Tenology: Songs That Haven't Aged Well

Kicking things off in December is a blog post looking at ten Rock/Metal songs containing lyrics that probably wouldn't fly if released in 2018. These politically incorrect lyrics might not be overtly racist or sexist in their themes but they definitely contain lines that would trigger certain individuals, and with good reason too; after all, the past is a foreign country but unlike how we'd treat foreign countries and cultures now, let's take a humorous look at some of these offensive lines from songs you thought you loved before you realised just how horrible and tasteless some of the words were!

TRIGGER WARNING: This blog post will contain examples of...
Xenophobia
Homophobia
Sexism
Racism
Toxic masculinity/male privilege
And some lesser offences.


1. "Every Picture Tells A Story" - Rod Stewart

"The women I've known I wouldn't let tie my shoe,
They wouldn't give you the time of day,
But the slit-eyed lady knocked me off my feet,
God, I was glad I found her".

The story told in this picture is OFFENSIVE DEPICTIONS OF ASIAN PEOPLE!!!

I love this song for its great guitar-based melody and occasionally witty lyrics, although the lines about the "slit-eyed lady" in this song about a guy travelling the world just to get his end away don't do the track any favours. You could argue that Rod's singing it from the perspective of a young lad who still has a lot to learn about women and life, hence the ignorant views of the world, but at the end of the day, the repeated use of "slit-eyed lady" even after the character's found true love suggests it's not that simple. Factor in that Rod's actually started omitting lines about the Asian female during live performance and you've got a track that even the writer believes hasn't aged well, which is saying something considering that people generally get more racist as they grow old.


2. "Money For Nothing" - Dire Straits

"The little faggot with the earring and the makeup,
Yeah buddy, that's his own hair,
That little faggot got his own jet airplane,
That little faggot he's a millionaire".

The only thing you're getting for nothing in this song is HOMOPHOBIA!!!

Even if this song wasn't eight minutes long, there's no doubt in my mind that the verse about the "faggot" on TV would be cut or at least changed in live/radio play. Mark Knopfler has previously defended the lyric, stating that it's not coming from his perspective as a vocalist but rather the character's perspective in the song; a working man who says it how it is, even if that means using derogatory language. After years of controversy, Mark's changed the lyric to "Queenie" but you could still argue that the notion of a guy wearing earrings and makeup automatically making him homosexual is offensive in its own way. Thankfully, there are multiple edits of this track that remove that lyric so modern listeners who may not have heard the original lyrics can still enjoy the awesome guitar riffs and chorus without being subjected to hate.


3. "God & Guns" - Lynyrd Skynyrd

"God and guns keep us strong,
That's what this country was founded on".

Not exactly a form of prejudice but I don't see as many people cheering for this in 2018

Some people have assumed that "Gimme Back My Bullets" was Lynyrd Skynyrd's attempt at firing back against gun control, although that song was largely in reference to their chart positions with single releases. However, there's no doubt whatsoever that "God & Guns" is the band (not a character, the band themselves) showing full support of Christianity and the right to own things that are literally built to kill people. A decade ago, this song probably didn't raise many eyebrows when it was released. However, flash forward to 2018 where a school shooting happens every week in America and suddenly, the lyrics don't seem that persuasive. They come across as ignorant and repetitive due to lack of convincing arguments for owning firearms, although the music's good.


4. "Don't Try Suicide" - Queen

"Don't try suicide, nobody's worth it,
Don't try suicide, nobody cares".

Yeah, I don't think this one was ever considered for Bohemian Rhapsody...

Of all the songs in this list, "Don't Try Suicide" is the only one that hasn't aged well due to the lyrics AND music. The lyrics may be anti-suicide, which is fine, but the music and bouncing vocal melody of "Don't try suicide" is far too jolly and upbeat for a topic that many nowadays would consider the result of serious mental illness. There's also the blunt nature of the lyrics, claiming that "Nobody gives a damn" if you kill yourself. Whilst I can understand the reverse-psychology nature of the lyrics, surely someone in the band must've pointed out that telling someone who potentially wants to end their own life that they're worthless and unloved is a terrible idea.


5. "Illegal Alien" - Genesis

"The sun is shining so I head for the park,
With a bottle of Tequila and a new pack of cigarettes".

Back to the offensive lyrics with a hot batch of RACIAL STEREOTYPING!!!

There are a few lyrics I could've picked to demonstrate how poorly this song has aged but to me, the ones in the first verse do a good job. All the way through this song about a Mexican fellow who's decided to sneak across the border, Phil Collins sings with a noticeable accent that comes across as kinda off-putting now and then (particularly in the lyrics specified above). This might not be quite as startling as some of the entries on this list but I reckon if a band as popular as Genesis were around the time of this album's release came out with a song boiling a culture down to base-level stereotypes, there'd be at least a bit of uproar on the Internet.


6. "Make Love Like A Man" - Def Leppard

"Make love like a man,
I'm a man, that's what I am, yeah".

How about you make like a dated view of gender norms and get out of here?!

Another song with painfully embarrassing lyrics yet somewhat decent Hard Rock music, making it all the more difficult for someone who wants to listen to this song. Joe Elliott himself has claimed that the song probably hasn't aged too well due to sexist claims of toxic masculinity (not in this exact words, mind) and the band haven't played it live for a while...and yet, it was still included on Def Leppard's brand new compilation album The Story So Far... The Best Of Def Leppard. Also included on this album is the song "Man Enough" off the band's most recent album, not to mention a complete omission of any songs from On Through The Night, the band's first and greatest album to date. Smooth moves, lads!


7. "Island Girl" - Elton John

"Well she's black as coal but she burn like a fire,
And she wrap herself around you like a well-worn tire".

Rock of the Westies? More like Rock of the XENOPHOBIC SEXISM!!!

We've got a combination of triggers right here. A bit of racial stereotyping with the intentionally poor grammar and references to skin colour in the lyrics, mixed with some crass remarks about how she'll "wrap herself around you like a well-worn tire". Once again, it's a shame because the music is quite catchy and the vocal melody in the chorus is great. If the lyrics weren't about an "Island Girl" but some other kind of woman, maybe this song would be a bit more popular.


8. "(You Can Still) Rock In America" - Night Ranger

"You can still rock in America,
Ah yeah, it's alright".

Is Toxic Patriotism a thing? Let's go with TOXIC PATRIOTISM!!!

I could've picked many songs for this same reason. Originally, it was going to be "Born In The USA" - Bruce Springsteen but I feel like Night Ranger's song captures the attitude in a much more ignorant, over-the-top way. In the 80s, the "America, Fuck Yeah!!" state of mind was not only acceptable but also rewarded. Compare this to nowadays where the country is going through transitional period from world superpower to global embarrassment and spouting nonsense about how fucking awesome America is and how great it is to be American is kind of looked down upon, at least by most civilised societies. By the way, this isn't me being specifically anti-America; I think anyone showing the levels of patriotism for their country to the extent that Night Ranger did here also warrants the same reaction.


9. "Dio" - Tenacious D

"It's time to pass the torch,
You're too old to rock, no more rockin' for you".

Yes, THIS is the Tenacious D lyric that I'm picking for possibly causing offence

Tenacious D have written songs about fucking and squeezing out a Cleveland steamer on someone's chest but to me, the song that hasn't aged well is the one about legendary vocalist Ronnie James Dio. Tenacious D may have written it as a tribute to the man but the lyrics about him passing the torch and being taken to a retirement home come across as a little insensitive when you realise that Dio's since passed away. I know it wasn't meant to sound insensitive but they must've considered that Dio wasn't going to live forever and writing a song about him being unable to play music anymore so that Tenacious D can take his place instead would have the unintended consequence of making them sound a little...well, dickish?


10. "In The Summertime" - Mungo Jerry

"Have a drink, have a drive
Go out and see what you can find".

Advocating the consumption of alcohol whilst operating an automobile? Shame on Mungo Jerry!

The last entry on this list is quite special as it contains two separate lyrics with different reasons to potentially feel offended. First up, we have the ones mentioned above that gleefully advise drink driving for the sole purpose of finding a woman. Not a line that's aged well when you look at the way social attitudes towards drink driving has changed in the last 40 years but the second line is probably more concerning. Shortly after this lyric, we get: "If her daddy's rich, take her out for a meal, if her daddy's poor, just do what you feel". Combine this with the fact that we know alcohol is involved and WHAM! You've got yourself a piping hot serving of rape culture, right there! It's an easy lyric to miss when you're busy listening to the jovial melody and "CH! CH-CH!"s but trust me, it's in there and it's not a mindset that's taken lightly in 2018.


Have I missed any Rock/Metal songs with politically incorrect lyrics that need a spotlight shone on them? I've got a couple on the backburner for a sequel to this post but for now, there's your ten! There won't be a Spotify playlist for these songs as it doesn't really serve a purpose that showing and analysing the lyrics doesn't already fulfil.
COMING SOON: About six more posts before the end of the year!

Tenology: Great Guitarists In Rock/Metal

Another post, another subject that it's taken me way too long to write about.
I've written about overrated trends in Rock/Metal that have included musicians but I've never actually dedicated a blog post to musicians I admire. In this post, I'll be looking at ten guitarists firmly planted in the Rock/Metal genre that may or may not be personal favourites of mine.
As always, I'm hesitant to say "MY TOP TEN FAVOURITE EVER GUITARISTS" because I feel like there are probably some guitarists out there that I'd rate highly if I knew more of their work. As it stands right now, these are just 10 guitar players whom I'd like to shine my own personal spotlight on. Some will probably be hailed as exceptional guitarists all over the web and others may not get the love they deserve but ultimately, it's all down to my opinion and any notable absences aren't a reflection of my opinion on those specific guitarists...except Randy Rhoads, he's deliberately left out.


1. Donald "Buck Dharma" Roeser

This is a good picture. Thanks for ruining it, gettyimages.

Despite the fact that I'm not a huge Blue Oyster Cult fan, Buck Dharma is probably my number one favourite guitarist due to his ability to create epic riffs, sweet solos and sing decent lead vocals too. Whilst his guitar playing doesn't stand out as much as guitarists with iconic sounds such as Brian May or Richie Blackmore, the band could boast some of the best riffs Rock has to offer thanks to this man. Songs such as "Cities On Flame With Rock And Roll" and "(Don't Fear) The Reaper" proved he could write amazing single-note riffs (much better than Joe Perry, in my opinion) whereas songs like "Godzilla" and "7 Screaming Diz-Busters" showcased his talent for guitar solos and Classic Rock shredding.


2. John Petrucci

You know he's serious because he's got a knee up

You could probably choose any Rock related forum with Dream Theater or John Petrucci involved and find at least one comment praising his work...and with good reason too! Whilst each member of the band is shit hot at their chosen instrument, Petrucci shoots the band into the stratosphere of awesome Rock thanks to his excellent playing. At the first listen, his solos may sound like bog standard shredding but unlike other guitarists who are so focused on complex scales/arpeggios that they forget to add soul (not saying a word), each melody is well crafted and incredibly well executed. However, Petrucci isn't afraid to let loose and as a result we get songs with epic riffs and blistering solos like "As I Am" and "Constant Motion".


3. Eddie Van Halen

That's the face he has to pull to stop it from melting

I've dedicated several blog posts to writing about the original lineup Van Halen albums and one of the strongest attributes from all of them is the fretwork of EVH (along with Lee Roth's vocals). He's often credited with inventing two handed guitar tapping but some guitarists were doing it long before Van Halen's debut came out. He did popularise the technique and fire it into the mainstream, inspiring future guitarists for decades to come, but none of them quite mastered the skill of iconic riffs and solos like EVH. Not only that but during the early years, Eddie wasn't afraid to challenge himself and adapt his sound with each album rather than coasting on one specific skill. He might be known for "Eruption" but to me, "Spanish Fly" is the stronger song.


4. Dave Murray

I should've posted some pics of guitarists in different positions

Iron Maiden have had many guitarists over the years but the only one to appear on every studio album (and my personal favourite) is Mr Dave Murray. Currently one of three six-string wielding amigos with the band, Dave's guitar playing can be recognised by the soft yet high pitched sound that you tend to hear in most Iron Maiden solos. Adrian might be the main driving force behind the band's great riffs but Dave's the one bringing the thunder in the solos. Again, I've written about all of the band's studio albums on the blog before but I couldn't write this post without mentioning my favourite guitarist from my favourite band.


5. Gary Rossington

This man's single-handedly keeping Lynyrd Skynyrd alive

One of the founding and the last original member of Lynyrd Skynyrd, known for his slide guitar and clean sound. Lynyrd Skynyrd might only be known for a handful of songs but those songs have some damn fine guitar. "Sweet Home Alabama" has one of Rock's greatest riffs and I don't need to tell you about how fucking awesome the "Free Bird" is again. The band's back catalogue is full of great tunes containing excellent riffs ("Simple Man", "The Needle And The Spoon") and some underrated solos ("Call Me The Breeze", "I Know A Little") but to me, Rossington really showed off his talents on the band's exceptional live album, One More From The Road, where he took the band's existing material and turned them up to 11.


6. Tom Morello

I'm no expert but I'm pretty sure he's flipping off some dick in the audience

In my recent post on Audioslave's debut album, I praised Chris Cornell's vocals and Tom Morello's guitar playing. In a not so recent post, I wrote about crap songs saved by one standout amazing feature that I affectionately named after this guitarist in reference to his role in the band Rage Against The Machine. Without Tom, they'd be another mediocre modern Metal outfit but his playing amplifies the rest of the band. His riffs are heavy and his solos sound unlike any other guitarist due to his unique playing styles (the same can be said for certain Audioslave tracks like "Gasoline"). Now and then, he brought out the big guns in RATM songs like "Know Your Enemy" but even if he isn't showing off with great solos, one thing you can count on with his playing is that it rarely (if at all) sounds boring.


7. Dave Mustaine

Said it before & I'll say it again; has anyone ever seen this guy and Donald Trump in the same room?

Dave Mustaine's made waves in the past with some questionable political opinions (many of them being featured in Megadeth's lyrics) but as a guitarist, this guy fucking gets. it. done. He may not have been responsible for one of my favourite solos ("Tornado Of Souls" was largely written by Marty Friedman, another great guitarist who nearly made it to this list) but he was responsible for popularising the spider chord playing style you frequently hear in Thrash Metal. Plus, for all the rage and dickishness Mustaine showed in his early days, to create a band as great as Megadeth out of it with a massive collection of great Metal tunes is quite impressive. Just a shame he has the appearance of a dad who's used all his three genie wishes to become a Rock star.


8. John Frusciante

Pretty sure the photographer captured the exact moment John levelled up

Up until 2009, John was the guitarist for Red Hot Chili Peppers but that wasn't his first time leaving the band. His clean tone is synonymous with the band's sound and whilst the band's riffs/solos are fairly straightforward, John was a clear believer in less is more. I've said before on the blog that I prefer softer Alternative RHCP songs to heavier Funk ones and that's mostly down to John's playing style. However, I will say that songs like "Suck My Kiss" and "Can't Stop" that ARE heavy tracks by the band are only as good as they are because of their solos and riffs respectively, and that's all John. That's all I really need to say on the guy but I'd be remiss if I didn't highlight one song in particular; "Snow ((Hey Oh))". A friend of mine who's seen them live reported that John played the riff perfectly without looping it all the way through, which is fucking impressive. It's not an easy riff to master and John makes it sound like "Smoke On The Water", so hats off to the man!


9. Eric Johnson

It was a choice between Johnson, Satriani, Vai or Malmsteen...I think I made the right choice

To me, one of the strongest attributes a musician can have is to be able to alert everyone to their presence with only a few notes. Eric Johnson has that absolutely nailed. His music always sounds so dreamy and magical, even when he's shredding away. He might not be as technically skilled as virtuosos such as Satriani or Batio but it's not all about how fast you can play. To me, Johnson's music is stronger on the whole than most of the music of those artists because of his unique melodies and combination of different styles to make exceptional Rock music. He's also pretty adept at other instruments too, although he's here entirely because of his guitar playing.


10. Slash

Be honest, how many of you saw this coming?

The ultimate image of a badass Rock guitarist. I don't know what your opinion of Slash is but I've seen several sources claiming he's overrated. I would agree if I hadn't seen him live but watching him flawlessly bust out an 18 minute solo during "Rocket Queen" in front of me eyes without showing any signs of fatigue thirty years after his "peak" performances shows stamina that I'd like to see any of those naysayers match. Not just that but come on, his riffs are fucking great. Guns N' Roses stuff is what he's known for (even if I personally think the "Paradise City" riff sounds a little janky) but his solo material contains way better guitar songs, as you'd expect. Definitely better Hard Rock albums than anything GNR put out; it's just a shame him and Axl patched it up, as he's genuinely much better without that shit awful excuse for a vocalist.


Do you agree with my list? Again, this isn't a Top 10 list and I know there are other amazing guitarists out there that are absent and may appear on a sequel to this post if I feel like writing one but who would you rank highly in your own personal collection of great guitarists and why?
In future, I plan on writing similar posts for bassists, drummers and vocalists too so if you have anyone you believe deserves some love, let me know here or via Twitter.

Shout Out: One More From The Road - Lynyrd Skynyrd

Time for another shout out post & this time, I'm going to talk about one of my all-time favourite albums. However, what makes this special is that it's also a live album. Usually, I stay away from live albums unless somebody recommends a song or two. However, after hearing some of the tracks, I decided to check the rest of the 2001 deluxe edition out & instantly fell in love.
Unlike previous shout outs where I'm reviewing several albums in one batch, One More From The Road is a two disc collection of 24 songs recorded during several performances at Atlanta's Fox Theatre in 1976. Since eight of those are alternate versions of tracks already on the album, I'll only be talking about the first 16 songs.

So why is this one of my favourite albums instead of the individual LPs the songs came from or a bog-standard compilation that contains most of these tracks anyway? Firstly, the obvious context. If memory serves correctly, I received this album on my 17th birthday & hadn't heard the original versions of over half the songs on it. I've listened to most of them now but I know there's a part of me that prefers the live versions just because it was my first experience with the music. Despite this, my love for the album isn't just blind nostalgia and when I say "obvious context", I'm not just referring to my discovery.
As I mentioned earlier, this was recorded in 1976, the year before the tragic plane crash that killed several crew/band members & ended what's now considered to be the classic Skynyrd era. This album captures the band in their prime and there isn't a single dull note in any of the songs. Ronnie Van Zant's vocals are pitch perfect from start to finish. Steve Gaines, Allen Collins & Gary Rossington are all on excellent form during their respective performances of main riffs and solos. Even Billy Powell's piano solo in "Call Me The Breeze" is fantastic, as are the efforts from the rest of the band.
I would assume one of the biggest differences in quality between the original live album and 2001 deluxe edition lies in the audio mix between the music and the audience. In the latter, you can hear the well deserved cheering and applause at the start of a track and right at the end. They've also slightly muted the crowd so that they don't distract you from the band, just as live albums should be arranged. You could listen to these songs halfway through & if you hadn't heard the tracks before, you could easily assume they were studio recordings.

As for the tracks chosen, all the hits are here as well as several songs you can't find on pre-Street Survivors albums. Whether you're a Skynyrd fan or not, there'll be something for any fan of classic Southern Rock on here but there's also something that puts it above the studio albums. Most Lynyrd Skynyrd tracks have the same irritating flaw; they fade out at the end, often during a guitar solo. Fortunately, it's a lot easier for a band to just end the song naturally rather than fade out during a live performance so all of the songs that fade out in studio recordings have proper endings.
The biggest downside to this is that it probably means you won't be able to listen to "Sweet Home Alabama" or "Free Bird" again without wishing they recorded a studio version of the ending solos. That really is the only downside, though. The song choices are great, the recording quality is fantastic, the band's performance is exceptional and it's CDs like this that stop me from completely writing off live albums. In other words, it's a 9/10 from me.

1. Workin' For MCA

2. I Ain't The One

3. Saturday Night Special

4. Searchin'

5. Travelin' Man

6. Simple Man

7. Whiskey Rock-A-Roller

8. The Needle & The Spoon

9. Gimme Back My Bullets

10. Tuesday's Gone

11. Gimme Three Steps

12. Call Me The Breeze

13. T For Texas (Blue Yodel #1)

14. Sweet Home Alabama

15. Crossroads

16. Free Bird

Unlike other bands who have the occasional great live track in a collection of crap ("Young Man Blues" - The Who springs to mind), this whole album flows so perfectly that it's definitely something you need to buy as a collection instead of a few random singles.

If you have any other live albums you recommend, list them in the comments. I doubt I'll ever enjoy a live album as much as I enjoyed One More From The Road but even if it was half as good as this album, it'll still be better than pretty much all the other live collections I've listened to.