Here Is The News: August 2018 Edition

NEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWSS!!!
Yeah, more events from the world of Rock/Metal, crafted for your pleasure.

METALHEAD FINALLY 'GETS' SYSTEM OF A DOWN

A man from Surrey who has spent the last fifteen years being a fan of classic Heavy Metal bands such as Iron Maiden, Megadeth and Black Sabbath has finally made the mental breakthrough needed to understand the music of System Of A Down. The man had been aware of them for some time but it was only recently that he listened to one of their songs and not recoiled in horror or disgust at their unique style of Nu-Metal.

System Of A Down (pictured left) are known for loud, traditional Metal riffing paired with screeching, operatic vocals as showcased in signature songs like "Chop Suey!" and "B.Y.O.B". The band aren't afraid to embrace aggressive wackiness either, particularly in songs such as "Vicinity Of Obscenity". It was this song that the man from Surrey listened to when he had his epiphany, realising that the band weren't just a bunch of angry clowns and actually had some talent in their musicianship and songwriting.

When asked about the experience, the man stated "I've never really been a fan of bands like System Of A Down or Slayer but after years of listening to Thrash Metal and building up a tolerance to fast riffing and progressively more abrasive vocals, my tastes have toughened up to the point that I can hear "Angel Of Death" and actually nod my head along to what I assume is the music. I never thought the same thing would happen with System Of A Down".

According to the man (not pictured right), he was casually listening to one of the Heavy Metal playlists on Spotify when he heard the SOAD track. He told us "It was supposed to be an 'Old School Metal' playlist but whoever made it clearly didn't realise what they were making, as it contained songs by bands like Rammstein and some random solo stuff from Metal musicians". He went on to say that he originally intended to change the playlist after sitting through the first minute of "Before I Forget" - Slipknot but was "too lazy". Eventually, the SOAD song appeared on the playlist, causing quite the shock to the man from Surrey.

"Initially, I enjoyed the music but once I heard Serj's voice, I couldn't believe that I was actually liking the song. I gave the song a full listen and ended up loving it!". Since then, the man has sampled music from other fairly contemporary Metal bands such as Dethklok and Five Finger Death Punch, finding that he isn't immediately repulsed in the same way he would've been upon hearing their music just a few years ago. When asked if he would go to a System Of A Down show, the man claimed that it's still early days and he doesn't want to rush into something like that without proper protection., although he's still eager to experiment with his newly adapted taste in Metal.

JUDAS PRIEST ANNOUNCE SECOND FAREWELL TOUR

Legendary Metal band Judas Priest have announced that they intend to call it a day after one last farewell tour next year. The 2019 farewell tour, entitled the "Sold Out Tour", will start in Argentina, moving across the planet to the Americas, down to Japan, around Europe, a few dates back in South America before finishing up with one show in the UK. According to the tour manager, it's the band's most "confusingly ambitious" tour to date.

Judas Priest (pictured left) have decided that it's time to call it quits once again after dwindling returns on their latest world tour to promote Firepower, the most recent album at the time of writing this article. Ian Hill, the band's bassist, has stated that he doubts Firepower will be their last album but despite this assertion, a press release on the band's website stated "The Sold Out Tour will be the last opportunity to hear new or old Judas Priest material. We really mean it this time".

The band were referring to their 2011/2012 Epitaph World Tour, supposedly a farewell tour after original guitarist K.K. Downing left the band to be replaced by Richie Faulkner. However, after the success of the tour and the demand for more Metal, Judas Priest decided to scrap their retirement plans and continue touring/recording new music anyway. This decision definitely came after the end of the tour and certainly wasn't planned beforehand in an attempt to increase ticket sales for what was essentially just a greatest hits tour after diminishing interest in the band's new music. It wasn't.

When asked for details on the band's Sold Out tour, the band's promoter Slim Chimbles (part time band promoter, part time owner of a second-hand car dealership) claimed "This tour will be the one to see! All the band are at the top of their game and are ready to wow audiences all over the world with fan favourites and some new songs that the band learnt for their last tour that they feel more comfortable playing live than old deep cuts. However, if you've ever wanted to see Judas Priest live, you'd better get your tickets now before you miss the chance to see Rob Halford performing whilst the rest of the band play "Breaking The Law". If you buy tickets now, you'll be in for a real surprise! Also, tickets are non-refundable and pre-purchases require a 40% deposit. Rock & Roll!"

The second farewell tour and, indeed, Judas Priest themselves have been criticised by some fans for what appears to be a hollow cash grab by an ageing band who are evidently more interested in making money than keeping Rock alive, designed to con a younger generation of metalheads who didn't have the opportunity to see Judas Priest in their prime whilst misleading loyal fans (who perhaps don't have the disposable income or time necessary to frequently go to gigs) to see them instead of a band who wouldn't openly lie about their intentions. However, many fans have criticised the band for other reasons too.

SOUTHERN ROCK BAND COMPLETELY LOSES IDENTITY

The Southern Rock band Devils And Angels have finally changed their name and roster of members so many times that none of them can remember what the band used to be called when they first formed in the early 70s. The (possibly super) group are halfway through touring America with Black Stone Cherry although it's unknown if people are going to see them because they want to hear material from the recently formed Devils And Angels or if they're hoping to hear classics from a long-gone Southern Rock band that one or more of the members may have been a part of several decades ago.

Lead guitarist Hughie Woodpecker had this realisation during a recent interview where a music journalist asked him if Devils And Angels planned on playing any of their "earlier work", prompting Hughie's eyes to glaze over as he desperately tried to search his memory banks for the band he started out in. Fortunately, the music journalist changed the subject and asked if he preferred his time playing in his original band or with Lynyrd Skynyrd (pictured left) in the 90s. Since Hughie could vaguely remember sharing a stage with the Lynyrd Skynyrd flag behind him, he answered the latter.

Other band members faced similar problems recalling their origins. Earl Downs II could've sworn he joined the band when they were The Allman Fogerty Project back in the 80s but couldn't recall whether they were The Allman Brothers Band, Creedence Clearwater Revival or a completely different entity before that. Similarly, members of other Southern Rock bands such as The Outlaws and .38 Special have since reached out to confirm that they were a different band to Devils And Angels, narrowing down the list of potential 70s Southern Rock groups they could have once been.

The mystery has become somewhat of a challenge for the Internet as tech-savvy Southern Rock fans have taken to forums to determine the very first incarnation of Devils And Angels. Many clues have been posted such as quotes from interviews implying memories of playing on stage with long haired guitarists, female backing vocalists and at least one man wearing a cowboy hat. Sadly, no definite answer has been uncovered yet but the last significant clue was a grainy photo of the band's guitarist and bassist sharing a stage with members of Blackfoot or Molly Hatchet (pictured right many years later).

Regardless of the band's origins, Devils And Angels continue to tour and play catchy Southern Rock numbers recorded over the last twenty years. The band still love playing live and have no intention of calling it quits just yet. Members of the band are still hoping to discover the truth behind their origin for a multitude of reasons although it's suspected that the main one is knowing whether or not they have to pay royalties for covering what could be their own material.

Stay tuned for more Tenology posts/news in the coming months!