Tenology: More Weak Guitar Solos In Rock/Metal

I know it hasn't been long since the last blog post about weak solos but in typical Riffs And Raffs tradition, I recalled about eight songs with weak solos right after finishing the first post. Similar to the last post, these aren't necessarily "bad" guitar solos; they're ones that sound underwhelming or poor in comparison to what the band is capable of. Also similar to the last post, I'll try not to dwell too much on solos I've criticised in previous blog posts but I might slip a couple in just to justify my personal (and this post is largely personal) thoughts on why it's weak.
If you want to listen to each of these songs and their respective solos, scroll to the bottom of the page for an embedded Spotify playlist with each track. I've also included the time the solo starts next to each song title and artist in the list headings in case you just want to listen to the solo whilst reading the post.

1. "(Don't Fear) The Reaper" - Blue Oyster Cult (2:43)

So this is one of the guitar solos I've often criticised on the blog, hence me getting it out of the way first. I love the song and I've talked about how much I love Buck Dharma's guitar playing when it comes to both riffs and solos but I've always thought this song stopped being awesome right after the second chorus. The song's built around an awesome riff and chord progression but once it's time for the solo, the track takes a sharp and awkward turn into a completely different song. It sounds like something they couldn't fit onto another track and chose to tape onto this one...or maybe it was chosen to be a darker twist in the song's melody to signify the song's story about vampires and their victims, although that doesn't excuse it for sounding like dogshit.
Aside from the opening series of notes, there's nothing hugely memorable about the solo and the way it ties into the rest of the track. It doesn't show off technical talent or contain catchy hooks like the song's main riff, it just sounds like Buck's winging it after an imagination drought. It probably could've been improved with more melodic riffs and less dull sustains but it's hard to say, as I feel like I'm conditioned to hate it as soon as the bridge before the solo starts.

2. "Holiday" - Green Day (2:00)

Green Day aren't your typical screeching solo Rock band so I didn't feel like they were an appropriate band for the last blog post. However, since writing the last post, I've realised that Green Day have actually given us a couple of solid solos such as the one from "American Idiot" and "Jesus Of Suburbia". Sure, they're not great in comparison to Zeppelin and Iron Maiden tunes but they work in the songs and showcase some decent guitar playing. "Holiday" has a solo that sounds forced and uninspired, even for Green Day.
It's not quite as bad as simply reciting the vocal melody (we'll get onto that later) but it is far too short and far too simplistic to be considered a good solo, even for the song. It sounds like something that should play under the vocals during the last chorus, not the instrumental break that 90% of Rock songs use to release the energy they've built up throughout the course of the song. But hey, at least the rest of the song's OK, I guess.

3. "Woman From Tokyo" - Deep Purple (4:40)

I was tempted to pick "Smoke On The Water" for this list, as I've always found the solo to be a bit underwhelming in an already dull track. However, upon revisiting it, I realised that it's not actually that "weak" in comparison to the rest of the song. In comparison to other Deep Purple guitar solos, hell yeah it's weak...but then, so's this solo and my God, this solo makes "Smoke On The Water" sound like "Burn". As far as Deep Purple songs go, this one's pretty white bread. Basic riff, bland vocal melody but a good structure. The song plods along until the last minute, where the pianos pick up a bit and a guitar solo's set up...and it sucks.
It's a non-solo, a bit of fluff that sounds like the first part of an actual solo but as it stands, it's just terrible. The obvious improvement to it would be to make it longer but the song's already getting on towards the fifth minute and as I previously said, it's not really anything special. Extending a filler track with no life or character to six minutes is a surefire way to create a forgettable and unnecessary song (just look at some of the band's other tracks for proof). Or just don't include a solo! Not every song needs one and I'd rather it was a tighter package without one than forcing some hollow shit into a passable track.

4. "Californication" - Red Hot Chili Peppers (3:29)

I've said before that Red Hot Chili Peppers are a band that are strongest with softer songs in the Alternative Rock genre rather than heavier Funk based ones. This song is no exception and contains your typical RHCP sound at its finest right up until the solo. It sounds disjointed and out of place, enough to take you right out of the song with its awkward note bends and clashing harmonics. It sounds like a beginner's first attempt at writing a "deep" solo which, for John Frusciante, is the definition of weak.
A solo does work in this song but it needs to have a bit more meat to it than this. It doesn't have to be "Suck My Kiss" but it would benefit from some more melodic work; think the solo from "Cirice" - Ghost, it's competent and feels like the culmination of what the song's been building up to. It doesn't sound like a poor fit or that it's a waste of talent like "Californication" does.

5. "Armageddon It" - Def Leppard (3:12)

One of the lesser known singles off the band's biggest album and with good reason. It's a bog standard tune for Def Leppard from the album that had "Rocket" and "Pour Some Sugar On Me" but it didn't do the band a lot of favours with fans of traditional British Rock as opposed to overproduced American Arena Rock, especially when it came to the guitar solo. The solo itself isn't all that bad; it's a little plain and could easily be longer but musically, it works for the song. The biggest problem with it is the tone.
The solo is played with guitar synthesiser and it sounds fucking naff. This is a good example of when overproducing something can make it worse, as a typical guitar sound instead of synthetic nonsense would've helped steer it away from this blog post. There's also a small guitar solo that fades out with vocals in the outro of this song but again, it's nothing worth getting excited about.

6. "Smells Like Teen Spirit" - Nirvana (2:52)

I've briefly touched upon this solo being pissweak in the past but now I get to retread that ground with the rest of the song to back me up in an embedded Spotify playlist! I get that Nirvana aren't about guitar solos but this song was as commercial as they came and with that means they needed a solo in their song, since they were clearly going for a popular sounding Rock song (presumably one of the subconscious reasons the main riff sounds like a twisted version of the chorus riff from "More Than A Feeling" - Boston). It obviously wasn't going to be a solo full of noise and furious strumming but it does lack any kind of imagination.
I've said it multiple times before and I'll say it again, solos that simply play the vocal melody or chord sequence of the main riff are not good solos. This song literally just plays Cobain's vocals in the verse before giving us another verse! If it was the vocal melody BEFORE a great solo, I would've let it slide for giving us something. Unfortunately, it gets the solo completely wrong but hey, it's one of the most iconic Rock songs in the last half century so I doubt anyone involved in the songwriting process (who's still alive) is crying themselves to sleep over missed opportunities.

7. "All You Need Is Love" - The Beatles (1:18)

This song will always remind me of the final episode of The Prisoner. It had a great use but I never really got into the song due to its overproduction and weak melodies, another fine example of polishing something insubstantial in the hopes it'll become amazing. However, the worst part of the song has to be the pathetic excuse for a guitar solo. If you haven't heard the song in a while and don't recall it sounding offensively bad, I recommend never listening to this song and the solo again as your false memories of a passable solo are better than the original will ever be.
It sounds like a shitty covers band attempting to play the actual solo but messing up all the way through, complete with rough note bends and the guitarist eventually just fucking giving up in the middle of it. These are all signs of a bad solo before you get onto the fact that it's just repeating the opening vocal melody. George Harrison has given us some cracking solos in the past but this takes the absolute piss.

8. "Everybody Wants Some!!" - Van Halen (2:34)

Ah yes, the song that "Panama" made redundant. I think I prefer the guitar riff and chorus for this over "Panama" but God, David Lee Roth didn't make this song pleasantly memorable with his weird sexual improv during the breaks and the delivery of some of his lines in the verses ("I seek a poopoo ladder lookin' for a moopee" is the best I can make out at 1:55). However, if Lee Roth fails, you can always rely on EVH to make a song great, right? Right...just not in this case. Eddie phoned it in when it came to writing a solo and chose to just play a descending note pattern without his trademark tapping or imaginative shredding.
The closest he comes to showcasing some great guitarwork is when he rapidly strums the same notes but even then, it's not much for a man of his talents. I can appreciate that he only has so many guitar solos that are iconic or awesome before the inevitable drought or unintentional recycling of ideas comes in but it's not like this song came out well into the band's career. This song came out before Fair Warning and 1984, albums with fine solos (although "Unchained" is a bit dodgy). Ah well, at least we've always got Lee Roth's one-sided conversation about stockings to enjoy.

9. "Suffocated" - Orianthi (2:23)

I talked about this song in my write-up of the Guitar Hero: Warriors Of Rock soundtrack and whilst my opinion on Orianthi as a musician has changed since I first played that game, my opinion of the song has not. It's generic Pop Rock garbage with utterly soulless shredding crammed in on more than one occasion. In this case, the "solo" is the brief section in between the middle eight and the final chorus where Orianthi showcases her talents as a guitarist but not as a songwriter. I could've picked the "According To You" solo for basically the same reasons except that solo has its place in the song, even though it's the audio equivalent of Orianthi loudly shouting "LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT ME!" (although you could probably say that for most guitar solos in Rock).
No, I went with "Suffocated" because the bland shredding, whining vocals and Pop structure don't blend together at all. If you're one of those teenagers who thinks great guitarists are ones who can fit as many notes into a short space of time as possible without considering the quality of the sound, melody and dynamics, you'll probably think this song's the shit. If you want a solo that tells a story, that feels like it belongs in a piece of music and isn't just taped on for the sake of it, you're better off listening to something else.

10. "Cinnamon Girl" - Neil Young with Crazy Horse (2:06)

I remember seeing this song on a list of amazing guitar solos or something along those lines and to this day, I have no fucking idea why. At least overrated solos like "Comfortably Numb" and "Stairway To Heaven" have some musical creativity and skill behind them. This solo's just the same fucking note over and over again! The rhythm guitar is more active than the lead, for crying out loud. It's lazier than repeating the vocal melody on guitar and it sounds like toss, the only downside to a great Classic Rock track.
I could forgive the terrible solo if the outro went somewhere, as it sounds like the song's going to kick things into the next gear similar to the guitar solo in "Heartbreaker" - Led Zeppelin but nope. That's not the Neil Young way! Instead, it just ends on a strong note shortly after a pissweak one. I don't even need to talk about how the solo could be improved, it just needed more than a couple of notes. Still, the song's still good and the crap solo was enough to inspire a Tenacious D skit on their first album. That's right, this song made them think of "Hard Fucking" because the solo fucks the listener hard in the ears.


I didn't expect that I'd be writing another one of these posts so soon after the first so for all we know, I'll be cracking another one of these out in a week. That or a video game post so you've got that to look forward to.
Until then, here's the Spotify playlist with all the songs listed above.

Christmas Christmas - Cheap Trick

Yes, I know it's November and I'm reviewing a new Christmas album but if you want someone to blame, blame Cheap Trick for putting it out two months early...or for putting it out at all.

Christmas Christmas by Cheap Trick Cheap Trick isn't exactly a brand new studio album as 8/12 songs are covers, although it's not a collection of traditional Christmas carols/tunes awkwardly recorded as Rock songs either. Most of the covers included are of Rock songs with Christmas themes but there are a couple of new tracks written by the band, such as album opener "Merry Christmas Darlings". Naturally, it contains all the hallmarks of a Christmas Pop/Rock song from the rhythm you can dance to to the festive choice of percussion but it sounds more like the band's attempt to rerecord Slade's hit "Merry Xmas Everybody", an odd choice as they actually went ahead and rerecorded that song for this album anyway.
It doesn't try to be anything different than a celebration of Christmas music we all know and (mostly) love from the past, which makes it a perfect album opener. As much as Christmas music has begun to grate on me over the last year or so, I can't deny that there's something special about the Christmas singles from the 70s compared to the hollow or depressing shite that's put out now. Maybe it's just because it's had several decades to become part of established tradition or maybe they're just better Pop songs than ones whining about how it "doesn't really feel like Christmas at all". Either way, Cheap Trick made the right choice with the general theme of the song selection in order to create a proper Christmas Rock album.
Previous Rock bands/artists have tried turning carols and public domain tunes into Rock songs before (Bruce Springsteen and Twisted Sister come to mind) and it always sounds fucking naff. It sounds like the festive equivalent of rapping grannies and whilst Cheap Trick did stoop to that level with their version of "Silent Night", the lion's share of the album features covers of lesser known songs by The Kinks, Ramones and Chuck Berry that were meant to be blasted out out speakers, not sung by children door to door in the snow.

However, there are a few downsides to this commendable attempt at bringing the energy and fun back to Christmas songs. Some of the song choices are questionable, such as the combination of Bluesy "Please Come Home For Christmas" and operatic "Remember (Christmas)" from the 1974 soundtrack to the film Son Of Dracula that ironically sucks all the life force out of the record like cabin depressurisation during a flight gone disastrously wrong. They were likely included as a sort of tongue-in-cheek attempt to be completely different from previous Christmas compilations, although it's a shame they're dull as dishwater.
Then there's the quality of the Rock covers in general. As ambitious as Cheap Trick were in their vision, they really fucked up the delivery. "Father Christmas" is one of two Christmas songs I don't dislike at the moment and Cheap Trick absolutely ruined it with a slower tempo and complete lack of passion in their recording. The whole point of the song is that it's meant to be a punchy, anti-Christmas anthem about poverty that doesn't come across as mawkish as the Band Aid wank. It should be feisty and gritty like The Kinks pulled off but the cover fails on every level. I wouldn't mind as much if it was just my favourite Christmas song they screwed up but it's not the only dud on the album.
"Merry Xmas Everybody" is a limp recreation of the iconic anthem recorded by Slade, as proven by the band's choice to not feature Robin Zander screaming "IT'S CHRIIIIIIIIIIIISTMAAAAAAAS" at the end. If Cheap Trick know they've got nothing on Noddy, why bother in the first place? Covers have three reasons for existing: tribute to the original in a faithful rerecording, making a song your own through various changes or bland recreation in an attempt to capitalise on someone else's talent. Since the band did nothing to alter the song in any overly-discernible way (other than off-putting vocal delivery of lines throughout) and they didn't have the bottle to go full Slade, it starts to come across as more of the third option than the other two.

As for the two remaining original Christmas songs, "Our Father Of Life" and "Christmas Christmas", the former sounds more like a traditional hymn and the latter starts off like a great Rock song before ending at the 1:39 mark and filling the rest of the song with pointless white noise. It could've turned things around but I suppose it's fitting that the album's title track starts off promising before falling to shit and leaving you with a bad taste in your ears...yes, your ears. My ears taste like crap now thanks to this album.
Whether you're a fan of Cheap Trick's crowd-pleasing style of Rock or Christmas hits from yesteryear, Christmas Christmas is a let down. The biggest positives are gained from the idea of the album itself but once it's brought to life, the band fail to deliver on what they presumably thought sounded amazing on paper too. I rate it 4/10 for some serviceable filler tracks but mostly the ambition behind it, as I feel like I gained no festive cheer or merriment from any of the songs apart from the first minute and a half of the final track which was promptly dragged into a dimly lit car park and given a good kicking by the last 35 seconds anyway.
You might like some of the covers if you've never heard the originals but I honestly think you'd gain more from a Spotify playlist containing the three original Cheap Trick songs and the original versions of all their covers, minus "Silent Night" unless you have a soft spot for Christmas carols. I'm hesitant to say this album's just another lump of coal in the stocking because coal at least has some value and purpose that it fulfils adequately; this album's more like the excessive plastic wrapping inside the packaging for toys that takes ages to dismantle and only succeeds in pissing you off. Merry fucking November.

Shout Out: Doctor Who Series 3 (Original Television Soundtrack) - Murray Gold & The BBC National Orchestra Of Wales

I've written about orchestrated music twice before on this blog; once when looking at an album of orchestrated Rush songs and again when discussing various covers by the Vitamin String Quartet. This time, I'm dedicating a short blog post to one of my favourite (if not my number one favourite) television score in recent memory.
The orchestrated soundtrack to the third series of Doctor Who.

Whilst the music in Doctor Who has mostly felt incidental at best (with the exception of several character themes between the first and fifth series), I remember actively recalling the musical stings and melodies from the third series almost as clearly as the plot twists and striking visual imagery the show provided. However, the shining diamond on the crown jewel that is the soundtrack has to be album opener and recurring tune "All The Strange, Strange Creatures". I can remember hearing it for the first time in a special effects reel (along with subsequent trailers for the series) and feeling exhilarated. To this day, I still think it's the best piece of music Doctor Who has ever given us...except maybe "I Am The Doctor". I just wish the main melody went on longer than 1:23, kind of like it does in this version.
The soundtrack also introduces us to new character themes in the form of "Martha's Theme", "The Master Vainglorious" and "The Doctor Forever", a magnificent piece that perfectly encapsulates Tennant's Doctor with a sombre, magnificent introduction shortly before a whimsical section full of life and joy. Variations on these pieces appear throughout the series to emphasise certain character moments but the multitude of episodes each contain their own unique score to give each chapter of the series its own feel or to punctuate iconic scenes with music unlike anything else in the show so far, e.g. "The Carrionites Swarm" or "Smith's Choice".
Some of these tracks were used in later episodes whilst (I believe) none of the pieces from the first two series' were used in full throughout this one. However, there are some upgraded tracks with added depth and additional melodies such as "Boe" (wondrously used twice in the series, exactly the right amount to deliver maximum impact) and two specially written songs; one for the lacklustre Daleks In Manhattan/Evolution Of The Daleks two-parter entitled "My Angel Put The Devil In Me" and the other for the lacklustre Christmas special Voyage Of The Damned entitled "The Stowaway", somewhat of a sneak peek as the soundtrack was released before December 2007.

Overall, series three may not be everyone's personal favourite (although it does contain Blink, an episode that Whovians and casual fans unanimously believe to be the single greatest episode the show's ever given us) but I'd be surprised to learn that it doesn't contain at least one piece of music that you don't get some kind of pleasure from, whether it's the racing thrill from "The Runaway Bride", the light-hearted cheese of "Gridlocked Cassinis" (that's often used as background music in the UK version of The Apprentice, if you're interested) or the beautiful "This Is Gallifrey: Our Childhood, Our Home".
The only downside to the soundtrack that stops it from being absolutely perfect is the lack of a few tunes used throughout the series and occasionally in the next one (musical sections similar to "The Doctor Forever" used at the end of The Lazarus Experiment and The Family Of Blood). However, I would still strongly recommend this soundtrack to anyone who likes Doctor Who and wants a single collection of some of the best music the show's ever used.

1. All The Strange, Strange Creatures

2. Martha's Theme

3. Drowning Dry

4. The Carrionites Swarm

5. Gridlocked Cassinis

6. Boe

7. Evolution Of The Daleks

8. My Angel Put The Devil In Me

9. Mr Smith And Joan

10. Only Martha Knows

11. Smith's Choice

12. Just Scarecrows To War

13. Miss Joan Redfern

14. The Dream Of A Normal Death

15. The Doctor Forever

16. Blink (Suite)

17. The Runaway Bride

18. After The Chase

19. The Futurekind

20. YANA (Excerpt)

21. The Master Vainglorious

22. Martha's Quest

23. This Is Gallifrey: Our Childhood, Our Home

24. Martha Triumphant

25. Donna's Theme

26. The Stowaway

27. The Master Tape

28. Abide With Me

ALBUM RATING - 9/10

Yes, it's not really Rock or Metal (although "The Futurekind" and "The Master Tape" feature some heavy riffing). Normal service on the blog will be resumed relatively soon.

Supernatural, Seasons 1-5

I probably should've written this for Halloween but sadly only had the idea for it on Bonfire Night. Similar to blog posts about Brutal Legend and GTA, this post is going to take a look at some of the highs and lows of the soundtrack to the TV series Supernatural.
Since the show's been going for over ten years now, I'm focusing entirely on seasons 1-5 in this post as that was when the show (and soundtrack) was at its strongest. However, I may look at later seasons in the future. I should also note that whilst I might mention the score in these posts, this is primarily a look at the licensed music for the show and the history surrounding certain musical decisions.

If you've heard of Supernatural but have never watched it, your experience is probably poor to middling at best. Whilst the show's fandom has been engulfed by affected teenage girls and the united forces of tumblr pages themed around anything with David Tennant, Benedict Cumberbatch and a pumpkin with a weed logo and curly hair in it, the show isn't just Twilight Unchained. I first got into the show when a friend of mine explained to me over Twitter that the show consisted of two brothers driving around, killing monsters as they listen to Classic Rock and whilst the show deals with moments of forced emotion now and then as mid-season plot arcs develop, this description remains valid from the season 1 pilot to the season 5 finale and beyond.
So why does a show about two hunky brothers (Sam and Dean Winchester) fighting vampires, ghouls and racist trucks feature a soundtrack consisting of Lynyrd Skynyrd, AC/DC, Black Sabbath and many more from, to quote Sam Winchester, "the greatest hits of Mullet Rock"? The short answer is because of Eric Kripke, showrunner for the first five seasons and renowned Classic Rock fan. The long answer is because in the pilot episode, Eric made sure to include a scene where Sam and Dean discuss Dean's taste in music, even going as far as to include a line in the script stage directions instructing TV executives to "take your anemic alternative Pop and shove it up your ass". Eric reasoned that featuring a scene would make it part of the show's mythology and, sure enough, he was spot on. However, since then, Dean's love of 70s Rock has played an important part in the shaping of his character and the show in general.

Before I get too much into that, I should probably tell you exactly what the show's about from a specific plot related point of view. Also, if you're considering watching the show, maybe skip this entire section as I'll be briefly touching on a couple of plot spoilers in my description of the first five seasons.
In Supernatural, monsters exist. Vampires, zombies, Bloody Mary, ghosts, demons, wendigos, Pagan Gods, werewolves and creatures spawned through cursed artifacts and/or black magic. However, they don't just walk about the street; they hide and occasionally pick off unlucky sods to feast on their flesh or just plain old revenge. Hunters, as you probably figured out from the word 'Hunters', find these monsters and kill them before they kill too many teenage boys or "TV attractive" women. That's where Sam and Dean come in; they're hunters and have been ever since their mum was killed by a yellow-eyed demon. Their dad, John, vowed to find and slay the demon that killed his wife and in the process, trained his two children to be hunters along with him.
Season one deals with the now adult brothers getting back into hunting together after Sam left to go to college (motivated by the death of his girlfriend, also by the yellow-eyed demon) and their father went missing whilst "on a hunt". However, over the course of the show's first five seasons, the plot evolves into SO MUCH MORE. We get plotlines and arcs involving psychic children, selling souls, a plan to open a gateway to Hell, angels bringing the dead back to life, a conspiracy to break Lucifer out of his prison and the motherfucking apocalypse.
In four seasons, the show transforms from a show looking at urban legend folklore and Western mythology in heartland America to one dealing with Christianity and global peril...all whilst featuring two brothers driving around in a muscle car killing monsters and listening to Classic Rock. Whilst the show took on more of a freeform plot structure in later seasons, the way a simple show about wanting to avenge their mum on behalf of their dad transitioned into one about two archangels settling a millennia old grudge whilst still feeling like it was all part of the same interconnected story provided some fantastic examples of storytelling with a wide variety of characters you cared about until they almost certainly died in a blaze of glory...and whilst the show changed around them, the soundtrack (for the most part) did not.



SPOILERS OVER



Season one contained a solid collection of greatest hits but most tracks were often used at the end of an episode after the brothers had vanquished the beast or near the start as they rode into town, the sound of Ratt, Quiet Riot or UFO blaring through the Impala during a standard establishing shot. Music was largely incidental but there were a few uses now and then that felt deliberate, perfectly employed to capture the mood and themes of the scene in a way that I can still picture in my head just under a decade or so after watching them for the first (and only) time.
These instances include the use of "In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida" - Iron Butterfly during a cold open in which police stealthily surround the house of a serial killer who turns out to be Dean Winchester (dun dun DAAHHHHHHH), "Bad Company" - Bad Company when a character you thought was pretty cool turned out to be a throat slitting demon in disguise, "Bad Moon Rising" - Creedence Clearwater Revival during the season finale cliffhanger and, my personal favourite, "(Don't Fear) The Reaper" - Blue Oyster Cult as a Reaper pursues a jogger in the woods, draining their life to cure a faith healer's patient. Some of these uses might sound a little on the nose but the way their used in the show couldn't be more fitting and awesome.
As I mentioned earlier, the soundtrack helped shape the feel of the show and gave the audience a better understanding of Dean's character. You realise that the man has spent almost his entire life trying to be his dad, to the point that he's literally driving his car, wearing his clothes and (you guessed it) listening to all his music. It's an extra layer to integral character development and now and then, comes in handy when the brothers are trying to solve a case...OK, it mostly just came in handy when Dean realised that the symbol for Blue Oyster Cult was part of some fake mystical symbols painted somewhere, but it's better than just having their music as background noise.

After season one's strong start, season two kept that train a-rollin' with more of the same. This time, since the show was building its own mythology, we had more "Previously on Supernatural..." montages at the start of the episode which gave us an opportunity to watch supercuts of the brothers killing monsters to the sound of "Wheel In The Sky" - Journey or "Foreplay/Long Time" - Boston. Not only that but season two marked the start of one of the show's staples; using "Carry On Wayward Son" - Kansas, the unofficial anthem for the show due to the nature of the song's lyrics and the fact that Sam and Dean are actually from Kansas, during the season recap at the start of finales, a trend that's been used in every single season to this very date (I think. I haven't finished season 12 but I'm pretty sure they have done).
Aside from this new use of music, previous uses have been echoed. We still get incidental tunes as the brothers discuss cases or drive off onto their next adventure and we still get amazing music moments such as the use of "White Rabbit" - Jefferson Airplane or "Renegade" - Styx but the show didn't need to deviate too much. It was in its second year so fans expect to see more of the same with some improvements here and there, which is exactly what they got. Season three should've been incredible, right? Weeeellllll...

Season three had a couple of negative factors despite being pretty solid overall. For starters, the writer's strike meant the season had a reduced number of episodes which meant less budget for expensive Classic Rock hits. However, even though the casual uses of Billy Squire or Rush were reduced, this did mean that specific song uses struck with more precision and (often) hilarity. Plus, season three had a heavier plot to deal with now that [SPOILERS RELATING TO WHAT HAPPENED AT THE END OF SEASON 2] so random Classic Rock songs in the background of important scenes as opposed to comical ones probably would've distracted viewers from that.
Still, season three features "You Ain't Seen Nothing Yet" - Bachman Turner Overdrive in the background as Sam walks in on his brother having sex with twins, "Hocus Pocus" - Focus as the brothers and amateur ghost hunters set up cameras in a documentary style episode, "Wanted Dead Or Alive" - Bon Jovi as the brothers bond over what could be their last ever hunt together in the season finale ("Bon Jovi rocks...on occasion" is one of my favourite lines from the show) and most important of all, "Heat Of The Moment" - Asia at the starts of the worst day of Sam's life...and no, that's not a grammatical mistake.
By now, the show had garnered a fanbase of teenage girls and dudes who liked Sci-Fi/Supernatural drama with splashes of action throughout. As a result of this and the aforementioned budget issue, Classic Rock songs slowly began to fade away from the show's mythology as it became more about the drama between the brothers and the impending doom they were facing. Instead of being one of the show's many unique attributes, the use of iconic Classic Rock hits was more of a nostalgia fuelled punchline enhancer and sadly, this continued through season four.

Despite being one of the stronger seasons the show's ever had, the soundtrack was hit and miss. The season opened with a couple of well known hits such as "You Shook Me All Night Long" - AC/DC and "Lonely Is The Night" - Billy Squier in opening montages but it was clear that Classic Rock was no longer being sought out. The show even had an episode set in the 70s but the closest thing to proper Classic Rock it featured was "Ramblin' Man" - The Allman Brothers Band, a song used in season one already. Then there's "Eye Of The Tiger" - Survivor, a song used as background music in an episode that only became popular after a hilarious post credits outtake featuring the actor playing Dean miming along with the vocals.
Aside from random muzak and no-name bands that were licensed for certain scenes, there aren't really any memorable music moments aside from the ones I've mentioned and "Ready For Love" - Bad Company that plays whilst Dean bones an angel. Instead, the job of amplifying the emotion in a scene via music was left to the Supernatural score. Fortunately, it did the job well although unfortunately, this meant that Classic Rock was no longer needed in the same way as it was before. At this point, it made diminishing sense thematically due to Dean's character changes, although the show didn't go full-blown ridiculous by making Dean a fan of Indie/Alternative.
There's an episode where Dean bonds with a guy over their love of Led Zeppelin and another where he reveals his favourite songs are a tie between Led Zeppelin's "Ramble On" and "Travelling Riverside Blues". Hell, even one of the songs in the score entitled "Dean's Dirty Organ (Brother's Guitar Theme)" - Jay Gruska and Christopher Lennertz that's used throughout the entire series sounds like the show's own homage to "Good Times Bad Times" - Led Zeppelin, since they couldn't license any Zep songs without breaking the bank. The show was aware of its past but wouldn't let it get in the way of the climactic tale it was telling, which brings us neatly onto season five.

Season five was the culmination of all the previous seasons; the big bad was as big as you could possibly get (even though the show tried to go bigger in season eleven and failed miserably) and the individual stakes for each character were sky high for a multitude of reasons. Similar to the previous season, we got a concentrated burst of great Classic Rock tunes in the first few opening montages such as "Thunderstruck" - AC/DC and "Long, Long Way From Home" - Foreigner and a couple of great little uses now and then too, such as "Spirit In The Sky" - Norman Greenbaum when Sam and Dean walk through a war-torn village and "Simple Man" - Lynyrd Skynyrd during a montage contrasting the lives Sam and Dean are living having gone their separate ways. However, much like season four, these are all in the first three episodes. After that, it's somewhat of a Classic Rock drought.
Once again, it's not as if there were a lack of opportunities for this. There's an episode where fans of the brothers' adventures are having a sort of Supernatural-Con at a hotel, all dressed up as Sam and Dean and staging their own little adventures. There could've been a great moment where a cheesy but well known Classic Rock hit starts playing from the radio (something by Bryan Adams or Jefferson Starship, since it's since been established in the show that Dean dislikes that band) and all the fake Deans pretend to love it whilst the fake Sams groan, only for the real Dean to hate it due to it being too corporate and the real Sam to kind of dig it as a guilty pleasure. I dunno, would've been better than generic Blues based background music.
We get a few more Classic Rock tracks this season and a few memorable moments such as "Knockin' On Heaven's Door" - Bob Dylan in an episode where the brothers literally die and go to heaven or "Oye Como Va" - Santana as the hunters prepare to take on the big bad before they literally summon Death. However, the most memorable moment has to be the use of "Rock Of Ages" - Def Leppard in the season finale. It's not the best Def Leppard song but it works in the scene and defines Dean perfectly in that moment. Overall though, I think it's fair to say that as the quality of the writing and storytelling of the show increased, the great usage of 70s/80s Rock steadily decreased with a couple of anomalies peppered about here and there.

Luckily, in 2011, cast and crew members behind the show responded to fan complaints about the decline in Classic Rock usage and around the seventh season, we start getting a few more tunes creeping in (only for them to creep back out a couple of seasons later). However, you won't find a better collection of Classic "Mullet Rock" in the Supernatural's history than in the first five seasons...although mostly seasons 1-3.

Rapid Fire: Paramore, Steel Panther, Maximo Park

It's Rapid Fire time! This time, the theme is modern Rock albums heavily inspired by 80s music. We've got an album inspired by New Wave, an album inspired by Hair Metal and an album inspired by Alternative/Pop Rock. These are all albums released within the last ten years of writing this post so I consider them "new" or "modern" Rock albums, even though there are probably better albums I could've picked that are more recent.
Anyway, enough about that. Time to get tubular!


1. After Laughter - Paramore

I've made my thoughts on Paramore clear in the past so you might be asking yourself why I chose to discuss their latest album here. My girlfriend has been listening to this album non-stop recently but I have to say, I didn't actually hate it. It's a huge departure from their whiny, teen oriented faux-Rock sound into more of an upbeat, 80s New Wave affair and whilst there aren't any songs on the album that I love to the point of wanting to listen to them of my own free will, After Laughter does a good job of holding my interest until the last song is done.
As suggested by the album's name and cover, After Laughter is all about contrasting the pleasant, superficial visuals with more sombre lyrical themes. This is perfectly demonstrated in the album opener, "Hard Times". It might sound like something played during Disco Night at your local club but it's not all wine and roses when you give it a second listen. Whilst there are plenty of tracks that go great lengths to sound joyful by blending modern and 80s musical effects ("Told You So", "Grudges"), the band aren't afraid to get artistically mopey with their music when appropriate ("26", "Tell Me How") offering musical variety that keeps listeners engaged.
Overall, the band did a pretty great job of creating a new album that isn't all about hollow nostalgia. Sure, it's present but it feels less like a cheap attempt at getting noticed and more like an intentional desire to blend a musical sound people associate with happiness with lyrical themes about loss and depression. If the band combined these themes with exclusively modern Pop elements, it'd sound generic and probably too far removed from the band's sound. At least After Laughter's New Wave elements still trace back to the band's past as a Rock band, although I can't imagine fans of their high school Pop Rock dirge taking a liking to this as much as previous albums. Personally, I'd say it's great if you previously disliked Paramore and would recommend it to fans of 80s Pop.

1. Hard Times

2. Rose-Colored Boy

3. Told You So

4. Forgiveness

5. Fake Happy

6. 26

7. Pool

8. Grudges

9. Caught In The Middle

10. Idle Worship

11. No Friend

12. Tell Me How

ALBUM RATING - 7/10

Yes, I liked a Paramore album. It's motivated me to check out some more of their older stuff, although I wasn't a big fan of their self-titled album from a few years ago. Ah well, it's something. Next is an album that's also something!


2. Feel The Steel - Steel Panther

When I last discussed Steel Panther and their latest album, Lower The Bar, I talked about how they were overly reliant on their crude lyrics as a parody of the Hair Metal genre. Since this was their first album, I thought it'd be appropriate to look at the band before they started beating a dead horse. Naturally, this album is far stronger than Lower The Bar...and far more inappropriate, but I'll get onto that in a bit. Album opener "Death To All But Metal" is the audio equivalent to the opening fight scene in The Lego Batman Movie; all the cards are on the table and you find yourself asking "Jesus, how the hell can they possibly go higher than this?"
It consists of the band mouthing off against modern Pop/Rock artists such as blink-182 and Kanye West whilst also containing some amusing self-referential lyrics about their rhyme structure. It introduces you to Steel Panther and sets the tone for the rest of the album. However, just because the first song is a powerhouse of Hair Metal riffs and aggression, that doesn't mean the band shy away from power ballad parodies such as "Community Property" and "Stripper Girl". They're decent tracks but if the band wanted to sound like a real 80s Hair Metal band, they probably should've toned the production values down (or at least waited until follow up albums to use string accompaniments).
It's hard to describe this album without using the same phrases from my Lower The Bar review, as the band still lovingly yet subtly plagiarise their 80s Hard Rock influences such as Bon Jovi ("Party All Day") and Whitesnake ("Fat Girl") but the entire album is spoilt by dumb lyrics that milk mildly amusing gags raw. The only song I rate highly is one that was clearly written to get radio promotion, "Eyes Of A Panther", as it's just a solid Hair Metal track that isn't trying to be funny or rude. If the album had more of these on the standard edition tracklist, I'd like it a lot more, but as it stands it's a good joke gone too far.

1. Death To All But Metal

2. Asian Hooker

3. Community Property

4. Eyes Of A Panther

5. Fat Girl

6. Eatin' Ain't Cheatin'

7. Party All Day

8. Turn Out The Lights

9. Stripper Girl

10. The Shocker

11. Girl From Oklahoma

ALBUM RATING - 6/10

Finally, an album by a band I used to love and have probably seen live more than any other Rock/Metal group.

3. The National Health - Maximo Park

Despite sounding like a typical modern UK Indie band for their first three albums, I still rated Maximo Park better than other generic bands of a similar genre like Arctic Monkeys and Razorlight because they had a bit more energy to them. Their fourth album could be considered more of the same but to me, sounds a bit less like Rock and more like 80s Alternative and Synth-Pop blended into a new sound. Despite this, the album does start off as Rock. Album opener "When I Was Wild" is a minute long soft introduction to the true album opener and title track, "The National Health". This track inappropriately paints a picture of fast paced modern Rock but damn, it's a good tune.

A better opener probably would've been the lead single, "Hips And Lips". Sure, it has some Rock elements but it's largely built around New Romantic style vocals and synth melodies. The rest of the album contains a collection of Alternative tracks that once again blend familiarity of 80s groups such as REM with a more contemporary sound ("Until The Earth Would Open", "Wolf Among Men") and a few synth heavy tracks that wouldn't sound out of place at Goth clubs ("Banlieue").

This album feels more like a collection of songs thrown together than a solid, cohesive album. Overall, The National Health doesn't quite "experiment" as much as I imagine the band felt they did after releasing it but as a follow up to previous albums, it's pretty good. To me, the better tracks are ones where the Rock aspects take precedence over the Synth-Pop ones as opposed to mixing them evenly or giving Pop priority and the album doesn't feature too many of them. However, if you like modern Indie with a generous splashing of 80s Pop, I'd recommend this album. If you want more energetic Rock with some heavy keyboard accompaniment, check out Our Earthly Pleasures instead.

1. When I Was Wild

2. The National Health

3. Hips And Lips

4. The Undercurrents

5. Write This Down

6. Reluctant Love

7. Until The Earth Would Open

8. Banlieue

9. This Is What Becomes Of The Brokenhearted

10. Wolf Among Men

11. Take Me Home

12. Unfamiliar Places

13. Waves Of Fear

ALBUM RATING - 7/10

And that's October! Have a happy Halloween and I'll see you next month!

Tenology: Weak Guitar Solos in Rock/Metal

I've been considering this blog post for a while but a) I didn't have enough songs with bad solos to write about and b) I didn't want it to basically be a rehash of this post where I talked about the Dos & Don'ts of guitar solos, listing examples of songs that fucked up with reasons throughout. Therefore, I've slightly adapted the title to include more solos by calling them "weak" instead of outright "bad". This means that solos with missed potential or a lack of ambition count, as well as ones that sound like pure dogshit.
As always, Tenology posts are mostly reflections of my opinions at the time of writing the post. This means that not only are there tracks with solos you may consider awesome but there may be songs with weak solos I haven't written about due to forgetting or not being aware of them. Also, in a previous post looking at terrible aspects of great songs, I listed the cover of "Rock & Roll Pest Control" - The Presidents Of The United States Of America due to being a great track with the absolute worst guitar solo of all time. This song will not be featured in this post due to already being mentioned there but that doesn't mean my opinion on the track has changed.

At the bottom of this post is a Spotify playlist of all the songs listed so you can listen along as you read my thoughts on each solo. As an added bonus, I put the time the solo starts next to each title/artist heading so you can skip to that part if you so wish. It is NOT the length of the solo; these aren't Joe Bonamassa songs.

1. "I Want To Break Free" - Queen (1:32)

It's hard to choose the right Queen song to include on this post when they have a fair few with pretty poor guitar solos. Don't get me wrong, Brian May knows how to write a catchy riff but his soloing is arguably the band's weakest quality for one of the biggest Rock bands on the planet. The only notable guitar solos by Queen are usually the ones where there's naff all guitar beforehand such as "Don't Stop Me Now" and "Bohemian Rhapsody" and even then, in comparison to other solos, they're not amazing (although I concede that "I Want It All" has some fucking great guitarwork).
In the end, I chose this instead of "One Vision", "Keep Yourself Alive" or "Hammer To Fall" because unlike those solos, this has more than one flaw. Firstly, it starts off by repeating the vocal melody which is both uninspired and kinda lame considering it doesn't hold a candle to the sound of Freddie's voice. Secondly, the synth tone used on the guitar makes it sound tacky and a little comical, like the voice of one of the droids in a shitty Star Wars cartoon. Finally, there are various parts throughout containing dead air, so to speak. Whilst the rhythm section of the song keeps playing, the lead solo remains silent until a few awkward sounding sustains before more silence. It's weak songwriting for a band that knocked it out of the park on a multitude of occasions.

EDIT: OK, I fucked up. After posting this, I found out that it's NOT actually a guitar solo. It is indeed synth that was pretty much improvised during the recording session and boy, does it fucking sound improvised. However, Queen have played this song live with Brian May playing the synth solo on guitar and it still sounds like dogshit for all of the reasons listed above, even if the studio original technically doesn't have a guitar solo.
With that in mind, I'm keeping this as the first entry as I still feel like each of my points still stands. If you like, you can pretend I'm slagging off "One Vision" or "Hammer To Fall" for starting off with screeching, horrible guitar sustains (and for being too short in the case of the former) instead if you feel like I'm cheating you out of one genuine guitar solo here.

2. "Sunshine Of Your Love" - Cream (2:00)

If I'm being totally honest, I fucking hate this song in general. The riff is dull and repetitive, the mix is pretty terrible, the incessant cymbal crashes become annoying as hell (and can't be unheard; sorry) and the solo sounds like it was made up on the spot. The end section of the solo picks up a little bit but by that point, the damage is done. Eric Boring Clapton has already wanked his way through it with tepid riffs that are somehow both syncopated and dreary. This isn't his only shitfest solo with Cream, as "I Feel Free" is another example of how his limited technical skill impeded the quality of the solo. Then again, I fucking hate "I Feel Free" too due to it sounding like a godawful 50s croonfest.
Before you argue that this is the kind of song that works better as a slow, melodic piece of music rather than one full of shredding or self-indulgence, have a listen to the Jimi Hendrix instrumental cover on the posthumous Valleys Of Neptune album. It might go on a bit too long and basically transition into a different song during the middle but the actual "Sunshine Of Your Love" sections don't sound too bad when sped up and energised a little.

3. "Pull Me Under" - Dream Theater (6:06)

I once compared this song's guitar solo to that of "Master Of Puppets" - Metallica due to the fact that it took way too long to build up without enough of a satisfying payoff. Whilst I've warmed up to this song a little bit over the years, I still think it's a bit of a wet fart compared to others by the band or Petrucci as a solo artist. Part of the reason behind this was likely to make the song more appealing to the commercial audience, as it's easy to rearrange without completely ruining it in the same way the single edit does to tracks like "My Sharona" - The Knack.
It's not a bad solo by any stretch but I would definitely call it weak in the sense that the band are clearly capable of so much more. It would've been cool if they'd extended the solo with another double time section, similar to the first verse. That way, Petrucci could've ripped into a furious payoff that still could've been edited out for the single version whilst giving fans of album versions something to get excited about during the first six minutes of this relatively average eight minute signature song.

4. "Living After Midnight" - Judas Priest (2:15)

Continuing with the radio friendly commercial material, Judas Priest's breakthrough album contained a couple of belters but unfortunately, many casual listeners picked up on this white bread, slowed down "American Nights" rip-off due to its accessible vocal melodies and simplistic riffs. This isn't the only example of a fairly basic but popular track in Judas Priest's back catalogue, as "You've Got Another Thing Comin'" also features minimalist guitar riffs and a fairly stripped back solo. However, the difference between these two is the latter song actually gives the solo some structure with complexity that slowly increases over time instead of phoning it in like they did with "Living After Midnight".
As for this song, there isn't an awful lot that could've been done to make a decent solo without turning it into a soulless shredfest like those Metal remixes of TV themes and public domain songs littering Youtube. However, as it stands, the solo sounds like the guitarists started to work on something that could've been cool but opted instead to take an early lunch and wing it when it came to recording the track. Fuck this song, fuck this solo.

5. "Razamanaz" - Nazareth (1:46)

I bloody love this song. It's a wild ride with a footstomping rhythm and a bunch of crazy guitar fills scattered throughout, not to mention some raw Rock vocals and a great chord sequence. Everything about this song is great...except the solo. The solo sucks. It has a good little bridge introduction but once the actual solo starts, it's just fucking sustains. Single sustains until the guitarist realises he can't get away with it and shreds the same string of notes until the end of the bar. Compared to other little shreddy sections throughout, the solo is complete rubbish and drags what could've been a Hard Rock staple down.
As for how it could've been improved...well, how about actual guitar playing? How about something a bit more creative than single notes for half of it? Maybe a mix-up in percussive rhythm just to set it apart from the fills throughout the rest of the track or something a little less choppy than we've heard so far. There are many ways it could've sounded better if you use your imagination just 1% more than Manny Charlton did when he recorded the solo.

6. "Misery Business" - Paramore (2:26)

Opinions on Paramore aside, I quite like this track. It doesn't make me think of teenage drama in the same way as their other material but it does have one major problem in the form of a bland guitar solo. In fact, can you even call it a solo? It's just Josh Farro playing the equivalent of a bassline with no passion or discernible skill. I'm not knocking his ability to play guitar, as the rest of the track has some great riffs, but it's seriously lacking in the solo department. It needed something fast and powerful that dominated the entire fretboard to make this song truly awesome.
How do I define "fast and powerful"? Listen to the solo for "Pull Me Under" - Winger (not Dream Theater) around the two minute mark. It might get a little repetitive but THAT kind of guitar playing would've been fucking great in the Paramore solo. Maybe mix up the rapid arpeggios a bit with some melodic riffs before ending on sweeping scales to end on a bang...or just strum a few notes if you're not talented enough to play a worthy Rock solo, I guess.

7. "Stranglehold" - Ted Nugent (1:56)

You remember that epic eight and a half minute song off Ted Nugent's debut with the boring verses and three minute guitar solo? Yeah, fuck that noise. The problem with guitar solos lasting longer than about a minute is that they start to stray into Blues Rock territory, meaning lots of pauses and jerking off on the guitarist's part. Ted Nugent might be a complete cunt but as a musician, he's top notch. However, his skills are in creating great riffs, not necessarily memorable solos. If you listen to most Ted Nugent songs, you'll remember the riff but find it tricky to remember anything about the solo.
This is one of the few times I'd advocate a shorter edit of the song in order to make the whole track tighter and less dull. There are so many moments where the bass riff is forced to carry the song and even though it's great at first, it gets tiring when you're constantly forced to listen to it whilst asking yourself when Ted will come back from his piss break. Shorter length, tighter guitar sections, some kind of appropriate progression throughout the track and then back to your generic Rock riffs. Ultimately, this song sounds like Ted Nugent going through the motions which no musician should be proud of on their debut solo album.

8. "I Love It Loud" - KISS (2:11)

Love or hate KISS, they knew how to write a good Hard Rock hook. The music in the verse and vocals in the chorus are perfect for Arena Rock, ensuring you'll get all the fans on their feet and belting out the lyrics. It's about as "KISS" as they come but sadly, it also contains a pathetic excuse for a guitar solo, even for KISS. The band have had their troubles with solos (or lack of solos when it comes to "Lick It Up" and "Rock And Roll All Nite") but if you're going to write an Arena Rock anthem, you need to bring the thunder in the solo. This guitar solo consists of a few weak sustains before awkwardly going back to the verse. Piss. Poor.
If it started off with a few sustains, it wouldn't have been so bad. However, it needed to go somewhere and progress into something for budding air guitarists to rock out to. That doesn't necessarily mean shredding or fancy techniques but it has to sound like something that takes time and effort to learn, or at least carry a melody of its own. Compare this solo to the one from "Love Gun" or even "Detroit Rock City"; the former containing some decent triplets and the latter being simplistic but memorable.

9. "Gimme Three Steps" - Lynyrd Skynyrd (2:20)

It's songs like this that make me feel the need to remind you this is a post about "weak" guitar solos, not just "bad" ones. Considering this band gave us "Free Bird", "Simple Man" and "I Ain't The One" on the same album alone, I guess it isn't surprising that there'd be at least one song where they phoned in the solo. However, that doesn't excuse "Gimme Three Steps" for having a boring solo to accompany a pretty boring song by their standards. It's just the same shit over and over again that actually manages to sound less interesting than the rest of the band.
The solo contains descending chords which sound alright at first, as they deviate from the chord pattern in the breaks between verses, but they get dull fairly quickly. The whole song is just a bit bland and I'm not sure a fun solo would make up for that but at the very least, it would give some people a reason to revisit nobody's favourite Lynyrd Skynyrd track.

10. "Seven Nation Army" - The White Stripes (2:02)

There were several songs I could've picked for this last spot (and I may write a sequel to this post in the near future if I find enough to make ten) but in the end, I had to go with the Shite Wipes. It pisses me off when everyone cites this band as the reason Jack White is an amazing guitarist. He can play some decent riffs but aside from that, he showcases next to no talent as a guitarist in this band and the solo for this song is proof of that. It's just the chord sequence but played higher up the fretboard with different tones to make it sound different. There's literally nothing else to it.
I accept that the band aren't really about guitar solos but when you try to play one, you should at least make it good. A proper guitar solo doesn't suit this song so honestly, Jack probably shouldn't have bothered. This is a good example of a song built entirely around a solid riff that falls apart when you realise a song needs more than a catchy tune. Obviously Meg White can't do shit and Jack's vocals/lyrics aren't enough to carry part of the weight held by the riff so you end up with something half-baked. But hey, they've done some other good stuff...sort of...


Did I miss any glaringly obvious weak guitar solos? Chances are I've either mentioned them on this blog before or I felt they'd be better for a follow-up to this post but feel free to tell me via the comment section or Twitter anyway, just in case.
Anyway, here's the Spotify playlist of songs listed above. Listen, don't listen, choice is yours.

Pinewood Smile - The Darkness

The main reason this review has taken so long to write is because I didn't know whether I wanted to dedicate an entire blog post to it or cover it in a Rapid Fire post with a couple of other new albums I've heard over the last couple of weeks. In the end, I went with a review because I'd rather write about this album in length than the new Paramore or Pink ones.

Last time I reviewed an album by The Darkness on this blog, I claimed that Last Of Our Kind was a great album to listen to if you were previously on the fence about the band and wanted to get into them with a blend of awesome Rock music and toned down silliness. Pinewood Smile successfully amplifies both factors, resulting in a collection of great Hard Rock songs that you can't take seriously if you listen to the lyrics. However, worst album cover in the world aside, this could well be my favourite Darkness album to date.
Things are off to a good start with album opener/lead single, "All The Pretty Girls". It's a punchy Rock track with catchy vocal hooks/guitar riffs and a uniquely amusing take on the popularity Rock stars gain as they progress through their career rather than your standard "I wanna bang all the chicks and they wanna bang me back" approach synonymous with most over-the-top artists. From there, the album only gets better with a tightly packed wealth of pure Rock and humorous lines, both equally well crafted and blended together.
Other singles "Solid Gold" and "Southern Trains" bring the thunder with their heavy riffs but also contain lyrics laced with profanity in a charmingly British manner whilst other Hard Rock filler tracks throughout the album such as "Japanese Prisoner Of Love" and "Lay Down With Me, Barbara" are a bit more subtle with their humour, relying more on subverting or parodying Rock tropes in Spinal Tapesque fashion rather than dropping F-bombs like Tenacious D. The album utilises both types of funny songwriting well and thankfully they don't try to awkwardly blend them in single songs.

Despite blending humour and quality Hard Rock better than any previous Darkness album, this is still an issue for those of you (like myself) who will always prefer good music over funny lyrics in your Rock albums. Full disclosure: "English Country Garden" is my all-time favourite song by the band and that track contains comically obscene lyrics, although since they're mostly indistinguishable, the awesome music is at the forefront of my mind when I listen to the song. Compare this to tracks that I mentioned earlier where you can very clearly hear the chorus to "Southern Trains" and you might find yourself removed from the experience of listening to a great song due to the funny lyrics.
My favourite song on the album is "Buccaneers Of Hispaniola", a track that screams epic from its name to its riffs throughout; the kind of song that would sound amazing being played whilst charging into battle. Thankfully, that song is entirely reliant on being a great Rock tune and will probably be the next single if the band choose to release one. Other decent songs on the album like "Stampede Of Love" have some great musical moments but I feel like I can't let myself enjoy it as much because it's clearly meant to be a joke song at the end of the album, hence the pointless "frenzy" during the last 20 seconds.
Aside from subjective criticisms about jokes not landing, there's nothing really wrong with the album in the same way that previous reviews have looked at weak songwriting or Pop tendencies. At this point in the band's career, they're still allowed to churn out albums that work without needing to experiment (that's their NEXT album) and this album is still very much The Darkness at the top of their game. Falsetto vocals are still being used effectively in comparison to Permission To Land and the rest of the band are still kicking ass despite going through more drummers than a runaway car ploughing through a queue outside the carpel tunnel syndrome clinic.

Pinewood Smile might sound a bit sillier than their previous album but I feel like the music is tighter too. If there were more tracks like "Buccaneers Of Hispaniola" that were more about rocking hard and less about mildly tickling your funny bone, I probably would've preferred it more on a personal level. However, as objectively as I can see it, this album's still damn good and deserves an 8/10. I recommend this album to people who like Hard Rock but aren't looking for their new favourite record, as it's the kind of music best enjoyed now and then rather than as one complete package.
It's refreshing to hear a new Rock album by an actual Rock band made with a proper Rock producer after multiple albums by stadium fillers like Foo Fighters and Paramore designed to sound more like Pop. Hopefully there'll be more of these coming out around the time of my next review and less of Villains or Beautiful Trauma...that's the new Pink album with that song that's being played fucking everywhere at the moment.

Guitar Hero Encore: Rocks The 80s

Apologies for missing a blog post last week. I couldn't find motivation to get back into blog post writing and even now, I've picked a Guitar Hero expansion with a relatively small amount of songs to talk about. Then again, listening to and talking about the 83 songs in Rock Band 3 nearly killed me so I don't care, I'm having a shorter setlist this time.
Much like previous posts about these rhythm music game tracklists (see this post for a list of all of them so far), I'll still be going through the entire game's soundtrack whilst discussing whether I believe the song deserved to be in the game based on the quality of the track, how fun it is on guitar and whether it's appropriate for the game in question. At the end, I'll tally up the Thumbs Up and Thumbs Down count for the game to give a final verdict on whether I personally approve of the game's soundtrack. Right, let's revisit the most overlooked Guitar Hero soundtrack!

"18 And Life" - Skid Row
Before I talk too much about the song, one thing that should be mentioned is this is one of two games I've discussed with WaveGroup covers before GH/RB went with 100% master recordings. I'll be judging the sound quality primarily on the covers but the decision to include the song on the originals, if that makes sense. Anyway, this song. It's a great track by Skid Row with a cool riff and a killer solo, perfect for the encore of the first tier in the game's career mode. The cover's pretty decent too, especially the solo. All in all, it's a well known 80s Hair Metal track that isn't too hard but still fun to play. THUMPS UP.

"Ain't Nothin But A Good Time" - Poison
I'm not entirely sure where the "Ain't" came from but as far as song choices go, this one's to be expected. You're obviously going to put Motley Crue or Poison in an 80s Rock based game and since Motley Crue was in GH2, that leaves you with the other guys. As for which Poison song to pick, it couldn't be "Unskinny Bop" as that was released in the 90s so it was either this, "Talk Dirty To Me" or "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Whilst each song would've been fun to play, they thankfully went for the most fun of the three, presumably for the difficulty curve. Even thankfullyer, the cover's great if you don't mind the vocals sounding a bit off. THUMBS UP.

"Ballroom Blitz" - Krokus
This is one of the game's weird cover choices, as I'm sure we're all more familiar with the Sweet original of this track. Someone at Harmonix must've really liked this song and wanted to chart it before the job was handed to Neversoft, as there's not really a good reason for this song's inclusion. It's alright to play but compared to other Hair Metal/Hard Rock tracks by bands that were left out (Europe, Nitro, Autograph, Whitesnake), it's nothing special. THUMBS DOWN.

"Balls To The Wall" - Accept
I've heard a few Accept songs and this is probably the worst of the lot. However, it's also one of their most popular so I understand why it was included. The cover's not great and the chart's a little dull so even though it's part of the career mode's first tier, there's nothing really exciting about playing the song. Whilst I acknowledge Hard Rock in the 80s wasn't as good as 70s Hard Rock, there were still a few great bands. In fact, Stadium Rock bands such as Journey or Styx would've added a bit of extra diversity to a soundtrack based largely around 80s (Hair) Metal, especially since they all have fun guitar songs. THUMBS DOWN.

"(Bang Your Head) Metal Health" - Quiet Riot
A solid opening song, although the cover is questionable. The vocalist sounds like he was told it was a KISS song instead of Quiet Riot and the guitarist must've had an off day, since they completely forgot to play the first guitar solo. You might think they removed the solo in the cover to make it perfect for the first tier in career mode but the outro solo isn't that easy for beginners. They should've kept the whole thing intact but as it stands, it's a boring chart until a decent little solo at the end that will almost certainly screw over unsuspecting players, thereby making the whole simplification of the track pointless. Great choice, poor execution. THUMBS DOWN.

"Bathroom Wall" - Faster Pussycat
I'm familiar with most of the songs in this game but honestly, I still have no idea who this band are or why the song deserves a spot in the game. It's OK for an 80s track based around the Blues Chord progression that isn't by George Thorogood but there's nothing in it that makes me think it belongs in a GH game apart from a solo that'd probably be fun to play if the rest of the song wasn't pretty mediocre. THUMBS DOWN.

"Because, It's Midnite" - Limozeen
God, I'm fucking torn with this one. On the one hand, it's not even from the 80s; it's a modern track by an 80s Hair Metal parody band. Plus, it has an insanely difficult synth solo charted on guitar that has no place in the second tier of career mode. On the other hand, it's fucking awesome. It's a bitchin' song from start to finish AND it's the master recording so there's bonus points for that. Unfortunately, I'm going with my gut and saying that it should've been a bonus track on GH2 and that an actual 80s song should've been on the 80s tribute game. THUMBS DOWN but it's still a great track.

"Caught In A Mosh" - Anthrax
It's a good thing they actually included proper 80s Metal in this game instead of just Hair Metal stuff. Whilst I'm not a huge fan of this song (as mentioned in my RB3 post), I can understand why it was picked and honestly, I don't dislike the cover. It's just a bit of a shitty track to listen to...and play, what with the emphasis on awkward chords/strumming and less on fun HOPO sections (the solo doesn't count as, like most Anthrax guitar solos, it's pissweak). GH2 got "Madhouse" so this track inclusion was the most sensible Anthrax choice to go with; I also admit that my personal taste in the song is resulting in a largely critical write-up, as I'd probably enjoy playing it if I could stand to listen to the tune. THUMBS UP on a technicality, I guess.

"Electric Eye" - Judas Priest
Another master recording AND it's a proper 80s Metal song! Whilst the mix may be a little dodgy to the point that it starts off sounding like a WaveGroup cover, Rob Halford's vocals save the song and the chart is great if you like a challenge. I'm struggling to think of a Judas Priest song that would've been better for this game as it's fun, popular and appropriate. THUMBS UP.

"Heat Of The Moment" - Asia
Fun fact! This is one of only two songs I ever FC'd on Expert in this game! It's also a great tune to listen to, although not the best to play. It has its moments but there's nothing spectacular about the chart. It's also a weak cover so whilst the inclusion makes sense, it's a shame the execution was once again a bit lacklustre. However, do I think it belongs in this game? Of course! It's a classic 80s Rock song and probably would've been better in the first tier of career mode but still helps ease players into the game. THUMBS UP.

"Hold On Loosely" - .38 Special
OK, some Southern Rock, I guess. I would've gone with something by ZZ Top instead of .38 Special but a good song is a good song and this song is...it's alright, just a bit basic. The chart's mostly strumming until the outro solo and I suppose this song's inclusion makes sense if you think of it as a track you'd hear for the first time on GH rather than a classic you actively hope is in the game. Ah, why not? THUMBS UP.

"Holy Diver" - Dio
More 80s Metal! I'm glad they chose this over other tracks off the debut with clusterfuck solos but damn, it's a shame they couldn't get the master for this; I mean, that vocalist gives it everything he's got but he's no RJD. On the plus side, the chart's alright. Some basic chord strumming and a decent solo but ultimately, the Thumbs Up/Down is based on whether I think they should've picked this song or a track by Ozzy Osbourne. Since GH1 got "Bark At The Moon" and there's no way in hell a Randy Rhoads guitar chart should've been on HMX-era GH games, it's a resounding THUMBS UP.

"I Ran (So Far Away)" - A Flock Of Seagulls
Now for a genre that was surprisingly underrepresented in this game; New Wave. On the plus side, they did manage to get the master recording for this classic track so it definitely has some positive reasons for being in the game. The chart's alright but it is meant to be an easy track so it can't really be faulted there. In fact, HMX tried to make it more fun by removing the intro and overcharting echo effects. THUMBS UP for not really doing anything wrong and for being a fine New Wave choice.

"I Wanna Rock" - Twisted Sister
Another master recording BUT I believe this is a rerecording from the 00s so it still sounds like a shitty cover version. I can't fault the choice in song though, as it's fucking awesome and contains decent riffs/solos that would trounce "We're Not Gonna Take It" any day. The chart's got a variety of challenging areas from sweeping HOPOs to rapid strumming and, as an interesting side note, fades out for some reason. Usually master recordings have some kind of ending but this one...doesn't? Oh well, it's still a good song choice that introduced me to a tune I'd only ever heard as "Goofy Goober Rock" from The Spongebob Squarepants Movie until this game. THUMBS UP.

"Lonely Is The Night" - Billy Squier
Yep, another decent choice. It's a fairly popular Rock song (although arguably "The Stroke" is better known) with solid guitar throughout. The cover's not bad either, as the guitar still sounds cool despite using what sounds like a different tone, and most important of all they didn't fuck up the double time outro. I don't think I would've replaced this song with a generic 80s Rock track by someone like Loverboy or Aerosmith either so all in all, it earns a place on the setlist. THUMBS UP.

"Los Angeles" - X
Nope, never heard of this band or song outside of GH/RB. I also feel like there are better examples of 80s Punk they could've gone with (Ramones and The Clash are two examples). However, as far as the song goes, it's not bad. It's mostly chords and strumming but with a more fun rhythm behind it all. However, I can't say I'd feel bad knowing this song could've made it into the game and was ultimately rejected in favour of any other 80s track like "I Want Candy", a song originally teased to be in the game but dropped for unknown reasons. THUMBS DOWN.

"No One Like You" - Scorpions
Thank God they got a Scorpions song in the game! Whilst I'm not overly fond of the song, it's proper 80s Metal at its finest (second only to Riot and even then, it has to be the strongest Riot track against the weakest Scorpions) so I can't argue with its inclusion there. I'd also argue that it's one of the strongest Scorpions tracks they could've picked, as "Rock You Like A Hurricane" is too awesome for an expansion pack. As far as the chart goes, it's as solid as the song could provide. The solos aren't insanely challenging, making it great to rock out to fairly early on in the game's career mode, and even if Scorpions purists don't like the vocalist's attempts at singing, it's still getting a THUMBS UP from me...the song, not the vocals.

"Only A Lad" - Oingo Boingo
There's an air of Loverboy about this track but after revisiting it, I like it quite a bit! It's not exactly complex on guitar but it has a great rhythm and chorus, not to mention a fun little HOPO section towards the end. Another track I'm happy to be introduced to as a result of this game and even if it isn't as iconic as some 80s songs, it definitely sounds like a quintessential 80s tune so I haven't got a problem with it being in the game. THUMBS UP.

"Play With Me" - Extreme
The final boss of the game. It looks relatively tame compared to the GH: Smash Hits version but hey, this shit used to be insane. It still is, to an extent, as the sweeping solos at the end will test even the most seasoned expert if they're not quick on their fingers. The song itself is a great little slice of wacky 80s Hair Metal and the cover does a decent job of recreating that to the best of WaveGroup's abilities. The only other song I can think of for a suitably fun final boss of the game is possibly "Freight Train" - Nitro but I feel like they'd probably have to underchart it in order to make it playable on the HMX engine. Still, I agree with this song's inclusion. THUMBS UP.

"Police Truck" - Dead Kennedys
More 80s Punk although this definitely puts other Punk bands to shame, despite borrowing the Batman theme. There's actually something going on on guitar and even though the outro strumming section can fuck right off, the rest of the song is enjoyable for a Punk chart. It's a fair inclusion for the genre and I can't think of an 80s Punk song that would've been better off instead of this track so THUMBS UP. Jesus, I'm being generous here, aren't I?

"Radar Love" - White Lion
Another weird cover for this 80s game, when you consider the original "Radar Love" by Golden Earring came out in the 70s. This may have been a big hit for the band but as I said earlier, there are a bunch of great 80s Hair Metal tunes that could've worked in this game instead of the uninspired choices we got. Not just that but the cover of the cover kinda sucks in the chorus; the original's a lot better but I still wouldn't have considered it for the game. THUMBS DOWN.

"Round And Round" - Ratt
OK, THIS is an iconic Hair Metal track. Great riff, sweet solos, catchy chorus and a solid rhythm throughout. As far as the cover goes, it's pretty decent too right up until the last solo where it almost goes off on its own tangent before bringing it back around...then going off on its own tangent in the form of a blistering outro solo. Still, it hits all the right notes until then so it gets a THUMBS UP.

"Seventeen" - Winger
Goddamn, this song's fun to play. Excellent HOPO riffs throughout before several insane solos, great cover (possibly the best in the game?) and a fairly well known Hair Metal/Hard Rock hit in the community, although this comes near the end of the game AFTER all the iconic 80s tunes so it can be forgiven for not being Bon Jovi. It's definitely the best Winger song for any music rhythm game so THUMBS UP on all counts!

"Shakin'" - Eddie Money
I'm not hugely familiar with Eddie Money songs but the ones I know are way better than this. It's pretty generic without much to shout about on guitar, basically the equivalent of "Jessie's Girl" - Rick Springfield, a song that thankfully we never got on this game. To be honest, most Rock songs by solo artists would've been better than this. "Run To You" - Bryan Adams immediately leaps to mind but I'd take just about any 80s Rock in a Billy Squier vein at this point, hence THUMBS DOWN.

"Synchronicity II" - The Police
Damn, this is a fine cover. It's also one of the best songs by The Police for GH/RB games, as the guitar chart is fun throughout, even if it does have a shit sustain-heavy section in the middle. However, be warned that it does contain a challenging solo right at the end which might trip you up. Fortunately, if you know it's coming, you can plan for it and have fun with it. I definitely rate this song over some of the more well known and painfully dull tracks The Police have released. THUMBS UP.

"Turning Japanese" - The Vapors
I knew this song WAY before the game came out but I never thought it'd be this fun to play. Lots of rapid triplets and great chord sequences to a fun song to listen to although the cover's a bit off. I mentioned earlier that there's not a huge amount of New Wave in this game but the few songs that have been picked are decent. Even though the game could've had some B-52s and Blondie, I'm glad this made the final setlist and gave me another reason to love the song. THUMBS UP.

"The Warrior" - Scandal
The final master recording on the list and...yeah, it's still impressive but it's not the best song to listen to outside of the chorus. It's a little dull to play and easily forgettable so I'm not sure it's a great choice. Maybe some Pop Rock like "Go For Soda" - Kim Mitchell with great guitar throughout would've been a better choice, especially since it would still fit in the difficulty curve if you put the Oingo Boingo track in tier 3 and the new one in tier 4. But back to what's important; why doesn't this song have an ending either? Another master recording fade out. Weird. THUMBS DOWN.

"We Got The Beat" - The Go-Go's
I can't remember if it was this or "She Sells Sanctuary" - The Cult in GH:A that was my first ever FC on Expert but I do remember being able to FC this song without even looking at the screen; that's how easy it is. Easy songs aren't a problem if they're early on in the tier but considering there's a massive gap in the song where there's no guitar or bass, I'm inclined to say that a better Pop Rock tune could've been picked, despite this being semi-popular. THUMBS DOWN.

"What I Like About You" - The Romantics
There's a bit of a backstory behind this track. After the game's release, The Romantics tried to sue Activision because they were unhappy with the cover, claiming it didn't sound enough like their song. This is presumably due to the beefed up solo which makes the song WAY more fun to play but in the end, ATVI won the case. As for the song itself, it's pretty chord heavy but if you like the track, it's tolerable. I also wouldn't recommend swapping it for another 80s Rock song although maybe one with a solo that they didn't have to artificially add in could've worked. THUMBS UP.

"Wrathchild" - Iron Maiden
The last song in the game and it's fucking awesome. Excellent HOPO riffs and a great guitar tone for a cover version make this a game highlight and thankfully the vocalist didn't have to ruin Bruce Dickinson's vocals; only Paul Di'Anno's. It's a pretty short track compared to other Iron Maiden hits but it's also a fan favourite and perfect for a representative of 80s Metal. Hopefully one day, we'll get this song as a master recording for Rock Band but until then, it's a damn fine track in GH. THUMBS UP.


Unsurprisingly, this soundtrack takes a landslide victory with 20 Thumbs Up against 10 Thumbs Down. If you own a PS2 and never bought this game, you could probably find it relatively cheap online now...either that or it'll cost a shitload but if you can find it cheap, I recommend it.