However, much like good songs on Meat Loaf albums, you can find some great Christmas tracks among the shite if you know where to look. I had planned on writing a Tenology post about ten of those songs but at the time of writing this post, I couldn't find ten that I actually love listening to.
With that in mind, I've extended the parameters to include songs that sound like they fit in with the Winter season. I felt this was appropriate because it gives you something relatively festive to listen to if you're sick of Mariah Carey and Michael Buble, even if they aren't technically Christmas songs. Right, let's see how this goes!
1. "Merry Xmas Everybody" - Slade
Let's get this one out the way, as I'm sure some of you despise it. I really like Slade but get annoyed by the fact that this seems to be their most famous song. I guess it means none of the band will ever go poor due to Christmas licensing royalties but it's a shame that some of their Glam Rock or even Hard Rock tracks don't get the same level of attention. Anyway, I'm supposed to be talking about this song. Having seen Slade perform it live without Noddy belting out "IT'S CHRIIIIIIIIIIIISTMAAAAAAAAAS", I think it's fair to say Noddy Holder makes this song what it is. I like it but it's definitely towards the bottom of my top Christmas song list.
2. "Fight The Good Fight" - Triumph
The first Christmasish song in the list, mostly due to the intro having a choir, synth and acoustic guitar. It's a top notch Hard Rock song in general but it just seems to sound right around this time of year. Also, depending on your attitude towards Christmas, a song about keeping strong in the face of adversity might be right up your alley.
3. "Step Into Christmas" - Elton John
Most Christmas songs have some kind of musical or lyrical gimmick to make them stand out. Sadly, this is often the thing that gets on everyone's tits when overplayed. What's nice about this track is that as well as being a solid Glam Rock tune, there's nothing about it that gets up your nose. It's just a bog standard song that's pleasant to listen to, which is what most of us need to balance out the noise of everything else.
4. "Wanted Dead Or Alive" - Bon Jovi
I'll admit this link is a little tenuous but the gentle chimes at the start are enough for me to think of Christmas, which makes you ponder why they were included in the first place as they have nothing to do with the Wild West like the rest of the song. Next time you're at a festive market and hear wind chimes (assuming there's a stall selling wind chimes), imagine the rest of this song playing and you'll understand why I've included it on this list.
5. "In Dulci Jubilo" - Mike Oldfield
An instrumental Folk song with two guitar solos? Count me in! This is probably my second favourite Christmas song as, again, it's very difficult to get angry about any part of it. It's also one of the few Christmas songs I would ever want to dance to, if I had to dance. Sadly, because it's an instrumental, I get the feeling that it's often snubbed when it comes to Christmas tunes on the radio or TV. Luckily, it'll always have a place in my heart unless something horrible happens to me with this song playing in the background.
6. "Fooling Yourself (The Angry Young Man)" - Styx
It might not be to everyone's tastes but if you can stand Pop Prog, you'll probably enjoy this one next December. A combination of an upbeat rhythm with semi-festive sounding synth makes this more of a Christmasish song than some of Styx's other tracks such as "Mr Roboto" or "Renegade". Also, the final synth solo definitely sounds like something out of a Christmas tune.
7. "Merry Christmas Everyone" - Shakin' Stevens
I'll admit, this song is JUST starting to annoy me. It's the opening line, more than anything. "Snow is falling, all around me, children playing, having fun...". That hasn't been the case for the last, I dunno, five years at least. Snow never falls at Christmas and kids aren't having fun, they're all indoors either bored or checking the same three webpages over and over again. However, after that line, the song gets a lot better. It's merry, it's catchy and it's inoffensive...unless you're a touchy Muslim, of course.
8. "Good Company" - Queen
I may be clutching at straws here with this Beatlesque number but hear me out! Firstly, there's the lyrical content. It's telling you to take care of your close associates and "keep good company", something that some people definitely need to remember at Christmas. Secondly, there's the use of ukulele and a bouncy rhythm, making it sound like the kind of bubbly yet catchy song you'd expect to hear at Christmas. Thirdly, Brian May's guitar tones almost sound like woodwind instruments, something that isn't uncommon in a Christmas track. Finally, and this isn't really a valid point but I figure why not go for it, the album this track hails from was released on the 21st November, which is close enough to Christmas for me to feel it earns a place here.
9. "Father Christmas" - The Kinks
THIS is my favourite Christmas song. Fantastic riffs, awesome chorus, it's a proper rocking Christmas song that actually has the balls to reveal Santa Claus' identity in the first verse, which is probably one of the reasons you don't hear it on the radio. Bottom line is I love it to bits and have yet to get annoyed by it, especially since I only really listen to it one month a year...maybe two, if I stumble across it whilst listening to other Kinks songs.
10. "Killing In The Name" - Rage Against The Machine
Hey, this IS sort of a Christmas song! It was a Christmas No. 1 in the UK so it's as much of a Christmas song as any of the toss that comes from The X Factor every fucking year. It's the only time in the last decade that I've actually been excited to hear the Top 10 countdown for Christmas and I doubt anything will ever top the moment that I heard that first power chord from the song on the radio.
Are there any non Christmas songs that remind you of the festive season? Let me know in the comment section or on Twitter along with the reason why if you're not too busy preparing for tomorrow.
Have a merry Christmas and I'll see you next week for something different!
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