Rapid Fire: Scorpions, Testament, White Wizzard

Our final post of the month is a quick look at three albums released across different decades that all share at least one common factor. In this case, it's striking album artwork and what better genre to represent high quality album art than Heavy Metal.
The first album comes from a band known for controversial album artwork that often had to be replaced by a less offensive images. That's right, it's NOT Cannibal Corpse because fuck them. It's Scorpions.


1. Blackout - Scorpions

Of all the classic Scorpions albums I've listened to, this is probably my favourite. It also has the best album artwork with Lovedrive coming in at a close second. Anyway, when it comes to Heavy Metal from the 70s, Scorpions are arguably the gold standard. The perfect blend of Klaus Meine's vocals, guitar from one of the Schenkers and percussion from [INSERT DRUMMER HERE] (although Herman Rarebell's work on this album is a highlight) result in a sound that sounds a little more aggressive than typical Hard Rock but not quite as furious as 80s Metal; this is apparent from album opener and title track "Blackout", a fan favourite containing great riffs, a catchy chorus and an outro that maybe could've done without the scream.
From here, the album gives us a healthy variety of commercially oriented Pop Metal ("No One Like You"), slower power ballads that still rock ("When The Smoke Is Going Down"), chugging Heavy Metal ("China White") and fast paced bangers ("Dynamite"). This album has a good hit-shit ratio but the variety does mean fans of faster Heavy Metal might get a little bored during the more casual tracks like "Arizona". Likewise, listeners who want something to chill out to should probably find a different album (or genre) due to songs like "Now!" appearing and shaking you awake.
This album is an all-rounder and definitely a classic that I'd recommend to fans of the genre  although it takes its strongest step in the first half. The latter half is made up of deep cuts and afterthoughts that likely won't win anyone over if they hadn't heard any of the album's main singles that all happen to come from the first half. Blackout isn't the best Heavy Metal album in existence but it's certainly a strong contender for one of Scorpions' finest records; definitely one of the best out of their golden years (Virgin Killer to Savage Amusement).

1. Blackout

2. Can't Live Without You

3. No One Like You

4. You Give Me All I Need

5. Now!

6. Dynamite

7. Arizona

8. China White

9. When The Smoke Is Going Down

ALBUM RATING - 7/10

Next up is an album from 1990, the last year of the truly great Heavy Metal album.

2. Souls Of Black - Testament

When choosing music for this post, it was between this album and Spreading The Disease - Anthrax but in the end, I went with Testament because I've already talked about Anthrax in a Rapid Fire post. Besides, this album needs addressing. First off, we have a fucking great album cover. Along with Spreading The Disease and Peace Sells...But Who's Buying?, it's artwork that I could get lost in and catches your eye when browsing the Metal section of your record store. Then we have the album opener "Face In The Sky" after acoustic intro "Beginning Of The End". Both tracks do a great job of creating atmosphere before giving you some damn fine Thrash Metal to get stuck into.

The album contains some exceptional material that could easily go toe to toe with some of Thrash Metal's finest moments but unfortunately, there's one glaring fault that prevents Souls Of Black from being a shining star: the godawful, horrifically flat mix. When all's said and done, you can compare Souls Of Black to other Metal albums released in the same year like Rust In Peace and Painkiller and the difference in audio quality is night and day. Producer Michael Rosen should be fucking ashamed for ruining what could've been a damn near perfect record, although the producer credits also list Testament as producing so the fault could lie with them too.

Either way, there are a lot of great songs here that are sullied by the terrible mix (as proven by the far superior rerecording of "Souls Of Black" used in Rock Band 2) but if you can get past that, there are plenty of jewels to be found in this trash can. Even when the tracks slow down to take a breather, they still maintain the raw aggression and awesome riffs needed for top notch Thrash. Maybe one day the entire album will get the rerecording treatment instead of just the title track but until then, I guess we'll have to make do with this swing and a miss.

1. Beginning Of The End

2. Face In The Sky

3. Falling Fast

4. Souls Of Black

5. Absence Of Light

6. Love To Hate

7. Malpractice

8. One Man's Fate

9. The Legacy

10. Seven Days Of May

ALBUM RATING - 7/10

The last album is a fairly modern one (2010) but was clearly inspired by Metal greats from the 80s.

3. Over The Top - White Wizzard

White Wizzard are an American NWOTHM band that MAY have listened to a lot of Iron Maiden and Anthrax whilst growing up, but I'm not completely certain about that. Regardless of their personal taste in music, the band's amplified bass, falsetto vocals and galloping rhythm definitely conjure memories of 80s Metal as demonstrated in album opener and title track "Over The Top". It's a great introduction to the band if you've never heard of them before (which is highly likely) but the real heavy hitters come later on, especially if you're a fan of riff-based Metal and backing vocals perfect for singing along during gigs.

Even though there are more than a few comparisons to their sources of inspiration, the band are easily able to stand up on their own feet. In fact, I'd argue that there's a case to be made that White Wizzard have taken those factors and improved them. Whilst there's the occasional proggy deep cut ("Iron Goddess Of Vengeance"), there are also tracks with mildly progressive elements ("High Roller") that don't go on anywhere near as long as those in modern Iron Maiden or Dream Theater songs, meaning that fans of Heavy Metal that remains tight and energetic will have a lot to enjoy in this album. There's also the fact that vocalist Wyatt Anderson can hit those high notes without sounding too rusty, something Bruce Dickinson is starting to lose if live gigs are anything to go by.

The only main downside to Over The Top is that a great Heavy Metal album has plenty of variety between fast tracks, moderately paced sluggers and slower, more emotional material. This album lacks the slower songs that allow the band to show off their musical talent, instead opting to rewrite the same song ("Live Free Or Die" and "Strike Of The Viper"). As a result, you might feel like the band are a bit one-note if you're not a fan of the song they clearly love. Fortunately, I love that song so this is a great album for me. I definitely recommend it if you want some good old fashioned Heavy Metal.

1. Over The Top

2. 40 Deuces

3. High Roller

4. Live Free Or Die

5. Iron Goddess Of Vengeance

6. Out Of Control

7. Strike Of The Viper

8. Death Race

9. White Wizzard

ALBUM RATING - 8/10

Next month: Hopefully posts that don't all come within the last week, although it does depend largely on personal issues resolving themselves.

Tenology: Great Song Uses In Video Games

Yes, it's a video game post but no, it's not about video game music!
Video games have come a long way over the last couple of decades, not just in terms of graphics and gameplay but also music use. When game developers decided to license actual songs instead of relying entirely on music specifically made for the title, most of the time it was just to offer additional background music (see GTA radio stations). However, now and then, the game developers knew that certain gameplay moments couldn't be experienced without a specific track playing and that's what this post is all about; a celebration of those times when a song came on, the stars aligned and all was right with the world just for a few minutes.
These moments don't occur that often, which is probably what makes them even greater, but in no particular order, here are ten times that video games reached the next level (no pun intended) with their uses of licensed music and/or songs by real bands recorded specifically for a game. Note: I'm not including songs licensed just for the game's soundtrack that are heard randomly and without purpose; these songs have to be heard at scripted events to be counted. I'm also not including songs from rhythm music games (Guitar Hero, Rock Band, etc) and I'm aiming to only include one song per game franchise, so no repeat uses of Saints Row tracks.


1. "Children Of The Elder God" - Poets Of The Fall
Used in Alan Wake (2010)

Alan Wake is a game about a writer trying to survive an attack by vicious, possessed creatures in a dark wood. It largely involves a lot of walking, some gun play and a bit of psychological horror. However, one section takes you to a stage in the middle of the woods where the fictional band Old Gods Of Asgard used to play. The game then treats you to a level where the stage lights up and monsters attempt to attack you whilst this song plays from start to finish. Needless to say, it's fucking awesome (if not a little out of place). The song is technically by Poets Of The Fall although I believe the track is credited to their fictional name in the game. Either way, the combination of the great song, the fun level and the welcome break from all the creepiness makes this a highly memorable moment.


2. "Opposites Attract" - Paula Abdul
Used in Saints Row IV (2013)

Saints Row started off as a fun little GTA clone but soon evolved into something much, MUCH better when Saints Row IV came around (although I hear Saints Row The Third is also fantastic). There are many great song uses in this game, including a side mission where you do a pole dance to "Simply Irresistible" - Robert Palmer and escape from an alien mothership to "What Is Love" - Haddaway. However, my personal favourite is a little more low key than those. You're driving with your friend on your way to start the mission (some shooting/fighting affair, no big deal) when "Opposites Attract" comes on over the radio. Your character and your friend then proceed to sing along, playing both parts regardless of which gender or voice actor you choose to play The Boss. It's a particularly fun little section in a game filled with over-the-top missions and music moments...it also helped me get into this song and inspired me to learn all of the lyrics too, although let's not dwell on that.


3. "Painkiller" - Judas Priest
Used in Brutal Legend (2009)

This song was almost going to be "Children Of The Grave" - Black Sabbath or "Through The Fire And Flames" - DragonForce but then I remembered the final boss. Whilst those songs had great uses in this third person hack n slash/RTS inspired by the art and music of Heavy Metal, the final battle of the game is amplified all the more by this epic battle anthem. It's a shame the final boss itself is a lame battle on its own but this song takes it to far higher levels. Hopefully one day we'll get a Brutal Legend 2 before all the Rock/Metal musicians die and the tracks are too expensive to license but hey, at least we can always relive this game.


4. "Still Alive" - Jonathan Coulton
Used in Portal (2007)

Portal is regarded as one of the greatest video games due to its unique puzzle solving elements and humour, although I've never actually played much of it myself. I played a bit on a demo and can't say I cared for it but there is one thing I enjoyed: the song used in the credits. Another track written specifically for the game that sung from the perspective of the game's AI antagonist; a hauntingly optimistic look at the game's events that fans have praised for over a decade. Whilst my enjoyment of the song has faded since I first heard it, I still acknowledge that it's a necessary factor in what makes Portal such a memorable game. It's rightfully taken its place in video game Pop culture, much like "the cake is a lie"...although I prefer "Still Alive".


5. "Gone Guru" - Lifeseeker
Used in Dead Rising (2006)

Yep, I'm even including Hip Hop songs in this list. Whilst I couldn't give a shit about the rapping throughout, the opening guitar notes will always make me think of the prison inmates fight from Dead Rising. Basically, you're stuck in a supermarket overrun with zombies and somehow, a bunch of prisoners have not only escaped but acquired a military vehicle with a machine gun on it. They then drive to the park section of the supermarket where they proceed to spend the majority of the game driving around attempting to kill you instead of looting or, say, escaping. However, every time you enter the park with the convicts around, this song plays...and my God, it is chilling.
See, the zombies in this game are pretty easy to kill. The convicts, however? Pain in the arse. Not only that but they are lethal to any survivors you've got with you, making them a genuine threat to survival that you often have to navigate your way around rather than take head on. Oh, and they respawn. What this means is even after you successfully kill them, you can revisit the park and immediately realise that you're in for a challenge...all because of "Gone Guru" and those opening guitar notes. It's one of the game's scariest moments, all thanks to a single song. Well played, Capcom.


6. "Bad Voodoo" - Kreeps
Used in Red Dead Redemption: Undead Nightmare (2010)

I'd probably be less inclined to include DLC expansions in this list if Undead Nightmare wasn't the single greatest DLC expansion to ever exist. Red Dead Redemption is a fun third person cowboy action game but Undead Nightmare mixes things up with the addition of zombies, completely changing the style of gameplay you might be used to and adding all new levels of fun to an already decent game. The music is creepy and atmospheric but towards the end of the game, you're tasked with riding to Mexico to seek someone out. You get on your horse, you start riding and BAM, this song comes in loud and proud. At first, it sounds like it could be part of the game's score but then the vocals come in as you storm across the fields of death. Most people claim "Far Away" - Jose Gonzales is a great use of licensed music in a game but I still love this song and use.


7. "She Changes Like The Weather" - Nic Armstrong
Used in Destroy All Humans! 2 (2006)

I loved this game when it first came out. Not just because destroying buildings and killing people as an alien was fun to a kid but the improvements made between DaH! and DaH!2 were phenomenal. New weapons, globetrotting locations, decent side missions, proper bodysnatching AND licensed music that sounded great. You'd think that a game taking place in the 60s would license a load of 60s Garage Rock but (presumably) to save on the costs, they instead went for modern music that SOUNDED like 60s Rock. One of the songs featuring prominently throughout the game is "She Changes Like The Weather", a sort of Beatlesque number with a catchy vocal melody. It can be heard near record shops AND towards the end of the game, it plays during a chaotic clash inside a moon base. Maybe it's just because the contrast of this peaceful sounding song and all the fighting going on reminds me of The Prisoner (they used "All You Need Is Love" - The Beatles during a gunfight in the final episode) but I loved hearing it during gameplay, even if it wasn't necessarily my favourite track licensed for the game. I also loved "Help You Ann" - Lyres playing during one of the side missions, although unfortunately that side mission can eat a dick.


8. "Ain't No Rest For The Wicked" - Cage The Elephant
Used in Borderlands (2009)

I'm not a big fan of FPS games but the intro to Borderlands was enough to convince me to give this a try. In the end, I gave it up because my PC couldn't handle it but enough about personal shit, let's talk music! The opening cinematic does an exceptional job of setting the tone, introducing the characters and giving us a snapshot of the world you're about to become a part of and it wouldn't be the same without the action choreographed to "Ain't No Rest For The Wicked". It's the perfect blend of gritty and wacky, just like Borderlands, and lyrically it's exactly the kind of message you need to understand everything you need to know about the characters. I've heard the second game has a decent use of "Short Change Hero" - The Heavy but this is the only game I've played of the Borderlands franchise, so this is the one that struck a chord with me.


9. "Mickey" - Toni Basil
Used in Lollipop Chainsaw (2012)

Another game with an underrated little soundtrack. Lollipop Chainsaw saw you playing as a cheerleader/zombie hunter who carried a comically oversized chainsaw and the still-alive severed head of her boyfriend as she aimed to save each member of her family from the undead. Whilst the game had several great licensed music uses (the Dead Or Alive song during the farm level was also a contender for this list), I never got tired of hearing "Mickey" play every time I powered up and entered sparkle mode or whatever the fuck it was called. It's a song that works not only as a cute little Pop number or the credits song but also as a battle anthem for tearing through zombies. Who knew?


10. "Get It Together" - The Go! Team
Used in LittleBigPlanet (2008)

I hated this game when I played it. I can't remember which level I got to but I remember the realistic gravity and 2D platforming did nothing but piss me off. However, there is one great thing about this game: the use of "Get It Together" - The Go! Team, a charming little Indie number used heavily in the game's promotion but also during some of the levels. The mediocre platforming sections are greatly improved by this quirky tune's presence and the fact that the song was previously associated with the game before appearing in a level makes the song feel like an accomplishment; you've earned the ability to hear this song as you play due to progressing to this point. Maybe I'm only thinking of it as an achievement because to me, playing the game for more than a couple of minutes was a slog, but either way I loved the track and am almost certain that this game...nah, it probably would've done well even without the licensed music.


Obviously there are other great uses of licensed tracks in video games that I've either neglected or simply didn't think were all that (yes, I'm aware of The Rolling Stones in Call Of Duty and yes, I've watched the introduction to Prey with "(Don't Fear) The Reaper"). If there are any music moments in games that you recommend and think I should check out, feel free to let me know in the comments or via Twitter.

Showdown: Southbound - The Doobie Brothers

I recently wrote a Showdown post looking at a 2009 album of rerecords and a few new songs by Spinal Tap. I enjoyed comparing the classics with the new material so figured I'd do it again with another collection of rerecords, although this time dealing with hits by Classic Rock group The Doobie Brothers. However, unlike the Spinal Tap post, these rerecords are of tracks from different albums across the band's career as opposed to just one.
The rerecords in question are all from Southbound, a 2014 compilation featuring a variety of guest musicians from Rock and Country backgrounds.

So here's how this works, for anyone unfamiliar with Showdown posts from the past. I go through the tracklist of Southbound, first writing about the original Doobie Brothers song before comparing it with the rerecording, ultimately offering my verdict on which track is "best". At the end, I'll tally up the scores and see whether I prefer the original songs or Southbound on average. It's as simple as that!
Below is a Spotify playlist containing all the originals and rerecordings. Normally, I'd embed the playlist at the bottom of the post but I feel like it's better placed here, since the only thing that can be spoiled here is the overall outcome of my verdicts (found at the bottom of this post), not the songs I've chosen to write about. Anyway, let's get listening!



ROUND ONE: Black Water
Original - Ahhh, what a great song to start with. I love "Black Water" and would call it my favourite Doobie Brothers track. Great mystical introduction, awesome acoustic guitar riff and when those drums come in? Damn, they sound great. I've heard rerecordings and covers of this song in the past where they fuck the drums up by going for power instead of quality; thankfully, the original still exists and makes for an underrated tune by the Doobs.
Rerecording - OK, introduction aside, this is a damn fine rerecording. The mystical sound is still there but the percussion sounds like it belongs in an R&B track, not this. Luckily, guest musicians Zac Brown Band prevent the song from nosediving and add some great slide guitar accompaniments, not to mention some damn fine vocals (I assume). It feels more like a Rock song than the original, something that some listeners will prefer and others won't.
VERDICT - To be honest, I was always gonna give the win to the Original purely because, as I said, it is my all-time favourite Doobie Brothers song. However, this is a damn fine cover. The introduction might be weak but they improved the "hear some funky Dixieland" section and truly made the song come alive with Southern flair in the outro. If you like "Black Water", I whole heartedly recommend seeking out the rerecording.

ROUND TWO: Listen To The Music
Original - I used to find this song a little generic...but then I played it on Rock Band and noticed all the great guitar melodies buried underneath the vocals. There's also a decent little solo at the end that reminds me of The Allman Brothers Band, although nowhere near as awesome to play/listen to. Much like "Black Water" and the lion's share of Doobie Brothers hits, it's a great Summer song that's perfect for driving down country lanes with the top down and the sun beaming down.
Rerecording - Not entirely sure how I feel about that intro. Reminds me a little of "Once In A Lifetime" - Talking Heads but once the acoustic guitar riff comes in, things start to sound a little more Doobie. Joining the band this time are Country musicians Blake Shelton and Hunter Hayes on guitar and vocals, presumably contributing to the more commercial sound the song has this time. It's a decent rerecord with some nice instrumentation and far superior production values.
VERDICT - I like both versions but I think I'm gonna give the win to the Rerecording. All the aspects of the song that work are either present or improved, from the vocal harmonies in the chorus to the extended guitar solo in the outro. Thumbs Up! Wait, that's the wrong post format.

ROUND THREE: What A Fool Believes
Original - Meh, I've never really cared for this song (even if it was co-written by Kenny Loggins). The piano and synth combo sounds like something from a show for toddlers and the vocals in the chorus from Michael McDonald are also a little off-putting. It's too close to Yacht Rock for me to enjoy it as much as other Doobie Brothers hits but this Captain & Tennille knockoff works as generic background Pop, I suppose.
Rerecording - Ugh, the piano introduction is even worse here. Luckily, guest vocalist Sara Evans makes this song work with the naturally higher pitched vocals that carry more passion than the male vocalist. His voice sounds laughable when paired with Sara's, although they could only work with the source material. This song is just utter shite, even when reworked with modern recording technology and additional instruments.
VERDICT - Both versions are terrible but I guess the crappy song recorded with better technology with a talented guest vocalist sounds better than the original. The win goes to the Rerecording.

ROUND FOUR: Long Train Runnin'
Original - I imagine this song was created after the success of "Listen To The Music" forced the band to write a similar track...or maybe I'm on my own in thinking this sounds a lot like "Listen To The Music" but either way, I'm not overly fond of this song. Don't get me wrong, I think it's OK but I would never choose to listen to it if given a choice of Classic Rock songs. Maybe it's the harmonica solo or maybe it's the choice of minor key the song's written in but yeah, not a highlight of the band's career in my eyes.
Rerecording - Another song with two guest musicians, although I actually know these guys! Toby Keith and Huey Lewis! Not only do they bring some great vocals to the song but Huey's harmonica solo is a bit more complex than the original, even if when all's said and done it's still a harmonica solo and therefore pointless. However, the biggest improvement is the change in key. Tuning it down makes it sounds much better.
VERDICT - Isn't it obvious? Rerecording wins it again.

ROUND FIVE: China Grove
Original - Whilst this song is still Summer-y, it definitely feels more like a Rock song than some of their acoustic-driven tracks. The guitar riff is the song's greatest strength although the piano sounds neat in the background too. Vocals are serviceable and the guitar solo's pretty sweet for a Doobie Brothers song, although the lyrics are a little flawed. Whilst the idea of a sheriff with a samurai sword may have tickled the band when they wrote it, they neglected to consider that samurais are Japanese, not Chinese. Way to go Doobs, you just outed yourselves as horrible racists and now have 24 hours to apologise on Twitter or face pain of death.
Rerecording - OK, I went into this round thinking "I like "China Grove", the original will totally win it"...but after listening to this cover, I'm not so sure. The delay on the iconic riff in the introduction followed by the punchier, stadium percussion really amplifies the Rock elements of this song for the better. I'm not sure exactly how much guest musician Chris Young added to the track, as his voice doesn't stand out as much as previous vocalists, but I'm still impressed over how awesome the band managed to make this classic of theirs.
VERDICT - God, it's tricky. If I could give it to both, I definitely would...well, I mean, I could give it to both since it's my blog and therefore my rules. But then I've created rules about awarding the point to both and I don't think I've done it before so I shouldn't really start here...although I guess there's nothing wrong with awarding the point to both, or neither. Where was I going with this? Oh fuck it, the Rerecording gets it again. It's as good if not ever so slightly better than the original.

ROUND SIX: Takin' It To The Streets
Original - I think the main reason I've never given this song enough attention is because it sounds like Yacht Rock from the start. Thankfully, things start to pick up a bit just before the chorus with the bit that uses a similar descending chord sequence to "10538 Overture" - ELO (I'm sure all of you will know exactly what I'm referring to with that comparison). Even if it does sound like the theme for an 80s sitcom of the same name, I still like this song. It's lively and has a decent if not slightly forgettable saxophone solo.
Rerecording - Of all the rerecordings I've heard so far, this one is probably the closest to the original. There are a couple of small differences here and there, mostly in the vocal department thanks to guest artist Love And Theft, but the piano intro is spot on and the guitars are still appropriately used...until the solo comes in. Turns out a guitar solo actually helps this song more than a saxophone solo, although there's no prizes for predicting that. It's a shame the outro doesn't have the organ from the original, although the bridge they added kinda works so it's not all bad.
VERDICT - You know what I'm gonna say. The Rerecording wins another round! If it's not apparent yet, I definitely recommend Southbound.

ROUND SEVEN: Jesus Is Just Alright (With Me)
Original - Lyrics aside, this song's pretty good. It comes from Toulouse Street, a brilliant album with many classics and great deep cuts, and even if the chorus comes across as a little tacky, the guitar riff used near the start and after the FIRST awesome guitar solo is straight out of a Blue Oyster Cult song. Combine that with the rest of the music and you end up with something like Santana only without the air of pretentiousness. I recommend listening to this song if you like Classic Rock with a Latin flair; worst thing that happens is you dislike the song but get a laugh at the line "Jesus is my friend" in the middle eight.
Rerecording - Normally, I'd appreciate the transformation of any song into a fully-fledged Rock track but I'm not entirely sure it works here. This might be because I've heard a lot of Southern Rock rerecordings so far and turning a song that stands apart from the Doobie Brothers' back catalogue into something relatively generic by the album's standards isn't the best decision they could've made. It's a solid rerecording, though. Guest musician Casey James gives the vocals some extra weight and the change in key gives the song a Bachman-Turner Overdrive quality, which I will always be happy about.
VERDICT - Despite the fact that the rerecording was a good listen, I'm giving the win to the Original this time. The guitar solos in the original are more significant to me and as I said, the musical variety from the band that actually works really well should be rewarded over playing it safe.

ROUND EIGHT: Rockin' Down The Highway
Original - Another great Classic Rock song by the Doobs. Great riff, fantastic chorus, fun little solo and all-in-all, a top notch track to enjoy. I would argue that this song is probably better than "China Grove" if you're after good old fashioned Rock, although "China Grove" does have a damn fine riff and solo. However, that doesn't change the fact that I really like this song and would definitely put it up there among my favourites by the band. Oh, and you know what album it's from? Toulouse Street. Totally an underrated album.
Rerecording - Oh man, this rerecording? This rerecording right here? I fucking love it. Not surprising when the guest musician is Brad Paisley, an excellent Country guitarist with his own unique sound and style. I love how the change in key and added backing vocals in the chorus make it sound like a Styx song (yeah, I meant that as a positive; deal with it), giving it that extra burst of energy. The only downside is the guitar solo; it's not bad but it's definitely not one of Brad Paisley's best. He lets loose towards the end but it kind of blends into the rest of the music rather than standing out.
VERDICT - As much as I love the rerecording, I'm giving the win to the Original. Again, comparing the talents of the band at the time of the original recording and rerecording, I feel like The Doobie Brothers gave more. They turned up the guitars and gave us some top notch Classic Rock whereas the rerecording has a partially phoned in solo. All in all though, I do really like both versions a lot.

ROUND NINE: Take Me In Your Arms (Rock Me A Little While)
Original - Another fun Classic Rock tune! The increase in production values in comparison to their earlier material really makes this song come alive, as there's no way this track would work the same without the backing vocals, brass and strings. But hey, let's look at the song from a creative perspective; the chorus is perfect, the guitar solo rocks and if your foot isn't tapping by the end, you're probably in a wheelchair...or just not into this kind of music, definitely one of the two.
Rerecording - Even if the gospel backing vocals are the only holdover from the original that isn't part of the standard band, this rerecording is still pretty good! I think the lion's share of this song's high quality comes from the addition of chords in the chorus alongside the vocal melody, as I fucking love that change. I'm assuming that change came with guest musician Tyler Farr but either way, I'm glad they did it. Meanwhile, the rest of the song is good although not quite as joyous as the original.
VERDICT - The rerecording definitely has more of a Country vibe to it, which will probably make it better to those who prefer that kind of Southern music. However, I'm giving the win to the Original for reasons stated above. Looks like the Doobs from the 70s are making their comeback!

ROUND TEN: South City Midnight Lady
Original - Back to the softer acoustic based Rock songs now. The music is soft and the melodies are perfect for relaxing in your back garden during the Summer, just how the Doobs should be enjoyed. It's not the kind of song that I'd get into but it's a nice little tune with some strong vocals and a great little outro. I suppose it's good that they chose a slower, more sensitive song to appear on the album to show off their versatility and to mix things up a little.
Rerecording - Another faithful rerecording enhanced with modern recording technology and guest musicians, this time Jerrod Niemann. Since I'm not a big fan of the song in general, it's not the kind of track I take pleasure in when it comes to seeking out all the little touches that make it enjoyable. That being said, it's a song that already had Southern Rock/Country elements so a cover on this album is either redundant or necessary depending on your taste in music. For me, it's redundant.
VERDICT - Yeah, the Original wins by a hair. I don't like either version that well but the rerecording doesn't add anything that makes it worth listening to, in my opinion.

ROUND ELEVEN: You Belong To Me
Original - More Yacht Rock, presumably stuck at the end because it's fucking Yacht Rock. I'm not entirely sure what The Doobie Brothers were thinking when they wrote this song; it sounds like it was put together in a couple of hours with Michael McDonald using it as an excuse to wail over the top of a few repeated keyboard chords. It's very easy to listen to this song without actually listening to it, if that makes sense.
Rerecording - Straight away, we have slightly heavier percussion and slower tempo before guest vocalist Amanda Sudano-Ramirez comes in...and Vince Gill helps. Unfortunately, the backing vocals in this song are still annoying (ARE STILL ANNO-HOY-II-ING) and the limp nature of the song hasn't been beefed up in the rerecording, once again making it a weaker choice than some of the previous tracks. But hey, I guess The Doobie Brothers only have so many hits and they're not gonne rerecord deep cuts.
VERDICT - Even though I hate both versions, I'm giving the win to the Rerecording because Amanda's voice works well and the fact that it's now an actual duet might make fans of generic Yacht Rock more inclined to listen to it.

ROUND TWELVE: Nobody
Original - One of the first Doobie Brothers songs and another one that I like quite a lot. It's got a Wild West vibe to it and acts as a neat little introduction to the band that would go on to write songs like "China Grove" and "Rockin' Down The Highway", as there's an electric guitar solo at one point. It's hardly a bold entrance onto the music scene but it's clearly a song that the Doobs are fond of, as Southbound isn't the only time they've rerecorded this track. They had another stab at it in 2010 for the World Gone Crazy album. It was good there too!
Rerecording - The last song on the album and even though the introduction (listed as a separate track for some reason) sets the bar high with a slightly slower, Bluesier feel, the actual song is a weaker version of both the 2010 rerecording and 1971 original. The final guest musician, Charlie Worsham, does what the majority of guest acts have done (very little of significance) but the guitar solo sounds good, if you're a fan of the original. All in all, it would've been neat to have that slower version to contrast with the 2010 version, even though the slower introduction is borrowed straight from the 2010 rerecording, but I suppose it wouldn't have been very Country now, would it.
VERDICT - If I was deciding between the original and the World Gone Crazy version, this might have been a tricky decision. However, as things are, the win goes to the Original and I highly advise you listen to that song instead of this disappointing end to Southbound.

FINAL SCORES:
Originals - 6
Rerecordings - 6

I guess some of the Original wins were a little generous but in a surprise outcome, it's a direct tie. Seriously, when I started this post, I was certain that the Rerecordings would win this with a landslide majority but here we are. In all seriousness though, whilst a lot of the originals are great, I cannot understate how fucking good Southbound is until the last three songs. I would rate it 8 or 9 out of 10 if it were a Shout Out post or flat out review but since it's a Showdown, I'm just gonna recommend it to you on the condition that you stop listening once you finish "Take Me In Your Arms (Rock Me A Little While)".

Here Is The News!

Another month where I let the backlog of posts I need to write get too high but hey, at least I'm kicking this month off with a brand new post format: Here Is The News (working title)!
I tend to write about Rock/Metal albums, songs and soundtracks with a few opinion posts splashed about here and there but I rarely cover real world events happening in the world of Rock/Metal (e.g. new album releases, tours, deaths, etc). That's where these posts come in...sort of.
You see, I could tell you about real world events in the world of music but chances are, you would be able to find this information out at any decent music site with far more informative details and links to quotes/sources/fancy images. So here's where the differences start: each section of these posts will be spoof articles based around real world events. The main aim of this is to have a laugh at the events happening in the world of Rock/Metal whilst also informing you about certain genuine stories that you may or may not already know. Whether it works or not will be for time to tell but I'm excited about giving it a go, seeing as how it's more creative than just covering stuff that people have already written about with no personal inflection.
Anyway, time for the first broadcast!

AXL'S HOT NEW RELEASE

After what feels like many long, long decades of anticipation, the original lineup of Guns N' Roses have made an exciting announcement that has shocked the entire Rock community. Axl Rose, lead vocalist of the 80s and briefly 90s Hard Rock outfit, has finally given birth to the gigantic turd he's been holding since 1986.

This announcement came shortly after the band made the page just before the sports section with their cryptic tease of various billboards reading "Destruction Is Coming", presumably designed to trick people into thinking an original lineup album or tour would be announced (pictured left). Instead, the band announced a reissue of their debut, Appetite For Destruction, an album that's been readily available at literally every record store and digital streaming site for the last 31 years. However, there are also new demos of a handful of unreleased tracks that were left off the original album for a reason.

Two weeks after the official announcement was made, Axl was rushed into hospital to finally push out the faecal log growing inside him. After several days slaving away squatting over an industrial sized toilet, Axl finally made the push that fans have been anticipating ever since they realised the build-up of shit inside him was affecting his performance as a vocalist. One hardcore fan, who wishes to remain anonymous, was quoted as saying "I'm glad he finally got it out of him. I was first worried about his health when I heard him vocally straining during "Knockin' On Heaven's Door". The man clearly had something causing intestinal pressure up inside him so I'm relieved he finally sorted it out, although probably not as relieved as him...or his bandmates". A female fan under the age of 18 wearing a classic Appetite For Destruction T-shirt was also quoted as saying "Who's Axl?".

Now that Axl has finally given birth to the behemoth turd inside his belly, it's expected that Axl can finally start behaving like a functioning person instead of a troubled diva. No longer will Axl force fans to wait hours for him to reach the stage due to labour pains and false alarms. No longer will band and crew members have to endure the stench of Axl's chud emerging whenever he bends over or opens his mouth. No longer will Axl's stylist have to stealthily replace his wardrobe with plus sized clothing to accommodate his growing frame and avoid hurting his feelings.

Thankfully, those days are behind us and Axl Rose can start showing us what he's truly capable of; hundreds of people cannot wait.

DAVE GROHL DOES IT AGAIN

Foo Fighters frontman Dave Grohl once again proved how likeable and fun he is by not only judging a BBQ contest in Memphis, Tennessee, but also rescuing a family of kittens from a burning building.

Dave Grohl (pictured left) has always come across as a genuine, warm, funny and talented person but it wasn't until this particular act of kindness that people believed this about him even more. It all started when Dave was chatting with fans about his favourite types of chips; that's when he heard the screaming. A nearby hospital had erupted into flames due to an unforeseen incident with an oxygen tank and a misplaced defibrillator, placing thousands of lives at risk. It was at that moment that Dave Grohl put down his beer and leapt into action.

Onlookers claim that Dave vaulted over various parked cars before smashing through one of the windows on the ground floor and making his way up to the blaze. Whilst it's unknown exactly what Dave did inside the building, he soon emerged carrying not only several patients but also a basket full of kittens that had presumably been brought to the hospital for positive reasons. Once he took the kittens and smoke-damaged patients to safety, Dave rushed back in and continued to do his best to fight the fire. It's reported that even after the firefighters and trained professionals arrived, Dave insisted on being at the front of the operation even though he happened to be wearing highly flammable clothing at the time and was currently going through back problems that day.

One of the firefighters who let Dave take control and do their job for them would later state "it's not something that we'd ordinarily do but Dave really wanted to be in charge and, I mean, come on. It's Dave Grohl; I'm not gonna say no to him, even if he isn't the right man for the job and probably would've been better suited at the back with everyone who needed water and funny anecdotes about the guys from Metallica". When asked to comment on the incident, members of the band Foo Fighters released the following statement: "We think Dave Grohl did an awesome thing and have no doubt in our minds that he is the greatest Rock frontman in recent history. We wrote this ourselves".

After the fire had been put out, Dave Grohl returned to the party to continue having fun for the rest of the day, offering no comment on the incident because he's a nice guy. The Foo Fighters are touring this year where they're expected to play a mix of classics and new songs off their latest LP, Concrete And Gold. At the time of writing this article, the album is still godawful.

NU-METAL ARRESTED

The entire genre Nu-Metal has caused quite the scene after being arrested for committing criminal acts including GBH, loitering and animal cruelty.

The 25-year old style of music was heard blaring out of a car as they drove past a playground, causing serious damage to the cochlea of anyone who had the misfortune of being within earshot of "Bodies" - Drowning Pool and "Nookie" - Limp Bizkit (pictured left). If things weren't already bad enough, the car had to come to a stop at nearby traffic lights, meaning the exposure to this hazardous content lasted for over 30 seconds. A mother at the playground claimed "it was the most horrendous thing I've ever heard. Whoever thought Rap and Rock should mix should take a long, hard look at themselves". Rick Rubin has been unavailable for comment.

Another parent had to take their child to a nearby hospital to have their ears syringed, although unfortunately the hospital was on fire at the time so the child could not purge their head of the thudding noise. When asked about the incident, the parent said "Why does the genre think it can get away with this kind of behaviour? This might have been acceptable in the mid-2000s when it was still in its teenage years but the time has come for Nu-Metal to stop this reckless attitude and mature into either Hip Hop or Heavy Metal".

The genre was last heard as the car pulled up outside the driver's address, just opposite a gathering of pigeons who would become so damaged by the sound of the generic riffs and terrible lyrics that their brains partially shut down, rendering them even dumber than before. These brain damaged pigeons (pictured right) were last seen wearing camo-trousers and getting face tattoos. Animal welfare agents did their best to aid the creatures, one of which later stating "this is the most emotionally devastating case I've dealt with since swine flu and even then, I didn't have to relive the embarrassment that was music in the late 90s".

Nu-Metal was arrested and charged in the early hours of the morning after it was found broadcasting on Kerrang during a three hour celebration of edgy music videos involving bands playing in empty warehouses. It's expected that Nu-Metal will be put away for a long time although exactly how long is unknown. However, if the cases of The People vs. Hair Metal or Hard Rock vs. Grunge are anything to go by, Nu-Metal will never see the light of day again.


That's the end of the news for this month! I'll be back with another broadcast in June but first, I've got about three other posts for May to catch up on.