Showdown: Homages/Rip Offs 6 - Video Game edition Level 2

Is the title confusing enough for you?
Basically, two years ago I wrote a blog post looking at similarities between 10 Rock/Metal songs and 10 video game tunes whilst offering my opinion on whether the latter piece of music was a knowing wink to the original, a surreptitious copy of an existing track or a pure coincidence. Well, I'm doing another one! I'll also be giving my verdict on which song I believe is better based on personal taste, which came first and which tune sounds more appropriate for its medium.
Listed in each round will be the band and video game franchise, followed by the specific song and level or piece of music from aforementioned video game. I'll try to mention the game and (if I can find the information online) composer for said piece of music. There won't be a Spotify playlist for this as most of the video game tunes won't be available but I will include links to the video game music for you to listen to, if you want to compare as you read.
Time for another brawl!

ROUND ONE: Mega Man vs. Ghost
Dr. Wily's Castle - The theme from the final level of Mega Man 2 (released 1988) was composed by Takashi Tateishi and is considered one of gaming's most iconic themes. It's been remixed countless times by YouTubers and professional video game composers and is a pretty damn awesome piece of a music from a game full of great tunes. The galloping rhythm and melody played throughout is the focus here. Remember how it sounds, although anyone who's heard this tune probably doesn't need to try too hard to recall the melody.
Miasma - This is easily my favourite song off the most recent Ghost album, Prequelle. It's an instrumental featuring heavy riffs, synth melodies and a saxophone solo. However, after the percussion kicks in, we get treated to a guitar solo followed by the synth one. After the synth solo, we get a second guitar solo that contains a galloping riff incredibly similar to the main melody from Dr. Wily's Castle. There are subtle differences but the overwhelming similarities are undeniable. However, it's still an incredible song from what will almost certainly be the best album of the year.
VERDICT - Considering it's one small part of a great song and Ghost don't strike me as a band wanting to cater to old school gamers, I don't think they intentionally copied the theme from Mega Man 2 or intended it as a homage. It's almost certainly coincidence so the question now is which tune do I think is better? It's a hard choice but I'm gonna give the win to Ghost due to the quality of the instrumentation. Full band will always beat 8-bit and that's a fact.

ROUND TWO: Black Sabbath vs. Spider-Man
The Mob Rules - There were two Black Sabbath songs I could've chosen for this blog post but in the end, I went with this one. It's the title track off the band's second album with Ronnie James Dio as the vocalist, notable for its great guitar riff played throughout the song. However, unlike previous entries, we're not just focusing on specific part of the original track here. We're focusing on the riff, the percussion, the pre-chorus melody and the guitar solo.
Boss Theme 3 - This is the third Boss Theme from Spider-Man and Venom: Maximum Carnage for the SNES, released in 1994. Composers Chris Jojo and Tony Williams must've been big fans of 80s Heavy Metal as the comparisons to this tune and the Black Sabbath one stack up more than quite possibly any other example in these video game posts. Quite possibly most shocking of all is that the game doesn't even credit Black Sabbath for pinching their song, although I suppose it's a lot easier to deny plagiarism if you don't own up to it.
VERDICT - Absolutely a rip-off. Not just a rip-off but one done as a shitty MIDI file. The win goes to Black Sabbath for creating the song, making it sound awesome and for not getting due credit...although if it were a fist fight, Spider-Man would definitely win.

ROUND THREE: Surfaris vs. Spongebob Squarepants
Wipe Out - A classic Surf Rock tune with an iconic guitar riff and 12-bar Blues structure. It's also notable for the rolling drumbeat in between the riffs...and the vocal introduction of manic laughter followed by the words "wipe out", although we don't need to worry about that here. If the name of the song or band wasn't a dead giveaway, the sound should immediately make you think of surfing and having fun on the beach. It's a summer hit and the fact that it's mostly instrumental means it's easy to rework for video games.
Goo Lagoon - The beach level from Spongebob Squarepants: Battle For Bikini Bottom, a 3D platformer with music composed by Jimmy Levine. As I mentioned before, it's easy to be inspired by instrumental Surf Rock when writing video game music set on a beach where people surf (and presumably rock) so it's no real surprise that there are elements of "Wipe Out" here. Whilst it's not the most overt homage, the signs are definitely there.
VERDICT - I mean, I've already told you, haven't I? It's clearly a homage as none of the main riffs are directly lifted and the Blues chord progression is so damn common that it would be ridiculous to accuse Jimmy Levine of stealing the idea from "Wipe Out". That being said, I'm giving the win to Surfaris. I'd rather listen to "Wipe Out" than the Goo Lagoon level music, although I don't dislike it. The game actually has a colourful collection of fun tunes to listen to.

ROUND FOUR: Duran Duran vs. Double Dragon
Girls On Film - One of Duran Duran's biggest hits with a catchy chorus and, more importantly, intro riff. The guitar chords and their progression are key here, as that's what we'll be comparing. It's not a favourite of mine, even as far as 80s Pop Rock goes, but I don't hate the song. It's passable but it's no "Hungry Like The Wolf" or "Rio", that's for damn sure.
Intro Theme - The intro to Battletoads & Double Dragon for the SNES contains a similar sounding guitar riff despite being released in 1992, about 11 years after the Duran Duran single. Composer David Wise has acknowledged similarities to other 80s Pop Rock in his compositions (such as using the same equipment as "In The Air Tonight" - Phil Collins during a level from Donkey Kong Country 2, I believe) so this riff might be a little more than coincidence.
VERDICT - I think there may have been a cheeky bit of intentional or unintentional riff pinching going on, as this game seems to have very little to do with "Girls On Film" - Duran Duran so I can't see it being a homage or pure coincidence. Whilst the original song did come up with the riff over a decade before the game, I'm giving the win to Double Dragon as I prefer the heavier sound to it. If it was rerecorded with modern instruments, it'd definitely be the better tune.

ROUND FIVE: Alice In Chains vs. Doom
Them Bones - I've never been a big fan of Alice In Chains and the few songs of theirs that I generally enjoy listening to tend to need some form of modification (e.g. speeding up "Man In The Box" 25%) but I still know and admire aspects of this song. The guitar riff is heavy and evil, slowly ascending before plummeting back down again. It's the main riff and chorus that we're paying attention to for this comparison.
Bye Bye American Pie - Despite having spookier accompanying instruments and a less polished sound than the full band sound of Alice In Chains, the chords are seemingly identical in this piece of music from Doom 2 released just two years after "Them Bones". Composer Robert Prince didn't even credit Alice In Chains for this song either, another reason why I believe this is less of a homage and more of the other one.
VERDICT - This is another song that I reckon was a bit of a rip-off considering how similar it is without even crediting the original songwriters. However, if I had to choose which one I think fits its chosen medium better (90s Grunge vs. spooky song in FPS), I prefer the quality of the video game song. It sounds grittier and doesn't contain annoying vocals so the win goes to Doom.

ROUND SIX: Tina Turner vs. Super Smash Bros
Nutbush City Limits (The 90s Version) - Most people probably know the punchier version of this song from the 70s but in 1991, Tina Turner rerecorded this track with a slower tempo and a heavier emphasis on piano. The opening piano chords followed by the Dance Pop synthetic percussion and musical effects might sound familiar to Nintendo fans, as we'll discuss in a moment, but they also turn this song firmly into a Pop track. I debated including it here due to it not being a Rock song but hey, when you hear what I'm comparing it to, you'll understand why it needed talking about.
Targets! - Yep, the Target Smash song from Super Smash Bros. Melee sounds JUST like the 90s version of "Nutbush City Limits", what with the identical piano chords and synth accompaniments. Granted this tune is a little faster and has more guitar in it but it's pretty damn similar all the same. As the tracks progress, more differences emerge but the opening does all the damage necessary in my eyes.
VERDICT - I doubt composer Hirokazu Ando listened to Tina Turner before whacking out this tune so I'm chalking it up to coincidence rather than homage or rip-off. As for which song is better, I'm giving the win to Super Smash Bros simply because I have fond memories of Target Smash (and the Home Run Contest) thanks to this tune. Since it's a coincidence, I have no need to award Tina Turner the win for coming up with the song first and since it's a Dance Pop song instead of a Rock one, I'm not overly fond of the track itself. An easy decision.

ROUND SEVEN: Glenn Frey vs. P.O.W. - Prisoners Of War
The Heat Is On - The classic 80s Pop Rock tune with the saxophone riff and the awesome chorus, notable for its use in Beverly Hills Cop. However, since then it's earned the right to stand up on its own feet via radio play and use in other media. It might not be the most badass 80s Pop Rock song in existence but it doesn't need to be. It's fast, it's catchy and it's got a consistent rhythm that's perfect for car chases and whatever kind of antics you're bound to get into listening to this song.
Boss Battle 2 - Let's face it; not many readers here will know the game P.O.W. - Prisoners Of War on the NES from 1988 (a popular year in this blog post) but some gamers online have made the connection between the Glenn Frey single and a particular melody from the second boss battle theme in this game. It might not be the main focus of the tune but when it crops up, you know damn well that it was lifted from "The Heat Is On". I'm not sure which composer out of Kazuhiro Nishida, Toshikazu Tanaka and Yoko Osaka decided to borrow this melody but the deed has been done.
VERDICT - Definitely Glenn Frey. Whilst the tune in P.O.W. - Prisoners Of War is cute, it doesn't hold a candle to the 80s classic.

ROUND EIGHT: Pink Floyd vs. Rayman
Shine On You Crazy Diamond - This is a long-ass song that has multiple different musical sections but this Prog Rock epic by overrated Prog Rock outfit Pink Floyd contains a slow, four note guitar riff around the four minute mark. It also contains plenty of moody, atmospheric background noise that you usually hear during ambient sections in video games...but it's mostly the four guitar notes we're interested in.
The Bayou - Along with being one of the best 3D platformers in existence, Rayman 2: The Great Escape also contains a level with a long piece of music featuring moody, atmospheric background noise and four guitar notes played in a similar fashion. Composer Eric Chevalier has supposedly been inspired by other bands in his work before but I wouldn't be surprised if Pink Floyd was on that list too.
VERDICT - I don't think this was a rip-off or a homage, as the two pieces of music stand apart more than they stand together. However, I do think it's likely that Eric Chevalier was unintentionally inspired by Pink Floyd and composed a piece of music containing a similar riff. I'm giving the win to Rayman for creating a) the better assortment of creepy music and b) the shorter song.

ROUND NINE: Crash Bandicoot vs. Rob Zombie
The Eel Deal (Hidden) - In Crash Bandicoot 2: Cortex Strikes Back, there are hidden sections in the sewer levels (The Eel Deal, Sewer Or Later and Hangin' Out) that have a thick, heavy bass riffing and percussion effects that sound a little like a clanging piano, not to mention the Techno sound of musical accompaniments. The comparison I'm going to make with the Industrial sound of this tune composed by Mutato Muzika might be a little bit forced but try to stick with me.
Never Gonna Stop (The Red Red Kroovy) - Rob Zombie is known for heavy Industrial music but the section that plays when Rob starts singing reminded me of the music from Crash Bandicoot, particularly the piano melody. As I said before, it's not quite as clear-cut as previous comparisons I've made and whilst there isn't a specific riff or melody that's been copied, it's more about the general sound of the song in comparison to the music from Crash Bandicoot.
VERDICT - Neither a homage or rip-off, absolutely a coincidence. Rob Zombie might be aware of Crash Bandicoot in some way or another but his song sounds closer to his own style of music than a hidden tune from a 90s video game. I'm gonna give the win to Rob Zombie for this one as I prefer his song to this specific tune from Crash Bandicoot 2: Cortex Strikes Back, although on the whole I definitely prefer the music in Crash to the music on a Rob Zombie album.

ROUND TEN: Friendship vs. Mario
Let's Not Talk About It - This little known track from 1979 contains a piano riff that fans of gaming (or just anyone who's been alive within the last 20 years) will almost certainly recognise straight away. There's nothing else you need to know, just that this contains a series of notes played in a curiously specific way that sounds exactly like...
Underground Theme - ...the Underground Theme from Super Mario Bros! Video game legend Koji Kondo composed the classic melody which has stuck with the Mario series ever since it was first released in 1985. However, even though it contains a different string of notes after the initial six, the tune is identical and it's enough for me to raise an eyebrow at the very least.
VERDICT - There's no way Nintendo intended the Underground Theme to be a homage to a 70s band nobody heard of and whilst most people would consider it a coincidence, I also think there's a small possibility that Koji could've heard "Let's Not Talk About It" in passing and figured it was the perfect match for the game he was working on. That being said, I'm awarding the win to Mario as the Underground Theme has become one of Nintendo's iconic tunes and even if it was pinched from a lesser known Rock song, Nintendo certainly used the track in the better way.


COMING SOON (as in, within a month or so): A series of posts about the music from Spyro The Dragon and the Spyro: Reignited Trilogy, similar to ones I wrote about the Crash Bandicoot: N. Sane Trilogy last year.

The ABCs of Producers

I've been meaning to write a blog post on music producers for a while but it wasn't until I reviewed Villains - Queens Of The Stone Age and thought about Mark Ronson's involvement in the album that I decided to actually crack on with it. However, I faced a significant issue; I didn't know much about music producers.
I'd heard a few names on the grapevine and occasionally noted the name of a producer when listening to new albums but I didn't really have more knowledge than that on the subject. So, after many hours researching and listening to music from certain producers, I felt like I was ready to take on the task of writing about them from a somewhat informed perspective. Only problem then was what exactly to write about. Should I write a thinkpiece on the influence of music producers that someone with more knowledge and talent has already covered? How about a funny post comparing them to flavours of ice cream or animals or something?
As you can tell, I scrapped both ideas in favour of a list designed to educate other Rock/Metal fans like me who weren't fully up to date with their producer knowledge. I also decided to compile it in an A-Z arrangement, although I've had to take a few creative liberties to get away with a few tricky letters. As well as listing a few of the producers' greatest hits, I'll also be sharing my opinions on their work and why I feel they're worthy of this list (apologies in advance if I miss any amazing producers).

So without further ado, here are the ABCs of Rock/Metal producers with a bit of Pop and other genres thrown in too.


A is for Steve Albini
Kicking this list off is the recording engineer most known for his work on Surfer Rosa - Pixies and In Utero - Nirvana. Despite having an impressive back catalogue (and a cooking blog), Steve's also notable for being an outspoken man with strong opinions about analogue over digital; he also believes that record producers shouldn't accept royalties for their work on songs and has completely waved all licensing fees producers would normally receive for any track he's worked on (including "Where Is My Mind???" - Pixies and "Heart Shaped Box" - Nirvana).
Music produced by Steve is usually quite straight forward without the need for special effects as he's a firm believer in the "live" sound rather than having band members record their instruments individually. Steve has described his preferred methods for analysing and mixing music involving minor distractions such as reading dull books or playing Scrabble on his phone; activities that don't absorb too much of his concentration but allow him to notice mistakes and imperfections should they appear. All in all, he's a pretty good start to this list; he knows his shit and he's not afraid to speak his clearly well developed mind.

B is for Bob Rock
Bob Rock is arguably one of the biggest names on this list and, in my personal opinion, one of the most overrated. His best known work includes Sonic Temple - The Cult, Dr. Feelgood - Motley Crue, Keep The Faith - Bon Jovi and Metallica - Metallica. However, he's also responsible for subsequent albums by these bands such as Hidden City - The Cult, Motley Crue - Motley Crue and St. Anger - Metallica, not to mention more recent albums by The Offspring and Michael Buble that are on the more commercial side. In other words, he's great at joining a band's career and getting a couple of great albums out of them when they're already successful but his involvement usually signals a decline in the band's quality of music.
Music produced by Bob is usually quite powerful and perfect for stadium gigs. The man knows how to make Rock (which he bloody well should do if it's in his name) but he's quite limited in his creativity. If you want an explosive but unimaginative Rock record that'll probably make a shitload of money to add to your pre-existing shitload of money, Bob's the way to go but if you want something a bit deeper, you're better off finding someone else.

C is for Mike Clink
He may not have a name that's as instantly recognisable as some of the producers on this list but Mike Clink has produced for bands more iconic than anyone on this list. He's worked with Guns N' Roses for five of their albums, he co-produced Megadeth's magnum opus Rust In Peace with Dave Mustaine and nearly produced Metallica's ...And Justice For All until the band decided to use their previous producer, Flemming Rasmussen. He's also worked with Motley Crue, Whitesnake, Heart, UFO and Triumph.
Clink's decision to record using classic equipment typical of albums from the 60s and 70s is what helped make Appetite For Destruction such a massive release, not to mention his technical skills and patience of a saint when rerecording and delicately splicing takes together. He worked closely with Slash when recording guitar riffs as catchy as Axl's vocal melodies and after working long days and longer nights to produce a hit record, the results speak for themselves.

D is for Danger Mouse
Notable Pop producer and the better half of Gnarls Barkley if Cee Lo Green's career is anything to go by, Danger Mouse (real name Brian Joseph Burton) has waded into the waters of Rock recently to produce some damn fine records such as El Camino - Black Keys and The Getaway - Red Hot Chili Peppers. His work seems to focus more on the drums and bass of a record making a more Pop friendly sound that's easier to dance to.
Going off the Rock track for a bit, I love his work on Gnarls Barkley albums and would listen to a third album of theirs in a heartbeat. Until then, I'm happy with him continuing to work with modern Alternative bands to create chart topping singles and great bass heavy Rock tracks with minimal guitar.

E is for Brian Eno
Brian Eno isn't just a musician who's played with Roxy Music, Talking Heads and David Bowie (as well as having his own solo career); he's also a music producer who's worked with U2, Elvis Costello, Coldplay and some of the bands he's recorded with. He's also composed music for Windows '95 and Nokia phones and expressed firm political beliefs without going full Mustaine, but he's on this list for his role as a producer/non-musician/sonic landscaper/other wanky term.
His work seems to emphasise various guitar effects and synthesisers, not to mention blending world music with contemporary Rock/Pop and popularising the use of sampling that would later be used to carry Hip Hop artists across the majority of their career. Whilst his importance in the world of music is undeniable, he seems to have a reputation for associating with artists who are (musically speaking) a bit pretentious and he's not the best producer if you want music with an edge to it. However, as far as Art Rock goes, you're not going to find much more influential than Brian Eno.

F is for Bruce Fairbairn
I nearly wrote this entry about Swedish producer of melodic Death Metal, Fredrik Nordstrom (a great producer and musician, if you were wondering), but then I found out about Bruce Fairbairn, producer of such albums as Get Lucky - Loverboy, Permanent Vacation - Aerosmith, The Razor's Edge - AC/DC, Flesh & Blood - Poison and Slippery When Wet - Bon Jovi. Bruce was the polar opposite of producers who prefer a stripped-back approach, instead opting to go all-in with production in order to create some of the greatest and most explosive Arena Rock and Rock Radio anthems of the 80s.
Despite this keen ear for popular Hard Rock and Hair Metal, Bruce was an avid Jazz fan and played trumpet with the band Sunshyne before they reinvented themselves as 70s Rock group Prism and he reinvented himself as a record producer. His love of brass and horns helped turn Aerosmith's "Dude (Looks Like A Lady)" from a mediocre filler track entitled "Cruisin' For The Ladies" into the comeback hit they needed at that point in their career, all thanks to Bruce's ability to separate the wheat from the chaff. Unfortunately, Bruce passed away in 1999 but his legacy as a hit record producer will live on.

G is for George Martin
No, not the Game Of Thrones guy. This is George Martin responsible for producing all but one of The Beatles' albums. Many people have been given the title "the fifth Beatle" and whilst George has rejected it in favour of their manager Brian Epstein, he easily earned it with his vast musical knowledge and ability to refine the band's sound into something more than your average 60s Garage Rock outfit. As well as working with The Beatles, Geroge also produced for Elton John, Cheap Trick, America and Celine Deon as well as being credited with helping to create the music for the early James Bond films.
Before working with The Beatles, George made a name for himself as a producer for various comedy acts including Bill Oddie, Bernard Cribbins and Peter Sellers but even if his CV consisted of just The Beatles, he'd deserve a space here for his ability to pinpoint exactly what each Beatles single needed (even if John Lennon thought George was overrated in his role as a producer). Oh, and he also contributed piano and organ on a few tracks like "Lovely Rita" and "Being For The Benefit Of Mr. Kite!" respectively.

H is for Isaac Hayes
I could tell you that Isaac Hayes is in this list for his involvement as a Soul producer and that his musical talents expand beyond singing songs about prostitutes and making love on South Park. I could tell you that he was involved as a producer for Booker T. & The M.G's (the band that gave us "Green Onions"...you'll know it when you hear it) and that's why here's here but honestly, he's here because his surname begins with H and it was pretty difficult finding a producer with an H at the start of their name. That being said, this guy knew his music and if anyone with more knowledge about the man's production talents wants to educate me, feel free to do so in the comment section.

I is for Ian Kilmister
Similarly, I had a bit of difficulty finding a producer with I at the start of their forename or surname so this slot is filled with Lemmy, seeing as how Motorhead were occasionally responsible for producing some of their albums (although Jimmy Miller and Speedy Keen were usually the main producers). I don't know exactly how much of the production stage Lemmy was involved with but since he was the key musician involved with the band, I imagine he had a few good ideas thrown about now and then.

J is for Jeff Lynne
Not only is Jeff Lynne the frontman and musical genius behind the Electric Light Orchestra but he's also responsible for producing albums by members of his supergroup The Traveling Wilburys as well as ELO ones too. Considering the man can play every instrument under the sun (and probably a few beyond it, if he had access to them...which he might), it's no surprise that he's adept at producing music too seeing as how he must know exactly how to get the best sound out of each instrument through his years of playing them.
Jeff's received some flack over the years for the quality of the drums in songs he produces but to me, they're not meant to sound dynamic and imposing. Drums seem to be there for the sole purpose of keeping time whilst the bass, strings and vocals are all placed to the front of the mix. However, you can probably attribute that to Jeff's style of songwriting too. As for my opinion on their sound, I think Jeff's music probably speaks louder than his production skills but it's still admirable that he can do both as well as other professionals.

K is for Johnny K
Not a well known name on this list but that doesn't mean he's here just because of the letter K. John Karkazis is an engineer and music producer who's worked with bands like Finger Eleven, Drowning Pool and Machine Head as well as on such albums as "The Sickness" - Disturbed and "Th1rt3en" - Megadeth. However, the main reason he's on this list is because he produced one of my favourite albums; Light From Above - Black Tide. Whilst the band may be the ones who wrote the majority of the tracks, Johnny K helped write one of the tracks ("Enterprise") and likely helped the band with many technical issues too.
Similar to previous Metal producers here, he tends to bring out a cleaner, sharper sound in guitar tones (although that could be attributed to modern recording technology). However, as well as producing Metal records, he's also tried his hand at Alternative and Pop too. As a result, some of his Metal albums sound a bit more commercial such as "Super Collider" - Megadeth. Either way, he knows his onions.

L is for Mutt Lange
Robert John "Mutt" Lange is another well known name on this list. He's produced many albums in his career but some of his bigger hits include "Back In Black" - AC/DC, "Hysteria" - Def Leppard, "4" - Foreigner and recently "Drones" - Muse. He's also produced single tracks for artists such as Heart, Lady Gaga, Huey Lewis & The News, Loverboy and Backstreet Boys, clearly showing a preference for Rock but able to work with more Pop based material too. There's no doubt that Mutt Lange knows how to turn average groups into proper Rock bands with well received albums that are both awesome in their own right and capable of shitting money.
Mutt's style seems to be about high production values and a well polished sound to make a product that's commercially successful, although there have been stories about him being somewhat of a control freak, butting heads with members of Foreigner and Def Leppard over how the album should sound. However, other theories seem to be that Def Leppard arguably owe all their success to the man as he was responsible for High 'N' Dry, Pyromania and Hysteria, their golden trilogy (even if On Through The Night is an underrated classic and Mutt had nothing to do with that). After Mutt left, their popularity started to decline and people believed Mutt was the magic ingredient in making the band great. Regardless of how things went down, we can all agree that Mutt's place on this list goes beyond a simple alphabetic necessity.

M is for Martin Birch
From critically acclaimed producer to a lesser known heavyweight, Martin "Star-Fish" Birch has a great collection of bands under his belt. He started off as an engineer with Fleetwood Mac and Deep Purple, mixing and occasionally producing some of their albums such as "Penguin" and "Stormbringer" respectively. He settled into the role of producer with confidence during his stretch with Rainbow, producing all three albums with Dio on vocals before working with Whitesnake for six years whilst simultaneously producing albums for Black Sabbath and Blue Oyster Cult in 1980 and 1981. However, his main achievement comes in the form of producing eight studio records and one live album for Iron Maiden between 1981 and 1992.
His sound is arguably categorised more by the difference between albums with and without his involvement. Compare the sound of Iron Maiden's debut to Killers or Blue Oyster Cult's Spectres to Fire Of Unknown Origin. Each instrument is a lot clearer in the mix and even though some bands have presented their fair share of challenges in their "creative" decisions (e.g. Iron Maiden choosing to record No Prayer For The Dying in a barn), Martin's ability to get the best out of each band he worked with earns him a place at the halfway point in this list.
Unfortunately, Martin retired after Fear Of The Dark at the age of 42 and whilst it would be good to hear his influence with more modern Hard Rock/Metal bands, I feel like Martin left at the top of his game and his discography will forever be one for the Rock producer hall of fame. All we need now is a Rock producer hall of fame.

N is for Gil Norton
Gil Norton is best known for his work with Indie/Alternative bands, ranging from more experimental groups with 80s influences such as Maximo Park and Echo & The Bunnymen to more popular American Rock bands such as Jimmy Eat World and Counting Crows. However, just because these are some of the bigger names he's worked with doesn't mean he hasn't produced albums for a wide variety of artists, although his biggest achievement is probably working on The Colour And The Shape and Echoes, Silence, Patience & Grace by Foo Fighters (two of their most popular albums).
Gil's style of producing is very personal; he likes to meet or chat with the band beforehand, listening to demos and getting a good idea of where the band wants to take their music. To him, the pre-production stage is the most important part of the job and the musician's passion over technical skill should come through in the material. He's also a firm believer in the importance of personality and that getting on with the people you work with is one of the key factors in making a great album.

O is for Brendan O'Brien
Whilst Gil Norton may have been a key player with Alternative bands in the 80s & 00s, Brendan O'Brien took responsibility for working with heavier Rock bands from the early 90s to recent releases. Some of his work includes Core - Stone Temple Pilots, Vs. - Pearl Jam, The Battle Of Los Angeles - Rage Against The Machine, Black Ice - AC/DC and Victorious - Wolfmother, not to mention mixing and engineering on hit albums such as Blood Sugar Sex Magik - Red Hot Chili Peppers with Rick Rubin (more on him later).
As you can tell by this collection, Brendan's preferred style involves loud guitars, darker tones and dynamic percussion. Some of the lighter albums he's worked on such as Light Grenades - Incubus have benefited from the occasional burst of energy despite lacking screaming guitars and your typical Rock tropes. Compared to other producers in this list, Brendan's style is very hands-on; he isn't afraid to get involved in laying down guitar and bass tracks, pooling ideas together and effectively acting as a member of the band, even if he isn't necessarily part of the songwriting process.

P is for Phil Spector
Even though George Martin is considered the iconic Beatles producer, Phil Spector is the man who's responsible for producing subsequent Beatles compilations and studio album, Let It Be. He produced many other albums before his work with the fab four but his success with their final album is half of what earned him a place on this list. The other half comes from his development of the Wall Of Sound production technique, not the way he murdered his wife in 2003.
The Wall Of Sound isn't the same as the bombardment of hard-hitting music effects such as distortion and high volume, rather it's a dense series of layers comprised of a variety of different instruments that would all combine into one unique noise rather than a series of instruments that you could pick out and enjoy, similar to how mixing a series of varying hues would create a different colour. For example, by mixing different key-based instruments (piano, harpsichord, etc), you can create one solid sound that cannot be achieved by any one of those instruments alone. This has been developed over time to simply compressing certain instruments in the mix (something that modern music fans tend to despise) but the technique still has its place in music history, all thanks to Phil.

Q is for Quincy Jones
One of the biggest producers in the history of music, Quincy Jones (also known as Q) has arguably earned the most fame in the world of Pop/Rock for his work on Michael Jackson's Thriller album. However, many people may also know him as the composer of catchy instrumental "Soul Bossa Nova" (the Austin Powers theme) and the founder of Quincy Jones Productions/Entertainment, the company partly responsible for The Fresh Prince Of Bel-Air and, subsequently, Will Smith's music career.
However, he's here as a music producer and his strength lies mainly with getting the best out of the vocalists he works with. He encourages them to sing with their full soul and has been quoted as saying "You can never be a better musician than you are a person", proving that he's never met Ted Nugent or Gene Simmons before. All in all, Quincy seems like one of the nicest guys in the business and even though he's no Rock/Metal producer, his name carries more weight than any of the other producers on this list...although this next entry gives Q a run for his money.

R is for Rick Rubin
Rick Motherfucking Rubin; Rock's most famous (or infamous) producer who's also pretty skilled at Metal, Pop and Hip-Hop too. Rick helped to launch Hip Hop into the list of mainstream genres due to his work with Run-DMC and the Beastie Boys but since then has gone on to work with a myriad of bands who have produced some of their best or at least better received albums with Rick behind them such as The Cult (Electric), Red Hot Chili Peppers (Blood Sugar Sex Magik), Slayer (Reign In Blood), System Of A Down (Toxicity), Audioslave (Audioslave), Adele (21), Metallica (Death Magnetic) and Mr. Hankey Poo (Mr. Hankey The Christmas Poo).
He's also responsible for introducing Johnny Cash to "Hurt" - Nine Inch Nails and founded Def Jam Records as a teenager, even going as far as to hold a genuine funeral with a casket and approximately 500 guests for the word "def" after it was dropped from his record label. However, despite being a heavy player, not everyone is happy with his style. He's been criticised for his involvement in the Loudness War (making albums progressively louder over a period of time by compressing and clipping the music) and has been called out by several musicians including Corey Taylor of Slipknot and Matt Bellamy of Muse, the latter stating "We'd like to thank Rick Rubin for teaching us how not to produce" on stage at the 2010 MPG awards to cheers from the audience.
Despite this, many musicians value Rick's work and regard him as one of the best in the business due to his ability to identify talent in its natural form. His Rock/Metal albums usually contain very little in the way of frills and high production values, favouring a more raw sound as opposed to technical effects. He's also been known to push bands to play music outside of their conventions, challenging Hip Hop artists to cover Rock and Rock bands to cover Pop. Rick Rubin has to be the most divisive producer on this list but regardless of your opinion on the man and his craft, you have to admit that he isn't where he is by accident.

S is for Tom Scholz
If you're into Classic Rock, this name will probably be familiar to you. Tom Scholz is better known as the guitarist for the band Boston and is one of the main reasons (if not THE main reason) their 1976 self-titled debut is one of the greatest albums ever recorded. Unlike previous debuts where bands tend to stick to one studio to write and record their material, Boston recorded their debut across a variety of studios although most of the tracks were produced in Tom's basement due to his preference to his own equipment. The band pretended to record the material at a professional studio but in the end, only produced one song ("Let Me Take You Home Tonight") the way the record label wanted them to as a way of throwing them off the scent.
Even though John Boylan is regarded as the producer for the album, Scholz is the reason the album sounds the way it does due to his painstaking perfectionism. Tom went to great lengths to ensure he produced an album he was proud of and in the end, the sound quality sounds way ahead of its time due to his technical knowledge and experience. In fact, when he eventually met the professional sound engineers, he felt they were amateurs in comparison. This might sound like arrogance but when you produce an album as strong as Boston's debut on the sly, you're allowed a bit of an ego. Incidentally, the story behind the recording of Boston's debut is a fascinating read if you like the album and a good underdog story.

T is for Terry Date
Terry Date may have a name that sounds like a term for a rough night out but his work as a producer for such Metal albums as Metal Church - Metal Church, Badmotorfinger - Soundgarden, Astro-Creep: 2000 - Songs Of Love, Destruction And Other Synthetic Delusions Of The Electric Head - White Zombie and Cowboys From Hell - Pantera have earned him a place on this list. Despite being adept at producing hard and heavy material, usually leaning towards the darker sound of Metal, Terry's not afraid to have fun with the bands he works with.
As is often the case with Rock/Metal producers, Terry's told more than a few tales and amusing experiences of working with bands like Pantera (e.g. the story of the vocal feedback at the end of "Fucking Hostile") but always seems to remain positive about his work, even if it means dealing with certain notable characters. Terry might not top the list here if it were arranged into "best" or "most significant" producers but he's definitely not at the bottom.

U is for Todd Rundgren
Come on, I was doing well with finding producers to fit the alphabetical pattern until now. I was going to write about U2 and their involvement with some of their own albums but rather than force out a paragraph with little substance, I'm bending the rules to feature an important artist/producer with a hard U in their name. As well as producing his own solo material, Todd Rundgren has worked with Grand Funk Railroad, Hall & Oates, New York Dolls, Patti Smith and Meat Loaf, even playing lead guitar on Bat Out Of Hell and apparently being responsible for most of the arrangements on it too.
But that's not all; Todd's proven himself to be quite the whizz with video and recording technology. Whenever there's a new movement with the potential to pick up speed, Todd's usually one of the first to adopt it. He was there when MTV started, he was there when Video Toaster launched and he attempted to start an online company built around offering fans exclusive unreleased music for a subscription fee without the need for record labels to take a wedge of the profit back in the 90s, 20 years before the popularity of websites like Patreon took off. Todd's ability to spot a golden idea is matched by his experimental producing style and talents as a musician, earning him a place over U2.
However, if there is a producer with a U at the start of their surname or first name who's worthy of this list, feel free to let me know.

V is for Butch Vig
So far, we've seen some of Rock's most iconic albums and their producers in this list but there's one album we've yet to look at; Nevermind - Nirvana. For that, you can thank Butch Vig. Butch started off producing for bands such as Killdozer and The Other Kids in the 80s before taking on his first big job in 1990 producing Nirvana's second album, although some of you may feel he should've stuck to producing lesser bands. Nevermind showed a more commercial side to the Grunge outfit partly due to Vig's decision to use double-tracking and overdubs, something Kurt Cobain objected to at the time but grew to appreciate. The success of the album led to Vig taking on bigger jobs and better albums such as Siamese Dream - Smashing Pumpkins, Dirty - Sonic Youth, 21st Century Breakdown - Green Day and Sonic Highways - Foo Fighters.
As well as producing, Vig also formed and drummed for the band Garbage, expressing a desire to record music that incorporated other styles and genres as opposed to the homogenised sound of mainstream Rock at the time. Vig clearly has a talent for knowing how to utilise a band's existing talents whilst introducing new ideas that may seem unconventional at the time but ultimately work in their favour. He's also not afraid to take the longer, more difficult route to achieve a single goal, as proven by his work on Wasting Light - Foo Fighters using analogue equipment in Dave Grohl's garage.

W is for Butch Walker
From one Butch to another, Butch Walker has produced more Pop or Pop Rock albums than most entries on this list. Some of the bands/artists he's worked with include Weezer, Avril Lavigne, Katy Perry, Fall Out Boy, Taylor Swift and Pink so needless to say he's not one of my personal favourites although he's still pretty highly regarded in the world of music. The albums he's worked on have been well received and he's shown talents as a guest musician and songwriter too.
As a modern producer, Butch has the benefit of decades worth of material from previous producers to work with as influences and inspirations. However, his abilities as a producer come from his talents as a musician. Whilst he might not be in the same league as Jeff Lynne, Butch has a modest but impressive list of instruments he can play covering most bases on the albums he produces.

X is for Max Martin
I'm not entirely sure how this guy took the name Max Martin as his real name is Karl Martin Sandberg but regardless of whatever name he goes by, he's arguably one of the most successful producers and songwriters on this list. He's produced the second highest amount of number one hits (after George Martin) and some of his produced tracks include "Everybody (Backstreet's Back)" - Backstreet Boys, "...Baby One More Time" - Britney Spears, "It's My Life" - Bon Jovi, "So What" - Pink, "California Girls" - Katy Perry and "Shake It Off" - Taylor Swift.
Since Max is predominantly a Pop producer, most of the albums he works on have co-producers whom he has to work with. Fortunately, most of them cite Max is being the main man in control and called his work highly influential. He believes the most important factor in a hit Pop song is that you need to "feel" the music as well as just hear it; that the song makes you want to listen to it repeatedly and the vocals are the key to unlocking this. Max also thinks a fluid chorus with energy that changes throughout the song is important, even if the melody is exactly the same. Even if you don't care for modern Pop, Max clearly knows how to produce a tune that sells like hot cakes.

Y is for Neil Young
Whilst David Briggs is generally considered to be the main producer on the majority of Neil Young's albums, Neil himself took on the task of producing his music too. However, Neil's here for one main reason; his passionate hatred of digital media. Neil's gone on record as blasting .mp3s and services like Spotify for offering poor sound quality compared to the original studio sessions, even going as far as removing all of his music from Spotify until they improved their sound quality until he realised that was stupid and put it all back again. He even started up a company called Pono dedicated to delivering better quality digital music on a subscription system.
Unfortunately, his argument for Pono's superiority compared to iTunes media was that there was a clear difference between Pono's files and low quality files, although iTunes doesn't release low quality ones. The difference in sound between Pono files and iTunes ones is too microscopic to warrant the less efficient Pono device and excessive price compared to most digital distribution sites. So basically, Neil's got a solid argument but has yet to actually do anything useful about it. However, it's worth noting his good intentions should be mirrored by producers regardless of the genre they're working on; it's artists/producers like Neil Young who keep complacent producers in check who don't give a fuck about the sound quality as long as they think the song itself will make money.

Z is for Jon Zazula
Finally, here we are. The end of the list and the final producer...or is it? I may have one more producer to write about but first, let's look at Mr Zazula. Johnny Z is probably better known for starting Megaforce records, the label that gave us Testament, Anthrax and Metallica as well as other popular Thrash Metal bands. However, despite managing and producing great albums by these incredible bands, there is one common trait that links albums like The Legacy - Testament, The Years Of Decay - Overkill and Spreading The Disease - Anthrax; they sound like shit. Absolute shit. Compare the sound quality of these records to other Metal albums released throughout the 80s and it's a shocking difference. It's debatable how much of this is down to Jon Zazula's input but even if he was one of the best engineers involved, I still believe there's a much better producer who deserves a spot over Johnny Z...


Z should be for Bob Ezrin
Bob's worked on albums such as Welcome To My Nightmare - Alice Cooper, Berlin - Lou Reed, Destroyer - KISS and The Wall - Pink Floyd, as well as other successful albums by these bands and others (except Lou Reed). Alice Cooper has called Bob Ezrin the George Martin of their band and if it wasn't for his work with KISS, they probably wouldn't be the household names in Rock we're all indifferent to now. His style seems to involve giving albums a grand or heavy sound, whether it's by using children's voices to give music a more theatrical feel or encouraging musicians to rework tracks by combining separate great but unfinished ideas (e.g. an Alice Cooper song called "Reflected" that would go on to become "Elected").
Recently, he's earned some popularity/flack for daring to criticise the Lord of Hip Hop, the immortal voice of a generation, Kanye West. He accused Kanye of being uninspired and that his music doesn't do anything new compared to other Hip Hop artists like NWA or Grandmaster Flash; Bob also claimed Kanye's fame and popularity comes from his ego and outlandish behaviour rather than genuine skill at his craft. Kanye, of course, resorted to a Twitter rant where he claimed Bob (and presumably every other middle-aged white record producer) shouldn't talk about "rap" and brought Bob's kids into the argument.
I have no idea if Kanye has since attempted to fire back at Bob with a song of some kind (you know, the things he's supposed to be famous for making) but if his reaction proved anything, it's that Bob Ezrin not only knows about what makes a great Rock record but also a shitty Hip Hop one.


Do you agree with my list? Have I included a fair variety of producers to cover each style, genre and skill? Let me know via Twitter or the comment section.
COMING SOON: Album reviews for Foo Fighters, UFO and The Darkness.

Showdown: Halestorm ReAniMate covers, part one

Most of my Showdown posts have been focusing on a variety of artists but let's not forget that my very first Showdown post was looking at covers by one band and one band only. In this two part blog post, I'll be looking at three EPs by the band Halestorm covering a selection of Rock, Metal and occasionally Pop tunes in their awesome style before weighing up pros and cons of the originals against the covers and ultimately deciding which version of each track is superior.

Since there are 18 songs across all three EPs, I'm splitting this blog post into two parts containing nine songs each. That means part one (the post you're reading now) contains all of the songs on the first EP and three of the songs off the second one. I'll deliver an overall verdict for each EP and a final verdict for all 18 songs in part two.
Right, all clear? Thank fuck, let's get listening!

EDIT: Forgot to add this Spotify playlist of each song (original and cover, minus one original song). Feel free to listen to it as you read my write-ups!


ROUND ONE: Slave To The Grind
Skid Row - Not my favourite Skid Row track but a good Metal tune with heavy riffing and a catchy chorus. The solo's a little dull but I guess that's one of the drawbacks of moving from Hair Metal to Heavy Metal. Either way, it's got a punch to it and it's a good opening song to cover if the intention is to announce "Hey, we're fuckin' here!".
Halestorm - The difference in key hits you straight away but if I'm honest, I kinda like it. It makes the chorus sound a hell of a lot better and the main thing is the energy is still there. I expect I'm probably going to say this a lot but Lizzy Hale's vocals fucking rock and definitely keep up with the original. The guitar solo sounds a little beefed up as well so all in all, a great cover!
VERDICT - A very strong entry from Halestorm right out of the gate earns them a win here. They picked the right song to kick things off and whilst the Skid Row original is good, the Halestorm cover is fucking great!

ROUND TWO: Bad Romance
Lady Gaga - I don't mind Lady Gaga as a person; she seems pretty cool and the fact that she's a fan of Heavy Metal means that her music isn't your typical Pop shite. However, at the end of the day, it is still modern Pop and even though I like some of her tunes ("Applause" being the only one at the time of typing this), "Bad Romance" isn't a song I like listening to. The vocal melody she sings throughout reminds me too much of the intro to "Self Esteem" - The Offspring (a much better song!) and the music is just generic beats and synth. It's a vocally driven song, so I have high hopes for the cover!
Halestorm - See, this is what Lady Gaga could've released if she didn't sell out her musical taste for the easier opportunity for fame. Not only does this song sound fucking sweet now but Lizzy Hale pisses all over Lady Gaga's vocals. In fact, the entire band deserve a shout out here. They've taken generic Pop music and done the best they possibly could've done with the source material. It might not sound like an amazing Metal song but it's a hell of a good cover that treats the original with respect whilst also injecting new life into it.
VERDICT - Halestorm all the way. No doubt in my mind. Hopefully Lady Gaga has listened/will listen to their version and think "maybe I should write more tunes like this" before ultimately deciding she'd rather make a fuckton of cash selling more Pop singles.

ROUND THREE: Hunger Strike
Temple Of The Dog - I didn't want to write about this song/band/album in my recent Chris Cornell post because honestly, I fucking hate it. It's slow, it's depressing and the vocal duet does nothing for me. It might have some fine Grunge riffs but the soft guitar melodies mixed with the pained screeches of Chris Cornell are off putting. It's also a song in which nothing happens. It ends as it starts and by the time it's finished, you'll want your time back...or at least I did.
Halestorm - This song sounds like something you'd hear during the credits of a Michael Bay film. By that, I mean it sucks. It's a good effort and if you like the original, you'll probably enjoy aspects of it but Grunge fans likely won't. It's a bit too upbeat and whilst each band member is on top form (yes, including Lizzy Hale), it's nothing to write home about.
VERDICT - Tough call. I'm not a fan of either track but if I have to choose based on a mix of which track I'd rather listen to again and which track I personally believe is the stronger recording, I feel like awarding the win to both bands. However, since I'm trying to avoid this, I'm going with Halestorm due to personal taste. The Temple Of The Dog original is a better Alternative/Grunge track but at least the Halestorm cover doesn't fill me with the urgent need to switch the song off.

ROUND FOUR: Out Ta Get Me
Guns N' Roses - I didn't even remember this song off Appetite For Destruction and chances are I still won't remember it a week from now but if you want typical GNR, you get it here. Solid Slash work, Axl doing his thang, Steven Adler keeping the song together on drums and the rest of the band enjoying the ride. Personal opinions on Axl Rose aside, this is an OK Hard Rock filler track. Not "You Could Be Mine" or "Anything Goes" level but it's passable.
Halestorm - Musically, this sounds about as close as you can get to classic GNR. Vocally, it shits all over Axl; then again, the automated voice narration on laptops would give that washed up tosser a run for his money BUT AXL OPINIONS ASIDE, this is a great cover. Unfortunately, it's also a relatively easy cover. I'm not sure why the band picked this track as it's possibly one of the safest GNR songs to cover if you were worried about not doing the band justice; it would've been neat to hear them cover a bigger song, especially with the band's track record so far.
VERDICT - Definitely Halestorm. Guns N' Roses did a decent job of writing a middle-of-the-road Rock song but Halestorm kicked it up a notch.

ROUND FIVE: All I Wanna Do Is Make Love To You
Heart - We've had mediocre modern Pop, now it's time for mediocre 90s Pop! The weird thing is, this Heart song isn't even an original Heart track. It's based off a song from the 70s called "All I Want To Do Is Make Love To You" but with different lyrics. It's as radio friendly as an advert for PPI and it's as lame as Christian Hip Hop so why Halestorm would want to cover it is beyond me.
Halestorm - Yup, it's still rubbish. Of all the awesome Heart songs they could've picked, Halestorm went for one from their dull Pop phase. It might have heavier music and vocals but it still sounds like mid 2000s dirge from the likes of Paramore and other crap tween bands masquerading as Rock.
VERDICT - There wasn't a single aspect of either song I liked so I'm giving the win to Heart. Both songs are dull but at least Heart's version is closer to a good Pop song than Halestorm's cover is to a good Rock song, if that makes sense.

ROUND SIX: I Want You (She's So Heavy)
The Beatles - I've talked about this track before on my post on The Beatles: Rock Band but the summary is I hate it. It goes on for FUUUUCKING AGES at the end and the rest of the song, regardless of how good the bass is, fails to redeem it. Once again, I find myself asking why Halestorm chose this song to cover out of all the great Beatles tracks that would've transitioned into incredible Metal versions but I reckon the answer may have something to do with the fact that it costs an arm, a leg and a gallon of leprechaun blood to license The Beatles so this could've been one of the cheaper tunes.
Halestorm - Hats off to Halestorm, this cover actually has its moments during the shittier slow bits. It sounds like good Ozzy Osbourne and unlike the original, there's actually more happening. Lizzy's belting out vocals and the instrumental mix changes. However, the verses are weak. They don't sound right on a Metal song.
VERDICT - Halestorm took a terrible song and made it a bit weak. Even if it's still ultimately a loss, they did the best they could and therefore Halestorm have earned a win. They can pin it to their fridge, seeing as how much better wins are occupying their metaphorical mantle.

SCORES (ReAniMate: The CoVeRs eP):
Originals - 1
Halestorm - 5

ReAniMate: The CoVeRs eP rating: 8/10

ROUND SEVEN: Dissident Aggressor
Judas Priest - We're onto the second covers EP now and once again, Halestorm have picked a solid song to start things off. It's not as powerful as some of their later songs but it's got a good driving rhythm and some classic 70s Metal riffing. Halford's vocals in the chorus are good, though. A nice little back and forth with himself, which is also a good way to figuratively describe his attitude to performing "Breaking The Law" live nowadays...he jerks off, basically.
Halestorm - The music sounds heavy and the guitarwork is impressive although for once, Lizzy Hale's vocals don't quite do it for me. Her back and forth in the chorus sounds poorly mixed but otherwise, she kicks ass. However, compared to previous covers, it's a bit of a step down and I think Slayer's cover of this song is better overall.
VERDICT - I've got to give it to Judas Priest here. They wrote and performed a good song and whilst the Halestorm cover isn't bad, it doesn't bring anything new and exciting to the table like they did with other covers.

ROUND EIGHT: Get Lucky
Daft Punk - This song is catchy, I'm not denying that. However, it's also a bit...bland. It sounds like the kind of song written to be used in the background of a thirty second advert for Bet365, not something for millions of fans to purchase and listen to for four-six minutes (depending on which version you buy). However, if you like Funk, you'll probably get a kick out of this.
Halestorm - Not a bad cover! I love what the band have done with the guitar, giving it a "Dr. Feelgood" vibe with some little melodies in the verse and chorus (not to mention the small but tidy solo). As a joke cover (think some of the Children Of Bodom covers), this song rocks. As an attempt at a Metal version of a Pop song, it's meh with some strong elements.
VERDICT - It's obvious, isn't it? Halestorm gave us a fun Metal cover and a passable Metal song if you don't know much Metal.

ROUND NINE: Shoot To Thrill
AC/DC - The Iron Man 2 song in all its glory. Some good riffs and a catchy chorus, although the song does go on a little bit too long. However, the best parts of the song are probably the intro riffs and the outro solo...in other words, the bits used in Iron Man 2. Considering this song was on the first album released after Bon Scott's death, it's a pretty good tune to give fans confidence that the band could still Rock.
Halestorm - Of all the AC/DC songs to cover, this one's a good choice. Well known and easy to faithfully recreate. The main difference lies in the vocals (what a shocker!) and whilst I'm not the biggest fan of Brian Johnson, Lizzy Hale's voice sounds a bit tame here. I was expecting something a bit heftier from her but she must've recorded this cover on an off day. Shame.
VERDICT - The problem with covering AC/DC is that no matter how heavy your instruments or different your vocals, it will always sound like an AC/DC song due to Angus' ability to create iconic and signature riffs. Your only option is to try and match AC/DC's quality without changing too much, which is sadly what Lizzy Hale tried to do on vocals, hence AC/DC winning this round.


That's part one! Part two will be with you soon!

inFinite - Deep Purple

Hopefully you all got the April Fool's gag last week and didn't actually think I enjoyed the setlist to Guitar Hero Live in any way, shape or form. Here's a straight review of the new Deep Purple album to balance things out.

It's strange to see websites still list Deep Purple as Hard Rock as this album makes it perfectly clear that the band have fully transitioned into the Prog Rock genre. At the very least, they're Hard Prog but Prog nonetheless. It makes sense for the band to make this shift as they're all getting on a bit now and having lost two of their strongest assets to death and Folk (although Blackmore's revisiting Rainbow material now), there's no way they could possibly hope to recreate the iconic Hard Rock anthems they seemed to casually pump out in the early 70s.
Instead, they've opted to combine the Blues elements of Hard Rock with the instrumental aspects of Prog, creating an incredible sound utilised in such a poor way. If there was a list of everything that could be described as the "absolute worst", I reckon Mediocre Prog would fall somewhere between waiting in a queue caused by a fuckwit at the checkout and having dental surgery. Sadly, quite a few songs on inFinite are in that camp, even if each member of the band (except one) is going strong. Fortunately, the album opener isn't one of those.
"Time For Bedlam" may have a punchy rhythm and reminds us that the band haven't lost it but Don Airey's use of organ sounds more like Uriah Heep than Deep Purple. This isn't necessarily a bad thing but it does signify a slight step down in quality at the earliest juncture, even if the song is great. Don Airey and Steve Morse on keys and guitar are one of the album's greatest attributes, followed by Roger Glover's bass and Ian Paice's restrained but densely packed, well orchestrated drumming. That just leaves Ian Gillan on vocals and this is where the album runs into a sizable wall.

Gillan's vocals used to be incredible when he had some passion in his pipes. However, since DP have moved on from being the loudest band in the world, Gillan's vocals needed to make the successful transition too. Instead, they just sound flat and bored, dampening the majority of songs on this album. The only track where Gillan's vocals seemed to work was "The Surprising", which benefited from a different sound to the lion's share of the tracks and a more typically progressive structure like you'd hear in a modern Iron Maiden song. It's a good track if you can ignore the fact that the guitar sounds a little too close to "Highway Song" - Blackfoot for comfort.
There are other songs that attempt to stand apart from the Hard Prog filler such as "Johnny's Band", a track built around a strong riff with more subtle keyboard sections, and album closer "Roadhouse Blues", a cover of the song by The Doors. It's an upbeat end to the album but it comes across as self indulgent when it follows "Birds Of Prey", the band's attempt at an epic Prog finale. Also, it doesn't help that Gillan's voice is especially terrible when compared to Jim Morrison's, even though it was probably Gillan who championed the inclusion of this cover on the album.
Crappy vocals aside, the band are in their element and whilst Ian Paice doesn't sound like he's breaking a sweat on any of these songs, you can tell he's still trying to create great drum rhythms ("On Top Of The World"). It's the fills and rudiments throughout the songs that speak louder than the generic 4/4 beats. Roger Glover's bass sometimes blends in with Don Airey's organ a little too well but if you listen for it, you can hear it thudding away ("All I Got Is You"). Steve Morse gets a few moments in the spotlight where he can impersonate Richie Blackmore ("Get Me Out Of Here") but when him and Don Airey are double teaming together, it sounds phenomenal.

There's one message being broadcast underneath the layers of each track on inFinite; the band still have life in them but Ian Gillan doesn't. What Deep Purple need is a Ronnie James Dio figure to push the band members into challenging themselves with faster rhythms, more complex solos and more progressive finales. It's almost as if the band wanted the best of both Hard Rock and Prog Rock, which can work if each member of the band is able to commit to it. Unfortunately, I don't see any member of DP agreeing to boot Gillan out now so this is it.
I rate the album 6/10 for being musically solid but devoid of any fire or ambition. It pains me to hear such a once-incredible vocalist moaning his way through the album like he couldn't give a fuck, especially when the other band members (new and original) are earning their crust. Normally I'd say "perhaps they're better live" but having seen them live, I can confirm that we're not missing out on anything. What you hear on inFinite is what they've got. Their days of creating the next "Smoke On The Water" have been over for decades but that didn't stop them from giving us "Mad Dog" or "The Cut Runs Deep".

Showdown: Rerecords

This post was requested back in November but it's finally here now. This time, I'm comparing two recordings of a single track by the same band over a couple of decades to see whether the band still have their spark or if their talent has faded away over time.
It's quite a straightforward format; I'll talk about the original recording first, then the rerecording before wrapping it up with my verdict as to which is best. I should also mention that I'm aiming to pick 10 different bands for this post and some artists are known for having several notable rerecords so if I pick the "wrong" track to discuss, I apologise. Unlike previous posts, most of these comparisons will be looking at small details in the songs rather than comparing two completely different entities so this post is one for fans of that sort of thing.

ROUND ONE: "Cult Of Personality" - Living Colour
Original (1988) - The original and the band's biggest hit, even if the riff did come about accidentally. I have to say, even if this isn't one of many favourite songs to listen to in any category, it might just be a perfect Rock song. Epic riff, awesome hooks throughout, decent structure, great outro and, of course, that solo. There isn't a single beat in this song that could've been done better if it was changed for something different so props to Living Colour for that.
Rerecord (2007) - Rerecorded for Guitar Hero 3: Legends Of Rock and virtually indistinguishable from the original unless you listen to them side by side or know the solo well. Whilst there are a few little subtle changes here and there (such as sustains in the verse and clearer percussion in the mix), the key difference in this recording is the intensity of the solos. Since it was rerecorded for GH, they presumably decided to make it more challenging for the players and by gum, I'm glad they did!
VERDICT - I should probably listen to more Living Colour as the high quality of their music hasn't faltered at all in that space of time. However, I am giving the win here to the Original for being what I consider the better song. The rerecord might have more furious shredding in the solos which is fun for playing Guitar Hero but kind of soulless when you're listening to it as a song. Fortunately, it's still a great rerecord although you'll probably enjoy it more if you have memories of playing it on GH.

ROUND TWO: "Heavy Metal Thunder" - Saxon
Original (1980) - It's been tricky to find tracks for this list that weren't discovered due to Guitar Hero/Rock Band but alas, here's our first! Album opener off Strong Arm Of The Law and most likely named after the lyric from "Born To Be Wild" - Steppenwolf that gave birth to the genre's official title, "Heavy Metal Thunder" is a rapid bastard of a track. Most people will know Saxon for "Wheels Of Steel" and if they knew Saxon were capable of this kind of Metal, they'd probably be more popular overseas.
Rerecord (2002) - I've gone on record as saying Saxon are one of the few bands in existence that have actually improved with age so I couldn't miss these guys out when writing about rerecords. I chose this track as it was picked not only as the album opener for the compilation this came from but also the song for the compilation to be named after. In terms of differences between this and the original, they're a bit easier to spot than the previous track. Heavier drums, more prominent/complex guitar, slightly less prominent bass, longer outro and a generally superior sound quality due to modern recording equipment.
VERDICT - You probably could've guessed this but it's going to the Rerecord. Even if you ignore the cleaner sound on the 2002 version, the original just doesn't sound as powerful as a track like "Heavy Metal Thunder" deserves to be. If anything, the 1980 original sounds like the weaker rerecord of a lesser band, although I do still like that version.

ROUND THREE: "Detroit Rock City" - KISS
Original (1976) - Probably one of the best KISS singles that most Rock fans would know and definitely superior to signature songs by the band. Even though it contains heavy riffs and a relatively weak guitar solo, this track is arguably  carried by the vocals and bass throughout, standing it apart from your typical air-guitar arena anthems of the genre. The only thing that really ruins it is the 1:29 of car noises (and another fucking KISS recording) before the track actually starts, not to mention the shrill car crash effects at the end.
Rerecord (2008) - Released as part of a Japanese collection of rerecords entitled Jigoku-Retsuden (Intense Transmission From Hell), this version of "Detroit Rock City" is mostly the same as the original except for a few small points. 1) The tempo is slightly slower. 2) The backing vocals and instruments sound a little different, due to the change in band members. 3) The introduction with the car effects has gone, although a few driving sounds can be heard throughout the song.
VERDICT - I should give it to the 2008 version for cutting out the intro but the win belongs to the Original for being slightly faster. Single edits and remasters can remove the car effects but the slower tempo can't be changed, making the rerecording ever so slightly worse, in my opinion.

ROUND FOUR: "Come Sail Away" - Styx
Original (1977) - Along with "Mr. Roboto", this is probably one of the most well known Styx songs out there to the general public. Whilst it isn't my personal favourite, it's not a bad tune with a nice piano intro and an awesome Rock build up as the song progresses. It might be a little too long-winded and synthy for many people's tastes but if you can make it to the words "come sail away" in the actual song, I think you'll be alright. This song's also pretty good when sped up 25% too.
Rerecord (2010) - Styx are one of the many Arena Rock bands that have felt the need to rerecord a bunch of their classic material in recent years due to lineup changes (and possibly original song royalties going to ex partners after bad divorces) so it's no surprise that "Come Sail Away" appeared on an EP entitled Regeneration: Volume 1 containing some of the band's other hits. Whilst the piano intro is spot on, the rest of the track is noticeably heavier when the guitar comes in and the drums sound a bit better too. Oh, and the guitar solo during the outro gets a bit more love too.
VERDICT - This might piss off purists but I'm going with the Rerecord on this one. Better sound, heavier riffs, more complex solo and still retains everything that made the original awesome. No question, I'd rather listen to that version if given a choice.

ROUND FIVE: "No Time" - The Guess Who
Original (1969) - It's a good 20 seconds before this song becomes a song instead of shitty noise so we're off to a poor start already. However, once the drums come in, it's all sorted out. It's got a semi-psychedelic vibe to it and if you've never heard the song before, I recommend listening to this version first. Those who've heard the rerecording but didn't know there was an original version might be interested to learn the main difference involves this track being longer due to an added guitar solo and verse.
Rerecord (1970) - Yup, it only took a year for this band to realise they could do better. Once again, the differences vary from obvious to subtle here. Obvious being the shorter song length and more radio-friendly nature to the track, subtle being the slightly faster tempo and musical consistency in the chorus. A common link between each of these songs seems to be the difference in outro too, as this song fades out instead of ending like the original.
VERDICT - This is a tricky one. On the one hand, I like the shorter version for being a tighter recording but on the other, I like listening to the band giving me more music to enjoy in the original. However, if I had to pick one to listen to for the rest of my life, I'd pick the Rerecord as I didn't feel like I'd miss any of the extra material in the longer version.

ROUND SIX: "Blackout" - Scorpions
Original (1982) - Surprised I'm not picking "Rock You Like A Hurricane"? I'll explain why in the next paragraph but first, let's look at this track from the album with the same name. It's a great Metal track that's probably overlooked thanks to songs like "Wind Of Change" and the aforementioned "Rock You Like A Hurricane" but it's got everything a good Metal song from the early 80s needed: solid riff, decent solo, screeching vocals and a study driving rhythm. I'd listen to this song more if not for the shitty ending; you know what I'm talking about.
Rerecord (2011) - Since the covers/rerecords album this came from was called Comeblack, I thought I'd pick the track that half the portmanteau is named after. It's pretty faithful to the original, although since Klaus Meine's vocals have deepened over the years, the song has to be tuned down a key. Combine this with the cleaner recording equipment and heavier drumming to make what sounds like more of a Metal track.
VERDICT - It's another win for the Rerecord army, I'm afraid. As I said above, the 2011 version sounds more like Metal to me and the improved ending without the glass smashing helps significantly too. For the record, I love the original track too and own both versions of the song on my phone.

ROUND SEVEN: "Juke Box Hero" - Foreigner
Original (1981) - Oooooh, I fucking love that bass! One of Foreigner's popular Hard Rock tracks that isn't a power ballad and definitely one of their best! Even if the vocals sound a bit raw now and then, the music and story told throughout the song are perfect Arena Rock material, although it'd be cool if the solo had a bit more going for it. Otherwise, it's awesome though. Bonus points go to this song for the use of dynamics in the mix to help get your adrenaline pumping.
Rerecord (2011) - Again, I chose this due to it coming from a bonus disc of rerecords named after this song...that and that it's an awesome song. Straight away, you can hear more synth and a lower key but if you listen closely, you can hear the dynamics in this mix are a little more balanced between the soft build up and loud pay off. Whilst this is definitely a reduction in quality, the chorus sounds fucking brilliant in the new key. Another big difference is the solo, which has been vastly improved. Even if there are some similarities, it sounds more like an actual guitar solo than the original.
VERDICT - Fuuuck, another tricky call to make. Whilst the 2011 version has the improved solo and chorus, I'm giving it to the Original purely down to the dynamics. They could've made the rerecord fucking incredible if they got the mix right but it just sounds flat compared to the 1981 version. Maybe that's just me but all I know is I got shivers listening to the original and nothing with the rerecord.

ROUND EIGHT: "Under The Sky" - The Answer
Original (2006) - As far as debut album openers for modern Rock bands go, this one's pretty sweet! Good rhythm, tasty riffs on guitar and bass, great vocals and a well written structure. It's one of the stronger tracks on Rise (although not my personal favourite) and I'm sure it was at least partially responsible for their career taking off, even if a different song off the album was featured on the Guitar Hero: World Tour soundtrack.
Rerecord (2016) - Last year, The Answer decided to release a 10th anniversary version of their debut and with it came a new version of this song...just this song. To be honest, if you didn't know either track that well, you'd find it tricky to identify which one came first as aside from a shorter intro, they're basically identical. With a couple of listens, you can hear a few minor tweaks in the sound quality but that's all. Each band member seems to remember this song fondly as they can recreate it perfectly, which begs the question as to why they bothered rerecording and releasing this track anyway.
VERDICT - Since both tracks sound the same, I have to look to the biggest difference; the intro. Personally, I much prefer the screaming guitar and build up at the start of the 2006 version over the basic strumming and drumming of the 2016 one so it's an easy choice. Original wins this round hands down.

ROUND NINE: "Iron Fist" - Motorhead
Original (1982) - I knew Motorhead was going to be in this list at some point but I didn't know which track until I started going through all the ones in Guitar Hero and Rock Band. I've already written about "Overkill" and "Ace Of Spades" so the next choice was either "Iron Fist", "Love Me Like A Reptile" or "(We Are) The Road Crew"; since "Iron Fist" was the first rerecord I heard after "Overkill", it had to be this one. It's basically another "Ace Of Spades" with two solos and a shitty fade out but if you like Motorhead's sound, you'll like this song.
Rerecord (2008) - I don't know if Motorhead rerecorded a bunch of songs just for GH/RB but somewhere out there is a collection of recordings from 2008 that will hopefully be released one day now that Lemmy's passed away. Since the other two band members have changed since the 70s/80s, the main difference in song quality is down to the guitar and drums. Personally, I fucking love the guitar in this song. Phil Campbell's work sounds a lot better here and at least this version has a proper outro.
VERDICT - Definitely the Rerecord. Motorhead stayed strong all the way to the end and I'm actually pretty fucking gutted that I never got a chance to see them live. However, their music will always live on and even if it seems like a bit of a hollow cash grab on the part of band/family members, I would be very interested in listening to unreleased rerecords of Motorhead material. If the Jimi Hendrix estate can get away with it, so can these guys.

ROUND TEN: "Long Red" - Leslie West
Original (1969) - Bet none of you expected this for the last song. There are a bunch of Arena Rock songs I could've picked but I feel like we've had enough them so far. Instead, I chose a song that has possibly the biggest gap between rerecords I can find. This song's often attributed to the band Mountain (the band Leslie West would form after this album, also named Mountain) and even though they've played it live, it is a Leslie West song. It's built around a lovely little keyboard riff with acoustic guitar laying down the backing melody. It's a gentle track that deserves a lot more radio play than it's getting.
Rerecord (2013) - Not only does this have a whopping gap of 44 years between recordings but it's probably the only track on here that sounds totally different to the original. Granted it keeps the same structure and you can sort of tell it's still Leslie singing but if you didn't know it was by him, you'd have trouble working out that it was a rerecord. It's slightly heavier/cleaner on each instrument, the vocals are naturally deeper, the guitar riff between verses is played differently, the song fades out on organ instead of guitar and there are more guitar solos throughout. In short, this is probably more of a Rock song than the original.
VERDICT - I love both versions of this track for different reasons but I think I need to go with the Original on this one. It's that song that I fell in love with and to me, it's the delicate tone of that song that works best with the lyrics and music. However, that's not to say Rock covers/rerecords aren't awesome too. If you like the song and Classic Rock, check out Mountain's live version from 1972. Also, check out "Home Is Where I Want To Be" - Mott The Hoople, a song that was almost certainly heavily inspired by this track (further backed up by the fact that a cover of "Long Red" appears on the same album this is from!).


Aaaand it's a tie again! 5 for Originals, 5 for Rerecords. Not that I'm trying to prove one's objectively better than the other, of course. Now it's time for the bit I always include at the end of these posts in the hope that I'll get more feedback: do you agree with this list? Did I miss any famous rerecords or do you have any to recommend? Let me know in the comments and (say it with me now...) via Twitter!

Tenology: Absolute Axls In Rock/Metal

If you haven't read my Rock Glossary blog post, you might not know what I mean by "Absolute Axls" and I wouldn't blame you, seeing as how I coined the term.

An Axl is a single factor in a pretty awesome Rock/Metal song that spoils it, named after the Guns N' Roses vocalist Axl Rose whom I have determined to be the sole component in every one of their songs that prevents them from being truly great. Granted you can apply this to a bunch of other names known in the Rock community for screwing up perfectly working dynamics in bands (e.g. Yoko Ono, Van Hagar) but to me, none really convey the message that the song would otherwise be bloody brilliant if not for one whiny, mewling, self-obsessed, wankstain of a blemish quite like 'Axl'.
So what better way of introducing yet another dig at the portly GNR vocalist than an entire blog post dedicated to listing ten fuckups in Rock/Metal songs with his name attached to each of them? As usual, Tenology posts aren't the same as Top Ten posts. These are just ten tracks I've listed in no particular order, each with a category of Axl that I've tried to avoid repeating. Also, I'm not including songs from blog posts I've already written about terrible lyrics but if you'd like to read more on those Axls, have at it.
Time to start this celebration of negativity!


1. "Fast Train" - April Wine

Axl: Tempo change

Fuck me, that's an appealing album cover

Starting off with a fairly obscure song by Rock standards but an Axl just as strong as any other. If you've not heard this song, seek it out on Spotify or Youtube and listen to the first minute or so of it. It's a decent little Classic Rock number with a great acoustic riff and a sweet introduction of drums, bass and electric guitar after the first verse. It sounds like it's going to be a great tune and then it reaches the one minute mark and it all falls to shit.
Have you listened to it yet? It's OK, I'll wait.
Heard it now?
...
WHAT THE BLOODY HELL WERE THEY THINKING?! It's not even a subtle change like some songs manage to pull off, it sounds clumsy and disorganised on every instrument like they only had one shot at recording the track and decided to keep the balls-up in. This is further backed up when the drummer returns to the original tempo during the guitar solo but sadly, it's not enough to erase this particularly striking blemish from an otherwise alright song.


2. "Deth Starr" - Tenacious D

Axl: Pointless reprise

Still my favourite song on the album

I remember being so hyped for this song when the album was announced. I'd found live footage of early versions of it in 2014 and probably contributed to at least half of the total view count watching it over and over and over again. It was an explosive bomb track that packed one hell of an intergalactic wallop and fortunately, the studio version lived up to my expectations...at least until I got to the 3:40 mark and the soft introduction came back again. Why did they include a minute-long reprise when all it does is slow down an energetic Hard Rock track and add absolutely zero humour?
It should've ended after 3:40, making it tight and perfect. Also, on the topic of things they should've done with this song, they missed a trick in the clean version lyrics. Instead of "get your ship together, mother trucker", they should've sung "get your ship together, space trucker" as a reference to the Deep Purple song. Would've been neat but ah well.


3. "Rock 'N' Roll Pest Control" - The Presidents Of The United States Of America

Axl: Guitar solo

You might remember this track from an episode of Futurama

This may be a cover version but since the original by the Young Fresh Fellows doesn't have the same guitar solo, I'm only applying the Axl to this recording. It also only really applies to this cover because everything else in the song is excellent, right down to the specific tones used for the guitar. The only thing that lets it down, and my God is it a letdown, is the truly godawful solo. Now I could've chosen from a vast pool of brilliant songs with bad guitar solos such as "(Don't Fear) The Reaper" - Blue Oyster Cult, "One Vision" - Queen or "Ah! Leah!" - Donnie Iris, but only once you've listened to the steaming pile of shite that is this song's solo will you understand why I chose this above all others.
It is, without a doubt in my mind, the single worst guitar solo I have ever heard or will hear in my entire life. It's so terrible that I've stopped listening to this song in public as I refuse to expose unwilling ears to what sounds like a 1970s computer being fucked to death.


4. "Golden Age Of Leather" - Blue Oyster Cult

Axl: Opening vocal chant

Whadda ya know? I included Blue Oyster Cult anyway!

This isn't one of Blue Oyster Cult's strongest albums but it has a few gems, including this one. However, it's easy to pass this one by if you can't make it past the 23 second vocal chant at the start. It's a right pile of artificial crap with naff lyrics that doesn't even have the right cadence at the end. Fortunately, if you buy this song, you can do what I did and change the start time of the song so it skips the chant, meaning it's not as bad as other Axls that appear in the middle of a track.
Plus, once the first 23 seconds are over, the rest of the song is ace! The second half with the increased tempo is possibly one of BoC's finest moments with a collection of epic Buck Dharma riffs and one of Rock's few suitable uses for a fade out during the outro. Just a shame the opening is enough to make you want to seek better music elsewhere.


5. "Dream On" - Aerosmith

Axl: Vocal pitch change

If I ever do a blog post on embarrassing debut album covers, remind me this one exists

I've never thought of myself as an Aerosmith fan due to their soft underbelly that's always present throughout their career. I know they wrote a song about inappropriate behaviour in a lift and some of their tracks have damn fine riffs (although I reckon that's mostly down to Joe Perry than Aerosmith as a unit) but I still think they're wet blankets in comparison to other Rock bands like The Who, a band that could write softer songs and still come across as a bunch of hard rockin' dudes. Anyway, this song off their debut is a pretty decent power ballad that eventually builds up to Steven Tyler screaming "Dream on!" towards the end. Normally, it'd sound badass. However, in this song, it sounds ridiculous.
I know Steve was insecure about the sound of his voice when they first started out and I can see why. I always picture him sucking helium out of a balloon before he starts screaming those lines. The funny thing is if you compare it to a rerecording by Aerosmith about 30 years or so later, the 2007 version sounds WAY better. It actually has power behind the vocals and makes the original sound utterly limp. Much like the live version of "Do You Feel Like We Do" - Peter Frampton, the rerecord deserves to replace the original as the true version of "Dream On". Until then, consider this another Axl.


6. "Rusty Cage" - Soundgarden

Axl: Slower section

Fuck "Black Hole Sun", THIS is top quality Soundgarden!

I bloody love this track. That echo effect on the vocals, that thick bass, that bizarre riff, that persistent drumbeat, it all comes together to make a Rock song that sounds like no other. The only thing that would make it perfect is if it ended at 2:56 on the dot before it could devolve into a sludgy poor-man's Black Sabbath knock-off. It ruins everything that was perfect about the song and forces you to listen to another minute and a half of shite.
If you're in the same boat as me and think the song would've been better had it completely shaved that slower section off, there's a version of that edit that appears in Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas on a radio station that may or may not be a single version. Unfortunately, you can't buy that version on iTunes (at least you couldn't when I last looked) but you can find that version on Youtube in pretty good quality so enjoy!


7. "Master Of Puppets" - Metallica

Axl: Too much build-up, not enough pay-off

Wonder how many metalheads I'll piss off with this opinion...

Metallica's signature song and, according to many of their die-hard fans, their best. It's a proper powerhouse of a track full of epic riffs and boasting one of Metal's greatest choruses. However, unlike typical Metallica tracks, this song starts off heavy and then introduces the softer part in the middle (the band have actually acknowledged that this was a play on their usual style). The result of this is a looooooot of build-up to get from slow soft melodies to slow heavy riffs and then to faster heavy music to introduce the solo. This wouldn't be so much of a problem if the solo was fast and furious enough but sadly, much like the "Pull Me Under" - Dream Theater solo, it's over before you know it.
To clarify, this isn't the same as me saying the solo is bad. It's actually a pretty decent solo but it needed to come sooner in the track. Alternatively, if the build up had to stay, it needed to maintain that ferocious energy right up until the return to the first section/verse. I'd argue that the music between 6:08 and 6:48 probably could've been cut or, if the softer section could be shitcanned, extended so that the end of the solo bursts straight into "Hell is worth all that". It would've kept the momentum going and brought the track length down to a much better 7:55, seeing as how the best Metallica songs all stay below the eight minute mark.


8. "Lucky Man" - Emerson, Lake & Palmer

Axl: Keyboard solo

This song loses the fucking plot when the synth comes in

I don't know much ELP but I do know this song and I have to say, I really like it up until the 3:21 mark when what I can only describe as gratuitous synth kicks in. It's a lovely, delicate Folk song with a suitable guitar solo earlier on that could've finished after that chorus but nope, instead you get another minute or so of utterly unnecessary keyboard pitch bending. There's a scene in an episode of Community where Chevy Chase is playing a keyboard solo involving pitch bending and rocks back and forth whilst making silly facial expressions which I can only assume was inspired by this song, as they both go together perfectly.
From what I've heard, they tend to cut out the shitty keys during live performances and there is a single edit which may do without it too. However, the full album version with gratuitous synth still exists and will always be a black spot on this otherwise wonderful song.


9. "Rock 'N' Roll Children" - Dio

Axl: "BANG!"

I was tempted to include this in a terrible lyrics post but decided against it, as it's only one word

There's something about Dio's lyrics that seem a bit pompous and almost silly at times. They're usually focused around mythology and if you're into that kind of storytelling in music, his songs are cracking. For me, they just take themselves a little too seriously which, when paired with synth, doesn't work regardless of how heavy the riffs or aggressive the shredding. However, this song's silly for a different reason. This is where Dio's music crosses into Spinal Tap territory as he sings "just like somebody slammed the door" shortly before he yells "BANG!". I'm sure it was intended to be awesome but it totally misses that mark and manages to sound even more ridiculous than if they actually used a door slamming sound effect.
The rest of the song is a serviceable Metal tune and luckily Dio doesn't pull anymore silly exclamations like that again, even when he sings about door slamming. However, the first and only time is enough to stop me from listening to this song without laughing or at least smiling. It's meant to sound so grand and magnificent and all I can picture is tiny little Dio in a sound booth shouting "BANG!" like a kid with a toy gun...and now you will too!


10. "My Songs Know What You Did In The Dark (Light Em Up)" - Fall Out Boy

Axl: Lack of a guitar solo

In an alternate reality where everything is 100% more awesome, this is what Coldplay sounds like

Whilst I intensely dislike Fall Out Boy and the scene they represent, they do have their moments. This is by far their strongest one to date and if it wasn't by them, I probably would've bought it on iTunes a long time ago. It's surprisingly heavy for them, loaded with catchy vocal and guitar hooks and, perhaps best of all, lacks a middle section where they can slow everything down and get all sensitive like most American bands tend to do. However, there is one thing it's missing; a sweet guitar solo.
If Fall Out Boy had a little bit more talent and set their sights higher than teenage dipshits with daddy issues, they could've found a place for a powerful guitar solo. Maybe it would've happened at 2:12 before picking up with the rest of the song or maybe it would've been an outro solo playing underneath the chanting if the song lasted longer than 3:07; what I do know is it's too short as it is and they needed to take the power they harnessed and fucking run with it.


Do you agree with my list of Axls? Am I being too unfair on some of these tracks ("how can the lack of anything be an Axl?") or have I forgotten far worse Axls that need to be recognised? Let me know in the comments or via Twitter.
Also, some of you might be interested to know that as a result of this post, I'll be writing a similar one at some point looking at the complete inverse; ten absolutely terrible songs each with one amazing factor that manages to salvage it.
All I need to do first is think of a name for that term and yes, suggestions are welcome...