Boneshaker - Airbourne

Looks like it's time for another album review! Continuing with the Hard Rock genre, we have the next album from Australian riff-recyclers, Airbourne!

Before I start this review, I should begin by explaining my main problem with their last album (Breakin' Outta Hell). It was an OK Hard Rock album but only if you listened to random tracks now and then as opposed to the whole collection as an album. I liked some of the songs off it but would only recommend buying those tracks instead of the album. Fortunately, it's a much better situation with Boneshaker. It's a collection of great songs that function as individual tracks or a complete album. Sadly one of the worst tracks is the album opener, title track and lead single, "Boneshaker".
It has a dull riff, a plodding rhythm and whilst there are some solid vocal sections to get the crowds pumped up at gigs, it all feels a bit stale. Luckily, with the bar set so low on the first track, the rest of the album successfully delivers a healthy amount of musical aggression and energy instead of slumping back into the safe foot-tapping Hard Rock that usually plagues Airbourne albums. Granted there are a few songs that slow things down or seek comfort in the familiar, such as tongue-in-cheek rocker "Backseat Boogie" and bog-standard filler track "She Gives Me Hell" (the latter seemingly inspired by the band's earlier material, which is always welcome in Rock if done right), but they're few and far between.
The other album letdown is the album closer, "Rock 'N' Roll For Life". It's a fast, frenzied love letter to Rock music although even that drops the ball by containing a weak mix and coming after a much better song to end the album. However, it's still as memorable than any of the bland, basic 4/4 120-130 BPM songs that the band used to love to write. The faster, more energetic songs on the album make decent background music if you're driving or doing housework but since the band have already given us four albums of plodding riffs and rhythms, it's good to finally get one that stands out. The album cover, name and title track all suggested they were ready to do exactly the same thing again and release yet another dull album with a few exciting tracks, especially since frontman Joel O'Keeffe has acknowledged that this album didn't take as long to write as previous ones. Thankfully, it's not just Airbourne being Airbourne.

If I had to single out the biggest change, it wouldn't be the increase in faster tracks; it'd be the decision to try something new. Airbourne have never really taken themselves seriously with their music but there's something about some of these songs that just seem a bit more thought out than others. When I first read the tracklist, I thought it read less like a Spinal Tap record despite some exceptions ("Sex To Go"). I'm not saying the band have to abandon their sillier side to be more respectable but when you're listening to a song with multiple musical sections and lyrics such as "One nation under a nuclear sun now lays rotting above caves of steel, rivers of fire, we await the creatures who walk beneath us", it proves the band still have some desire to try new things. I would expect that kind of willingness to adapt whilst still retaining what makes you great from The Darkness, not Airbourne.
Thankfully, it's not the only highlight. The band have been influenced by the right sources, as some of the many belters have echoes of Heavy Metal bands such as Megadeth and classics such as AC/DC about them ("This Is Our City" and "Blood In The Water", respectively). I'll admit that AC/DC is an easy comparison to make but in the same way Rush and Triumph are often compared for being Hard/Prog Rock power trios from Canada, you won't find a better band to compare AC/DC to than an Australian Hard Rock group who are making a career out of releasing similar albums over and over again.
However, the main difference between AC/DC and Airbourne is that AC/DC usually screwed up when trying to play something that wasn't in their stronger skillset, meaning they'd often revert back to what they could do properly. Airbourne sound like they're ready to take things further one step at a time, which is just as well as their first album came out 12 years ago. This album has plenty of fun songs like "Switchblade Angel", a track with a unique solo (compared to other Airbourne songs) and a short length so as not to outstay its welcome. It's still Airbourne but it's not a carbon copy of 60% of their previous material. It's not as anthemic as the title track but it doesn't have to be; it's a great song and it sounds like it belongs on this album, if only to give listeners something short and sweet to enjoy before the meatier tracks.

Overall, Boneshaker will probably please fans of Hard Rock who want to stick this album on whilst occupying themselves with odd jobs around the house. They toned down the songs about sex and amplified ones inspired by aggression or power like literally everything about the album suggested before you listened to it. If it was advertised as a vastly different Airbourne album, I would've been a bit more sceptical and probably criticised it for not delivering on something the band are only starting to get better at.
Instead, it feels like they (or the record label/producer, probably) wanted to make people think it was something the band have already given us so the changes come as a pleasant surprise, so I give it a 7/10. It's pretty good, I didn't strongly love any of the songs but I liked listening to quite a few of them. Buy this album if you haven't listened to any of Airbourne's previous albums and just want more great Rock. Listen to the album if you like the band/genre and purchase the songs you really like individually. I imagine a tour promoting this album would be worth getting tickets for, as Airbourne strike me as a band who really bring the thunder live and have only just forged a bottle capable of holding it in the studio.
Maybe album number six will be the one where they take a more confident step forward with the asskicking...but I'll probably be fine if it's the same as this one.

The Cult - A Sonic Temple Tour

That's right, another blog post so soon after the last one!
This time, a short write-up of my experience seeing The Cult live at the O2 Arena in Leeds on Sunday 20th October. The last time I saw a gig was Blue Oyster Cult in February which, despite high hopes, was kind of a letdown. Fortunately, The Cult put on a fantastic show which might be great from a viewing perspective but kind of screws me from a "making a joke about bad live experiences based around the word 'Cult'" one.

The warm-up act for the evening were a small band called Piston. They put on an entertaining show full of riff-based-rockers that may or may not have been subconsciously lifted from deep cuts from bigger Rock bands (I swear their song "Rainmaker" uses the exact same riff as "Nervous Shakedown" - AC/DC). Despite boasting a healthy collection of their own fast paced Rock songs and an engaging stage presence to match their energetic music, one of the highlights of their performance was probably their Rock cover of "Proud Mary", sounding like a heavier rendition of the Ike And Tina version.
Based on the glimpse into the band I got during their time warming up for The Cult, I'd recommend Piston to those who aren't aware of them and to those who are, I'd like to offer my congratulations on knowing these guys before me. Check them out, they have a self-titled album out and if you like bands/artists such as The Answer, Slash and (obviously) The Cult, you'll probably get some pleasure out of a bunch of their material. It's not incredible but for a debut album, it does a good job of introducing their abilities and giving you something to listen to on long drives.

Now, onto the main event, The Cult! As the name of the tour suggests, the majority of songs were from their 1989 album Sonic Temple. I missed my chance to see them play Electric in its entirety so I knew I had to see this tour, at least until 2027 when they do Electric again. The band kicked the evening off with a great performance of "Sun King" followed by a mix of Sonic Temple deep cuts and singles from different albums. It made sense for the band to shuffle the order of songs, otherwise they'd be playing the album's two biggest songs within the first half hour. Whilst the album order would've worked too, I'm glad they saved "Fire Woman" until later on, as that's an absolute killer of a track (especially when played live).
As for band performances, I'm thrilled to inform you that guitarist Billy Duffy and vocalist Ian Astbury still have it. Whilst Ian can't belt out lines with the same silver lined pipes he had during the recording sessions, he's still capable of performing new and old Cult tracks with gusto and his banter with the audience was entertaining without being preachy (at one point, there may have been a technical issue but Astbury responded with "Fuck it, you guys don't care, right?" causing a cheer to erupt from the audience before the band played the rest of the set flawlessly). He also seemed genuinely happy to be performing, dancing around on stage and kicking the shit out of his tambourine as opposed to remaining rooted to the spot and hurrying the rest of the band through the set like he had a train to catch.
New band members can play with the big boys too, as bassist Grant Fitzpatrick did an amazing job playing the heavy basslines and maintaining the song's melody during Duffy's solos. Aside from that, everything I thought would be awesome was indeed awesome and everything I thought would be kinda bland was actually pretty good. Favourite underrated gems from Sonic Temple ("New York City", "Sun King") were incredible live and even tracks I wasn't a fan of when I first heard them ("American Horse", "Automatic Blues") sounded fantastic live. The only things missing were a few extra songs off different releases of the album ("Soldier Blue", "Wake Up Time For Freedom", "Medicine Train") but I'm glad we got better songs off lesser known albums instead ("Spiritwalker", "Rise").

The band also made the right choice in choosing the final songs for the evening with "Love Removal Machine" rounding off the main concert and the extended version of "She Sells Sanctuary" closing the two-song encore. Most of the hits were played except for "Lil' Devil" and "Wild Hearted Son" but I'm satisfied with the songs I heard; there wasn't a performance where I felt the band weren't giving it their all and even though I'm sure these guys would've sounded better with slightly less mileage, they definitely didn't sound rusty or fit for the retirement home. Hell, if they keep practising and not releasing albums like Hidden City, they may still be going this time next year.
With that in mind, I definitely recommend seeing The Cult live. I wouldn't call it an incredible show that tops my Top 5 list of all gigs but if I had to place this somewhere on a spectrum of previous live shows (Iron Maiden and Tenacious D in Brighton towards the left on the better side, Judas Priest and Tenacious D in Leeds towards the right), I'd say it's somewhere between the first third and midway point of the line; a solid Great which accurately represents the quality of music The Cult put out during their golden years. That may change over time but I'm glad that the band appear to be enjoying their work as opposed to some musicians with "Cult" in their band name.
The next concert I'm seeing will be Ghost in November at the First Direct Arena, also in Leeds. I have astronomically high expectations for this, not just because their last album Prequelle was my favourite album of 2018. To find out my favourite album of 2019, keep an eye on this blog over the next couple of months! That's right guys, I'm sort of back for a bit!

Easter Is Cancelled - The Darkness

Taking a break from charting Clone Hero customs to review my second favourite album of 2019 so far!
Oh shit, sorry. Spoilers.

A song about calling for the execution of a musical genre.
A song about falling in love with a girl who's hardcore into Death Metal.
A song about the state of the planet and mankind sung from the perspective of Jesus.
A song about the tragic loss of one's deck chair on a particularly windy day.
These and many more can be found on Easter Is Cancelled, the latest album by UK based semi-Comedy Rock band, The Darkness. As you can tell by the artwork above (a huge improvement on the horrible cover from Pinewood Smile), this is an album by a band that aren't ready to take themselves or the musical genre they're so adept at producing seriously any time soon. Much like their last two albums, there's a healthy blend of songs with silly lyrics about mundane British life and absolute bangers with heavy riffs and furious solos.
Album opener and lead single "Rock And Roll Deserves To Die" is definitely the latter, as the song's built around multiple acoustic guitar melodies before charging into a thundering post-chorus riff paired with Justin Hawkins' trademark screeching falsetto. Lyrically, it's grandiose and the subject matter of the song is hardly one to treat with sincerity (especially since the band full-on backpedal on their decree by the album's final track, "We Are The Guitar Men") but it's not designed to have you tittering to yourself like a fool. Hell, nothing on this album is, really.

Compared to the last album that had songs about the terrible UK train service and wanting to have sex with the mums of the younger fans, the humour on this album is a little more subtle. Sure, there are straight up hilarious lines such as "None more Metal, elegance and grace, we make sweet love to Hammer Smashed Face" ("Heavy Metal Lover") but the majority of the humour comes from lines like "You've bitten off more than you can chew, I hope my heart was a tasty hors d'oeuvre, You don't wanna hug, You need the Heimlich manoeuvre" ("Choke On It"); a bizarre but perfect blend of clever rhyming and lyrical structure to make an absolutely ridiculous point.
Ordinarily, I'd compare Rock music with a comical tone to the bigger bands that have dominated the Comedy Rock scene such as Spinal Tap and Tenacious D but I honestly feel like a far more fitting comparison for this album would be mid 70s Queen. No, the vocals aren't as strong as Freddie's and the guitar riffs aren't as classic as Brian May's but the tone of the album feels almost exactly on par with records such as A Night At The Opera. Songs with great melodies and poetic lyrics sandwiched between Arena Rock anthems designed to make the crowds go fucking crazy.
The riff-based piledrivers such as title track "Easter Is Cancelled" leave a great lasting impression and the melodic rockers such as "We Are The Guitar Men" have great repeat value. The sillier songs such as "Deck Chair" are probably the weaker entries due to being focused primarily on the humorous lyrics over the music but at least they make for a great listen once or twice before the joke wears thin. However, the biggest flaw of the album is that they saved some of the best songs for the Deluxe Edition such as Folk number "Sutton Hoo", a punchy little number telling a story about aliens visiting an Anglo-Saxon ship in the past (totally something Brian May could've written).

Easter Is Cancelled is an absolute joy to listen to. Hard Rock belters full of explosive action, catchy acoustic melodies for the music enthusiast in you to enjoy and plenty of mild chuckles along the way; it's basically the musical equivalent to a well-made superhero film. There are a couple of mediocre Rock numbers that are easily forgettable ("Heart Explodes", "In Another Life") but nothing that's bad or poorly made. However, these songs could've and should've been replaced by at least one song that was a bit meatier; maybe a Hard Rock chugger about vampires of Rock or something.
Whilst it doesn't exactly push any boundaries or showcase the band's willingness to experiment like I expected them to, any band that can write and produce a Queen album deserves credit. I rate the album 8/10 (same as Pinewood Smile) and would've given it a 9 if the band decided to include all 14 songs on one album instead of trying to milk fans for more cash. Yes, I still think criticising bands and penalising albums for releasing Deluxe Editions with new music is justifiable, deal with it.

Fear Inoculum - Tool

The day has arrived. Fans have been waiting what feels like an eternity for new material and it's finally here! That's right, it's a brand new blog post from me!

Before Tool decided to pull their heads out of their arses and bring their music to iTunes/Spotify, I didn't really have a strong opinion of them. I knew three of their songs through Guitar Hero and thought they all sounded kinda repetitive, like each song had a great riff but the band didn't know what to do with it other than milk it until the raw teet was producing nothing but dust. It was only after listening to their back catalogue earlier this month that I realised that's the majority of Tool songs; a great 5-6 minute song with five minutes of unnecessary droning around it.
Fans of Tool will be delighted to know that Fear Inoculum, their first album in 13 years, continues the trend of songs going on far too long to the point that the band reach Josh Homme levels of pretentiousness without showing the necessary technical proficiency to justify 15 minute Prog Metal odysseys about the number seven ("7empest"). But let's look at the positives first, shall we? For kick off, album opener, lead single and title track "Fear Inoculum" is easily the best song on the record.
It may be 10 minutes long and only six of those are worth listening to but the eerie delayed riff, build up of each instrument and fantastic bass (a staple of the best Tool songs thanks to Justin Chancellor/Paul D'Amour) are perfect for fans of their previous albums and newcomers introduced to the band due to their sudden willingness to be heard by actual people alike. It should also be noted that regardless of musical taste, this album is clearly the band's artistic vision; flawed and uncompromising like all great works of art should be, even though I'm sure many diehards were already hitting the message boards with rants about Maynard Keenan selling out after they posted their music online.

However, even the most incandescent, red-faced fan pounding their keys in rage over the disappointment of this album would have the makings of a solid argument if they used the words "tedious", "pompous" or "dull" in the midst of their frothing tirade. It doesn't matter if you love Prog Metal or not, this album is hard work to listen to. To actually sit through all 90 minutes actively listening to a band musically masturbating with the same drawn-out, simplistic melodies recycled and reworked you've heard by the fourth track requires the kind of discipline most monks who vow to spend their lives in celibate silence strive to achieve.
One sign of the band's obvious self-importance comes in the form of multiple soundscapes acting as interludes between the longer, Proggier tunes ("Litanie contre la Peur", "Legion Inoculant", "Chocolate Chip Trip", "Mockingbeat"). It's bad enough when bands flood albums with pointless 40 second tuneless wankfests - looking at you, Slipknot - but these tracks range from two to almost five minutes in length. They could've written actual songs that last that long but instead put their creative and musical talents into minimalist nonsense.
A great example of an album utilising short interludes to act as bridges between tracks is "FX" from Vol. 4 - Black Sabbath. After "Changes", a piano ballad about dealing with a break-up, you need a short breather before returning to roaring Heavy Metal in the form of "Supernaut". However, not only is "FX" less than two minutes long but it's also placed between two tracks that are worlds apart from each other in tone and sound. To the casual listener, every song on the Tool album sounds similar enough to not warrant the pointless procedurally generated audio files that take up 14% of the album.

The remaining 86% consists of tracks containing interchangeable strum patterns to atypical time signatures ("Descending"), multiple endings to extend an already padded song length ("Invincible") and the occasional great riffs that trick you into thinking a song is good because the band were clever enough to use them at the start and end ("Pneuma"). It's commendable that the band refused to bow to the temptations of a commercial sounding record in a time where once respectable Rock bands have decided to pair themselves with Pop producers but ultimately, it's a tough album to get into and definitely not one I'd lose sleep over if I never heard again.
For people who enjoy listening to albums as an immersive experience where they shut the curtains and seal themselves off from the rest of the world to take in the majesty of the music, this album might be pretty good. To everyone else, nothing on the album stands out as exceptional. Title track aside, the music is forgettable and nothing you haven't already heard from Tool already. I rate the album 3/10 largely for the ambition and effort. Sure, there are some musical highlights like the four-minute guitar solo that's intricately composed and not horrible to listen to but when it's encased in a 15 minute track, you're unlikely to want to listen to it again.
Much like anal sex, I recommend listening to Fear Inoculum at least once as an experience. You may find that you're more into it than you previously assumed but it's more likely that you'll not get anything out of it that you couldn't get from other places. Be warned though, you should only give it a go if you're in the right mood and can stomach pure shit.

Blue Oyster Cult - 2019 Tour

I bought tickets to see Blue Oyster Cult sometime last year and have spent the last couple of months looking forward to seeing not only a cracking Classic/Hard Rock band playing iconic tunes but also my favourite guitarist absolutely killing it on guitar.
Man, was I disappointed.

I saw Blue Oyster Cult a couple of days ago at the O2 Academy in Leeds and whilst I didn't hate the evening's performance, I certainly expected better from these guys. However, the show didn't start with BOC; instead, we were treated to a short set by The Temperance Movement, a band I've discussed a few times on this blog and generally like. Despite a few odd choices in their set, they did a damn fine job of warming up the mostly elderly crowd with their loud Blues Rock and stage presence.
Phil Campbell belted out his raw vocals with album-quality precision whilst dancing around the stage like Thom Yorke and the majority of songs picked were bangers ("Take Me Back", "Caught In The Middle", "Midnight Black") although there were some issues. For starters, even though Phil was maintaining a high level of energy throughout the entire gig, the rest of the band were pretty static. They didn't have to prance about the stage like Mick Jagger but it would've been good to see some enthusiasm from the guitarists.
Then there was their choice of opening song, "Only Friend". It's a good footstomper but a terrible opening song choice; they would've been better off with a slightly faster, more energetic song like "Built-In Forgetter" or "Oh, Lorraine", something that isn't too powerful but enough to set the tone for their portion of the concert. There was also a portion towards the end where they played two slower songs that successfully brought the energy attained throughout the show down to levels where most of the audience felt comfortable chatting over the top of the music.

Despite these critiques, I would recommend seeing The Temperance Movement if you like their material although if you asked me the same thing about Blue Oyster Cult, I'd genuinely need to think about it for a while. It's not a good sign when the band come on stage and two songs into the main set, you find yourself asking "...wait, are these guys Blue Oyster Cult?" They kicked things off with an unintentionally hilarious rendition of "Dr Music" with Buck Dharma performing the high pitched chorus vocals traditionally done by female backing singers followed by a forgettable stab at "Before The Kiss, A Redcap".
From there, the show had ups and downs but there were a couple of things that could be argued either way. Firstly, there was the bizarre choice of deep cuts that seemed to make up the majority of the setlist. I was surprised that Blue Oyster Cult played "Golden Age Of Leather", "E.T.I. (Extra Terrestrial Intelligence)" and "Hot Rails To Hell" live but never in a million years would've guessed they'd pick those over classics like "Cities On Flame With Rock And Roll", "Joan Crawford" or "Astronomy", none of which were played.
Whilst I can understand the desire felt by older bands to mix setlists up so they're not just playing the same hits over and over again, I doubt they've played many UK shows recently so omitting certain fan favourites in place of songs like "She's As Beautiful As A Foot" so they could have a Proggy jam felt questionable, which brings me onto the next point; the jamming. Blue Oyster Cult must've gone off on random, instrumental jams on at least every other song they played. Long, tedious jams that genuinely nearly sent me to sleep.

In my opinion, a band has a free pass for one live jam session, two tops if one of them is the final song of the night (ignoring the encore). Some bands are known for excessive jamming on stage and maybe Blue Oyster Cult are one of those, since they definitely have some heavily kooky/psychedelic songs in their arsenal of Classic Rock. As someone who likes an even mix of their early heavy, Riff-Based-Rock and their mystical, synthy Arena Rock, I would've preferred one extra song instead of all the constant jamming.
Now, let's move onto some of the undeniably negative aspects: the band were not on top form. I don't know if it was a dud night for them or if they just couldn't give a shit about a night at a venue they'll almost certainly never play again but the overall vibe they were giving was one of not being prepared. Instead of bantering with the audience in between songs or telling anecdotes about the myriad of deep cuts they were playing, there were multiple moments of awkward silence as the band chatted with each other.
Band members also showed little enthusiasm for the gig with Buck Dharma playing as stiff as a mannequin and drummer Jules Radino changing tempo an embarrassing number of times with his double bass WAY too loud in the mix. However, at least some band members conveyed a little personality; Danny Miranda had some fun on stage in between laying down bass licks and Richie Castellano wasn't afraid to go full-Slash during some of the guitar solos. Eric Bloom was a pretty bland frontman but at least he engaged with the crowd now and then, mostly during the encore.

In fact, that was when the band was the most animated; during the two songs they played after buggering off stage for a few minutes. If they had that level of energy throughout the entire gig, I probably wouldn't have been so let down. Unfortunately, despite having some solid moments (excellent performance of "Godzilla", awesome additional solo in the "(Don't Fear) The Reaper" outro that sounded better than the first, great riffing and pitch-perfect lead vocals from Buck Dharma), there were too many flaws for this to reach one of my favourite gigs. This is somewhere in the middle; below Saxon, Bad Company and The Darkness but above Deep Purple, Judas Priest and Muse.
If you just want to hear a band you like play songs you may or may not enjoy without getting cute with the arrangement, a Blue Oyster Cult show probably isn't the gig for you. If you like bands winging it and maybe creating one memorable section over the course of two hours, tickets are almost certainly still on sale. I'm glad I got a chance to see Blue Oyster Cult before they threw in the towel with the rest of the 70s Rock bands currently bowing out gracefully though. Hopefully next time I see middle-aged rockers belting out classics, it'll be a better experience!

Band Hero

What's this? Another blog post and one that breaks the GH - RB - GH - RB pattern of rhythm music game setlist discussions? Yep, I'm looking at the teen friendly Band Hero instead of a Rock Band expansion pack this time, mostly because I plan on going for the Band Hero FGFC on Clone Hero which means revisiting all of the songs/charts in the game. Since I have to listen to all the songs anyway, I figured I might as well write my verdicts here so I don't have to listen to all the mindless, generic Pop this game had to offer for a second time down the line.
If you want to read about Rock music, feel free to catch up on previous Guitar Hero and Rock Band related blog posts!

"A Million Ways" - OK Go
Of all the OK Go songs to pick for the game, I'm not entirely sure why they went with this one. It probably had something to do with releasing their more popular songs like "Here It Goes Again" and "Do What You Want" as Guitar Hero DLC but either way, this is a relatively forgettable song. It's not the worst Pop Rock song to listen to but they probably would've been better off picking one of the aforementioned OK Go songs with the fun charts and recognisable melodies. THUMBS DOWN.

"ABC" - The Jackson 5
Pretty sure I've talked about this song before but basically, I hate it. I hate the idiotic lyrics, the simplistic music and the fact that everyone else seems to fucking love it. The only decent thing about this song is the drum solo but even that's ruined by the toddler screaming "NO! GEDDUP GURL!" so it's another THUMBS DOWN.

"American Pie" - Don McLean
As far as credits songs go, this is a pretty great choice. Fun chart (even if it does have a lot of piano charted to guitar) and totally appropriate for the game, as the inclusion of a handful of radio friendly Rock songs is the only thing that made this game tolerable. I'm glad they included this song in Band Hero rather than an on-disc GH game so it's getting a THUMBS UP although points should be deducted for the embarrassing censorship of "whiskey" in the chorus...you know, if points were a thing in these posts.

"Angels Of The Silences" - Counting Crows
It's not "Accidentally In Love" so it's not immediately getting a Thumbs Up. That being said, it is a decent tune and the guitar chart's not bad. There are a lot of basic guitar charts in this game and I'm not expecting to be wowed, bumping up the average for what I consider a fun chart. I don't know enough about this band to choose a different/better song so I guess I have no choice but to give it a THUMBS UP.

"Back Again" - Parachute
Not gonna lie, I actually kinda like this song. Guitar chart's pretty fun and the melody is enjoyable. I don't like it enough to listen to the song outside of GH but for the purposes of playing it in a rhythm music game, it gets a THUMBS UP.

"Bad Reputation" - Joan Jett
Mostly just chords and strumming but hey, it's not a bad song...at least not until the key change, THEN it's a bad song. It's also not a bad chart...until the key change, then it's a boring chart. Still, you can thank Shrek for making this song popular enough to include on Band Hero and whilst it's not one I play that often, it's not a song I despise listening to or playing so I'm giving it a THUMBS UP. Plus, I can't think of any other Joan Jett songs that'd be better in this game.

"Beautiful Soul" - Jesse McCartney
Ugh, this song is lame. Bland modern Pop for teenage girls, one step above Jonas Brothers and shit like that. However, the chart isn't awful. It's not great either, as many of the acoustic guitar riffs would've been so much better if they had HOPOs instead of strums, but it's not just a series of chords and strumming. Some thought was put into this song choice but that doesn't stop it from getting a THUMBS DOWN.

"Believe" - The Bravery
I like this song quite a bit. Great bass, decent vocal melodies, catchy chorus and some fun guitar too! This is the kind of song I wish there were more of in Band Hero; modern Pop Rock/Alternative that's got some decent guitar. I understand why the setlist was what it was but it's a shame we didn't get more surprisingly awesome tunes like this one. THUMBS UP.

"Black Cat" - Janet Jackson
First off, this song has a bitchin' guitar riff. It's not the most fun to play but damn, it is great to listen to. After that, the chart's pretty basic...until the guitar solo. This song's guitar solo is surprisingly challenging if you're not expecting it, making it another surprisingly fun tune to play! It's also a great choice from the 80s, as it's not quite cheesy enough to make you grow tired of playing it (see "YMCA") but it's not heavy enough to put off this game's target audience. THUMBS UP.

"Black Horse And The Cherry Tree" - KT Tunstall
Before this game, I knew exactly two KT Tunstall songs: this one and "Suddenly I See". I'm glad Band Hero got this song, as it's my personal favourite. Fun guitar and a great lively rhythm. It's definitely a song for vocalists but it helps that there's some solid guitar throughout too, earning it another THUMBS UP.

"Bring Me To Life" - Evanescence
I hate this song. Whiny, affected, pseudo-Rock bollocks. On the one hand, I'm glad this track was included in Band Hero instead of a Guitar Hero game/DLC but on the other, it's a terrible song and I would've been perfectly content had it never disgraced any of the Hero games. Anyway, enough about my personal distaste towards the song; how's the chart? Well, it's basically just chords and strumming with a few sustains...so THUMBS DOWN.

"Dirty Little Secret" - The All-American Rejects
Never been into these guys, although I doubt any of you will be that surprised. These guys are safe Pop Rock for edgy teenage girls so their songs tend to sound the same. That being said, I don't hate this song or chart. It's run-of-the-mill for this game so I guess it belongs here as much as any other All-American Rejects tune. I'm on the fence about this one but I'm going to give them a THUMBS UP because I sort of like the guitar riff. Just a shame it's stapled to this song.

"Do You Really Want To Hurt Me" - Culture Club
80s Pop song? Cool! This particular 80s Pop song? Oh. I guess it's an alright song with a good easy chart for the start of the game's career mode, although I personally would've preferred "Karma Chameleon" or some other 80s New Wave song, as there were plenty with fun guitar. Some Blondie perhaps, maybe "Echo Beach" - Martha And The Muffins? Yeah, now that I think about it, I don't like this song. The chorus is annoying and it forms the majority of the song's melody. THUMBS DOWN.

"Don't Speak" - No Doubt
One of two songs by No Doubt in this game and I have to say, I hate both songs equally! Boring guitar, irritating vocals, just really bland performances by everyone all-round. Fuck No Doubt. THUMBS DOWN.

"Every Rose Has Its Thorn" - Poison
As indifferent as I am to this Country song masquerading as a Hair Metal ballad, the guitar chart's actually pretty fun. Some great HOPO riffs and a short but sweet solo. I would've preferred a Hair Metal power ballad like "Home Sweet Home" - Motley Crue but this song's a good choice, I suppose. Probably more accessible than "Home Sweet Home" too. THUMBS UP.

"Fascination" - Alphabeat
I remember hearing this song's chorus in TV ads a lot which put me off it for a while. However, after listening to the song in full, I actually sort of like it! Catchy melody and some decent guitar (although plenty of awkward strumming too), plus it's upbeat Pop so definitely the perfect music for this game. There are a bunch of other upbeat chart songs I would probably have preferred in this game but I can't think of a good enough reason to give it a Thumbs Down so, by process of elimination, it must earn a THUMBS UP.

"Gasoline" - The Airbourne Toxic Event
Oh boy, I love this song! I especially love the heavy guitar riff and HOPO use in this classic Audioslave so...oh, wait. It's not the song I'm thinking of. It's just a modern Rock song that sort of sounds like a worse version of Tom Petty. This song has some fun guitar parts and awkward guitar parts but it's getting a THUMBS UP for being a moderately challenging guitar chart in comparison to the rest of the game. Plus, it's not just pre-pubescent teenage Pop Rock so it deserves some credit for that.

"Hands Down" - Dashboard Confessional
Aaaaand here's the pre-pubescent teenage Pop Rock. Chart's mostly chord strumming but there are some fun riffs here and there. Unfortunately, most of them would be more fun with HOPOs instead of strum notes but at least they're good riffs to listen to. I know nothing about this band (I don't think I even played this song in Band Hero) so can't comment on what song would be a better choice but since it's a decent Pop Rock tune with a fun chart, it deserves a THUMBS UP.

"Hang Me Up To Dry" - Cold War Kids
THUMBS DOWN to this boring ass, Radiohead-wannabe Indie song with its tedious guitar chart and uninspired music. That's all that needs to be said about this track.

"Happy Together" - The Turtles
This song is popular enough to belong in this game and even though the guitar chart is easy, it contains a fair amount of variety to make it slightly more fun. However, I personally would've preferred more focus on the guitar and less on the annoying brass in the chorus. Still, this is a solid pick for Band Hero. THUMBS UP.

"Honky Tonk Woman" - The Rolling Stones
Bobby Kotick loves his Rolling Stones, huh. Of all their songs to be in Band Hero, this probably has to be one of the more sensible choices. Guitar's OK but nothing special, just like all the other Rolling Stones songs, and it's a relatively well known tune of theirs without being as "heavy" as bigger hits like "Jumpin' Jack Flash" and "Paint It, Black" (which was already in GH3). I'm a little surprised they didn't go for something like "Start Me Up" or "Brown Sugar" but either way, I can't complain about this song's inclusion when the alternative probably wouldn't have been much better. THUMBS UP.

"I Heard It Through The Grapevine" - Marvin Gaye
This game also has plenty of R&B/Soul although, for some reason, they decided to not pick R&B/Soul songs with fun guitar and instead choose ones with strings/brass/keys. We didn't get fun Stevie Wonder songs but we got this one with the sexy bass and annoying trill section on guitar. Still, it's a good tune to listen to...although a horrible song to play so THUMBS DOWN.

"I Want You To Want Me (Live)" - Cheap Trick
Easily one of the best songs in the game. Fun guitar chart and the best version of this song available, since the At Budokan version doesn't sound as good, the In Color original is Bubblegum Pop and the rerecorded studio version doesn't quite pack the same punch. There are some mildly awkward sections but with practise, this song is easy to master and a blast to play. Plus it's one of Cheap Trick's most famous songs that hasn't already been in Guitar Hero so THUMBS UP.

"If You Could Only See" - Tonic
It would've been awesome if this game had a bunch of 90s Alternative Rock songs that crossed into mainstream radio territory, stuff like "Jumper" - Third Eye Blind and "Shine" - Collective Soul. Unfortunately, we got songs like this. Non-threatening 90s Pop Rock with fairly unimpressive guitar for 17 year old girls. That's what happens when a bunch of businessmen in suits thinktank a setlist for a target demographic currently uninterested in rhythm music video games. THUMBS DOWN.

"In A Big Country" - Big Country
Despite being the single edit, this is definitely more fun than the Rock Band 3 chart. It's got some mildly awkward sections but it's still a good chart and a great song to listen to. I don't really know anything else about this band but I'm guessing it's one of their most popular songs, seeing as how they named themselves after it. Regardless of the song/band's origins, it gets a THUMBS UP for sounding different to the average Band Hero song and for being an enjoyable experience to play.

"Just A Girl" - No Doubt
Hey, the circus clowns are back with their Pop Rock cover of the Rugrats theme! I'm sure this was intended to be a sarcastic comment on the perception of women in the media but Gwen Stefani really did a shit job of sounding frustrated at the injustice she faces. In fact, she seems better at singing the borderline slutty girly girl sections more than the "Fuck you and your misogyny" chorus parts. THUMBS DOWN for many reasons including failing to do what artists like Chrissie Hynde (Pretenders) do so fucking brilliantly.

"Kids" - Robbie Williams & Kylie Minogue
Definitely picked for the vocal melody in the chorus but it just so happens that this song has some fairly active guitar too. I suppose I'm glad that we got this song instead of a Robbie Williams song AND a Kylie Minogue one (unless the Robbie Williams one was "A Man For All Seasons") but it's not one I'd want to play often. That being said, it is quite funny listening to Robbie Williams' embarrassing rap in the outro so THUMBS UP for making me chuckle and entertaining me with the guitar chart, I suppose.

"Kung-Fu Fighting" - Carl Douglas
MUCH better than the Lego Rock Band chart, since that version is just chords and strumming. This chart has sections where you play the "DEE-DEE-DEE-DEE-DI-DI-DOO-DOO-DI" bit on tap notes throughout, adding more variety and sparing your strumming wrist from repetitive strain injury. It's also a fun little catchy tune that kids and families probably enjoyed playing together, since it's a universally recognised song. THUMBS UP for being a solid choice and having a tolerable chart.

"L.E.S. Artistes" - Santigold
Boring chart and song. "Say Aha" would've been better in every way. THUMBS DOWN.

"Let's Dance" - David Bowie
Ugh, this song. Boring as fuck in Lego Rock Band and just plain boring in Band Hero, even with the dull brass charted. Seriously, of all the David Bowie songs, this was their best choice? Not "Life On Mars", "Heroes?", "Modern Love", "The Jean Genie", all the other songs I mention when complaining about David Bowie song choices for video games? THUMBS DOWN.

"Lifeline" - Papa Roach
One of the hardest songs in the game although, by any other game's standard, it's pretty fucking easy. Edgy teen Rock with some fun guitar but mostly just strumming when it's not the main riff. I don't know any other better Papa Roach songs but if you want modern Rock with relatively challenging guitar, there's no short supply. Hell, a Foo Fighters song would've done instead of this repetitive shite. THUMBS DOWN.

"Like Whoa" - Aly & AJ
This song's first lyric is "Life is good, I can't complain, I mean I could but no-one's listening". She's complaining about how nobody's listening to her complaining. That should give you an insight into how much I dislike this Disney shit. It just sucks musically, lyrically and from a charting perspective. Aside from one small fast strumming section, it has nothing going for it on guitar. THUMBS DOWN.

"Lips Of An Angel" - Hinder
Modern Hard Pop Rock, just what we were missing! I'm surprised this game didn't have any Creed or Nickelback to go with this song but hey, at least it's not that bland. There's some fun to be had on guitar...like, a tiny minuscule amount. Yet again, it's another song picked to sing along to but at least it's a Rock song instead of more anaemic Pop. THUMBS UP.

"Love Is A Battlefield" - Pat Benatar
Awesome song, great guitar chart (complete with bitchin' solo), totally suitable for this game. One of the best songs in Band Hero and I feel no shame in saying that. THUMBS UP.

"Love Story" - Taylor Swift
The first of three songs by Taylor Swift, an artist who started off with Country Pop before transitioning to just Pop because it made her more money/was easier to sell. This complete crap with dull guitar and cliched lyrics about Romeo & Juliet written by an eleven year-old is a perfect example of a song that deserves a THUMBS DOWN. Can't wait to see what else Taylor has to offer!

"Mr. Roboto" - Styx
Hats off to Activision for getting the original version of this song instead of a rerecording, which is probably why it didn't export to other games. Anyway, I love this song! Guitar chart's OK, nothing fancy but it's exactly what it needed to be for this song. The track itself is probably the best Styx song to choose, since some of their other Pop songs are probably a bit too much on the Prog side like "Come Sail Away" although I think I would've been happy with most popular Styx songs. THUMBS UP.

"Naive" - The Kooks
Hate The Kooks and this song. If it was "Sofa Song" or "She Moves In Her Own Way", MAYBE I would've been less harsh but instead, we got this wank. On the plus side, it's more active guitar than a lot of other songs on this list but sadly, it's all in service of a song I wouldn't listen to even if it drowned out the sound of my parents fucking. THUMBS DOWN.

"Ocean Avenue" - Yellowcard
I've listened to this song a bunch of times and I still can't remember anything about it. It's just generic weeny Pop Punk and certainly no "The Takedown". However, I'm guessing it's also this band's most popular song so it's a logical choice for the game. Plus, aside from all the chord strumming, there are some fun HOPO/tap note sections. Ah, what the hell. THUMBS UP for not being an awful Pop Punk song like "Stacy's Mom" or "Teenage Dirtbag".

"Oh, Pretty Woman" - Roy Orbison
Yeah, I like this song's riff. I prefer it to the one in the Van Halen cover too, although the rest of the song is pretty dull. If I'm being honest, I'm not entirely sure why this song was in the game as I doubt the target audience are that familiar with it to the point that they'd love to play/sing it. Some 60s songs like "Happy Together" that have reached a certain level of cultural acceptance are understandable but Roy Orbison ain't reaching the teens, I'll tell you that much. Plus, I probably would've preferred some other piece of Pop Rock from the 60s. Maybe something by Herman's Hermits or Jefferson Airplane? "Somebody To Love" would've been a great choice for this game. THUMBS DOWN, I'm afraid.

"Our Lips Are Sealed" - The Go-Go's
Meh, I prefer the Fun Boy Three version of this song. Once again, it's serviceable 80s Pop Rock but I would've preferred some Blondie, as something like "Atomic" or "Call Me" probably would've been more enjoyable on guitar. However, personal taste aside, this song is suitable for the game and probably more popular than I'm aware of so THUMBS UP.

"Paralyzer" - Finger Eleven
Whilst I personally prefer the song "Living In A Dream" by this band, this is the bigger single and still has plenty of guitar throughout so it's the better choice for the game. Plus, I think "Living In A Dream" hadn't been released when this game came out so really, it's the only choice by this band. THUMBS UP despite the awkward guitar riff in the verse.

"Picture To Burn" - Taylor Swift
Yee-haw, more Country from the artist we're all supposed to worship for some reason. However, of all the Taylor Swift songs to pick for the game, this is probably the best since "Shake It Off" hadn't been released yet. It's actually got some fun guitar, complete with banjo licks and a sweet solo. If you want a fun guitar chart and can tune out the terrible lyrics (seriously, they're fucking awful), you'll get some joy out of this. THUMBS UP.

"Pictures Of You" - The Last Goodnight
What is this shit and why did they censor "gun" in the lyrics? Don't want to toddlers playing this game to know weapons exist? THUMBS DOWN.

"Put Your Records On" - Corinne Bailey Rae
I fucking hate this song. I remember hearing it on the radio all the fucking time growing up and hating every second of it. This was clearly another song picked for the purpose of singing along with friends in your bedroom after school, hence the dull guitar chart and the THUMBS DOWN I'm giving it.

"Rio" - Duran Duran
There are exactly two songs by Duran Duran that I like and since Guitar Hero 5 got the other one, I'm glad Band Hero got this one. It's also much more fun than the Rock Band chart, which was simultaneously boring AND awkward on guitar. Granted there's brass charted with tap notes here but I'm OK with that. I'm also OK with this particular 80s Pop song being in the game so THUMBS UP.

"Rock Star" - N.E.R.D.
I would genuinely have preferred the Nickelback song "Rock Star" over this trash performed by more Hip Hop cunts who don't understand what the term "Rock Star" means. THUMBS DOWN.

"Santa Monica" - Everclear
This bland Surf Rock song means absolutely nothing to me and the fact that it exists annoys me, as it meant a potentially better 90s/00s Alternative Rock song lost a place on this game's setlist. There are some decent HOPO sections that last precisely half a second each and the rest of the song consists of chords and sustains. Boring track and chart. THUMBS DOWN.

"She Will Be Loved" - Maroon 5
Hey hey, it's the other circus clown that was playable in the game, Adam Levine! It'll come as no surprise to you that I fucking hate Maroon 5 on account of having working ears connected to a functioning brain so we all know the verdict I'm going to give this generic Pop shite...but let's spend some time dicking on the track a little more, shall we? Dull 4/4 strumming, uninspired vocal melodies (anyone else hear touches of early 00s Red Hot Chili Peppers in the chorus?), absolutely no backbone from any of the band members playing on this garbage excuse for a soulful song, an appalling lack of variety in the chart due to the simplistic nature of the song and even though vocalists will probably have a blast wailing along to Patch Adam, it's getting an almighty THUMBS DOWN from me.

"So Yesterday" - Hilary Duff
Remember Hilary Duff? You do? Why? Anyway, she has a song with a name almost as annoying as the thought of Hilary Duff. Unsurprisingly, the guitar chart is dull and repetitive and the songis even worse than I thought a song called "So Yesterday" would be. THUMBS DOWN.

"Steal My Kisses" - Ben Harper & The Innocent Criminals
Jesus, we're fully into the shit now, aren't we? More generic chord strumming to a funky rhythm in a sorry excuse for a 90s Surf Rock tune. Serious question, how did Activision fuck up the setlist this badly? Harmonix had the right idea with Lego Rock Band but Activision clearly had no clue, almost as if the setlist was picked by about eight cynical businessmen with a collective age of 430 years after a few hours Googling "What do youngsters listen to?" or asking a single intern what was on their iPod. THUMBS DOWN.

"Sugar, We're Going' Down" - Fall Out Boy
....I mean, I can't fault the inclusion of Fall Out Boy in Band Hero, as much as I dislike their pipsqueak brand of "Rock". What I am confused about is why they also appeared in Guitar Hero Warriors Of Rock, since I thought this game served an unintended purpose of attracting terrible Pop Rock songs away from GH like a black hole for non-edgy teen music? Anyway, the guitar chart is average. Chords, strumming, a decent HOPO outro and some relatively challenging rhythms for those unfamiliar with the game but otherwise, just a dull experience in comparison to some of their other songs like "Thnks Fr Th Mmrs" or "Dead On Arrival". THUMBS DOWN.

"Take A Picture" - Filter
This song is only six minutes long but my God, it felt like double that when I played it in Band Hero. Anyway, what can I say about the chart? How about "hope you like chord strumming, kids!" as that's all this song is...for six minutes. In what world could someone find this an objectively enjoyable experience on guitar, especially when compared to their other song in GH, "Hey Man, Nice Shot"? I mean, this song is the complete fucking opposite of that one in every way! Complete misfire of a song choice. THUMBS DOWN.

"Take Back The City" - Snow Patrol
Yep, I hate Snow Patrol too. Moaning horseshit disguised as Rock that everyone I grew up with fucking loved. I will say this though; I do prefer this song to "Chasing Cars" and that one from the Spider-Man film...although I still dislike this song overall. The chorus is like a worse version of the "I'm not scared" part from "New Way Home" - Foo Fighters although the chart isn't awful. Since Snow Patrol were quite popular and this song is definitely the best one of theirs that I've heard, I'm giving it a reluctant THUMBS UP.

"Take What You Take" - Lily Allen
This song actually surprised me when it was announced for the game. I'm not sure if Lily Allen took off in America but she used to be on the radio all the fucking time in the UK. I heard a lot of her tunes on the radio but never this one. If I did hear this one, I probably would've given her a fairer chance instead of judging her based on the shite that charted instead. It's a fun tune with some decent guitar so THUMBS UP for giving me a reason to enjoy Lily Allen's music, something I never thought any of her songs would do.

"The Adventure" - Angels & Airwaves
Now we have one of those modern Pop Rock songs that's all about having "feeeeeeeeeeeelings". Guitar's pretty dull, mostly just strumming single notes although there's plenty of variety in the note formation. Sadly, the song is kinda meh and the outro goes on way too long. I don't know anything about this band so can't recommend an alternative. However, assuming these guys are the American equivalent of UK bands like Franz Ferdinand and Kaiser Chiefs, it would've been good to get songs by bands like Franz Ferdinand and Kaiser Chiefs in the game. They're fairly popular and have fun guitar charts, which is probably why they ended up on Band Hero DS/Guitar Hero On Tour: Modern Hits instead. Ah well, THUMBS DOWN.

"The Impression That I Get" - The Mighty Mighty Bosstones
Originally, I had no interest in buying Band Hero...until this song was confirmed for the game's setlist, then I knew I had to buy it. It was a track I requested to be in GH way before Band Hero and thankfully, the guitar chart is everything I hoped for and more. Fun chord sequence and a fun Ska Punk tune to listen to. Definitely the best Mighty Mighty Bosstones song they could've picked and whilst some people would probably want other Ska Punk tracks, this is a straight up THUMBS UP from me.

"Turn Off The Light" - Nelly Furtado
I don't know anything about Nelly Furtado, other than the fact that her name sounds like a cruel and archaic way of referring to someone with special needs, but judging by this song I can also infer that Nelly's never heard of the expression "less is more". This song sounds like she was given a list of available musical effects and instruments to use and instead of choosing ones that compliment each other, she just slammed her hand on the clipboard and blurted out "ALLADEM". That being said, I would probably like this song a lot if it wasn't overproduced. It's a nice melody and the guitar chart is pretty fun! THUMBS UP.

"Walking On Sunshine" - Katrina and the Waves
Another chart that's better than its Rock Band counterpart, mostly due to the variety added with brass on guitar. Other than that though, it's totally appropriate for the game. Fun and catchy tune, somewhat entertaining chart and I literally have no idea if Katrina and the Waves have ever recorded another song in the history of their career so "Walking On Sunshine" is the only choice available. THUMBS UP.

"Wannabe" - Spice Girls
Oh boy, THIS one. The one where the women rap "If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends" and "Slam your body down and wind it all around". The "guitar" chart is pretty laughable but this was clearly picked for the vocals, which I can understand. After all, this is one of those songs where people who like it either do so because they genuinely like the tune or they're doing it ironically because it's so cheesy. I'm neither of those people. THUMBS DOWN. There are better Pop songs to sing and play.

"Warwick Avenue" - Duffy
This is another song I could never get into when it came out. I remember the music video of her crying in black and white but I preferred "Mercy" and "Rain On Your Parade". However, this song has more active guitar than I thought it would and the vocals are pretty damn good. I'm glad we got more Soul in this game, even if it is modern Soul. Plus, they could've picked an Amy Winehouse song. That would've been embarrassing. THUMBS UP.

"When I'm Gone" - 3 Doors Down
On the plus side, this is a Rock song with a decent guitar chart. On the downside, it's by that band that played at Trump's inauguration so they're basically on the same respectability level as one of those bands fronted by a paedophile. Then again, when this song was picked, the world didn't know just how cuntish these cunts were so I suppose it's a THUMBS UP that has aged incredibly poorly.

"Whip It" - Devo
There are several Devo songs they could've picked for this game but I'm glad they picked the obvious choice. "Whip It" is a good tune to listen to on occasion and whilst it's not the most fun guitar chart, it's what it needs to be; easy for the start of the game's career mode. In short, I like this song and it's getting a THUMBS UP.

"Y.M.C.A." - Village People
This song is responsible for a funny scene in Wayne's World 2 and a hilarious joke in The Life And Times Of Tim. Other than that, I'm struggling to think of any other benefit to living in a reality where this song exists. It certainly isn't this chart that contains absolutely no guitar despite there being guitar in the song. Sure, it may have that challenging little tap note section throughout but I would taken literally any other 70s Funk/Disco song in its place. Some Bee Gees would've been incredible instead of this...this fucking meme. THUMBS DOWN.

"You Belong With Me" - Taylor Swift
The final song by Taylor Swift-Transition-From-Country-To-Pop-To-Make-More-Money. The lyrics tell a story of a girl singing to a guy she likes about how his girlfriend is wrong for him and that they should be together instead; I have multiple issues with this song. Number 1: Taylor Swift could've had any guy she wanted at school, she was rich and (probably) attractive. Number 2: I don't believe for a second that Taylor would've been the quiet, awkward chick. Taylor Swift was almost certainly the school bitch or at least one of them. 3) "You Belong With Me"? Way to get weirdly possessive about romance, Taylor. If I were a guy in high school, I'd probably want to go out with the girl trying to claim me like a fucking trophy. Once again, it's lowest common denominator pandering. Oh yeah, and the music/guitar chart sucks. THUMBS DOWN.

"You Had Me" - Joss Stone
I hate Joss Stone's voice and, by extension, this song. However, that is one great guitar/clavinet chart. It's also a popular tune so it makes sense to include in this game's setlist AND it's funny to listen to with all the censored lyrics. THUMBS UP.


With that, we reach the end of the setlist and the scores are 35 Thumbs Up to 30 Thumbs Down. Despite being a setlist containing mostly Pop and modern crap, it wins with a 54% approval rating! As for what I've personally gained from revisiting all of the songs/charts, I've learned that whilst there are some good times to be had from trying to FC every song in the game, I've also got a lot of shit to wade through if I want to join the esteemed league of rhythm music gamers who successfully FGFC'd Band Hero about 10 years ago when people gave a shit.
Feel free to join me at twitch.tv/iasg14 to see my suffer through it yourself!

The RARRAMAMSPAs 2019

It was a smashing success last year so I'm bringing it back again, it is....
The Riffs And Raffs Rock And Metal (And Maybe Some Pop) Awards!

Since this is the second time I'm doing this, there'll be similarities and differences between the RARRAMAMSPAs from 2018. Namely, the award categories will contain a blend of old and new, as some categories may not apply as effectively to the last year's music. Once again, I feel it's necessary to remind you that these awards aren't meant to be taken seriously (just like every single awards show in the history of awards shows, yada yada yada) and that my opinion on albums I rate highly in this post might change throughout the course of the year.
With that in mind, let's celebrate a slight improvement over 2017's musical banquet!


The "Boston Zeppelin Through The Night" Award for
BEST ROCK ALBUM
The album I valued the most that belonged to the Rock genre, including various subgenres such as Southern Rock, Hard Rock and Shoegazing. It does NOT include Metal, Pop and their subgenres.
And the nominees are...
Prequelle - Ghost
Living The Dream - Slash, feat. Myles Kennedy & The Conspirators
Used Future - The Sword
Living The Dream - Uriah Heep

And the winner is...

Prequelle - Ghost for being the single greatest album I've listened to in a long, long time. Some may call this a Metal album but to me, it rides the line between Rock and Metal in a way that can include the better aspects of both genres...hence, it counts!


The "Screaming For Powerslave In Peace" Award for
BEST METAL ALBUM
The album I valued the most that belonged to the Metal genre, including various subgenres such as Hair Metal and that's about it. It does NOT include Rock, Pop and their subgenres.
And the nominees are...
Firepower - Judas Priest
Thunderbolt - Saxon
The Sacrament Of Sin - Powerwolf
Used Future - The Sword

And the winner is...

Prequelle - Ghost for being the SINGLE GREATEST ALBUM I've listened to in a long, long time that contains aspects of Rock AND Metal so fuck you, it wins this one as well. Go listen to Prequelle and tell me I'm wrong. If I had to pick one from the list above to win, I guess it'd be The Sacrament Of Sin - Powerwolf for being a very close runner-up though.


The "Sgt. Pepper's Thriller Sounds" Award for
BEST POP ALBUM
The album I valued the most that belonged to the Pop genre. Pop albums may contain songs with a Rock twist or be recorded by Rock bands so long as it's very clearly a Pop album.
And the nominees are...
Simulation Theory - Muse
Attention Attention - Shinedown
Some Generic Noise - A Sexy Glistening Womanhole
Breathy Acoustic Moaning - A Sexy Pouty Manboy

And the winner is...

Well it's fucking Prequelle - Ghost, isn't it? Who cares about Pop albums on this blog, fact of the matter is Prequelle was the best album of the year. It was so good that an album traversing three different musical genres deserves three separate awards for doing them so perfectly. Out of the albums on the list above, I guess Attention Attention - Shinedown is the best although it really stretches the definition of Pop. Then again, so does Prequelle so feel free to give your own personal award to whichever you think deserves it the most although if it's not Prequelle, I'll be very disappointed.


The "Generation Lulu Or Bust" Award for
MOST PATHETIC ALBUM
The album that could've been decent (or maybe even great) if the band got their shit together and one or more members didn't absolutely phone it in. It's anyone's game in the genre department and once again, you're in the wrong part of the Internet if you want to read about Pop.
And the nominees are...
Simulation Theory - Muse
Post-Apocalypto - Tenacious D
Anthem Of The Peaceful Army - Greta Van Fleet
The Music Made Me Do It - Ted Nugent

And the winner is...

Post-Apocalypto - Tenacious D, hands down. Greta Van Fleet have only released EPs so a disappointing first album isn't quite as pathetic as a fourth record by a band who very clearly rushed the songwriting process to whack something out before the end of the year. The same can be said for Muse, a band familiar with releasing poor albums, and Ted Nugent, an artist who hasn't fallen from the mountain of grace so much as tumbled off a footstool. Mind you, Ted Nugent was very close to winning this one if not for Tenacious D's utter failure.


The "Tyranny And Caress Of Miracles" Award for
MOST UNDERRATED ALBUM OF LAST YEAR
The album from 2017 that deserved some love in last year's RARRAMAMSPAs but took me an entire year to realise it. Rock and Metal albums only in this post, as I don't think any Pop albums are underrated (especially not modern ones).
And the nominees are...
The Mission - Styx
About Time - Horisont
The Knight Of Rebellion - Dream Troll
From The Fires - Greta Van Fleet

And the winner is...

About Time - Horisont. Maybe if Anthem Of The Peaceful Army wasn't so mediocre, From The Fires would've taken this win. However, an album that immediately grabbed me and encouraged me to check out more of the band is definitely one that should've been featured in last year's blog post...although it still probably would've lost to Pinewood Smile - The Darkness.


Now onto the awards for musical moments!


The "Planet Classic Blabbermouth" Award for
BEST NEWS STORY
This award goes to the news story that I'm most proud of bringing to you. The story that I think has the best details and most imaginative series of events that totally happened.
And the nominees are...
Bruce Springsteen Finishes 148 Hour Concert
Kirk Hammett To Face Pedal Abuse Charges
Led Zeppelin Are Not Touring Or Recording New Music
K.K. Downing "Still Upset" Over Starbucks Argument

And the winner is...

Led Zeppelin Are Not Touring Or Recording New Music. I like all of these articles but every time I see a tweet about Jimmy Page's new interview or something like that, I'm always reminded of this universal, evergreen article. The Bruce Springsteen one is a close second, mind.


The "Number Of Flames With Rock Of The Night" Award for
BEST RIFF
This award goes to the song with the most awesome riff played on guitar in 2018. Any songs from the Rock, Metal and Pop genre are eligible although let's face it, Pop ain't winning no riff competition. As for which riffs I'm counting (as many great Rock songs feature at least 3 distinguishable riffs), I'm mostly looking for riffs that carry the song's main melody rather than decent ones used sporadically throughout the track
And the nominees are...
"Firepower" - Judas Priest
"Dance Macabre" - Ghost
"Fire And Forgive" - Powerwolf
"Rats" - Ghost

And the winner is...

"Rats" - Ghost. They are REALLY cleaning up tonight, huh.


And finally


The "Master Of Sex Magik...But Who's Buying" Award for
PEOPLE'S FAVOURITE BLOG POST
This award goes to the Riffs And Raffs blog post written/posted in 2018 that had the most views, even if it wasn't my personal favourite or even best piece of writing. Yes, this award might be a little self-congratulatory but fuck it, this is my BBQ so I get to choose the meat.

And the winner is...

Rapid Fire: Motorhead, David Bowie, Tom Petty with 3097 views!
Again, most (if not all) of these are probably bot/spam so if I had to guess, the post with the most actual views is probably this one after I asked people to read it on Twitter. Anyway, numbers!!


Before I finish up, I just wanted to say a few final words regarding blog post plans for the upcoming year.
Over the last couple of years, I set myself the challenge of writing at least one blog post a week (or an equivalent average) to keep my mind focused and my writing talents alive. However, fans of this blog will probably know that most of the blog posts I submitted in 2018 were all done in the last week of the month, hastily typed up just to meet the quota for the year. This was mostly because I was busy with other commitments but I also think it's because I didn't really have a lot to write about towards the end of the year, particularly when Rock/Metal news stories died down and album releases weren't as common.
As a result, I've decided to reduce the amount I'll be posting on this blog.

Don't worry, I'M NOT STOPPING!

I still intend to post album reviews, periodic Here Is The News satire pieces and everything else I usually write. I just won't be posting them as often. There are two main reasons for my decision:
Firstly, whilst I still enjoy writing certain blog posts, I felt that rushing out four posts in a week because I'd left it so late due to lack of inspiration throughout the month didn't result in quality writing. Sure, some of the posts were great but towards the end of the year, I felt like I was scraping the barrel a little. I'd rather write a blog post that I'm proud of after a brilliant idea comes to me than whack out filler posts for the sake of it.
Secondly, people close to me know that I want to get into screenwriting as a profession and I've always told myself that until I can actually get my shit together, writing blog posts helps me improve and keeps me actively doing the thing I want to do for a living. Unfortunately, after some introspection, I feel like I've been using that as an excuse to not pursue my dream. I've set myself the goal of actually writing and submitting a proper script this year (which is coming along nicely, by the way) so I'd rather dedicate my writing energy to that over a series of blog posts about which songs I like in Guitar Hero/Rock Band games.
As I said up above, I WILL STILL BE SUBMITTING BLOG POSTS THROUGHOUT THE YEAR although I'm not going to put a number on exactly how many I intend to write or when I intend to write them. In the meantime, if you want to hear me casually talk about music you can always follow me on Twitter (where I'll be sharing new blog posts) OR check out my Twitch streams where I play Clone Hero and other video games, frequently discussing music and other topics.

Well then, now that that's out of the way, let's try to enjoy 2019 before it's too late!

Tenology: My Ten Favourite Rock/Metal Songs Of 2018

Well, here we are again. End of the year which means it's time to look back at all the new albums and singles I've enjoyed throughout 2018 and present them in a list of no particular order. That's right, this is NOT a "Top 10" post where the first or last song in the entry is the greatest song of the year, nor is it a ranking list of my favourite songs after listening to every Rock/Metal album released. There will be omissions and there will be no real reason for putting the ten songs I've picked in the specific order listed below, other than "because I wanted to do it this way".
Fortunately, I'll probably cover those omissions in a 2020 blog post in a similar manner to the one I'm planning for early 2019 where I'll be looking at songs from 2017 that I really enjoyed yet didn't listen to until some time in 2018. Got that? No? Too bad. One last thing before I start: I've included a Spotify playlist at the bottom of this post so you can listen to all the songs I've rated (honourable mentions and all!) whilst reading about why I liked them. It's also an opportunity for you to hear songs I really liked and would recommend in case you missed them. Right, let's do this!


1. "When The Curtain Falls" - Greta Van Fleet

When I reviewed Anthem Of The Peaceful Army a couple of months ago, I was largely indifferent to the majority of the songs due to how disappointing it was in comparison to the band's EP From The Fires. However, there were some songs I really liked and my favourite had to be lead single, "When The Curtain Falls". Great riff, shrill vocals and catchy melodies throughout, not to mention a decent solo to play us out. If you liked From The Fires but haven't listened to Anthem Of The Peaceful Army yet, you're probably better off listening to this song and maybe a handful of others instead of the whole album. Personal taste will depend on the other songs I'd recommend but regardless of what you're into, I'll always recommend this one.


2. "Firepower" - Judas Priest

Another song from an album I reviewed on the blog; don't worry, there'll be some tracks I haven't discussed before here too. The latest Judas Priest album was essentially a love letter to fans of the band's earlier material, combining good aspects of Painkiller, Screaming For Vengeance and British Steel with a modern twist. "Firepower" is a great title track and album opener with awesome riffs and fantastic vocals, exactly what was needed to remind fans that the band could still kick ass. There were other belters on the album too and who knows, maybe you'll see a few more in this post...


3. "Venom Of Venus" - Powerwolf

I only just finished writing about The Sacrament Of Sin, a great Power Metal album that contains a load of great tunes with heavy riffing and mild solos. However, for an album that's strength lies in its melodic nature, "Venom Of Venus" was the track that got me invested more than any other. The vocals steal the show, although the rest of the band bring the thunder too. However, I was also tempted to include "Fire & Forgive", "The Sacrament Of Sin" or "Fist By Fist (Sacralize Or Strike)" on this list too, although I feel like this song will stick with me longer than those.


4. "Fuchsia Machu Picchu" - Joachim Cooder

...who? Yeah, I heard this song on the radio one day and loved it. Great thumping rhythm, nice vocals, funky riffs and mystical accompaniments. I guess this is more of a Rock song than Pop, although it's probably the closest thing to Pop on this list. I haven't listened to any other songs by Joachim Cooder but if I hear something else by him/them (?) that I like, I'll be sure to check more tunes out. Until then, at least we've got this strange little number that I bet none of you ever expected to see on this list.


5. "Miasma" - Ghost

I'm mixing the formula up a bit by putting my number one favourite song of the year (from my number one favourite album of the year, as reviewed here) at the midway point of the post, rather than at the end like the last two from 2016/2017. This instrumental is fucking great and just goes from strength to strength as the song progresses. By the three minute mark, the song's taken off and before you know it, there are solos played on not just guitar and synth but also a fucking saxophone. This Metal instrumental finds a way of making a saxophone solo sound badass and for that reason alone, it deserves a spot on this list.


6. "Necromancer" - Judas Priest

Hey, look at that, Judas Priest showed up again! Revisiting some of my favourite songs from 2018 (a list that previously had about 30 different tracks in it), I tried to give songs by a wider variety of artists a chance but at the end of the day, I found myself enjoying multiple Judas Priest tracks over ones by Shinedown and Saxon. Whilst "Firepower" is probably my number one favourite off the album, "Necromancer" is a very close second. The faster tempo in the verse to give the song a driving rhythm is great and come on, if there's one thing Judas Priest knows how to do it's write awesome themes for their own mythological characters.


7. "Firewalker" - King Zebra

This was another song recommended to me that I ended up loving. Granted it might be a little similar to some of the others on this list (you can tell I definitely have a specific taste!) but when a band I've never heard of gets my attention as fast as King Zebra did with this song, I know they're worth mentioning. Fortunately for them, their song was great enough to earn a place on the full list and not just the honourable mentions so if you like NWOTHM, check this song out!


8. "Sugar Cane" - Slash, feat. Myles Kennedy & The Conspirators

This song nearly didn't make it in the list! I completely forgot about this album until I started writing the post and after revisiting a few tracks that I remembered enjoying, I found myself wanting to come back to this song over all the others. Awesome Slash riffs, fantastic Myles Kennedy vocals in the chorus and a vibe that makes it sound like the perfect song to fucking jam to in a live gig. There are some other decent tracks on the Slash album too (that I mention in my review found here) but "Sugar Cane" is probably my favourite from it.


9. "Whatever" - Thundermother

Another new song that I heard on the radio once and forgot about for a while until revisiting all of the year's best tunes. Imagine if Halestorm were just a little bit better musically and you've got "Whatever" - Thundermother. You get the same raw vocal talent but with the added benefit of better solos, percussion and general song structure. It's a shame that Thundermother seem to be going through somewhat of a tempestuous period with changing lineups and whatnot but fingers crossed the lineup from this album sticks around for some time!


10. "Rats" - Ghost

I mean, you should've seen this one coming. Even if "Miasma" is my favourite song of the year, "Rats" is a very strong second best from Prequelle. I've talked about the track before but in short, it's got everything needed to make a perfect anthematic Rock song. If you read this blog, you must've heard the song by now. You must know that I fucking love this song and album so it's no surprise that it's on this list.

What MIGHT be a surprise are some of these honourable mentions (in alphabetical order):


"Book Of Thoth" - The Sword

I thought the latest album by The Sword was OK (review here) and had several tracks I was considering for the coveted spot of an honourable mention here. However, in the end, I went with "Book Of Thoth" for containing the heavy riffs I associate with The Sword and some interesting guitar playing too. It's a more memorable song than some of my other favourites from Used Future but it's not quite as good as the tracks listed above. At least not to me, anyway.


"Dance Macabre" - Ghost

Got to fit Ghost in one last time (go fucking listen to Prequelle). Whilst "Miasma" and "Rats" are worthy of a place in the main list, I felt like I couldn't justify three Ghost songs when there were other tracks that needed a place too. Sadly for "Dance Macabre", that meant one song had to be an honourable mention and this ABBA-esque Hard Rock tune drew the short straw. Don't get me wrong though, I still love the track and would recommend it without a moment's hesitation.


"Flame Thrower" - Judas Priest

Yup, same situation with Judas Priest. I liked Firepower and multiple songs on the album grabbed me in an incredibly pleasurable way but I couldn't put three songs off it in the list, hence "Flame Thrower" ending up here instead. I think it was easier moving this song here because I'm not really into the intro that much but once the percussion comes in, everything gets much better.


"Grazed By Heaven" - Uriah Heep

Definitely my favourite song from Living The Dream and probably the most accessible track to casual fans of the band, since it has the Hard Prog sound of guitar/organ harmonies. However, it also boasts some great lengthy solos too so if you only listen to one song from the album, make sure it's this one...which will probably happen anyway, since it's the album opener and lead single.


"The New Day" - Greta Van Fleet

The last song in the post and it's another repeat band! I may have been a bit frosty to their recent album but damn, I love this song's main riff. It's like a glorious blend of early Rush and peak Led Zeppelin...and then the vocals come in. They're so fucking bad in this song, they remind me of Steve Smith from American Dad (played by Scott Grimes) when he does a pained, high pitched scream. Those vocals can work in Hard Rock tracks but when you've got a more Folksy, acoustic-guitar driven melody and softer percussion, you need more delicate vocals. If I could travel across the multiverse and find a version of this song with identical music but someone more tactful than Josh Kiszka behind the mic, this song easily would've made the main ten.

That's it for 2018! I hope you've enjoyed what I've offered on the blog and will (hopefully) continue to offer throughout 2019 too!
Happy New Year to everyone who gives a shit about that sort of thing and see you all in January!