellamy regurgitating the same old lyrical shit he's been peddling for over a decade and it does 80s Pop music a disservice by dissecting it for the sole purpose of stapling the still-twitching parts to modern wank like a Frankenstein's monster you actually want to be burnt alive. Regardless of which way you shake it, Simulation Theory is a complete failure.

Post-Apocalypto - Tenacious D

What's this? I'm posting a blog post at the START of the month instead of three days before the end of it when I'm knackered and almost passing out, frantically trying to think of one more thing to include in a Here Is The News post before I go to bed? That's right, because people who leave things to the last minute always suffer as a result and speaking of leaving things too late...

From this album's announcement to its eventual release, I've been worried about Post-Apocalypto. The album cover is fucking awful, the track-listing looked like a worse version of the debut containing more minute-long snippets than actual fleshed out songs like Rize Of The Fenix and let's face it, concept albums are rarely ever a good thing. With each week, we were "treated" to an episode of Tenacious D's hit & miss web series containing skits and music included on the album but none of it filled me with anticipation. Today, the album was finally released and my God, it is absolutely terrible. It is a piece of shit and if you've never heard any Tenacious D before, you owe it to yourself to avoid this album like the fucking plague.
For starters, the album opener and (I guess) title track "POST-APOCALYPTO THEME" is a 37 second repurposed riff that was originally written for "Rize Of The Fenix" only to be scrapped in favour of a much better verse/chorus structure. That's how they're opening their fourth album; scraps off the cutting room floor that they couldn't even be bothered to turn into a full song. From here, it only gets worse. The concept album dealing with a nuclear holocaust caused by Trump is 50% dialogue excerpts and 50% songs both from the YouTube series, each track having an average length of about 90 seconds. The entire length of the album is just over half an hour, about two minutes longer than Reign In Blood - Slayer.
Tenacious D's last album came out in 2012, six years ago. This album took them six years to make, just let that sink in for a bit. Six years for a rehashed title track and half an hour of mildly amusing comedy taken from about 76 minutes of much funnier material in the YouTube series. You can't even claim that they needed extra time to animate the YouTube shorts because they're largely based around still images knocked up in Microsoft Paint. It's the equivalent of having the entire summer holiday to complete a school project only to realise that you've left it until the day before term time begins to do anything, forcing you to ask your parents to do it all with you...or in this case, Dave Grohl.

Despite each song being written by Jack Black and Kyle Gass, many tunes sound like terrible Foo Fighters filler tracks with their slower tempos and dull, uninspired riffs ("TAKE US INTO SPACE", "WOMAN TIME") and the ones that do sound more like Tenacious D songs are generally piss poor. The lyrical themes are trite without the humour to carry it off ("COLORS", "ROBOT") and the few tracks that contain promising riffs or have a couple of funny lyrics are either too short or not strong enough to redeem the rest of the album ("DADDY DING DONG", "MAKING LOVE"). However, even the better songs have fatal flaws in the grand scheme of things.
Concept albums with a narrative, like this one, should have exactly that; a narrative. If you haven't watched the YouTube series from start to finish, I think you'd genuinely struggle to understand a lot of what was happening. The overall plot is there but there are large gaps that have to be filled in by a knowledge of the YouTube series. When I discussed the previous three Tenacious D albums on the blog last year, I claimed that the music on The Pick Of Destiny doesn't carry enough of the film's story for you to understand everything that's happening but the main difference between The Pick Of Destiny and Post-Apocalypto is that The Pick Of Destiny is more of a soundtrack to the film; there aren't tracks on that album dedicated to the narrative, it's all just music. Here, the album is expected to tell a story but utterly fails.
Instead, we get a few previews of dialogue taken directly from the YouTube series that often aren't as funny due to jokes being edited down and context being completely absent, featuring multiple different characters all seemingly voiced by Jack Black. It might have been better if they could've got some other voice actors involved (Hell, even Kage would've done) but at least the scientist and Terminator voices were fun. I also approve of the band firmly stating their political policy, although all being anti-Trump does is confirm that you're not a complete cunt. Pointing out that the guy's going to get a lot of people killed with his stupidity isn't anything new or original, it's like dedicating an entire album to the idea that we're made up of bones.

If I had to describe Post-Apocalypto in a word, it'd be Lazy. They phoned in the music, they phoned in the story (notice how the ending to both the YouTube series and the album are fuckawful), they phoned in the artwork and they made us wait half a fucking decade for it. It's a bad album and a weak concept album that could've been improved if it contained a story about Tenacious D journeying across a post-apocalyptic wasteland with songs about everything that could potentially cause an extinction level event; a song about aliens, a song about global warming, a song about nukes, a song about war, a song about volcanic eruptions, a song about overpopulation tied into having lots of unprotected sex, I mean JESUS this shit should write itself!
I rate the album 3/10 and that's me being generous. The band still play properly and I didn't hate every second of it. The fact that a couple of lines made me smile now and then have earned it an extra point but honestly, this could still be one of the worst albums I've ever listened to. It may only be 30 minutes long but those 30 minutes could be spend watching an episode of a sitcom or reading a comic book or having a difficult fucking wank, anything other than listening to Post-Apocalypto. I also wouldn't recommend seeing Tenacious D live if it's going to be an acoustic gig, as you know they'll be playing the shite off this album on their next tour.
It might be entertaining with the whole band if they try to tell a story on stage (and the band definitely put on a hell of a performance when it's more than just Jables and Kage) but seriously, it pains me to say that The D screwed up. Oh well, we can always enjoy their fifth album in 2023 that will probably be a return to form in an attempt to win back favour with everyone who wanted this Comedy Rock band to release Comedy Rock.

Rapid Fire: King Crimson, Rob Zombie, Horisont

I know I said I was gonna do Living The Dream - Uriah Heep in a Rapid Fire post but that can wait; we've got three albums with spooky looking album covers to discuss, starting with this Proggy waste of time!

1. In The Court Of The Crimson King - King Crimson

I've always found this album cover to be kinda off-putting so it definitely belongs in this Rapid Fire post, especially if you imagine the contorted face of horror is reacting to a spooky ghost or something. I'll tell you something else as well; this album is NOT an easy find online. However, after searching for each song, I listened to the entire thing and can confirm that I absolutely wasted my time. This album is shit. It's worse than shit; it's long, drawn-out, pretentious, tedious, over-inflated, noisy shit. However, if there's one type of shit it isn't, it's pointless shit.
Whilst I despise every song on this godawful record, from wacky album opener "21st Century Schizoid Man" to horrific masturbation "The Court Of The Crimson King", it's a necessary evil in the world of music because this turd masquerading as "art" inspired a myriad of much greater albums and bands. Hell, it arguably created the Prog Rock genre; we have Yes, Genesis, The Moody Blues, Jethro Tull, Dream Theater, Rush, all manner of great bands who had the sense to realise you could make something long-winded and grand without sounding like something made when university students program laptop AI to make a 50 minute album.
This isn't one of those albums that you must listen to before you die; you get nothing out of it, presumably the reason why so many critics who should know better claim it's such a great album. If you don't feel anything, you're probably not getting it which means you're a stoopidhead so you better praise it to give yourself credibility. I wouldn't recommend In The Court Of The Emperor's New Clothes to anyone as it's nothing more than a misfire that happened to give us a great musical genre. If you do like this album, good for you. I don't think worse of you for liking this but nobody should think better of you either.

1. 21st Century Schizoid Man

2. I Talk To The Wind

3. Epitaph

4. Moonchild

5. The Court Of The Crimson King

ALBUM RATING - 1/10

2. Hellbilly Deluxe - Rob Zombie

This is probably more appropriate for a Halloween themed blog post, due to the deliberately scary album cover and music based off classic Horror films. This was Rob Zombie's first solo album after White Zombie and whilst the music still contains his typical sound of growling vocals, heavy riffs and thunderous percussion, Hellbilly Deluxe is definitely more of an Industrial record than Astro-Creep: 2000 or La Sexorcisto with more emphasis on synth-effects and repetitive structures than guitar solos and other traditional Rock aspects.

The album starts off with its three singles: "Superbeast", "Dragula" and "Living Dead Girl", immediately setting the tone and putting its best foot forwards with three completely different yet consistently heavy tracks. Once these have finished, the album continues to knock down doors with its fine-tuned, well-crafted Dance Metal but by the second half of the record, you'll notice some of the tracks start to drag a little (despite being under five minutes long). It's always the risk when writing an album containing variations on the same song over and over again but at least the song this album is based off is a good one.
Hellbilly Deluxe has some great songs all contained within the first half but the entire album is perfect for background noise, particularly at Halloween parties or similar environments. This is essentially Rob Zombie's shtick; heavy Industrial Metal without complexity featuring old Horror film audio snippets and growling vocals, each track carrying a name that sounds like a Goosebumps title or alcoholic beverage served exclusively at a bar where you have to cover your lid if you want to make it home that night. If you like that kind of music, you definitely won't hate this album although I think anyone would be hard-pressed to love it unless this music truly is their jam.

1. Call Of The Zombie

2. Superbeast

3. Dragula

4. Living Dead Girl

5. Perversion 99

6. Demonoid Phenomenon

7. Spookshow Baby

8. How To Make A Monster

9. Meet The Creeper

10. The Ballad Of Resurrection Joe And Rosa Whore

11. What Lurks On Channel X?

12. Return Of The Phantom Stranger

13. The Beginning Of The End

ALBUM RATING - 6/10

3. About Time - Horisont

You might see this album cover and think this is a NWOTHM album containing music similar to Iron Maiden and Anthrax but you'd be dead wrong! Despite having a somewhat creepy looking cover, it's actually a modern album by a Swedish group inspired by 70s bands such as Thin Lizzy, UFO, Rory Gallagher and Blue Oyster Cult. The album's relatively easy going despite containing such a striking cover but even though they arguably stumbled at the very first hurdle, the rest of the record is a fantastic listen.

Album opener "The Hive" starts off a bit slow and gentle for a Rock album but when it gets going, my God does it get going. Great riffs, awesome vocals and perfect use of electric piano accompaniment to give us a top quality tune (even if it does rip-off "MacArthur Park" at one point in the solo). From there, the album pumps out great music that resembles an army of Frankenstein's monsters from 70s Rock bands, ready to get your foot stomping and head nodding. We get softer songs with an acoustic flair that break into something faster paced ("Letare"), fun tracks that blend the grand riffing of Queen with the galloping rhythm of Eddie Money ("Boston Gold") and a longer, more progressive title track that brings the album to a quiet close.
Recently, I criticised the Greta Van Fleet debut for sounding like a poor attempt at copying the Led Zeppelin sound. The difference between an album like Anthem Of The Peaceful Army and About Time can be summarised by this quote from Wilson Mizner: "If you steal from one author, it's plagiarism. If you steal from many, it's research". Greta Van Fleet's music was entirely driven by skin-deep comparisons to one band whereas Horisont have taken the best aspects of a whole variety of artists to craft something that sounds distinctly theirs. I definitely recommend this album to fans of Classic Rock, although don't expect anything as heavy as Deep Purple, Led Zeppelin or the like. It still rocks but not enough to bring the house down; just a couple of loose pictures here & there.

1. The Hive

2. Electrical

3. Without Warning

4. Letare

5. Night Line

6. Point Of Return

7. Boston Gold

8. Hungry Love

9. Dark Sides

10. About Time

ALBUM RATING - 8/10

COMING SOON: Posts about the music from Spyro The Dragon...and maybe The Police.

Anthem Of The Peaceful Army - Greta Van Fleet

Hey, you know that band that sound exactly like Led Zeppelin! They wrote an album...no, not Black Smoke Rising...no, not From The Fires either. Those weren't albums. This is their first album.

When I first listened to From The Fires, I did the obvious thing of comparing them to Led Zeppelin due to the vocals and guitarwork of the Brothers Kiszka. I was excited to hear them follow the original band's progression, developing their Classic Rock grooves into mystical Folk epics and thunderous Hard Rock bangers whilst retaining what made them pure. I also claimed that their debut EP didn't sound like "a hacky tribute album" and that they added their own flair to each track. I'm reminding you of this because anyone who's listened to this album will now start to understand just how disappointed I was after listening to Anthem Of The Peaceful Army.
From start to finish, the album felt like Greta Van Fleet were writing more of a Led Zeppelin parody akin to Beatallica than a Classic Rock revival like Robert Pehrsson's Humbucker or a Rock album clearly inspired by Led Zeppelin's distinct sound like Rush's 1974 debut. It's as if the band got together, played disc one of Mothership and said "Right, I think we've got the gist of this" before writing a load of generic Bluesy lyrics and Jimmy Page riffs over the course of a single afternoon. It's not a bad album (definitely not 1.6/10) but it reeks of cynicism from either the band or an overbearing record label trying to cash in on romanticised nostalgia.
Album opener "Age Of Man" should not have kicked the record off. If anything, it should've been the closer with its slower tempo, heavier riff, longer length and dynamic build-up throughout. A Rock band's debut should proudly announce "We're here and we rock!" and whilst the band partially did that with lead single "When The Curtain Falls", a riff driven belter clearly written for radio play and general public consumption, they needed something shorter and punchier for their introduction. Luckily, we got those tracks later on in the form of "The Cold Wind" and "Lover, Leaver" but there's something missing from them.

A great song isn't just an awesome riff or memorable lyrics; it's a perfect blend of multiple contributing factors, hence why bands like Led Zeppelin and Queen are iconic. Sure, they had incredibly gifted vocalists and knew how to lay down epic riffs but the drummers and bassists played an integral part on and off the stage too. Greta Van Fleet have put all their eggs in the superficial basket of sounding like Led Zeppelin after a casual listen but when you actually focus on each aspect of the songs on the album, it feels like they were inspired by specific songs rather than the band's music as a whole.
Take Joshua Kiszka's vocals; yes, he can wail like Robert Plant and this comes in very handy now and then...but that's not all that Robert Plant did. Plant knew when to show restraint, when to actually sing. Kiszka seems limited to just shouting, even when it's completely inappropriate. "The New Day" is a great track musically but it's ruined by the shrill, abrasive vocals. Similarly, Bluesy number "Brave New World" contains some decent riffs and percussion all crafted into a cracking Hard Rock song, only for it to be spoilt by unnecessarily loud shouting in the chorus. Even the verses sound needlessly aggressive for the music, something that only becomes more obvious the more you listen to each track.
It's a shame that one of the best attributes of the band's previous work is easily the weakest here although thankfully the guitarwork is still decent. A little uninspired here and there ("Watching Over") but great when it counts and serviceable throughout. Bass and drums do their job of making the band sound like a Led Zeppelin clone, only without the creativity and spark that Jones and Bonham effortlessly channelled into their music. However, there's only so much I can criticise the band's involvement in making the album before I start to question whether this disappointment truly lies at their feet or the record label's.

Anthem Of The Peaceful Army feels like the product of executive interference more than the band running out of creative steam after only a couple of years (like Royal Blood). There's no way a Rock band gets this level of promotion and attention in the media for a debut album without record labels pulling strings and even then, they'll only do that if they think there's something to gain from it. Right now, nostalgia is in so clueless, corporate executives are obviously going to try and cash in on that before the tide turns. I wouldn't be surprised if Greta's next release sounds wildly different in response to negative reactions to the album sounding like a poor attempt at recreating Led Zeppelin II because record executives only operate on extreme ends of the spectrum.
I rate the album 5/10 for being adequate but ultimately a missed opportunity for a truly great album. When writing reviews, I try to avoid directly comparing new bands/albums with a specific band/album from the past but in this case, I think it's fair to go into similarities and differences between Greta and Led Zeppelin seeing as how their striking musical (and attempts at visual) likeness to the 70s Rock pioneers is their central gimmick and it IS a gimmick. You can compare modern bands like Wolfmother and Muse to older Classic Rock acts but at least they developed their own sound and musical style, forging their own way into the Hall Of Rock
Normally I would give bands four or five albums to establish their sound, release their "best" album and find new ways to innovate their material as they start to head into a new decade. For Greta Van Fleet, I'm actually hoping they mix things up straight away. Whilst I'd still love to hear their take on some of Led Zeppelin's more ambitious music (as the band do have a natural talent for sounding like Led Zepp that would be absolutely wasted if not utilised in one way or another), I think Album 2 needs a couple of tracks that deviate from the generic; maybe some Hard Prog or synth-based Arena Rock making up 20% and the remaining 80% being more of the same, albeit with toned down vocals and better lyrics.
All in all though, the good thing about music is you can still enjoy it with repeat listens so if you really just want good old fashioned Classic Rock with great riffs and amazing vocals, all of the original Led Zeppelin albums are readily available online and they still stand the test of time. Or to put it another way, when you want good Rock, think of Led Zeppelin, not Greta.

Living The Dream - Uriah Heep

That's right, it's a review of the brand new Slash album entitled Living The Dream, released September 21st!

...wait, what?

...

Oh. It's not the Slash album entitled Living The Dream. It's the Uriah Heep album entitled Living The Dream released exactly one week before the Slash album Living The Dream.

Uriah Heep might not be the most popular band releasing an album this month but they certainly know how to write decent music. Their latest album, Living The Dream, contains a variety of Hard Prog songs that tend to sway more towards the Prog side.
The songs are...

I mean...


Fuck it, I can't do this.
Change of plan guys, we're flipping the script!




Living The Dream - Slash featuring Myles Kennedy & The Conspirators

Today, we'll be looking at the new album from guitarist Slash, vocalist Myles Kennedy and the backing band The Conspirators. I was going to review the new album from Uriah Heep, also entitled Living The Dream, but I'm not sure I can make an entertaining review out of an album I was largely indifferent to. If you want to know my in-depth thoughts about that album, don't worry. I'll probably write about it in an upcoming Rapid Fire post.

If there's one thing that Slash has proven by now, it's that he's an incredibly competent guitar player and knows how to write a tasty riff. If there are two things he's proven, it's that he has some fuck-ugly album artwork ideas that nobody warns him about before it's too late. I mean, fucking look at it. It's like something you'd find in the candy section of a supermarket or inside a drug dealer's jacket pocket. The strange thing is, the album is apparently meant to be a sarcastic assessment of life in 2018 at the moment. We're all "living the dream" as far as world politics goes, which would've made for a pretty cool album cover if the artist hadn't snorted a load of Refreshers before coming up with this design.
Fortunately, the material contained within doesn't represent the cover and the music is still very much Slash's unique brand of guitar-driven Hard Rock with a few tweaks here and there. Album opener "The Call Of The Wild" starts off with a Southern twist but the guitarwork and exciting build up throughout sounds right at home on a Slash record, presumably to show off that Slash is still killing it on guitar but also that he's willing to try new styles out without going full Muse and abandoning the thing he's good at in favour of self-serving wank. If you read my review of the last Slash album, you'll see that I claimed Slash was beginning to try new forms of Hard Rock that weren't as guitar driven, something that remains in this album only with a few extra genres thrown into the mix for good measure too.
It's admirable that Slash found a way to innovate without straying too far from what he's good at and what people want when they pick up a Slash record. I said it before and I'll say it again; when you listen to a Slash album, you want Rock music with great guitar. Nothing more, nothing less. The worst things he can do are stray from that formula with dull piano ballads or pump out generic riffs that we've heard a million times before. Whilst he doesn't tickle the ivories just yet (I'm dreading the day that he does), there are a couple of songs sporting riffs that sound a little uninspired.

You can usually tell the songs that crew members felt were generic due to the addition of unique guitar tones to mask the fact that the riff isn't anything special ("My Antidote", "Read Between The Lines") but at least the solos are always great and you can't fault the band for at least trying to spice things up a bit with some guitar effects. In fact, out of the last three Slash albums, this one's probably the most varied as far as musical sound goes due to the addition of several Rock subgenre techniques and what the band toyed with in World On Fire.
Songs like "The One You Loved Is Gone" is more of an emotional power ballad, starting off similar to what I imagine an acoustic set by the band Poison would contain. Slash shows restraint, even during the guitar solo, and allows the band a chance to shine for a brief moment. Then there's slow Bluesy number "The Great Pretender", a song Slash probably wrote after listening to someone's monophonic ringtone of "Still Got The Blues" - Gary Moore going off. Thankfully, these slower songs don't appear that often and they're not the only examples of Slash trying out different genres.
"Driving Rain" was a great choice for the album's lead single, confidently boasting a funky rhythm, heavy guitar riff and powerful chorus that could easily belong on Apocalyptic Love or World On Fire. This is the kind of innovation that Slash should aim for, not the slower material (unless he can pull off some fine guitar work in the process). However, this album isn't all innovation; there's plenty for fans of previous material, specifically songs like "Slow Grind" that opens with some sweet bass before breaking into pure Hard Rock, "Sugar Cane" containing an action packed fast paced riff and footstomping rhythm and "Boulevard Of Broken Hearts", album closer with a touch of "Eye Of The Tiger" in the intro before bringing it home with a chorus perfect for being blasted out at a stadium gig.

Overall, Living The Dream starts to suffer in the middle but successfully turns things around in the third act. Guitar lovers have plenty to dig into and those wanting something more from Slash are given a taste at what he's capable of. Whilst I believe that Slash doesn't necessarily need to record his attempt at a Funk or Southern Rock album just yet, I'd like to hear him tackle some more musical styles blended with his signature style of Hard Rock. I would also recommend maybe cutting down the tracklist, as I feel like Slash and the band were stretched pretty thin coming up with 12 different songs when 10 would've been plenty.
If I had to pick out the weakest aspect of the album, I think I'd have to say Myles Kennedy. I've been a big champion of Myles ever since he proved he could do Axl's job better than he ever could but there were quite a few tracks here that felt like he was phoning it in a little. I'm not saying Myles has gone the way of Ian Gillan, just that he didn't bring anywhere near the same level of passion and fire that he channelled in Apocalyptic Love or World On Fire throughout the entire album. The backing band did their jobs admirably though and I know it's easy to gloss over their effort when you've got Slash and Myles at the top of the billing.
I rate the album 7/10 as it's got a lot of great stuff going for it but weaker vocals and some uninspired riffs take the score down a little, even if mixing genres and keeping stronger aspects of older songs boosts what would've been a mediocre score. I recommend the album to fans of Slash's previous work although I'd probably recommend those albums to fans of Hard Rock and maybe just a handful of songs off Living The Dream to those wanting new tunes to check out. I just hope Slash's next album has tighter Riff-Based-Rock, some more treks into different musical territories and album artwork that doesn't make me ashamed to fucking look at it.

Prequelle - Ghost

New(ish) album review time!

I've frequently discussed the fictional genre of Pop Metal and which songs/bands would qualify for such a categorisation. Whilst the album cover may scream "HEAVEH METAAAAAAL", the music on Prequelle is actually pretty damn accessible and would definitely cross into Pop Metal territories were it an actual genre. Album opener "Ashes" is a spooky synth-heavy introduction to the true album opener and lead single, "Rats". Clearly inspired by Ozzy Osbourne and sporting a winning combination of explosive riffs and catchy vocal melodies, this arena gig anthem kicks things off with confidence and style. It's a good introduction to an album that blends 80s Pop/Yacht Rock elements with Heavy Metal ones as effortlessly as Guns N' Roses blend great guitar-work with terrible vocals.
Unlike some albums that don't quite blend styles together all the way and instead write a bunch of tracks firmly belonging to one genre or the other, Prequelle's material can only be described as heavily mellow from start to finish. The lack of furious shredfest solos and pure aggression channelled into vocal performances may seem atypical for modern Metal, yet the thundering riffs and dynamic percussion go beyond your standard Hard Rock tracks.
However, if you told me years ago that I'd be listening to (and loving) an album that expertly mixed saxophone solos and Disney style twinkling glissandos with galloping guitar riffs and lyrics about the plague, I would've written you off and gone back to listening to...I dunno, Iron Maiden and Metallica and stuff, I can't remember what I was really into a couple of years ago. Point is that in a world so shitty with Rock/Metal music desperately trying to recapture the magic of the past by rewriting Led Zeppelin or AC/DC songs, it's great to hear a band that have captured a new, distinct sound (albeit one created through old influences).

So it's no secret that I really love this album and would recommend it to pretty much anyone who appreciates good music but there are a couple of minor issues here and there. For all the grandiose string/synth sections or lofty vocal performances from Tobias Forge or whatever the fuck title he's currently referring to himself as, the album sounds less like a Rock record and more like something from a broadway musical about the Phantom Of The Opera's neglected brother. This isn't a big problem for fans of that kind of music but it does create a few lulls for those who love the heavier tracks like "Miasma" and "Faith".
It's also quite possible that fans of Ghost's earlier work might not like the direction they're moving in, as their debut album contained more guitar-based Rock with lower production values. However, the lighter songs like "See The Light" and "Life Eternal" are still good, though. Plus the production and audio mix are exceptional, even if you're not stamping your foot or banging your head to the rhythm. It'd be hard to mark this album down based on that without sounding like a colossal tool; it'd be like criticising  TV shows because they've started using colour and stereo sound.
All in all, it's hard to criticise Prequelle for anything other than personal taste. I can't fault the album for its ambition, I can't fault it for its execution, I can't fault it for its technical quality, I can't fault it for its variety, I can't fault it for lacking a certain 'wow' factor and I certainly can't fault it for its lasting impression as I've been enjoying the singles from this album for over a month now. I rate it...you ready for this? 10/10! That's right, it's a brilliant album that you should all go and listen to. Apologies for the slightly shorter review but do you really want to read me banging on about how awesome this album is for another three paragraphs? Also, that time spent reading could've been time spent listening to Prequelle.

Well? What the fuck are you still doing here, GET ON SPOTIFY NOW!

Attention Attention - Shinedown

Ho hum, another month of delayed posts, by the looks of it.
Anyway, let's start things off with a review I forgot to do in May!

If I hadn't listened to Shinedown's back catalogue before listening to this album, I probably wouldn't have been so keen to give this album a try based on the first few tracks I heard. They're not bad songs but despite being heavier than singles released from their last album like "Cut The Cord" and "Black Cadillac", the amount of actual Rock songs on Attention Attention is a bit too slim. Album opener "The Entrance" is a pointless atmospheric introduction (yay concept albums!) to the true album opener "Devil", a solid lead single with heavier percussion, a great guitar riff and some catchy backing vocals in the chorus. This song's a good example of Shinedown's ability to write good Rock songs built around a single musical hook and multiple vocal melodies; it's just a shame it's not the best representative for the album to come.
As someone who liked The Sound Of Madness and Amaryllis more than Threat To Survival, it's good to hear tracks with more power translated through each instrument into proper Rock. Songs like "Pyro" and "Evolve" are energetic and contain some more aggressive vocals and riffs to kick down your ear-doors whilst title track "Attention Attention" is a good song for fans of previous material due to the slower, punchier rhythm and lack of needless experimentation. However, these Rock songs are the smoked ham and mustard between damp, mushy slices of Pop bread in this disappointment sandwich.
"Get Up" and "Special", a pair of straight-up Pop songs built around piano melodies and featuring string/synth accompaniments instead of guitar riffs and pounding percussion, might have the passion as far as songwriting goes but they'd be more at home on a Take That album, blasted out by some floppy haired twat on one of those vapid talent shows about hard-done by twenty year olds who just really want to make music for an audience of about 70 million paying customers. I'm aware that Shinedown are no strangers to the softer, more emotional material but something about these tracks felt more hollow; more commercial. That's my biggest issue with the album.

The bulk of the music would easily fall into the Pop Rock bargain bucket, right next to Fall Out Boy ("Kill Your Conscience") and Goo Goo Dolls ("Creatures"), even if the band have put their own unique twist on these tracks. "Black Soul" does a good job of compensating for the introduction with a heavy chorus but what we needed was more tracks like "Monsters" or "Darkside"; songs that are slower, still vocally driven but contain those great guitar melodies and the energy of a Rock song, even if they also feature those Pop aspects here and there.
Thankfully, the band limit their curiosity to experiment to one track at the end of the album: "The Human Radio". The bizarre mix of Electronic and Rock could've been a great song with a few more Rock elements but otherwise, it's not bad. The use of vocoders and more prominent synth melodies reminded me of Muse without the pretentiousness and it's a good song to listen to before "Brilliant", the uplifting outro and strong finish to a mediocre record...up until the last minute of noise, but you can ignore that. Despite my general panning of the more commercial aspects of the album, the band do a great job of arranging the musical variety without compromising the narrative about overcoming mental issues related to low self-esteem and negativity.
The Rock tracks have been strategically placed between Pop (Rock) numbers to avoid a monotonous sound and to give fans old and new something to get stuck into if they want to pick and choose tracks instead of enjoying it all in one sitting as intended. Plus, due to the commercial nature of the album, the mix and production values are on the upper-middle end of the Rock scale. This album definitely could've been a lot worse and whilst I wasn't hyped going into it based on Threat To Survival and what I'd heard of it so far, I don't feel like I've been insulted in the way albums with too many Pop elements like Concrete And Gold - Foo Fighters left me feeling.

From the perspective of someone who likes Rock/Metal music, Attention Attention is either an awesome Pop album or a weak Rock one. I personally would've preferred maybe one or two more (Hard) Rock tracks instead of Pop Rock or Pop songs but at least it didn't suffer from the second half slump that modern Rock/Metal albums tend to do. I rate it 5/10 and would recommend it to people who don't lean too heavily towards being a Rock or Pop fan, as it rides the line for casual listeners but won't win any prizes for either genre. However, bands like Metallica could learn a thing or two from the tracklist and musical variety; it's refreshing to hear an album that doesn't feature all the stronger material in the first 50% followed by complete and utter shite until the final track in order to trick listeners into thinking they've heard a great album.

Family Tree - Black Stone Cherry

I know I said I probably wouldn't listen to this album but I keep hearing radio adverts for it so I'm taking that as the universe's way of telling me to not only listen to Family Tree but also to review it!

Unless it's prefixed by "Dr", I generally can't stand the term "feel good". I usually find that things carrying that term don't make me feel good in the slightest BUT I'm going to make an exception on this occasion. Family Tree by Black Stone Cherry is a feel good Rock album, not because it contains families owning brand new puppies or old people being the recipient of charitable acts but because it contains a tight collection of energetic, footstomping Blues infused Southern Rock from start to finish.
Unfortunately, much like many modern Rock albums at the moment, the highlights are in the first third of the album. "Bad Habit" is a great album opener that could very well open live Black Stone Cherry gigs for many years to come, although it's a shame they had to go and ruin it with a terrible guitar solo needlessly slowing the entire song down. Luckily, "Burnin'" is able to recover some of the momentum with its catchy chorus and *shudders* feel good vibe. It helps that it sounds like one of your typical Black Stone Cherry songs, albeit a bit more upbeat.
As I said 86 words ago, these songs that come early on in the album are easily the best. They're the kind of songs designed up ramp up crowds at live venues or create a positive atmosphere in pubs/comfort dining restaurants; non-threatening but still punchy, kinda like Nickelback without the negative stigma. This is fine if you're picking and choosing individual songs but when experienced as an entire album, things start to get a little samey. The same drumbeats, the same guitar tones and the same basic structure for 13 songs...well, OK, not all 13. There are some anomalies.

For starters, "My Last Breath" stands out as having slightly higher production values than the previous tracks. There are backing vocals and non-Hard Rock instruments like electric piano in the introduction that separate it from your typical Black Stone Cherry footstomper. There's also "James Brown", a track that contains a pinch of Soul to carry the weight of the song's name and lyrics, once again using the brass musical accompaniments and gospel-like backing vocals to enhance it, and "Southern Fried Friday Night", another slow song but with more of a heavier, gritty feel to it.
However, you could argue that the small differences in these songs are mainly there to mask the fact that they're still generic Black Stone Cherry numbers...or that they were included to spice up what the band believed were pretty decent tracks, it depends on how cynical you're feeling. But even if the band were being genuine, that doesn't redeem the fact that a lot of songs are similar and therefore forgettable if you're not absolutely in love with their brand of Southern Rock. The album sounds like it's aimed at fans and general audiences but the minute differences between each track are arguably too subtle for the casual listener, not to mention borderline pointless in some cases.
"Dancin' In The Rain" makes a somewhat big deal of the fact that Warren Haynes (Southern Rock guitarist) is featured on - you guessed it - guitar...except Black Stone Cherry aren't faltering in the guitar department and what Warren brings isn't any more impressive or significant than anything else the band have already thrown at you. Then there's "You Got The Blues", a song with a bizarre introduction like something out of 80s New Romantic before returning back to your regularly scheduled sludgy Southern Rock. If you've read my reviews before, you're probably waiting for the part where I say "these songs needed faster drumbeats" and whilst I would've preferred many of them with slightly higher tempos ("Carry Me On Down The Road" is a perfect example), I'm hesitant to say that the album "needed" them.

The drummer (John Fred Young) has a couple of moments towards the end of the album where he's allowed to let loose but there aren't any fast paced tracks with furious riffing and driving rhythms...but that's OK! That's not what Black Stone Cherry are about; they're not a Hard Rock outfit, they're modern Blues based Southern Rock. It's about the quality of the music and, to a lesser extent, lyrics; the percussion is merely the skeleton from which the fleshy guitar riffs and solos songs hang. Besides, the band do an incredible job of maintaining the energy and.......
Sorry, let me try that again.
The band do an incredible job of maintaining the energy and...........feel good atmosphere of the album all the way to the finish line so increasing the speed of a couple of tracks to add more energy would be a hat on a hat, generally speaking. However, that being said, there are a couple of filler tracks that bring nothing of value to the table and possibly should've been rewritten to sound a little bit faster to the majority of what we'd already heard up to that point, just to give listeners more to enjoy ("I Need A Woman", "Get Me Over You").
Overall, Family Tree is decent. It might not be my favourite album by any means but it's not a bad collection of tunes, so long as you don't mind the occasional bit of Rock monotony around the middle. I'm welcome to be proven wrong but the biggest problem with this album is that it lacks that one great track, increasing the likelihood that it'll fade away into the band's back catalogue over the years to come. Sure, "Burnin'" is decent but it's no "Blind Man" or "In My Blood"...or even "Remember Me". Consequently, I rate it a 7/10. Strong effort and good delivery but a little too bland at times and not enough risks taken, seeing as this is the band's 6th album which is usually where bands start to innovate and..............
Fuck, I can do this, hold on.
Where bands start to innovate and.....*gags in mouth*.....experiment.

Shout Out: The Mission - Styx

Continuing the trend of discussing albums from 2017 that I weren't aware of until after I'd written about the best/worst albums of 2017, here we have a new record from Styx!

OK, I'm quite late on this one but I still feel like it deserves some attention, seeing as how I only found it through the Discover Weekly playlist on Spotify and not any of the lists about 2017 album releases I read over the last couple of years. However, I'm not reviewing it simply because I don't have an awful lot to say about it, at least not in the usual depth I go into on album reviews; hence, Shout Out! Usually Shout Out posts are dedicated to albums I really love but occasionally, I write one when I just want to bring it to people's attention. This is one of those times.
The Mission is a concept album about mankind's journey to Mars with some narrative fluff in between; your typical Prog Arena Rock affair. Whilst this may not have the passion and youthful energy that earlier Styx songs contained (arguably due to the lack of Dennis DeYoung), the band have pulled an ELO and written music to accommodate their age. The majority of tracks are slower, more atmospheric ("Radio Silence", "Time May Bend") but there are a couple of faster paced rockers in there, such as true album opener "Gone Gone Gone" and "The Outpost". Whilst there are a couple of unnecessary filler tracks designed to bridge songs with musical narrative ("Ten Thousand Ways", "All Systems Stable"), it's still a strong album that feels like it was written with the intention of creating great music, not forcing the creators back into the mainstream or making undeserved money off idiotic music magazines and their fans touting the talents of has-beens.
If you like albums that you can chill out to and listen to in the background, The Mission is perfect for you. It starts off with excitement and peacefully mellows out for the rest of the journey, not unlike the launch of a rocket to space (an artistic decision that was hopefully intentional and not me reaching). If you want an album full of "Lorelei"s and "Blue Collar Man"s, you'll be disappointed. I suppose the album opener did a poor job of setting standards from that perspective but hey, that's what I'm here for! There are far more egotistical, unnecessary examples of Prog Rock concept albums out there, although for someone like myself who prefers Rock music that actually Rocks, it's not an album I'll be revisiting any time soon.

1. Overture

2. Gone Gone Gone

3. Hundred Million Miles From Home

4. Trouble At The Big Show

5. Locomotive

6. Radio Silence

7. The Greater Good

8. Time May Bend

9. Ten Thousand Ways

10. Red Storm

11. All Systems Stable

12. Khedive

13. The Outpost

14. Mission To Mars

ALBUM RATING - 6/10

Aaaaand that's me all caught up on blog posts for the month! Bring on April...and May...and June...just keep bringing on months until everything ends.

Used Future - The Sword

Unlike Firepower, this is an album I was actually looking forward to listening to. If you're playing the Riffs And Raffs drinking game at home, take a drink every time I use the term "Stoner Rock" to get absolutely tanked!

If you asked me what I made of The Sword half a decade ago, I would've given them glowing praise. They were the kings of riff based Heavy Metal, magnificent bastards of Doom Rock and generally pretty fucking awesome at their craft. Since then, they begun their transition from Heavy Metal to Stoner Rock with the High Country album but there were still a couple of heavier tracks to enjoy. Used Future marks the complete metamorphosis into Stoner Rock by removing the aggressive Metal elements and replacing them with synth and Prog touches. Sure, the music's still good but it's a shame we had to lose a stellar Heavy Metal band to gain a great Hard Rock one.
Album opener "Prelude" is a pointless introduction to "Deadly Nightshade", the true album opener. Not only is it a good song but it's a great way of reminding fans about their new sound that's clearly here to stay; it's The Sword's blend of riff based Hard Rock with a cosmic touch. It's also a great choice for the lead single, as it's an easily accessible track from the album and the start of an unofficial trilogy of three songs that could very well be part of one Prog Rock movement, similar to the seven sections of "2112" - Rush. Whilst this album contains fuzzy bass, epic riffs and dynamic percussion throughout, "Deadly Nightshade", "Twilight Sunrise" and "The Wild Sky" run along so perfectly that they could quite easily be repackaged as a 10 minute epic. This is good news if you like the complete album experience but not so much if you want powerful precision strikes of great music.
This whole album feels like it was supposed to be enjoyed in one sitting; again, not unlike Prog Rock albums of the past. When I revisited a couple of songs just to brush up on the material, they often started abruptly due to continuing on from the previous song, which can be a little annoying if you just want to listen to a couple of favourites off the album. There are some highlights here and there if you enjoyed the Classic Rock style tracks from High Country such as "Brown Mountain", instrumental album closer that likely borrowed the riff from "Wheel In The Sky" - Journey without realising, and "Used Future", title track that could easily be a repurposed cover of a 70s B-side from [AOR BAND NAME HERE], but the majority of tracks are written to blend into the next one in order to carry you through your drug-fuelled musical odyssey. I know I've referred to this album as Stoner Rock but I don't think I've come across such a blatant example of the genre as this in a while.

As a result of this, certain aspects feel a little bit irritating if you just want to enjoy the album without hitting the dank load. For example, in this 13 song album, there are THREE non-songs. "Prelude", "Intermezzo" and "Reprise", all of which are terrible. "Intermezzo" is a moody synth-based interlude that adds nothing but padding and "Reprise" borrows the outro from "Come And Gone" to round off the album that could've quite happily concluded with "Brown Mountain". It comes across as arty-farty when you look at the song titles and general feel of each track but I guess you won't mind if you're high off your tits when listening to the album.
However, this desire to "experiment" has produced some gems. "Sea Of Green" and "Come And Gone" are tracks I never would've expected to hear on a record by The Sword and yet they work incredible well, offering slower Blues and Psychedelic Rock tunes to the categorically Hard Rock ones. There are also subtle features that amplify the quality of the music like the slow-burn build up of the bass and percussion in "Nocturne" or the more delicate mix during verses in "Book Of Thoth" to differentiate the song from previous Stoner Rock material. It's small changes like this that make a big difference, especially when compared to albums that get stale due to their lack of creativity around the halfway point.
Maybe producer Tucker Martine is the one to thank for that but either way, the band knew what they were doing. There may have been a couple of pretentious missteps here and there but as long as the music you're putting out is good and well crafted, this is how you get away with a bit of musical pomposity without coming across as a bunch of wankers (Queens Of The Stone Age, take note!); small steps towards a desired destination, not applying all the changes at once or assuming fans want to hear you sonically jacking off. In this case, The Sword applied synth aspects to Apocryphon, started focusing more on Hard Rock with High Country before putting out Hard Prog with Used Future, all the while improving their weaker aspects like vocals and the overall mix of material.

Used Future isn't my favourite album by The Sword (as I'll always take Heavy Metal over Stoner Rock) but this could be their most creative and ambitious to date. It's a shame that they've chosen this direction to follow as I still think they're at their strongest when blasting out thunderous riffs or creating battle anthems for frost giants but at least the album wasn't a complete disaster like whatever Muse put out before Drones. It's a tough one to rate as I doubt I'm personally going to revisit tracks as often as I have done for High Country (a 7/10, according to my review) but I do think they should be praised for their efforts and successes in recording a well oiled machine of Stoner Rock.
I'm gonna give it a 7/10 again as I feel the criticisms about pretentious aspects from the band that gave us "Fire Lances Of The Ancient Hyperzephyrians" go beyond my opinion and into critique. Plus, I'm going to apply the general rule I have for concerts, sports and entertainment based events to this album; if you have to get wasted to enjoy it, it's probably not that great. In this case, you're better off getting high as fuck, just like High Country, but unlike High Country there aren't songs that stand out when you're not baked in the same way "The Dreamthieves", "High Country" or "Empty Temples" did. Out of interest, if any of my readers do partake in the occasional marijuana puff, feel free to listen to this album and let me know if it blew your mind or if I'm just talking out my arse with all this Stoner Rock stuff.
Also, get a damn job, hippie!

Firepower - Judas Priest

It's finally here! The latest Judas Priest album since Redeemer Of Souls! Let's see how it holds up against some of their other records! This is how my blog posts work!

Thank fuck for this album, we needed some good quality Metal again!
Firepower is Judas Priest's attempt at recapturing their old magic in an attempt to release another "classic" album; in fact, I'm pretty sure the cover art is a continuation of their Screaming For Vengeance album cover. However, much like their last record, this one starts off incredibly strong but loses steam around the halfway point. Album opener, title track and second single "Firepower" is no "Dragonaut" (even if it does sound vocally similar in the chorus) but it's still a great song. There's a fast Metal rhythm with some heavy riffs to get you headbanging from the start but it's arguably not the best representation of the rest of the album.
Much like "Hardwired" off the latest Metallica album, it builds a false sense of speed and power that you expect is going to be maintained throughout the entire record and yes, whilst the first few tracks are some of the strongest, it's a shame that the loss of energy is not only painfully apparent but seemingly permanent. We start off with tracks containing Maidenesque galloping rhythms ("Lightning Strike") and elements from previous songs like "One Shot At Glory" and "Night Crawler" off the Painkiller album ("Evil Never Dies") and, naturally, there are a couple of great character-based songs that Judas Priest are easily the Heavy Metal masters of ("Necromancer", "Flame Thrower").
Even the slower songs like "Never The Heroes" stand out with more of an 80s Hard Rock feel due to the synth intro and less emphasis on epic riffs, all working in favour of the album. However, we then get to "Guardians", a moody instrumental introduction to "Rising From Ruins" that probably shouldn't have been its own song. This is where the album starts to drag a little as Scott Travis, previously one of my all-time favourite drummers, starts to get a bit tired and rely a little too much on the slow and steady rhythms. The songs from here one are decent but sometimes go on a little too long and neglect to shake things up a bit with energy bursts or progressive sections, resulting in lesser quality material that could've been salvaged with a much needed burst of action ("Traitors Gate", "Spectre").

All in all, plodding Metal tracks aside, the album's still good to listen to. Even if Scott Travis may be waning slightly, he's still keeping the time and helping the great tracks become a little bit more awesome. I'm always going to prefer Judas Priest's fast tempo tracks over their slower ones (especially if they include Blues elements like "Lone Wolf", definitely not what I want to hear in this Heavy Metal album) but as long as those slower tracks have epic riffs and vocals, I can dig it. Thankfully, the rest of the band are still able to produce high quality riffs and falsetto screeches comparable to their earlier material although once again they've decided to end the album on slow epic "Sea Of Red" rather than a rousing explosion of Metal like, say, "No Surrender".
I complained about their choice to end Redeemer Of Souls on a power ballad and whilst this is nowhere near as bad, it's still a weak way to end an album. It feels more like an exhausted exhale than the BANG needed to leave fans with a great impression. If you're going to end on a slow and epic note, it needs to stand apart from the other epics on your album. It needs to feel like the band have pushed themselves to create something awesome, not just stuck one of their filler tracks at the end. Compare some of the album closers Iron Maiden have put out like "Rime Of The Ancient Mariner", "Hallowed Be Thy Name" and "Empire Of The Clouds" with "Sea Of Red". Iron Maiden know that the last song should leave a lasting impression, whether it's with sheer length or grand ambition, something Judas Priest have clearly forgotten about in the last decade.
It's quite tricky to talk about Firepower in as much length as other albums as there's not an awful lot to say that will give you necessary information or differentiate it from other records by older bands who are still going to this date, so let's list off the key points. The first half is great, the second half is weak but not bad. The songs sound like a healthy blend of classic songwriting and modern recording technology/instrumentation. Judas Priest aren't ready to throw in the towel yet but equally they're not booting down doors and announcing to the world that they're here to stay. This album feels like a well crafted effort but won't be remembered as one of the band's strongest entries, hence I rate it 6/10.
Maybe the better tracks will grow on me over time but I've had about a week to enjoy this album and I still can't really hum any of the riffs or clearly imagine the melodies in the same way I could after listening to Dystopia - Megadeth. On the plus side, at least Judas Priest didn't try to rip off fans with a deluxe edition containing nothing but a fancy cover and a lyric booklet...


Oh?


Oh.