Tenology: Songs That Haven't Aged Well

Kicking things off in December is a blog post looking at ten Rock/Metal songs containing lyrics that probably wouldn't fly if released in 2018. These politically incorrect lyrics might not be overtly racist or sexist in their themes but they definitely contain lines that would trigger certain individuals, and with good reason too; after all, the past is a foreign country but unlike how we'd treat foreign countries and cultures now, let's take a humorous look at some of these offensive lines from songs you thought you loved before you realised just how horrible and tasteless some of the words were!

TRIGGER WARNING: This blog post will contain examples of...
Xenophobia
Homophobia
Sexism
Racism
Toxic masculinity/male privilege
And some lesser offences.


1. "Every Picture Tells A Story" - Rod Stewart

"The women I've known I wouldn't let tie my shoe,
They wouldn't give you the time of day,
But the slit-eyed lady knocked me off my feet,
God, I was glad I found her".

The story told in this picture is OFFENSIVE DEPICTIONS OF ASIAN PEOPLE!!!

I love this song for its great guitar-based melody and occasionally witty lyrics, although the lines about the "slit-eyed lady" in this song about a guy travelling the world just to get his end away don't do the track any favours. You could argue that Rod's singing it from the perspective of a young lad who still has a lot to learn about women and life, hence the ignorant views of the world, but at the end of the day, the repeated use of "slit-eyed lady" even after the character's found true love suggests it's not that simple. Factor in that Rod's actually started omitting lines about the Asian female during live performance and you've got a track that even the writer believes hasn't aged well, which is saying something considering that people generally get more racist as they grow old.


2. "Money For Nothing" - Dire Straits

"The little faggot with the earring and the makeup,
Yeah buddy, that's his own hair,
That little faggot got his own jet airplane,
That little faggot he's a millionaire".

The only thing you're getting for nothing in this song is HOMOPHOBIA!!!

Even if this song wasn't eight minutes long, there's no doubt in my mind that the verse about the "faggot" on TV would be cut or at least changed in live/radio play. Mark Knopfler has previously defended the lyric, stating that it's not coming from his perspective as a vocalist but rather the character's perspective in the song; a working man who says it how it is, even if that means using derogatory language. After years of controversy, Mark's changed the lyric to "Queenie" but you could still argue that the notion of a guy wearing earrings and makeup automatically making him homosexual is offensive in its own way. Thankfully, there are multiple edits of this track that remove that lyric so modern listeners who may not have heard the original lyrics can still enjoy the awesome guitar riffs and chorus without being subjected to hate.


3. "God & Guns" - Lynyrd Skynyrd

"God and guns keep us strong,
That's what this country was founded on".

Not exactly a form of prejudice but I don't see as many people cheering for this in 2018

Some people have assumed that "Gimme Back My Bullets" was Lynyrd Skynyrd's attempt at firing back against gun control, although that song was largely in reference to their chart positions with single releases. However, there's no doubt whatsoever that "God & Guns" is the band (not a character, the band themselves) showing full support of Christianity and the right to own things that are literally built to kill people. A decade ago, this song probably didn't raise many eyebrows when it was released. However, flash forward to 2018 where a school shooting happens every week in America and suddenly, the lyrics don't seem that persuasive. They come across as ignorant and repetitive due to lack of convincing arguments for owning firearms, although the music's good.


4. "Don't Try Suicide" - Queen

"Don't try suicide, nobody's worth it,
Don't try suicide, nobody cares".

Yeah, I don't think this one was ever considered for Bohemian Rhapsody...

Of all the songs in this list, "Don't Try Suicide" is the only one that hasn't aged well due to the lyrics AND music. The lyrics may be anti-suicide, which is fine, but the music and bouncing vocal melody of "Don't try suicide" is far too jolly and upbeat for a topic that many nowadays would consider the result of serious mental illness. There's also the blunt nature of the lyrics, claiming that "Nobody gives a damn" if you kill yourself. Whilst I can understand the reverse-psychology nature of the lyrics, surely someone in the band must've pointed out that telling someone who potentially wants to end their own life that they're worthless and unloved is a terrible idea.


5. "Illegal Alien" - Genesis

"The sun is shining so I head for the park,
With a bottle of Tequila and a new pack of cigarettes".

Back to the offensive lyrics with a hot batch of RACIAL STEREOTYPING!!!

There are a few lyrics I could've picked to demonstrate how poorly this song has aged but to me, the ones in the first verse do a good job. All the way through this song about a Mexican fellow who's decided to sneak across the border, Phil Collins sings with a noticeable accent that comes across as kinda off-putting now and then (particularly in the lyrics specified above). This might not be quite as startling as some of the entries on this list but I reckon if a band as popular as Genesis were around the time of this album's release came out with a song boiling a culture down to base-level stereotypes, there'd be at least a bit of uproar on the Internet.


6. "Make Love Like A Man" - Def Leppard

"Make love like a man,
I'm a man, that's what I am, yeah".

How about you make like a dated view of gender norms and get out of here?!

Another song with painfully embarrassing lyrics yet somewhat decent Hard Rock music, making it all the more difficult for someone who wants to listen to this song. Joe Elliott himself has claimed that the song probably hasn't aged too well due to sexist claims of toxic masculinity (not in this exact words, mind) and the band haven't played it live for a while...and yet, it was still included on Def Leppard's brand new compilation album The Story So Far... The Best Of Def Leppard. Also included on this album is the song "Man Enough" off the band's most recent album, not to mention a complete omission of any songs from On Through The Night, the band's first and greatest album to date. Smooth moves, lads!


7. "Island Girl" - Elton John

"Well she's black as coal but she burn like a fire,
And she wrap herself around you like a well-worn tire".

Rock of the Westies? More like Rock of the XENOPHOBIC SEXISM!!!

We've got a combination of triggers right here. A bit of racial stereotyping with the intentionally poor grammar and references to skin colour in the lyrics, mixed with some crass remarks about how she'll "wrap herself around you like a well-worn tire". Once again, it's a shame because the music is quite catchy and the vocal melody in the chorus is great. If the lyrics weren't about an "Island Girl" but some other kind of woman, maybe this song would be a bit more popular.


8. "(You Can Still) Rock In America" - Night Ranger

"You can still rock in America,
Ah yeah, it's alright".

Is Toxic Patriotism a thing? Let's go with TOXIC PATRIOTISM!!!

I could've picked many songs for this same reason. Originally, it was going to be "Born In The USA" - Bruce Springsteen but I feel like Night Ranger's song captures the attitude in a much more ignorant, over-the-top way. In the 80s, the "America, Fuck Yeah!!" state of mind was not only acceptable but also rewarded. Compare this to nowadays where the country is going through transitional period from world superpower to global embarrassment and spouting nonsense about how fucking awesome America is and how great it is to be American is kind of looked down upon, at least by most civilised societies. By the way, this isn't me being specifically anti-America; I think anyone showing the levels of patriotism for their country to the extent that Night Ranger did here also warrants the same reaction.


9. "Dio" - Tenacious D

"It's time to pass the torch,
You're too old to rock, no more rockin' for you".

Yes, THIS is the Tenacious D lyric that I'm picking for possibly causing offence

Tenacious D have written songs about fucking and squeezing out a Cleveland steamer on someone's chest but to me, the song that hasn't aged well is the one about legendary vocalist Ronnie James Dio. Tenacious D may have written it as a tribute to the man but the lyrics about him passing the torch and being taken to a retirement home come across as a little insensitive when you realise that Dio's since passed away. I know it wasn't meant to sound insensitive but they must've considered that Dio wasn't going to live forever and writing a song about him being unable to play music anymore so that Tenacious D can take his place instead would have the unintended consequence of making them sound a little...well, dickish?


10. "In The Summertime" - Mungo Jerry

"Have a drink, have a drive
Go out and see what you can find".

Advocating the consumption of alcohol whilst operating an automobile? Shame on Mungo Jerry!

The last entry on this list is quite special as it contains two separate lyrics with different reasons to potentially feel offended. First up, we have the ones mentioned above that gleefully advise drink driving for the sole purpose of finding a woman. Not a line that's aged well when you look at the way social attitudes towards drink driving has changed in the last 40 years but the second line is probably more concerning. Shortly after this lyric, we get: "If her daddy's rich, take her out for a meal, if her daddy's poor, just do what you feel". Combine this with the fact that we know alcohol is involved and WHAM! You've got yourself a piping hot serving of rape culture, right there! It's an easy lyric to miss when you're busy listening to the jovial melody and "CH! CH-CH!"s but trust me, it's in there and it's not a mindset that's taken lightly in 2018.


Have I missed any Rock/Metal songs with politically incorrect lyrics that need a spotlight shone on them? I've got a couple on the backburner for a sequel to this post but for now, there's your ten! There won't be a Spotify playlist for these songs as it doesn't really serve a purpose that showing and analysing the lyrics doesn't already fulfil.
COMING SOON: About six more posts before the end of the year!