Showing posts with label Hair Metal. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Hair Metal. Show all posts

Thursday, 30 August 2018

Tenology: Even More Terrible Rock/Metal Lyrics

Another Tenology post about lyrics? Darn straight, although this one isn't about Mondegreens; it's about poorly thought through lyrics in the world of Rock and Metal. This is the third one of these posts I've done so some of the songs might be deep cuts and some of the lyrics might not be as bad as "terrible". However, if the lyrics are poor, the lyrics are poor and this is where we get to laugh at them!

1. "I'll Be There For You" - The Rembrandts

"When it hasn't been your day, your week,
your month or even your year"


One of the most 90s-est album covers ever...*clap-clap-clap-clap-clap*

Kicking this list off is the popular theme to the TV show Friends, notable for the introductory guitar riff, rapid claps in the verse and catchy chorus. However, there's one line that's always bothered me when I think about it. For those who don't know the song (...what, they might exist!), the first verse talks about how crappy life can be for you. It then talks about when life is stuck in second gear and how you haven't had a good day, week, month or "even" year...and that's where I take issue. I get that the rhyme works well but if you think about it, shouldn't "even" go before day? Years are longer than months, weeks and days so it'll be a lot harder for it to be "your" year than "your" month, week or day. Since days are the shortest, it's therefore logically the easiest for it to be good for you so "even" should come before day. I admit that I'm splitting hairs with this line so let's look at a song with lyrics that we can all agree are terrible.


2. "Debora" - Tyrannosaurus Rex

"Oh Debora, always look like a zebra"

Oh Marc Bolan, you never did get the hang of the lyrics part of songwriting

Most of you may know this song from the film Baby Driver and how Edgar Wright named a character Deborah just so he could include a scene where the characters laugh about this lyric...and with good reason! The rhyme of "Debora" and "Zebra" is so godawful that it makes you wonder why anyone would even bother forcing it to begin with. Choose a different rhyme scheme or something; imagine how bad "Eleanor Rigby" would've been if The Beatles tried to find rhymes for that name. Not only that but has any woman in the history of humanity ever been complimented by the comparison of her to a striped horse-like creature, or indeed non-striped for that matter? Just a terrible, terrible lyric.


3. "She's A Genius" - Jet

"She only listens to the radio,
To see who's alive"

I wonder if the girl this song's about is called Sharona...

Whilst I'm aware that these lyrics aren't meant to be taken literally, I believe there's an argument to be made for their inclusion in this post regardless of how you interpret them. First, there's the literal meaning; girl literally uses the radio to determine who's still alive, which simply doesn't work. Then there's the figurative meaning; girl listens to the radio to know who's popular, which means she's got a shit taste in music because she only cares about what everyone else likes. I dunno about you about if I'm going to try to convince listeners that a girl is a genius through song, I wouldn't want to establish her terrible taste in music before I've even reached the first chorus!


4. "Falling In Love (Is Hard On The Knees)" - Aerosmith

"'Cause falling in love is so hard on the knees"

No, this isn't a Rolling Stones lyric...although the song does contain a different Rolling Stones lyric

This is the second time a song from Nine Lives has appeared in a blog post detailing terrible lyrics but this time, we're not mocking poor rhyme schemes and nonsensical sentences. This time, we're looking at Aerosmith's ability to create the most ridiculous, cringeworthy, eighth-grade lyrics about romance that one of the supposedly "wildest" Rock bands in the world just keeps on pumping out. This is the kind of lyric that sounds like part of a joke on The Simpsons about an ageing Rock band on their 50th anniversary world tour; they may as well have called the song "Make Love Or Make My Supper" or "Sleep With Me Before I Fall Asleep In My Armchair During A Countdown Repeat".


5. "Sweet Little Sister" - Skid Row

"She blew my mind behind the record machine...
...She's my sweet little, sweet little sister"


It's either "record" or "wrecking" machine; my argument still remains

OK, this one requires some context. First up, I absolutely love this song. It's my favourite Skid Row song (yes, even over "18 And Life" and "Youth Gone Wild") and for the most part, the vocal delivery and lyrics are pretty damn great. However, whenever I listen to it, there's always something in the back of my mind that doesn't sit right after hearing the above two lines at the start and chorus of the song. When you factor in Skid Row's general image and musical style,"She blew my mind behind the record/wrecking machine" can only be taken as a sexual metaphor but "She's my sweet little, sweet little sister" implies that "she" is related to him. Even if it's not the intended denotation, the connotation that the singer is getting oral pleasure from his sister still exists all because he sung "she's my" instead of "she's A" or "she's YOUR sweet little sister". I still love the song, though.


6. "Lonely Is The Night" - Billy Squier

"Lonely is the night when you find yourself alone"

I'm ashamed to say that it took way too long for me to notice this lyric

Billy Squier coming in with the piping hot observations. "Lonely is the night when you find yourself alone"? No fuckin' shit, Billy! What other pearls of wisdom have you got for us, "Teapots are useful only when they contain tea"? "A sport is not a sport if it's not a sport"? Once again, it's unfortunate that this terrible lyric not only belongs to Squier's signature song but is also the very first line he sings. Take note: if you're going to write a song with the intention of making it a radio hit, don't drop the ball in the opening line.


7. "Diggin' Me Down" - Ozzy Osbourne

"How will I know you, Mr. Jesus Christ"

I want to see a fight between Mr. Jesus Christ and Mr. Crowley

This lyric probably doesn't deserve to be called "terrible" but let's face it, it's still a bit naff. Saying "Mr. Jesus Christ" is the kind of thing a child or stereotypical Latin American maid would do, certainly not the Prince Of Darkness. There's always been an element of silliness in Ozzy Osbourne lyrics but this is one of the few examples that made me laugh out loud when I heard it. However, since it's (probably) Ozzy's last studio album and it contains a collection of awesome Metal music, I can forgive him for saying "Mr. Jesus Christ". Besides, at least Ozzy seems aware of his silliness, unlike his Heavy Metal counterpart, Ronnie James Dio. Speaking of Dio...


8. "Stargazer" - Rainbow

"There's no sun in the shadow of the wizard"

I'm beginning to think maybe RJD wasn't the lyrical wordsmith the entire Metal community says he was

Look out Billy Squier, looks like there's a contender for the Most Obvious Lyrics In Rock award that I've just created. I remember reading a quote about Dio that said something along the lines of "He never overestimated himself, nor underestimated himself". I agree with the second part. Ronnie's lyrics, whether they're from his time in Rainbow, Black Sabbath or Dio, contained fantastic mythological imagery but sometimes, he took himself a bit too seriously. Take this lyric: the declaration that shadows contain no sunlight is dumb but by adding something about wizards in there, Dio tried to pass it off as something majestic and awesome. Once you take a step back and listen to the lyrics without realising that it's Dio singing them, a lot of his material just sounds ridiculous. Of course, a lot of it sounds awesome too but that's not what this post is about.


9. "Uh! All Night" - KISS

"Well, we work all day and we don't know why"

KISS: Undisputed champions of writing songs about shagging

This album came out in the mid-80s, well into KISS' career as Shock Rock superstars. By this point, they will have made shitloads of cash on tours, music and (most importantly) merchandise. In other words, they were comfortably wealthy. As a result, lines like "we work all day and we don't know why" come across as a little...well, Let-Them-Eat-Cakey. KISS strike me as a band that would question why people would work all day if they don't like it, completely unaware that the average blue-collar fan of Rock needs to work to survive. If they want to write songs about getting laid, that's one thing, but trying to connect with the average Joe working 9-5 to make ends meet is a bad idea for a band like KISS. Bands like Bachman-Turner Overdrive and Lynyrd Skynyrd can write those songs, KISS can't.


10. "Sex On Fire" - Kings Of Leon

"You, your sex is on fire"

Remember when Kings Of Leon used to be a Rock band? Then they wrote this fucking song

No, I don't like this song. In fact, I'd even say that I hate it. It's bland and safe, exactly the opposite of what good Rock should be. However, we're not here for the tepid guitarwork or dull percussion in the verse; we're here for the lyrics in the chorus, namely the line that contains the title of the song. I'm guessing he's saying that they're having a cracking shag as opposed to the literal interpretation of spontaneous genitalia combustion but the term "your sex is on fire" sounds like something from a Steel Panther or Red Hot Chili Peppers track, definitely not the kind of lyric that belongs in a song like this. It's over the top and almost a parody of the kind of shit Hair Metal bands would write, yet Kings Of Leon seem to be delivering it non-ironically? I don't know and I don't care enough about the band to actually research whether this was meant to be a piss-take in the same way "(You've Got To) Fight For Your Right (To Party)" - Beastie Boys was. All I know is I don't much care for the lyric...or song...or band...Youth And Young Manhood was a good album though.


One day, I need to write a blog post about GOOD lyrics in Rock/Metal, as I've definitely been thinking of a couple recently. Maybe in October, as I don't want to do too many lyric-based Tenology posts in a short space of time.

Wednesday, 6 September 2017

The ABCs of Producers

I've been meaning to write a blog post on music producers for a while but it wasn't until I reviewed Villains - Queens Of The Stone Age and thought about Mark Ronson's involvement in the album that I decided to actually crack on with it. However, I faced a significant issue; I didn't know much about music producers.
I'd heard a few names on the grapevine and occasionally noted the name of a producer when listening to new albums but I didn't really have more knowledge than that on the subject. So, after many hours researching and listening to music from certain producers, I felt like I was ready to take on the task of writing about them from a somewhat informed perspective. Only problem then was what exactly to write about. Should I write a thinkpiece on the influence of music producers that someone with more knowledge and talent has already covered? How about a funny post comparing them to flavours of ice cream or animals or something?
As you can tell, I scrapped both ideas in favour of a list designed to educate other Rock/Metal fans like me who weren't fully up to date with their producer knowledge. I also decided to compile it in an A-Z arrangement, although I've had to take a few creative liberties to get away with a few tricky letters. As well as listing a few of the producers' greatest hits, I'll also be sharing my opinions on their work and why I feel they're worthy of this list (apologies in advance if I miss any amazing producers).

So without further ado, here are the ABCs of Rock/Metal producers with a bit of Pop and other genres thrown in too.


A is for Steve Albini
Kicking this list off is the recording engineer most known for his work on Surfer Rosa - Pixies and In Utero - Nirvana. Despite having an impressive back catalogue (and a cooking blog), Steve's also notable for being an outspoken man with strong opinions about analogue over digital; he also believes that record producers shouldn't accept royalties for their work on songs and has completely waved all licensing fees producers would normally receive for any track he's worked on (including "Where Is My Mind???" - Pixies and "Heart Shaped Box" - Nirvana).
Music produced by Steve is usually quite straight forward without the need for special effects as he's a firm believer in the "live" sound rather than having band members record their instruments individually. Steve has described his preferred methods for analysing and mixing music involving minor distractions such as reading dull books or playing Scrabble on his phone; activities that don't absorb too much of his concentration but allow him to notice mistakes and imperfections should they appear. All in all, he's a pretty good start to this list; he knows his shit and he's not afraid to speak his clearly well developed mind.

B is for Bob Rock
Bob Rock is arguably one of the biggest names on this list and, in my personal opinion, one of the most overrated. His best known work includes Sonic Temple - The Cult, Dr. Feelgood - Motley Crue, Keep The Faith - Bon Jovi and Metallica - Metallica. However, he's also responsible for subsequent albums by these bands such as Hidden City - The Cult, Motley Crue - Motley Crue and St. Anger - Metallica, not to mention more recent albums by The Offspring and Michael Buble that are on the more commercial side. In other words, he's great at joining a band's career and getting a couple of great albums out of them when they're already successful but his involvement usually signals a decline in the band's quality of music.
Music produced by Bob is usually quite powerful and perfect for stadium gigs. The man knows how to make Rock (which he bloody well should do if it's in his name) but he's quite limited in his creativity. If you want an explosive but unimaginative Rock record that'll probably make a shitload of money to add to your pre-existing shitload of money, Bob's the way to go but if you want something a bit deeper, you're better off finding someone else.

C is for Mike Clink
He may not have a name that's as instantly recognisable as some of the producers on this list but Mike Clink has produced for bands more iconic than anyone on this list. He's worked with Guns N' Roses for five of their albums, he co-produced Megadeth's magnum opus Rust In Peace with Dave Mustaine and nearly produced Metallica's ...And Justice For All until the band decided to use their previous producer, Flemming Rasmussen. He's also worked with Motley Crue, Whitesnake, Heart, UFO and Triumph.
Clink's decision to record using classic equipment typical of albums from the 60s and 70s is what helped make Appetite For Destruction such a massive release, not to mention his technical skills and patience of a saint when rerecording and delicately splicing takes together. He worked closely with Slash when recording guitar riffs as catchy as Axl's vocal melodies and after working long days and longer nights to produce a hit record, the results speak for themselves.

D is for Danger Mouse
Notable Pop producer and the better half of Gnarls Barkley if Cee Lo Green's career is anything to go by, Danger Mouse (real name Brian Joseph Burton) has waded into the waters of Rock recently to produce some damn fine records such as El Camino - Black Keys and The Getaway - Red Hot Chili Peppers. His work seems to focus more on the drums and bass of a record making a more Pop friendly sound that's easier to dance to.
Going off the Rock track for a bit, I love his work on Gnarls Barkley albums and would listen to a third album of theirs in a heartbeat. Until then, I'm happy with him continuing to work with modern Alternative bands to create chart topping singles and great bass heavy Rock tracks with minimal guitar.

E is for Brian Eno
Brian Eno isn't just a musician who's played with Roxy Music, Talking Heads and David Bowie (as well as having his own solo career); he's also a music producer who's worked with U2, Elvis Costello, Coldplay and some of the bands he's recorded with. He's also composed music for Windows '95 and Nokia phones and expressed firm political beliefs without going full Mustaine, but he's on this list for his role as a producer/non-musician/sonic landscaper/other wanky term.
His work seems to emphasise various guitar effects and synthesisers, not to mention blending world music with contemporary Rock/Pop and popularising the use of sampling that would later be used to carry Hip Hop artists across the majority of their career. Whilst his importance in the world of music is undeniable, he seems to have a reputation for associating with artists who are (musically speaking) a bit pretentious and he's not the best producer if you want music with an edge to it. However, as far as Art Rock goes, you're not going to find much more influential than Brian Eno.

F is for Bruce Fairbairn
I nearly wrote this entry about Swedish producer of melodic Death Metal, Fredrik Nordstrom (a great producer and musician, if you were wondering), but then I found out about Bruce Fairbairn, producer of such albums as Get Lucky - Loverboy, Permanent Vacation - Aerosmith, The Razor's Edge - AC/DC, Flesh & Blood - Poison and Slippery When Wet - Bon Jovi. Bruce was the polar opposite of producers who prefer a stripped-back approach, instead opting to go all-in with production in order to create some of the greatest and most explosive Arena Rock and Rock Radio anthems of the 80s.
Despite this keen ear for popular Hard Rock and Hair Metal, Bruce was an avid Jazz fan and played trumpet with the band Sunshyne before they reinvented themselves as 70s Rock group Prism and he reinvented himself as a record producer. His love of brass and horns helped turn Aerosmith's "Dude (Looks Like A Lady)" from a mediocre filler track entitled "Cruisin' For The Ladies" into the comeback hit they needed at that point in their career, all thanks to Bruce's ability to separate the wheat from the chaff. Unfortunately, Bruce passed away in 1999 but his legacy as a hit record producer will live on.

G is for George Martin
No, not the Game Of Thrones guy. This is George Martin responsible for producing all but one of The Beatles' albums. Many people have been given the title "the fifth Beatle" and whilst George has rejected it in favour of their manager Brian Epstein, he easily earned it with his vast musical knowledge and ability to refine the band's sound into something more than your average 60s Garage Rock outfit. As well as working with The Beatles, Geroge also produced for Elton John, Cheap Trick, America and Celine Deon as well as being credited with helping to create the music for the early James Bond films.
Before working with The Beatles, George made a name for himself as a producer for various comedy acts including Bill Oddie, Bernard Cribbins and Peter Sellers but even if his CV consisted of just The Beatles, he'd deserve a space here for his ability to pinpoint exactly what each Beatles single needed (even if John Lennon thought George was overrated in his role as a producer). Oh, and he also contributed piano and organ on a few tracks like "Lovely Rita" and "Being For The Benefit Of Mr. Kite!" respectively.

H is for Isaac Hayes
I could tell you that Isaac Hayes is in this list for his involvement as a Soul producer and that his musical talents expand beyond singing songs about prostitutes and making love on South Park. I could tell you that he was involved as a producer for Booker T. & The M.G's (the band that gave us "Green Onions"...you'll know it when you hear it) and that's why here's here but honestly, he's here because his surname begins with H and it was pretty difficult finding a producer with an H at the start of their name. That being said, this guy knew his music and if anyone with more knowledge about the man's production talents wants to educate me, feel free to do so in the comment section.

I is for Ian Kilmister
Similarly, I had a bit of difficulty finding a producer with I at the start of their forename or surname so this slot is filled with Lemmy, seeing as how Motorhead were occasionally responsible for producing some of their albums (although Jimmy Miller and Speedy Keen were usually the main producers). I don't know exactly how much of the production stage Lemmy was involved with but since he was the key musician involved with the band, I imagine he had a few good ideas thrown about now and then.

J is for Jeff Lynne
Not only is Jeff Lynne the frontman and musical genius behind the Electric Light Orchestra but he's also responsible for producing albums by members of his supergroup The Traveling Wilburys as well as ELO ones too. Considering the man can play every instrument under the sun (and probably a few beyond it, if he had access to them...which he might), it's no surprise that he's adept at producing music too seeing as how he must know exactly how to get the best sound out of each instrument through his years of playing them.
Jeff's received some flack over the years for the quality of the drums in songs he produces but to me, they're not meant to sound dynamic and imposing. Drums seem to be there for the sole purpose of keeping time whilst the bass, strings and vocals are all placed to the front of the mix. However, you can probably attribute that to Jeff's style of songwriting too. As for my opinion on their sound, I think Jeff's music probably speaks louder than his production skills but it's still admirable that he can do both as well as other professionals.

K is for Johnny K
Not a well known name on this list but that doesn't mean he's here just because of the letter K. John Karkazis is an engineer and music producer who's worked with bands like Finger Eleven, Drowning Pool and Machine Head as well as on such albums as "The Sickness" - Disturbed and "Th1rt3en" - Megadeth. However, the main reason he's on this list is because he produced one of my favourite albums; Light From Above - Black Tide. Whilst the band may be the ones who wrote the majority of the tracks, Johnny K helped write one of the tracks ("Enterprise") and likely helped the band with many technical issues too.
Similar to previous Metal producers here, he tends to bring out a cleaner, sharper sound in guitar tones (although that could be attributed to modern recording technology). However, as well as producing Metal records, he's also tried his hand at Alternative and Pop too. As a result, some of his Metal albums sound a bit more commercial such as "Super Collider" - Megadeth. Either way, he knows his onions.

L is for Mutt Lange
Robert John "Mutt" Lange is another well known name on this list. He's produced many albums in his career but some of his bigger hits include "Back In Black" - AC/DC, "Hysteria" - Def Leppard, "4" - Foreigner and recently "Drones" - Muse. He's also produced single tracks for artists such as Heart, Lady Gaga, Huey Lewis & The News, Loverboy and Backstreet Boys, clearly showing a preference for Rock but able to work with more Pop based material too. There's no doubt that Mutt Lange knows how to turn average groups into proper Rock bands with well received albums that are both awesome in their own right and capable of shitting money.
Mutt's style seems to be about high production values and a well polished sound to make a product that's commercially successful, although there have been stories about him being somewhat of a control freak, butting heads with members of Foreigner and Def Leppard over how the album should sound. However, other theories seem to be that Def Leppard arguably owe all their success to the man as he was responsible for High 'N' Dry, Pyromania and Hysteria, their golden trilogy (even if On Through The Night is an underrated classic and Mutt had nothing to do with that). After Mutt left, their popularity started to decline and people believed Mutt was the magic ingredient in making the band great. Regardless of how things went down, we can all agree that Mutt's place on this list goes beyond a simple alphabetic necessity.

M is for Martin Birch
From critically acclaimed producer to a lesser known heavyweight, Martin "Star-Fish" Birch has a great collection of bands under his belt. He started off as an engineer with Fleetwood Mac and Deep Purple, mixing and occasionally producing some of their albums such as "Penguin" and "Stormbringer" respectively. He settled into the role of producer with confidence during his stretch with Rainbow, producing all three albums with Dio on vocals before working with Whitesnake for six years whilst simultaneously producing albums for Black Sabbath and Blue Oyster Cult in 1980 and 1981. However, his main achievement comes in the form of producing eight studio records and one live album for Iron Maiden between 1981 and 1992.
His sound is arguably categorised more by the difference between albums with and without his involvement. Compare the sound of Iron Maiden's debut to Killers or Blue Oyster Cult's Spectres to Fire Of Unknown Origin. Each instrument is a lot clearer in the mix and even though some bands have presented their fair share of challenges in their "creative" decisions (e.g. Iron Maiden choosing to record No Prayer For The Dying in a barn), Martin's ability to get the best out of each band he worked with earns him a place at the halfway point in this list.
Unfortunately, Martin retired after Fear Of The Dark at the age of 42 and whilst it would be good to hear his influence with more modern Hard Rock/Metal bands, I feel like Martin left at the top of his game and his discography will forever be one for the Rock producer hall of fame. All we need now is a Rock producer hall of fame.

N is for Gil Norton
Gil Norton is best known for his work with Indie/Alternative bands, ranging from more experimental groups with 80s influences such as Maximo Park and Echo & The Bunnymen to more popular American Rock bands such as Jimmy Eat World and Counting Crows. However, just because these are some of the bigger names he's worked with doesn't mean he hasn't produced albums for a wide variety of artists, although his biggest achievement is probably working on The Colour And The Shape and Echoes, Silence, Patience & Grace by Foo Fighters (two of their most popular albums).
Gil's style of producing is very personal; he likes to meet or chat with the band beforehand, listening to demos and getting a good idea of where the band wants to take their music. To him, the pre-production stage is the most important part of the job and the musician's passion over technical skill should come through in the material. He's also a firm believer in the importance of personality and that getting on with the people you work with is one of the key factors in making a great album.

O is for Brendan O'Brien
Whilst Gil Norton may have been a key player with Alternative bands in the 80s & 00s, Brendan O'Brien took responsibility for working with heavier Rock bands from the early 90s to recent releases. Some of his work includes Core - Stone Temple Pilots, Vs. - Pearl Jam, The Battle Of Los Angeles - Rage Against The Machine, Black Ice - AC/DC and Victorious - Wolfmother, not to mention mixing and engineering on hit albums such as Blood Sugar Sex Magik - Red Hot Chili Peppers with Rick Rubin (more on him later).
As you can tell by this collection, Brendan's preferred style involves loud guitars, darker tones and dynamic percussion. Some of the lighter albums he's worked on such as Light Grenades - Incubus have benefited from the occasional burst of energy despite lacking screaming guitars and your typical Rock tropes. Compared to other producers in this list, Brendan's style is very hands-on; he isn't afraid to get involved in laying down guitar and bass tracks, pooling ideas together and effectively acting as a member of the band, even if he isn't necessarily part of the songwriting process.

P is for Phil Spector
Even though George Martin is considered the iconic Beatles producer, Phil Spector is the man who's responsible for producing subsequent Beatles compilations and studio album, Let It Be. He produced many other albums before his work with the fab four but his success with their final album is half of what earned him a place on this list. The other half comes from his development of the Wall Of Sound production technique, not the way he murdered his wife in 2003.
The Wall Of Sound isn't the same as the bombardment of hard-hitting music effects such as distortion and high volume, rather it's a dense series of layers comprised of a variety of different instruments that would all combine into one unique noise rather than a series of instruments that you could pick out and enjoy, similar to how mixing a series of varying hues would create a different colour. For example, by mixing different key-based instruments (piano, harpsichord, etc), you can create one solid sound that cannot be achieved by any one of those instruments alone. This has been developed over time to simply compressing certain instruments in the mix (something that modern music fans tend to despise) but the technique still has its place in music history, all thanks to Phil.

Q is for Quincy Jones
One of the biggest producers in the history of music, Quincy Jones (also known as Q) has arguably earned the most fame in the world of Pop/Rock for his work on Michael Jackson's Thriller album. However, many people may also know him as the composer of catchy instrumental "Soul Bossa Nova" (the Austin Powers theme) and the founder of Quincy Jones Productions/Entertainment, the company partly responsible for The Fresh Prince Of Bel-Air and, subsequently, Will Smith's music career.
However, he's here as a music producer and his strength lies mainly with getting the best out of the vocalists he works with. He encourages them to sing with their full soul and has been quoted as saying "You can never be a better musician than you are a person", proving that he's never met Ted Nugent or Gene Simmons before. All in all, Quincy seems like one of the nicest guys in the business and even though he's no Rock/Metal producer, his name carries more weight than any of the other producers on this list...although this next entry gives Q a run for his money.

R is for Rick Rubin
Rick Motherfucking Rubin; Rock's most famous (or infamous) producer who's also pretty skilled at Metal, Pop and Hip-Hop too. Rick helped to launch Hip Hop into the list of mainstream genres due to his work with Run-DMC and the Beastie Boys but since then has gone on to work with a myriad of bands who have produced some of their best or at least better received albums with Rick behind them such as The Cult (Electric), Red Hot Chili Peppers (Blood Sugar Sex Magik), Slayer (Reign In Blood), System Of A Down (Toxicity), Audioslave (Audioslave), Adele (21), Metallica (Death Magnetic) and Mr. Hankey Poo (Mr. Hankey The Christmas Poo).
He's also responsible for introducing Johnny Cash to "Hurt" - Nine Inch Nails and founded Def Jam Records as a teenager, even going as far as to hold a genuine funeral with a casket and approximately 500 guests for the word "def" after it was dropped from his record label. However, despite being a heavy player, not everyone is happy with his style. He's been criticised for his involvement in the Loudness War (making albums progressively louder over a period of time by compressing and clipping the music) and has been called out by several musicians including Corey Taylor of Slipknot and Matt Bellamy of Muse, the latter stating "We'd like to thank Rick Rubin for teaching us how not to produce" on stage at the 2010 MPG awards to cheers from the audience.
Despite this, many musicians value Rick's work and regard him as one of the best in the business due to his ability to identify talent in its natural form. His Rock/Metal albums usually contain very little in the way of frills and high production values, favouring a more raw sound as opposed to technical effects. He's also been known to push bands to play music outside of their conventions, challenging Hip Hop artists to cover Rock and Rock bands to cover Pop. Rick Rubin has to be the most divisive producer on this list but regardless of your opinion on the man and his craft, you have to admit that he isn't where he is by accident.

S is for Tom Scholz
If you're into Classic Rock, this name will probably be familiar to you. Tom Scholz is better known as the guitarist for the band Boston and is one of the main reasons (if not THE main reason) their 1976 self-titled debut is one of the greatest albums ever recorded. Unlike previous debuts where bands tend to stick to one studio to write and record their material, Boston recorded their debut across a variety of studios although most of the tracks were produced in Tom's basement due to his preference to his own equipment. The band pretended to record the material at a professional studio but in the end, only produced one song ("Let Me Take You Home Tonight") the way the record label wanted them to as a way of throwing them off the scent.
Even though John Boylan is regarded as the producer for the album, Scholz is the reason the album sounds the way it does due to his painstaking perfectionism. Tom went to great lengths to ensure he produced an album he was proud of and in the end, the sound quality sounds way ahead of its time due to his technical knowledge and experience. In fact, when he eventually met the professional sound engineers, he felt they were amateurs in comparison. This might sound like arrogance but when you produce an album as strong as Boston's debut on the sly, you're allowed a bit of an ego. Incidentally, the story behind the recording of Boston's debut is a fascinating read if you like the album and a good underdog story.

T is for Terry Date
Terry Date may have a name that sounds like a term for a rough night out but his work as a producer for such Metal albums as Metal Church - Metal Church, Badmotorfinger - Soundgarden, Astro-Creep: 2000 - Songs Of Love, Destruction And Other Synthetic Delusions Of The Electric Head - White Zombie and Cowboys From Hell - Pantera have earned him a place on this list. Despite being adept at producing hard and heavy material, usually leaning towards the darker sound of Metal, Terry's not afraid to have fun with the bands he works with.
As is often the case with Rock/Metal producers, Terry's told more than a few tales and amusing experiences of working with bands like Pantera (e.g. the story of the vocal feedback at the end of "Fucking Hostile") but always seems to remain positive about his work, even if it means dealing with certain notable characters. Terry might not top the list here if it were arranged into "best" or "most significant" producers but he's definitely not at the bottom.

U is for Todd Rundgren
Come on, I was doing well with finding producers to fit the alphabetical pattern until now. I was going to write about U2 and their involvement with some of their own albums but rather than force out a paragraph with little substance, I'm bending the rules to feature an important artist/producer with a hard U in their name. As well as producing his own solo material, Todd Rundgren has worked with Grand Funk Railroad, Hall & Oates, New York Dolls, Patti Smith and Meat Loaf, even playing lead guitar on Bat Out Of Hell and apparently being responsible for most of the arrangements on it too.
But that's not all; Todd's proven himself to be quite the whizz with video and recording technology. Whenever there's a new movement with the potential to pick up speed, Todd's usually one of the first to adopt it. He was there when MTV started, he was there when Video Toaster launched and he attempted to start an online company built around offering fans exclusive unreleased music for a subscription fee without the need for record labels to take a wedge of the profit back in the 90s, 20 years before the popularity of websites like Patreon took off. Todd's ability to spot a golden idea is matched by his experimental producing style and talents as a musician, earning him a place over U2.
However, if there is a producer with a U at the start of their surname or first name who's worthy of this list, feel free to let me know.

V is for Butch Vig
So far, we've seen some of Rock's most iconic albums and their producers in this list but there's one album we've yet to look at; Nevermind - Nirvana. For that, you can thank Butch Vig. Butch started off producing for bands such as Killdozer and The Other Kids in the 80s before taking on his first big job in 1990 producing Nirvana's second album, although some of you may feel he should've stuck to producing lesser bands. Nevermind showed a more commercial side to the Grunge outfit partly due to Vig's decision to use double-tracking and overdubs, something Kurt Cobain objected to at the time but grew to appreciate. The success of the album led to Vig taking on bigger jobs and better albums such as Siamese Dream - Smashing Pumpkins, Dirty - Sonic Youth, 21st Century Breakdown - Green Day and Sonic Highways - Foo Fighters.
As well as producing, Vig also formed and drummed for the band Garbage, expressing a desire to record music that incorporated other styles and genres as opposed to the homogenised sound of mainstream Rock at the time. Vig clearly has a talent for knowing how to utilise a band's existing talents whilst introducing new ideas that may seem unconventional at the time but ultimately work in their favour. He's also not afraid to take the longer, more difficult route to achieve a single goal, as proven by his work on Wasting Light - Foo Fighters using analogue equipment in Dave Grohl's garage.

W is for Butch Walker
From one Butch to another, Butch Walker has produced more Pop or Pop Rock albums than most entries on this list. Some of the bands/artists he's worked with include Weezer, Avril Lavigne, Katy Perry, Fall Out Boy, Taylor Swift and Pink so needless to say he's not one of my personal favourites although he's still pretty highly regarded in the world of music. The albums he's worked on have been well received and he's shown talents as a guest musician and songwriter too.
As a modern producer, Butch has the benefit of decades worth of material from previous producers to work with as influences and inspirations. However, his abilities as a producer come from his talents as a musician. Whilst he might not be in the same league as Jeff Lynne, Butch has a modest but impressive list of instruments he can play covering most bases on the albums he produces.

X is for Max Martin
I'm not entirely sure how this guy took the name Max Martin as his real name is Karl Martin Sandberg but regardless of whatever name he goes by, he's arguably one of the most successful producers and songwriters on this list. He's produced the second highest amount of number one hits (after George Martin) and some of his produced tracks include "Everybody (Backstreet's Back)" - Backstreet Boys, "...Baby One More Time" - Britney Spears, "It's My Life" - Bon Jovi, "So What" - Pink, "California Girls" - Katy Perry and "Shake It Off" - Taylor Swift.
Since Max is predominantly a Pop producer, most of the albums he works on have co-producers whom he has to work with. Fortunately, most of them cite Max is being the main man in control and called his work highly influential. He believes the most important factor in a hit Pop song is that you need to "feel" the music as well as just hear it; that the song makes you want to listen to it repeatedly and the vocals are the key to unlocking this. Max also thinks a fluid chorus with energy that changes throughout the song is important, even if the melody is exactly the same. Even if you don't care for modern Pop, Max clearly knows how to produce a tune that sells like hot cakes.

Y is for Neil Young
Whilst David Briggs is generally considered to be the main producer on the majority of Neil Young's albums, Neil himself took on the task of producing his music too. However, Neil's here for one main reason; his passionate hatred of digital media. Neil's gone on record as blasting .mp3s and services like Spotify for offering poor sound quality compared to the original studio sessions, even going as far as removing all of his music from Spotify until they improved their sound quality until he realised that was stupid and put it all back again. He even started up a company called Pono dedicated to delivering better quality digital music on a subscription system.
Unfortunately, his argument for Pono's superiority compared to iTunes media was that there was a clear difference between Pono's files and low quality files, although iTunes doesn't release low quality ones. The difference in sound between Pono files and iTunes ones is too microscopic to warrant the less efficient Pono device and excessive price compared to most digital distribution sites. So basically, Neil's got a solid argument but has yet to actually do anything useful about it. However, it's worth noting his good intentions should be mirrored by producers regardless of the genre they're working on; it's artists/producers like Neil Young who keep complacent producers in check who don't give a fuck about the sound quality as long as they think the song itself will make money.

Z is for Jon Zazula
Finally, here we are. The end of the list and the final producer...or is it? I may have one more producer to write about but first, let's look at Mr Zazula. Johnny Z is probably better known for starting Megaforce records, the label that gave us Testament, Anthrax and Metallica as well as other popular Thrash Metal bands. However, despite managing and producing great albums by these incredible bands, there is one common trait that links albums like The Legacy - Testament, The Years Of Decay - Overkill and Spreading The Disease - Anthrax; they sound like shit. Absolute shit. Compare the sound quality of these records to other Metal albums released throughout the 80s and it's a shocking difference. It's debatable how much of this is down to Jon Zazula's input but even if he was one of the best engineers involved, I still believe there's a much better producer who deserves a spot over Johnny Z...


Z should be for Bob Ezrin
Bob's worked on albums such as Welcome To My Nightmare - Alice Cooper, Berlin - Lou Reed, Destroyer - KISS and The Wall - Pink Floyd, as well as other successful albums by these bands and others (except Lou Reed). Alice Cooper has called Bob Ezrin the George Martin of their band and if it wasn't for his work with KISS, they probably wouldn't be the household names in Rock we're all indifferent to now. His style seems to involve giving albums a grand or heavy sound, whether it's by using children's voices to give music a more theatrical feel or encouraging musicians to rework tracks by combining separate great but unfinished ideas (e.g. an Alice Cooper song called "Reflected" that would go on to become "Elected").
Recently, he's earned some popularity/flack for daring to criticise the Lord of Hip Hop, the immortal voice of a generation, Kanye West. He accused Kanye of being uninspired and that his music doesn't do anything new compared to other Hip Hop artists like NWA or Grandmaster Flash; Bob also claimed Kanye's fame and popularity comes from his ego and outlandish behaviour rather than genuine skill at his craft. Kanye, of course, resorted to a Twitter rant where he claimed Bob (and presumably every other middle-aged white record producer) shouldn't talk about "rap" and brought Bob's kids into the argument.
I have no idea if Kanye has since attempted to fire back at Bob with a song of some kind (you know, the things he's supposed to be famous for making) but if his reaction proved anything, it's that Bob Ezrin not only knows about what makes a great Rock record but also a shitty Hip Hop one.


Do you agree with my list? Have I included a fair variety of producers to cover each style, genre and skill? Let me know via Twitter or the comment section.
COMING SOON: Album reviews for Foo Fighters, UFO and The Darkness.

Friday, 11 August 2017

Showdown: Shared Song Titles

Am I scraping the bottom of the barrel...or am I coming up with creative new posts as a way of introducing you to new music whilst discussing tracks we all know and love/hate/don't particularly care about?
Anyway, this blog post will be looking at two songs with exactly the same title by two completely different Rock/Metal bands. NOTE: these are NOT covers, these are two separate songs with identical titles. I'm not entirely sure why some of these artists choose to name their track after a much more famous song (especially if it's just a filler track on their album) but there are still bands out there with such limited creativity that they just happen to come up with the same combination of words.
Consequently, I won't just be looking at which track I think is superior; I'll also be weighing in on whether I think the copied song title was chosen because the latter band was trying to cash in on the name of a much more popular song or whether they simply picked the same title by accident. Right, let's get listening!

EDIT: Forgot to add this Spotify playlist containing each track (original and cover). Feel free to listen to it as you read my write-ups!


ROUND ONE: Heartbreaker
Led Zeppelin - Released in 1969, this song off Led Zeppelin's second (and best) album is known for its epic guitar riff and funky rhythm, not to mention the literal guitar solo. It's not one of their better known tracks in comparison to songs such as "Stairway To Heaven", "Immigrant Song" and "Whole Lotta Love" but it's definitely one of the better tracks for fans of Riff Based Rock and early 70s Classic Rock. A top song to start with!
Pat Benatar - About 10 years later, Pat We-Don't-Need-No-Menatar released this punchy Hard Rock hit with next to no resemblance to Led Zepp's track despite containing the same title. The track's built more around Pat's vocals than the solid riff but don't assume this isn't a belter on guitar. The song ends on a great guitar solo and proper Rock outro, arguably more suitable for a track with a name as aggressive as "Heartbreaker".
VERDICT - Since the song's title is a single compound word that isn't exactly uncommon, there was clearly no copying going on here (don't worry, this is the only single word track on the list). However, as for which track is the better song in my personal opinion, I'm going with Led Zeppelin. I'll take a badass Classic Rock riff over a mediocre Hard Rock one any day.

ROUND TWO: Young Lust
Pink Floyd - From one Hard Rock track released in 1979 to another! I gave Pink Floyd a lot of shit in my last blog post but this song isn't that bad or, even worse, dull. It's got a good riff, a decent solo that stands out way more than "Comfortably Numb" and a catchy chorus, even if it does sound a little bit more like Pop or, dare I say, Disco than Rock. However, when's all said and done, this is a great track!
Aerosmith - ANOTHER 10 years later, we were given one of Aerosmith's better Hard Rock albums with album opener "Young Lust". Highlights include the footstomping rhythm and the twin guitar action of Perry and Whitford in full force. Tyler's vocals are pretty much peak Aerosmith too with his screams of "YOUNG LUST!" throughout. I'm still undecided as to whether I'm fully on board with it but they haven't got on my nerves yet (although they've come close).
VERDICT - Both songs are good for their own reasons but I'm giving the win to Aerosmith. As I've said countless times, I like my Rock to actually Rock and the latter song easily prevails in that department. As for whether Aerosmith got their name from the former song...I doubt it. Aerosmith's audience was significantly different to Pink Floyd's back then so there's no real reason they'd want to piggyback on the name of a lesser known Pink Floyd song.

ROUND THREE: Money For Nothing
Dire Straits - I love this song and fucking adore the build up at the start with the drum and synth cressendo. I just wish the drums maintained that power after Knopfler's cruising riff as they sound absolutely pissweak for the rest of the song. It goes from stadium to dive bar in a matter of seconds which I guess is appropriate considering the song's lyrics but annoying as a fan of both musical styles. Anyway, this is definitely one of Dire Straits' bigger songs so anyone who knows their Classic Rock should know this song.
Lapko - Uhhhh...fucken who? Lapko are an Alternative Rock band from Finland who clearly didn't get a copy of Brothers In Arms when they visited the record shop for inspiration in 2015. The song's hugely different to the Dire Straits track and sounds like whiny teen Rock. The guitar's OK, I guess. It's got a bit of a kick to it but those vocals sound as weak as the post-intro percussion in the Dire Straits song.
VERDICT - Obviously Dire Straits take the win here. I doubt Lapko took the song's name intentionally but I do think they were oblivious enough to not know about "Money For Nothing".

ROUND FOUR: Shout At The Devil
Motley Crue - One of their most famous songs boasting some heavy riffs, this song could easily be considered Heavy Metal if not for the poor guitar solo and fade-out in the outro. It's still a great song but it feels more chart friendly than some of Motley Crue's better songs. Even so, it's still a good tune to listen to now and then if you want something straightforward from your Hair Metal music.
Diamond Head - I reviewed the new Diamond Head album last October but didn't actually dwell on the fact that they named the second song on the record after one of the most famous Motley Crue songs. I'm not sure why as the song can definitely stand on its own feet. It's arguably not as heavy as the former song, despite belonging to Heavy Metal instead of Hair Metal and being released over 30 years after the Motley Crue single, but it's a decent filler track.
VERDICT - It's got to be Motley Crue again. It's heavier, got more distinct vocals and packs more into three minutes than the Diamond Head does into four. Granted the Diamond Head song has more going on in the guitar department but overall, the Motley Crue track does more to grab your attention. Personally, I think Diamond Head may have known what they were doing when they borrowed the song title. It's not one of their B-sides and it's not a common expression, although it is a film from the late 70s so it could've been inspired by that.

ROUND FIVE: Turn To Stone
Joe Walsh (and Barnstorm) - Joe Walsh has a lot of great material and has been credited with creating (or being largely responsible for) the sound we associate Classic Rock with when he was part of The James Gang. This song is a little slower than their hits and a similar tempo to big singles in Joe Walsh's solo career but overall, it's pretty forgettable. There are lengthy guitar solos but they're all pretty weightless so there aren't many positive aspects to this track. Joe Walsh even rerecorded this song a couple of years later in 1974. Didn't improve it but it does sound a lot cleaner, if you're interested...anyone? Nope, guess I'll move on then.
ELO - This is easily the more famous version of the song. It's got the classic ELO rhythm with plenty of Jeff Lynne and his Beatlesque space-age sound effects and tones throughout. Since it's more of a Pop Rock single, there isn't much to the song other than the verse and chorus combo but thankfully, it's a damn good combo that lasts exactly the right amount of time (approximately three minutes, for future reference). It goes without saying that it's easier on the ears than the Joe Walsh track.
VERDICT - Whilst I prefer the Classic Rock genre to Pop Rock, it has to be ELO who takes the win for this one for reasons previously listed. Since there were a good five years or so between the initial release of Joe Walsh's "Turn To Stone" and ELO's, it's possible that Jeff Lynne may have been inspired by the former track. However, it's equally likely that the idea of turning to stone is a common one that multiple artists can think of without relying on each other. Gosh, this post's really nailing it so far, huh.

ROUND SIX: Don't Stop Me Now
Queen - I think this is quite possibly the first Queen song I ever heard, or at least ever attributed to Queen. It's built almost entirely around the piano and vocal combo with Brian May's guitar only coming in at the short guitar solo before the final chorus, although there is a version of this song that exists with guitar throughout the entire track (it's pretty meh but feel free to check it out!). Luckily, it doesn't need riffs and technical solos to be a fun little track that prove Queen can still knock it out of the park seven albums into their career.
Status Quo - Whilst the previous track was Queen at their best, this one was released around the time Status Quo was at theirs. Vocal harmonies are typical Quo and the guitars are fairly standard for their material too. It's a little bit heavier than some of their signature songs too so fans of bigger Rock bands might enjoy it more than "Sweet Caroline" and "Whatever You Want", although don't expect more than music that's catchy all round.
VERDICT - I really like both songs but the choice is easy. Queen win it for writing what's clearly the more fun Rock song. I find myself listening to their track frequently whenever I want a short but hugely enjoyable burst of music. Whilst it's possible that Status Quo picked this exact combination of words that happened to be popularised by Queen without knowing about the Queen song, I believe it's almost certain that Status Quo knew they were using the same title of a popular Queen track (potentially to sponge a bit of attention), even if it wasn't as popular as it is now thanks to Shaun Of The Dead and...well, Shaun Of The Dead.

ROUND SEVEN: The Way It Is
Bruce Hornsby & The Range - I'm not sure whether Pop Rock, Yacht Rock, Soft Rock or outright Pop is the best way to categorise this song from 1986 but either way, it's one of those tunes that you'll remember once you listen to the opening piano melody or chorus. I'm not sure if Bruce Hornsby ever wrote any songs heavier or more Rock orientated than this but between the emphasis on the lyrics, two piano solos and bass synth, it's a fairly average track that's decent in small doses.
Tesla - As far as 80s Hard Rock love songs go, this one's not bad. Great vocals, solid guitar, memorable if not relatively basic solos and a proper outro. It's no "Cumin' Atcha Live" or "Modern Day Cowboy" but if you like slower tracks that still pack a punch, I'd recommend checking this one out.
VERDICT - I've mostly been favouring the original and more famous tracks so far but I'm inclined to give Tesla the win here. It's no secret that I prefer Rock to Pop but to be honest, I'm not too fussy about the genre as long as the melody's good. The Bruce Hornsby single is good but the Tesla track has more going for it, despite also being a slower song. I can't imagine Tesla stealing the phrase "the way it is" from Bruce Hornsby to make their song more notable, although I reckon at least one member of the band knew of the song before they wrote theirs. However, since it's a fairly common expression, chances are they felt like using the same name was justified.

ROUND EIGHT: Bad Reputation
Thin Lizzy - I'm not sure if it's fair to call this a well known Thin Lizzy song. It's got an album named after it and it was chosen to be in Guitar Hero 2 instead of all the other classic Thin Lizzy tracks yet I feel like it's nothing more than a filler track with a decent solo. This song was released in the late 70s during the period where Thin Lizzy were transitioning from Classic Rock to Hard Rock a few years away from their second transition from Hard Rock to Metal, although this track is definitively Hard Rock.
Joan Jett - Most of you will probably know the cover of this song from the film Shrek but as far as female Punk songs from the 80s go, this one's damn good. It might have a dodgy key change and could do with something to deviate from the same verse/chorus structure (aside from that godawful guitar "solo") but in short bursts, it's a great little "Fuck you" song which is what Punk should be. Plus, Joan Jett's vocals sound just right for the song, unlike the loud, droning atonal shite most female Punk tracks have.
VERDICT - Yeah, Joan Jett takes it here. Compare the two tracks and the Thin Lizzy one just sounds boring, even if I will always prefer Hard Rock on the whole to Punk. Once again, the words "bad reputation" aren't unique enough to make me assume Joan Jett stole them for her own gain and I don't believe she even knew the Thin Lizzy album or track existed when she wrote her song. Besides, Punk bands thought 70s Rock groups were boring and shunned their works in favour of anti-establishment noise so copying one doesn't add up.

ROUND NINE: I'm A Believer
The Monkees - You know what? I like The Monkees. They're not a guilty pleasure or anything like that, they're just a good band in my books. They've got some great Rock tracks for a bubblegum Pop band and whilst this signature song of theirs does sound a little too safe to be "Rock" from that decade, it has a great chorus and a good little solo too; you can thank Neil Diamond for that, as he wrote this song. Oh hey, this song was also covered in Shrek, although this time by Smash Mouth. Small world, huh.
Giant - Back to 1989 with another Hard Rock track, I see. Opening with a passable solo before turning into a Bon Jovi song, "I'm A Believer" by Giant sounds nothing like The Monkees' hit and, therefore, reached nowhere near the same amount of success. It's an OK track too but I feel like naming it the same as a much more popular tune likely did more harm than good, as there's a line between piggybacking and dooming yourself that this song strides across, especially since most of the lesser known previous shared song titles belong to filler tracks as opposed to hit singles.
VERDICT - Well, to be fair to Giant, it's not a bad track. A little bland and too similar to much greater Hard Rock bands of the time but I don't mind listening to it. That doesn't mean it takes the win, though. The Monkees clear this one and I'm pretty sure at least one member of the band or producer knew about their song before entering the studio, hence why none of you know about Giant. Nice choice of band name too, fellas. Definitely didn't tempt fate there.

ROUND TEN: Danger Zone
Rainbow - Believe it or not, even this wasn't the first Rock song named "Danger Zone". Quiet Riot recorded one for the Metal Health album but I'm not entirely sure when that was released, as I'm pretty sure it wasn't on the original album. The Rainbow track, however, was and that came out in 1979. It's built around a pretty sweet riff (what else from Blackmore?) and Bonnet's vocals make this track great to Rock out to as well. However, I think we all know what's coming next so let's just cut to the chase, shall we?
Kenny Loggins - Song from Top Gun, classic chorus, simplistic guitar, awesome solo, fucking rocks, 'nuff said.
VERDICT - If you're ever faced with this decision and you pick anyone other than Kenny Loggins, your opinion is not valid. Pick another shared song title for your bullshit "I'm smart because I don't conform to popular opinion" hot take, The Log Dog will always win when you're in the Danger Zone!


I found quite a few songs with shared song titles so expect another one of these posts a few months or so from now. Likewise, if you have any requests for songs to be included in said post, let me know in the comments or via Twitter.

Sunday, 30 April 2017

Lower The Bar - Steel Panther

Well this is a sharp contrast to my last review but here we are. I'm reviewing the latest Steel Panther album because all the real bands got their shit together last year instead.


Steel Panther have always been a band I tend to stray away from when searching for new music as I know I'm never going to listen to their material enough to justify owning it in the first place. It's not that they suck or that I have a personal hatred for any particular member of the band, it's just that I'm not a big enough asshole to blast their music out my car or sit in private rocking out to what's clearly a massive parody of their own genre. Everything I've heard of the band suggest they have one dimension, maybe two at a push; generic Hair Metal numbers with uninspired lyrics about sex and occasionally power ballads with a bit more thought put into the quality of the lyrical songwriting.
Album opener "Goin' In The Backdoor" is firmly in the first category. The guitarwork may be solid but the structure and rhythm is fairly typical of your bog standard Hair Metal band like Poison or Motley Crue...but mostly Poison. There are plenty of these songs dotted throughout the album such as "Pussy Ain't Free" and "Wrong Side Of The Tracks (Out In Beverly Hills)"; great music, embarrassing lyrics that prevents the song from being likable. However, to the band's credit, they really do get the music just right. You can pick a series of songs from 80s Hair Metal playlists with tracks off this album thrown in random places and they'd blend together perfectly despite there being a 30 year gap in between.
There's also the hint of some musical development as several tracks sound less like Hair Metal B-sides and more like Hard Rock singles. "Anything Goes" still has silly lyrics but the use of synth, David Lee Roth screeches and epic riffs give it a Van Halen-esque quality, along with unwritten KISS tune "I Got What You Want" and "Poontang Boomerang", even if the latter flat out steals the chord sequence from "Blackout In The Red Room" - Love/Hate. There are also tracks clearly taking influence from other Rock outfits from the 70s such as "Walk Of Shame" containing a Joe Perry guitar riff and a cover of Cheap Trick's "She's Tight" rounding the album off nicely.

These are all songs that would've been vastly improved if the lyrics weren't so blatant and crass, even if that is Steel Panther's entire shtick. They should've taken a page out of Tenacious D's book and released two versions of the album; one with the original lyrics and one with clean ones that sound much funnier when you're left to imagine what they're actually singing. Sure, this could be seen as them selling out to get more radio play but they are Hair Metal. When was the last time you heard a great Hair Metal album that wasn't written with the intent of raking in cash and pussy?
Some tracks are just about passable on the lyrical front, such as power ballad "That's When You Came In". You can justify crude lyrics if they're presented in a relatively innocent or tongue-in-cheek way (see "Christmas Time (Don't Let The Bells End)" - The Darkness or the heavier Cheap Trick songs) as opposed to flat out singing about how much you like the feel of your dick in someone's arse. You can call me a prude but it's not a matter of me finding the lyrics distasteful; they're just not funny anymore. There's only so long the joke can go on for and four albums in, it's getting pretty fucking stale.
"Wasted Too Much Time" is a good example of where the band succeed and fail all in one song. If you've never heard Steel Panther before and listen just up to the first minute, it has the power to be hilarious. It starts off like a Hair Metal power ballad and you think it's going to be another break-up song with cringe-worthy lyrics but then it gets to the chorus and it sounds like a funny take on all those godawful heartbreak hymns. It would be a great joke if used as a snippet in a comedy film, just like This Is Spinal Tap did with select tracks. However, just like many tracks from This Is Spinal Tap, it can't stand up on its own feet when presented as an actual song.

Similar to how earlier albums experimented with branching into Whitesnake and Warrant style songs, Lower The Bar takes more of a plunge into Hard Rock territory but without toning some of the lyrics down, it's all for naught. However, this is the catch-22 of Steel Panther. Their entire appeal is the over-the-top nature of their lyrics paired with well written Hair Metal/Hard Rock music. If they change the foundations of their music, they risk losing fans without standing out enough to gain new ones but if they remain the same for another four albums, they also risk losing fans to bands that are adapting and challenging themselves to make new, exciting material.
Steel Panther need to make a decision as to whether they want to risk losing elitist fans by going more commercial, continue treading water whilst hoping for the best or push the parody even further by creating an entire mythology for the band and releasing a "90s Hair Metal album" that signifies their "decline", only with better music and cleverer lyrics. I don't see that happening any time soon, though, so I guess we can expect another balls to the wall record with fast paced songs about fingering, 69ing, sex addiction and Nutella sandwiches (the sex act, not the food. Don't look it up; you've been warned).
I rate this album 5/10 for having some pretty sweet tunes, marred by off-putting lyrics though they may be. However, I can't bring myself to say that Lower The Bar is anything better than average and would only recommend this to fans of Steel Panther or Hair Metal music as opposed to Hair Metal songs. Also imbeciles who can hear the same joke hundreds of times and piss themselves laughing with every delivery of the word "cock", provided they can stomach the sound of 80s Rock instead of their usual musical diet of dubstep, chart music and The Killers.

Thursday, 15 December 2016

Rapid Fire: Boston, Winger, Damn Yankees

Apologies for missing blog posts recently but here's the first of two I intend on posting this week. It's been a while since I've done a Rapid Fire post so for those of you who don't remember, I'm basically going to quickly discuss three different albums that have been out and about for a while now rather than go into one single album with the usual amount of depth that a review contains.
The three albums are often linked in some way, whether it's by genre or decade, but this link is simply self-titled debut albums from different decades. There are several albums to choose from so I may revisit this link one day but for now, I've chosen my three!
First up, we have a record which has been mentioned a few times on the blog and is easily one of the finest albums for the genre ever written.

1. Boston - Boston


Everything on this album is perfect.
From the amazing album cover to the production values, this is a classic and deserves a spot in the Rock & Roll Halls Of Fame (not the tacky one which every Rock star hates, I mean the ethereal one beyond this plain of reality). Album opener "More Than A Feeling" is probably the most iconic Classic Rock song of all time but anyone who's listened to the album will probably agree in saying it's not even one of the best tracks on it. However, it is a great song and a suitable introduction to the album. Each track stands out as being a well-crafted, beautifully written masterpiece and the whole album blends together without fault.
However, behind the upbeat Classic Rock music, the lyrics hint at something a bit more sombre. You could argue that one of the main themes for this album whether intentional or not is suicide as a means of reaching a better destination, as the album is littered with lines that could be interpreted in such a way ("I close my eyes and I slipped away", "you'll forget about me after I've been gone", "all I want is to have my peace of mind"). Hell, "Hitch A Ride" is full of them but that doesn't stop it from being an incredible track and my personal favourite off the album with an excellent guitar solo at the end*.
The main takeaway is that it's a versatile album. Want to listen to it whilst roaring down the highway? Stick "Smokin'" on and have a blast. Chilling in the house/doing some DIY? You want "Foreplay/Long Time" or "Something About You". Feeling relaxed? "Let Me Take You Home Tonight", provided you don't mind waking up a bit during the outro. It suits all moods and has more layers than your average Rock album, clearly the result of artists who took pride and care in their work. It's a shame the studio pressured them into pumping more music out, as the follow-up is OK but doesn't touch the greatness of the debut.

1. More Than A Feeling
2. Peace Of Mind
3. Foreplay/Long Time
4. Rock & Roll Band
5. Smokin'
6. Hitch A Ride
7. Something About You
8. Let Me Take You Home Tonight
ALBUM RATING - 10/10

Strong start, right there. Next up, we have a Hair Metal album from a band that probably deserves a bit more radio airtime than they're getting.


2. Winger - Winger


Whilst some tracks may give this record the illusion of another bland Hair Metal album, Winger is actually a bit more complex than that. Sure, all the hallmarks are there from sing-a-long choruses to lyrics about love and sex but there's something a bit more technical about the music than your average Poison or Motley Crue track. As well as boasting frenzied solos, the guitar and bass melodies in the verses pack more than a few basic chord sequences and the overall structure for each song is less formulaic than your standard Rock tracks.
Popular hits from the album include obligatory power ballad "Headed For A Heartbreak", thankfully shoved at the very end of the album to wind things down and "Seventeen", a catchy tune about a sexy teenager. However, one of the biggest problems with the album is the lack of variety. Kip Winger, whilst easily a talented vocalist and bassist, only had so much inspiration for songwriting as familiar riffs and sounds creep into the lesser known tracks, e.g. "Without The Night" using similar keyboard melodies to "Headed For A Heartbreak", "Hungry" and "Time To Surrender" containing the same chord transition during the chorus and "Poison Angel" treading dangerously close to opening with a sped up version of the "Seventeen" intro.
Fortunately, this means that if you like Winger's singles, you'll probably love the entire album. Sure, the tracks may share features that are easy to compare but they're all standalone tracks with more differences than similarities. It's a fine album for fans of Hair Metal who want something a bit more stimulating than "Talk Dirty To Me".

1. Madalaine
2. Hungry
3. Seventeen
4. Without The Night
5. Purple Haze
6. State Of Emergency
7. Time To Surrender
8. Poison Angel
9. Hangin On
10. Headed For A Heartbreak
ALBUM RATING - 7/10

Finally, our last eponymous debut is from the 90s so you know it's going to be more disappointing than the previous two.


3. Damn Yankees - Damn Yankees


Damn Yankees were a supergroup from the 90s featuring the guitarist/vocalist from Styx (Tommy Shaw), the bassist from Night Ranger (Jack Blades), a drummer named Michael Cartellone and Ted Nugent, probably the biggest name out of the bunch and not for good reasons. In all fairness, it's not a bad debut. It also does the job of a good supergroup and sounds like a healthy blend of styles rather than just another vehicle for one member to write the same kind of music but without someone they didn't get along with in a previous band.
It's actually quite impressive that all the positive aspects of each band the musicians came from has been amplified here; the music's more polished than Ted Nugent's, more raw than Night Ranger and heavier than Styx. Granted there are some tracks that you can tell were written by certain band members ("Rock City" and "Piledriver" belonging to Ted, "High Enough" belonging to Jack and "Come Again" belonging to Tommy) but every band member has made their mark on each song. However, unlike music from their previous endeavours, the songs on Damn Yankees are quite homogeneous. You can listen to the album start to finish, enjoy most of it but then struggle to remember which title pairs with which song about ten minutes later.
The only track that stands out to me in a good way is the title track, "Damn Yankees". It's got catchy riffs and a chorus that announces their presence on the Rock scene with pride. However, despite standing out, it doesn't have the same repeat value as some of the tracks I've mentioned on this post by the two other bands. I would recommend this album if you like uncompromising Hard Rock and want something to dip into every five months or so but not if you want an album to stick in the car for your drives in and out of work each morning.

1. Coming Of Age
2. Bad Reputation
3. Runaway
4. High Enough
5. Damn Yankees
6. Come Again
7. Mystified
8. Rock City
9. Tell Me How You Want It
10. Piledriver
ALBUM RATING - 6/10

Expect another post this week that may or may not involve video games.


* I know this sounds a bit forced but Brad Delp (lead vocalist) did actually kill himself over ten years ago and guess which song they played at his funeral?

Sunday, 6 November 2016

Showdown: Homages/Rip Offs 4 - Video Game edition

Another Homages/Rip Offs post? OK yes, this is the fourth one I've done in about a year BUT there's a twist to this particular post! Instead of comparing Rock/Metal songs to other Rock/Metal songs, I'll be looking at pieces of music composed for video games and comparing them with existing Rock/Metal songs (or vice versa, depending on which came first). To clarify, I'm not talking about licensed tracks used in video games like Guitar Hero or GTA, I'm talking 100% video game music compared and contrasted with 100% Rock/Metal.
Also, whilst I'd usually list both the bands in the round number and then talk about the individual songs before the verdict, I'll be naming the band and the video game franchise in the round number before discussing individual songs and the title for the piece of music/level it's featured in. Not only that but I'll also include a YouTube link to the piece of video game music, just in case you want to compare tunes but didn't have the same childhood as mine. As for the composers of the video game music, I'll credit them if I can find the correct information online.
Right then, we all know the format. If not, here's the last post for you to brush up on. Let's get started!

ROUND ONE: Spyro The Dragon vs. Gov't Mule
Cloud Spires - It was tempted to pick a song by The Police and compare that to something composed by Stewart Copeland for Spyro The Dragon ("Next To You" probably) but it turns out there's an even better song to look at, which I'll get to later. First, this tune from Spyro: Year Of The Dragon (3rd game in the original PS1 trilogy) has what I'd call a classic Spyro The Dragon sound; organ accompaniment, strong guitar riff, upbeat and fun game music at its finest. I should note that the song I'm comparing sounds like a mish-mash of Spyro music so feel free to check out some similar sounding tunes: Sunny Villa, Mushroom Speedway and probably a bunch from Spyro 2: Gateway To Glimmer that I've forgotten about.
Streamline Woman - OK, I first heard this song in Guitar Hero 5 BUT this isn't the video game song in question. It's a Southern Rock track with some pretty sweet riffs throughout and a fun little middle-eight after the guitar solo. It comes in just after the two minute mark but the particular section of that I'm comparing starts around 2:17. It may not sound identical but I can't be the only person to think this little section of the song sounds like it was plucked out of Spyro The Dragon.
VERDICT - Small spoilers for this post but this is the only round on the list where the video game came before the Rock song! Even though Spyro: Year Of The Dragon came out about six years before the Gov't Mule song, I doubt this Southern Rock outfit knowingly copied the tune or even the general sound of the game's music. That being said, I'm giving the win to Spyro The Dragon as I'd much rather listen to the Cloud Spires music than "Streamline Woman", which somehow becomes more repetitive than video game music.

ROUND TWO: Queen vs. Pokemon
We Will Rock You - Even if you don't like Rock music, this is one of those songs that EVERYONE knows the chorus to. It's anthematic and even though the faster version of this track often played live is far superior to the original, you can't deny that the classic BOOM-BOOM-CLAP and delivery of the song's title is fucking awesome...you know, when you haven't heard it to death.
Vs. Champion/Rival - The final battle music from Pokemon Red/Blue/Yellow and yes, I know it's 8-bit; just stick with it. When you get to the 14 second mark, a little tune plays that sounds astonishingly similar to the Queen classic. Not much else to say about comparing the two but in terms of the music itself, it's a pretty fantastic tune to hear when you finally face your rival. You only ever hear it at that point in the game and the stabbing notes played throughout make it sound more dramatic. Top tune and I'd love to hear a remixed orchestral version of it.
VERDICT - Not only do I believe that Junichi Masuda had influence from Queen to come up with that tune (which is by far the most polite way of saying he ripped it off), but I'm giving the win to Queen as well. I love the Final Battle theme but it just doesn't have the same power as the Queen original, even if it is more dramatic.

ROUND THREE: Survivor vs. Ratchet & Clank
Eye Of The Tiger - Another iconic Rock anthem, always associated with themes of underdogs fighting their way to the top. As soon as you hear the "dugga-dugga-dugga-dugga" of the guitar kick in, you immediately know what you're in for, arguably more so than with the main power chords. It's also got a simplistic but notable bassline designed to emphasise the drumbeat and rhythm of the song.
Korthos Sector, Pirate Radio 6 - Admit it, this is fucking obvious. Even more obvious than the last track, which is saying something. The only main difference between this and the Survivor song is that instead of vocals, we get a synth playing the main melody. Anyway, since Ratchet & Clank: A Crack In Time allows you to fly around different sectors of the galaxy and listen to a few radio stations containing music composed by Boris Salchow, there are many tracks to enjoy and Pirate Radio is essentially the Rock radio station of the game. It contains a bunch of tunes similar to Rock hits, including one heavily inspired by "Are You Gonna Be My Girl?" - Jet that I was tempted to write about instead of this one.
VERDICT - If I'd picked the Jet rip-off...yeah, I probably would've given it to Ratchet & Clank. However, since I've talked about how Jet copied Iggy Pop already, I picked these two tracks and hence the win goes to Survivor. They created the iconic song and Boris Salchow rewrote it for the game. Nothing wrong with that, as it's definitely a homage instead of a rip-off, but he doesn't deserve the win for it.

ROUND FOUR: Shocking Blue vs. Croc
Venus - A song made famous in modern years by an advert for a women's razor blade. It's notable for its chord progression, key change in the verse and lyrics in the chorus. It's not a bad little tune and it's easily the band's biggest hit, although I personally prefer "Send Me A Postcard". It's hardly a Rock classic or even a Psychedelic Rock classic, as there are plenty of them to name. It'd be pretty easy to lift and, I dunno, rewrite to fit into an appropriately themed level.
Venus Von Fly-Trappe - Guess what my verdict on this piece of music from Croc 2 is going to be? If you thought it was obvious enough by the name, give it a listen. They use the exact chord progression from the verse and chorus, albeit spiced up a little to sound more tribal. Plus, they also slipped a crafty Sound Of Music reference in there and all! I'm not sure if this game was released before or after the razor adverts but there's no denying the glaring similarities.
VERDICT - Karin Griffin obviously intended this adaptation of "Venus" to be an in-joke among parents who knew the song whilst their kid played this game but it's impossible to say it's merely a homage. It's one of those rare tracks that's simultaneously a homage and rip-off but even with that judgement in mind, I'm giving the win to Croc 2. I like the Shocking Blue original but the tune just sounds more appropriate as the music preceding a boss battle with a giant venus fly trap in a caveman village.

ROUND FIVE: The Beatles vs. Earthbound
When I'm Sixty Four - I think I have more fond memories of this song due to the Yellow Submarine cartoon, not the actual song itself. It's a jolly little number about growing old and sticking together, the antitheses of "Help!" in tone if you will. There isn't really a specific part of this song that's similar to the video game music but if you listen to this track and recall the overall sound and chord progression, it's remarkably similar to this next piece.
Buy Somethin' Will Ya! - I can't say I have much interest in this franchise but I do like this little tune. Definitely one of my favourite shop themes from video games (along with the shop theme from Legend Of Zelda: Ocarina Of Time/Wind Waker) and something I can listen to for ages before getting bored of it. However, the jaunty bass, simplistic rhythm and structure of the tune sound almost identical to that of "When I'm Sixty Four".
VERDICT - It's fairly well known in the Earthbound/Mother community that composers Keiichi Suzuki and Hirokazu Tanaka were heavily inspired by John Lennon (Suzuki in particular) when making the music for Earthbound, one of the significant reasons for licensing issues with the game overseas. However, even though I love The Beatles, I'm not a humongous fan of "When I'm Sixty Four" (although I like it on occasion) so I give the win to Earthbound. It's short, it's cute and it's catchier than the original track, even when played on repeat for half an hour. Perfect drug store music!

ROUND SIX: Styx vs. Super Smash Bros.
Heavy Metal Poisoning - Not one of Styx's most well known tracks but a solid track off Kilroy Was Here, the album that gave us "Mr. Roboto". It also starts off with some creepy backmasking before a guitar riff kicks the song off and it's that riff that we're looking at. Once you've finished listening to that opening riff, do yourself a favour and enjoy the rest of the song once more...well, at least until the four and a half minute mark where it starts losing the plot a little.
Ground Theme/Super Mario Bros. 3 - A rearranged tune originally from an old Mario game but jazzed up for Super Smash Bros. Melee. I didn't use the original tune because it sounds nothing like the Styx riff but with the use of crunching overdrive, the opening guitar riff to this sounds pretty close to "Heavy Metal Poisoning". Fortunately, both pieces of music are completely different after that.
VERDICT - Yeah, it's going to Styx. I doubt Shogo Sakai has even heard that Styx track so it's not a case of homage or rip off. With that in mind, I put it to which track I think is better and honestly, I was never a fan of the Super Mario Bros ground themes. They're cute but outside of the games, they get old pretty fast.

ROUND SEVEN: Cheap Trick vs. Street Fighter
Mighty Wings - I should really listen to more Cheap Trick, as they've got a pretty solid back catalogue with some great Rock tracks buried by radio friendly singles such as "I Want You To Want Me" and "Dream Police". This track was written for the Top Gun soundtrack and recorded by Cheap Trick so the intro has a few similarities to "Danger Zone" - Kenny Loggins, albeit without the same edge that makes that song awesome. What I'm basically saying is I don't really care for this track despite liking Cheap Trick...that and the intro is what I'm focusing on.
Ken's Theme - Got to say, I prefer the Super Street Fighter II Turbo version of the original but I still prefer this theme to Ryu's and, yes, maybe even Guile's. Anyway, the intro sounds like a stripped back, sped up version of the Cheap Trick hit, at least for the first few notes. After that, it breaks into a different tune designed to accompany fighting rather than flying.
VERDICT - Similar to the last round, I don't believe Yoko Shimomura was a Cheap Trick fan or even subtly decided to nick the song from Top Gun for this game. However, unlike the last round, I'm giving the win to Street Fighter as I definitely prefer Ken's Theme to "Mighty Wings". If "Mighty Wings" was a bit faster though...I dunno.

ROUND EIGHT: Supertramp vs. The Last Tinker
Give A Little Bit - I used to be intensely bored by this song but only after listening to the whole thing start to finish did I realise how much I truly love it. It's probably the outro that did it for me but most people will know this song for the opening guitar chords and vocals. In fact, it's that section and the bit that starts "there's so much that we need to share" that I'm comparing to the next tune.
Tinkertown's Market Hymn - I'm surprised more games from the last decade aren't in this list but for those of you who haven't played The Last Tinker: City Of Colour, it's a great little platformer with a unique soundtrack. To me, this song has a few little similarities to the Supertramp one but nothing concrete like some of the others on this list. However, every time I hear this tune, I can't help but hum the lyrics to "Give A Little Bit" and now, you will too. Sorry.
VERDICT - Fuck, this is a tricky one. I love listening to both of them and even though I don't think the piece of music is close enough to Supertramp's song to call it a rip off or homage, I reckon FBP may have been subtly influenced by the sound of that track IF he'd heard it. I'm giving the win to both Supertramp and The Last Tinker for creating two similar but ultimately different tunes that I love to listen to equally. By the way, if you are following the links to the video game music, I recommend checking the rest of the soundtrack out for The Last Tinker: City Of Colours on that bandcamp page and supporting the guy if you can afford it.

ROUND NINE: Motley Crue vs. Legend Of Zelda
Looks That Kill - Not my favourite Motley Crue track but a solid Hair Metal tune. I should probably thank Wikipedia for this comparison as I wouldn't have picked it up myself had I not remembered something I read on the page for this song about seven years ago. When the chorus starts, the guitar plays sustained notes before returning to the intro riff. Remember those notes and the order they go in!
Palace Theme - After the introduction, those notes from the Motley Crue song are arranged in more or less the same way here. Pretty spooky, right? They're practically the same song if you ignore the 8-bit sound, the different tempo, the music in the background and the fact that Zelda II: The Adventure Of Link definitely, definitely, DEFINITELY wouldn't have taken inspiration from an American Hair Metal band to promote itself.
VERDICT - The mild similarities between these songs have got to be coincidental so Akito Nakatsuka gets away with it this time. However, what he doesn't get away with is the win for this round, as I'm awarding it to Motley Crue and Motley Crue alone. I may not care for that song but I damn sure prefer it to the Legend Of Zelda one, even if it sounds pretty good when rearranged properly for Super Smash Bros. Melee.

ROUND TEN: Bon Jovi vs. Mega Man
Runaway - Our last song on this list is a decent Hard Rock track that often gets snubbed in favour of something off the Slippery When Wet album when people choose Bon Jovi tracks to play. I was going to review Bon Jovi's latest album, This House Is Not For Sale, this week but since it has yet to appear on Spotify, I don't see why I should listen to it. Anyway, the synth intro to this song is what we're comparing here. Listen to the notes played and then check this little tune out.
Stage Select - Not the best tune from the first Mega Man but if you slowed it down and imagined it wasn't 8-bit, it would sound a hell of a lot like the Bon Jovi song. It's about as close as you can get to the "Runaway" intro without straight up plagiarising it but I can't help but wonder what it would've sounded like if Mega Man was released today, you know with a proper orchestral soundtrack. I think everyone would want to hear the Mega Man 2 soundtrack with an orchestra and I bet, if you look hard enough online, you'll find one.
VERDICT - If the Stage Select tune was a little longer and not quite as irritating after a while...nah, I'd still give it to Bon Jovi. Great song, great intro; sorry Manami Matsumae.


Did I miss any obvious comparisons? Maybe some orchestral tune from a JRPG that sounds like Boston or Judas Priest? Let me know in the comments or via Twitter if there are any songs that sound incredibly similar to video game music and I'll check them out. Hell, I might even add them to this post.
Next week, it'll either be another video game related post OR a Rapid Fire post.