Guitar Hero: Aerosmith

Continuing my quest to review/discuss the setlist to every Guitar Hero/Rock Band game, our next entry in the series of these posts is the second Guitar Hero expansion and the first band-centric Guitar Hero title; Guitar Hero: Aerosmith. This game was apparently the biggest selling band-centric GH title although to many fans of the franchise (myself included), certainly not the best. However, just how good is the setlist?
In this post, I'll be looking at the 30 main-setlist songs (occasionally referring to the 10 bonus tracks and ignoring the Joe Perry boss battle tune) and deciding whether or not I think they belong in the game based on a) my personal opinion of the song's quality, b) whether it's fun to play on guitar and c) whether it fits in with the general tone/purpose of the game. If you're interested in what I've had to say about other Guitar Hero/Rock Band games like Guitar Hero 2 and Rock Band Unplugged, feel free to follow those links. If not, let's get started!

"All Day And All Of The Night" - The Kinks
First up, we have one of the game's guest acts and let me just say, I am fucking glad we got The Kinks in one of these games. Granted it's a WaveGroup cover but hey, at least it's a damn good one with an extended guitar solo. As for whether this song's appropriate, I can totally see Aerosmith enjoying The Kinks and wanting to include one of their songs in the game. All in all, it's a fun track for one of the early career mode stages and even if it isn't my personal favourite Kinks track, it's definitely a better choice than "Lola" or "You Really Got Me". THUMBS UP.

"All The Young Dudes" - Mott The Hoople
Not gonna lie, this song is solely responsible for me buying this game when it came out. I watched the chart, listened to the cover and immediately fell in love with it. The quality of the WaveGroup cover is incredible and the extended guitar solo fits in perfectly with the track. It's a shame they had to underchart the solo to fit in with the game's first career mode stage but at least it's still very fun to play and again, totally a song I can imagine Aerosmith being inspired by. It's definitely the best Mott The Hoople song to go with (as it is their signature song) although "One Of The Boys" would've been a fun one too. THUMBS UP.

"Always On The Run" - Lenny Kravitz and Slash
Another guest act but this time, it's the original master recording. Even though Aerosmith started before Lenny Kravitz, I can definitely hear similarities between Aerosmith's vocals/guitar riffs and Kravitz's so I have no objection to Lenny's inclusion in the game. It's also a great Kravitz song choice, as "Are You Gonna Go My Way" was clearly set up for Guitar Hero: World Tour and if you want a Kravitz song for a GH game, you definitely want one with fun guitar...so what better track than one with Slash tagging along too? It's a solid song and a fun chart so THUMBS UP.

"Back In The Saddle" - Aerosmith
Our first (alphabetical) Aerosmith song is a good 'un! Great guitar riff and awesome Hard Rock rhythms. This is the ultimate "Fuck yeah, here I am" song and it's one of Aerosmith's big hits so it totally belongs in the game. However, there are some issues I have with the chart; namely the overabundance of lead guitar over the main riff on rhythm. Rock Band released this song as DLC with the rhythm guitar taking all of the glory during the chorus and it's easily more fun to play. Playing sustains instead of the epic riff is a poor choice but hey, at least it's still fun and sensible for the game. THUMBS UP. Looking good so far, huh.

"Beyond Beautiful" - Aerosmith
So this is a bit of a funny one. Whilst the song's decent and the chart is kinda fun once the solo kicks in (as that main riff is a little dull), I'm not sure it's the best choice for the game. It's a fairly modern Aerosmith track compared to the release date of this game and considering some of the glaring omissions from this game, it feels more like it was included because the band wanted some of their more recent tracks to share the spotlight. It's not even the best modern Aerosmith track, as they recorded a fantastic cover of "Baby Please Don't Go" in 2004 and considering how much Joe Perry has shit on the album and band's career around this time, I can't say I would've missed this if it was removed at the last minute. THUMBS DOWN.

"Bright Light Fright" - Aerosmith
Meh, not impressed with this one. It's a deep cut off Draw The Line and even though it has some fun little guitar licks here and there, it's definitely not worthy of the game's main setlist. It could've passed as a bonus track instead of one of the Joe Perry solo songs but when you've got songs like "Young Lust" and "Dude (Looks Like A Lady)" missing from the game, it's an easy THUMBS DOWN for this song.

"Cat Scratch Fever" - Ted Nugent
I've said it before and I'll say it again: Ted Nugent might be a world class cunt but he was a fucking great guitarist in his prime and his songs would've been incredible in Guitar Hero/Rock Band. Sadly, the only ones they've picked are this and "Stranglehold", both containing fairly weak guitar riffs and solos in comparison to tracks like "Stormtroopin'" and "The Great White Buffalo". I don't really like this song and even though a great Ted Nugent song would've been fun (and suitable) in this game, I'm giving it a THUMBS DOWN.

"Complete Control" - The Clash
Whilst I guess Punk songs MAY have a place in an Aerosmith game if Aerosmith have acknowledged Punk influences (I don't care for the band or genre enough to independently research it), the fewer the better in my eyes. However, of all the songs to pick, this has to be one of the best. It's got an actual guitar solo, not to mention the line "YOU'RE MY GUITAR HERO" which kinda gives it a reason to be in a GH game alone. THUMBS UP for being a shining diamond in the murky turd filled toilet bowl of the Punk music genre.

"Draw The Line" - Aerosmith
As odd as this may sound, this song's guitar riff is so fucking ugly. Like, if sound could be unattractive, this is what it would be. This song is boring to play, rough to listen to and even if it is the title track from their 1977 album, it's a lame song choice that early on in the game. Compare the first few songs in Guitar Hero: Metallica; "For Whom The Bell Tolls" and "The Unforgiven", both fantastic tracks with fun but easy guitar charts. There are easy Aerosmith songs like "Hangman Jury" with some great HOPO riffs that should've been included over this shit. THUMBS DOWN.

"Dream On" - Aerosmith
This is one of four songs rerecorded for the game and I'll be honest, I love this version over the original. The guitar chart is fun to play and Tyler's vocals don't sound fucking laughable during the helium-sucking "DREEM OWHN!" bit. It's also one of Aerosmith's better power ballads and if you're going to include power ballads (which you pretty much have to when making a rhythm music game focused around Rock's biggest pussies), this is a far greater choice than "I Don't Want To Miss A Thing", another surprising omission although I'm not gonna shed a tear over it. THUMBS UP.

"Dream Police" - Cheap Trick
Another guest act that I'm OK with being in Guitar Hero: Aerosmith. However, I'm not sure that this song is the best choice. "Dream Police" is kind of a campy song and at the time of this game's release, the At Budokan live version of "I Want You To Want Me" hadn't been featured in a rhythm music game and that song reminds me of Aerosmith more than this one. However, it's an easy song to include early on in the game's career mode and a popular track by the band. I guess there's no real reason it shouldn't be in the game but since it's a mediocre song that feels more appropriate as Rock Band DLC than on-disc track in GH:A, I'm giving it a THUMBS DOWN. Apparently a White Stripes song was rumoured to be in this game but changed at the last minute and you know that would've been easy on guitar. If this song replaced one of their better guitar based tracks, that would've sucked.

"Hard To Handle" - The Black Crowes
Ah, now THIS is a good track and a decent cover by Steve Ouimette. There are some damn fine guitar solos and the gritty Southern Blues sound of the song definitely fits in with the rest of the Aerosmith material. Whilst The Black Crowes have some great songs that would work in Guitar Hero, this is certainly the best one they could've gone with. It's the band's signature song (and a superb cover) so not including this would've been the wrong decision. THUMBS UP.

"I Hate Myself For Loving You" - Joan Jett
Bleh, more Punk. Chords, droning vocals and general boredom a-plenty in this song. I don't know how much of an influence Joan Jett played in Aerosmith's career but if you're after female Rock musicians, Pat Benatar always trumps Joan Jett. ALWAYS. However, if you have to pick a Joan Jett song, I probably would've preferred "Bad Reputation". It's still dull on guitar but at least it's a fun and punchy song. THUMBS DOWN.

"King Of Rock" - Run-D.M.C.
OH SHIT, IT'S RUN-D.M.C. BOIZ! You may be asking why a Hip Hop artist is in a Rock music game but remember that godawful "Walk This Way" remix? Yeah, it was this prick. Since he did a pointless Hip Hop remix of a great Rock song with these guys, he not only has a song in the game but he also appears as a playable character in game. I don't know much Run-D.M.C. although I probably would've preferred his shameless Toni Basil ripoff "It's Tricky" to this crap tune. Also, fuck this shithead for calling himself the "King Of Rock". THUMBS DOWN and furthermore, I hope he's penniless and miserable.

"Livin' On The Edge" - Aerosmith
I feel like I haven't heard this song outside of Guitar Hero: Aerosmith but apparently, it's one of the band's more popular songs? Personally, I think it's a little overproduced and the lyric "There's something wrong with the world today" just makes me hate this song. Then there's Joe Perry's guitar work, which is average at best. Sure, the riffs are fun but he craps out a terrible guitar solo and the outro goes on WAY TOO LONG. All in all, this is the kind of song I would hide in the bonus section instead of "Rats In The Cellar", a far greater Hard Rock track with an awesome guitar chart. THUMBS DOWN.

"Love In An Elevator" - Aerosmith
One of the band's more popular songs and yeah, it's OK on guitar. It also has a lengthy vocal outro which isn't fun to sit through in a guitar/bass only game but hey, the rest of the song makes up for it. I'm surprised we didn't get more songs from Rocks and Pump, since they're two of the band's better albums. However, I can't argue with this song's inclusion so THUMBS UP. However, somewhere out there in the multiverse is a reality where Guitar Hero: Aerosmith happened in place of Guitar Hero: Van Halen (with full band) and this song is far better in that game.

"Make It" - Aerosmith
Another rerecording from the band's debut album. Goddamn, Motley Crue must've been avid listeners of this album, huh. Anyway, this song is also one of the first Aerosmith songs you play in the career mode and whilst it's not exactly a big hit for the band, it's not a bad guitar chart for the early tier and it's a good rerecording too. I also don't have a problem with this song being in the game, even though I'm not a huge fan of it outside of GH, as there's nothing wrong with deep cuts being in the game as long as they're not replacing better songs. It's good to introduce people to music they may not have heard before in these games so THUMBS UP.

"Mama Kin" - Aerosmith
Another rerecording but this time at the end of the game's career mode. In comparison to final stages in other GH/RB games, this song's actually pretty easy on guitar. It's mostly challenging due to chord progressions and a faster rhythm that previous tracks but it's still relatively straightforward. However, since Aerosmith don't have a huge number of insanely difficult songs (or any at all), it's as good as they could get. I mean, this song could've been bumped down the career mode list, replacing an easier song that I'll be discussing in a bit and instead allowing "Eat The Rich" to be one of the last songs on-disc. However, the song's a solid Rock track and one of the band's popular songs so it's a good fit for this game. THUMBS UP.

"Movin' On" - Aerosmith
The final rerecorded track from the debut and my God, what a fun one on guitar. A hugely underrated track in this game with some great riffs and a tidy solo. It may be featured early on in the game's career mode but it's not a walk in the park if you're after the FC, due to some brief rapid strumming moments. Even though it's not a single, it was one of the first songs the band actually wrote and played together so it has some significance in the band's career making it a worthy song for this game, in my books. THUMBS UP for the fun chart alone.

"No Surprize" - Aerosmith
And here we have a weaker version of "Mama Kin", although the guitar riff in this song isn't bad. It reminds me of another song with a name that I can't quite place although the track has a kind of Rolling Stones vibe, which probably explains why it's a little dull. All in all, this song isn't one I would've chosen for the game, just due to how plain it is. THIS is the song that could've been replaced by "Eat The Rich" if you moved "Mama Kin" down the career mode list so it's getting a THUMBS DOWN.

"Nobody's Fault" - Aerosmith
I forgot how fun the guitar in this song is, although it's off Rocks so you know it's gonna be good. Great riffs, awesome solos, one annoying trill section (fuckin Joe Perry and his annoying trills when he can't think of anything else to play) but otherwise, a great inclusion in the game. The career mode setlist should be full of fun guitar songs by Aerosmith so tracks like this will always make me happy. It also helps when they're good tunes or singles/favourites by band members or fans but the main thing is how fun it is to play. THUMBS UP.

"Personality Crisis" - New York Dolls
Jesus, more Punk?! Alright then. Admittedly, I don't know too much about the New York Dolls but I do know that "Jet Boy" would've been more fun to play than this song. Alternatively, we could've had a song that WASN'T Punk! A song that Aerosmith have been inspired by or maybe covered at one point like "Oh Well" - Fleetwood Mac or something by Deep Purple, since a Deep Purple song was also rumoured to be included in the game's soundtrack at one point. THUMBS DOWN.

"Rag Doll" - Aerosmith
This song is built around a catchy riff and vocal melody in the chorus, making it a fan favourite and a fun one to play for casual players. It's also quite similar to "Love In An Elevator" but thankfully, just as fun to play. I wouldn't replace this song with any other, even if I'm not the biggest fan of it, but if you're after a middle ground song with some fun riffs to play, you can do much worse than "Rag Doll". THUMBS UP.

"Sex Type Thing" - Stone Temple Pilots
Some 90s Grunge/Hard Rock? OK, I guess. This may be one of STP's bigger songs but come on, it's a pretty poor song to play on guitar. Something like "Vasoline" or "Crackerman" would've been way better, especially since the latter sounds just like "Sex Type Thing" only with an actual guitar solo added. I'm not sure if Aerosmith consider Stone Temple Pilots a major source of inspiration or whatever but musically, this song sounds a little out of place in this game. Just a little but enough to contribute to the THUMBS DOWN it's getting.

"She Sells Sanctuary" - The Cult
As much as I love this song, I feel the same way about this inclusion. The Cult are a different breed of Hard Rock to Aerosmith and their song doesn't quite sound as aggressive as other guest acts in the game. Then again, if Mott The Hoople can sound right, so can this. This is The Cult's most famous song and since the band aren't the most musically diverse when it comes to their hit singles, it's a sensible choice. However, this arguably should've been featured earlier on in the career mode setlist (as it's pretty fuckin' easy on guitar) so we could've had a properly charted "All The Young Dudes". Ah well, what's done is done. THUMBS UP.

"Sweet Emotion" - Aerosmith
Here we go, one of Aerosmith's best songs and a fun (but easy) guitar chart too. Granted the trills get a little annoying but they can't be helped when Joe Perry's involved. Thankfully, the bass is epic and the riffs are sweet. Plus, it's arguably the band's signature song so if it wasn't included in the setlist, there would've been hell to pay. THUMBS UP because do you really need me to say anything else?

"Toys In The Attic" - Aerosmith
The single greatest chart in this game and one of the finest in GH history. Unlike Rock Band 4 where they fucked up everything except the main riff, this song is just fantastic to play from start to finish. The solo is great, the trills aren't annoying and that riff. Man, that fuckin' riff is just the best. What the hell were Harmonix thinking when they charted this song in RB4? Wait, let me rephrase that; what the hell were Harmonix DRINKING? THUMBS UP and if you haven't played this song, I recommend picking up a copy of GH:A just for this and "All The Young Dudes".

"Train Kept-A-Rollin'" - Aerosmith
The final boss of the game and to the untrained player, it's pretty darn challenging. Trills, tough solos throughout and a change-up in tempo halfway through. It's also a great cover of the original by the Yardbirds and one of Aerosmith's better known tracks so totally appropriate for this game. It's a shame we never got this track as a master recording outside of GH:A but at least the RB1 cover is great; that's right, one minute I'm dicking on HMX and the next I'm praising them! However, that doesn't change the fact that this song is getting a THUMBS UP.

"Uncle Salty" - Aerosmith
This song fucking sucks. Boring, godawful to listen to and taking the place of literally any other Aerosmith song. It's bad in every sense of the word. THUMBS DOWN.

"Walk This Way" - Aerosmith featuring Run-D.M.C.
Why, why, why, WHY did they include the remix in the main setlist instead of the original?! Don't worry, the original version is available as a bonus track but boy, did they get that decision wrong. This should've been bonus, the original 1975 version of "Walk This Way" with the amazing guitar chart should've been part of the main setlist. THUMBS DOWN.


So it turns out with 17 Thumbs Up against 13 Thumbs Down, this game's soundtrack is about as good as I remembered if not a little bit better. There are a bunch of classics, some decent tunes and a sturdy collection of shit. In other words, not as good as Guitar Hero: Metallica but about as good as Guitar Hero: Van Halen, as both GH:A and GH:VH have approximately 57% Thumbs Up! However, if you factored the bonus songs into it...well, you'd probably still get the same percentage, as I like five of them and hate/dislike the other five. Still, at least we know what I think of Guitar Hero: Aerosmith ten years after playing it so it hasn't been a complete waste of time!

Shout Out: Sweet Fanny Adams and Desolation Boulevard - Sweet

I know I said I'd be writing a Rapid Fire post but after a bit of thought, I decided to adapt it into a Shout Out post. But not just any Shout Out post, oh no. This time, it's a...
DOUBLE SHOUT OUT POST!
Yes, I couldn't decide which of these two brilliant albums to dedicate a post to so decided to write about both of them! First up, we have Sweet Fanny Adams, an album that's an essential listen for fans of 70s Hard Rock!

Most bands that choose to adapt their sound to appeal to a different audience tend to do so after about six albums. Not Sweet; they did it after just one. Not only that but they also changed their name from The Sweet to just Sweet. Granted there were three years in between the release of Funny How Sweet Co-Co Can Be and this record but the band also released some of their most popular singles in that time such as "Block Buster", "Little Willy" and of course "The Ballroom Blitz". These singles teased the band's transition from Bubblegum Pop to a heavier Glam Rock style of music but it wasn't until this album that the band begun to fully embrace Hard Rock...with a bit of Glam here and there.
Album opener "Set Me Free" was an explosive entrance onto the Rock scene, clearly taking influence from contemporaries at the time such as Deep Purple and The Who. The band only continued to keep things heavy with tracks such as "Rebel Rouser", a spiritual successor to "Hell Raiser", and title track "Sweet F.A.", a song with a heavy gallop and percussion throughout. Even the Glam infused tracks are heavier than your typical Top Of The Pops numbers with songs like "AC-DC" and "Into The Night" focusing more on raw vocals and rhythms than sing-a-longs and catchy riffs.
An important thing to remember whilst listening to this album is that it came out in 1974, around the time that Queen were just starting out (Queen II, which contained the complete version of "Seven Seas Of Rhye", was released just one month before Sweet Fanny Adams). Both bands pioneered vocal and guitar harmonies in Hard Rock although only Queen got the worldwide acclaim for their music. Whilst I think that Queen made better decisions over the course of their career and earned their fame through genuine talent, it's a shame that Sweet didn't even earn a fraction of their popularity despite being documented influences for Brian May's guitar work. What I'm trying to say is that Sweet Fanny Adams is a great album; highly underrated and one that I recommend to fans of 70s Rock.

1. Set Me Free

2. Heartbreak Tonight

3. No You Don't

4. Rebel Rouser

5. Peppermint Twist

6. Sweet F.A.

7. Restless

8. Into The Night

9. AC-DC

ALBUM RATING - 9/10

Of course I couldn't talk about Sweet Fanny Adams without also mentioning the follow-up album, Desolation Boulevard.

There are two versions of this album available, one released in 1974 in the UK and one released in 1975 in the US. The US version had a different tracklist, containing tracks off Sweet Fanny Adams and more radio-friendly versions of hit singles, whereas the UK version was 100% new and all Rock. I'm gonna be talking about the UK version. To say it was released literally in the same year as Sweet Fanny Adams, the fact that the album is clearly a different beast is impressive. Album opener "The Six Teens" showcases this with acoustic melodies paired with the electric guitar harmonies, not to mention the tempo changes later on. Sweet were back and in that short space of time between album releases, they'd learnt a thing or two!

The general songwriting quality is still great and contains a decent amount of variety, alternating between heavier Glam Rockers ("Turn It Down") and softer melodic numbers ("Lady Starlight"). However, there are three tracks that need singling out. First up is "Man With The Golden Arm", a cover of the theme by Elmer Bernstein that would be a great track if not for the five minute drum solo. It's ambitious but a little too masturbatory for me. Then there's a cover of "My Generation", the album closer that does a damn good job of recreating the energy and passion of The Who's original. Whilst the bass solos may not have the same appeal, the band still do a grand job of the song...up until it all goes to shit 50 seconds before the end.
Finally, there's the single-most important reason to listen to the album. "Fox On The Run". If you've heard this song before, chances are it was the rerecorded version for the 1975 version of this album; the one with synth and added backing vocal harmonies. This original version is more of a Hard Rock song with a much better guitar riff, TWO guitar solos, some fantastic percussion, raw vocals and great bass licks throughout. It's a shame that this version isn't more widely known as I would argue that it can go toe-to-toe with any of AC/DC's top songs. Whilst the 1975 album may have had a stronger tracklist due to the inclusion of multiple Sweet Fanny Adams songs, this album deserves a shoutout for the Hard Rock version of "Fox On The Run" alone. Now we just need an album with the full version of "Show Me The Way" too.

1. The Six Teens

2. Solid Gold Brass

3. Turn It Down

4. Medussa

5. Lady Starlight

6. Man With The Golden Arm

7. Fox On The Run

8. Breakdown

9. My Generation

ALBUM RATING - 6/10

Both albums are available as extended versions on Spotify and iTunes so you now have no excuse not to enjoy these cracking records!

Here Is The News: June 2018 Edition

How do we all feel about the Here Is The News title? Good? Yeah? Great, I'm keeping it.
Last month, I told you guys about the exciting events happening in the Rock/Metal community with the promise of keeping you updated in subsequent months whenever something newsworthy occurs. Thankfully, it's been an eventful month in the world of Rock/Metal but fear not; I've picked the three biggest stories to report on for your eyes so if you're sitting comfortably, it's time for the news!

OZZY OSBOURNE ALBUM PASSES AWAY

After 29 years of being available in record stores and online, the Ozzy Osbourne album Ozzymandias has died and is no longer available anywhere, even if you already owned it. The 1989 LP was considered a career highlight and the news of its passing has shocked fans all over the world, especially when they tried listening to their copy of Ozzymandias only to discover all evidence of the album's existence is no longer with us.

It's believed that the album passed away peacefully in the early hours of the morning although an autopsy needs to be carried out to ensure that drugs weren't involved in the same way they were during the album's conception. Ozzymandias contained nine tracks featuring an album cover that had Ozzy Osbourne dressed in an extravagant costume and hit singles "The Crucifix" and "Time To Dry Your Eyes". Lyrical themes on the album included religion, insanity, romance, mysticism, literature and the Rock & Roll lifestyle Ozzy's become known for. Fans all over the world are desperately searching Ozzy's back catalogue to find even a single song that covers any of those lyrical themes.

As is often the case when a famous musician passes away, Metal celebrities have been coming out of the woodwork to offer their condolences and thoughts on Ozzymandias in a move that has absolutely no personal agenda to it. During a radio interview, Dee Snider of Twisted Sister claimed "I remember listening to [Ozzymandias] before going on stage every night for about a week, "Out Of Milk" was a personal favourite. It feels like a part of me has died alongside this album" before promoting his new autobiography audiobook. The band Anthrax also updated their website to include an obituary for the album, claiming that "Ozzymandias was a true inspiration for our music from 1990 to today".

Ozzy Osbourne (pictured right) was asked to comment on the news of his album's demise. Ozzy stated "I remember very little of the recording sessions for that album but I'm told that I was quite good!" During the interview, Ozzy went on to say that he regrets not playing more (or any) songs from the album on his live tours. He also claimed that he hopes his fans will remember the good times had when listening to his music, all the while turning back to a nodding Sharon Osbourne for confirmation before continuing with the next sentiment.

Ozzymandias may be gone but it certainly isn't forgotten. Work has already begun on recreating the album through the magic of holographic technology so that fans can once again enjoy the experience of owning it. Holographic projectors are being installed in all major record stores and hopefully by February next year, fans can purchase portable projectors so they can take holograms of the album home with them for the low price of £1299.99, which is just slightly more than the deluxe version of the album's reissue from 2009.

LED ZEPPELIN ARE NOT TOURING OR RECORDING NEW MUSIC

Led Zeppelin are a band that formed in the 60s and released many iconic Rock albums during their career. However, at the time of writing this blog post, Led Zeppelin have not announced a new tour or the news that they're recording brand new music so this article (and pretty much every article about the band that doesn't announce a tour or new music) is completely pointless.

Recently, the band announced that they're re-releasing their 1976 live soundtrack album The Song Remains The Same (pictured left) for their 50th anniversary. However, a live soundtrack re-release is not the same as touring again or recording new music so who the hell cares. The soundtrack was remastered by Jimmy Page but since he's not planning on playing new or old music on stage with the rest of the surviving band members, it's irrelevant.

The band broke up in 1980 after the death of drummer John Bonham but have reformed briefly in the past. The last time the band played live was December 2007 at London's 02 Arena and since then, Robert Plant has shot down plans of the band reforming and/or recording new music. Robert Plant has also recorded solo albums but only a fraction of people give a shit because it's not the same as Led Zeppelin touring or releasing new music, which they're currently not doing.

This is basically what the article is. This is what every article about Led Zeppelin that doesn't announce a new tour or the fact that the band are going back into the studio with new music is. Why the fuck are you still reading this, I'm not giving you any new information. Led Zeppelin (pictured right, playing live) had a great run but if they're not touring or contributing to their craft with new music, nobody cares because there are Led Zeppelinesque bands that are touring and giving us new music, like Greta Van Fleet. Those guys ARE touring and recording new music, so they're worth reading about.

Seriously, you're still reading this?! What do you expect is going to happen, I'm going to tease some kind of bullshit about one of the band members "hoping" to get back together from some ego-stroking magazine interview? Like I'm not going to lead with the possibility of Led Zeppelin touring or recording new music if I thought there was even the remotest possibility of that happening in my lifetime? No, there is absolutely nothing happening on the Led Zeppelin front at the moment. Nothing at all. Bet you're glad you read all the way to these last few sentences; was that worth two minutes of your life? You could've listened to a quarter of "Stairway To Heaven" in that time or done something other than dedicate precious thought to a band that don't give a shit about their history. Oh well, at least you smiled at this article? No? Well shit, looks like we both pissed away our time.

THAT BAND WITH THE SONG KICK OFF WORLD TOUR

The band that released that sort of popular Alternative Rock song in the 90s have announced that they're embarking on a world tour, playing all their greatest hits and a couple of songs off their new album that they quietly released last year. The band have also revealed the name of their 2018/2019 tour is the We Need More Money Now That TV Ads Have Stopped Licensing Our Singles Tour.

The tour will start with a few shows in America before playing side stages at a few festivals in the UK and then returning to America for the rest of the year. Whilst the setlist is unknown at the time of writing this article, it's thought that hit songs such as "The One With The Catchy Chorus But Forgettable Everything Else", "We Got A Female Musician To Sing In The Background Of This One" and "No, This Song Isn't By THAT Band After All" will be played along with newer songs like "We're Slightly Heavier Now We're A Bit Older" and "Cover Of A 70s Song To Gain A Bit Of Media Attention".

When asked about the tour, the frontman stated "It's good to get back on tour again, especially after our guitarist had a bit of trouble with a difficult divorce settlement. Plus, the drummer has kids now so he's constantly looking for a way to get out of the house for a lengthy period of time AND relive his past before his dreams died. All in all, it just feels like the right time for us to get back out there and introduce our melodic yet indistinct sounds to a brand new audience who love Alternative Rock, chill tunes and most importantly, hollow 90s nostalgia. I don't know if this tour would be possible without a generation of twentysomethings who've convinced themselves that the 90s were great just because things are so relentlessly shitty now".

The band (who may or may not be pictured right?) split up in 2006 after disappointing sales for their album We Didn't Adapt When We Should Have resulted in their record label prematurely ending their contract. Since then, members from the band have attempted to launch solo careers and form supergroups with members of other neglected 90s Alternative Rock bands who failed to adapt and innovate their sound in time to salvage their careers. However, neither attempt proved successful for any band member.

After a desperate few years relying on royalties from TV adverts and radio stations who don't quite understand the meaning of "oldies", the band eventually decided to get back together after seeing the rise of older bands releasing comeback albums and going on greatest hits tours around the early 2010s. Since then, they've been preparing for their opportunity to milk another 15 minutes out of the public and are currently sharing the stage at various UK festivals with other classic acts such as Experimental Synth Pop Wankers, Two Women Playing Cheesy Pop Rock, An OK Comedian With An Acoustic Guitar, Some 70s Funk Band With About 30 Members and Chesney Hawkes. Tickets are on sale now and probably will be for a while.

That's the end of the news for this month!

COMING SOON: Rapid Fire and probably a video game post.

Attention Attention - Shinedown

Ho hum, another month of delayed posts, by the looks of it.
Anyway, let's start things off with a review I forgot to do in May!

If I hadn't listened to Shinedown's back catalogue before listening to this album, I probably wouldn't have been so keen to give this album a try based on the first few tracks I heard. They're not bad songs but despite being heavier than singles released from their last album like "Cut The Cord" and "Black Cadillac", the amount of actual Rock songs on Attention Attention is a bit too slim. Album opener "The Entrance" is a pointless atmospheric introduction (yay concept albums!) to the true album opener "Devil", a solid lead single with heavier percussion, a great guitar riff and some catchy backing vocals in the chorus. This song's a good example of Shinedown's ability to write good Rock songs built around a single musical hook and multiple vocal melodies; it's just a shame it's not the best representative for the album to come.
As someone who liked The Sound Of Madness and Amaryllis more than Threat To Survival, it's good to hear tracks with more power translated through each instrument into proper Rock. Songs like "Pyro" and "Evolve" are energetic and contain some more aggressive vocals and riffs to kick down your ear-doors whilst title track "Attention Attention" is a good song for fans of previous material due to the slower, punchier rhythm and lack of needless experimentation. However, these Rock songs are the smoked ham and mustard between damp, mushy slices of Pop bread in this disappointment sandwich.
"Get Up" and "Special", a pair of straight-up Pop songs built around piano melodies and featuring string/synth accompaniments instead of guitar riffs and pounding percussion, might have the passion as far as songwriting goes but they'd be more at home on a Take That album, blasted out by some floppy haired twat on one of those vapid talent shows about hard-done by twenty year olds who just really want to make music for an audience of about 70 million paying customers. I'm aware that Shinedown are no strangers to the softer, more emotional material but something about these tracks felt more hollow; more commercial. That's my biggest issue with the album.

The bulk of the music would easily fall into the Pop Rock bargain bucket, right next to Fall Out Boy ("Kill Your Conscience") and Goo Goo Dolls ("Creatures"), even if the band have put their own unique twist on these tracks. "Black Soul" does a good job of compensating for the introduction with a heavy chorus but what we needed was more tracks like "Monsters" or "Darkside"; songs that are slower, still vocally driven but contain those great guitar melodies and the energy of a Rock song, even if they also feature those Pop aspects here and there.
Thankfully, the band limit their curiosity to experiment to one track at the end of the album: "The Human Radio". The bizarre mix of Electronic and Rock could've been a great song with a few more Rock elements but otherwise, it's not bad. The use of vocoders and more prominent synth melodies reminded me of Muse without the pretentiousness and it's a good song to listen to before "Brilliant", the uplifting outro and strong finish to a mediocre record...up until the last minute of noise, but you can ignore that. Despite my general panning of the more commercial aspects of the album, the band do a great job of arranging the musical variety without compromising the narrative about overcoming mental issues related to low self-esteem and negativity.
The Rock tracks have been strategically placed between Pop (Rock) numbers to avoid a monotonous sound and to give fans old and new something to get stuck into if they want to pick and choose tracks instead of enjoying it all in one sitting as intended. Plus, due to the commercial nature of the album, the mix and production values are on the upper-middle end of the Rock scale. This album definitely could've been a lot worse and whilst I wasn't hyped going into it based on Threat To Survival and what I'd heard of it so far, I don't feel like I've been insulted in the way albums with too many Pop elements like Concrete And Gold - Foo Fighters left me feeling.

From the perspective of someone who likes Rock/Metal music, Attention Attention is either an awesome Pop album or a weak Rock one. I personally would've preferred maybe one or two more (Hard) Rock tracks instead of Pop Rock or Pop songs but at least it didn't suffer from the second half slump that modern Rock/Metal albums tend to do. I rate it 5/10 and would recommend it to people who don't lean too heavily towards being a Rock or Pop fan, as it rides the line for casual listeners but won't win any prizes for either genre. However, bands like Metallica could learn a thing or two from the tracklist and musical variety; it's refreshing to hear an album that doesn't feature all the stronger material in the first 50% followed by complete and utter shite until the final track in order to trick listeners into thinking they've heard a great album.