Tuesday 31 January 2017

Shout Out: Vitamin String Quartet

Just managed to get one last post in before February! However, as you can probably tell, it's a bit of a rushed one.

I've mentioned the Vitamin String Quartet once on this blog before but if you aren't aware of them, they're an American/Canadian outfit that covers popular songs from a variety of Pop/Rock based genres using nothing but percussion and string instruments. Their material has been used in a few TV episodes now and then but their work is still largely ignored by mainstream media, presumably due to the fact that their basically a stripped down covers band.
Anyway, this is my way of giving them a thumbs up to anyone who reads my blog. Whilst their material may not always be superior to the original versions, some of their covers are fucking ace and arguably better suited to the tone of the song with acoustic strings than full on electric instruments. Normally I'd discuss the album that I've giving a shout out to but if you read the title of this post carefully, you would've noticed that I'm recommending the band itself, not one of their many, many, many albums.
The main reason for this is because this band doesn't exist to release hit singles or solid albums like your conventional band; they release a shitload of covers for you to dip into, listening to songs you know and/or like to hear how they sound with strings. Naturally I'd recommend searching through the entire Spotify catalogue of Vitamin String Quartet but if you don't have the time or patience, I've compiled a mini playlist containing some of my favourite string covers that get progressively better as you advance through the list.
There's also material from the Midnite String Quartet and String Tribute Players who are basically inferior versions of the VSQ thrown in too.

Apologies for the lack of a proper blog post to finish January but I'm guessing we all have more pressing matters to be worried about right now. On the plus side, at least you have a soothing collection of string covers to enjoy as the world goes to shit!


Saturday 21 January 2017

Showdown: Rerecords

This post was requested back in November but it's finally here now. This time, I'm comparing two recordings of a single track by the same band over a couple of decades to see whether the band still have their spark or if their talent has faded away over time.
It's quite a straightforward format; I'll talk about the original recording first, then the rerecording before wrapping it up with my verdict as to which is best. I should also mention that I'm aiming to pick 10 different bands for this post and some artists are known for having several notable rerecords so if I pick the "wrong" track to discuss, I apologise. Unlike previous posts, most of these comparisons will be looking at small details in the songs rather than comparing two completely different entities so this post is one for fans of that sort of thing.

ROUND ONE: "Cult Of Personality" - Living Colour
Original (1988) - The original and the band's biggest hit, even if the riff did come about accidentally. I have to say, even if this isn't one of many favourite songs to listen to in any category, it might just be a perfect Rock song. Epic riff, awesome hooks throughout, decent structure, great outro and, of course, that solo. There isn't a single beat in this song that could've been done better if it was changed for something different so props to Living Colour for that.
Rerecord (2007) - Rerecorded for Guitar Hero 3: Legends Of Rock and virtually indistinguishable from the original unless you listen to them side by side or know the solo well. Whilst there are a few little subtle changes here and there (such as sustains in the verse and clearer percussion in the mix), the key difference in this recording is the intensity of the solos. Since it was rerecorded for GH, they presumably decided to make it more challenging for the players and by gum, I'm glad they did!
VERDICT - I should probably listen to more Living Colour as the high quality of their music hasn't faltered at all in that space of time. However, I am giving the win here to the Original for being what I consider the better song. The rerecord might have more furious shredding in the solos which is fun for playing Guitar Hero but kind of soulless when you're listening to it as a song. Fortunately, it's still a great rerecord although you'll probably enjoy it more if you have memories of playing it on GH.

ROUND TWO: "Heavy Metal Thunder" - Saxon
Original (1980) - It's been tricky to find tracks for this list that weren't discovered due to Guitar Hero/Rock Band but alas, here's our first! Album opener off Strong Arm Of The Law and most likely named after the lyric from "Born To Be Wild" - Steppenwolf that gave birth to the genre's official title, "Heavy Metal Thunder" is a rapid bastard of a track. Most people will know Saxon for "Wheels Of Steel" and if they knew Saxon were capable of this kind of Metal, they'd probably be more popular overseas.
Rerecord (2002) - I've gone on record as saying Saxon are one of the few bands in existence that have actually improved with age so I couldn't miss these guys out when writing about rerecords. I chose this track as it was picked not only as the album opener for the compilation this came from but also the song for the compilation to be named after. In terms of differences between this and the original, they're a bit easier to spot than the previous track. Heavier drums, more prominent/complex guitar, slightly less prominent bass, longer outro and a generally superior sound quality due to modern recording equipment.
VERDICT - You probably could've guessed this but it's going to the Rerecord. Even if you ignore the cleaner sound on the 2002 version, the original just doesn't sound as powerful as a track like "Heavy Metal Thunder" deserves to be. If anything, the 1980 original sounds like the weaker rerecord of a lesser band, although I do still like that version.

ROUND THREE: "Detroit Rock City" - KISS
Original (1976) - Probably one of the best KISS singles that most Rock fans would know and definitely superior to signature songs by the band. Even though it contains heavy riffs and a relatively weak guitar solo, this track is arguably  carried by the vocals and bass throughout, standing it apart from your typical air-guitar arena anthems of the genre. The only thing that really ruins it is the 1:29 of car noises (and another fucking KISS recording) before the track actually starts, not to mention the shrill car crash effects at the end.
Rerecord (2008) - Released as part of a Japanese collection of rerecords entitled Jigoku-Retsuden (Intense Transmission From Hell), this version of "Detroit Rock City" is mostly the same as the original except for a few small points. 1) The tempo is slightly slower. 2) The backing vocals and instruments sound a little different, due to the change in band members. 3) The introduction with the car effects has gone, although a few driving sounds can be heard throughout the song.
VERDICT - I should give it to the 2008 version for cutting out the intro but the win belongs to the Original for being slightly faster. Single edits and remasters can remove the car effects but the slower tempo can't be changed, making the rerecording ever so slightly worse, in my opinion.

ROUND FOUR: "Come Sail Away" - Styx
Original (1977) - Along with "Mr. Roboto", this is probably one of the most well known Styx songs out there to the general public. Whilst it isn't my personal favourite, it's not a bad tune with a nice piano intro and an awesome Rock build up as the song progresses. It might be a little too long-winded and synthy for many people's tastes but if you can make it to the words "come sail away" in the actual song, I think you'll be alright. This song's also pretty good when sped up 25% too.
Rerecord (2010) - Styx are one of the many Arena Rock bands that have felt the need to rerecord a bunch of their classic material in recent years due to lineup changes (and possibly original song royalties going to ex partners after bad divorces) so it's no surprise that "Come Sail Away" appeared on an EP entitled Regeneration: Volume 1 containing some of the band's other hits. Whilst the piano intro is spot on, the rest of the track is noticeably heavier when the guitar comes in and the drums sound a bit better too. Oh, and the guitar solo during the outro gets a bit more love too.
VERDICT - This might piss off purists but I'm going with the Rerecord on this one. Better sound, heavier riffs, more complex solo and still retains everything that made the original awesome. No question, I'd rather listen to that version if given a choice.

ROUND FIVE: "No Time" - The Guess Who
Original (1969) - It's a good 20 seconds before this song becomes a song instead of shitty noise so we're off to a poor start already. However, once the drums come in, it's all sorted out. It's got a semi-psychedelic vibe to it and if you've never heard the song before, I recommend listening to this version first. Those who've heard the rerecording but didn't know there was an original version might be interested to learn the main difference involves this track being longer due to an added guitar solo and verse.
Rerecord (1970) - Yup, it only took a year for this band to realise they could do better. Once again, the differences vary from obvious to subtle here. Obvious being the shorter song length and more radio-friendly nature to the track, subtle being the slightly faster tempo and musical consistency in the chorus. A common link between each of these songs seems to be the difference in outro too, as this song fades out instead of ending like the original.
VERDICT - This is a tricky one. On the one hand, I like the shorter version for being a tighter recording but on the other, I like listening to the band giving me more music to enjoy in the original. However, if I had to pick one to listen to for the rest of my life, I'd pick the Rerecord as I didn't feel like I'd miss any of the extra material in the longer version.

ROUND SIX: "Blackout" - Scorpions
Original (1982) - Surprised I'm not picking "Rock You Like A Hurricane"? I'll explain why in the next paragraph but first, let's look at this track from the album with the same name. It's a great Metal track that's probably overlooked thanks to songs like "Wind Of Change" and the aforementioned "Rock You Like A Hurricane" but it's got everything a good Metal song from the early 80s needed: solid riff, decent solo, screeching vocals and a study driving rhythm. I'd listen to this song more if not for the shitty ending; you know what I'm talking about.
Rerecord (2011) - Since the covers/rerecords album this came from was called Comeblack, I thought I'd pick the track that half the portmanteau is named after. It's pretty faithful to the original, although since Klaus Meine's vocals have deepened over the years, the song has to be tuned down a key. Combine this with the cleaner recording equipment and heavier drumming to make what sounds like more of a Metal track.
VERDICT - It's another win for the Rerecord army, I'm afraid. As I said above, the 2011 version sounds more like Metal to me and the improved ending without the glass smashing helps significantly too. For the record, I love the original track too and own both versions of the song on my phone.

ROUND SEVEN: "Juke Box Hero" - Foreigner
Original (1981) - Oooooh, I fucking love that bass! One of Foreigner's popular Hard Rock tracks that isn't a power ballad and definitely one of their best! Even if the vocals sound a bit raw now and then, the music and story told throughout the song are perfect Arena Rock material, although it'd be cool if the solo had a bit more going for it. Otherwise, it's awesome though. Bonus points go to this song for the use of dynamics in the mix to help get your adrenaline pumping.
Rerecord (2011) - Again, I chose this due to it coming from a bonus disc of rerecords named after this song...that and that it's an awesome song. Straight away, you can hear more synth and a lower key but if you listen closely, you can hear the dynamics in this mix are a little more balanced between the soft build up and loud pay off. Whilst this is definitely a reduction in quality, the chorus sounds fucking brilliant in the new key. Another big difference is the solo, which has been vastly improved. Even if there are some similarities, it sounds more like an actual guitar solo than the original.
VERDICT - Fuuuck, another tricky call to make. Whilst the 2011 version has the improved solo and chorus, I'm giving it to the Original purely down to the dynamics. They could've made the rerecord fucking incredible if they got the mix right but it just sounds flat compared to the 1981 version. Maybe that's just me but all I know is I got shivers listening to the original and nothing with the rerecord.

ROUND EIGHT: "Under The Sky" - The Answer
Original (2006) - As far as debut album openers for modern Rock bands go, this one's pretty sweet! Good rhythm, tasty riffs on guitar and bass, great vocals and a well written structure. It's one of the stronger tracks on Rise (although not my personal favourite) and I'm sure it was at least partially responsible for their career taking off, even if a different song off the album was featured on the Guitar Hero: World Tour soundtrack.
Rerecord (2016) - Last year, The Answer decided to release a 10th anniversary version of their debut and with it came a new version of this song...just this song. To be honest, if you didn't know either track that well, you'd find it tricky to identify which one came first as aside from a shorter intro, they're basically identical. With a couple of listens, you can hear a few minor tweaks in the sound quality but that's all. Each band member seems to remember this song fondly as they can recreate it perfectly, which begs the question as to why they bothered rerecording and releasing this track anyway.
VERDICT - Since both tracks sound the same, I have to look to the biggest difference; the intro. Personally, I much prefer the screaming guitar and build up at the start of the 2006 version over the basic strumming and drumming of the 2016 one so it's an easy choice. Original wins this round hands down.

ROUND NINE: "Iron Fist" - Motorhead
Original (1982) - I knew Motorhead was going to be in this list at some point but I didn't know which track until I started going through all the ones in Guitar Hero and Rock Band. I've already written about "Overkill" and "Ace Of Spades" so the next choice was either "Iron Fist", "Love Me Like A Reptile" or "(We Are) The Road Crew"; since "Iron Fist" was the first rerecord I heard after "Overkill", it had to be this one. It's basically another "Ace Of Spades" with two solos and a shitty fade out but if you like Motorhead's sound, you'll like this song.
Rerecord (2008) - I don't know if Motorhead rerecorded a bunch of songs just for GH/RB but somewhere out there is a collection of recordings from 2008 that will hopefully be released one day now that Lemmy's passed away. Since the other two band members have changed since the 70s/80s, the main difference in song quality is down to the guitar and drums. Personally, I fucking love the guitar in this song. Phil Campbell's work sounds a lot better here and at least this version has a proper outro.
VERDICT - Definitely the Rerecord. Motorhead stayed strong all the way to the end and I'm actually pretty fucking gutted that I never got a chance to see them live. However, their music will always live on and even if it seems like a bit of a hollow cash grab on the part of band/family members, I would be very interested in listening to unreleased rerecords of Motorhead material. If the Jimi Hendrix estate can get away with it, so can these guys.

ROUND TEN: "Long Red" - Leslie West
Original (1969) - Bet none of you expected this for the last song. There are a bunch of Arena Rock songs I could've picked but I feel like we've had enough them so far. Instead, I chose a song that has possibly the biggest gap between rerecords I can find. This song's often attributed to the band Mountain (the band Leslie West would form after this album, also named Mountain) and even though they've played it live, it is a Leslie West song. It's built around a lovely little keyboard riff with acoustic guitar laying down the backing melody. It's a gentle track that deserves a lot more radio play than it's getting.
Rerecord (2013) - Not only does this have a whopping gap of 44 years between recordings but it's probably the only track on here that sounds totally different to the original. Granted it keeps the same structure and you can sort of tell it's still Leslie singing but if you didn't know it was by him, you'd have trouble working out that it was a rerecord. It's slightly heavier/cleaner on each instrument, the vocals are naturally deeper, the guitar riff between verses is played differently, the song fades out on organ instead of guitar and there are more guitar solos throughout. In short, this is probably more of a Rock song than the original.
VERDICT - I love both versions of this track for different reasons but I think I need to go with the Original on this one. It's that song that I fell in love with and to me, it's the delicate tone of that song that works best with the lyrics and music. However, that's not to say Rock covers/rerecords aren't awesome too. If you like the song and Classic Rock, check out Mountain's live version from 1972. Also, check out "Home Is Where I Want To Be" - Mott The Hoople, a song that was almost certainly heavily inspired by this track (further backed up by the fact that a cover of "Long Red" appears on the same album this is from!).


Aaaand it's a tie again! 5 for Originals, 5 for Rerecords. Not that I'm trying to prove one's objectively better than the other, of course. Now it's time for the bit I always include at the end of these posts in the hope that I'll get more feedback: do you agree with this list? Did I miss any famous rerecords or do you have any to recommend? Let me know in the comments and (say it with me now...) via Twitter!

Sunday 15 January 2017

Rock Band 2

First video game related post of the year, yay!
Don't worry though, it's not about game music. If you're familiar with my previous GH/RB posts where I go through the setlist for each game, give the individual tracks a Thumbs Up or Thumbs Down based on my personal enjoyment of the track, how well known or appropriate they are for the game and how fun they are to play on guitar before my final rating at the end, you might want to read some of these blog posts. If not, you can always read the last sentence again until you get the idea.

Before I start, let's briefly recap Rock Band 2. It didn't really do much to shake up the formula but, at the time, it didn't need to. Rock Band was a great success and since GH:WT was only innovating by copying Rock Band's idea, it could focus more on improving the core gameplay with a few minor adjustments here and there for the better. Since it came out in the same year as GH:WT, the soundtracks for both games share quite a few tracks. As a result, I won't be spending too much time talking about those songs here but I'll chat about the guitar charts before giving my verdict. If you want more about my opinions on the following songs:
American Woman - The Guess Who
Everlong - Foo Fighters
Eye Of The Tiger - Survivor
Feel The Pain - Dinosaur Jr.
Float On - Modest Mouse
Go Your Own Way - Fleetwood Mac
Lazy Eye - Silversun Pickups
Livin' On A Prayer - Bon Jovi
The Middle - Jimmy Eat World
Mountain Song - Jane's Addiction
One Way Or Another - Blondie
Our Truth - Lacuna Coil
Ramblin' Man - The Allman Brothers Band
Today - Smashing Pumpkins
Then you'll find what you're after on the Guitar Hero: World Tour discussion.
The main reason I chose to look at Rock Band 2's soundtrack instead of more obvious (or requested) choices like Lego Rock Band, Guitar Hero 2 or Guitar Hero: Metallica is because Rock Band 2 is generally regarded as having the greatest soundtrack not just of the series but quite possibly of the entire rhythm game genre. I want to look at this soundtrack and determine whether it's as strong as fans and critics make out. Plus, the Rock Band 2 export for Rock Band 4 will hopefully be available this month for PS4 gamers in Europe so why not refresh our memories with a look at these tunes.
Now then, let's get started!

"A Jagged Gorgeous Winter" - The Main Drag
I literally couldn't remember anything about this first song before starting research for this post. I envy that version of me. Yeah, this song sucks. The chart's alright if you like strumming but nothing to get excited over, the song itself sounds like something played at a house party in a quirky TV show about cunts we're supposed to find funny and endearing, the rapid strumming section in the middle prevents you from getting an easy FC and it was only included because it's one of the many "Harmonix bands" that are essentially the bonus songs of the game. THUMBS DOWN.

"Ace Of Spades '08" - Motorhead
Great choice! It's the band's most well known song, it's got a decent guitar chart and it's definitely more fun than "Overkill". I'm not sure why they put '08 at the end of the title, since it's not really notable as a rerecord. Aside from a few little changes in the sound and one lyric that's different, you'd be hard pressed to identify differences between this and the original so the '08 seems unnecessary, especially when other rerecords in the Rock Band franchise sound completely different to originals but don't have the date next to them. Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, THUMBS UP.

"Alabama Getaway" - Grateful Dead
I wouldn't call the Grateful Dead much of an 80s band and if I had to pick one of their songs, I'd probably go with something from the 60s or 70s...then again, many of their tracks have been released as Rock Band DLC and this does have a fun guitar chart. Plus, it's a pretty good tune. It definitely belongs in RB in one way or another so THUMBS UP for making the on-disc setlist a little bit better.

"Alex Chilton" - The Replacements
I'm in a bit of an awkward situation as this is pretty damn similar to "A Jagged Gorgeous Winter" with rapid strumming sections and an alright chart if you like strumming but otherwise, not much else to go on. Granted there are a few HOPO bits but at least this song is better than the first one. I love it and I'm surprised that I can't remember it from RB2. THUMBS UP.

"Alive" - Pearl Jam
Fuck yes, THUMBS UP. Awesome riff, great tune that's an iconic Rock track, fucking badass solo at the end, perfect for this game. So good they even released a live version of it as DLC so you can play it twice.

"Almost Easy" - Avenged Sevenfold
I'm not a huge A7X fan but I do like this track. Fun guitar chart, not a lengthy sensitive section in the middle (although there are small sensitive sections in the chorus) and it knows when to end. Good song, great pick for the game. THUMBS UP.

"American Woman" - The Guess Who
If I didn't care for this track in GH:WT then I'm less likely to enjoy it in Rock Band 2. However, it IS a well known Classic Rock track and whilst it's not amazing, there's nothing technically wrong with the guitar chart so it's got to be a THUMBS UP.

"Any Way You Want It" - Journey"
It's a pisser that this song isn't exportable to future RB games but damn, what an awesome chart and track. If you can't remember it that well, it's got two bitching solos and it's the perfect song to fucking rock out to when you're playing alone. However, you've been warned about those solos so don't sleep on it. THUMBS UP.

"Aqualung" - Jethro Tull
I have more fond memories of this track in Rock Band: Unplugged and Guitar Hero: Warriors Of Rock but I can't fault its inclusion here. It's not the most well known Rock track but it's a popular tune from Jethro Tull's collection and it has a fucking great guitar solo. Definitely a THUMBS UP. So far, so good for the RB2 setlist!

"Bad Reputation" - Joan Jett
It's a pretty dull and repetitive guitar chart but as I've said in the past, games need a difficulty curve. Easy songs get a pass as long as they're not poor choices and this track isn't. It's a good little punchy tune and not the obvious pick of "I Love Rock & Roll" that would be included on Rock Band 3 so THUMBS UP. Also something something Shrek is life, YAY I INTERNETTED!

"Battery" - Metallica
Rock Band may have gone with the obvious choice for "Enter Sandman" but Rock Band 2 stepped it up a notch by picking a song for players wanting a challenge on each instrument. Rapid strumming rhythms, tough solos and riffs-a-plenty. THUMBS UP, even though I'll always prefer the GH:M version.

"Bodhisattva" - Steely Dan
Now this is a funny inclusion. It's not a big song for Steely Dan and it's not the kind of tune you'd hear often on Rock radio but what it DOES have going for it is a fucking awesome guitar chart. However, does it belong in the game? I'm going to be a bit more harsh on this one as I've been very generous so far and say no, it's the wrong choice. "Reelin' In The Years" or "Do It Again" would've been more appropriate BUT damn, it's a fun song. I'm going with my heart on this one and saying THUMBS UP for being enjoyable and not a bad song, even if it may have been better suited as DLC like on GH.

"Carry On Wayward Son" - Kansas
Probably one of the most famous Classic Rock songs that's only really become popular within the last decade or so. However, it has a fun guitar chart and it's the master recording so it definitely deserves a place on this game. THUMBS UP.

"Chop Suey!" - System Of A Down
Fuck, I hate this song. Awkward fretting and strumming and a terrible outro to listen to but if you have to include a SOAD song on the game, I suppose this is one of the best choices. "BYOB" in GH:WT may have been more enjoyable and better to listen to but if you want a tough song, this is a fair choice. I want to give it a Thumbs Down for being shit but it has to be THUMBS UP. I'm sure it's enjoyable to play if you can nail that timing window and cool to listen to if you're half deaf.

"Colony Of Birchman" - Mastodon
Do Mastodon fucking suck? I think they fucking suck. They're technically proficient for a mediocre Metal band (well, the ones playing a musical instrument are) but their music is terrible and there are so many better modern Metal bands to choose from for the on-disc setlist. I've yet to hear a single Mastodon song I like and this one comes nowhere close to persuading me, even if the guitar chart is quite fun. If you have a good Mastodon track for me to listen to, feel free to tell me about this unicorn of a song in the comment section. Until then, THUMBS DOWN.

"Come Out And Play (Keep 'Em Separated)" - The Offspring
This song introduced me to The Offspring and goddamn, it was a great song to start with. I love the little Egyptian riff that plays throughout and the chart is relatively fun as well, even if it is easy to choke on. I'd argue that it's a fair choice for the game, even if it's not the band's biggest hit. It probably could've worked as DLC but to be honest, most tracks from The Offspring work as on-disc and DLC choices. THUMBS UP.

"Conventional Lover" - Speck
Another Harmonix band/bonus song. Fortunately, this is much better than the first. It's a cute little love song with an average chart but if you really like the song, you'll enjoy playing it. I love this track and I'm glad it was included. Besides, it would be ruined with a furious or even challenging solo. THUMBS UP.

"Cool For Cats" - Squeeze
I like this song but goddamn, what a boring chart. It's probably one of the most well known songs by this band and if they needed a popular tune with an easy chart to balance out the difficulty curve, I can understand this being picked. However, if you want a fun Squeeze song that would also be relatively low down on the difficulty curve, "Another Nail In My Heart" would've been better. This track would've worked more in RB3 with Keys and Pro-Guitar. Sorry but it's a THUMBS DOWN.

"De-Luxe" - Lush
Never heard of this song or band until Rock Band: Unplugged but I'm glad I did...hear it, that is. It's a weird tune and if memory serves, a bit of a repetitive guitar chart, but I like listening to it. However, I don't think it's a great choice for the game. Unfortunately, I can't tell you a better one by this band but if you want a 90s Alternative track, there are fucking dozens to pick. Collective Soul, Manic Street Preachers, R.E.M, etc. I'm torn on this one as I do like it but feel like it shouldn't be on-disc. Maybe on-disc for Rock Band: Unplugged but DLC for RB2. THUMBS DOWN, I'm afraid.

"Down With The Sickness" - Disturbed
Pretty solid choice for Disturbed and a decent guitar chart too. Of all the Nu-Metal songs they could've picked, I'm glad Disturbed got some love in the form of a track built around an epic riff and cool vocals, usually two elements that are completely absent from the genre. THUMBS UP.

"Drain You" - Nirvana
Not the best Nirvana choice by any stretch, even if you're just trying to balance the difficulty out. Dull, repetitive, moany, weak. Something like "Come As You Are" or "Lithium" would've been better from the Nevermind album, or even a B-side like "Aneurysm". Then again, I think there were licensing issues with Nirvana that didn't get sorted out until 2009 but all the same, it's a THUMBS DOWN.

"E-Pro" - Beck
OK, this song has one thing going for it. An epic fucking riff. That's it, strip the badass riff away and you've got nothing. That being said, this is probably a track for vocalists and beginner drummers/guitarists. Yeah, this one gets a pass from me. It's fairly well known in Beck's collection and worthy of a place, although "Loser" still needs to appear in Rock Band. THUMBS UP.

"Everlong" - Foo Fighters
Jesus, this fucking track. At least the guitar chart is more challenging than the Guitar Hero one so it's a better inclusion on RB2 than on GH:WT. However, considering the album this was from was released as DLC for RB after the game's release, a track like "Monkey Wrench" or maybe even "My Hero" would've been better as a well known Foo Fighters song. I would've personally preferred the former but hey, we're talking in hypotheticals here. THUMBS DOWN.

"Eye Of The Tiger" - Survivor
Definitely worth a place for the song alone but how does the guitar chart fare against the GH:WT version? Six of one, half a dozen of the other, if I'm honest. The chords could've been three-note chords to make it feel more epic but other than that, it's just strumming and they got that right. THUMBS UP.

"Feel The Pain" - Dinosaur Jr.
I gave this track a pass in GH:WT for having a chart that didn't suck and being alright to listen to. The chart's still good here and even though I'm not a huge fan of the song, it probably works better in this game than GH:WT. THUMBS UP.

"Float On" - Modest Mouse
Echoing my sentiments from the GH:WT post, this song and chart are still a dull ballache. THUMBS DOWN.

"Get Clean" - Anarchy Club
Pretty fun on guitar, if I recall correctly. It might not be the nicest song to listen to (Harmonix bands vary from cool to shite with very little wiggle room in the middle) but guitarists have a lot to get stuck into here. A solid choice to fill up disc space after blowing all their licensing money on the myriad of awesome bands in this setlist. THUMBS UP.

"Girl's Not Grey" - AFI
I love this song despite not caring an awful lot for AFI. However, I have to say the GH5 DLC chart was more fun. It's still cool to listen to but I remember hating this chart when I first played it, even if it is fairly similar. Ah well, THUMBS UP for picking a good Emo track.

"Give It All" - Rise Against
Well, you've got to include Rise Against if you want people to like your game. I've no fucking idea why, it just seems people like this band a lot. It's not my favourite Rise Against track and I recall the GH:WT choice being more fun so it's a THUMBS DOWN. Hell, I could've awarded it that for the rusty screaming alone.

"Give It Away" - Red Hot Chili Peppers
Oh fuck, why this track? WHY of all the RHCP songs do you pick one of their shitty Funk Rock numbers? Again, Blood Sugar Sex Magik was released as album DLC so "Under The Bridge" or "Suck My Kiss" would've been better, even if this is one of their better known songs. At least those two don't suck ass. THUMBS DOWN.

"Go Your Own Way" - Fleetwood Mac
Not much to compare chart-wise as this isn't a guitar-heavy song until the end solo. It belongs on RB2 more than GH:WT and it is a well known song. Even if I can't get into this track as much as I'd like to, it deserves a THUMBS UP for being a good choice for this game and not completely boring on guitar.

"Hello There" - Cheap Trick
An interesting choice for the band. Not much to say about the guitar but it is less than two minutes long so you shouldn't expect much, just a kickass Rock tune. What's interesting is that Harmonix got a rerecord of this track designed to sound heavier and dear God, I'm glad they did. I'll have to seek out the heavier version of this album that Cheap Trick recorded, as In Color is a good record but I imagine so much better with a bit of oomph! As for Cheap Trick songs worthy of an on-disc placement, there are several better choices but this track gets a THUMBS UP just for the opening cinematic of RB2 alone.

"Hungry Like The Wolf" - Duran Duran
This song's grown on me over time so I'll probably appreciate playing it more now, even if GH5 has it too. If I remember correctly, this chart is a bit more fun than the GH version so it's a THUMBS UP, although the fact that it's a popular 80s hit and the best Duran Duran choice they could've gone for as an on-disc tune also contribute to that decision.

"I Was Wrong" - Social Distortion
A solid warm-up song for the game's difficulty curve and an OK 90s Rock track, even if it is kind of dull on guitar. I probably would've preferred a slightly more challenging Social Distortion song like "Ball & Chain" but it's still a good tune. However, I feel like we've had enough easy songs for me to start paying less attention to the difficulty curve when giving verdicts so it's a THUMBS DOWN for this one. A good choice for Rock Band: Unplugged, a meh choice for RB2.

"Kids In America" - The Muffs
I definitely prefer listening to the original version of this but I'm almost certain they picked this cover because it's more fun to play on guitar. It's also a pretty faithful cover version and more of a Rock track than Kim Wilde's Pop version. THUMBS UP for picking a great song and a creative cover.

"Lazy Eye" - Silversun Pickups
I still find this song intensely boring and couldn't give too much of a fuck about the chart. I was generous with my Thumbs Up for GH:WT but I won't be here. The standard's been set pretty damn high so far and this brings everything down; therefore, THUMBS DOWN.

"Let There Be Rock" - AC/DC
Damn, they managed to get an AC/DC master recording. Even if it's not the best choice, that's got to be applauded. Most of you will probably claim "Highway To Hell" or "Back In Black" should've been picked but chances are that would've wiped out most of the game's budget before they even started. Personally, I would've fought for "Riff Raff" for having what I imagine would be a fucking awesomely tough guitar chart, instead of this one which is just strumming and waiting. Awesome song though and again, it is an impressive net. THUMBS UP.

"Livin' On A Prayer" - Bon Jovi
This may have been the logical choice for GH:WT but considering RB's had "Wanted Dead Or Alive" already, it feels like a step backwards for Bon Jovi tunes. It's his signature song but it's also pretty dull on guitar, especially when you factor in that the outro solo isn't on this version. THUMBS DOWN.

"Lump" - The Presidents Of The United States Of America
I remember having to play this song way more than I wanted to on RB2 due to the career mode so I have a natural hatred for it. It's an average Alternative Rock song but I'm guessing a suitable choice from the band? I have no idea what their signature song is and I'm assuming this is a big hit for them, otherwise it would have literally no reason to belong in the game. THUMBS DOWN.

"Man In The Box" - Alice In Chains
I can't listen to this song normally anymore, not after hearing it 25% faster. It sounds SO MUCH BETTER sped up but still, the guitar chart's quite fun and it's a well known tune by the band. THUMBS UP despite sounding like Alice In Chains.

"Master Exploder" - Tenacious D
Hell. Fucking. Yes. Love this song, love this chart, love the fact that Harmonix went for the fun Tenacious D pick over one of their singles from the album like "P.O.D". THUMBS UP.

"The Middle" - Jimmy Eat World
The chart appears to be similar to the GH:WT version, although if I remember playing it correctly, it was a little bit harder. Not in a fun, challenging way, just due to the charting of the chords and HOPOs in the solo. It might not be as fun as it was on GH:WT but I still stand by my argument for it being a good choice in either game. THUMBS UP.

"Mountain Song" - Jane's Addiction
Yup, this chart's still made of turds and...hold on, let me check...yyyup, the song still sucks. THUMBS DOWN.

"My Own Worst Enemy" - Lit
Oh God, this song just screams "YOUNG ANGST". It might not have a great guitar chart but I do have fond memories of watching Chris Pratt singing this song WHILST playing Rock Band 2 on an early episode of Parks And Recreation. That scene never would've happened if not for this song's inclusion on-disc. Meh, can't say I'd miss it. It probably would've been just as funny if it was another generic Rock song from the 90s/00s like "All Star" - Smash Mouth. I probably would've preferred that song too. THUMBS DOWN.

"New Kid In School" - The Donnas
I enjoyed this one a lot and it's a pisser that it's not on Spotify, for some reason. Decent Rock song, pretty fun chart if I remember correctly and no reason for it not to be on the game aside from "it's not an award winning mega platinum single", but that's not the be all and end all. THUMBS UP.

"Night Lies" - Bang Camaro
Couldn't remember this song until I listened to it and watched the chart...even then, I couldn't remember playing it. Sounds like the best song KISS never recorded and the guitar chart's not bad too; it's even got a challenging second solo that isn't recognised as a solo for some reason. Definitely a strong Harmonix pick. THUMBS UP.

"Nine In The Afternoon" - Panic! At The Disco
Oh goody, a crappy angsty teen "Rock" song by Fake-Fall Out Boy that's trying to be ELO. This song can fuck right off with a rigid THUMBS DOWN.

"One Step Closer" - Linkin Park
I was wondering where all the crappy songs were hiding, since this soundtrack seemed too awesome to be true. Admittedly, this isn't the worst Linkin Park song I've heard but I still dislike it. At least it doesn't have fucking rapping in it, just angsty yelling and mediocre riffs. If you have to pick a Linkin Park song, I suppose they could've chosen worse for the game. Then again, they could've just not included Linkin Park. Therefore, THUMBS DOWN.

"One Way Or Another" - Blondie
Believe it or not, the Rock Band guitar chart is actually more fun than the Guitar Hero one! I know, it's a miracle! For that reason and all the reasons I praised this track for in the GH:WT post, it gets a THUMBS UP.

"Our Truth" - Lacuna Coil
Normality has been restored. This chart is DEFINITELY less fun than the GH:WT one. Without the fun guitar, this is just another whiny Nu-Metal track which deserves a THUMBS DOWN.

"Painkiller" - Judas Priest
The final boss of the game. Judas Priest have been funny with music licensing ever since 2009 so I'm glad they managed to get an awesome chart out of this fucking great track before GH:VH ruined it. It's not the hardest track Rock Band has ever produced (it's not even the hardest track in the game) but if you can nail those solos, you're in for a treat. Definitely a THUMBS UP!

"Panic Attack" - Dream Theater
I remember not caring for this song when I played it on Rock Band 2 but since then, I've come to appreciate it. It's more challenging/fun on guitar than "Pull Me Under" in GH:WT although I still don't think it's the best Dream Theater track they could've picked. "Constant Motion" as DLC would've been good too but this song does its job. It's Prog Metal with challenging guitar. THUMBS UP.

"PDA" - Interpol
Who the fuck are these guys? Are they the American version of all those shitty Indie/Alternative bands we had in the UK around the second half of the 00s? Anyway, this song's dull, even for generic RB charts. I'm not even sure it's a popular song that would deserve a spot on-disc. THUMBS DOWN.

"Peace Sells" - Megadeth
Yep, this is more like it. Popular Metal song from the 80s with an awesome guitar chart, arguably more awesome than the GH chart when it was released as DLC. This might actually be the only game with a Metallica song and a Megadeth song on the same setlist (I'm not counting their cover of "Paranoid" on GH:WOR) so that's kind of cool. THUMBS UP for being exactly the kind of track GH/RB should be putting on-disc!

"Pinball Wizard" - The Who
I love The Who but bloody hate this song. When the guitar chart isn't annoying, it's boring and since it's part of a Rock opera, it has a really shit structure. Notice how it just kind of tapers off and doesn't really end properly? Plus, that key change sucks. It might be a popular song by the band but it should've been DLC with those other Who songs. There are plenty of better tracks by this band for the on-disc setlist so it has to be a THUMBS DOWN.

"Pretend We're Dead" - L7
OK, I guess this is a song on-disc then. Nah, it's alright. Nothing special and I probably would've preferred "Wargasm" over this but L7 is L7. It's this game's "I Think I'm Paranoid", isn't it? I prefer that track but don't really hate this one. THUMBS UP for not being as bad as tracks like "PDA" or "Drain You".

"Psycho Killer" - Talking Heads
I probably wouldn't have pegged this as an on-disc song for RB but hey, it's not bad. Decent guitar chart apart from the ending solo and it's a fairly well known song. I guess it works on this game although I can't say I'd miss it if it were replaced with another song from a similar genre. On that basis, I suppose I should give it a THUMBS DOWN really.

"Pump It Up" - Elvis Costello
I feel the same about this track too, although a) the song is a lot better and b) the chart is a lot, lot worse. Probably a song for vocalists and maybe bassists but definitely not one for guitarists. We haven't had too many decent easy tracks recently so I'll give this a THUMBS UP for serving some purpose and not being as bad as other easy modern tunes.

"Ramblin' Man" - The Allman Brothers Band
Interesting how this song has the same solos as the GH:WT one, even though both are different from the album version. What's also interesting is that this chart is a lot harder on guitar, although still relatively easy compared to other challenging ones on this list. Fortunately, solos are still fun so it's easily a THUMBS UP.

"Rebel Girl" - Bikini Kill
Eww, female Punk. Ew, ew, EEWWWW! Oh God, some of it landed in my ears, fucking GROSS! This song wants to be "Cherry Bomb" so bad, it's almost funny. Almost. THUMBS DOWN.

"Rob The Prez-O-Dent" - That Handsome Devil
This song's definitely...something. It's a bit kooky and wacky but damn, it's got a fun guitar chart. Another winner from Harmonix bands! THUMBS UP.

"Rock 'n Me" - Steve Miller Band
I quite like this song but fuck me, I absolutely despise this chart. I'm guessing Harmonix don't like the Steve Miller Band very much as they always give them horrible guitar charts compared to GH ones. I would've preferred something like "Jet Airliner", "Living In The USA" or fucking anything instead of this. Shame, this chart probably could've been good. THUMBS DOWN.

"Round And Round" - Ratt
Surprised this song made the game, as Rock Band usually doesn't have much in the way of Hair Metal on-disc. It's Ratt's most well known song and it's fairly well known as far as Rock and Hair Metal goes so I suppose it isn't out of place here. At least it's still fun, even if I prefer the GH chart for timing the guitar chords to the chorus. THUMBS UP.

"Shackler's Revenge" - Guns N' Roses
"Hey, there's a Guns N' Roses song in Rock Band 2!"
"Cool, which one? "Paradise City"? "Sweet Child O' Mine"?"
"Nah, nothing off Appetite".
"Oh, maybe "November Rain"?"
"Nope, it's one off Chinese Democracy!"
"You mean Axl and Friends?"
"Yeah! Excited?"
"Nope. I'd rather shit in my hands and clap".
THUMBS DOWN.

"Shooting Star" - Bad Company
Probably not my first choice for Bad Company tracks but goddamn, I'm glad this is playable in Rock Band. It's a lovely song and quite fun on guitar if you don't mind easy going songs. THUMBS UP for introducing people to this brilliant tune.

"Shoulder To The Plow" - Breaking Wheel
Can't say I like the song but the guitar chart's pretty fun if you're up for a challenge. However, as I've mentioned before, this game is chock full of awesome guitar charts which means a HOPO fest is nothing new at this point. What stands out in this setlist is a good song with an awesome guitar chart and making someone listen to this just so they can play a fun chart seems cruel, like offering poor kids chocolate that you've wiped on the floor first. THUMBS DOWN.

"So What'cha Want" - Beastie Boys
Fun fact: this song samples "E-Pro"! Another fun fact: this song sucks total dick. No reason for the Beastie Boys to be in RB/GH at all if "Sabotage" has already been covered. I mean, I suppose "Fight For Your Right" would work but is this song "Fight For Your Right"? Exactly. THUMBS DOWN.

"Souls Of Black" - Testament
Ooooh, dat bass though. Guitar's pretty sweet too, even if this song isn't really a Metal hit. It's still from one of Testament's best albums so it works for me! THUMBS UP.

"Spirit In The Sky" - Norman Greenbaum
I may slowly dislike this song a little more with each listen but I can't deny that it's a solid pick for Rock Band. It's well known, it's got a decent guitar chart and it's even got guitar solos...well, if you can call them solos. A good song for beginners. THUMBS UP.

"Spoonman" - Soundgarden
A vast improvement over "Black Hole Sun" from Rock Band. Fun riffs throughout and a challenging solo to sink your teeth into. Plus vocals, bass and drums sound pretty fun to play as well. THUMBS UP for being a well known track by a big band that's fun to play on each instrument (I'm assuming)!

"Supreme Girl" - The Sterns
Couldn't remember this song either. Listening to it again, it sounds alright and I'm pretty sure if I hated the guitar chart, it would've stuck in my memory like some of these songs. For not sucking, it gets a THUMBS UP.

"Tangled Up In Blue" - Bob Dylan
Seems neither GH or RB can pick the right Bob Dylan song. This might be nice to listen to but it's a right ballache to play on account of the lengthy and repetitive nature of the song. If this was "Knockin' On Heaven's Door", I would've been a lot more positive about Bob Dylan in a music game but since it's not, it gets a big ol' THUMBS DOWN.

"Teen Age Riot" - Sonic Youth
I think this was one of the last songs I played in the game. I remember getting a very big score and playing chords and chords and chords and chords and chords and chords and chords and chords and FUCKING HELL, WHEN WILL IT END?! That's basically how it felt to play this track. THUMBS DOWN.

"Testify" - Rage Against The Machine
Seriously? Is GH2 the only game that knew how to pick a good RATM song? I would've taken "Guerrilla Radio" or one of the many great tracks on their debut over this generic crap. Whilst RATM might fit in well with the game's soundtrack, this song is a poor choice and for that reason, it's a THUMBS DOWN.

"That's What You Get" - Paramore
OMG, HIGH SCHOOL IS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HARRRRRD!! GH:WT definitely picked the better song, although I wouldn't have had a problem with "Crushcrushcrush" being picked either. THUMBS DOWN for angsty wank, which would've been a good band name for these guys if Paramore was taken.

"Today" - The Smashing Pumpkins
Of all the songs from Siamese Dream, this is the one that's picked on both games. Alright then. At least this chart seems a bit more fun than the GH:WT one but that's not really saying much, seeing as how both charts are fucking dull. THUMBS DOWN.

"The Trees" - Rush
Fun guitar if you can tolerate the shitty lyrics and even though a lot of Rush tracks have been made into DLC over the years, I don't really have a problem with this one being on-disc. I mean, there are still WAY better Rush songs out there that have yet to appear on RB but I don't feel like I've been robbed. This is Rush through and through so it gets a THUMBS UP.

"Uncontrollable Urge" - Devo
More New Wave? More New Wave! Not only that but it's New Wave with decent guitar and wacky vocals, which is probably at least 30% of New Wave. Can't say there's a better Devo song for the game as "Whip It" may be more well known but it's definitely not as fun. Solid pick. THUMBS UP.

"Visions" - Abnormality
THUMBS DOWN. Nothing else to say, otherwise I might end up crying fully clothed in the shower.

"We Got The Beat" - The Go-Gos
Another beginner's song on guitar. This song belongs on Rock Band 2 more than it did on Guitar Hero Encore: Rock The 80s, that's for sure. An easy song to get through as it's only two and a half minutes long so yeah, might as well give it a THUMBS UP and not draw attention to the fact that I actually quite like it.

"Welcome To The Neighborhood" - Libyans
This and "Visions" were the two reasons I didn't get all stars on the Endless Setlist 2. It's got an annoying guitar chart and it's generally just cruddy Punk by another Harmonix band. Fuck this song, fuck this inclusion and fucking fuck. THUMBS DOWN.

"Where'd You Go" - The Mighty Mighty Bosstones
At the time, I would've preferred "The Impression That I Get" but since that's on Rock Band 4 (and Band Hero), I have no issue with this track being on-disc. Just a harmless bit of Ska-Punk to mix things up and, if I recall, the guitar isn't too bad. Maybe that's just because I sort of like the track but it's still getting a THUMBS UP.

"White Wedding (Part 1)" - Billy Idol
That intro strumming section may have fucked me up when I first played this but at least the rest of the song rocks. Definitely Billy's most well known hit and even if "Rebel Yell" has the better chart, I can't argue with this being on-disc. THUMBS UP.

"You Oughta Know" - Alanis Morissette
The last song in the game and it's not "Ironic". Instead, it's one of the other popular songs off the same album. Funny how we started with "A Jagged Gorgeous Winter" and ended with something off Jagged Little Pill...well, I think so anyway. I would've swapped this song with "Ironic" but other than that, it's OK. Can't say I'd miss it if it were removed so it's a THUMBS DOWN for Alanis.


The ratings are in and it's 50 Thumbs Up to 34 Thumbs Down. That does mean that on the whole, I personally preferred Guitar Hero: World Tour's setlist more than this one, although some of the Thumbs Down choices in this list could've gone either way. Chances are if I went through each song and chart methodically, I'd probably come to the conclusion that both soundtracks are as good as each other, although there are definitely plenty of awesome songs in this game.
So what did we learn? Absolutely naff all. See you next week!

Saturday 14 January 2017

Tenology: Massive Morellos/MacArthur Parks In Rock/Metal

I'm back! Apologies for the delay in posting but I needed more time to put this list together.
If you're confused by what I mean when I say "Massive Morello/MacArthur Park", you clearly haven't read my Rock Glossary or Absolute Axls blog posts. No worries though, I've got you covered!
A MacArthur Park (or Morello) is a fantastically brilliant factor of a song that stops it from being terrible. For example, the song could have dire lyrics, a boring riff, mediocre performances and go on for seven minutes...BUT at the six minute mark, there's an absolutely amazing guitar solo that blows everything else away and makes the song worth listening to. That right there is a MacArthur Park/Morello!
Anyway, to celebrate what I hope to fucking God is going to be a more positive year than 2016, I've decided to open with a blog post about 10 rubbish songs with one awesome thing about them that stops the songs from being made of absolute suck. Obviously this post is going to be a little divisive with my definitions of what makes a song suck so I tried to choose a mix of tracks that I personally dislike and tracks that are renowned for being hated or disliked by band members and/or the Rock community. I've also tried to find ten different types of MacArthur Park/Morello so it's not just a blog post of eight amazing solos and a couple of great riffs.
Right then, let's get some positivity up in here!


1. "Bawitdaba" - Kid Rock

MaP/M: Verse

To think, without this song he may never have had the chance to coast off Warren Zevon & Lynyrd Skynyrd

Kicking this list off is an artist whom many Rock, Metal, Rap and even just general audio fans despise. Aside from being a Trump supporter and, by extension, a massive asshole, his music is fucking terrible. This song helped shoot him into the mainstream with its combination of Hip Hop and Metal elements that at the time was amazing and not at all tacky like we've come to realise it is now. So what possible factor could redeem this song with a chorus spouting nonsensical lyrics and shitty riffs? In my opinion, the music in the verse.
You'll probably hear me use this argument quite a few times in this post because it's the only way I can really drive it home but if you plucked the guitar and bass riffs from the verses in this song and placed them into a different 90s Metal track with a more talented songwriter/vocalist, they'd sound pretty awesome. I wouldn't call this a good song but at least I don't hate it during those brief moments between diggy-diggy sessions.


2. "Maggie May" - Rod Stewart

MaP/M: Intro up until vocals

Once you get past the album cover, it's actually a pretty good record

Definitely a personal entry on this list. I've always hated this song but never exactly known why, although if I had to pinpoint reasons then I'd probably go with Rod. I can't stand his vocals in this (and more or less every other song he's done) and as soon as he sings "Wake up Maggie", I feel like shutting it off immediately. That being said, if you listen to the album version then you'll hear a lovely little acoustic introduction shortly before the main riff starts. That alone gives me some pleasure when I hear this song now and then but as soon as it gets to the 46 second mark, I'm done.
I suppose the melody throughout the rest of the song isn't bad but when you compare this to "You Wear It Well", a much better Rod Stewart song with softer vocals and better lyrics that sounds incredibly similar, this track has nothing but a lovely introduction to keep me enticed. Granted this song came out first but since they were only about a year apart, this feels more like a fleshed out demo for "You Wear It Well" than a song that deserves acclaim...but that's just my opinion.


3. "Shiny Happy People" - R.E.M.

MaP/M: Main riff

Cards on the table, I don't think this is that bad of a song

This song has pretty much been disowned by the band and if they hadn't included it on a compilation from a few years ago, I'd say that they wanted to bury it. It's basically their "Smells Like Teen Spirit"; a popular song that doesn't truly represent their overall sound or image. Whilst it might not be as bad as some of the entries on this list, I'm guessing that hardcore R.E.M. fans hate it as much as Michael Stipe for the same reasons and when it comes from the same album as "Losing My Religion", it's not going to make any respectable "Best Songs Of 1991" list.
However, you can't argue that this song is based around a pretty solid riff. In fact, no, not "pretty solid". It's a damn good one! Take this riff, swap it with the one for "Pop Song 89", tweak the key & tempo of each song a bit and they'd both still work. It's the rest of the song that lets itself down but it's also this riff that makes "Shiny Happy People" an OK track.


4. "Cemetery Gates" - Pantera

MaP/M: Vinnie Paul

Wish me luck with explaining this one, folks

If you hadn't twigged it by now, I'm alternating between unpopular songs and personal choices so don't bother telling me that "Cemetery Gates" is a fan favourite and one of the best songs off Cowboys From Hell. I used to quite like this song but after multiple listens, I think I fucking hate it now. The chorus riff sounds absolutely pissawful, the vocals aren't much to be desired (with each "GAAAAIIIIIIITES" in the outro, a child in Malaysia dies) and to me, it sounds like Pantera trying to have their own "Fade To Black" moment. I would call it an utter write-off except I can't help but enjoy the few moments in the song when the tempo picks up a bit and the drumming makes everything else work.
I'm not usually a fan of the percussion and playing style in Pantera songs but it's easily the highlight of this song for me. Yes, it has a solid solo and yes, the intro melody is alright but without the rhythm, this would be just another poor Metal power ballad. I suppose this song shouldn't really be here if the drumming isn't the only positive factor but in my eyes, it's the only thing in this song that makes it avoid the pit of turds that practically every other Pantera track falls into.


5. "Rockstar" - Nickelback

MaP/M: Lyrics

Took me four songs before I got Nickelback, must be some kind of record

Ahh Nickelback, the Internet's favourite musical whipping boy. We've reached the point now where some people are starting to argue that Nickelback don't actually suck that much and if you want to know my opinion, it's this; they're a bit crap. I like some tracks like "When We Stand Together" and "Burn It To The Ground" but for the most part, their songs are generic Rock for teenage girls and other people who don't really get what Rock's about. One of their most popular songs is "Rockstar" and whilst it made a big splash when it first came out, people now use this as a reason for hating Nickelback along with their other signature songs "How You Remind Me" and "Photograph".
I'm ashamed to admit that I was one of those people who got caught up in this song when it first came out but now that I've listened to actual Rock music in more detail, I can't say I'm a fan. What I will say is that the lyrics are still the song's best attribute as it goes through all the tropes and stereotypes of being a brash Rock star who wants it all whilst conveying the laid-back mood of the character telling us about his ambitions. You can argue that they're not the best lyrics of the genre or even year but that's not what I'm saying; the lyrics work for the song, they're enjoyable to listen to if you can look past the fact that it's Nickelback behind them and most importantly, they're not bad.


6. "Pretty Fly (For A White Guy)" - The Offspring

MaP/M: Chorus

Boy, the 90s are taking a fucking pounding in this post

I like The Offspring but goddamn, this song sucks. From the "Rock Of Ages" lift at the start to the gratuitous use of "Give it to me baby!" throughout, this track should cause each member of the band embarrassment every time they hear it, and keep in mind The Offspring have released songs like "Don't Pick It Up" in the past. Fortunately, the chorus makes up for the rest of the song.
The guitar riffs and vocals are classic Offspring material that pisses all over everything else this song has to offer and the acid test of whether the MacArthur Park/Morello works just as well in another song without the smell of this one lingering around pays off too; imagine this chorus with "Come Out And Play" off Smash which shouldn't be too hard as the verses for both tracks are basically the same, only this one's worse. It's a shame this song is one of the band's more popular tunes but thankfully, it's also a laughably terrible tune that stains the 90s Pop Punk genre. Yep, it's fucking bad even by those standards.


7. "Rollin' (Air Raid Vehicle)" - Limp Bizkit

MaP/M: "Keep rollin', rollin', rollin', rollin'"

I can feel myself getting dumber as I listen to this song for research purposes

Talking about how crap this Nu-Metal song from 2000 is ad nauseam would be like ranting about the weak quality of a blind man's round on Draw Something so I'll just say this: it sounds worse than the band's name and album's name combined into one glorious fucking tumour of a title. I think anyone with ears and clothes that fit them will agree when I say Limp Bizkit deserves to be wiped off the surface of history like an accidental drop of snot that lands on the back of your hand when you sigh but if I could salvage one contribution of theirs before going back in time and giving Fred Durst's mum a condom (or copy of this album, which is probably a more reliable contraceptive), it'd be the use of the word "rolling".
Some critics and bloggers argue that it's that word repeated during the chorus that makes this song so unbearable but I'd claim it's the exact opposite. Everything in this song is bad except "keep rollin', rollin', rollin', rollin'" which could work in a modern Metal track. Don't believe me? Listen to 10 seconds of this song from 2:55 to 3:05 when it's just those words without music; doesn't sound as bad, right? I mean, it's hardly the "Shiny Happy People" riff but that'd be the one Limp Bizkit possession I'd save from a burning building...that I intentionally set ablaze with oil and hellfire.


8. "Space Oddity" - David Bowie

MaP/M: Bridge

Aaaaaaand we're back to my unpopular opinions

I don't care about how he was so fucking ahead of his time or how amazing of a human being he was, I fucking despise this song. It's so fucking dreary and overplayed, everyone seems to cum in their drawers every time they hear the first couple of lines and the rest of the song gets even fucking worse. It's like listening to someone slowly reading song lyrics, that's how fucking boring it is. Compare it to something like "Rocket Man" - Elton John, another slow Rock song about the isolation of space travel, and it might as well be an experimental B-side.
The only thing I look forward to when I'm forced to listen to this (which isn't often but not an impossibility) is a certain guitar riff that plays twice during the song. It only lasts six seconds and it can be heard at 2:37 and 4:09. It sounds like something that would play just before a song increases the tempo, gets going and becomes interesting. What happens in this track? Oh, it's just more of the same trippy shit, hooray! You could probably get a good couple of minutes out of that riff during the bridge if they added more drums, maybe a guitar solo and changed the entire structure of the song. If that happened, this song wouldn't be on this list and David Bowie probably wouldn't have been the visionary musician everyone saw him as. When you put it like that, I guess it's a fair trade.


9. "Hotel California" - Eagles

MaP/M: Solo

Yeah, I thought this song was well loved too

After doing some research into "bad Rock songs", I came to a startling conclusion; people really don't like the Eagles. I've known that they're not everyone's favourite band (especially not The Dude's) but judging by the hatred for this band's back catalogue and this song in particular, it would seem that the Eagles were basically the Nickelback of the 70s. Whilst there are several Eagles songs I really enjoy listening to, I can't deny that I fucking hate their most famous song and thankfully, so do several critics/bloggers.
I've talked about it on this blog before but in short, it's basically what I imagine growing old would sound like if you could convert it into an .mp3 file. That being said, it's known for having a great guitar solo at the end and whilst it's not on my top 10 or even 20 list of amazing solos, I can't deny that it is a fine piece of guitarwork. It makes the previous four minutes almost worth listening to although another way of making this song bearable is by speeding it up 25%. Trust me, it sounds better.


10. "We Built This City" - Starship

MaP/M: Vocal solo

Someone needs to remind these guys that they're not Genesis

The final song on this list is quite possibly the single-most hated Rock song from the 20th century. Even Grace Slick, vocalist on the song, has tried to distance herself from it and people have written entire essays dedicated entirely to why this song is terrible. Despite this negative press, I still think the song's alright. It's not something I'd choose to listen to but I can tolerate it when it's on, even if it's musically simplistic and lacking in the lyrics department.
It's hard to pinpoint one great moment from a bad song that you generally like but the part of "We Built This City" that I actually enjoy listening to is the small vocal solo towards the end that's read by a news anchor. It's insignificant and easily forgettable but the quick delivery of the vocals and way it fits in with the music makes it a highlight for me. Everything else in this song is average to rubbish but hey, I wouldn't call it the worst song in Rock.


Did you agree with my choices? Are there other terrible songs with redeeming factors or am I being too fair on some of these tracks? Let me know in the comments or via Twitter and hopefully this positive post will help create a great year...or not...probably not.