Tenology: Songs That Haven't Aged Well

Kicking things off in December is a blog post looking at ten Rock/Metal songs containing lyrics that probably wouldn't fly if released in 2018. These politically incorrect lyrics might not be overtly racist or sexist in their themes but they definitely contain lines that would trigger certain individuals, and with good reason too; after all, the past is a foreign country but unlike how we'd treat foreign countries and cultures now, let's take a humorous look at some of these offensive lines from songs you thought you loved before you realised just how horrible and tasteless some of the words were!

TRIGGER WARNING: This blog post will contain examples of...
Xenophobia
Homophobia
Sexism
Racism
Toxic masculinity/male privilege
And some lesser offences.


1. "Every Picture Tells A Story" - Rod Stewart

"The women I've known I wouldn't let tie my shoe,
They wouldn't give you the time of day,
But the slit-eyed lady knocked me off my feet,
God, I was glad I found her".

The story told in this picture is OFFENSIVE DEPICTIONS OF ASIAN PEOPLE!!!

I love this song for its great guitar-based melody and occasionally witty lyrics, although the lines about the "slit-eyed lady" in this song about a guy travelling the world just to get his end away don't do the track any favours. You could argue that Rod's singing it from the perspective of a young lad who still has a lot to learn about women and life, hence the ignorant views of the world, but at the end of the day, the repeated use of "slit-eyed lady" even after the character's found true love suggests it's not that simple. Factor in that Rod's actually started omitting lines about the Asian female during live performance and you've got a track that even the writer believes hasn't aged well, which is saying something considering that people generally get more racist as they grow old.


2. "Money For Nothing" - Dire Straits

"The little faggot with the earring and the makeup,
Yeah buddy, that's his own hair,
That little faggot got his own jet airplane,
That little faggot he's a millionaire".

The only thing you're getting for nothing in this song is HOMOPHOBIA!!!

Even if this song wasn't eight minutes long, there's no doubt in my mind that the verse about the "faggot" on TV would be cut or at least changed in live/radio play. Mark Knopfler has previously defended the lyric, stating that it's not coming from his perspective as a vocalist but rather the character's perspective in the song; a working man who says it how it is, even if that means using derogatory language. After years of controversy, Mark's changed the lyric to "Queenie" but you could still argue that the notion of a guy wearing earrings and makeup automatically making him homosexual is offensive in its own way. Thankfully, there are multiple edits of this track that remove that lyric so modern listeners who may not have heard the original lyrics can still enjoy the awesome guitar riffs and chorus without being subjected to hate.


3. "God & Guns" - Lynyrd Skynyrd

"God and guns keep us strong,
That's what this country was founded on".

Not exactly a form of prejudice but I don't see as many people cheering for this in 2018

Some people have assumed that "Gimme Back My Bullets" was Lynyrd Skynyrd's attempt at firing back against gun control, although that song was largely in reference to their chart positions with single releases. However, there's no doubt whatsoever that "God & Guns" is the band (not a character, the band themselves) showing full support of Christianity and the right to own things that are literally built to kill people. A decade ago, this song probably didn't raise many eyebrows when it was released. However, flash forward to 2018 where a school shooting happens every week in America and suddenly, the lyrics don't seem that persuasive. They come across as ignorant and repetitive due to lack of convincing arguments for owning firearms, although the music's good.


4. "Don't Try Suicide" - Queen

"Don't try suicide, nobody's worth it,
Don't try suicide, nobody cares".

Yeah, I don't think this one was ever considered for Bohemian Rhapsody...

Of all the songs in this list, "Don't Try Suicide" is the only one that hasn't aged well due to the lyrics AND music. The lyrics may be anti-suicide, which is fine, but the music and bouncing vocal melody of "Don't try suicide" is far too jolly and upbeat for a topic that many nowadays would consider the result of serious mental illness. There's also the blunt nature of the lyrics, claiming that "Nobody gives a damn" if you kill yourself. Whilst I can understand the reverse-psychology nature of the lyrics, surely someone in the band must've pointed out that telling someone who potentially wants to end their own life that they're worthless and unloved is a terrible idea.


5. "Illegal Alien" - Genesis

"The sun is shining so I head for the park,
With a bottle of Tequila and a new pack of cigarettes".

Back to the offensive lyrics with a hot batch of RACIAL STEREOTYPING!!!

There are a few lyrics I could've picked to demonstrate how poorly this song has aged but to me, the ones in the first verse do a good job. All the way through this song about a Mexican fellow who's decided to sneak across the border, Phil Collins sings with a noticeable accent that comes across as kinda off-putting now and then (particularly in the lyrics specified above). This might not be quite as startling as some of the entries on this list but I reckon if a band as popular as Genesis were around the time of this album's release came out with a song boiling a culture down to base-level stereotypes, there'd be at least a bit of uproar on the Internet.


6. "Make Love Like A Man" - Def Leppard

"Make love like a man,
I'm a man, that's what I am, yeah".

How about you make like a dated view of gender norms and get out of here?!

Another song with painfully embarrassing lyrics yet somewhat decent Hard Rock music, making it all the more difficult for someone who wants to listen to this song. Joe Elliott himself has claimed that the song probably hasn't aged too well due to sexist claims of toxic masculinity (not in this exact words, mind) and the band haven't played it live for a while...and yet, it was still included on Def Leppard's brand new compilation album The Story So Far... The Best Of Def Leppard. Also included on this album is the song "Man Enough" off the band's most recent album, not to mention a complete omission of any songs from On Through The Night, the band's first and greatest album to date. Smooth moves, lads!


7. "Island Girl" - Elton John

"Well she's black as coal but she burn like a fire,
And she wrap herself around you like a well-worn tire".

Rock of the Westies? More like Rock of the XENOPHOBIC SEXISM!!!

We've got a combination of triggers right here. A bit of racial stereotyping with the intentionally poor grammar and references to skin colour in the lyrics, mixed with some crass remarks about how she'll "wrap herself around you like a well-worn tire". Once again, it's a shame because the music is quite catchy and the vocal melody in the chorus is great. If the lyrics weren't about an "Island Girl" but some other kind of woman, maybe this song would be a bit more popular.


8. "(You Can Still) Rock In America" - Night Ranger

"You can still rock in America,
Ah yeah, it's alright".

Is Toxic Patriotism a thing? Let's go with TOXIC PATRIOTISM!!!

I could've picked many songs for this same reason. Originally, it was going to be "Born In The USA" - Bruce Springsteen but I feel like Night Ranger's song captures the attitude in a much more ignorant, over-the-top way. In the 80s, the "America, Fuck Yeah!!" state of mind was not only acceptable but also rewarded. Compare this to nowadays where the country is going through transitional period from world superpower to global embarrassment and spouting nonsense about how fucking awesome America is and how great it is to be American is kind of looked down upon, at least by most civilised societies. By the way, this isn't me being specifically anti-America; I think anyone showing the levels of patriotism for their country to the extent that Night Ranger did here also warrants the same reaction.


9. "Dio" - Tenacious D

"It's time to pass the torch,
You're too old to rock, no more rockin' for you".

Yes, THIS is the Tenacious D lyric that I'm picking for possibly causing offence

Tenacious D have written songs about fucking and squeezing out a Cleveland steamer on someone's chest but to me, the song that hasn't aged well is the one about legendary vocalist Ronnie James Dio. Tenacious D may have written it as a tribute to the man but the lyrics about him passing the torch and being taken to a retirement home come across as a little insensitive when you realise that Dio's since passed away. I know it wasn't meant to sound insensitive but they must've considered that Dio wasn't going to live forever and writing a song about him being unable to play music anymore so that Tenacious D can take his place instead would have the unintended consequence of making them sound a little...well, dickish?


10. "In The Summertime" - Mungo Jerry

"Have a drink, have a drive
Go out and see what you can find".

Advocating the consumption of alcohol whilst operating an automobile? Shame on Mungo Jerry!

The last entry on this list is quite special as it contains two separate lyrics with different reasons to potentially feel offended. First up, we have the ones mentioned above that gleefully advise drink driving for the sole purpose of finding a woman. Not a line that's aged well when you look at the way social attitudes towards drink driving has changed in the last 40 years but the second line is probably more concerning. Shortly after this lyric, we get: "If her daddy's rich, take her out for a meal, if her daddy's poor, just do what you feel". Combine this with the fact that we know alcohol is involved and WHAM! You've got yourself a piping hot serving of rape culture, right there! It's an easy lyric to miss when you're busy listening to the jovial melody and "CH! CH-CH!"s but trust me, it's in there and it's not a mindset that's taken lightly in 2018.


Have I missed any Rock/Metal songs with politically incorrect lyrics that need a spotlight shone on them? I've got a couple on the backburner for a sequel to this post but for now, there's your ten! There won't be a Spotify playlist for these songs as it doesn't really serve a purpose that showing and analysing the lyrics doesn't already fulfil.
COMING SOON: About six more posts before the end of the year!

Tenology: Dynamic Drummers In Rock/Metal

Just under two months ago, I wrote a blog post about ten excellent guitarists in the world of Rock and Metal with the promise of writing similar blog posts about skilled musicians with different instrumental talents. Whilst my initial choice was to write about bassists, I've instead decided to focus on drums as it can be argued that they are the most important instrument in any self-respecting Rock band.
As usual, Tenology posts are the work of opinion and whilst I'll be listing 10 drummers whom I admire, this isn't the same as a Top 10 post. There's no particular rank or hierarchy of skill here, I'm just listing 10 awesome drummers and why I think they kick ass.


1. Nicko McBrain

I couldn't find a good pic of him drumming with Sooty on the front of his kit

Did you guys know I like Iron Maiden? Yeah? Cool, just checking so you're not irritated when I get round to the bassist and vocalist blog posts. Anyway, Nicko McBrain is the band's current drummer and has been with them since Clive Burr had to drop out in the early 80s due to health issues. Whilst Clive was great and will be missed, Nicko was a worthy replacement and has kept the band's Metal strong since 1983 with his epic kit and great personality. However, he's not on this list just because he's got a percussion cage and a funny way with words; he's a hugely talented drummer who's able to play all of the band's material without the use of double bass pedals. Speaking of double bass...


2. Scott Travis

For some reason, I always thought this guy was bald

From no double bass to ultimate double bass, Scott Travis is (in my eyes) single-handedly responsible for making Judas Priest awesome again. Around the late 80s, the band were running out of steam and even resorting to Hair Metal singles. However, in 1990, the band released Painkiller with Scott on drums and gave the band the shock to the balls they needed to become proper Metal again. From the drum intro/outro of "Painkiller" to the live recordings of from the British Steel anniversary gigs, Scott's drumming is as furious as the Metal monsters Judas Priest writes about in most of their albums.


3. Tommy Lee

I always thought this was just the Drum Rollercoaster but apparently it's called the Cruecifly

Motley Crue might not be known for technical or complex rhythms but there's something Tommy Lee does in live shows that only a talented drummer would be able to pull off. His drumkit is attached to a mechanical harness that lifts it up over the audience and rotates it around with him still strapped down, drumming along to a variety of tunes as if he was still on the ground. When I saw Motley Crue on their farewell tour, Tommy was able to pull this off and continue drumming for the rest of the gig without any audible signs of fatigue so if you've got a problem with him in this list, go see him do this live...oh wait, you can't anymore. Well, in that case, you'll have to take my word for it.


4. Keith Moon

When the film about Keith is made, tell Sacha Baron Cohen he's got the part

I'm trying to mix iconic drummers with less obvious choices but if you're going to write about great drummers, Keith Moon better be there. He was a fucking beast behind the drums and you only have to listen to "Young Man Blues" from the Live At Leeds album to hear him going absolutely apeshit without the percussion sounding messy or amateurish. On the studio side, tracks like "Won't Get Fooled Again" are well known for great drum fills as well as the riffs and screams. I won't get into the party lifestyle this guy led but one story that stuck in my mind is the tale of how Keith put dynamite in his drums to set off at the end of the show, nearly killed/deafening his bandmates.


5. Dave Grohl

One of these pictures is not like the other

Dave Grohl is mostly known for Foo Fighters now but he isn't actually the drummer for that band. Dave's an OK vocalist and a decent guitarist but his skills as a drummer dwarf both of those combined. Dave's drummed for many bands (notably Nirvana) but I think my personal favourite example of his work comes from Tenacious D. He laid down the percussion for their studio albums and occasionally played with them live, bringing the thunder in typical Dave Grohl style. He knows how to crank up the power and just when you think he's blown his load, he pulls out another burst of energy from fuck knows where. It's just a shame he insists on being the frontman for the Foo Fighters, as he's definitely strongest at the back.


6. Rick Allen

No, this isn't photoshopped

Def Leppard's drummer only has one arm. That's all I really need to say to explain his inclusion here. Any drummer who can play well enough for their band to keep up with other great Rock acts despite having such a significant handicap gets a shout out on my list. Hell, the fact that he can play along to classic Def Leppard material and put some drummers with two hands to shame (fuck you, Meg White) means he deserves a place here. Granted that the band simplified their music to power ballads and slow tempo stadium anthems after his accident but songs like "Rocket" prove the band could still rock out...no pun intended.


7. Clive Bunker

Amazing how he managed to keep drumming with that dumb copyright mark floating in front of him!

Something about the name Clive that produces great drummers, huh. Anyway, Clive was the drummer for Jethro Tull for a few years, laying down percussion for the Aqualung album and a couple before it too. He's on this list because I revisited several tracks from Aqualung recently and found myself thinking about how great the drumming was, particularly on the title track. The tempo changes and small little fills throughout show that this guy knew how to drum with the best of 'em, plus I defy you to listen to the double-time section and guitar solo without tapping your feet. Need more proof? How about the fucking outro where he breaks into mini drum solos that are neither self-indulgent or painfully long? Clive might not top anyone's list but he was a vital component in making Jethro Tull's music great.


8. Joey Jordison

I'm not a huge Slipknot fan but damn, this guy's good

My girlfriend once had the pleasure of seeing Metallica live and on that fateful gig, Lars Ulrich was unable to drum so Joey Jordison filled in. According to her, he was able to play all of Metallica's material without any issues much better than Lars ever could. I'm aware that this is supposed to be my list but can you honestly tell me Joey doesn't deserve a spot here? His drumming's tighter than a roadie's grip and similar to Tommy Lee, Joey had a special trick for Slipknot gigs where he and his kit would be turned upside down whilst he kept drumming. If any member of Slipknot was responsible for getting me into the band, it'd probably be Joey (although Corey Taylor would be a close second).


9. Ian Paice

I'm ashamed to say I nearly forgot about this guy

If you're after great Hard Rock drummers who can still keep it up after almost half a century, look no further than Deep Purple's drummer, Ian Paice. The man has laid down percussion for such great Rock anthems as "Smoke On The Water", "Highway Star" and "Black Night" whilst also showing off his technical talents in songs such as "Fireball", "Speed King" and, my all-time favourite song, "Burn". Unlike some of the drummers on this list, Paice is capable of performing at a variety of different settings instead of going all-in balls out for every track and when I saw him live a few years ago, he earned his place on the list...well, he probably earned it decades before that during the Deep Purple Mk II sessions but you know what I mean!


10. Neil Peart

Predictable final choice? Yes. Awesome drummer? Fuck yes!

You can't have a list of great drummers without AT LEAST MENTIONING Neil Peart or Rush. Sporting a 360 degree kit and a powerful arsenal of percussive tools, Neil is regarded as one of the best (if not THE best) drummer in Rock boasting not just physical skill but also creative songwriting talents (although I acknowledge he's not the only one on this list you can say that about). Moving Pictures might not be my favourite Rush album but if I had to pick a collection of excellent songs for drummers, that'd be the first place I'd look. I mean, "Tom Sawyer", "Red Barchetta", freaking "YYZ", and that's only one album! His Prog Rock timekeeping and utilisation of practically anything inanimate that makes a specific noise when you hit it have helped put Rush on the map, although the other two band members aren't slouches either.


Before I finish this post, I feel I should list a couple of honourable mentions as I doubt I'll be writing another blog post on great drummers. The guys I've talked about up above earned their place for resonating with me personally a little bit more than these guys, although if I had to expand my list to include more than 10, these are the drummers who'd be next on the post:
Mike Portnoy
John Bonham
Mitch Mitchell
Chad Smith
Ringo Starr (what? I like him, screw you!)

However, just because I didn't include other Rock/Metal drummers doesn't mean I don't think they're awesome. It just means they didn't leap into my thoughts straight away when I asked myself "who's fucking great at drumming?". Who would you include in your list? Let me know in the comments or via Twitter.
Next time...I dunno, maybe an album review or Rapid Fire post.

Def Leppard - Def Leppard

Happy Halloween!
OK, let's look at this new Def Leppard album.

Def Leppard are one of those bands that the casual Rock fan probably will have heard of but will be unable to name more than about three of their songs. This probably isn't helped by the band's (or maybe just Joe Elliott's) idiotic decision to keep most of their back catalogue off services such as Spotify and iTunes, making it even harder to discover just how great this band were during the first couple of years of their career. However, if you have listened to & enjoyed a wide range of this band's music released between now and the mid-80's, this album might be to your tastes.
The eponymous album is named so because the track listing is essentially supposed to capture the essence of Def Leppard throughout their career, containing a little bit of Pyromania, a little bit of Slang and a generous helping of Hysteria. This is glaringly obvious from the album opener, "Let's Go", a song that I believe was deliberately written to conjure memories of better songs from the band such as "Pour Some Sugar On Me" or their last single "Undefeated". It's a decent song but a tepid introduction, especially with a name like "Let's Go" that implies action and excitement when performed by a band such as Def Leppard.
I wish I could say it's just the album opener that falls a bit flat but there are a few other deflated notes here and there too. For starters, Joe Elliott's singing lack the power that a good Hard Rock vocalist needs and there are several songs that suffer as a result of almost bored sounding vocals ("Invincible"). Then there are generic Hard Rock songs designed to be listened to a few times and then forgotten ("Wings Of An Angel"). At the end of the day, this isn't a triumphant comeback album, nor is it an experimental journey into the 21st Century for these 80's Rockers. It's a beefed up nostalgia trip for fans of heavily produced Arena Rock.

However, considering this is what the band pretty much promised during the promotion for Def Leppard a few months ago, I can hardly hold this against them. True to their word, there are many scattered fragments of the band's better known material peppering these songs such as the use of Hysteria era guitar synths and tones in "Dangerous" and "We Belong" respectively, not to mention the obligatory power ballad in the form of "Last Dance". Classic Def Leppard fans won't be disappointed and it may even reignite your passion for the band's older works if you've since gone off their material.
Not only that but the band have seemingly taken heavy inspiration from other Rock songs during the writing process for this album. "Blind Faith" is eerily similar to Soundgarden's "Black Hole Sun" at times and "Man Enough" flat out copies most of the structure to Queen's "Another One Bites The Dust" (even if, in my opinion, it does a far better job than Queen's song did). In fact, it's worth mentioning that Rick Savage's bass playing is possibly one of the album's shining positives, not just because of "Man Enough".
On top of this jaunt down memory lane, there are a couple of tracks that stand out due to trying something a bit different, such as acoustic number "Battle Of My Own" which achieves the impossible by making an acoustic song sound powerful. There's also "Energized" which gives the band a bit of a modern twist with electronic drum effects that will likely divide opinion on whether this is a good track. It doesn't sound like it was used as a gimmick to entice new fans (unlike the use of dubstep in The 2nd Law - Muse) but when paired with the aforementioned flat vocals, it's unlikely to strike a chord.

Def Leppard (album) won't win many new fans, if any at all. What it will do is give you several solid driving songs or stadium anthems to bang your head or stamp your feet to and since that was likely the band's intention, they've done a good job. It's not an amazing album but it is one I'd recommend to friends and family if they just wanted a collection of glamorised Hard Rock with a track listing that reads like Spinal Tap's discography to play in the background of their daily activities.
A lot of work has clearly gone into this album and I didn't dislike the majority of the songs so it's definitely not bad; it's just not great either so don't expect much from it. My rating for the album is 6/10 due to the good quality but lack of standout amazing songs. I would recommend giving it a listen before purchasing but you'll be lucky to find all the songs anywhere online for free.
After all, Def Leppard don't want you stealing their music because stealing something that someone else has created and listening to it for your own personal enjoyment is far worse than stealing something that someone else has created and tweaking it just enough to get away with calling it your own song, shortly before making damn sure people pay before listening to it. These guys would never think of doing that.


EDIT: The album is now available on Spotify, although the rest of their original material isn't at the time of posting this edit.