Oh shit, sorry. Spoilers.
A song about calling for the execution of a musical genre.
A song about falling in love with a girl who's hardcore into Death Metal.
A song about the state of the planet and mankind sung from the perspective of Jesus.
A song about the tragic loss of one's deck chair on a particularly windy day.
These and many more can be found on Easter Is Cancelled, the latest album by UK based semi-Comedy Rock band, The Darkness. As you can tell by the artwork above (a huge improvement on the horrible cover from Pinewood Smile), this is an album by a band that aren't ready to take themselves or the musical genre they're so adept at producing seriously any time soon. Much like their last two albums, there's a healthy blend of songs with silly lyrics about mundane British life and absolute bangers with heavy riffs and furious solos.
Album opener and lead single "Rock And Roll Deserves To Die" is definitely the latter, as the song's built around multiple acoustic guitar melodies before charging into a thundering post-chorus riff paired with Justin Hawkins' trademark screeching falsetto. Lyrically, it's grandiose and the subject matter of the song is hardly one to treat with sincerity (especially since the band full-on backpedal on their decree by the album's final track, "We Are The Guitar Men") but it's not designed to have you tittering to yourself like a fool. Hell, nothing on this album is, really.
Compared to the last album that had songs about the terrible UK train service and wanting to have sex with the mums of the younger fans, the humour on this album is a little more subtle. Sure, there are straight up hilarious lines such as "None more Metal, elegance and grace, we make sweet love to Hammer Smashed Face" ("Heavy Metal Lover") but the majority of the humour comes from lines like "You've bitten off more than you can chew, I hope my heart was a tasty hors d'oeuvre, You don't wanna hug, You need the Heimlich manoeuvre" ("Choke On It"); a bizarre but perfect blend of clever rhyming and lyrical structure to make an absolutely ridiculous point.
Ordinarily, I'd compare Rock music with a comical tone to the bigger bands that have dominated the Comedy Rock scene such as Spinal Tap and Tenacious D but I honestly feel like a far more fitting comparison for this album would be mid 70s Queen. No, the vocals aren't as strong as Freddie's and the guitar riffs aren't as classic as Brian May's but the tone of the album feels almost exactly on par with records such as A Night At The Opera. Songs with great melodies and poetic lyrics sandwiched between Arena Rock anthems designed to make the crowds go fucking crazy.
The riff-based piledrivers such as title track "Easter Is Cancelled" leave a great lasting impression and the melodic rockers such as "We Are The Guitar Men" have great repeat value. The sillier songs such as "Deck Chair" are probably the weaker entries due to being focused primarily on the humorous lyrics over the music but at least they make for a great listen once or twice before the joke wears thin. However, the biggest flaw of the album is that they saved some of the best songs for the Deluxe Edition such as Folk number "Sutton Hoo", a punchy little number telling a story about aliens visiting an Anglo-Saxon ship in the past (totally something Brian May could've written).
Easter Is Cancelled is an absolute joy to listen to. Hard Rock belters full of explosive action, catchy acoustic melodies for the music enthusiast in you to enjoy and plenty of mild chuckles along the way; it's basically the musical equivalent to a well-made superhero film. There are a couple of mediocre Rock numbers that are easily forgettable ("Heart Explodes", "In Another Life") but nothing that's bad or poorly made. However, these songs could've and should've been replaced by at least one song that was a bit meatier; maybe a Hard Rock chugger about vampires of Rock or something.
Whilst it doesn't exactly push any boundaries or showcase the band's willingness to experiment like I expected them to, any band that can write and produce a Queen album deserves credit. I rate the album 8/10 (same as Pinewood Smile) and would've given it a 9 if the band decided to include all 14 songs on one album instead of trying to milk fans for more cash. Yes, I still think criticising bands and penalising albums for releasing Deluxe Editions with new music is justifiable, deal with it.
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