The Music Made Me Do It - Ted Nugent

Did you know that Crazy Ted Nugent released an album this year? Yeah, he took a break from ranting about politics and generally being a trashy person to make some music again. Now we're all here to see what I thought of it!

If there's one motto I try to stick to whenever reviewing or discussing outspoken individuals in the world of Rock/Metal, it's "Judge a person by their personality and a musician by their music". In other words, regardless of how big a tosser or saint someone is in real life, your opinion of that person shouldn't affect your enjoyment of their craft as an artist. It's OK to like an album by a dickhead or, vice verse, hate an album by a genuinely decent person. However, it's always nice when the stars align and you can talk about how terrible an album by a piece of shit is...sadly, this isn't necessarily one of those times.
The Music Made Me Do It (which is probably going to be Ted's defence when he's arrested for shooting black people in a few years) is as bland and lacking in originality as you'd expect a 2018 album by Ted Nugent to be but unfortunately, it doesn't reach the point where as a casual critic you feel like you can justifiably rip it to pieces. It's got some solid riffs and solos here and there, almost certainly enough to get the average Rock fan's foot tapping along to several songs. A good example of this is the album opener and title track, "The Music Made Me Do It". It kicks things off with a bang and proves that Ted can still play guitar to a decent degree.
Not only that but the improvements in modern recording technology make the music sound cleaner and the riffs stand out more, something Ted was presumably happy with instead of choosing to put in the effort to make the material sound raw and untamed like his earlier records. Funny how Ted's willing to change with the times in some areas, huh. Anyway, the positives don't stop there. There's a good amount of musical variety for those who like slower acoustic ballads that still Rock ("Fred Bear") and faster Blues Rock numbers that maybe should've lasted a little longer ("Bigfundirtygroovenoize"), not to mention standard Hard Rock songs we've come to know Ted Nugent for ("Where Ya Gonna Run To Get Away From Yourself").

However, as I mentioned earlier, the lack of imagination in some of the songs really is telling. Ted's choice to write shorter Blues Rock tracks that rely on repetitive lyrics and riffs ("I Love Ya Too Much Baby") feels more like he couldn't be bothered to come up with a full-length track so chose to whack out generic boogie-woogie rather than spend a couple of extra hours penning a proper song. This might sound like I'm being too judgemental but when you factor in the fact that Ted's straight up copied his previous material on multiple occasions, the argument suddenly becomes a lot stronger.
Oh yes, Ted has absolutely phoned it in after realising that being out of the game for so many years tends to dry up the well of creativity. "Cocked, Locked & Ready To Rock" might sound familiar to fans of his earlier work because it quite literally copies the riffs, structure and even vocal melodies for "Stormtroopin'", a much better song from his self-titled debut that doesn't contain lyrics like "It's time to make a stand, it's time to put a gun in your hand", and tweaks them just enough to justify calling it a new song. Then there's "Backstrap Fever", a rerecording of "Cat Scratch Fever" but with altered lyrics, a slightly faster tempo and more refined riffing. Admittedly, this does result in a better song than "Cat Scratch Fever" though.
Finally, the album closer "Sunrize Fender (Fender Bass VI Solo)" is an extended version of the previous track, "Sunrize", but with different instrumentation. "Sunrize" is a great Rock instrumental that would've been the perfect album closer whereas "Sunrize Fender (Fender Bass VI Solo)" should've been a bonus track on the regular or special edition. However, since it's track 10 on a 37 minute album, it implies that Ted wanted it to be a proper song on the album. If he extended some of the shorter tunes and maybe added one or two more songs, it wouldn't have been an issue but this feels cynical. Either Ted couldn't be bothered to write more music or he was simply unable to, resulting in a smaller package that lacks the same power as contemporary Hard Rock records.
Basically, what I'm saying is Ted Nugent can't do a lot with his little package.

The Music Made Me Do It answers all of the questions you could possibly want to ask about a new Ted Nugent album. Ted can still play guitar and he knows how to write a passable Hard Rock song, although he can't keep all of his idiotic politics out of his music ("I Just Wanna Go Huntin"). He also still can't write music with any real depth to it or lasting appeal aside from good riffs/technically proficient solos. Fans of his earlier material might like some of the tracks but all in all, the album doesn't do enough to convince me that Ted Nugent should keep writing music. His best work already exists and anything else he comes out with is either generic or a rehash of his better songs from the late 70s.
I wasn't expecting a magnum opus, since Ted's claimed that this album basically came about through jam sessions, but it could've done with more time in the oven before being served. I rate it 4/10 but if Ted put more effort into some of the material, maybe it could've been a 6...or maybe the music is subconsciously making me think that Ted Nugent's mediocre work is actually great and that his politics are spot on, although I doubt that.

COMING SOON: A blog post about ten anti-Mexican and pro-arming our nation's children songs!

Tenology: Inferior Signature Songs

Every band worth their salt has at least one signature song, one track that you automatically think of when someone mentions that band. Signature songs don't necessarily or exclusively mean "most popular tracks" or "highest selling singles", they're just songs that are closely associated with that band for any variety of reasons.
Sometimes, the signature song is a perfect representation of the band's material and generally does contain riffs, solos or lyrics regarded as some of the band's finest, e.g. "Free Bird" - Lynyrd Skynyrd or "Highway To Hell" - AC/DC. However, there are instances where a band's signature song divides opinion and fans of the band will happily list a string of tracks they believe to be greater or more deserving of critical acclaim.
This blog post will take a look at ten signature songs I believe have been wrongfully assigned, as well as tracks I would consider more noteworthy or better suited when compared to the rest of the band's back catalogue. Naturally, some of you are bound to disagree with my opinions on these songs so feel free to correct/educate me in the comment section if there are signature songs you believe need adjusting.


1. "Smells Like Teen Spirit" - Nirvana
I don't think I've ever liked this song but I would feel more confident arguing that it's a poor signature song over a poor song in general. Nirvana are widely regarded as the signature band for the entire Grunge genre so you'd think their signature song would be a Grunge staple, right? Wrong. It's basically Alternative with a mainstream Rock riff, not to mention a shitty solo that copies the vocal melody. It sounds like a song that was deliberately written to be top of the charts, flying in the face of the Grunge movement.
If I had to pick a Nirvana track that should be their signature song over this...hmm, tricky choice. Tracks like "Lithium" or "Heart Shaped Box" sound more like Nirvana classics that reflect the rest of their music to me. On a personal level, I prefer songs like "Breed" or "Very Ape" but I know they're poor choices for signature songs.


2. "Cat Scratch Fever" - Ted Nugent
Fuck me, this riff is boring. Not only that but everything else sounds fatigued and dull too, from the simple drumbeat to the tired vocals. Say what you want about The Nuge's wacky personality and asshole politics but if there's one thing he can do properly, it's write killer guitar licks. Songs like "The Great White Buffalo" - Ted Nugent's Amboy Dukes or "Just What The Doctor Ordered" from his first solo album are perfect for lovers of guitar-based Hard Rock, the polar opposite of this song that sounds like it was hastily cobbled together so Ted could clock in some extra hours at the shooting range instead.
Which songs are superior to this one? Well, most of them, if I'm honest. However, I reckon "Stormtroopin'" is a perfect signature song. Great riff? Yup. Tidy structure? Check. Passable solo perfect for casual listeners? Three for three! You could argue "Stranglehold" is one of Ted's signature songs too but I wouldn't rate that song highly either, as I tend to nod off after the third minute of listening to it.


3. "I Want You To Want Me" - Cheap Trick
I'm pretty sure Cheap Trick aren't huge fans of this song either, considering how much they've changed it since originally recording it. Compare the tame Beatlesque sound to the rougher edged live version from At Budoken or recent live performances and you can tell the band weren't happy with the song. To me, it doesn't seem right that a band's signature song is one they weren't happy with (note that this is different to when a band gradually falls out of love with their signature song, such as Led Zeppelin's "Stairway To Heaven"), especially when said song doesn't showcase the band at their best.
Want some great Cheap Trick tunes? "Stiff Competition" and "He's A Whore" are underrated should-be Rock classics but I reckon "Surrender" is a far better signature song, even if I don't personally like it that much. It's catchy, it's more of a Rock song and it's one of their biggest hits, if not THE biggest.


4. "Jump" - Van Halen
I've talked about this song on the blog before and I still believe it's an "upbeat, Hard Pop poster child for the Disney generation's definition of "Rock"" that barely begins to reflect the band's music. It's too clean and friendly to represent Van Halen, not to mention the fact that the main riff and half of the solo is played on a fucking synth. I'd be curious to hear what the song actually sounds like played entirely on guitar, although I reckon it wouldn't sound much better anyway.
To be honest, you could pick practically any of Van Halen's singles and choose a more appropriate signature song than "Jump" but to save you some time, I'd vote for either "Runnin' With The Devil", "Hot For Teacher" or "Ain't Talkin' 'Bout Love". I guess "Eruption" would also fit the bill, if you can call that a song. Signature solo, easily. Signature song, doubtful.


5. "Wheels Of Steel" - Saxon
I personally believe Saxon's lack of success when compared to other British Metal bands is due to this song being so popular. It's a mediocre Metal track designed to be played on the radio and destined to be used on Hard Rock compilation albums, nothing more or less. The riff is simple, the solo is basic and the song's structure gets repetitive pretty fast. The average Metal fan wanting to learn more about Saxon would probably write them off as a generic outfit if this was the first song they listened to.
However, anyone who's given the band a fair chance will tell you that they have much, MUCH better material that truly represents their sound and aggression. Songs like "Princess Of The Night" and "Power And The Glory" (even if the latter is a little similar to "2 Minutes To Midnight" - Iron Maiden) should come straight to mind when you think of Saxon, even "747 (Strangers In The Night)" would do.


6. "Don't Stop Believin'" - Journey
Another song I've discussed before and another song that is too "Disney" to be reflect this Arena Rock band. I'm aware the show Glee shot this song back into mainstream popularity but it was hardly a B-side before that fucking show or even before Family Guy used it once. What I can't understand is why this track became Journey's signature song. It's not based around an epic riff or solo (in fact, the song's chord sequence has been recycled throughout Rock since Pachelbel's Canon) and the lyrical themes are pretty trite, even for 80's Arena Rock standards.
Compare this to tracks such as "Wheel In The Sky" with better overall guitarwork or "Any Way You Want It" with much more of an upbeat sound. Hell, even "Stone In Love" from the same album would've been more enjoyable to listen to, although probably less enjoyable to sing along to.


7. "Master Of Puppets" - Metallica
Don't get me wrong, I like this track! It's loaded with awesome riffs and the first section of the song is a perfect example of Metal done right. However, I would argue that this is a poor signature song for the band. Most Metallica songs start with a soft section before getting more aggressive, whereas this track starts fast and slows everything down in the middle. Also, I still maintain the controversial opinion that this song has a pretty weak solo. It takes ages to build up and then it's over before you know it, unlike other Metallica songs that get the balance between song and solo spot on.
It's tricky to nail which songs would be better suited, as the band has two distinct sounds. If you want a signature song to reflect the band's Thrash Metal material across their first four albums, something like "Battery" would probably be more suitable. However, if you want a signature song for the band's music that softened into plain old Metal, "Enter Sandman" is the only track to choose.


8. "Aqualung" - Jethro Tull
Again, I can't fault the track from a standalone viewpoint. Perfect solo, decent riff, great structure, a top notch song. However, anyone who's listened to more than about four Jethro Tull songs will tell you that "Aqualung" is the odd one out. For starters, it actually has a proper guitar solo. It's also pretty fast paced during the middle section. Oh, and then there's the matter of the missing flute! Ian Anderson's flutework is a staple of Jethro Tull's music in itself so a track that lacks it seems like an odd choice for the band's signature song, even if it is a great song.
When it comes to Prog Rock, signature songs aren't really commonplace unless it's one of those Prog-Gone-Pop bands such as Genesis or Yes. Jethro Tull never really went as Pop as other bands in the same genre but if I had to pick some replacement signature songs, I'd probably go with "Living In The Past" or "Locomotive Breath".


9. "Since You Been Gone" - Rainbow
After Richie Blackmore left Deep Purple and formed Rainbow with Ronnie James Dio, he essentially created another Deep Purple but with more fantasy-inspired lyrics and complex music. This wouldn't be a problem except for the fact that "Since You Been Gone" is the band's most well known song among casual Rock fans. This song is as basic as they come with a simplistic riff and catchy chorus, likely written due to the departure of Ronnie James Dio. It's not a bad song but it's nowhere near as awesome as the average Rainbow song.
Even tracks written after this had better riffs and solos more appropriate for Rainbow. Songs such as "Stargazer", "Kill The King" and "Long Live Rock & Roll" should spring to mind when you think of Rainbow, not this track.


10. "Paranoid" - Black Sabbath
Much like other songs/bands on this list, this is one of several signature songs belonging to the group. However, unlike those entries, I've started to run out of ideas by number 10 on this list so stick with me through this and we can make it to the end together. I like "Paranoid" and Black Sabbath but when you listen to this track in comparison to the rest of the band's material, I would argue that it isn't as representative of their pioneering Heavy Metal music.
Obviously "War Pigs" and "Iron Man" are regarded as some of the other signature songs but if I had to rank them in any order, "Paranoid" would either be right at the bottom or not at all. Superb track but not as heavy as better known tunes by the band.

Once again, let me know if there are any inferior signature songs you believe I've missed either on the comment section or via Twitter.