Spyro Reignited Trilogy

Hurrah, it's finally here! The Spyro the Dragon remake/remaster + that did a much better job of recapturing the pure joy of the original trilogy whilst improving on it for a 21st century audience than the N. Sane Trilogy did for Crash Bandicoot. I could talk about small but significant gameplay tweaks and how the handling feels spot on (for the most part) but that's not why you're here. You're here to hear my verdict on the game's soundtrack!

Originally composed by Stewart Copeland, the music for the first three Spyro The Dragon games was magical and, at times, a little abstract. Rather than focusing on catchy melodies and hooks in the same way that platforming video games of the time were adept at, Copeland instead built the music around a few distinct tunes reworked across several different areas and focused on a more ambient feel to suit the level's environment...although that's not to say he didn't also compose some bloody catchy melodies now and then.
Unlike my three-part look at the music from the N. Sane Trilogy, I intend to write a much longer blog post looking at the overall highs and lows of all three games. In other words, a review. I'm reviewing all three rerecorded soundtracks in one post whilst also making comparisons to the original where appropriate. My main reasoning for this is that unlike the N. Sane Trilogy where the game's soundtrack needed a more in-depth look to accommodate for the various changes made to certain tunes, Toys For Bob (the trilogy's developer) have tried to remain faithful to the original sound, even going as far as to re-enlist Stewart Copeland to help with the arrangements.
So with that in mind, let's take off!

Before this game came out, I went back to the original soundtracks for all three Spyro games and had a good listen to some of my favourite tracks to remind me about what I loved so much about Copeland's score. What impressed me most was how Copeland gave each game a distinct sound whilst still retaining the feel of a game series about a spunky purple dragon travelling across magical realms on heroic adventures, starting with 1998's Spyro The Dragon. The music sounded magical yet was recorded with primarily Rock instruments; heavy bass, various guitars, pounding percussion, organs galore. Sure, there were touches of brass and strings here & there, but the highlights were often tracks with a wide-eyed sense of wonder about them (Dark Passage, Magic Crafters Home) or a bit of a punch to them (Terrace Village, Haunted Towers).
One year later and Spyro 2: Ripto's Rage (or Gateway To Glimmer depending on your region) was released. More Spyro action with even more ambitious music, containing all the same tropes from the original game whilst taking on various styles from all over the world. Starting with Glimmer, you can tell that Stewart Copeland still had plenty of creative steam left but right after that, you get levels like Colossus and Hurricos; the former utilising some neat Gregorian chanting on top of the guitar melodies whilst the latter perfectly balances heavier, mechanical sound effects on top of a simplistic background score. Each piece of music perfectly suits the level, whether it's the Arabian flair in Scorch or the bustling, futuristic sound of Metropolis.
Finally, we have Spyro: Year Of The Dragon (my personal favourite game AND soundtrack). I don't know if it was the need to make Spyro seem edgier to the 00s generation of gamers but the music definitely took on more of an Industrial tone in this game. Some of the first levels you play contain music fit for Matrix-inspired parkour videos like Cloud Spires and Molten Crater, not to mention the sharply more aggressive boss battle themes. Even the more familiar tunes like Sunny Villa and Frozen Altars have an unmistakable edge to them but as mentioned earlier, the soundtrack is still that of a Spyro game. The organs and heavy bass are still there, although they had to share the spotlight with computer-generated sound effects.

I may not have adored the music from the original Spyro trilogy but I definitely enjoyed the majority of tracks from each level (although I strongly dislike Sgt. Byrd's theme) and there were certainly some pieces of music that I would listen to on repeat where possible (Harbour Speedway, Scorch and of course, the incredible Credits theme to name a few). Listening to those pieces of music in the Reignited Trilogy was a mostly enjoyable experience although there were a couple of times where I had to flip the sound settings to "Original" instead of "Reignited" simply because I felt like Toys For Bob had completely fucked up the rerecordings. This is where my doubt about whether I liked the new music came in.
Fans of the original source material are always going to have the nostalgia factor weighing down their judgement so even though I prefer 100% of the original versions of songs I loved from the Spyro trilogy, most of the music that I was happily comfortable with but never religiously fanatic about sounds just as good (if not a bit better) in the Reignited Trilogy. Instrumentation is largely identical to the point that I was genuinely unsure if I'd left the settings on "Original" or "Reignited" a lot of the time and listening to each track in HD on YouTube whilst writing this review really does the enhanced soundtrack a lot of favours, although they still made the same mistake Vicarious Visions made with the N. Sane Trilogy in not whacking the bass up to 11 or beyond.
Every other observation about the game's soundtrack could be considered a positive or negative depending on your personal music tastes, e.g. the fact that Toys For Bob developed the trilogy as one game so the graphics, gameplay engine and soundtrack all feel the same across all three remade titles. The subtle changes in the original trilogy's soundtrack seem obvious in comparison to the differences between the rerecordings but again, this is probably only going to affect the purists who avidly listened to the original music and would gladly fork over half their paycheck to have the original collection on vinyl if that were possible.

Overall, the Reignited Trilogy's soundtrack reflects the game; newcomers will love it for its incredible charm and creativity whilst those who grew up with the originals and played them all to 337% completion repeatedly will always choose the classics over the remakes, even though they'll still enjoy the remasters a hell of a lot. If I had to rate the entire trilogy's soundtrack, I'd probably give it a 8/10 for doing the originals justice although still making a few fumbles along the way...like the Fracture Hills rerecording. I mean, it's just...the fuck were they thinking?!

Rapid Fire: King Crimson, Rob Zombie, Horisont

I know I said I was gonna do Living The Dream - Uriah Heep in a Rapid Fire post but that can wait; we've got three albums with spooky looking album covers to discuss, starting with this Proggy waste of time!

1. In The Court Of The Crimson King - King Crimson

I've always found this album cover to be kinda off-putting so it definitely belongs in this Rapid Fire post, especially if you imagine the contorted face of horror is reacting to a spooky ghost or something. I'll tell you something else as well; this album is NOT an easy find online. However, after searching for each song, I listened to the entire thing and can confirm that I absolutely wasted my time. This album is shit. It's worse than shit; it's long, drawn-out, pretentious, tedious, over-inflated, noisy shit. However, if there's one type of shit it isn't, it's pointless shit.
Whilst I despise every song on this godawful record, from wacky album opener "21st Century Schizoid Man" to horrific masturbation "The Court Of The Crimson King", it's a necessary evil in the world of music because this turd masquerading as "art" inspired a myriad of much greater albums and bands. Hell, it arguably created the Prog Rock genre; we have Yes, Genesis, The Moody Blues, Jethro Tull, Dream Theater, Rush, all manner of great bands who had the sense to realise you could make something long-winded and grand without sounding like something made when university students program laptop AI to make a 50 minute album.
This isn't one of those albums that you must listen to before you die; you get nothing out of it, presumably the reason why so many critics who should know better claim it's such a great album. If you don't feel anything, you're probably not getting it which means you're a stoopidhead so you better praise it to give yourself credibility. I wouldn't recommend In The Court Of The Emperor's New Clothes to anyone as it's nothing more than a misfire that happened to give us a great musical genre. If you do like this album, good for you. I don't think worse of you for liking this but nobody should think better of you either.

1. 21st Century Schizoid Man

2. I Talk To The Wind

3. Epitaph

4. Moonchild

5. The Court Of The Crimson King

ALBUM RATING - 1/10

2. Hellbilly Deluxe - Rob Zombie

This is probably more appropriate for a Halloween themed blog post, due to the deliberately scary album cover and music based off classic Horror films. This was Rob Zombie's first solo album after White Zombie and whilst the music still contains his typical sound of growling vocals, heavy riffs and thunderous percussion, Hellbilly Deluxe is definitely more of an Industrial record than Astro-Creep: 2000 or La Sexorcisto with more emphasis on synth-effects and repetitive structures than guitar solos and other traditional Rock aspects.

The album starts off with its three singles: "Superbeast", "Dragula" and "Living Dead Girl", immediately setting the tone and putting its best foot forwards with three completely different yet consistently heavy tracks. Once these have finished, the album continues to knock down doors with its fine-tuned, well-crafted Dance Metal but by the second half of the record, you'll notice some of the tracks start to drag a little (despite being under five minutes long). It's always the risk when writing an album containing variations on the same song over and over again but at least the song this album is based off is a good one.
Hellbilly Deluxe has some great songs all contained within the first half but the entire album is perfect for background noise, particularly at Halloween parties or similar environments. This is essentially Rob Zombie's shtick; heavy Industrial Metal without complexity featuring old Horror film audio snippets and growling vocals, each track carrying a name that sounds like a Goosebumps title or alcoholic beverage served exclusively at a bar where you have to cover your lid if you want to make it home that night. If you like that kind of music, you definitely won't hate this album although I think anyone would be hard-pressed to love it unless this music truly is their jam.

1. Call Of The Zombie

2. Superbeast

3. Dragula

4. Living Dead Girl

5. Perversion 99

6. Demonoid Phenomenon

7. Spookshow Baby

8. How To Make A Monster

9. Meet The Creeper

10. The Ballad Of Resurrection Joe And Rosa Whore

11. What Lurks On Channel X?

12. Return Of The Phantom Stranger

13. The Beginning Of The End

ALBUM RATING - 6/10

3. About Time - Horisont

You might see this album cover and think this is a NWOTHM album containing music similar to Iron Maiden and Anthrax but you'd be dead wrong! Despite having a somewhat creepy looking cover, it's actually a modern album by a Swedish group inspired by 70s bands such as Thin Lizzy, UFO, Rory Gallagher and Blue Oyster Cult. The album's relatively easy going despite containing such a striking cover but even though they arguably stumbled at the very first hurdle, the rest of the record is a fantastic listen.

Album opener "The Hive" starts off a bit slow and gentle for a Rock album but when it gets going, my God does it get going. Great riffs, awesome vocals and perfect use of electric piano accompaniment to give us a top quality tune (even if it does rip-off "MacArthur Park" at one point in the solo). From there, the album pumps out great music that resembles an army of Frankenstein's monsters from 70s Rock bands, ready to get your foot stomping and head nodding. We get softer songs with an acoustic flair that break into something faster paced ("Letare"), fun tracks that blend the grand riffing of Queen with the galloping rhythm of Eddie Money ("Boston Gold") and a longer, more progressive title track that brings the album to a quiet close.
Recently, I criticised the Greta Van Fleet debut for sounding like a poor attempt at copying the Led Zeppelin sound. The difference between an album like Anthem Of The Peaceful Army and About Time can be summarised by this quote from Wilson Mizner: "If you steal from one author, it's plagiarism. If you steal from many, it's research". Greta Van Fleet's music was entirely driven by skin-deep comparisons to one band whereas Horisont have taken the best aspects of a whole variety of artists to craft something that sounds distinctly theirs. I definitely recommend this album to fans of Classic Rock, although don't expect anything as heavy as Deep Purple, Led Zeppelin or the like. It still rocks but not enough to bring the house down; just a couple of loose pictures here & there.

1. The Hive

2. Electrical

3. Without Warning

4. Letare

5. Night Line

6. Point Of Return

7. Boston Gold

8. Hungry Love

9. Dark Sides

10. About Time

ALBUM RATING - 8/10

COMING SOON: Posts about the music from Spyro The Dragon...and maybe The Police.

Showdown: Homages/Rip Offs 6 - Video Game edition Level 2

Is the title confusing enough for you?
Basically, two years ago I wrote a blog post looking at similarities between 10 Rock/Metal songs and 10 video game tunes whilst offering my opinion on whether the latter piece of music was a knowing wink to the original, a surreptitious copy of an existing track or a pure coincidence. Well, I'm doing another one! I'll also be giving my verdict on which song I believe is better based on personal taste, which came first and which tune sounds more appropriate for its medium.
Listed in each round will be the band and video game franchise, followed by the specific song and level or piece of music from aforementioned video game. I'll try to mention the game and (if I can find the information online) composer for said piece of music. There won't be a Spotify playlist for this as most of the video game tunes won't be available but I will include links to the video game music for you to listen to, if you want to compare as you read.
Time for another brawl!

ROUND ONE: Mega Man vs. Ghost
Dr. Wily's Castle - The theme from the final level of Mega Man 2 (released 1988) was composed by Takashi Tateishi and is considered one of gaming's most iconic themes. It's been remixed countless times by YouTubers and professional video game composers and is a pretty damn awesome piece of a music from a game full of great tunes. The galloping rhythm and melody played throughout is the focus here. Remember how it sounds, although anyone who's heard this tune probably doesn't need to try too hard to recall the melody.
Miasma - This is easily my favourite song off the most recent Ghost album, Prequelle. It's an instrumental featuring heavy riffs, synth melodies and a saxophone solo. However, after the percussion kicks in, we get treated to a guitar solo followed by the synth one. After the synth solo, we get a second guitar solo that contains a galloping riff incredibly similar to the main melody from Dr. Wily's Castle. There are subtle differences but the overwhelming similarities are undeniable. However, it's still an incredible song from what will almost certainly be the best album of the year.
VERDICT - Considering it's one small part of a great song and Ghost don't strike me as a band wanting to cater to old school gamers, I don't think they intentionally copied the theme from Mega Man 2 or intended it as a homage. It's almost certainly coincidence so the question now is which tune do I think is better? It's a hard choice but I'm gonna give the win to Ghost due to the quality of the instrumentation. Full band will always beat 8-bit and that's a fact.

ROUND TWO: Black Sabbath vs. Spider-Man
The Mob Rules - There were two Black Sabbath songs I could've chosen for this blog post but in the end, I went with this one. It's the title track off the band's second album with Ronnie James Dio as the vocalist, notable for its great guitar riff played throughout the song. However, unlike previous entries, we're not just focusing on specific part of the original track here. We're focusing on the riff, the percussion, the pre-chorus melody and the guitar solo.
Boss Theme 3 - This is the third Boss Theme from Spider-Man and Venom: Maximum Carnage for the SNES, released in 1994. Composers Chris Jojo and Tony Williams must've been big fans of 80s Heavy Metal as the comparisons to this tune and the Black Sabbath one stack up more than quite possibly any other example in these video game posts. Quite possibly most shocking of all is that the game doesn't even credit Black Sabbath for pinching their song, although I suppose it's a lot easier to deny plagiarism if you don't own up to it.
VERDICT - Absolutely a rip-off. Not just a rip-off but one done as a shitty MIDI file. The win goes to Black Sabbath for creating the song, making it sound awesome and for not getting due credit...although if it were a fist fight, Spider-Man would definitely win.

ROUND THREE: Surfaris vs. Spongebob Squarepants
Wipe Out - A classic Surf Rock tune with an iconic guitar riff and 12-bar Blues structure. It's also notable for the rolling drumbeat in between the riffs...and the vocal introduction of manic laughter followed by the words "wipe out", although we don't need to worry about that here. If the name of the song or band wasn't a dead giveaway, the sound should immediately make you think of surfing and having fun on the beach. It's a summer hit and the fact that it's mostly instrumental means it's easy to rework for video games.
Goo Lagoon - The beach level from Spongebob Squarepants: Battle For Bikini Bottom, a 3D platformer with music composed by Jimmy Levine. As I mentioned before, it's easy to be inspired by instrumental Surf Rock when writing video game music set on a beach where people surf (and presumably rock) so it's no real surprise that there are elements of "Wipe Out" here. Whilst it's not the most overt homage, the signs are definitely there.
VERDICT - I mean, I've already told you, haven't I? It's clearly a homage as none of the main riffs are directly lifted and the Blues chord progression is so damn common that it would be ridiculous to accuse Jimmy Levine of stealing the idea from "Wipe Out". That being said, I'm giving the win to Surfaris. I'd rather listen to "Wipe Out" than the Goo Lagoon level music, although I don't dislike it. The game actually has a colourful collection of fun tunes to listen to.

ROUND FOUR: Duran Duran vs. Double Dragon
Girls On Film - One of Duran Duran's biggest hits with a catchy chorus and, more importantly, intro riff. The guitar chords and their progression are key here, as that's what we'll be comparing. It's not a favourite of mine, even as far as 80s Pop Rock goes, but I don't hate the song. It's passable but it's no "Hungry Like The Wolf" or "Rio", that's for damn sure.
Intro Theme - The intro to Battletoads & Double Dragon for the SNES contains a similar sounding guitar riff despite being released in 1992, about 11 years after the Duran Duran single. Composer David Wise has acknowledged similarities to other 80s Pop Rock in his compositions (such as using the same equipment as "In The Air Tonight" - Phil Collins during a level from Donkey Kong Country 2, I believe) so this riff might be a little more than coincidence.
VERDICT - I think there may have been a cheeky bit of intentional or unintentional riff pinching going on, as this game seems to have very little to do with "Girls On Film" - Duran Duran so I can't see it being a homage or pure coincidence. Whilst the original song did come up with the riff over a decade before the game, I'm giving the win to Double Dragon as I prefer the heavier sound to it. If it was rerecorded with modern instruments, it'd definitely be the better tune.

ROUND FIVE: Alice In Chains vs. Doom
Them Bones - I've never been a big fan of Alice In Chains and the few songs of theirs that I generally enjoy listening to tend to need some form of modification (e.g. speeding up "Man In The Box" 25%) but I still know and admire aspects of this song. The guitar riff is heavy and evil, slowly ascending before plummeting back down again. It's the main riff and chorus that we're paying attention to for this comparison.
Bye Bye American Pie - Despite having spookier accompanying instruments and a less polished sound than the full band sound of Alice In Chains, the chords are seemingly identical in this piece of music from Doom 2 released just two years after "Them Bones". Composer Robert Prince didn't even credit Alice In Chains for this song either, another reason why I believe this is less of a homage and more of the other one.
VERDICT - This is another song that I reckon was a bit of a rip-off considering how similar it is without even crediting the original songwriters. However, if I had to choose which one I think fits its chosen medium better (90s Grunge vs. spooky song in FPS), I prefer the quality of the video game song. It sounds grittier and doesn't contain annoying vocals so the win goes to Doom.

ROUND SIX: Tina Turner vs. Super Smash Bros
Nutbush City Limits (The 90s Version) - Most people probably know the punchier version of this song from the 70s but in 1991, Tina Turner rerecorded this track with a slower tempo and a heavier emphasis on piano. The opening piano chords followed by the Dance Pop synthetic percussion and musical effects might sound familiar to Nintendo fans, as we'll discuss in a moment, but they also turn this song firmly into a Pop track. I debated including it here due to it not being a Rock song but hey, when you hear what I'm comparing it to, you'll understand why it needed talking about.
Targets! - Yep, the Target Smash song from Super Smash Bros. Melee sounds JUST like the 90s version of "Nutbush City Limits", what with the identical piano chords and synth accompaniments. Granted this tune is a little faster and has more guitar in it but it's pretty damn similar all the same. As the tracks progress, more differences emerge but the opening does all the damage necessary in my eyes.
VERDICT - I doubt composer Hirokazu Ando listened to Tina Turner before whacking out this tune so I'm chalking it up to coincidence rather than homage or rip-off. As for which song is better, I'm giving the win to Super Smash Bros simply because I have fond memories of Target Smash (and the Home Run Contest) thanks to this tune. Since it's a coincidence, I have no need to award Tina Turner the win for coming up with the song first and since it's a Dance Pop song instead of a Rock one, I'm not overly fond of the track itself. An easy decision.

ROUND SEVEN: Glenn Frey vs. P.O.W. - Prisoners Of War
The Heat Is On - The classic 80s Pop Rock tune with the saxophone riff and the awesome chorus, notable for its use in Beverly Hills Cop. However, since then it's earned the right to stand up on its own feet via radio play and use in other media. It might not be the most badass 80s Pop Rock song in existence but it doesn't need to be. It's fast, it's catchy and it's got a consistent rhythm that's perfect for car chases and whatever kind of antics you're bound to get into listening to this song.
Boss Battle 2 - Let's face it; not many readers here will know the game P.O.W. - Prisoners Of War on the NES from 1988 (a popular year in this blog post) but some gamers online have made the connection between the Glenn Frey single and a particular melody from the second boss battle theme in this game. It might not be the main focus of the tune but when it crops up, you know damn well that it was lifted from "The Heat Is On". I'm not sure which composer out of Kazuhiro Nishida, Toshikazu Tanaka and Yoko Osaka decided to borrow this melody but the deed has been done.
VERDICT - Definitely Glenn Frey. Whilst the tune in P.O.W. - Prisoners Of War is cute, it doesn't hold a candle to the 80s classic.

ROUND EIGHT: Pink Floyd vs. Rayman
Shine On You Crazy Diamond - This is a long-ass song that has multiple different musical sections but this Prog Rock epic by overrated Prog Rock outfit Pink Floyd contains a slow, four note guitar riff around the four minute mark. It also contains plenty of moody, atmospheric background noise that you usually hear during ambient sections in video games...but it's mostly the four guitar notes we're interested in.
The Bayou - Along with being one of the best 3D platformers in existence, Rayman 2: The Great Escape also contains a level with a long piece of music featuring moody, atmospheric background noise and four guitar notes played in a similar fashion. Composer Eric Chevalier has supposedly been inspired by other bands in his work before but I wouldn't be surprised if Pink Floyd was on that list too.
VERDICT - I don't think this was a rip-off or a homage, as the two pieces of music stand apart more than they stand together. However, I do think it's likely that Eric Chevalier was unintentionally inspired by Pink Floyd and composed a piece of music containing a similar riff. I'm giving the win to Rayman for creating a) the better assortment of creepy music and b) the shorter song.

ROUND NINE: Crash Bandicoot vs. Rob Zombie
The Eel Deal (Hidden) - In Crash Bandicoot 2: Cortex Strikes Back, there are hidden sections in the sewer levels (The Eel Deal, Sewer Or Later and Hangin' Out) that have a thick, heavy bass riffing and percussion effects that sound a little like a clanging piano, not to mention the Techno sound of musical accompaniments. The comparison I'm going to make with the Industrial sound of this tune composed by Mutato Muzika might be a little bit forced but try to stick with me.
Never Gonna Stop (The Red Red Kroovy) - Rob Zombie is known for heavy Industrial music but the section that plays when Rob starts singing reminded me of the music from Crash Bandicoot, particularly the piano melody. As I said before, it's not quite as clear-cut as previous comparisons I've made and whilst there isn't a specific riff or melody that's been copied, it's more about the general sound of the song in comparison to the music from Crash Bandicoot.
VERDICT - Neither a homage or rip-off, absolutely a coincidence. Rob Zombie might be aware of Crash Bandicoot in some way or another but his song sounds closer to his own style of music than a hidden tune from a 90s video game. I'm gonna give the win to Rob Zombie for this one as I prefer his song to this specific tune from Crash Bandicoot 2: Cortex Strikes Back, although on the whole I definitely prefer the music in Crash to the music on a Rob Zombie album.

ROUND TEN: Friendship vs. Mario
Let's Not Talk About It - This little known track from 1979 contains a piano riff that fans of gaming (or just anyone who's been alive within the last 20 years) will almost certainly recognise straight away. There's nothing else you need to know, just that this contains a series of notes played in a curiously specific way that sounds exactly like...
Underground Theme - ...the Underground Theme from Super Mario Bros! Video game legend Koji Kondo composed the classic melody which has stuck with the Mario series ever since it was first released in 1985. However, even though it contains a different string of notes after the initial six, the tune is identical and it's enough for me to raise an eyebrow at the very least.
VERDICT - There's no way Nintendo intended the Underground Theme to be a homage to a 70s band nobody heard of and whilst most people would consider it a coincidence, I also think there's a small possibility that Koji could've heard "Let's Not Talk About It" in passing and figured it was the perfect match for the game he was working on. That being said, I'm awarding the win to Mario as the Underground Theme has become one of Nintendo's iconic tunes and even if it was pinched from a lesser known Rock song, Nintendo certainly used the track in the better way.


COMING SOON (as in, within a month or so): A series of posts about the music from Spyro The Dragon and the Spyro: Reignited Trilogy, similar to ones I wrote about the Crash Bandicoot: N. Sane Trilogy last year.

Rapid Fire: Black Stone Cherry, The Offspring, Foo Fighters

Recently, I went to visit family and had to spend five hours driving from my house to theirs. Before setting off, I grabbed three CDs from my collection that I hadn't listened to for the car journey and once I arrived, decided to write a blog post discussing each album. So yeah, that's the theme for this month's Rapid Fire post. Not genres, not decades, just three albums I listened to whilst travelling alone on the motorway.


1. Magic Mountain - Black Stone Cherry

The first album I listened to was easily the best although don't mistake that for me saying it was a great album overall. Magic Mountain has some decent Hard Rock tracks but more often than not, the songs were built on uninspired riffs and generic Black Stone Cherry material. Album opener "Holding On...To Letting Go" starts off with a great rhythm and some decent riffing but regrettably the band make their classic mistake of letting things slow down for no good reason in the middle. It's a shame too as the guitar solo's pretty good, although changing the rhythm in the middle of a song by slowing it down rarely ever works unless you're a Prog Metal band and even then, it's never worth it.
The slower sections of the album come in the form of drug themed tracks such as "Peace Pipe", "Me And Mary Jane" and "Blow My Mind". Similar to some of the material off the latest albums by The Sword, I get the impression that the chilled, Southern Groove behind each of these songs sounds better when 'blazing up' as all the hip kids say. Since I was behind the wheel at the time of listening to these tracks, I can't confirm or deny that theory but what I can confirm is that unlike other Black Stone Cherry albums I've listened to, this album has songs I would love to listen to again such as 70s throwback and title track "Magic Mountain" and emotionally charged album closer "Remember Me", even if it does go on way too long.
The stronger aspects of the record, as always, are the dynamic riffs and heavy grooves whereas I felt myself tuning out during the slower, whinier numbers ("Sometimes") and gimmicky filler tracks straight outta shit-kicker, cousin-fucker county ("Hollywood In Kentucky"). All in all though, it's a complete album that didn't feel like it was playing it too safe or recycling material (unlike another album I'll be discussing lower down). I recommend Magic Mountain to fans of Hard/Southern Rock although don't set your standards too high.

1. Holding On...To Letting Go

2. Peace Pipe

3. Bad Luck & Hard Love

4. Me And Mary Jane

5. Runaway

6. Magic Mountain

7. Never Surrender

8. Blow My Mind

9. Sometimes

10. Fiesta Del Fuego

11. Dance Girl

12. Hollywood In Kentucky

13. Remember Me

ALBUM RATING - 6/10

Next up is an album by Pop Punk champions The Offspring!

2. Americana - The Offspring

Don't let the album artwork fool you; this album isn't even the remotest bit interesting. Released in 1998 and after the band's much better albums Smash and Ixnay On The Hombre (not to mention before Conspiracy Of One, also a better album), Americana is supposed to be the band's statement on life in America from the band's youthful perspective but ends up sounding like weaker versions of material we've already heard before. Album opener "Welcome/Have You Ever" has the same rhythm, the same guitarwork and the same basic vocal structure as your typical Offspring track only it lacks that special spark. Possibly because the band try to add more progressive elements to their aggressive Pop Punk and it simply doesn't work.

Whilst there are some instances of tracks working perfectly as they are ("The Kids Aren't Alright", "Staring At The Sun"), the majority of songs on the album trip and fall over themselves. For example, lead single "Pretty Fly (For A White Guy)" has an amazing chorus and some fine guitar/vocal work, not to mention decent Latin influences. Unfortunately, it's ruined by the obnoxious "GIVVIT TO ME BAY-BEEEE, UH-HUH UH-HUH" throughout. If that vocal melody was played on guitar instead, this would've been an album highlight. There's also album closer "Pay The Man", a song originally intended to be on the previous album but was left off because they felt like it didn't belong. That was a smart decision, unlike the decision to make it eight-minutes long and easily forgettable. That was a dumb decision.

Ultimately, you'll probably enjoy this album if you haven't heard their previous work, similar to how you probably think Die Hard 4.0 is awesome if you haven't seen the first or second one. Americana is surplus goods and the Pop Punk filler tracks are old news at this point. Even the singles are dull or flawed to the point that they're not enjoyable (apart from "The Kids Aren't Alright"). You don't really stand to gain anything from listening to this entire album that you couldn't get elsewhere and the fact that the band's next album moved towards more conventional Rock than their brand of Skater Punk tells you that at least one member of the band felt like Americana showed warning signs of the band going stale.

1. Welcome

2. How Are You

3. Staring At The Sun

4. Pretty Fly (For A White Guy)

5. The Kids Aren't Alright

6. Feelings

7. She's Got Issues

8. Walla Walla

9. The End Of The Line

10. No Brakes

11. Why Don't You Get A Job

12. Americana

13. Pay The Man

14. Pretty Fly (Reprise)

ALBUM RATING - 3/10

And last but certainly least, we have Dave Grohl "experimenting"!

3. There Is Nothing Left To Lose - Foo Fighters

I fucking hate this album. It's generic, depressing, repetitive and possibly worst of all, it feels like Dave Grohl knew exactly what he was doing. The first three songs are completely different to the rest of the album and unsurprisingly, those three songs are the ones that are (semi) popular Foos tracks. Album opener "Stacked Actors" sports a great riff, an explosive chorus, a decent guitar solo and some classic Grohl vocals. Following close behind is "Breakout", another proper Rock song with Dave letting loose throughout. However, once we reach "Learn To Fly", a mediocre but passable radio friendly song designed to sound as commercial as possible, everything goes downhill.

The rest of the album contains guitar riffs that sound like they were written in about 10 seconds ("Live-In Skin", "Headwires"), percussion that would nudge coma patients onto the next mortal plain of existence ("Ain't It The Life", "Aurora") and vocals with all the energy and passion of an insurance salesman humming TV ad jingles whilst waiting for a bus ("M.I.A.", "Next Year"). It's almost as if Grohl didn't have much confidence in what he was doing so decided to start the album off with his three favourite songs so that people would hear the first few tracks and mistake There's Nothing Left To Lose for a Rock album.

This is the kind of album I'd imagine pretentious, hipster douches listening to because of how sensitive and non-threatening this "Rock" music is; your Zach Braffs, your Simon Neils, etc. If you're one of them, go knock yourselves out. Literally, knock yourselves out because your taste is awful and unwanted. Do not listen to this album, there are literally hundreds of better modern Rock records that don't sound phoned in or misleading. I've criticised Queens Of The Stone Age material due to how the mix of soft vocals and aggressively fuzzy guitar/bass tones does not work but I'll take Josh Homme's audio jizzrag over Dave Grohl's, if this album's anything to go by.

1. Stacked Actors

2. Breakout

3. Learn To Fly

4. Gimme Stitches

5. Generator

6. Aurora

7. Live-In Skin

8. Next Year

9. Headwires

10. Ain't It The Life

11. M.I.A.

ALBUM RATING - 2/10

COMING SOON: Tenology posts and more NEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWS.

Showdown: Cover Versions, part 5

Part 5? Yeah, it's part 5.
More cover versions! This time, unlike the last two posts, we're going back to Rock/Metal covers of Rock/Metal/Pop songs; no WaveGroup covers this time. As always, I'll be writing about the original, then writing about the cover version before offering my verdict on which version is best and why. There's no real theme to this post. I'll try to pick famous cover versions or covers of famous songs (as usual) but other than putting the more well known covers first, it's a basically a free-for-all!
Also, underneath this post is an embedded Spotify playlist containing originals and covers so you can listen along if you want.

ROUND ONE: Bad Company
Bad Company - I think I've said this is "arguably" the band's signature song in the past but when your band literally shares the name of a song from an album that ALSO shares its name with the song, there's not really any argument to be had. It's a decent track, a little plain in comparison to some of their other tracks but if you want a vocally driven song with a catchy chorus and some nice piano melodies, look no further. It's just a shame the guitar solo in the outro is weak but you can't have everything.
Five Finger Death Punch - I'll admit that this song transitions well into a Five Finger Death Punch track and the band do a good job of knowing where to be heavy. The solo isn't as excessive as other contemporary Hard Rock/Metal covers (Black Label Society and Guns N' Roses could learn a thing or two) and this song has an actual outro instead of fading out during a solo. It's a great cover alright, although I'm still not entirely sold on it. Maybe I just dislike the sound of Five Finger Death Punch but even though I can't find anything wrong with it, I still don't want to listen to it again.
VERDICT - I'm really torn on this one because even though I'd rather listen to Bad Company's original, I feel like I have more positive things to say about Five Finger Death Punch's cover. I think I've got to go with my gut and say Bad Company take the win for having stronger (albeit fewer) positive aspects. Five Finger Death Punch still pulled out a great cover and it's not surprising that their version of this song is regarded to be one of their better tracks.

ROUND TWO: The Sound Of Silence
Simon & Garfunkel - As great as this song is, I feel like Arrested Development has kinda tainted it. I can't hear this song without thinking of "I've made a huge mistake" and Will Arnett but thankfully, those thoughts dissipate once the percussion comes in. Whilst this song might be overused in the media, it's still a brilliant vocally driven Classic Rock track. The lyrics were also referenced in "The Spirit Of Radio" - Rush ("and the words of the prophets were written on the studio walls, echoes with the sounds of salesmen") so it's got that going for it too.
Disturbed - Remember when the Internet went all fangirl over this cover as if it was the greatest fucking thing since that video of the cat saying "Oh long Johnson"? I'll admit, it starts off really well. The build up and use of piano to deliver the melody are fantastic, not to mention David Draiman's restrained vocals. However, there's something about this song that reminds me of those awful covers on The X Factor during "Rock week"; it just feels artificial, staged. Then it reaches the three minute mark and just becomes silly; Draiman starts growling and I completely lose interest. However, having listened to the whole song in one sitting after taking a break from the snippets I constantly used to hear over the radio, it's not bad.
VERDICT - Definitely Simon & Garfunkel. The introduction of percussion alone is better than any single part of the Disturbed cover and whilst Disturbed did try something interesting, I feel like they were just short of a perfect cover. But hey, at least I understand why people loved this cover so much now, even if I don't share the sentiment.

ROUND THREE: Am I Evil?
Diamond Head - There are many versions of this song but I think the one I prefer is the 1982 rerecording. You know, the one with the slightly slower intro (if it helps, I believe it was the one used in Guitar Hero: Metallica, NOT Brutal Legend). Anyway, the song is still awesome from start to finish. It's almost like an Ozzy-era Black Sabbath song but done properly, from the heavy "Evil" chords at the start to the chugging riff during the vocals. Easily the band's signature song and with songwriting talents like this, it's a shame we didn't get to see Diamond Head reach the heights of their contemporaries at the time.
Metallica - Metallica assembled and recorded many covers for Garage Inc. but arguably this is the most significant. They shot into the spotlight after playing a cover of "Am I Evil?" before they recorded Kill Em All and I've got to say, it's pretty damn good. They don't really change much about it yet successfully make the song sound like their own. It sounds like something they could have written themselves although if you heard the original first, you probably won't get much out of it.
VERDICT - Whilst it's not as night & day as the last round, the win goes to Diamond Head. Both versions are great and it probably depends on which one you heard first but in cases like this, I tend to favour the original. However, at least Metallica only have one official version of this track whereas Diamond Head have about three.

ROUND FOUR: Call Me The Breeze
J.J. Cale - This is a nice, easy going Blues Rock track by the guy Eric 'Boring' Clapton wishes he could've been. It's a fairly short little tune with a simple guitar solo and vocals throughout; nothing imposing and it fades out during the outro. Other than that, there's not really a lot to comment on. Moving on!
Lynyrd Skynyrd - I think a lot of people incorrectly assume this is a Skynyrd original in the same way people assume "Cocaine" is a Clapton original (it isn't and unsurprisingly, J.J. Cale's is much better). Lynyrd Skynyrd took the original and turned it ALL THE WAY up with a tasty guitar AND piano solo, not to mention brass accompaniment and an actual outro (which is pretty rare for Skynyrd's bigger songs). Every aspect of this song is better...so guess who's getting the win.
VERDICT - Lynyrd Skynyrd take a well deserved win right here. However, if we were comparing the J.J. Cale original with the Eric 'Boring' Clapton cover from a few years ago, J.J. would be taking home the win without a doubt.

ROUND FIVE: All Along The Watchtower
Bob Dylan - Did you know that this song was a Bob Dylan track before Hendrix covered it? I mean, you do if you played Guitar Hero 5 but yeah, here it is! Bob Dylan sounds like a comedian doing a Bob Dylan impression and the harmonica throughout gets annoying pretty fucking quickly. As for the acoustic guitar, it's basically an afterthought. In other words, this song is a little shitty although if you prefer Folk to Rock, you'll probably love it.
Jimi Hendrix - Arguably Hendrix's signature song and it isn't even his. However, the changes made to the overall structure and addition of all the guitar solos (not to mention Jimi's far superior vocal range) turn this into an iconic Rock song. Whilst I'm not hugely into the track in comparison to some of his other well known songs like "Castles Made Of Sand" and "Hey Joe", you can't deny that the opening chords that flow into the first guitar solo are just perfect.
VERDICT - Easily a win for Jimi Hendrix. Despite having a slower tempo and lasting a lot longer than the original, it's a straight up classic whilst the original deserves to fade into obscurity.

ROUND SIX: Back In Black
AC/DC - After Bon Scott died and the band found a replacement in the form of Brian Johnson, AC/DC wanted to come back with a powerful Rock anthem to show fans that they were still a pure Hard Rock machine. The band chose wisely with this song containing a wealth of epic riffs, sweet solos and raw vocals and whilst Bon Scott was truly the better vocalist, Brian's voice was at its finest at the start of his lengthy stretch with the band.
Living Colour - So you might be wondering why I chose this song/cover. To me, "Back In Black" is one of those iconic Rock songs that people will ALWAYS associate with AC/DC and to cover it is inviting disappointment...until I heard Living Colour try it. The guitar is spot on throughout and whilst the vocals get a little too screechy, I wanted to include this track in the list as a way of showing that good covers of this song can exist, not just tacky ones of AC/DC tracks that existed as alternatives to the original before the band became available on Spotify.
VERDICT - Even though I like the Living Colour version, I think we all agree that AC/DC knocked it out of the park with this track. If Living Colour's vocals weren't so abrasive, they may have taken home the win here but alas, it wasn't to be.

ROUND SEVEN: Helter Skelter
The Beatles - Music historians cite this song as one of the earliest influences for the Heavy Metal genre and whilst I can agree with that statement, anyone who calls this song Heavy Metal is a fucking idiot. At best, it's Hard Rock although even by Deep Purple standards, it's more like 60s Garage. Anyway, this song was about as heavy as The Beatles got with clashing symbols, screeching vocals and chugging guitar riffs. It's a decent track although not exactly in the band's wheelhouse. That being said, I'll take it over their trippy, psychedelic, circus nonsense.
Motley Crue - Fun fact: Motley Crue also toyed with the idea of recording a cover of "Paperback Writer", the far greater Beatles song, and did play that track live a few times. However, between the two songs, I'm glad "Helter Skelter" got the studio treatment. The Crue took the blueprints for a fine Hard Rock song and beefed it up a bit, transforming it into a decent Hair/Heavy Metal tune. It's just a shame that the lyrics about going down slides don't really make the same transition as the music.
VERDICT - Whilst I'd obviously pick The Beatles over Motley Crue for overall strength of music, I'm giving the win to Motley Crue here. Heavier song needs heavier music and The Beatles just fell a little short, although they came damn close to writing a full on Hard Rock song. Maybe in an alternate timeline where they kept going long after 1970, the band rerecorded it with the necessary power it deserves. However, until interdimensional travel exists, at least we've got Motley Crue's version.

ROUND EIGHT: Oops I Did It Again
Britney Spears - For years, I thought this and "...Baby One More Time" were the exact same song. Ya know, because they sound identical. Anyway, apparently this is a different song that uses other words? Either way, it's still a generic Pop song with piano chords, basic percussion, lyrics designed by a committee to make teenage girls want to be her and horny dads want to fuck her. Whilst I'm generally not a fan of Pop music (or Britney Spears), this song certainly isn't "Toxic".
Children Of Bodom - Children Of Bodom have done some great little covers over their years but I think this is the one that everyone knows.  A Melodic Death Metal cover of a Pop song. Vocally, this song is absolute shite outside of the chorus although I'm guessing that's kinda the point; it feels like it was performed sarcastically and you know what? I can dig that. Musically, it's one of the lesser Children Of Bodom tracks but they still managed to fit a solid guitar solo into it.
VERDICT - Children Of Bodom did something fun and unique with a bland song so they deserve a win. I also recommend their covers album Skeletons In The Closet if you want some other decent tunes of theirs, provided you like Melodic Death Metal.

ROUND NINE: Smoke On The Water
Deep Purple - One of the most iconic guitar riffs of all time and also one of the most basic Deep Purple/Richie Blackmore songs. Admittedly, it's a pretty great riff and there are some decent Ian Gillan vocals but other than that, it's an underperforming Hard Rock track. Weak guitar solo and goes on way too long but it's still an OK song if you haven't heard many other Deep Purple tunes. However, I bet there are bands who could do a fantastic cover of this song...
The Flaming Lips - ...just not these guys. If you haven't heard The Flaming Lips cover of "Smoke On The Water", part of me wants to recommend it just to hear how fucking terrible it is. It's the height of experimental hipster shit and once those vocals come in, you know you're in for something terrible. Similar to the Children Of Bodom song, this feels like a piss-take although unlike their Britney Spears cover, this just sounds awful.
VERDICT - I picked this song because I knew The Flaming Lips did a shite cover that you needed to know about. Obviously Deep Purple get the win and OK, maybe this entry is a little one sided so in the interest of balance, let's have a well known song with an amazing cover.

ROUND TEN: Cheap Sunglasses
ZZ Top - If you've been reading my blog for a while, you'll probably know my opinion of "Cheap Sunglasses" and indeed, early ZZ Top. Great songs but absolutely terrible mixes; flatter than day old coke and in dire need of a remaster. However, ignoring technical flaws, the song's bloody good. Great riffs, fun lyrics and a decent solo; an awesome Blues Rock track. If the mix was better, this would be the perfect Rock song.
The Sword - Now THIS is what I'm talking about. Proper dynamics whilst still keeping the grit and Blues aspects. Granted it's more like Heavy Metal than Hard Rock now but The Sword have taken this song and ramped it up. Hopefully ZZ Top will hear this and be inspired to rerecord/remaster their back catalogue one day. The Sword have also done a smashing cover of "Cold Sweat" - Thin Lizzy although because that was a B-side to one of their singles, it's harder to find online.
VERDICT - Definitely The Sword although I still like ZZ Top's original a lot.


As stated above, here's a Spotify playlist of all the songs discussed in this post so you can listen along and decide whether I'm making some good points or are just completely full of shit...or ya know, somewhere in the middle.

Here Is The News: June 2018 Edition

How do we all feel about the Here Is The News title? Good? Yeah? Great, I'm keeping it.
Last month, I told you guys about the exciting events happening in the Rock/Metal community with the promise of keeping you updated in subsequent months whenever something newsworthy occurs. Thankfully, it's been an eventful month in the world of Rock/Metal but fear not; I've picked the three biggest stories to report on for your eyes so if you're sitting comfortably, it's time for the news!

OZZY OSBOURNE ALBUM PASSES AWAY

After 29 years of being available in record stores and online, the Ozzy Osbourne album Ozzymandias has died and is no longer available anywhere, even if you already owned it. The 1989 LP was considered a career highlight and the news of its passing has shocked fans all over the world, especially when they tried listening to their copy of Ozzymandias only to discover all evidence of the album's existence is no longer with us.

It's believed that the album passed away peacefully in the early hours of the morning although an autopsy needs to be carried out to ensure that drugs weren't involved in the same way they were during the album's conception. Ozzymandias contained nine tracks featuring an album cover that had Ozzy Osbourne dressed in an extravagant costume and hit singles "The Crucifix" and "Time To Dry Your Eyes". Lyrical themes on the album included religion, insanity, romance, mysticism, literature and the Rock & Roll lifestyle Ozzy's become known for. Fans all over the world are desperately searching Ozzy's back catalogue to find even a single song that covers any of those lyrical themes.

As is often the case when a famous musician passes away, Metal celebrities have been coming out of the woodwork to offer their condolences and thoughts on Ozzymandias in a move that has absolutely no personal agenda to it. During a radio interview, Dee Snider of Twisted Sister claimed "I remember listening to [Ozzymandias] before going on stage every night for about a week, "Out Of Milk" was a personal favourite. It feels like a part of me has died alongside this album" before promoting his new autobiography audiobook. The band Anthrax also updated their website to include an obituary for the album, claiming that "Ozzymandias was a true inspiration for our music from 1990 to today".

Ozzy Osbourne (pictured right) was asked to comment on the news of his album's demise. Ozzy stated "I remember very little of the recording sessions for that album but I'm told that I was quite good!" During the interview, Ozzy went on to say that he regrets not playing more (or any) songs from the album on his live tours. He also claimed that he hopes his fans will remember the good times had when listening to his music, all the while turning back to a nodding Sharon Osbourne for confirmation before continuing with the next sentiment.

Ozzymandias may be gone but it certainly isn't forgotten. Work has already begun on recreating the album through the magic of holographic technology so that fans can once again enjoy the experience of owning it. Holographic projectors are being installed in all major record stores and hopefully by February next year, fans can purchase portable projectors so they can take holograms of the album home with them for the low price of £1299.99, which is just slightly more than the deluxe version of the album's reissue from 2009.

LED ZEPPELIN ARE NOT TOURING OR RECORDING NEW MUSIC

Led Zeppelin are a band that formed in the 60s and released many iconic Rock albums during their career. However, at the time of writing this blog post, Led Zeppelin have not announced a new tour or the news that they're recording brand new music so this article (and pretty much every article about the band that doesn't announce a tour or new music) is completely pointless.

Recently, the band announced that they're re-releasing their 1976 live soundtrack album The Song Remains The Same (pictured left) for their 50th anniversary. However, a live soundtrack re-release is not the same as touring again or recording new music so who the hell cares. The soundtrack was remastered by Jimmy Page but since he's not planning on playing new or old music on stage with the rest of the surviving band members, it's irrelevant.

The band broke up in 1980 after the death of drummer John Bonham but have reformed briefly in the past. The last time the band played live was December 2007 at London's 02 Arena and since then, Robert Plant has shot down plans of the band reforming and/or recording new music. Robert Plant has also recorded solo albums but only a fraction of people give a shit because it's not the same as Led Zeppelin touring or releasing new music, which they're currently not doing.

This is basically what the article is. This is what every article about Led Zeppelin that doesn't announce a new tour or the fact that the band are going back into the studio with new music is. Why the fuck are you still reading this, I'm not giving you any new information. Led Zeppelin (pictured right, playing live) had a great run but if they're not touring or contributing to their craft with new music, nobody cares because there are Led Zeppelinesque bands that are touring and giving us new music, like Greta Van Fleet. Those guys ARE touring and recording new music, so they're worth reading about.

Seriously, you're still reading this?! What do you expect is going to happen, I'm going to tease some kind of bullshit about one of the band members "hoping" to get back together from some ego-stroking magazine interview? Like I'm not going to lead with the possibility of Led Zeppelin touring or recording new music if I thought there was even the remotest possibility of that happening in my lifetime? No, there is absolutely nothing happening on the Led Zeppelin front at the moment. Nothing at all. Bet you're glad you read all the way to these last few sentences; was that worth two minutes of your life? You could've listened to a quarter of "Stairway To Heaven" in that time or done something other than dedicate precious thought to a band that don't give a shit about their history. Oh well, at least you smiled at this article? No? Well shit, looks like we both pissed away our time.

THAT BAND WITH THE SONG KICK OFF WORLD TOUR

The band that released that sort of popular Alternative Rock song in the 90s have announced that they're embarking on a world tour, playing all their greatest hits and a couple of songs off their new album that they quietly released last year. The band have also revealed the name of their 2018/2019 tour is the We Need More Money Now That TV Ads Have Stopped Licensing Our Singles Tour.

The tour will start with a few shows in America before playing side stages at a few festivals in the UK and then returning to America for the rest of the year. Whilst the setlist is unknown at the time of writing this article, it's thought that hit songs such as "The One With The Catchy Chorus But Forgettable Everything Else", "We Got A Female Musician To Sing In The Background Of This One" and "No, This Song Isn't By THAT Band After All" will be played along with newer songs like "We're Slightly Heavier Now We're A Bit Older" and "Cover Of A 70s Song To Gain A Bit Of Media Attention".

When asked about the tour, the frontman stated "It's good to get back on tour again, especially after our guitarist had a bit of trouble with a difficult divorce settlement. Plus, the drummer has kids now so he's constantly looking for a way to get out of the house for a lengthy period of time AND relive his past before his dreams died. All in all, it just feels like the right time for us to get back out there and introduce our melodic yet indistinct sounds to a brand new audience who love Alternative Rock, chill tunes and most importantly, hollow 90s nostalgia. I don't know if this tour would be possible without a generation of twentysomethings who've convinced themselves that the 90s were great just because things are so relentlessly shitty now".

The band (who may or may not be pictured right?) split up in 2006 after disappointing sales for their album We Didn't Adapt When We Should Have resulted in their record label prematurely ending their contract. Since then, members from the band have attempted to launch solo careers and form supergroups with members of other neglected 90s Alternative Rock bands who failed to adapt and innovate their sound in time to salvage their careers. However, neither attempt proved successful for any band member.

After a desperate few years relying on royalties from TV adverts and radio stations who don't quite understand the meaning of "oldies", the band eventually decided to get back together after seeing the rise of older bands releasing comeback albums and going on greatest hits tours around the early 2010s. Since then, they've been preparing for their opportunity to milk another 15 minutes out of the public and are currently sharing the stage at various UK festivals with other classic acts such as Experimental Synth Pop Wankers, Two Women Playing Cheesy Pop Rock, An OK Comedian With An Acoustic Guitar, Some 70s Funk Band With About 30 Members and Chesney Hawkes. Tickets are on sale now and probably will be for a while.

That's the end of the news for this month!

COMING SOON: Rapid Fire and probably a video game post.

Rapid Fire: Scorpions, Testament, White Wizzard

Our final post of the month is a quick look at three albums released across different decades that all share at least one common factor. In this case, it's striking album artwork and what better genre to represent high quality album art than Heavy Metal.
The first album comes from a band known for controversial album artwork that often had to be replaced by a less offensive images. That's right, it's NOT Cannibal Corpse because fuck them. It's Scorpions.


1. Blackout - Scorpions

Of all the classic Scorpions albums I've listened to, this is probably my favourite. It also has the best album artwork with Lovedrive coming in at a close second. Anyway, when it comes to Heavy Metal from the 70s, Scorpions are arguably the gold standard. The perfect blend of Klaus Meine's vocals, guitar from one of the Schenkers and percussion from [INSERT DRUMMER HERE] (although Herman Rarebell's work on this album is a highlight) result in a sound that sounds a little more aggressive than typical Hard Rock but not quite as furious as 80s Metal; this is apparent from album opener and title track "Blackout", a fan favourite containing great riffs, a catchy chorus and an outro that maybe could've done without the scream.
From here, the album gives us a healthy variety of commercially oriented Pop Metal ("No One Like You"), slower power ballads that still rock ("When The Smoke Is Going Down"), chugging Heavy Metal ("China White") and fast paced bangers ("Dynamite"). This album has a good hit-shit ratio but the variety does mean fans of faster Heavy Metal might get a little bored during the more casual tracks like "Arizona". Likewise, listeners who want something to chill out to should probably find a different album (or genre) due to songs like "Now!" appearing and shaking you awake.
This album is an all-rounder and definitely a classic that I'd recommend to fans of the genre  although it takes its strongest step in the first half. The latter half is made up of deep cuts and afterthoughts that likely won't win anyone over if they hadn't heard any of the album's main singles that all happen to come from the first half. Blackout isn't the best Heavy Metal album in existence but it's certainly a strong contender for one of Scorpions' finest records; definitely one of the best out of their golden years (Virgin Killer to Savage Amusement).

1. Blackout

2. Can't Live Without You

3. No One Like You

4. You Give Me All I Need

5. Now!

6. Dynamite

7. Arizona

8. China White

9. When The Smoke Is Going Down

ALBUM RATING - 7/10

Next up is an album from 1990, the last year of the truly great Heavy Metal album.

2. Souls Of Black - Testament

When choosing music for this post, it was between this album and Spreading The Disease - Anthrax but in the end, I went with Testament because I've already talked about Anthrax in a Rapid Fire post. Besides, this album needs addressing. First off, we have a fucking great album cover. Along with Spreading The Disease and Peace Sells...But Who's Buying?, it's artwork that I could get lost in and catches your eye when browsing the Metal section of your record store. Then we have the album opener "Face In The Sky" after acoustic intro "Beginning Of The End". Both tracks do a great job of creating atmosphere before giving you some damn fine Thrash Metal to get stuck into.

The album contains some exceptional material that could easily go toe to toe with some of Thrash Metal's finest moments but unfortunately, there's one glaring fault that prevents Souls Of Black from being a shining star: the godawful, horrifically flat mix. When all's said and done, you can compare Souls Of Black to other Metal albums released in the same year like Rust In Peace and Painkiller and the difference in audio quality is night and day. Producer Michael Rosen should be fucking ashamed for ruining what could've been a damn near perfect record, although the producer credits also list Testament as producing so the fault could lie with them too.

Either way, there are a lot of great songs here that are sullied by the terrible mix (as proven by the far superior rerecording of "Souls Of Black" used in Rock Band 2) but if you can get past that, there are plenty of jewels to be found in this trash can. Even when the tracks slow down to take a breather, they still maintain the raw aggression and awesome riffs needed for top notch Thrash. Maybe one day the entire album will get the rerecording treatment instead of just the title track but until then, I guess we'll have to make do with this swing and a miss.

1. Beginning Of The End

2. Face In The Sky

3. Falling Fast

4. Souls Of Black

5. Absence Of Light

6. Love To Hate

7. Malpractice

8. One Man's Fate

9. The Legacy

10. Seven Days Of May

ALBUM RATING - 7/10

The last album is a fairly modern one (2010) but was clearly inspired by Metal greats from the 80s.

3. Over The Top - White Wizzard

White Wizzard are an American NWOTHM band that MAY have listened to a lot of Iron Maiden and Anthrax whilst growing up, but I'm not completely certain about that. Regardless of their personal taste in music, the band's amplified bass, falsetto vocals and galloping rhythm definitely conjure memories of 80s Metal as demonstrated in album opener and title track "Over The Top". It's a great introduction to the band if you've never heard of them before (which is highly likely) but the real heavy hitters come later on, especially if you're a fan of riff-based Metal and backing vocals perfect for singing along during gigs.

Even though there are more than a few comparisons to their sources of inspiration, the band are easily able to stand up on their own feet. In fact, I'd argue that there's a case to be made that White Wizzard have taken those factors and improved them. Whilst there's the occasional proggy deep cut ("Iron Goddess Of Vengeance"), there are also tracks with mildly progressive elements ("High Roller") that don't go on anywhere near as long as those in modern Iron Maiden or Dream Theater songs, meaning that fans of Heavy Metal that remains tight and energetic will have a lot to enjoy in this album. There's also the fact that vocalist Wyatt Anderson can hit those high notes without sounding too rusty, something Bruce Dickinson is starting to lose if live gigs are anything to go by.

The only main downside to Over The Top is that a great Heavy Metal album has plenty of variety between fast tracks, moderately paced sluggers and slower, more emotional material. This album lacks the slower songs that allow the band to show off their musical talent, instead opting to rewrite the same song ("Live Free Or Die" and "Strike Of The Viper"). As a result, you might feel like the band are a bit one-note if you're not a fan of the song they clearly love. Fortunately, I love that song so this is a great album for me. I definitely recommend it if you want some good old fashioned Heavy Metal.

1. Over The Top

2. 40 Deuces

3. High Roller

4. Live Free Or Die

5. Iron Goddess Of Vengeance

6. Out Of Control

7. Strike Of The Viper

8. Death Race

9. White Wizzard

ALBUM RATING - 8/10

Next month: Hopefully posts that don't all come within the last week, although it does depend largely on personal issues resolving themselves.

Tenology: Great Song Uses In Video Games

Yes, it's a video game post but no, it's not about video game music!
Video games have come a long way over the last couple of decades, not just in terms of graphics and gameplay but also music use. When game developers decided to license actual songs instead of relying entirely on music specifically made for the title, most of the time it was just to offer additional background music (see GTA radio stations). However, now and then, the game developers knew that certain gameplay moments couldn't be experienced without a specific track playing and that's what this post is all about; a celebration of those times when a song came on, the stars aligned and all was right with the world just for a few minutes.
These moments don't occur that often, which is probably what makes them even greater, but in no particular order, here are ten times that video games reached the next level (no pun intended) with their uses of licensed music and/or songs by real bands recorded specifically for a game. Note: I'm not including songs licensed just for the game's soundtrack that are heard randomly and without purpose; these songs have to be heard at scripted events to be counted. I'm also not including songs from rhythm music games (Guitar Hero, Rock Band, etc) and I'm aiming to only include one song per game franchise, so no repeat uses of Saints Row tracks.


1. "Children Of The Elder God" - Poets Of The Fall
Used in Alan Wake (2010)

Alan Wake is a game about a writer trying to survive an attack by vicious, possessed creatures in a dark wood. It largely involves a lot of walking, some gun play and a bit of psychological horror. However, one section takes you to a stage in the middle of the woods where the fictional band Old Gods Of Asgard used to play. The game then treats you to a level where the stage lights up and monsters attempt to attack you whilst this song plays from start to finish. Needless to say, it's fucking awesome (if not a little out of place). The song is technically by Poets Of The Fall although I believe the track is credited to their fictional name in the game. Either way, the combination of the great song, the fun level and the welcome break from all the creepiness makes this a highly memorable moment.


2. "Opposites Attract" - Paula Abdul
Used in Saints Row IV (2013)

Saints Row started off as a fun little GTA clone but soon evolved into something much, MUCH better when Saints Row IV came around (although I hear Saints Row The Third is also fantastic). There are many great song uses in this game, including a side mission where you do a pole dance to "Simply Irresistible" - Robert Palmer and escape from an alien mothership to "What Is Love" - Haddaway. However, my personal favourite is a little more low key than those. You're driving with your friend on your way to start the mission (some shooting/fighting affair, no big deal) when "Opposites Attract" comes on over the radio. Your character and your friend then proceed to sing along, playing both parts regardless of which gender or voice actor you choose to play The Boss. It's a particularly fun little section in a game filled with over-the-top missions and music moments...it also helped me get into this song and inspired me to learn all of the lyrics too, although let's not dwell on that.


3. "Painkiller" - Judas Priest
Used in Brutal Legend (2009)

This song was almost going to be "Children Of The Grave" - Black Sabbath or "Through The Fire And Flames" - DragonForce but then I remembered the final boss. Whilst those songs had great uses in this third person hack n slash/RTS inspired by the art and music of Heavy Metal, the final battle of the game is amplified all the more by this epic battle anthem. It's a shame the final boss itself is a lame battle on its own but this song takes it to far higher levels. Hopefully one day we'll get a Brutal Legend 2 before all the Rock/Metal musicians die and the tracks are too expensive to license but hey, at least we can always relive this game.


4. "Still Alive" - Jonathan Coulton
Used in Portal (2007)

Portal is regarded as one of the greatest video games due to its unique puzzle solving elements and humour, although I've never actually played much of it myself. I played a bit on a demo and can't say I cared for it but there is one thing I enjoyed: the song used in the credits. Another track written specifically for the game that sung from the perspective of the game's AI antagonist; a hauntingly optimistic look at the game's events that fans have praised for over a decade. Whilst my enjoyment of the song has faded since I first heard it, I still acknowledge that it's a necessary factor in what makes Portal such a memorable game. It's rightfully taken its place in video game Pop culture, much like "the cake is a lie"...although I prefer "Still Alive".


5. "Gone Guru" - Lifeseeker
Used in Dead Rising (2006)

Yep, I'm even including Hip Hop songs in this list. Whilst I couldn't give a shit about the rapping throughout, the opening guitar notes will always make me think of the prison inmates fight from Dead Rising. Basically, you're stuck in a supermarket overrun with zombies and somehow, a bunch of prisoners have not only escaped but acquired a military vehicle with a machine gun on it. They then drive to the park section of the supermarket where they proceed to spend the majority of the game driving around attempting to kill you instead of looting or, say, escaping. However, every time you enter the park with the convicts around, this song plays...and my God, it is chilling.
See, the zombies in this game are pretty easy to kill. The convicts, however? Pain in the arse. Not only that but they are lethal to any survivors you've got with you, making them a genuine threat to survival that you often have to navigate your way around rather than take head on. Oh, and they respawn. What this means is even after you successfully kill them, you can revisit the park and immediately realise that you're in for a challenge...all because of "Gone Guru" and those opening guitar notes. It's one of the game's scariest moments, all thanks to a single song. Well played, Capcom.


6. "Bad Voodoo" - Kreeps
Used in Red Dead Redemption: Undead Nightmare (2010)

I'd probably be less inclined to include DLC expansions in this list if Undead Nightmare wasn't the single greatest DLC expansion to ever exist. Red Dead Redemption is a fun third person cowboy action game but Undead Nightmare mixes things up with the addition of zombies, completely changing the style of gameplay you might be used to and adding all new levels of fun to an already decent game. The music is creepy and atmospheric but towards the end of the game, you're tasked with riding to Mexico to seek someone out. You get on your horse, you start riding and BAM, this song comes in loud and proud. At first, it sounds like it could be part of the game's score but then the vocals come in as you storm across the fields of death. Most people claim "Far Away" - Jose Gonzales is a great use of licensed music in a game but I still love this song and use.


7. "She Changes Like The Weather" - Nic Armstrong
Used in Destroy All Humans! 2 (2006)

I loved this game when it first came out. Not just because destroying buildings and killing people as an alien was fun to a kid but the improvements made between DaH! and DaH!2 were phenomenal. New weapons, globetrotting locations, decent side missions, proper bodysnatching AND licensed music that sounded great. You'd think that a game taking place in the 60s would license a load of 60s Garage Rock but (presumably) to save on the costs, they instead went for modern music that SOUNDED like 60s Rock. One of the songs featuring prominently throughout the game is "She Changes Like The Weather", a sort of Beatlesque number with a catchy vocal melody. It can be heard near record shops AND towards the end of the game, it plays during a chaotic clash inside a moon base. Maybe it's just because the contrast of this peaceful sounding song and all the fighting going on reminds me of The Prisoner (they used "All You Need Is Love" - The Beatles during a gunfight in the final episode) but I loved hearing it during gameplay, even if it wasn't necessarily my favourite track licensed for the game. I also loved "Help You Ann" - Lyres playing during one of the side missions, although unfortunately that side mission can eat a dick.


8. "Ain't No Rest For The Wicked" - Cage The Elephant
Used in Borderlands (2009)

I'm not a big fan of FPS games but the intro to Borderlands was enough to convince me to give this a try. In the end, I gave it up because my PC couldn't handle it but enough about personal shit, let's talk music! The opening cinematic does an exceptional job of setting the tone, introducing the characters and giving us a snapshot of the world you're about to become a part of and it wouldn't be the same without the action choreographed to "Ain't No Rest For The Wicked". It's the perfect blend of gritty and wacky, just like Borderlands, and lyrically it's exactly the kind of message you need to understand everything you need to know about the characters. I've heard the second game has a decent use of "Short Change Hero" - The Heavy but this is the only game I've played of the Borderlands franchise, so this is the one that struck a chord with me.


9. "Mickey" - Toni Basil
Used in Lollipop Chainsaw (2012)

Another game with an underrated little soundtrack. Lollipop Chainsaw saw you playing as a cheerleader/zombie hunter who carried a comically oversized chainsaw and the still-alive severed head of her boyfriend as she aimed to save each member of her family from the undead. Whilst the game had several great licensed music uses (the Dead Or Alive song during the farm level was also a contender for this list), I never got tired of hearing "Mickey" play every time I powered up and entered sparkle mode or whatever the fuck it was called. It's a song that works not only as a cute little Pop number or the credits song but also as a battle anthem for tearing through zombies. Who knew?


10. "Get It Together" - The Go! Team
Used in LittleBigPlanet (2008)

I hated this game when I played it. I can't remember which level I got to but I remember the realistic gravity and 2D platforming did nothing but piss me off. However, there is one great thing about this game: the use of "Get It Together" - The Go! Team, a charming little Indie number used heavily in the game's promotion but also during some of the levels. The mediocre platforming sections are greatly improved by this quirky tune's presence and the fact that the song was previously associated with the game before appearing in a level makes the song feel like an accomplishment; you've earned the ability to hear this song as you play due to progressing to this point. Maybe I'm only thinking of it as an achievement because to me, playing the game for more than a couple of minutes was a slog, but either way I loved the track and am almost certain that this game...nah, it probably would've done well even without the licensed music.


Obviously there are other great uses of licensed tracks in video games that I've either neglected or simply didn't think were all that (yes, I'm aware of The Rolling Stones in Call Of Duty and yes, I've watched the introduction to Prey with "(Don't Fear) The Reaper"). If there are any music moments in games that you recommend and think I should check out, feel free to let me know in the comments or via Twitter.