Tenology: Songs That Haven't Aged Well

Kicking things off in December is a blog post looking at ten Rock/Metal songs containing lyrics that probably wouldn't fly if released in 2018. These politically incorrect lyrics might not be overtly racist or sexist in their themes but they definitely contain lines that would trigger certain individuals, and with good reason too; after all, the past is a foreign country but unlike how we'd treat foreign countries and cultures now, let's take a humorous look at some of these offensive lines from songs you thought you loved before you realised just how horrible and tasteless some of the words were!

TRIGGER WARNING: This blog post will contain examples of...
Xenophobia
Homophobia
Sexism
Racism
Toxic masculinity/male privilege
And some lesser offences.


1. "Every Picture Tells A Story" - Rod Stewart

"The women I've known I wouldn't let tie my shoe,
They wouldn't give you the time of day,
But the slit-eyed lady knocked me off my feet,
God, I was glad I found her".

The story told in this picture is OFFENSIVE DEPICTIONS OF ASIAN PEOPLE!!!

I love this song for its great guitar-based melody and occasionally witty lyrics, although the lines about the "slit-eyed lady" in this song about a guy travelling the world just to get his end away don't do the track any favours. You could argue that Rod's singing it from the perspective of a young lad who still has a lot to learn about women and life, hence the ignorant views of the world, but at the end of the day, the repeated use of "slit-eyed lady" even after the character's found true love suggests it's not that simple. Factor in that Rod's actually started omitting lines about the Asian female during live performance and you've got a track that even the writer believes hasn't aged well, which is saying something considering that people generally get more racist as they grow old.


2. "Money For Nothing" - Dire Straits

"The little faggot with the earring and the makeup,
Yeah buddy, that's his own hair,
That little faggot got his own jet airplane,
That little faggot he's a millionaire".

The only thing you're getting for nothing in this song is HOMOPHOBIA!!!

Even if this song wasn't eight minutes long, there's no doubt in my mind that the verse about the "faggot" on TV would be cut or at least changed in live/radio play. Mark Knopfler has previously defended the lyric, stating that it's not coming from his perspective as a vocalist but rather the character's perspective in the song; a working man who says it how it is, even if that means using derogatory language. After years of controversy, Mark's changed the lyric to "Queenie" but you could still argue that the notion of a guy wearing earrings and makeup automatically making him homosexual is offensive in its own way. Thankfully, there are multiple edits of this track that remove that lyric so modern listeners who may not have heard the original lyrics can still enjoy the awesome guitar riffs and chorus without being subjected to hate.


3. "God & Guns" - Lynyrd Skynyrd

"God and guns keep us strong,
That's what this country was founded on".

Not exactly a form of prejudice but I don't see as many people cheering for this in 2018

Some people have assumed that "Gimme Back My Bullets" was Lynyrd Skynyrd's attempt at firing back against gun control, although that song was largely in reference to their chart positions with single releases. However, there's no doubt whatsoever that "God & Guns" is the band (not a character, the band themselves) showing full support of Christianity and the right to own things that are literally built to kill people. A decade ago, this song probably didn't raise many eyebrows when it was released. However, flash forward to 2018 where a school shooting happens every week in America and suddenly, the lyrics don't seem that persuasive. They come across as ignorant and repetitive due to lack of convincing arguments for owning firearms, although the music's good.


4. "Don't Try Suicide" - Queen

"Don't try suicide, nobody's worth it,
Don't try suicide, nobody cares".

Yeah, I don't think this one was ever considered for Bohemian Rhapsody...

Of all the songs in this list, "Don't Try Suicide" is the only one that hasn't aged well due to the lyrics AND music. The lyrics may be anti-suicide, which is fine, but the music and bouncing vocal melody of "Don't try suicide" is far too jolly and upbeat for a topic that many nowadays would consider the result of serious mental illness. There's also the blunt nature of the lyrics, claiming that "Nobody gives a damn" if you kill yourself. Whilst I can understand the reverse-psychology nature of the lyrics, surely someone in the band must've pointed out that telling someone who potentially wants to end their own life that they're worthless and unloved is a terrible idea.


5. "Illegal Alien" - Genesis

"The sun is shining so I head for the park,
With a bottle of Tequila and a new pack of cigarettes".

Back to the offensive lyrics with a hot batch of RACIAL STEREOTYPING!!!

There are a few lyrics I could've picked to demonstrate how poorly this song has aged but to me, the ones in the first verse do a good job. All the way through this song about a Mexican fellow who's decided to sneak across the border, Phil Collins sings with a noticeable accent that comes across as kinda off-putting now and then (particularly in the lyrics specified above). This might not be quite as startling as some of the entries on this list but I reckon if a band as popular as Genesis were around the time of this album's release came out with a song boiling a culture down to base-level stereotypes, there'd be at least a bit of uproar on the Internet.


6. "Make Love Like A Man" - Def Leppard

"Make love like a man,
I'm a man, that's what I am, yeah".

How about you make like a dated view of gender norms and get out of here?!

Another song with painfully embarrassing lyrics yet somewhat decent Hard Rock music, making it all the more difficult for someone who wants to listen to this song. Joe Elliott himself has claimed that the song probably hasn't aged too well due to sexist claims of toxic masculinity (not in this exact words, mind) and the band haven't played it live for a while...and yet, it was still included on Def Leppard's brand new compilation album The Story So Far... The Best Of Def Leppard. Also included on this album is the song "Man Enough" off the band's most recent album, not to mention a complete omission of any songs from On Through The Night, the band's first and greatest album to date. Smooth moves, lads!


7. "Island Girl" - Elton John

"Well she's black as coal but she burn like a fire,
And she wrap herself around you like a well-worn tire".

Rock of the Westies? More like Rock of the XENOPHOBIC SEXISM!!!

We've got a combination of triggers right here. A bit of racial stereotyping with the intentionally poor grammar and references to skin colour in the lyrics, mixed with some crass remarks about how she'll "wrap herself around you like a well-worn tire". Once again, it's a shame because the music is quite catchy and the vocal melody in the chorus is great. If the lyrics weren't about an "Island Girl" but some other kind of woman, maybe this song would be a bit more popular.


8. "(You Can Still) Rock In America" - Night Ranger

"You can still rock in America,
Ah yeah, it's alright".

Is Toxic Patriotism a thing? Let's go with TOXIC PATRIOTISM!!!

I could've picked many songs for this same reason. Originally, it was going to be "Born In The USA" - Bruce Springsteen but I feel like Night Ranger's song captures the attitude in a much more ignorant, over-the-top way. In the 80s, the "America, Fuck Yeah!!" state of mind was not only acceptable but also rewarded. Compare this to nowadays where the country is going through transitional period from world superpower to global embarrassment and spouting nonsense about how fucking awesome America is and how great it is to be American is kind of looked down upon, at least by most civilised societies. By the way, this isn't me being specifically anti-America; I think anyone showing the levels of patriotism for their country to the extent that Night Ranger did here also warrants the same reaction.


9. "Dio" - Tenacious D

"It's time to pass the torch,
You're too old to rock, no more rockin' for you".

Yes, THIS is the Tenacious D lyric that I'm picking for possibly causing offence

Tenacious D have written songs about fucking and squeezing out a Cleveland steamer on someone's chest but to me, the song that hasn't aged well is the one about legendary vocalist Ronnie James Dio. Tenacious D may have written it as a tribute to the man but the lyrics about him passing the torch and being taken to a retirement home come across as a little insensitive when you realise that Dio's since passed away. I know it wasn't meant to sound insensitive but they must've considered that Dio wasn't going to live forever and writing a song about him being unable to play music anymore so that Tenacious D can take his place instead would have the unintended consequence of making them sound a little...well, dickish?


10. "In The Summertime" - Mungo Jerry

"Have a drink, have a drive
Go out and see what you can find".

Advocating the consumption of alcohol whilst operating an automobile? Shame on Mungo Jerry!

The last entry on this list is quite special as it contains two separate lyrics with different reasons to potentially feel offended. First up, we have the ones mentioned above that gleefully advise drink driving for the sole purpose of finding a woman. Not a line that's aged well when you look at the way social attitudes towards drink driving has changed in the last 40 years but the second line is probably more concerning. Shortly after this lyric, we get: "If her daddy's rich, take her out for a meal, if her daddy's poor, just do what you feel". Combine this with the fact that we know alcohol is involved and WHAM! You've got yourself a piping hot serving of rape culture, right there! It's an easy lyric to miss when you're busy listening to the jovial melody and "CH! CH-CH!"s but trust me, it's in there and it's not a mindset that's taken lightly in 2018.


Have I missed any Rock/Metal songs with politically incorrect lyrics that need a spotlight shone on them? I've got a couple on the backburner for a sequel to this post but for now, there's your ten! There won't be a Spotify playlist for these songs as it doesn't really serve a purpose that showing and analysing the lyrics doesn't already fulfil.
COMING SOON: About six more posts before the end of the year!

Post-Apocalypto - Tenacious D

What's this? I'm posting a blog post at the START of the month instead of three days before the end of it when I'm knackered and almost passing out, frantically trying to think of one more thing to include in a Here Is The News post before I go to bed? That's right, because people who leave things to the last minute always suffer as a result and speaking of leaving things too late...

From this album's announcement to its eventual release, I've been worried about Post-Apocalypto. The album cover is fucking awful, the track-listing looked like a worse version of the debut containing more minute-long snippets than actual fleshed out songs like Rize Of The Fenix and let's face it, concept albums are rarely ever a good thing. With each week, we were "treated" to an episode of Tenacious D's hit & miss web series containing skits and music included on the album but none of it filled me with anticipation. Today, the album was finally released and my God, it is absolutely terrible. It is a piece of shit and if you've never heard any Tenacious D before, you owe it to yourself to avoid this album like the fucking plague.
For starters, the album opener and (I guess) title track "POST-APOCALYPTO THEME" is a 37 second repurposed riff that was originally written for "Rize Of The Fenix" only to be scrapped in favour of a much better verse/chorus structure. That's how they're opening their fourth album; scraps off the cutting room floor that they couldn't even be bothered to turn into a full song. From here, it only gets worse. The concept album dealing with a nuclear holocaust caused by Trump is 50% dialogue excerpts and 50% songs both from the YouTube series, each track having an average length of about 90 seconds. The entire length of the album is just over half an hour, about two minutes longer than Reign In Blood - Slayer.
Tenacious D's last album came out in 2012, six years ago. This album took them six years to make, just let that sink in for a bit. Six years for a rehashed title track and half an hour of mildly amusing comedy taken from about 76 minutes of much funnier material in the YouTube series. You can't even claim that they needed extra time to animate the YouTube shorts because they're largely based around still images knocked up in Microsoft Paint. It's the equivalent of having the entire summer holiday to complete a school project only to realise that you've left it until the day before term time begins to do anything, forcing you to ask your parents to do it all with you...or in this case, Dave Grohl.

Despite each song being written by Jack Black and Kyle Gass, many tunes sound like terrible Foo Fighters filler tracks with their slower tempos and dull, uninspired riffs ("TAKE US INTO SPACE", "WOMAN TIME") and the ones that do sound more like Tenacious D songs are generally piss poor. The lyrical themes are trite without the humour to carry it off ("COLORS", "ROBOT") and the few tracks that contain promising riffs or have a couple of funny lyrics are either too short or not strong enough to redeem the rest of the album ("DADDY DING DONG", "MAKING LOVE"). However, even the better songs have fatal flaws in the grand scheme of things.
Concept albums with a narrative, like this one, should have exactly that; a narrative. If you haven't watched the YouTube series from start to finish, I think you'd genuinely struggle to understand a lot of what was happening. The overall plot is there but there are large gaps that have to be filled in by a knowledge of the YouTube series. When I discussed the previous three Tenacious D albums on the blog last year, I claimed that the music on The Pick Of Destiny doesn't carry enough of the film's story for you to understand everything that's happening but the main difference between The Pick Of Destiny and Post-Apocalypto is that The Pick Of Destiny is more of a soundtrack to the film; there aren't tracks on that album dedicated to the narrative, it's all just music. Here, the album is expected to tell a story but utterly fails.
Instead, we get a few previews of dialogue taken directly from the YouTube series that often aren't as funny due to jokes being edited down and context being completely absent, featuring multiple different characters all seemingly voiced by Jack Black. It might have been better if they could've got some other voice actors involved (Hell, even Kage would've done) but at least the scientist and Terminator voices were fun. I also approve of the band firmly stating their political policy, although all being anti-Trump does is confirm that you're not a complete cunt. Pointing out that the guy's going to get a lot of people killed with his stupidity isn't anything new or original, it's like dedicating an entire album to the idea that we're made up of bones.

If I had to describe Post-Apocalypto in a word, it'd be Lazy. They phoned in the music, they phoned in the story (notice how the ending to both the YouTube series and the album are fuckawful), they phoned in the artwork and they made us wait half a fucking decade for it. It's a bad album and a weak concept album that could've been improved if it contained a story about Tenacious D journeying across a post-apocalyptic wasteland with songs about everything that could potentially cause an extinction level event; a song about aliens, a song about global warming, a song about nukes, a song about war, a song about volcanic eruptions, a song about overpopulation tied into having lots of unprotected sex, I mean JESUS this shit should write itself!
I rate the album 3/10 and that's me being generous. The band still play properly and I didn't hate every second of it. The fact that a couple of lines made me smile now and then have earned it an extra point but honestly, this could still be one of the worst albums I've ever listened to. It may only be 30 minutes long but those 30 minutes could be spend watching an episode of a sitcom or reading a comic book or having a difficult fucking wank, anything other than listening to Post-Apocalypto. I also wouldn't recommend seeing Tenacious D live if it's going to be an acoustic gig, as you know they'll be playing the shite off this album on their next tour.
It might be entertaining with the whole band if they try to tell a story on stage (and the band definitely put on a hell of a performance when it's more than just Jables and Kage) but seriously, it pains me to say that The D screwed up. Oh well, we can always enjoy their fifth album in 2023 that will probably be a return to form in an attempt to win back favour with everyone who wanted this Comedy Rock band to release Comedy Rock.

Tenology: Dynamic Drummers In Rock/Metal

Just under two months ago, I wrote a blog post about ten excellent guitarists in the world of Rock and Metal with the promise of writing similar blog posts about skilled musicians with different instrumental talents. Whilst my initial choice was to write about bassists, I've instead decided to focus on drums as it can be argued that they are the most important instrument in any self-respecting Rock band.
As usual, Tenology posts are the work of opinion and whilst I'll be listing 10 drummers whom I admire, this isn't the same as a Top 10 post. There's no particular rank or hierarchy of skill here, I'm just listing 10 awesome drummers and why I think they kick ass.


1. Nicko McBrain

I couldn't find a good pic of him drumming with Sooty on the front of his kit

Did you guys know I like Iron Maiden? Yeah? Cool, just checking so you're not irritated when I get round to the bassist and vocalist blog posts. Anyway, Nicko McBrain is the band's current drummer and has been with them since Clive Burr had to drop out in the early 80s due to health issues. Whilst Clive was great and will be missed, Nicko was a worthy replacement and has kept the band's Metal strong since 1983 with his epic kit and great personality. However, he's not on this list just because he's got a percussion cage and a funny way with words; he's a hugely talented drummer who's able to play all of the band's material without the use of double bass pedals. Speaking of double bass...


2. Scott Travis

For some reason, I always thought this guy was bald

From no double bass to ultimate double bass, Scott Travis is (in my eyes) single-handedly responsible for making Judas Priest awesome again. Around the late 80s, the band were running out of steam and even resorting to Hair Metal singles. However, in 1990, the band released Painkiller with Scott on drums and gave the band the shock to the balls they needed to become proper Metal again. From the drum intro/outro of "Painkiller" to the live recordings of from the British Steel anniversary gigs, Scott's drumming is as furious as the Metal monsters Judas Priest writes about in most of their albums.


3. Tommy Lee

I always thought this was just the Drum Rollercoaster but apparently it's called the Cruecifly

Motley Crue might not be known for technical or complex rhythms but there's something Tommy Lee does in live shows that only a talented drummer would be able to pull off. His drumkit is attached to a mechanical harness that lifts it up over the audience and rotates it around with him still strapped down, drumming along to a variety of tunes as if he was still on the ground. When I saw Motley Crue on their farewell tour, Tommy was able to pull this off and continue drumming for the rest of the gig without any audible signs of fatigue so if you've got a problem with him in this list, go see him do this live...oh wait, you can't anymore. Well, in that case, you'll have to take my word for it.


4. Keith Moon

When the film about Keith is made, tell Sacha Baron Cohen he's got the part

I'm trying to mix iconic drummers with less obvious choices but if you're going to write about great drummers, Keith Moon better be there. He was a fucking beast behind the drums and you only have to listen to "Young Man Blues" from the Live At Leeds album to hear him going absolutely apeshit without the percussion sounding messy or amateurish. On the studio side, tracks like "Won't Get Fooled Again" are well known for great drum fills as well as the riffs and screams. I won't get into the party lifestyle this guy led but one story that stuck in my mind is the tale of how Keith put dynamite in his drums to set off at the end of the show, nearly killed/deafening his bandmates.


5. Dave Grohl

One of these pictures is not like the other

Dave Grohl is mostly known for Foo Fighters now but he isn't actually the drummer for that band. Dave's an OK vocalist and a decent guitarist but his skills as a drummer dwarf both of those combined. Dave's drummed for many bands (notably Nirvana) but I think my personal favourite example of his work comes from Tenacious D. He laid down the percussion for their studio albums and occasionally played with them live, bringing the thunder in typical Dave Grohl style. He knows how to crank up the power and just when you think he's blown his load, he pulls out another burst of energy from fuck knows where. It's just a shame he insists on being the frontman for the Foo Fighters, as he's definitely strongest at the back.


6. Rick Allen

No, this isn't photoshopped

Def Leppard's drummer only has one arm. That's all I really need to say to explain his inclusion here. Any drummer who can play well enough for their band to keep up with other great Rock acts despite having such a significant handicap gets a shout out on my list. Hell, the fact that he can play along to classic Def Leppard material and put some drummers with two hands to shame (fuck you, Meg White) means he deserves a place here. Granted that the band simplified their music to power ballads and slow tempo stadium anthems after his accident but songs like "Rocket" prove the band could still rock out...no pun intended.


7. Clive Bunker

Amazing how he managed to keep drumming with that dumb copyright mark floating in front of him!

Something about the name Clive that produces great drummers, huh. Anyway, Clive was the drummer for Jethro Tull for a few years, laying down percussion for the Aqualung album and a couple before it too. He's on this list because I revisited several tracks from Aqualung recently and found myself thinking about how great the drumming was, particularly on the title track. The tempo changes and small little fills throughout show that this guy knew how to drum with the best of 'em, plus I defy you to listen to the double-time section and guitar solo without tapping your feet. Need more proof? How about the fucking outro where he breaks into mini drum solos that are neither self-indulgent or painfully long? Clive might not top anyone's list but he was a vital component in making Jethro Tull's music great.


8. Joey Jordison

I'm not a huge Slipknot fan but damn, this guy's good

My girlfriend once had the pleasure of seeing Metallica live and on that fateful gig, Lars Ulrich was unable to drum so Joey Jordison filled in. According to her, he was able to play all of Metallica's material without any issues much better than Lars ever could. I'm aware that this is supposed to be my list but can you honestly tell me Joey doesn't deserve a spot here? His drumming's tighter than a roadie's grip and similar to Tommy Lee, Joey had a special trick for Slipknot gigs where he and his kit would be turned upside down whilst he kept drumming. If any member of Slipknot was responsible for getting me into the band, it'd probably be Joey (although Corey Taylor would be a close second).


9. Ian Paice

I'm ashamed to say I nearly forgot about this guy

If you're after great Hard Rock drummers who can still keep it up after almost half a century, look no further than Deep Purple's drummer, Ian Paice. The man has laid down percussion for such great Rock anthems as "Smoke On The Water", "Highway Star" and "Black Night" whilst also showing off his technical talents in songs such as "Fireball", "Speed King" and, my all-time favourite song, "Burn". Unlike some of the drummers on this list, Paice is capable of performing at a variety of different settings instead of going all-in balls out for every track and when I saw him live a few years ago, he earned his place on the list...well, he probably earned it decades before that during the Deep Purple Mk II sessions but you know what I mean!


10. Neil Peart

Predictable final choice? Yes. Awesome drummer? Fuck yes!

You can't have a list of great drummers without AT LEAST MENTIONING Neil Peart or Rush. Sporting a 360 degree kit and a powerful arsenal of percussive tools, Neil is regarded as one of the best (if not THE best) drummer in Rock boasting not just physical skill but also creative songwriting talents (although I acknowledge he's not the only one on this list you can say that about). Moving Pictures might not be my favourite Rush album but if I had to pick a collection of excellent songs for drummers, that'd be the first place I'd look. I mean, "Tom Sawyer", "Red Barchetta", freaking "YYZ", and that's only one album! His Prog Rock timekeeping and utilisation of practically anything inanimate that makes a specific noise when you hit it have helped put Rush on the map, although the other two band members aren't slouches either.


Before I finish this post, I feel I should list a couple of honourable mentions as I doubt I'll be writing another blog post on great drummers. The guys I've talked about up above earned their place for resonating with me personally a little bit more than these guys, although if I had to expand my list to include more than 10, these are the drummers who'd be next on the post:
Mike Portnoy
John Bonham
Mitch Mitchell
Chad Smith
Ringo Starr (what? I like him, screw you!)

However, just because I didn't include other Rock/Metal drummers doesn't mean I don't think they're awesome. It just means they didn't leap into my thoughts straight away when I asked myself "who's fucking great at drumming?". Who would you include in your list? Let me know in the comments or via Twitter.
Next time...I dunno, maybe an album review or Rapid Fire post.

Rapid Fire: Tenacious D

Just managed to get in at the last minute, once again!
For this week's Rapid Fire post, I'm once again choosing three albums by the same band and yes, it's a Hard Rock band again. However, since tomorrow is April Fool's Day, this band also qualifies as Mock Rock. There aren't a huge number of albums by great Mock Rock bands to choose from but since my favourite Mock Rock outfit happens to only have three albums in their back catalogue (at the time of writing this), the choice was obvious.
I used to think this band were kind of tacky but after watching the film and listening to their music, I grew to love them. Now, Tenacious D are one of my favourite bands and I've seen them three times so far, so let's take a look at their three albums starting with their 2001 self-titled debut.


1. Tenacious D - Tenacious D

Tenacious D (album) may look pretty sinister but it's all part of the gag. Their music isn't heavy, devil worshipping music from Hell but sometimes the duo of Jables (Jack Black) and Kage (Kyle Gass) like to stray into those territories with the help of their backing band. Album opener "Kielbasa" is built around an acoustic melody and amusing lyrics that I shouldn't need to analyse for you to get. It soon becomes heavier but it's a strong representation for the rest of the album, as I once claimed in a blog post on great album openers.
Most songs are built around an acoustic melody and lyrics about sex, food or random concepts ranging from friendship ("Friendship") to karate ("Karate") although some start off heavy and stay that way ("The Road", "Rock Your Socks"). However, the biggest amount of variety on the album comes from the blending of comedic skits with Hard Rock tracks. It might make the album a bit hard to listen to in one sitting (unless you like brief amusing interludes between your tunes) but they're still pretty funny.
I recommend listening to this album all the way through at least once but after that, you're probably better off just picking tracks you like to enjoy now and then. Fortunately, there are plenty of these songs to choose from as Tenacious D have a habit of writing quality tunes in short bursts that tend to stray from the traditional Rock song formula.

1. Kielbasa

2. One Note Song

3. Tribute

4. Wonderboy

5. Hard Fucking

6. Fuck Her Gently

7. Explosivo

8. Dio

9. Inward Singing

10. Kyle Quit The Band

11. The Road

12. Cock Pushups

13. Lee

14. Friendship Test

15. Friendship

16. Karate Schnitzel

17. Karate

18. Rock Your Socks

19. Drive-Thru

20. Double Team

21. City Hall/I Believe/Malibu Nights

ALBUM RATING - 7/10

2. The Pick Of Destiny - Tenacious D

Critics panned this album for being a disappointing follow-up to the debut, along with needing knowledge of the film to appreciate completely. However, if you want an album that's entirely music without any of the skits, The Pick Of Destiny is great. Album opener "Kickapoo" spins an entertaining yarn of young JB's oppressive family and his journey to the city of fallen angels where the ocean meets the sand. It sounds like the opening song from an R-rated Rock opera and sets the tone for the rest of the album well.

Unlike their debut, the backing band have more of a presence on these songs with fewer tracks built around acoustic riffs, even though a few crop up here and there ("Classico", "History") and plenty ramping up the heavy material to the awesome degree ("Master Exploder", "Beelzeboss (The Final Showdown)"). Whilst I can understand the complete lack of skits on the album (there's a film and it's funnier than the entire first album!), I can also understand how it's quite difficult to enjoy The Pick Of Destiny unless you've seen the film.

The songs on this album don't carry enough of the film's narrative to make it a standalone success so if anything, it's more of a soundtrack than a brand new studio album. However, if bands like Queen can include a soundtrack in their discography then so can Tenacious D, especially when it's as good as this one. I recommend watching the film before listening to this album but if you do want to listen to any songs as a taster first, I recommend tracks one, five, seven and fifteen.

1. Kickapoo

2. Classico

3. Baby

4. Destiny

5. History

6. The Government Totally Sucks

7. Master Exploder

8. The Divide

9. Papagenu (He's My Sassafrass)

10. Dude (I Totally Miss You)

11. Break-In City (Storm The Gate!)

12. Car Chase City

13. Beelzeboss (The Final Showdown)

14. POD

15. The Metal

ALBUM RATING - 7/10

3. Rize Of The Fenix - Tenacious D

The band's third/currently latest album may have somewhat of an...irregular album cover but the material on the record is a perfect blend of the first two albums. Coming off a tour that ended up losing money and all the aforementioned negative press, the dynamic duo needed some time to climb back to the top. Six years, to be exact (so still less than Metallica needed). Album opener "Rize Of The Fenix" explains this story with heavy riffs, several acts and the best explosion sound effect I've ever heard. To quote the chorus, the fuckin' D is back!

It's fair to say that the strongest material comes in the first half of the album with classic D material ("Roadie"), Hard Hard Rock ("Deth Starr") and an amusing skit ("Classical Teacher"). Once the album gets about 2/3 of the way through, things start to take a downward spiral with less energetic music and less inspired lyrics ("39", "Rock Is Dead"). There are some exceptions but even those could've been better; "To Be The Best" needed another verse (and the band have added that extra verse in certain live gigs) but it's still good.

I don't think anybody's saying this is the band's best album but it's certainly one of the better albums. It rides the line and pleases fans of Tenacious D and The Pick Of Destiny but most importantly, it doesn't spell the end for the band. The creative well isn't dry and, if the gigs I've been to are any indication, Jables and Kage still enjoy rocking out. Rize Of The Fenix is a solid entry to get the band back on track and a fourth album should try to capture the same magic as the first. More skits, more songs about sex, more actual songs that could be heard on the radio instead of just two-minute snippets that couldn't be fleshed out. Hopefully we'll get another album from the boys soon, as it's been five years since this came out.

1. Rize Of The Fenix

2. Low Hangin' Fruit

3. Classical Teacher

4. Senorita

5.Deth Starr

6. Roadie

7. Flutes & Trombones

8. The Ballad Of Hollywood Jack And The Rage Kage

9. Throw Down

10. Rock Is Dead

11. They Fucked Our Asses

12. To Be The Best

13. 39

ALBUM RATING - 7/10

Triple 7s, whadda ya know? I definitely didn't phone this one in!

I'm currently dealing with technical issues regarding my laptop and the Internet so blog posts may go on hold for a while. I'll still aim for an average of one a week but if I can't meet that, there's always my Twitter account.