Christmas Christmas by Cheap Trick Cheap Trick isn't exactly a brand new studio album as 8/12 songs are covers, although it's not a collection of traditional Christmas carols/tunes awkwardly recorded as Rock songs either. Most of the covers included are of Rock songs with Christmas themes but there are a couple of new tracks written by the band, such as album opener "Merry Christmas Darlings". Naturally, it contains all the hallmarks of a Christmas Pop/Rock song from the rhythm you can dance to to the festive choice of percussion but it sounds more like the band's attempt to rerecord Slade's hit "Merry Xmas Everybody", an odd choice as they actually went ahead and rerecorded that song for this album anyway.
It doesn't try to be anything different than a celebration of Christmas music we all know and (mostly) love from the past, which makes it a perfect album opener. As much as Christmas music has begun to grate on me over the last year or so, I can't deny that there's something special about the Christmas singles from the 70s compared to the hollow or depressing shite that's put out now. Maybe it's just because it's had several decades to become part of established tradition or maybe they're just better Pop songs than ones whining about how it "doesn't really feel like Christmas at all". Either way, Cheap Trick made the right choice with the general theme of the song selection in order to create a proper Christmas Rock album.
Previous Rock bands/artists have tried turning carols and public domain tunes into Rock songs before (Bruce Springsteen and Twisted Sister come to mind) and it always sounds fucking naff. It sounds like the festive equivalent of rapping grannies and whilst Cheap Trick did stoop to that level with their version of "Silent Night", the lion's share of the album features covers of lesser known songs by The Kinks, Ramones and Chuck Berry that were meant to be blasted out out speakers, not sung by children door to door in the snow.
However, there are a few downsides to this commendable attempt at bringing the energy and fun back to Christmas songs. Some of the song choices are questionable, such as the combination of Bluesy "Please Come Home For Christmas" and operatic "Remember (Christmas)" from the 1974 soundtrack to the film Son Of Dracula that ironically sucks all the life force out of the record like cabin depressurisation during a flight gone disastrously wrong. They were likely included as a sort of tongue-in-cheek attempt to be completely different from previous Christmas compilations, although it's a shame they're dull as dishwater.
Then there's the quality of the Rock covers in general. As ambitious as Cheap Trick were in their vision, they really fucked up the delivery. "Father Christmas" is one of two Christmas songs I don't dislike at the moment and Cheap Trick absolutely ruined it with a slower tempo and complete lack of passion in their recording. The whole point of the song is that it's meant to be a punchy, anti-Christmas anthem about poverty that doesn't come across as mawkish as the Band Aid wank. It should be feisty and gritty like The Kinks pulled off but the cover fails on every level. I wouldn't mind as much if it was just my favourite Christmas song they screwed up but it's not the only dud on the album.
"Merry Xmas Everybody" is a limp recreation of the iconic anthem recorded by Slade, as proven by the band's choice to not feature Robin Zander screaming "IT'S CHRIIIIIIIIIIIISTMAAAAAAAS" at the end. If Cheap Trick know they've got nothing on Noddy, why bother in the first place? Covers have three reasons for existing: tribute to the original in a faithful rerecording, making a song your own through various changes or bland recreation in an attempt to capitalise on someone else's talent. Since the band did nothing to alter the song in any overly-discernible way (other than off-putting vocal delivery of lines throughout) and they didn't have the bottle to go full Slade, it starts to come across as more of the third option than the other two.
As for the two remaining original Christmas songs, "Our Father Of Life" and "Christmas Christmas", the former sounds more like a traditional hymn and the latter starts off like a great Rock song before ending at the 1:39 mark and filling the rest of the song with pointless white noise. It could've turned things around but I suppose it's fitting that the album's title track starts off promising before falling to shit and leaving you with a bad taste in your ears...yes, your ears. My ears taste like crap now thanks to this album.
Whether you're a fan of Cheap Trick's crowd-pleasing style of Rock or Christmas hits from yesteryear, Christmas Christmas is a let down. The biggest positives are gained from the idea of the album itself but once it's brought to life, the band fail to deliver on what they presumably thought sounded amazing on paper too. I rate it 4/10 for some serviceable filler tracks but mostly the ambition behind it, as I feel like I gained no festive cheer or merriment from any of the songs apart from the first minute and a half of the final track which was promptly dragged into a dimly lit car park and given a good kicking by the last 35 seconds anyway.
You might like some of the covers if you've never heard the originals but I honestly think you'd gain more from a Spotify playlist containing the three original Cheap Trick songs and the original versions of all their covers, minus "Silent Night" unless you have a soft spot for Christmas carols. I'm hesitant to say this album's just another lump of coal in the stocking because coal at least has some value and purpose that it fulfils adequately; this album's more like the excessive plastic wrapping inside the packaging for toys that takes ages to dismantle and only succeeds in pissing you off. Merry fucking November.
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