Lower The Bar - Steel Panther

Well this is a sharp contrast to my last review but here we are. I'm reviewing the latest Steel Panther album because all the real bands got their shit together last year instead.

Steel Panther have always been a band I tend to stray away from when searching for new music as I know I'm never going to listen to their material enough to justify owning it in the first place. It's not that they suck or that I have a personal hatred for any particular member of the band, it's just that I'm not a big enough asshole to blast their music out my car or sit in private rocking out to what's clearly a massive parody of their own genre. Everything I've heard of the band suggest they have one dimension, maybe two at a push; generic Hair Metal numbers with uninspired lyrics about sex and occasionally power ballads with a bit more thought put into the quality of the lyrical songwriting.
Album opener "Goin' In The Backdoor" is firmly in the first category. The guitarwork may be solid but the structure and rhythm is fairly typical of your bog standard Hair Metal band like Poison or Motley Crue...but mostly Poison. There are plenty of these songs dotted throughout the album such as "Pussy Ain't Free" and "Wrong Side Of The Tracks (Out In Beverly Hills)"; great music, embarrassing lyrics that prevents the song from being likable. However, to the band's credit, they really do get the music just right. You can pick a series of songs from 80s Hair Metal playlists with tracks off this album thrown in random places and they'd blend together perfectly despite there being a 30 year gap in between.
There's also the hint of some musical development as several tracks sound less like Hair Metal B-sides and more like Hard Rock singles. "Anything Goes" still has silly lyrics but the use of synth, David Lee Roth screeches and epic riffs give it a Van Halen-esque quality, along with unwritten KISS tune "I Got What You Want" and "Poontang Boomerang", even if the latter flat out steals the chord sequence from "Blackout In The Red Room" - Love/Hate. There are also tracks clearly taking influence from other Rock outfits from the 70s such as "Walk Of Shame" containing a Joe Perry guitar riff and a cover of Cheap Trick's "She's Tight" rounding the album off nicely.

These are all songs that would've been vastly improved if the lyrics weren't so blatant and crass, even if that is Steel Panther's entire shtick. They should've taken a page out of Tenacious D's book and released two versions of the album; one with the original lyrics and one with clean ones that sound much funnier when you're left to imagine what they're actually singing. Sure, this could be seen as them selling out to get more radio play but they are Hair Metal. When was the last time you heard a great Hair Metal album that wasn't written with the intent of raking in cash and pussy?
Some tracks are just about passable on the lyrical front, such as power ballad "That's When You Came In". You can justify crude lyrics if they're presented in a relatively innocent or tongue-in-cheek way (see "Christmas Time (Don't Let The Bells End)" - The Darkness or the heavier Cheap Trick songs) as opposed to flat out singing about how much you like the feel of your dick in someone's arse. You can call me a prude but it's not a matter of me finding the lyrics distasteful; they're just not funny anymore. There's only so long the joke can go on for and four albums in, it's getting pretty fucking stale.
"Wasted Too Much Time" is a good example of where the band succeed and fail all in one song. If you've never heard Steel Panther before and listen just up to the first minute, it has the power to be hilarious. It starts off like a Hair Metal power ballad and you think it's going to be another break-up song with cringe-worthy lyrics but then it gets to the chorus and it sounds like a funny take on all those godawful heartbreak hymns. It would be a great joke if used as a snippet in a comedy film, just like This Is Spinal Tap did with select tracks. However, just like many tracks from This Is Spinal Tap, it can't stand up on its own feet when presented as an actual song.

Similar to how earlier albums experimented with branching into Whitesnake and Warrant style songs, Lower The Bar takes more of a plunge into Hard Rock territory but without toning some of the lyrics down, it's all for naught. However, this is the catch-22 of Steel Panther. Their entire appeal is the over-the-top nature of their lyrics paired with well written Hair Metal/Hard Rock music. If they change the foundations of their music, they risk losing fans without standing out enough to gain new ones but if they remain the same for another four albums, they also risk losing fans to bands that are adapting and challenging themselves to make new, exciting material.
Steel Panther need to make a decision as to whether they want to risk losing elitist fans by going more commercial, continue treading water whilst hoping for the best or push the parody even further by creating an entire mythology for the band and releasing a "90s Hair Metal album" that signifies their "decline", only with better music and cleverer lyrics. I don't see that happening any time soon, though, so I guess we can expect another balls to the wall record with fast paced songs about fingering, 69ing, sex addiction and Nutella sandwiches (the sex act, not the food. Don't look it up; you've been warned).
I rate this album 5/10 for having some pretty sweet tunes, marred by off-putting lyrics though they may be. However, I can't bring myself to say that Lower The Bar is anything better than average and would only recommend this to fans of Steel Panther or Hair Metal music as opposed to Hair Metal songs. Also imbeciles who can hear the same joke hundreds of times and piss themselves laughing with every delivery of the word "cock", provided they can stomach the sound of 80s Rock instead of their usual musical diet of dubstep, chart music and The Killers.

Guardians Of The Galaxy: Awesome Mixes And Moments

Yesterday, I saw Guardians Of The Galaxy Vol. 2 and was inspired to write a blog post about the fabled Awesome Mixes from both films (although mostly this one). If you want my thoughts on the film in general, feel free to read my lengthy tweet rant/review. However, this blog post is dedicated entirely to the collection of Classic Rock/Pop songs that are just as important in the Guardians Of The Galaxy films as the space battles or the words "I am Groot"; even the title of the film sounds like the name of a musical compilation. That being said, there are going to be some minor spoilers dotted throughout this post so if you haven't seen Guardians Of The Galaxy Vol. 2 yet and want to, come back later.

No, this isn't the cover for the soundtrack. It's the film poster and it's pretty fucking cool. It's action packed, it's got the main characters in dynamic poses and the typical blue and orange combination you tend to find on almost every film poster has a vibrant feel to it rather than the usual grainy tints. The reason I'm writing about this instead of David Bowie or Norman Greenbaum is because you could look at this poster with no context aside from the knowledge that the soundtrack is built from songs from the 70s/80s and assume the soundtrack would be full of Hard Rock.
It looks like the sort of film that'd be loaded with AC/DC and the like, not Chicago and Fleetwood Mac. In fact, the trailers for this film used their most action packed songs and even then, they changed the mix to add more emphasis to the percussion in order to punctuate the action beats. So is this misleading and disappointing? Should I demand the third film be loaded with Hard Prog and roaring riffs to make up for the Soft Rock soundtrack? Of course I fucking shouldn't, but then you all knew that anyway. Whilst it's no secret that I prefer my Rock music to actually Rock, I can appreciate a more subdued soundtrack provided it serves a purpose...and this one definitely does.
When Guardians Of The Galaxy (the first one) came out, the soundtrack took people by surprise. I wasn't a big fan of it personally, as any soundtrack that contains "Cherry Bomb" - The Runaways is never going to be perfect, but it had its moments and it's always good to see a film with an old soundtrack. Not only that but the soundtrack had relevance to the plot and gave us some insight into the character of Peter Quill. By the end of the film, Peter finds out that his deceased mum created a second mix tape, teasing the sequel and all the musical possibilities it could contain. As soon as the second film was confirmed, everyone was excited but not just for more adventures from these bunch of intergalactic a-holes. It's pretty neat that a soundtrack can generate this much hype, especially one that isn't full of contemporary chart toppers or acoustic Indie shite.

Director and writer James Gunn knew how important the soundtrack was for the sequel and this time the song choices, rather than the overall music, contained significance. Whilst there are throwaway tracks that were included for fun reasons to contrast the events taking place in the film, such as "Mr Blue Sky" - ELO being used in the exceptional opening sequence or "Southern Nights" - Glen Campbell during a scene where Rocket fucks with a bunch of predatory ravagers, it felt like the lyrics and themes of tracks were the guiding influence this time around.
The first song in the film is "Brandy (You're A Fine Girl)" - Looking Glass and whilst its initial use has no real importance other than to drive a point home about a character's love of music, it's later used by Ego (a living planet) as a metaphor for his relationship with Peter's mother and their role in the universe. I'm still not sure if I agree with its use in that sense, as it felt a little off-putting watching Kurt Russell recite the lyrics as spoken word whilst the song was playing (think Shatner's cover of "Rocket Man"). Plus, Ego claims the song was one of Peter's mum's favourites...so she included it on the second mix tape she made?
There's also the use of "My Sweet Lord" - George Harrison when some of the gang arrive on Ego's planet, a superb choice due to the way your perception of the song's meaning and tone change with repeated viewings of the film, and "Father And Son" - Cat Stevens during the final emotional scene, a song that perfectly fit both musically and lyrically. Whilst some songs work in this sense, others fall a bit flat. "Surrender" - Cheap Trick in the credits felt forced due to the line about mummy and daddy in the chorus, especially when you consider the fact that surrendering wasn't an option for any of the characters by the end. It was likely chosen for the aforementioned lyrics and it having more of an upbeat tone to go with the silly post-credits sequences, although I would've argued there were better songs to pick from.

The main strength of the soundtracks comes from contrasting tones, such as the use of "Hooked On A Feeling" - Blue Swede as one of the characters is tortured in the first film or "Come A Little Bit Closer" - Jay & The Americans as several characters murder an entire ship of criminals after escaping captivity. It works on different levels but it also strikes a chord with you due to being memorable in its atypical usage. The song can influence the subtext of the scene or the scene can give new meaning to the song, rather than compatible music and moments working alongside each other for a singular purpose.
One of the few weaknesses comes in the use of well known songs. Thankfully, Guardians Of The Galaxy Vol. 2 only had one misstep and that was the use of "The Chain" - Fleetwood Mac. It's a great tune with two distinct sections, the latter being the one most people probably remember. However, even though it was used brilliantly in the trailer, it has no presence in the film. It reminds me of when the TV show Ashes To Ashes used the song "In The Air Tonight" - Phil Collins but without the iconic drum intro. The show's creator claimed it was because he didn't want people watching the episode and waiting for that moment without paying attention to what was happening in the scene but he got it completely wrong; that's all people are going to do.
It might feel cliche to use well known sections alongside visual cressendos in your film or show but to me, it's better than not using them and tricking your audience into waiting for something that never comes and subsequently forcing them to realise that they haven't been paying proper attention to what was going on. Not only that but the first use of "The Chain" plays during a scene with dialogue. Again, if you use a well known song in the background of a scene with people talking, people are probably going to focus on the well known song. Granted that most of the music playing during scenes with dialogue is relatively obscure in comparison but "The Chain" needed to be less obvious in the mix.

Overall, the Awesome Mixes in Guardians Of The Galaxy are great. The second one was a lot stronger than the first but still fell a bit short of being what I would call an amazing soundtrack. However, both soundtracks should be commended for not taking the easy or uninspired choices (see Watchmen) and since a third film has been confirmed, I'm looking forward to listening to all Classic Rock/Pop tracks out of the 300 potential songs that will definitely be featured if the tease at the end of Guardians Of The Galaxy Vol. 2 is to be trusted.
On a separate note, I composed a playlist of songs a while back that I would probably blast out on repeat if I were travelling through space (don't ask). It's definitely not the same material you'd get in the Guardians Of The Galaxy films but if you're interested, have a listen on the Spotify app below.

Guitar Hero: Van Halen

I know I "reviewed" the soundtrack to Guitar Hero Live recently but this technically isn't a review. This is one of those posts where I go through the entire setlist to a Guitar Hero/Rock Band game and decide whether the tracks deserve a Thumbs Up or Thumbs Down based on a mix of personal taste, appropriate use in the game and how fun the songs are to play on expert guitar. This time, it's the turn of the franchise's bucktoothed nephew, Guitar Hero: Van Halen, even though I've arguably dedicated enough time to the band when I wrote about their 70s-80s David Lee Roth era studio albums.
I've previously done this with the games Guitar Hero: Warriors Of Rock, Guitar Hero 3: Legends Of Rock, Guitar Hero: World Tour, The Beatles Rock Band, Rock Band 2 and Rock Band 4. Plus, I've briefly written about Guitar Hero: Van Halen in a blog post detailing the history of GH/RB games where I had mixed thoughts on aspects of the soundtrack but overall, thought it was alright. Time to see whether I still hold that opinion or whether I should've been more critical.
NOTE: Some of these songs have been discussed in other games (namely Rock Band 2) but in those cases, I'll be focusing more on the quality of the guitar chart and whether it belonged in Guitar Hero: Van Halen.

"Ain't Talkin' 'Bout Love" - Van Halen
I'll admit that whilst I knew several Van Halen songs before playing this game, I discovered most of them here. This was one of the songs I discovered and I fucking love it. Epic riff, decent mini solos, catchy chorus and even though it's just a little bit too long, it's pretty fun to play in GH:VH. Definitely a sensible pick. THUMBS UP.

"And The Cradle Will Rock..." - Van Halen
Ah shit, we were off to such a strong start as well. Yeah, horrible chart with awkward rapid strumming and a pretty fine example of mediocre Hard Rock. Tacky vocals, uninspired guitar work that resembles the sort of wank Randy Rhoads would shit out instead of Eddie Van Halen and even though it's a fairly popular Van Halen track, I would've replaced it with one of the band's better filler tracks. THUMBS DOWN.

"Atomic Punk" - Van Halen
The first filler track by the band but also one of the best. Great driving riffs, some fun HOPO sections that make you forget about the awkward strumming rhythms and a pretty simple chart to introduce you to the greatness of the band. I'm not entirely sure why Activision only picked songs from the David Lee Roth era but if tracks like this helped prevent tracks like "Why Can't This Be Love?" make it into the series, it's getting a great big THUMBS UP. Well, it was going to get one anyway but you know what I mean.

"Beautiful Girls" - Van Halen
I suppose it makes sense to include this song, even if it's not really that fun on guitar. It's decent and one of the band's popular tracks but also very forgettable. On the plus side, I quite like the song and I didn't hate playing it, I just didn't really like it either. Fuck it, THUMBS UP for not sucking and not being out of place in the game. Believe me, there'll be PLENTY of those coming up.

"Best Of You" - Foo Fighters
Foo Fighters in GH/RB games was pretty much obligatory at that point so even though the band have next to no relevance to Van Halen, I can understand their inclusion. Plus, apparently it was down to Wolfgang Van Halen (Eddie's son) to pick most of the guest acts so naturally the setlist was doomed from the start. It sucks on guitar, right up to the rapid strumming section, and it's one of the band's better known tracks due to it basically becoming a meme online. Listening to Dave shouting "THE BEST! THE BEST! THE BEST!" over and over doesn't stop this song from getting a THUMBS DOWN, especially when there are way better Foo Fighters songs that GH never got.

"Cathedral" - Van Halen
The first of three guitar solos that were included on-disc. It's pretty fun to play, considering it's basically just a lengthy HOPO section. Short and sweet, THUMBS UP.

"Come To Life" - Alter Bridge
I bet this song was shoved onto this game's soundtrack because ATVI licensed it but didn't know what to do with it. It has no place in GH:VH and even though Alter Bridge songs have pretty fun charts, I can honestly say that I remember absolutely fuck all about playing this track. It sounds good but it should've been DLC or an on-disc song for Guitar Hero 5 instead of one of the many, many shitty Indie tracks. THUMBS DOWN.

"Dance The Night Away" - Van Halen
Really? This got picked? I guess it works as an easier song in order to give the game a difficulty curve but goddamn, it's dull. It's decent background music but not something I'd like to focus on playing in GH. THUMBS DOWN.

"Dope Nose" - Weezer
A catchy tune but again, really not a great pick for Guitar Hero: Van Halen. THIS should've been on GH5 instead of the Weezer song they chose. At least it has a fun riff and a great solo. I'm tempted to give it a Thumbs Up just for getting at least 2 out of 3 on my marking scale, although it shouldn't have been on this game. Tough call but it's getting a THUMBS UP.

"Double Vision" - Foreigner
Whilst I'm always down for some Classic Rock in these games, this song's a bit of a weird choice. I strongly doubt Wolfgang picked this one so I have no idea who championed this average song's inclusion in the game, unless Eddie or one of the band members expressed an interest in it (even though I doubt they expressed an interest in any part of the game's development). Not a very impressive guitar chart and not a huge hit for the band. There are better Foreigner songs that could've been chosen, let alone better Classic Rock songs. THUMBS DOWN.

"The End Of Heartache" - Killswitch Engage
This one probably was a Wolfgang pick. I mean, it's Killswitch Engage and he was a teenage boy so obviously he likes this band. I can't remember much about the guitar chart other than it being pretty easy for one of the final tier songs but if I had to judge this inclusion based on the quality of this screamy, shite awful song itself, it's a hard THUMBS DOWN.

"Eruption" - Van Halen
There is no debate here. If you're making a Van Halen game, "Eruption" has to be on it. It's just as furious as you can imagine and even though tap notes have made it slightly easier to play than if it was included on a pre-GH:WT title, it's still a tough tune for expert players to master. THUMBS UP.

"Everybody Wants Some!!" - Van Halen
If you were tasked with creating a Van Halen song from scratch, it'd probably end up sounding something like this. Tribal drums, anthematic vocals in the chorus, heavy riffs and a passable EVH solo. Fun fact: you can hear the band fuck up at one point when David Lee Roth starts to speak one of the lyrics just as Eddie plays some chords. Blunder aside, it's a THUMBS UP.

"Feel Your Love Tonight" - Van Halen
One of the filler tracks off the debut album that shouldn't have been picked. It sounds too similar to the generic material and even though "On Fire" off the debut is also a little close to some of the tunes on this game, at least it has a fun chart. I can't remember anything about this song, although I have a feeling that I sightread FC'd it. THUMBS DOWN.

"First Date" - Blink-182
Hahaha, nope! I want to say this was a Wolfgang pick but it was around that time that Activision got a massive hardon for Blink-182 and their songs started appearing all over the GH franchise, even though they all sound the fucking same. THUMBS DOWN.

"Hang 'Em High" - Van Halen
What can I say about this song? Well, it's off Diver Down so that's already a bad start. It's also quite challenging on guitar so it isn't the worst choice they could've gone for. However, there are filler tracks on 1984 that would've tested expert guitar players that deserved to receive more love than this song ("Top Jimmy", anyone? How fucking great would it have been to play that verse riff?). THUMBS DOWN.

"Hear About It Later" - Van Halen
This song's grown on me since I first played it in GH:VH, although I definitely maintain that it's a dull song to play up until the solo when it just becomes a ballache. Not one of my favourites off Fair Warning and certainly not a highlight for the setlist. THUMBS DOWN, I'm afraid.

"Hot For Teacher" - Van Halen
This song was awesome in Guitar Hero: World Tour and I swear they made the guitar chart easier in GH:VH, which seemed like an odd move. Either way, it's still fun to play and it still makes sense to include it in the game, even if the original master was used in GH:WT. THUMBS UP.

"Ice Cream Man" - Van Halen
When Van Halen got all Bluesy, they fucked sucked. They were as lame as your dad dancing at your birthday party and this song's a great example of David Lee Roth's love of the genre ruining a solid track. I mean, just take a moment to stop and think about what the fucking song's actually about. Luckily, the guitar chart doesn't suck and since it sounds different to your average Van Halen song, I can appreciate its inclusion in the game. It's a reluctant THUMBS UP although I don't think I'd lose sleep if I could never play/hear this song again.

"I'm The One" - Van Halen
Here's how to do Blues Rock right, although the "shoobi-doo-wah" bit in the middle is a great example of an Absolute Axl (another of these blog posts is currently in the works). Not only is it an awesome song but the guitar chart's fucking amazing if you can keep up with it. Definitely one of my favourite Van Halen songs to play in the entire game so there's no doubt about it: THUMBS UP.

"I Want It All" - Queen
From my favourite Van Halen song to my favourite guest artist song. Similar to the Blink-182 situation, Activision had recently managed to get access to a bunch of Queen songs so they were going trigger happy with using the band in GH games. However, unlike the Blink-182 situation, this was a good thing. This song showcases Brian May at his best with not one, not two but THREE excellent solos and solid fretwork throughout the rest of the song too. It's a shame it had to be locked away on this game with a setlist featuring many more misfires to come. THUMBS UP.

"Intruder/(Oh) Pretty Woman" - Van Halen
O...K, I guess Van Halen didn't have any more master recordings available so they had to resort to picking a cruddy cover off their worst Lee Roth era album? It's not even a case of Activision's desire to include "(Oh) Pretty Woman" in the series, as the Roy Orbison original was used in Band Hero. Not only that but the original didn't contain 1:40 of shite beforehand. I can understand why "Intruder" had to be glued onto the start of "(Oh) Pretty Woman" but I can't understand why both songs were picked for this game. THUMBS DOWN.

"Jamie's Cryin'" - Van Halen
Another poor choice off the debut and I once again refer you to my "On Fire" comment earlier. Presumably picked to be an easier song on the difficulty curve but it's still a boring song to play and listen to. THUMBS DOWN without hesitation.

"Jump" - Van Halen
Whilst I may not particularly like this song, it's pretty fucking fun to play on GH:VH and obviously, it had to be included in the setlist. GH purists may not be happy about the synth sections being charted but for everyone else, they make up the most fun sections of the song with plenty of manageable but challenging tap note sections to practise. THUMBS UP.

"Little Guitars" - Van Halen
More shite off Diver Down, although the acoustic intro's quite fun to play for those wanting a strum-based challenge. Sadly, the rest of the track sucks and deserves to be cast into the bowels of Hell for committing one of the greatest sins a Hard Rock song can perform; including the word "senorita" in the lyrics. It sounds desperate and makes me want to physically harm myself. THUMBS DOWN.

"Loss Of Control" - Van Halen
Now here's a frenzied little number. A good song to practise if you want to master strumming rhythms and anchoring notes. Even if the song suffers from dire vocals and what sounds like a rushed songwriting process, it's great on guitar. THUMBS UP for showing a little diversity in the band's material.

"Master Exploder" - Tenacious D
Whilst I bloody love this song and enjoyed playing it on GH:VH, it's sadly another example of a song that should've been DLC or an on-disc track for a different GH game. At least the chart's noticeably different to the RB2 one with easier solos and a much harder chord progression in the main riff. I want to give this song a Thumbs Up, I really do. However, I have to judge it as a song on this game's setlist and so, with regret, it's a THUMBS DOWN. Plus, I let "Dope Nose" get a Thumbs Up for personal reasons so this should balance things out.

"Mean Street" - Van Halen
Also one of my favourite songs to play with a fucking ace guitar chart. If you can nail that intro, you feel like a fucking God. Plus, it's got a solid chart all the way through and proves that slower songs can still be awesome. I'm glad this game exists if only because it introduced me to this song. THUMBS UP.

"Pain" - Jimmy Eat World
Oh hey, welcome back Wolfgang! I'm sure he picked some of the songs I've discussed since "First Date" but his presence feels particularly opaque here. It's not a bad song for modern Pop Rock but you know the line; it doesn't belong in this game. Jimmy Eat World could've had a track pack on Guitar Hero with this song, the one on GH5 and some other tune of theirs that isn't "The Middle" and it would've freed up room for two better songs. THUMBS DOWN.

"Painkiller" - Judas Priest
Oh dear God, what did they do to you? They fucking raped you, didn't they? Those bastards!!!
Seriously though, what were Activision playing at? Butchered drum intro, undercharted solo, too much strumming in the main riff and then there's that section between solos where they just charted fuck all, even though you can hear the guitar playing. It's a shame too as "Painkiller" is a fucking badass song that's perfect for GH/RB (although arguably not GH:VH) and they ruined it. THUMBS DOWN and Activision should hang their head in shame...ah who am I kidding, ATVI have no shame.

"Panama" - Van Halen
The first song in the game's career mode and a pretty fun chart too. Whilst it's not the easiest song in the game, it's a great introduction to the band's material and tapping solo aside, it's great to play. A solid choice for a solid song. THUMBS UP.

"Pretty Fly (For A White Guy)" - The Offspring
Of all the Offspring songs to choose, of all the ones to include on GH:VH, they picked the "give it to me baby" one. Not "The Kids Aren't Alright" or "Self Esteem" (I know that was in GH:WOR but that could've had a different one), but this one. It's not even that fun on guitar unless you like chords and strumming. THUMBS DOWN.

"Rock And Roll Is Dead" - Lenny Kravitz
I've panned most of the guest acts but credit where due, this one's a solid pick. Excellent riffs/solos and it fits in with the sound of Van Halen, even if it's more Funk than Blues. Whilst this could've worked in the Lenny Kravitz pack they released for GH5, it doesn't feel out of place on-disc here. THUMBS UP, even if the song's sentiment unintentionally echoes the overall reception to the GH franchise at that point in time.

"Romeo Delight" - Van Halen
Another great Hard Rock tune by the band. It has some challenging solos, heavy riffs and a soft section in the middle to emphasise the final chorus. Another standard Van Halen song and certainly a great choice for this game. THUMBS UP.

"Runnin' With The Devil" - Van Halen
Possibly the band's most famous song apart from "Jump", which doesn't really represent their sound in the slightest. It's the second song you play in career mode after "Panama" and even if it is pretty easy on guitar, it's still fun. There's no way they could've justified leaving this song out of the setlist so it's a clear THUMBS UP.

"Safe European Home" - The Clash
I have no qualms about The Clash being in GH:VH and I suppose this is one of the best songs they could've picked, since The Clash don't really have any fun guitar songs. Guitar's straightforward here and even though it gets a little silly in the outro, this song still manages to have more dignity than several songs on this list. This was likely chosen by ATVI instead of Wolfgang but if he did choose it, congrats son; you didn't fuck up. THUMBS UP.

"Semi-Charmed Life" - Third Eye Blind
Welcome back, Wolfgang. This probably should've been on the Third Eye Blind track pack along with "Jumper" instead of the songs they picked but hey, it's not a stain on the GH:VH soundtrack. It's not the most appropriate song either but it doesn't suck. It's fun to play and listen to so I'm giving it the benefit of the doubt with a THUMBS UP. However, this means that another song will probably get a Thumbs Down for balance later on, as mentioned with "Dope Nose" and "Master Exploder".

"Sick, Sick, Sick" - Queens Of The Stone Age
Wow, didn't expect that song to come so soon. It's a fun guitar chart and a great song for QOTSA but doesn't belong on GH:VH at all. This should've been on GH5 instead of "Make It Wit Chu", a song that should've been left in Josh Homme's reject pile when recording for Era Vulgaris. THUMBS DOWN even though I like listening to and playing the song but hey, I've got to at least pretend to be fair here.

"So This Is Love?" - Van Halen
Another song that I found out about thanks to this game. Great bassline and a pretty damn fun guitar chart too. The song massively grew on me since hearing it in GH:VH and to this day, it's still one of my on-disc highlights. THUMBS UP.

"Somebody Get Me A Doctor" - Van Halen
I love this song's solo (even if it is quite hard to play) but the actual melody itself is a little off. It sounds unfinished to me or as if EVH took a bunch of notes from other riffs that weren't working and pulled a Frankenstein with it, sort of like the "Tom Sawyer" guitar solo. At least it's consistently fun to play and doesn't feel insulting by taking the place of a better song so it's a THUMBS UP.

"Space Truckin'" - Deep Purple
This guest act feels appropriate and it has a fairly fun guitar chart, even if Deep Purple songs tend to be more miss than hit on GH/RB. I would've thought a track like "Lazy" would've been better for the game, as that sounds more like the kind of song Van Halen would listen to and want to replicate in their own material. However, we got "Space Truckin'" and I'm not disappointed. THUMBS UP.

"Spanish Fly" - Van Halen
The last of the guitar solo trilogy and possibly my favourite. I love the sound of it and it's definitely more fun to play than "Eruption" and "Cathedral". It's still fucking challenging though so don't attempt it unprepared. THUMBS UP.

"Stacy's Mom" - Fountains Of Wayne
Those of you who knew about this setlist were probably waiting for me to get to this track, huh. It's without a doubt, the dumbest track on this game. Fucking boring chart, fucking shitty music, fucking out of place on the setlist and chances are it was fucking down to Wolfgang. THUMBS DOWN and a great big middle finger to everyone who liked this song growing up; your younger self is a colossal prick.

"The Takedown" - Yellowcard
Neck and neck with "I Want It All", this song's one of my favourite on-disc guest acts. It might not belong in the game but fucking hell, it's incredibly fun to play. Granted they had to chart violin to make it fun but at least that shreddy bit in the solo is all guitar. I might not be overly fond of listening to the song outside of GH but the chart is fun enough to give it a THUMBS UP entirely based on how awesome it is. THAT is how much I enjoy playing it.

"Unchained" - Van Halen
I suppose the problem with just picking David Lee Roth era songs is that you end up with a lot of bland Van Halen tracks, like this one. This song works if you haven't got a lot of Van Halen songs to work with but since the game is loaded with them, it gets overtaken by all the better songs. THUMBS DOWN.

"White Wedding (Part 1)" - Billy Idol
Sure, I guess this song works? I can imagine the boys in the band listening to this and it's a good pick for an easy guitar song at the start of the career mode. Plus, they pretty much used all the other Billy Idol songs for different games...except "Speed"...and "Blue Highway"...and "Mony Mony"...but you get the point. THUMBS UP.

"You Really Got Me" - Van Halen
Finishing the setlist is the original master recording of a cover version of a song by The Kinks. I say this because WaveGroup Sound recorded a cover for Guitar Hero 2 so naturally, the original had to be in this game. Plus, it's a well known recording of theirs off the debut. However, I personally would've preferred the Kinks original without the awkward tapping solo. Still, I can't fault the song's inclusion and chart when there's no real reason to vote against them. THUMBS UP.


Now it's time for the final score. With 27 Thumbs Up to 20 Thumbs Down, it seems I do still believe the Guitar Hero: Van Halen soundtrack has some merit. I really thought this would be the first game where there'd be more Thumbs Down than Up. Ah well, there's always GH5.

inFinite - Deep Purple

Hopefully you all got the April Fool's gag last week and didn't actually think I enjoyed the setlist to Guitar Hero Live in any way, shape or form. Here's a straight review of the new Deep Purple album to balance things out.

It's strange to see websites still list Deep Purple as Hard Rock as this album makes it perfectly clear that the band have fully transitioned into the Prog Rock genre. At the very least, they're Hard Prog but Prog nonetheless. It makes sense for the band to make this shift as they're all getting on a bit now and having lost two of their strongest assets to death and Folk (although Blackmore's revisiting Rainbow material now), there's no way they could possibly hope to recreate the iconic Hard Rock anthems they seemed to casually pump out in the early 70s.
Instead, they've opted to combine the Blues elements of Hard Rock with the instrumental aspects of Prog, creating an incredible sound utilised in such a poor way. If there was a list of everything that could be described as the "absolute worst", I reckon Mediocre Prog would fall somewhere between waiting in a queue caused by a fuckwit at the checkout and having dental surgery. Sadly, quite a few songs on inFinite are in that camp, even if each member of the band (except one) is going strong. Fortunately, the album opener isn't one of those.
"Time For Bedlam" may have a punchy rhythm and reminds us that the band haven't lost it but Don Airey's use of organ sounds more like Uriah Heep than Deep Purple. This isn't necessarily a bad thing but it does signify a slight step down in quality at the earliest juncture, even if the song is great. Don Airey and Steve Morse on keys and guitar are one of the album's greatest attributes, followed by Roger Glover's bass and Ian Paice's restrained but densely packed, well orchestrated drumming. That just leaves Ian Gillan on vocals and this is where the album runs into a sizable wall.

Gillan's vocals used to be incredible when he had some passion in his pipes. However, since DP have moved on from being the loudest band in the world, Gillan's vocals needed to make the successful transition too. Instead, they just sound flat and bored, dampening the majority of songs on this album. The only track where Gillan's vocals seemed to work was "The Surprising", which benefited from a different sound to the lion's share of the tracks and a more typically progressive structure like you'd hear in a modern Iron Maiden song. It's a good track if you can ignore the fact that the guitar sounds a little too close to "Highway Song" - Blackfoot for comfort.
There are other songs that attempt to stand apart from the Hard Prog filler such as "Johnny's Band", a track built around a strong riff with more subtle keyboard sections, and album closer "Roadhouse Blues", a cover of the song by The Doors. It's an upbeat end to the album but it comes across as self indulgent when it follows "Birds Of Prey", the band's attempt at an epic Prog finale. Also, it doesn't help that Gillan's voice is especially terrible when compared to Jim Morrison's, even though it was probably Gillan who championed the inclusion of this cover on the album.
Crappy vocals aside, the band are in their element and whilst Ian Paice doesn't sound like he's breaking a sweat on any of these songs, you can tell he's still trying to create great drum rhythms ("On Top Of The World"). It's the fills and rudiments throughout the songs that speak louder than the generic 4/4 beats. Roger Glover's bass sometimes blends in with Don Airey's organ a little too well but if you listen for it, you can hear it thudding away ("All I Got Is You"). Steve Morse gets a few moments in the spotlight where he can impersonate Richie Blackmore ("Get Me Out Of Here") but when him and Don Airey are double teaming together, it sounds phenomenal.

There's one message being broadcast underneath the layers of each track on inFinite; the band still have life in them but Ian Gillan doesn't. What Deep Purple need is a Ronnie James Dio figure to push the band members into challenging themselves with faster rhythms, more complex solos and more progressive finales. It's almost as if the band wanted the best of both Hard Rock and Prog Rock, which can work if each member of the band is able to commit to it. Unfortunately, I don't see any member of DP agreeing to boot Gillan out now so this is it.
I rate the album 6/10 for being musically solid but devoid of any fire or ambition. It pains me to hear such a once-incredible vocalist moaning his way through the album like he couldn't give a fuck, especially when the other band members (new and original) are earning their crust. Normally I'd say "perhaps they're better live" but having seen them live, I can confirm that we're not missing out on anything. What you hear on inFinite is what they've got. Their days of creating the next "Smoke On The Water" have been over for decades but that didn't stop them from giving us "Mad Dog" or "The Cut Runs Deep".

Guitar Hero Live - Various Artists

Apologies for another video game review so soon but I had to type this after realising what I was missing out on.

Guitar Hero Live is the last and best game in the Guitar Hero franchise. It's the byproduct of a five year hiatus brought about by Activision's oversaturation of the music game genre and a desire for money. However, unlike previous Guitar Hero games, it's not a simple cash grab. Guitar Hero Live takes bold steps in completely destroying everything that made the series fun and rebuilding it to be a little bit more realistic.
However, I'm not here to talk about the brave innovations in gameplay or genius pay-to-play system that gamers were surprisingly unwilling to adopt after shelling out £100 to buy the game and new controller. I'm here to discuss the soundtrack and whether or not it works. As the name suggests, Guitar Hero was built around a strong soundtrack of Rock songs classic and contemporary, particularly ones with excellent riffs and solos. Guitar Hero Live abandons this clunky old setlist with a fresh, exciting one featuring just under forty songs from the 21st century and just three from before the 80s.
This is a fantastically smart decision to capitalise on a small but non-fictitious audience; people who like gaming, listen to modern music and have plenty of disposable income. One of the biggest selling points of the franchise had been combining fun gameplay with an awesome soundtrack perfect for the type of gameplay involved. However, now that the gameplay is no longer fun, the soundtrack should reflect this too. Forget epic riffs and furious solos, Guitar Hero Live is all about strumming and awkward note sequences now!

But what about gamers who don't like Rock? Never fear, Activision thought of that! By focusing on one genre, the game is missing out on so many young listeners who need to listen to the latest chart topping songs in order to function properly, hence the inclusion of artists such as Eminem, Rihanna, Katy Perry and Skrillex. Their generic music translates well into this new form of realistic gameplay as you play riffs sampled from much greater Rock songs or electronic dubstep beats on guitar.
The setlist also reflects the fact that the gameplay has taken a step backwards in removing playable instruments. Guitar Hero soundtracks used to have to include tracks with fun drum and bass charts but now the developers can focus on tracks with catchy vocals to sing along to or guitar rhythms to play such as "The Rock Show" - Blink-182 and "The Kill" - Thirty Seconds To Mars, songs that have already been in the Guitar Hero franchise but have now been revitalised with the changes in gameplay.
Whilst it would've been easy for the developers to include plenty of great songs on-disc, only forty two songs are playable without an Internet connection, which is less than half of the amount of songs on the last Guitar Hero game. It's a risky move but it ultimately pays off as it gives gamers more time to hone and practise those songs without worry about too much variety and music to enjoy. Also, whilst it's easy to include a random bunch of tunes without any real place in a series about living the life of a Rock star, slimming down the setlist to Avril Lavigne, Mumford & Sons and OneRepublic ensures we get a game with the best material available.

There's one more area of the game's exceptional soundtrack I've yet to discuss and that's the GHTV mode. Instead of paying money to download songs that you get to play and keep or making previous paid songs compatible with this new game, Activision took yet another intelligent step in making additional music available through a music video system where new tunes are cycled in themed playlists for free. Tracks vary from music from the 10s, music from the 00s, music from the 90s and about twenty songs from the 80s and 70s.
Whilst this means the majority of music will be contemporary, since music videos only really took off in the 80s and even then Metal music videos didn't become popular until the early 90s, the fact that you can play along with your favourite bands (provided they only started releasing music after the 90s) is incredible. It's also a great way of licensing more music due to cheaper fees to pay, meaning players get more songs to be given without any choice.
However, when you do earn coins to purchase songs to play once, it's a great experience. The riffs are more complex and the solos are challenging, even if most of them have been cut due to the fact that music videos tend to be shorter versions of songs for promotional purposes. The developers deserve credit for trying to fit challenging songs into the game despite the new note layout not accommodating sweeping solos and furious fretting.

Guitar Hero Live's soundtrack is perfect. It's beyond perfect and deserves to be recognised as one of the strongest setlists in all of gaming history along with Guitar Hero: Van Halen and Power Gig: Rise Of The SixString. It's so incredible that it transcends a score on this blog, something that has absolutely nothing to do with the date in which this review was posted.