Rapid Fire: Black Stone Cherry, The Offspring, Foo Fighters

Recently, I went to visit family and had to spend five hours driving from my house to theirs. Before setting off, I grabbed three CDs from my collection that I hadn't listened to for the car journey and once I arrived, decided to write a blog post discussing each album. So yeah, that's the theme for this month's Rapid Fire post. Not genres, not decades, just three albums I listened to whilst travelling alone on the motorway.


1. Magic Mountain - Black Stone Cherry

The first album I listened to was easily the best although don't mistake that for me saying it was a great album overall. Magic Mountain has some decent Hard Rock tracks but more often than not, the songs were built on uninspired riffs and generic Black Stone Cherry material. Album opener "Holding On...To Letting Go" starts off with a great rhythm and some decent riffing but regrettably the band make their classic mistake of letting things slow down for no good reason in the middle. It's a shame too as the guitar solo's pretty good, although changing the rhythm in the middle of a song by slowing it down rarely ever works unless you're a Prog Metal band and even then, it's never worth it.
The slower sections of the album come in the form of drug themed tracks such as "Peace Pipe", "Me And Mary Jane" and "Blow My Mind". Similar to some of the material off the latest albums by The Sword, I get the impression that the chilled, Southern Groove behind each of these songs sounds better when 'blazing up' as all the hip kids say. Since I was behind the wheel at the time of listening to these tracks, I can't confirm or deny that theory but what I can confirm is that unlike other Black Stone Cherry albums I've listened to, this album has songs I would love to listen to again such as 70s throwback and title track "Magic Mountain" and emotionally charged album closer "Remember Me", even if it does go on way too long.
The stronger aspects of the record, as always, are the dynamic riffs and heavy grooves whereas I felt myself tuning out during the slower, whinier numbers ("Sometimes") and gimmicky filler tracks straight outta shit-kicker, cousin-fucker county ("Hollywood In Kentucky"). All in all though, it's a complete album that didn't feel like it was playing it too safe or recycling material (unlike another album I'll be discussing lower down). I recommend Magic Mountain to fans of Hard/Southern Rock although don't set your standards too high.

1. Holding On...To Letting Go

2. Peace Pipe

3. Bad Luck & Hard Love

4. Me And Mary Jane

5. Runaway

6. Magic Mountain

7. Never Surrender

8. Blow My Mind

9. Sometimes

10. Fiesta Del Fuego

11. Dance Girl

12. Hollywood In Kentucky

13. Remember Me

ALBUM RATING - 6/10

Next up is an album by Pop Punk champions The Offspring!

2. Americana - The Offspring

Don't let the album artwork fool you; this album isn't even the remotest bit interesting. Released in 1998 and after the band's much better albums Smash and Ixnay On The Hombre (not to mention before Conspiracy Of One, also a better album), Americana is supposed to be the band's statement on life in America from the band's youthful perspective but ends up sounding like weaker versions of material we've already heard before. Album opener "Welcome/Have You Ever" has the same rhythm, the same guitarwork and the same basic vocal structure as your typical Offspring track only it lacks that special spark. Possibly because the band try to add more progressive elements to their aggressive Pop Punk and it simply doesn't work.

Whilst there are some instances of tracks working perfectly as they are ("The Kids Aren't Alright", "Staring At The Sun"), the majority of songs on the album trip and fall over themselves. For example, lead single "Pretty Fly (For A White Guy)" has an amazing chorus and some fine guitar/vocal work, not to mention decent Latin influences. Unfortunately, it's ruined by the obnoxious "GIVVIT TO ME BAY-BEEEE, UH-HUH UH-HUH" throughout. If that vocal melody was played on guitar instead, this would've been an album highlight. There's also album closer "Pay The Man", a song originally intended to be on the previous album but was left off because they felt like it didn't belong. That was a smart decision, unlike the decision to make it eight-minutes long and easily forgettable. That was a dumb decision.

Ultimately, you'll probably enjoy this album if you haven't heard their previous work, similar to how you probably think Die Hard 4.0 is awesome if you haven't seen the first or second one. Americana is surplus goods and the Pop Punk filler tracks are old news at this point. Even the singles are dull or flawed to the point that they're not enjoyable (apart from "The Kids Aren't Alright"). You don't really stand to gain anything from listening to this entire album that you couldn't get elsewhere and the fact that the band's next album moved towards more conventional Rock than their brand of Skater Punk tells you that at least one member of the band felt like Americana showed warning signs of the band going stale.

1. Welcome

2. How Are You

3. Staring At The Sun

4. Pretty Fly (For A White Guy)

5. The Kids Aren't Alright

6. Feelings

7. She's Got Issues

8. Walla Walla

9. The End Of The Line

10. No Brakes

11. Why Don't You Get A Job

12. Americana

13. Pay The Man

14. Pretty Fly (Reprise)

ALBUM RATING - 3/10

And last but certainly least, we have Dave Grohl "experimenting"!

3. There Is Nothing Left To Lose - Foo Fighters

I fucking hate this album. It's generic, depressing, repetitive and possibly worst of all, it feels like Dave Grohl knew exactly what he was doing. The first three songs are completely different to the rest of the album and unsurprisingly, those three songs are the ones that are (semi) popular Foos tracks. Album opener "Stacked Actors" sports a great riff, an explosive chorus, a decent guitar solo and some classic Grohl vocals. Following close behind is "Breakout", another proper Rock song with Dave letting loose throughout. However, once we reach "Learn To Fly", a mediocre but passable radio friendly song designed to sound as commercial as possible, everything goes downhill.

The rest of the album contains guitar riffs that sound like they were written in about 10 seconds ("Live-In Skin", "Headwires"), percussion that would nudge coma patients onto the next mortal plain of existence ("Ain't It The Life", "Aurora") and vocals with all the energy and passion of an insurance salesman humming TV ad jingles whilst waiting for a bus ("M.I.A.", "Next Year"). It's almost as if Grohl didn't have much confidence in what he was doing so decided to start the album off with his three favourite songs so that people would hear the first few tracks and mistake There's Nothing Left To Lose for a Rock album.

This is the kind of album I'd imagine pretentious, hipster douches listening to because of how sensitive and non-threatening this "Rock" music is; your Zach Braffs, your Simon Neils, etc. If you're one of them, go knock yourselves out. Literally, knock yourselves out because your taste is awful and unwanted. Do not listen to this album, there are literally hundreds of better modern Rock records that don't sound phoned in or misleading. I've criticised Queens Of The Stone Age material due to how the mix of soft vocals and aggressively fuzzy guitar/bass tones does not work but I'll take Josh Homme's audio jizzrag over Dave Grohl's, if this album's anything to go by.

1. Stacked Actors

2. Breakout

3. Learn To Fly

4. Gimme Stitches

5. Generator

6. Aurora

7. Live-In Skin

8. Next Year

9. Headwires

10. Ain't It The Life

11. M.I.A.

ALBUM RATING - 2/10

COMING SOON: Tenology posts and more NEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWS.

Tenology: More Weak Guitar Solos In Rock/Metal

I know it hasn't been long since the last blog post about weak solos but in typical Riffs And Raffs tradition, I recalled about eight songs with weak solos right after finishing the first post. Similar to the last post, these aren't necessarily "bad" guitar solos; they're ones that sound underwhelming or poor in comparison to what the band is capable of. Also similar to the last post, I'll try not to dwell too much on solos I've criticised in previous blog posts but I might slip a couple in just to justify my personal (and this post is largely personal) thoughts on why it's weak.
If you want to listen to each of these songs and their respective solos, scroll to the bottom of the page for an embedded Spotify playlist with each track. I've also included the time the solo starts next to each song title and artist in the list headings in case you just want to listen to the solo whilst reading the post.

1. "(Don't Fear) The Reaper" - Blue Oyster Cult (2:43)

So this is one of the guitar solos I've often criticised on the blog, hence me getting it out of the way first. I love the song and I've talked about how much I love Buck Dharma's guitar playing when it comes to both riffs and solos but I've always thought this song stopped being awesome right after the second chorus. The song's built around an awesome riff and chord progression but once it's time for the solo, the track takes a sharp and awkward turn into a completely different song. It sounds like something they couldn't fit onto another track and chose to tape onto this one...or maybe it was chosen to be a darker twist in the song's melody to signify the song's story about vampires and their victims, although that doesn't excuse it for sounding like dogshit.
Aside from the opening series of notes, there's nothing hugely memorable about the solo and the way it ties into the rest of the track. It doesn't show off technical talent or contain catchy hooks like the song's main riff, it just sounds like Buck's winging it after an imagination drought. It probably could've been improved with more melodic riffs and less dull sustains but it's hard to say, as I feel like I'm conditioned to hate it as soon as the bridge before the solo starts.

2. "Holiday" - Green Day (2:00)

Green Day aren't your typical screeching solo Rock band so I didn't feel like they were an appropriate band for the last blog post. However, since writing the last post, I've realised that Green Day have actually given us a couple of solid solos such as the one from "American Idiot" and "Jesus Of Suburbia". Sure, they're not great in comparison to Zeppelin and Iron Maiden tunes but they work in the songs and showcase some decent guitar playing. "Holiday" has a solo that sounds forced and uninspired, even for Green Day.
It's not quite as bad as simply reciting the vocal melody (we'll get onto that later) but it is far too short and far too simplistic to be considered a good solo, even for the song. It sounds like something that should play under the vocals during the last chorus, not the instrumental break that 90% of Rock songs use to release the energy they've built up throughout the course of the song. But hey, at least the rest of the song's OK, I guess.

3. "Woman From Tokyo" - Deep Purple (4:40)

I was tempted to pick "Smoke On The Water" for this list, as I've always found the solo to be a bit underwhelming in an already dull track. However, upon revisiting it, I realised that it's not actually that "weak" in comparison to the rest of the song. In comparison to other Deep Purple guitar solos, hell yeah it's weak...but then, so's this solo and my God, this solo makes "Smoke On The Water" sound like "Burn". As far as Deep Purple songs go, this one's pretty white bread. Basic riff, bland vocal melody but a good structure. The song plods along until the last minute, where the pianos pick up a bit and a guitar solo's set up...and it sucks.
It's a non-solo, a bit of fluff that sounds like the first part of an actual solo but as it stands, it's just terrible. The obvious improvement to it would be to make it longer but the song's already getting on towards the fifth minute and as I previously said, it's not really anything special. Extending a filler track with no life or character to six minutes is a surefire way to create a forgettable and unnecessary song (just look at some of the band's other tracks for proof). Or just don't include a solo! Not every song needs one and I'd rather it was a tighter package without one than forcing some hollow shit into a passable track.

4. "Californication" - Red Hot Chili Peppers (3:29)

I've said before that Red Hot Chili Peppers are a band that are strongest with softer songs in the Alternative Rock genre rather than heavier Funk based ones. This song is no exception and contains your typical RHCP sound at its finest right up until the solo. It sounds disjointed and out of place, enough to take you right out of the song with its awkward note bends and clashing harmonics. It sounds like a beginner's first attempt at writing a "deep" solo which, for John Frusciante, is the definition of weak.
A solo does work in this song but it needs to have a bit more meat to it than this. It doesn't have to be "Suck My Kiss" but it would benefit from some more melodic work; think the solo from "Cirice" - Ghost, it's competent and feels like the culmination of what the song's been building up to. It doesn't sound like a poor fit or that it's a waste of talent like "Californication" does.

5. "Armageddon It" - Def Leppard (3:12)

One of the lesser known singles off the band's biggest album and with good reason. It's a bog standard tune for Def Leppard from the album that had "Rocket" and "Pour Some Sugar On Me" but it didn't do the band a lot of favours with fans of traditional British Rock as opposed to overproduced American Arena Rock, especially when it came to the guitar solo. The solo itself isn't all that bad; it's a little plain and could easily be longer but musically, it works for the song. The biggest problem with it is the tone.
The solo is played with guitar synthesiser and it sounds fucking naff. This is a good example of when overproducing something can make it worse, as a typical guitar sound instead of synthetic nonsense would've helped steer it away from this blog post. There's also a small guitar solo that fades out with vocals in the outro of this song but again, it's nothing worth getting excited about.

6. "Smells Like Teen Spirit" - Nirvana (2:52)

I've briefly touched upon this solo being pissweak in the past but now I get to retread that ground with the rest of the song to back me up in an embedded Spotify playlist! I get that Nirvana aren't about guitar solos but this song was as commercial as they came and with that means they needed a solo in their song, since they were clearly going for a popular sounding Rock song (presumably one of the subconscious reasons the main riff sounds like a twisted version of the chorus riff from "More Than A Feeling" - Boston). It obviously wasn't going to be a solo full of noise and furious strumming but it does lack any kind of imagination.
I've said it multiple times before and I'll say it again, solos that simply play the vocal melody or chord sequence of the main riff are not good solos. This song literally just plays Cobain's vocals in the verse before giving us another verse! If it was the vocal melody BEFORE a great solo, I would've let it slide for giving us something. Unfortunately, it gets the solo completely wrong but hey, it's one of the most iconic Rock songs in the last half century so I doubt anyone involved in the songwriting process (who's still alive) is crying themselves to sleep over missed opportunities.

7. "All You Need Is Love" - The Beatles (1:18)

This song will always remind me of the final episode of The Prisoner. It had a great use but I never really got into the song due to its overproduction and weak melodies, another fine example of polishing something insubstantial in the hopes it'll become amazing. However, the worst part of the song has to be the pathetic excuse for a guitar solo. If you haven't heard the song in a while and don't recall it sounding offensively bad, I recommend never listening to this song and the solo again as your false memories of a passable solo are better than the original will ever be.
It sounds like a shitty covers band attempting to play the actual solo but messing up all the way through, complete with rough note bends and the guitarist eventually just fucking giving up in the middle of it. These are all signs of a bad solo before you get onto the fact that it's just repeating the opening vocal melody. George Harrison has given us some cracking solos in the past but this takes the absolute piss.

8. "Everybody Wants Some!!" - Van Halen (2:34)

Ah yes, the song that "Panama" made redundant. I think I prefer the guitar riff and chorus for this over "Panama" but God, David Lee Roth didn't make this song pleasantly memorable with his weird sexual improv during the breaks and the delivery of some of his lines in the verses ("I seek a poopoo ladder lookin' for a moopee" is the best I can make out at 1:55). However, if Lee Roth fails, you can always rely on EVH to make a song great, right? Right...just not in this case. Eddie phoned it in when it came to writing a solo and chose to just play a descending note pattern without his trademark tapping or imaginative shredding.
The closest he comes to showcasing some great guitarwork is when he rapidly strums the same notes but even then, it's not much for a man of his talents. I can appreciate that he only has so many guitar solos that are iconic or awesome before the inevitable drought or unintentional recycling of ideas comes in but it's not like this song came out well into the band's career. This song came out before Fair Warning and 1984, albums with fine solos (although "Unchained" is a bit dodgy). Ah well, at least we've always got Lee Roth's one-sided conversation about stockings to enjoy.

9. "Suffocated" - Orianthi (2:23)

I talked about this song in my write-up of the Guitar Hero: Warriors Of Rock soundtrack and whilst my opinion on Orianthi as a musician has changed since I first played that game, my opinion of the song has not. It's generic Pop Rock garbage with utterly soulless shredding crammed in on more than one occasion. In this case, the "solo" is the brief section in between the middle eight and the final chorus where Orianthi showcases her talents as a guitarist but not as a songwriter. I could've picked the "According To You" solo for basically the same reasons except that solo has its place in the song, even though it's the audio equivalent of Orianthi loudly shouting "LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT ME!" (although you could probably say that for most guitar solos in Rock).
No, I went with "Suffocated" because the bland shredding, whining vocals and Pop structure don't blend together at all. If you're one of those teenagers who thinks great guitarists are ones who can fit as many notes into a short space of time as possible without considering the quality of the sound, melody and dynamics, you'll probably think this song's the shit. If you want a solo that tells a story, that feels like it belongs in a piece of music and isn't just taped on for the sake of it, you're better off listening to something else.

10. "Cinnamon Girl" - Neil Young with Crazy Horse (2:06)

I remember seeing this song on a list of amazing guitar solos or something along those lines and to this day, I have no fucking idea why. At least overrated solos like "Comfortably Numb" and "Stairway To Heaven" have some musical creativity and skill behind them. This solo's just the same fucking note over and over again! The rhythm guitar is more active than the lead, for crying out loud. It's lazier than repeating the vocal melody on guitar and it sounds like toss, the only downside to a great Classic Rock track.
I could forgive the terrible solo if the outro went somewhere, as it sounds like the song's going to kick things into the next gear similar to the guitar solo in "Heartbreaker" - Led Zeppelin but nope. That's not the Neil Young way! Instead, it just ends on a strong note shortly after a pissweak one. I don't even need to talk about how the solo could be improved, it just needed more than a couple of notes. Still, the song's still good and the crap solo was enough to inspire a Tenacious D skit on their first album. That's right, this song made them think of "Hard Fucking" because the solo fucks the listener hard in the ears.


I didn't expect that I'd be writing another one of these posts so soon after the first so for all we know, I'll be cracking another one of these out in a week. That or a video game post so you've got that to look forward to.
Until then, here's the Spotify playlist with all the songs listed above.

Showdown: Shared Song Titles

Am I scraping the bottom of the barrel...or am I coming up with creative new posts as a way of introducing you to new music whilst discussing tracks we all know and love/hate/don't particularly care about?
Anyway, this blog post will be looking at two songs with exactly the same title by two completely different Rock/Metal bands. NOTE: these are NOT covers, these are two separate songs with identical titles. I'm not entirely sure why some of these artists choose to name their track after a much more famous song (especially if it's just a filler track on their album) but there are still bands out there with such limited creativity that they just happen to come up with the same combination of words.
Consequently, I won't just be looking at which track I think is superior; I'll also be weighing in on whether I think the copied song title was chosen because the latter band was trying to cash in on the name of a much more popular song or whether they simply picked the same title by accident. Right, let's get listening!

EDIT: Forgot to add this Spotify playlist containing each track (original and cover). Feel free to listen to it as you read my write-ups!


ROUND ONE: Heartbreaker
Led Zeppelin - Released in 1969, this song off Led Zeppelin's second (and best) album is known for its epic guitar riff and funky rhythm, not to mention the literal guitar solo. It's not one of their better known tracks in comparison to songs such as "Stairway To Heaven", "Immigrant Song" and "Whole Lotta Love" but it's definitely one of the better tracks for fans of Riff Based Rock and early 70s Classic Rock. A top song to start with!
Pat Benatar - About 10 years later, Pat We-Don't-Need-No-Menatar released this punchy Hard Rock hit with next to no resemblance to Led Zepp's track despite containing the same title. The track's built more around Pat's vocals than the solid riff but don't assume this isn't a belter on guitar. The song ends on a great guitar solo and proper Rock outro, arguably more suitable for a track with a name as aggressive as "Heartbreaker".
VERDICT - Since the song's title is a single compound word that isn't exactly uncommon, there was clearly no copying going on here (don't worry, this is the only single word track on the list). However, as for which track is the better song in my personal opinion, I'm going with Led Zeppelin. I'll take a badass Classic Rock riff over a mediocre Hard Rock one any day.

ROUND TWO: Young Lust
Pink Floyd - From one Hard Rock track released in 1979 to another! I gave Pink Floyd a lot of shit in my last blog post but this song isn't that bad or, even worse, dull. It's got a good riff, a decent solo that stands out way more than "Comfortably Numb" and a catchy chorus, even if it does sound a little bit more like Pop or, dare I say, Disco than Rock. However, when's all said and done, this is a great track!
Aerosmith - ANOTHER 10 years later, we were given one of Aerosmith's better Hard Rock albums with album opener "Young Lust". Highlights include the footstomping rhythm and the twin guitar action of Perry and Whitford in full force. Tyler's vocals are pretty much peak Aerosmith too with his screams of "YOUNG LUST!" throughout. I'm still undecided as to whether I'm fully on board with it but they haven't got on my nerves yet (although they've come close).
VERDICT - Both songs are good for their own reasons but I'm giving the win to Aerosmith. As I've said countless times, I like my Rock to actually Rock and the latter song easily prevails in that department. As for whether Aerosmith got their name from the former song...I doubt it. Aerosmith's audience was significantly different to Pink Floyd's back then so there's no real reason they'd want to piggyback on the name of a lesser known Pink Floyd song.

ROUND THREE: Money For Nothing
Dire Straits - I love this song and fucking adore the build up at the start with the drum and synth cressendo. I just wish the drums maintained that power after Knopfler's cruising riff as they sound absolutely pissweak for the rest of the song. It goes from stadium to dive bar in a matter of seconds which I guess is appropriate considering the song's lyrics but annoying as a fan of both musical styles. Anyway, this is definitely one of Dire Straits' bigger songs so anyone who knows their Classic Rock should know this song.
Lapko - Uhhhh...fucken who? Lapko are an Alternative Rock band from Finland who clearly didn't get a copy of Brothers In Arms when they visited the record shop for inspiration in 2015. The song's hugely different to the Dire Straits track and sounds like whiny teen Rock. The guitar's OK, I guess. It's got a bit of a kick to it but those vocals sound as weak as the post-intro percussion in the Dire Straits song.
VERDICT - Obviously Dire Straits take the win here. I doubt Lapko took the song's name intentionally but I do think they were oblivious enough to not know about "Money For Nothing".

ROUND FOUR: Shout At The Devil
Motley Crue - One of their most famous songs boasting some heavy riffs, this song could easily be considered Heavy Metal if not for the poor guitar solo and fade-out in the outro. It's still a great song but it feels more chart friendly than some of Motley Crue's better songs. Even so, it's still a good tune to listen to now and then if you want something straightforward from your Hair Metal music.
Diamond Head - I reviewed the new Diamond Head album last October but didn't actually dwell on the fact that they named the second song on the record after one of the most famous Motley Crue songs. I'm not sure why as the song can definitely stand on its own feet. It's arguably not as heavy as the former song, despite belonging to Heavy Metal instead of Hair Metal and being released over 30 years after the Motley Crue single, but it's a decent filler track.
VERDICT - It's got to be Motley Crue again. It's heavier, got more distinct vocals and packs more into three minutes than the Diamond Head does into four. Granted the Diamond Head song has more going on in the guitar department but overall, the Motley Crue track does more to grab your attention. Personally, I think Diamond Head may have known what they were doing when they borrowed the song title. It's not one of their B-sides and it's not a common expression, although it is a film from the late 70s so it could've been inspired by that.

ROUND FIVE: Turn To Stone
Joe Walsh (and Barnstorm) - Joe Walsh has a lot of great material and has been credited with creating (or being largely responsible for) the sound we associate Classic Rock with when he was part of The James Gang. This song is a little slower than their hits and a similar tempo to big singles in Joe Walsh's solo career but overall, it's pretty forgettable. There are lengthy guitar solos but they're all pretty weightless so there aren't many positive aspects to this track. Joe Walsh even rerecorded this song a couple of years later in 1974. Didn't improve it but it does sound a lot cleaner, if you're interested...anyone? Nope, guess I'll move on then.
ELO - This is easily the more famous version of the song. It's got the classic ELO rhythm with plenty of Jeff Lynne and his Beatlesque space-age sound effects and tones throughout. Since it's more of a Pop Rock single, there isn't much to the song other than the verse and chorus combo but thankfully, it's a damn good combo that lasts exactly the right amount of time (approximately three minutes, for future reference). It goes without saying that it's easier on the ears than the Joe Walsh track.
VERDICT - Whilst I prefer the Classic Rock genre to Pop Rock, it has to be ELO who takes the win for this one for reasons previously listed. Since there were a good five years or so between the initial release of Joe Walsh's "Turn To Stone" and ELO's, it's possible that Jeff Lynne may have been inspired by the former track. However, it's equally likely that the idea of turning to stone is a common one that multiple artists can think of without relying on each other. Gosh, this post's really nailing it so far, huh.

ROUND SIX: Don't Stop Me Now
Queen - I think this is quite possibly the first Queen song I ever heard, or at least ever attributed to Queen. It's built almost entirely around the piano and vocal combo with Brian May's guitar only coming in at the short guitar solo before the final chorus, although there is a version of this song that exists with guitar throughout the entire track (it's pretty meh but feel free to check it out!). Luckily, it doesn't need riffs and technical solos to be a fun little track that prove Queen can still knock it out of the park seven albums into their career.
Status Quo - Whilst the previous track was Queen at their best, this one was released around the time Status Quo was at theirs. Vocal harmonies are typical Quo and the guitars are fairly standard for their material too. It's a little bit heavier than some of their signature songs too so fans of bigger Rock bands might enjoy it more than "Sweet Caroline" and "Whatever You Want", although don't expect more than music that's catchy all round.
VERDICT - I really like both songs but the choice is easy. Queen win it for writing what's clearly the more fun Rock song. I find myself listening to their track frequently whenever I want a short but hugely enjoyable burst of music. Whilst it's possible that Status Quo picked this exact combination of words that happened to be popularised by Queen without knowing about the Queen song, I believe it's almost certain that Status Quo knew they were using the same title of a popular Queen track (potentially to sponge a bit of attention), even if it wasn't as popular as it is now thanks to Shaun Of The Dead and...well, Shaun Of The Dead.

ROUND SEVEN: The Way It Is
Bruce Hornsby & The Range - I'm not sure whether Pop Rock, Yacht Rock, Soft Rock or outright Pop is the best way to categorise this song from 1986 but either way, it's one of those tunes that you'll remember once you listen to the opening piano melody or chorus. I'm not sure if Bruce Hornsby ever wrote any songs heavier or more Rock orientated than this but between the emphasis on the lyrics, two piano solos and bass synth, it's a fairly average track that's decent in small doses.
Tesla - As far as 80s Hard Rock love songs go, this one's not bad. Great vocals, solid guitar, memorable if not relatively basic solos and a proper outro. It's no "Cumin' Atcha Live" or "Modern Day Cowboy" but if you like slower tracks that still pack a punch, I'd recommend checking this one out.
VERDICT - I've mostly been favouring the original and more famous tracks so far but I'm inclined to give Tesla the win here. It's no secret that I prefer Rock to Pop but to be honest, I'm not too fussy about the genre as long as the melody's good. The Bruce Hornsby single is good but the Tesla track has more going for it, despite also being a slower song. I can't imagine Tesla stealing the phrase "the way it is" from Bruce Hornsby to make their song more notable, although I reckon at least one member of the band knew of the song before they wrote theirs. However, since it's a fairly common expression, chances are they felt like using the same name was justified.

ROUND EIGHT: Bad Reputation
Thin Lizzy - I'm not sure if it's fair to call this a well known Thin Lizzy song. It's got an album named after it and it was chosen to be in Guitar Hero 2 instead of all the other classic Thin Lizzy tracks yet I feel like it's nothing more than a filler track with a decent solo. This song was released in the late 70s during the period where Thin Lizzy were transitioning from Classic Rock to Hard Rock a few years away from their second transition from Hard Rock to Metal, although this track is definitively Hard Rock.
Joan Jett - Most of you will probably know the cover of this song from the film Shrek but as far as female Punk songs from the 80s go, this one's damn good. It might have a dodgy key change and could do with something to deviate from the same verse/chorus structure (aside from that godawful guitar "solo") but in short bursts, it's a great little "Fuck you" song which is what Punk should be. Plus, Joan Jett's vocals sound just right for the song, unlike the loud, droning atonal shite most female Punk tracks have.
VERDICT - Yeah, Joan Jett takes it here. Compare the two tracks and the Thin Lizzy one just sounds boring, even if I will always prefer Hard Rock on the whole to Punk. Once again, the words "bad reputation" aren't unique enough to make me assume Joan Jett stole them for her own gain and I don't believe she even knew the Thin Lizzy album or track existed when she wrote her song. Besides, Punk bands thought 70s Rock groups were boring and shunned their works in favour of anti-establishment noise so copying one doesn't add up.

ROUND NINE: I'm A Believer
The Monkees - You know what? I like The Monkees. They're not a guilty pleasure or anything like that, they're just a good band in my books. They've got some great Rock tracks for a bubblegum Pop band and whilst this signature song of theirs does sound a little too safe to be "Rock" from that decade, it has a great chorus and a good little solo too; you can thank Neil Diamond for that, as he wrote this song. Oh hey, this song was also covered in Shrek, although this time by Smash Mouth. Small world, huh.
Giant - Back to 1989 with another Hard Rock track, I see. Opening with a passable solo before turning into a Bon Jovi song, "I'm A Believer" by Giant sounds nothing like The Monkees' hit and, therefore, reached nowhere near the same amount of success. It's an OK track too but I feel like naming it the same as a much more popular tune likely did more harm than good, as there's a line between piggybacking and dooming yourself that this song strides across, especially since most of the lesser known previous shared song titles belong to filler tracks as opposed to hit singles.
VERDICT - Well, to be fair to Giant, it's not a bad track. A little bland and too similar to much greater Hard Rock bands of the time but I don't mind listening to it. That doesn't mean it takes the win, though. The Monkees clear this one and I'm pretty sure at least one member of the band or producer knew about their song before entering the studio, hence why none of you know about Giant. Nice choice of band name too, fellas. Definitely didn't tempt fate there.

ROUND TEN: Danger Zone
Rainbow - Believe it or not, even this wasn't the first Rock song named "Danger Zone". Quiet Riot recorded one for the Metal Health album but I'm not entirely sure when that was released, as I'm pretty sure it wasn't on the original album. The Rainbow track, however, was and that came out in 1979. It's built around a pretty sweet riff (what else from Blackmore?) and Bonnet's vocals make this track great to Rock out to as well. However, I think we all know what's coming next so let's just cut to the chase, shall we?
Kenny Loggins - Song from Top Gun, classic chorus, simplistic guitar, awesome solo, fucking rocks, 'nuff said.
VERDICT - If you're ever faced with this decision and you pick anyone other than Kenny Loggins, your opinion is not valid. Pick another shared song title for your bullshit "I'm smart because I don't conform to popular opinion" hot take, The Log Dog will always win when you're in the Danger Zone!


I found quite a few songs with shared song titles so expect another one of these posts a few months or so from now. Likewise, if you have any requests for songs to be included in said post, let me know in the comments or via Twitter.

Showdown: Homages/Rip Offs 5

Yep, looks like there are more songs that sound sort of similar to each other! This time, instead of comparing two different songs by two different bands, I'm looking at comparisons by the same artist. This is a rule I've followed whilst making all the previous Homages/Rip Offs posts but for the fifth edition, I've decided to mix it up a bit. Did bands want to pay homage to their popular material or did they run out of inspiration and unintentionally (or intentionally?) copy some of their earlier work?
There are several posts online about bands that all sound the same and it would've been easy for me to scour them and pick a bunch of tunes out. However, whilst this post does contain some well known bands that are historically adept at releasing the same album over and over, it also contains a few of my own picks that I've heard over the years. It should also be noted that this post (and all previous/future ones) are the work of opinion. Despite my language, I'm not categorically stating that a band did rip themselves or anyone else off. Right then, let's get started!

EDIT: Forgot to add a Spotify playlist containing each song (original and cover) at the bottom of this post. Feel free to listen to it as you read my write-ups!

ROUND ONE: Stevie Ray Vaughan vs. Stevie Ray Vaughan
Pride And Joy - I fucking hate this song. Generic Blues played by an incredible guitarist is still boring as fuck and no talented fretwork can save that. This song has it all: bland Blues chord progression, uninspired lyrics, forgettable solos and the rest of the band doing fuck all of merit. The final turd on this shit mountain is that the song came out in the 80s, just under thirty years after the rest of the music scene realised Blues Rock was getting a little stale. For some reason, it's a fairly well known song in the world of Rock but not many people know about the next track.
I'm Cryin' - It's the same fucking song. The exact same structure with the same bland guitar solos off the same fucking album. Don't get me wrong, there are some belters on the Texas Flood album but was SRV so unimaginative that he couldn't even write a different melody for his band to fill one more space on the setlist? Some might defend this track by mistaking it for a reprise but they need to realise that this is an entirely different song created by SRV just before the end of the album. I can understand one of these songs existing, not both.
VERDICT - The fact that both songs are more or less identical (right down to the outro) makes me think this can't be lazy songwriting. It feels to me like this is a really stupid attempt at a Homage but even if you like "Pride And Joy", why the hell would anyone want the same song twice but rehashed with new lyrics and a few tweaked solos? If you're going to copy yourself as blatantly as SRV did here, either pull a Bon Jovi and change it enough so that it is a new song ("Blaze Of Glory" is a rewritten "Wanted Dead Or Alive") or wait a couple of years to rerecord/remix it.

ROUND TWO: ZZ Top vs. ZZ Top
Got Me Under Pressure - You could probably argue that a song as average as this could be compared to lots of ZZ Top songs, since they weren't exactly the strongest bands when it came to Riff Based Rock or even technical work. They just released solid Southern/Blues Rock and whilst this isn't one of the best songs off Eliminator, it's a decent little tune with a notable little riff in the chorus. It's that riff that we're paying attention to for this next song.
Planet Of Women - Same tempo? More or less. Same sound? Yup. Same song? No. There are enough differences in the intros for both songs to justify their existence...until the verse starts and that familiar little riff comes in again. It took me a few listens when I first heard these songs to realise that ZZ Top had repackaged that melody but once you play them side by side, the similarities are undeniable.
VERDICT - Oh this is a Rip Off. As I said earlier, ZZ Top aren't the greatest songwriters and I can imagine their desire to replicate the success of Eliminator with their follow up, Afterburner, may have led to a bit of cheeky riff pinching. To say these albums were released consecutively, it's no wonder ZZ Top are relying on their greatest hits nowadays.

ROUND THREE: Disturbed vs. Disturbed
Indestructible - Disturbed are one of those bands that manage to get away with releasing the same material over and over again so really, I could've picked any two songs for this list. As a result, I've chosen one of their popular songs that contains their typical rhythm and riffing combined with stabbing vocals in sync with the percussion.
The Vengeful One - OK, so the drum intro is a bit different but as soon as that guitar comes in, you know it's a Disturbed song. I should say that whilst the comparisons are clear, these songs are still great. You can argue "if it ain't broke, don't fix it" but to me, the best songs Disturbed released are the ones that broke the mold. "Perfect Insanity" and "The Infection" still sound like Disturbed but they don't rely on the standard Disturbed rhythm, if that makes sense.
VERDICT - It's a tricky decision as I feel like both Homage and Rip Off could apply here. On the one hand, Disturbed clearly have a sound that they're trying to recreate with their singles but on the other, it's kind of lazy to listen to the same rhythm time after time after time. If I had to choose one, I'm going with Homage as I imagine it's a case of "if it ain't broke, don't fix it" rather than poor songwriting. The fact that they can still record covers like "The Sound Of Silence" shows they are willing to try new material out but they also want to make music for their fans.

ROUND FOUR: The Kinks vs. The Kinks
All Day And All Of The Night - I prefer this song to "You Really Got Me". Better riff and better solo, even if the other song's a bit heavier. It's a standard riff that carries the entire song but thankfully the band were great enough to add some strong vocals into the mix too. As far as 60s Garage Rock goes, it's pretty damn good. Problem is The Kinks are one of those bands that were strongest in their youth and by the time the 80s rolled around, the pool of ideas was a little shallow.
Destroyer - This song starts off alright but it doesn't take long until the riff from "All Day And All Of The Night" creeps in. Not only that but the vocal melody from the former song's chorus is copied almost identically in the bridge before the chorus (albeit with different lyrics). If you haven't heard "Destroyer" but like "All Day And All Of The Night", I'd recommend giving it a listen as it's still a good tune.
VERDICT - The Kinks have acknowledged that "Destroyer" is a Homage to their previous work, especially since the song contains lyrics about Lola. It's a shame that the riff pretty much had to carry this song but there are worse songs The Kinks could've turned to for inspiration, like "Waterloo Sunset".

ROUND FIVE: Ramones vs. Ramones
Blitzkrieg Bop - Another band that released one incredible track and fucking coasted on it for the majority of their career. Punchy rhythm, monotone vocals and lots of chords; all staples of a good Ramones song. Ramones might be one of Punk's greatest icons but when you compare their material to what Punk stood for, it all sounds a bit tame. It's also quite telling that this song is used in adverts for a company that sells kitchen supplies now, further proof that Punk is and always will be a joke genre.
Rockaway Beach - Whilst all the standard Punk tropes are there, I think I prefer this song to "Blitzkrieg Bop". The verse and chorus may be mediocre but there's a little bridge that contains an awesome riff, one that a better band would've turned into a backing melody underneath a guitar solo.
VERDICT - Once again, I could've picked any song by the Ramones to compare to "Blitzkrieg Bop"...except some of their stuff from the late 80s that nobody really cared about, but all their hits stem from one popular song so I reckon that's a good cause for the Rip Off label. At least Ramones had some positive influence on the world, as they were a big inspiration to Lemmy. Speaking of Lemmy...

ROUND SIX: Motorhead vs. Motorhead
Ace Of Spades - Motorhead's most famous song and, as always, not one of their best. However, it is generally the song that everyone compares the band's other material to. Fast tempo, furious bass, grumbling vocals and relatively forgettable guitar solos. It's a good song that acts as a test for whether or not Motorhead are the band for you but it's important to note there are other songs in the band's discography that are even better with all the same beats.
Iron Fist - Such as this one! I think I've talked about this track on the blog before when discussing rerecordings (as the 2008 version used for Guitar Hero: World Tour DLC has much better guitar AND it doesn't fade out!) but if I'm comparing it to "Ace Of Spades", I will say that the solos are probably stronger in this track. The guitar melody might be a little bit better in "Ace Of Spades" but I love the chorus for this song. If I really took each song apart, I'd probably come to the conclusion that I love both songs equally but until that day, "Iron Fist" is my favourite.
VERDICT - Unlike Ramones and Disturbed, Motorhead were never about releasing hits. Lemmy just wanted to play Rock & Roll and each album reflects that. Granted most albums are pretty fucking similar, almost to an AC/DC level, but I reckon Homage best describes this comparison. Lemmy wrote music that he wanted to play for people who wanted to listen to it, hence the band's typical sound.

ROUND SEVEN: Cheap Trick vs. Cheap Trick
I Want You To Want Me - Another song I discussed in a previous post (live versions)! You don't need to hear me talk about it again; blah blah bubblegum Rock blah blah At Budokan is better. What we're listening to here is the bouncy rhythm and the song's title. I'd tell you to commit them to memory but since you're reading the text in front of you, your hippocampus can sit this one out.
How Are You? - Once the soft piano intro has passed, the bouncy rhythm kicks in. To me, this in itself doesn't warrant a valid comparison but about two thirds of the way through, Robin Zander sings "I want you, need you, love you, want you to want me", even throwing in "remember?" before the next line. Cheap Trick knew that this song had similarities to one of their biggest hits and not only carried on regardless but went ahead and shined a light on it. A ballsy move but does it pay off?
VERDICT - To me, yes. "How Are You?" is a much better song that feels like the band's second studio attempt at "I Want You To Want Me" before they rerecorded the whole of In Color anyway. However, there are still many, many differences between both songs so I don't think it's a simple Homage. I think the band added the aforementioned lyrical reference after the song was written as a way of lampshading their Rip Off. Still a great song, though.

ROUND EIGHT: Rise Against vs. Rise Against
Prayer Of The Refugee - I have no idea why this band are so fucking popular. It's angsty teen Rock that sounds heavier/better than angsty teen Rock but worse than actual Rock. Anyway, Rise Against are another band that the Internet reckoned were guilty of releasing structurally identical songs between albums and after listening to a few choice tunes, I'm inclined to agree. This song starts off slow but kicks it up a notch during the chorus with heavier guitar, screaming vocals and a faster tempo (not to mention a shit guitar solo).
Savior - Slow intro, increased tempo with heavier guitars, screeching/"more passionate" vocals as the song progresses and generally dull guitar throughout. I guess this music is closer to what Punk should be rather than the Ramones but it still feels a little too "stadium" to me. The structure is too well composed to represent the voice of a rebellious generation; it sounds like music written to sell shirts and arena tickets to teenagers, defeating the entire purpose of Punk. But enough ranting, let's look at the verdict.
VERDICT - Basing my decision off the same reasons as previous entries, I feel like Rise Against deserve the label Homage here. I may not care for their music but this is a clear case of the band that's found its perfect style and is running with it, not one that's musically uninspired.

ROUND NINE: Ozzy Osbourne vs. Ozzy Osbourne
Crazy Train - I'll admit that this comparison is probably just me but I'm interested to see if anyone else agrees. "Crazy Train" is easily Ozzy's most popular song and whilst I'm not a fan of it personally due to Randy Rhoads' crappy solo/Ozzy's rubbish vocal melody in the chorus, I fucking love the main riff and can appreciate why people adore this song. However, the style of guitar playing in the verse might sound familiar to people who've listened to Ozzy's later work. Lots of strumming punctuated by the odd chord.
Bark At The Moon - I chose this track to compare but honestly, there are a bunch I could've picked. "I Don't Know", "Miracle Man", "Over The Mountain", "Let Me Hear You Scream"; all released across a variety of albums but all containing that similar guitar rhythm. This is probably one of the reasons why I feel Ozzy's a little bit overrated as a Metal artist; some of his stuff's great but it also feels like he's trying to recreate "Crazy Train" over and over.
VERDICT - It might just be that Ozzy likes songs with that particular rhythm or it might be that there's only so much creativity the Prince Of Darkness has. Either way, I'm going with Rip Off on this one as each track stands far enough apart from each other to rule out the possibility of Homages. That's my theory and I know it's probably an unpopular one...so I'll end this post with one that the Internet has unanimously agreed on.

ROUND TEN: Nickelback vs. Nickelback
How You Remind Me - I don't completely subscribe to the herd mentality that Nickelback are the worst band in the world but I will admit to fucking despising this song. It's as bland, safe and generic as you can get in the world of Rock with no redeeming features. A strong statement but I'm not the only one who thinks so; there was a story a while ago about a man who realised that "How You Remind Me" and the next song contain the exact same structure and sound, putting his findings on the Internet to the delight of millions of anti-fans.
Someday - Listening to this song on its own is dull enough but when you compare it to the former track, the comparisons just keep on coming. Same beats, same sound, same performance from every member of the band. Both tracks even end with a solitary guitar outro too, which is usually the final piece of evidence I require. Nickelback have commented on the similarities, claiming that their music will sound the same because they write all their songs with the same goal in mind or some horseshit, but I don't think they could've said anything to save themselves from the online mockery.
VERDICT - Nickelback have released plenty of songs that hail from the same dull cosmos of Rock/Wood but sound different so it's a little suspicious that these two songs have the same structure as well as the same sound. I'm going with Rip Off here but not because I don't like Nickelback (you can judge me all you want but "Burn It To The Ground" fucking rocks).


I might write another post of Homages/Rip Offs by the same artists in the months to come so if you have any recommendations, let me know. The only thing I will say is that I'm not looking for similar songs by different bands with at least one member that's the same, e.g. Richie Blackmore in Deep Purple and Rainbow with guitar solos in "Stormbringer" and "Stargazer".
Anyway, here's the Spotify playlist if you fancy hearing each song as you read/reread this post!

Tenology: Massive Morellos/MacArthur Parks In Rock/Metal

I'm back! Apologies for the delay in posting but I needed more time to put this list together.
If you're confused by what I mean when I say "Massive Morello/MacArthur Park", you clearly haven't read my Rock Glossary or Absolute Axls blog posts. No worries though, I've got you covered!
A MacArthur Park (or Morello) is a fantastically brilliant factor of a song that stops it from being terrible. For example, the song could have dire lyrics, a boring riff, mediocre performances and go on for seven minutes...BUT at the six minute mark, there's an absolutely amazing guitar solo that blows everything else away and makes the song worth listening to. That right there is a MacArthur Park/Morello!
Anyway, to celebrate what I hope to fucking God is going to be a more positive year than 2016, I've decided to open with a blog post about 10 rubbish songs with one awesome thing about them that stops the songs from being made of absolute suck. Obviously this post is going to be a little divisive with my definitions of what makes a song suck so I tried to choose a mix of tracks that I personally dislike and tracks that are renowned for being hated or disliked by band members and/or the Rock community. I've also tried to find ten different types of MacArthur Park/Morello so it's not just a blog post of eight amazing solos and a couple of great riffs.
Right then, let's get some positivity up in here!


1. "Bawitdaba" - Kid Rock

MaP/M: Verse

To think, without this song he may never have had the chance to coast off Warren Zevon & Lynyrd Skynyrd

Kicking this list off is an artist whom many Rock, Metal, Rap and even just general audio fans despise. Aside from being a Trump supporter and, by extension, a massive asshole, his music is fucking terrible. This song helped shoot him into the mainstream with its combination of Hip Hop and Metal elements that at the time was amazing and not at all tacky like we've come to realise it is now. So what possible factor could redeem this song with a chorus spouting nonsensical lyrics and shitty riffs? In my opinion, the music in the verse.

You'll probably hear me use this argument quite a few times in this post because it's the only way I can really drive it home but if you plucked the guitar and bass riffs from the verses in this song and placed them into a different 90s Metal track with a more talented songwriter/vocalist, they'd sound pretty awesome. I wouldn't call this a good song but at least I don't hate it during those brief moments between diggy-diggy sessions.

2. "Maggie May" - Rod Stewart

MaP/M: Intro up until vocals

Once you get past the album cover, it's actually a pretty good record

Definitely a personal entry on this list. I've always hated this song but never exactly known why, although if I had to pinpoint reasons then I'd probably go with Rod. I can't stand his vocals in this (and more or less every other song he's done) and as soon as he sings "Wake up Maggie", I feel like shutting it off immediately. That being said, if you listen to the album version then you'll hear a lovely little acoustic introduction shortly before the main riff starts. That alone gives me some pleasure when I hear this song now and then but as soon as it gets to the 46 second mark, I'm done.

I suppose the melody throughout the rest of the song isn't bad but when you compare this to "You Wear It Well", a much better Rod Stewart song with softer vocals and better lyrics that sounds incredibly similar, this track has nothing but a lovely introduction to keep me enticed. Granted this song came out first but since they were only about a year apart, this feels more like a fleshed out demo for "You Wear It Well" than a song that deserves acclaim...but that's just my opinion.

3. "Shiny Happy People" - R.E.M.

MaP/M: Main riff

Cards on the table, I don't think this is that bad of a song

This song has pretty much been disowned by the band and if they hadn't included it on a compilation from a few years ago, I'd say that they wanted to bury it. It's basically their "Smells Like Teen Spirit"; a popular song that doesn't truly represent their overall sound or image. Whilst it might not be as bad as some of the entries on this list, I'm guessing that hardcore R.E.M. fans hate it as much as Michael Stipe for the same reasons and when it comes from the same album as "Losing My Religion", it's not going to make any respectable "Best Songs Of 1991" list.

However, you can't argue that this song is based around a pretty solid riff. In fact, no, not "pretty solid". It's a damn good one! Take this riff, swap it with the one for "Pop Song 89", tweak the key & tempo of each song a bit and they'd both still work. It's the rest of the song that lets itself down but it's also this riff that makes "Shiny Happy People" an OK track.

4. "Cemetery Gates" - Pantera

MaP/M: Vinnie Paul

Wish me luck with explaining this one, folks

If you hadn't twigged it by now, I'm alternating between unpopular songs and personal choices so don't bother telling me that "Cemetery Gates" is a fan favourite and one of the best songs off Cowboys From Hell. I used to quite like this song but after multiple listens, I think I fucking hate it now. The chorus riff sounds absolutely pissawful, the vocals aren't much to be desired (with each "GAAAAIIIIIIITES" in the outro, a child in Malaysia dies) and to me, it sounds like Pantera trying to have their own "Fade To Black" moment. I would call it an utter write-off except I can't help but enjoy the few moments in the song when the tempo picks up a bit and the drumming makes everything else work.

I'm not usually a fan of the percussion and playing style in Pantera songs but it's easily the highlight of this song for me. Yes, it has a solid solo and yes, the intro melody is alright but without the rhythm, this would be just another poor Metal power ballad. I suppose this song shouldn't really be here if the drumming isn't the only positive factor but in my eyes, it's the only thing in this song that makes it avoid the pit of turds that practically every other Pantera track falls into.

5. "Rockstar" - Nickelback

MaP/M: Lyrics

Took me four songs before I got Nickelback, must be some kind of record

Ahh Nickelback, the Internet's favourite musical whipping boy. We've reached the point now where some people are starting to argue that Nickelback don't actually suck that much and if you want to know my opinion, it's this; they're a bit crap. I like some tracks like "When We Stand Together" and "Burn It To The Ground" but for the most part, their songs are generic Rock for teenage girls and other people who don't really get what Rock's about. One of their most popular songs is "Rockstar" and whilst it made a big splash when it first came out, people now use this as a reason for hating Nickelback along with their other signature songs "How You Remind Me" and "Photograph".

I'm ashamed to admit that I was one of those people who got caught up in this song when it first came out but now that I've listened to actual Rock music in more detail, I can't say I'm a fan. What I will say is that the lyrics are still the song's best attribute as it goes through all the tropes and stereotypes of being a brash Rock star who wants it all whilst conveying the laid-back mood of the character telling us about his ambitions. You can argue that they're not the best lyrics of the genre or even year but that's not what I'm saying; the lyrics work for the song, they're enjoyable to listen to if you can look past the fact that it's Nickelback behind them and most importantly, they're not bad.

6. "Pretty Fly (For A White Guy)" - The Offspring

MaP/M: Chorus

Boy, the 90s are taking a fucking pounding in this post

I like The Offspring but goddamn, this song sucks. From the "Rock Of Ages" lift at the start to the gratuitous use of "Give it to me baby!" throughout, this track should cause each member of the band embarrassment every time they hear it, and keep in mind The Offspring have released songs like "Don't Pick It Up" in the past. Fortunately, the chorus makes up for the rest of the song.

The guitar riffs and vocals are classic Offspring material that pisses all over everything else this song has to offer and the acid test of whether the MacArthur Park/Morello works just as well in another song without the smell of this one lingering around pays off too; imagine this chorus with "Come Out And Play" off Smash which shouldn't be too hard as the verses for both tracks are basically the same, only this one's worse. It's a shame this song is one of the band's more popular tunes but thankfully, it's also a laughably terrible tune that stains the 90s Pop Punk genre. Yep, it's fucking bad even by those standards.

7. "Rollin' (Air Raid Vehicle)" - Limp Bizkit

MaP/M: "Keep rollin', rollin', rollin', rollin'"

I can feel myself getting dumber as I listen to this song for research purposes

Talking about how crap this Nu-Metal song from 2000 is ad nauseam would be like ranting about the weak quality of a blind man's round on Draw Something so I'll just say this: it sounds worse than the band's name and album's name combined into one glorious fucking tumour of a title. I think anyone with ears and clothes that fit them will agree when I say Limp Bizkit deserves to be wiped off the surface of history like an accidental drop of snot that lands on the back of your hand when you sigh but if I could salvage one contribution of theirs before going back in time and giving Fred Durst's mum a condom (or copy of this album, which is probably a more reliable contraceptive), it'd be the use of the word "rolling".

Some critics and bloggers argue that it's that word repeated during the chorus that makes this song so unbearable but I'd claim it's the exact opposite. Everything in this song is bad except "keep rollin', rollin', rollin', rollin'" which could work in a modern Metal track. Don't believe me? Listen to 10 seconds of this song from 2:55 to 3:05 when it's just those words without music; doesn't sound as bad, right? I mean, it's hardly the "Shiny Happy People" riff but that'd be the one Limp Bizkit possession I'd save from a burning building...that I intentionally set ablaze with oil and hellfire.

8. "Space Oddity" - David Bowie

MaP/M: Bridge

Aaaaaaand we're back to my unpopular opinions

I don't care about how he was so fucking ahead of his time or how amazing of a human being he was, I fucking despise this song. It's so fucking dreary and overplayed, everyone seems to cum in their drawers every time they hear the first couple of lines and the rest of the song gets even fucking worse. It's like listening to someone slowly reading song lyrics, that's how fucking boring it is. Compare it to something like "Rocket Man" - Elton John, another slow Rock song about the isolation of space travel, and it might as well be an experimental B-side.

The only thing I look forward to when I'm forced to listen to this (which isn't often but not an impossibility) is a certain guitar riff that plays twice during the song. It only lasts six seconds and it can be heard at 2:37 and 4:09. It sounds like something that would play just before a song increases the tempo, gets going and becomes interesting. What happens in this track? Oh, it's just more of the same trippy shit, hooray! You could probably get a good couple of minutes out of that riff during the bridge if they added more drums, maybe a guitar solo and changed the entire structure of the song. If that happened, this song wouldn't be on this list and David Bowie probably wouldn't have been the visionary musician everyone saw him as. When you put it like that, I guess it's a fair trade.

9. "Hotel California" - Eagles

MaP/M: Solo

Yeah, I thought this song was well loved too

After doing some research into "bad Rock songs", I came to a startling conclusion; people really don't like the Eagles. I've known that they're not everyone's favourite band (especially not The Dude's) but judging by the hatred for this band's back catalogue and this song in particular, it would seem that the Eagles were basically the Nickelback of the 70s. Whilst there are several Eagles songs I really enjoy listening to, I can't deny that I fucking hate their most famous song and thankfully, so do several critics/bloggers.

I've talked about it on this blog before but in short, it's basically what I imagine growing old would sound like if you could convert it into an .mp3 file. That being said, it's known for having a great guitar solo at the end and whilst it's not on my top 10 or even 20 list of amazing solos, I can't deny that it is a fine piece of guitarwork. It makes the previous four minutes almost worth listening to although another way of making this song bearable is by speeding it up 25%. Trust me, it sounds better.

10. "We Built This City" - Starship

MaP/M: Vocal solo

Someone needs to remind these guys that they're not Genesis

The final song on this list is quite possibly the single-most hated Rock song from the 20th century. Even Grace Slick, vocalist on the song, has tried to distance herself from it and people have written entire essays dedicated entirely to why this song is terrible. Despite this negative press, I still think the song's alright. It's not something I'd choose to listen to but I can tolerate it when it's on, even if it's musically simplistic and lacking in the lyrics department.

It's hard to pinpoint one great moment from a bad song that you generally like but the part of "We Built This City" that I actually enjoy listening to is the small vocal solo towards the end that's read by a news anchor. It's insignificant and easily forgettable but the quick delivery of the vocals and way it fits in with the music makes it a highlight for me. Everything else in this song is average to rubbish but hey, I wouldn't call it the worst song in Rock.

Did you agree with my choices? Are there other terrible songs with redeeming factors or am I being too fair on some of these tracks? Let me know in the comments or via Twitter and hopefully this positive post will help create a great year...or not...probably not.

Taster Session #6

Back for another post and this time, it's a long one!
Previous Taster Session posts usually consist of me discussing five songs from albums coming out within the year before ultimately deciding whether I want to listen to the whole album based on that single. This time, I'm doing something a little different! Since we're coming up to the end of 2016 and there are still many, many, MANY albums I haven't listened to yet from this year, I thought it might be fun to look back over Rock/Metal releases that I haven't covered on the blog and listen to singles from those albums before deciding whether I should visit or review them.
However, after researching album releases for 2016, it turns out there were actually quite a few Rock/Metal albums that I haven't listened to and would consider discussing on here. 12, to be exact. As a result, instead of choosing five to discuss, I'm going to discuss ALL 12 OF THEM! Handy really, as it means I'll be writing about one track for every month of this absolute 9/11 of a year (although not every track/album came out across all 12 months).
So without further ado, let's listen to music I should've listened to months ago when everyone else was excited about it!

"Lazarus" - David Bowie         (listen here)
From the album Blackstar (08/01/16)

Remember when Bowie died and everyone thought that would be the shittest thing about this year? Anyway, even though "Lazarus" isn't the lead single off the album, I chose this because it's the song that everyone talked about after his death. I mean, I can't think why, it's not like the song's lyrics or tone have any kind of connection to mortality and anyone who can find a link must be some kind of genius capable of writing the best thinkpieces in all the land!
As for the song itself, I'm no fan but it's not bad. It's gloomy but appropriately so and even though you can call it depressing or morbid, there's a certain kind of bittersweet feeling you get from a well written "sad song" that, thankfully, "Lazarus" successfully pulls off. One good thing I will say about Bowie is that his voice definitely improved over time. He didn't suffer puberty like other Rock vocalists but it became less goofy and more mature, although you could argue that was the result of him dropping the Ziggy persona. I won't be listening to Blackstar anytime soon but I do intend to listen to some Bowie albums from the 70s, the decade where I feel his music had the most value. Speaking of artists who wrote a few great songs in the 70s but sodall else...


"Gardenia" - Iggy Pop         (listen here)
From the album Post Pop Depression (18/03/16)

Jesus, I can tell you right now that I won't be listening to this album. I remember hearing this track earlier this year and being incredibly bored by it then but I still decided to revisit it here due to it being the lead single off this album. You might ask why I'd consider listening to this album if I clearly have a preconceived dislike of Iggy Pop but that's not necessarily true. I think Iggy has some great songs that aren't "Lust For Life" or "The Passenger" (my fave of his is "Billy Is A Runaway") but for the most part, his material is a bunch of wank; I'm willing to be proven wrong but sadly, this song isn't the evidence I need.
I mean, come on, can we really call it an Iggy Pop track when it's basically just another product of a Josh Homme project with Iggy on vocals? Unlike Bowie's single, this just sounds dreary and repetitive. It's not even a shit song that grows on you over time, I've had a year to take this in and I still fucking hate it. I fundamentally believe Iggy Pop is an overrated Rock artist but hey, if you like Bowie's new material then you'll probably cum over this.


"No Direction Home" - Cheap Trick         (listen here)
From the album Bang, Zoom, Crazy... Hello (01/04/16)

Yeah, Cheap Trick released an album this year. I actually listened to about seven tracks of it before giving up. It wasn't terrible, it was just a bit bland for me. Cheap Trick have proven they can release great Rock songs ("Stiff Competition", "He's A Whore", "Clock Strikes Ten") and even solid modern tracks ("Sick Man Of Europe") but this single is just a bit too average for me to rate it highly. If you like Cheap Trick's sound, give it a listen as it's an enjoyable basic Rock song.
One day, I might complete Bang, Zoom, Crazy... Hello just to say I've listened to the album as I recall enjoying the first few songs but losing interest after the halfway point. As for "No Direction Home", it's OK. It also sounds like it unintentionally borrows ideas from "I Can't Explain" - The Who and "Fly By Night" - Rush. Can you hear the similarities in the music or am I just going mental? I mean, I am basically talking to myself so there's evidence for the latter...MOVING ON!


"Thank God For Girls" - Weezer         (listen here)
From the album Weezer (01/04/16)

Yup, Weezer released an album too. I can't say I'll listen to it as I have next to no interest in Weezer's full albums but I do like some of their songs. This track's alright although I can't say I enjoy it as much as their more Rock based songs; stuff off Weezer and a few tracks off Weezer, ya know (can you guess the colours?)? As an outsider who isn't part of the Weezer fanbase, I'm glad they've still remained a Rock band and haven't pulled a Muse, Kings Of Leon or Coldplay.
However, their sound is a bit too immature for me. No matter what they release, it'll always sound like it should be played as background music to teenagers being dropped off at high school during the opening scene of a film about how hard it is to be young and plagued with constant insecurity and erections. Still, at least their music always has energy to it, unlike the next artist.


"Can't Let You Do It" - Eric Clapton         (listen here)
From the album I Still Do (20/05/16)

I remember being tempted to actually listen to and discuss this album in a review when it came out. Can you fucking imagine that?! Anyway, this album features songs written by a string of Blues artists and creatively assembled by Eric Boring Clapton. I'm not sure whether it fits more into covers album or studio album but this song is definitely a new one. I believe it was the lead single and even though J.J. Cale never released it as a solo artist, he wrote it for Eric Clapton. Compared to some of his other tracks, it's got a bit of life in it. However, it's important to remember that Clapton is recording it so as a result, it's still fucking dull.
There is one advantage to Eric Clapton's career; it's given me an appreciation of J.J. Cale, as I probably wouldn't have bothered to check his material out if I only knew about him from Lynyrd Skynyrd's cover of "Call Me The Breeze". I've heard Clapton cover that song, "After Midnight" and "Cocaine" and all three of them are shite compared to Cale's versions so yeah, screw Eric Boring Clapton and screw this album.


"Beautiful Broken" - Heart         (listen here)
From the album Beautiful Broken (08/07/16)

Fun fact: this song was actually released in 2012 on a deluxe edition of a previous album and compared to this version, it sounds like a cruddy demo recording. The mix is a lot stronger and the guitars are noticeably heavier, probably down to the inclusion of James Hetfield (Metallica) as a guest musician on this track. Again, you could argue that this isn't really a new studio album if it's just a bunch of rerecordings thrown in with a few new songs. However, what you can't argue with is that this track is great and much better than the original.
I'm tempted to give this album a listen if the rest of Beautiful Broken is this strong, seeing as how they chose to make this rerecording of a deluxe edition extra the album opener, lead single and title track. Whether or not I'll review the album is yet to be decided but I think based on this initial taster, I'm inclined to give Heart the benefit of the doubt and tuck into the rest of this record at a later date.


"Show Me A Leader" - Alter Bridge         (listen here)
From the album The Last Hero (07/10/16)

I don't know why I don't listen to more Alter Bridge, as they have almost everything that I love about Hard Rock/Metal. It might be down to the fact that whilst I think I've enjoyed every song I've heard by the band, I don't really love any of them. This track follows the same patterns, as I like the riffs and chorus but I doubt I'll buy the track as it's just missing something that clicks with me. However, if you like your Rock heavy, check this song out. It starts off with a solid little introduction that still leaves something to the imagination and remains strong until the end.
I haven't listened to any Alter Bridge albums yet but maybe this will be the first I check out, as I thought this song was good. If you feel like you understand what I like and dislike in Rock/Metal, feel free to recommend any other songs/albums by Alter Bridge via Twitter or the comments section too.


"Bang Bang" - Green Day         (listen here)
From the album Revolution Radio (07/10/16)

Right off the bat, this song sounds a hell of a lot like "Girl's Not Grey" - AFI, which is a great thing. Then, just like every other Green Day song that could otherwise be salvaged, Billie Joe Armstrong opens his mouth and it all falls to shit. Admittedly, he sounds a bit less obnoxious in this song but hopefully he'll hit Rock puberty soon and won't sound like he's doing this in between studying for his midterms. As soon as that happens, I'm all up for giving Green Day a chance as musically, they're alright.
This song's quite good and after catching a brief listen of the title track, "Revolution Radio", I found myself enjoying what I heard too (after tuning out BJ's voice). You know what? I might just give this album a listen one day. If I can stomach Guns N' Roses after realising that Axl's a terrible fucking vocalist, maybe I can do the same for Green Day. Mind you, it'll be a fuckton harder if they continue to remain a Pop Punk band unlike other groups from the 90s who made the successful transition into full on Alternative or just plain Rock.


"The Stage" - Avenged Sevenfold         (listen here)
From the album The Stage (28/10/16)

Another album where I'm discussing the album opener, lead single and title track. Fortunately, Avenged Sevenfold have a decent track record so you don't have much to worry about. They're going through the Metal motions to the point that they're starting to become more progressive (musically and lyrically with themes about mankind and the universe) and even though they're going through a Spinal Tap situation regarding their drummers, it still sounds like A7X. However, the fact that their song of choice to be the album opener, lead single and title track is over eight minutes long makes it a bit of a slog to sit through.
The band remember their roots and dedicate a minute in the middle to become Sensitive Avenged Sevenfold, similar to "Master Of Puppets" - Metallica in that there's no real payoff to the build-up. However, that's eight-minute Metal for you. I'd recommend this if you like Avenged Sevenfold as the music is tight and the band still have "it". I'm personally torn as to whether or not I want to choose this as my first A7X album and might opt instead for City Of Evil before giving this a try if I'm feeling adventurous enough.


"Brotherhood Of The Snake" - Testament         (listen here)
From the album Brotherhood Of The Snake (28/10/16)

I have a mixed opinion of Testament. They're often considered the fifth band of The Big Four (of Thrash Metal) and whilst I like some of their material, their albums that I've listened to (Souls Of Black and The Ritual) have ranged from alright to shite. Since their early days, their sound has become a lot heavier and their music a lot more aggressive to the point where they sound more like a modern Metal band than an 80s/90s Thrash one. If you like your Metal angry and powerful, this is good for you because the album opener, lead single and title track packs a hefty wallop.
However, I doubt I'll listen to this whole album based on this song. I might cherry pick a few random Testament songs if they get recommended for having strong riffs (think "Electric Crown" level of epic riffing) but I have absolute zero interest in listening to Brotherhood Of The Snake until I accidentally stumble across a much better song from the album that piques my interest again.


"This House Is Not For Sale" - Bon Jovi         (listen here)
From the album This House Is Not For Sale (04/11/16)

I was tempted to review this album but since it took Bon Jovi and Spotify two weeks to get the album up, I chose to ignore them. However, this single was released on time so I can talk about it here. It's not quite as energetic or anthematic as some of his earlier songs (even "We Don't Run" from the Bridge Burning collection beats this) but it has a catchy chorus, even if it does sound like JBJ was trying to recapture some of the glory from "Livin On A Prayer". The big question is does the new guitarist, Phil X, meet the standard set by Richie Sambora before he become a druggie tosser? The small answer is not really, but he tries.
It's a solid little Rock number, even if it does reach the border between Rock and Pop, but based on this song, I'd recommend giving the album a try...HOWEVER, I've listened to the first five songs off the album and can confirm that this track is misleading. It sounds like generic Pop to the point where you can sing along to "Labor Of Love" with the lyrics from "Don't You (Forget About Me)" - Simple Minds. I'm not sure why Jon's chosen to release Pop instead of Rock now; maybe it's because he's losing his energy, maybe he just wants to get into teenage girl panties again but what I do know is this album probably isn't worth your time.


"Just Your Fool" - The Rolling Stones         (listen here)
From the album Blue & Lonesome (02/12/16)

Last on this list is a covers album by a band who probably should've jacked it in about 40 years ago. Similar to Eric Clapton's release, this is a Blues Rock covers album which means it shares the additional similarity of being fucking boring, as demonstrated by this album opener and lead single. I can understand a band like The Rolling Stones releasing a covers album of old Blues material as a passion project, their way of saying thank you to the artists that inspired them (which was likely the main inspiration for Eric Clapton's album). However, this feels more like the band attempting to be relevant again.
It's had somewhat of a big release despite the songs being basic and dull, probably all the band can physically play in a studio right now. If you like Blues Rock in all its boring glory, give this record a listen. For everyone who thinks The Rolling Stones had a couple of decent hits in the 60s, when they were almost stepping into Garage Rock territory, but then became shit after that when they were releasing mediocre Rock music for people who don't know what good Rock is like "Brown Sugar" and "Start Me Up", avoid Blue & Lonesome. At least this song's short so it has something going for it.

That's all 12 of them! If I had to assemble the songs into a ranked list in ascending order based on how much I enjoyed them when preparing for this post (the tracks, not the albums), it'd look something like this:

1. "Beautiful Broken" - Heart
2. "No Direction Home" - Cheap Trick
3. "Thank God For Girls" - Weezer
4. "Bang Bang" - Green Day
5. "Show Me A Leader" - Alter Bridge
6. "This House Is Not For Sale" - Bon Jovi
7. "Lazarus" - David Bowie
8. "The Stage" - Avenged Sevenfold
9. "Brotherhood Of The Snake" - Testament
10. "Can't Let You Do It" - Eric Clapton
11. "Just Your Fool" - The Rolling Stones
12. "Gardenia" - Iggy Pop

This list can and probably will change over time but for now, that's my ranking of all the undiscussed Rock/Metal singles I would've considered reviewing for this blog this year! I have to say, I didn't really love any of these songs so it's probably a good reason I didn't review the albums if these tracks were considered among the strongest by the bands. Anyway, if my maths is correct, there should be another 2-3 posts this year so expect one of them to be video game related.
The other(s)? Who knows? You'll have to revisit to find out!