I bought tickets to see Blue Oyster Cult sometime last year and have spent the last couple of months looking forward to seeing not only a cracking Classic/Hard Rock band playing iconic tunes but also my favourite guitarist absolutely killing it on guitar.
Man, was I disappointed.
I saw Blue Oyster Cult a couple of days ago at the O2 Academy in Leeds and whilst I didn't hate the evening's performance, I certainly expected better from these guys. However, the show didn't start with BOC; instead, we were treated to a short set by The Temperance Movement, a band I've discussed a few times on this blog and generally like. Despite a few odd choices in their set, they did a damn fine job of warming up the mostly elderly crowd with their loud Blues Rock and stage presence.
Phil Campbell belted out his raw vocals with album-quality precision whilst dancing around the stage like Thom Yorke and the majority of songs picked were bangers ("Take Me Back", "Caught In The Middle", "Midnight Black") although there were some issues. For starters, even though Phil was maintaining a high level of energy throughout the entire gig, the rest of the band were pretty static. They didn't have to prance about the stage like Mick Jagger but it would've been good to see some enthusiasm from the guitarists.
Then there was their choice of opening song, "Only Friend". It's a good footstomper but a terrible opening song choice; they would've been better off with a slightly faster, more energetic song like "Built-In Forgetter" or "Oh, Lorraine", something that isn't too powerful but enough to set the tone for their portion of the concert. There was also a portion towards the end where they played two slower songs that successfully brought the energy attained throughout the show down to levels where most of the audience felt comfortable chatting over the top of the music.
Despite these critiques, I would recommend seeing The Temperance Movement if you like their material although if you asked me the same thing about Blue Oyster Cult, I'd genuinely need to think about it for a while. It's not a good sign when the band come on stage and two songs into the main set, you find yourself asking "...wait, are these guys Blue Oyster Cult?" They kicked things off with an unintentionally hilarious rendition of "Dr Music" with Buck Dharma performing the high pitched chorus vocals traditionally done by female backing singers followed by a forgettable stab at "Before The Kiss, A Redcap".
From there, the show had ups and downs but there were a couple of things that could be argued either way. Firstly, there was the bizarre choice of deep cuts that seemed to make up the majority of the setlist. I was surprised that Blue Oyster Cult played "Golden Age Of Leather", "E.T.I. (Extra Terrestrial Intelligence)" and "Hot Rails To Hell" live but never in a million years would've guessed they'd pick those over classics like "Cities On Flame With Rock And Roll", "Joan Crawford" or "Astronomy", none of which were played.
Whilst I can understand the desire felt by older bands to mix setlists up so they're not just playing the same hits over and over again, I doubt they've played many UK shows recently so omitting certain fan favourites in place of songs like "She's As Beautiful As A Foot" so they could have a Proggy jam felt questionable, which brings me onto the next point; the jamming. Blue Oyster Cult must've gone off on random, instrumental jams on at least every other song they played. Long, tedious jams that genuinely nearly sent me to sleep.
In my opinion, a band has a free pass for one live jam session, two tops if one of them is the final song of the night (ignoring the encore). Some bands are known for excessive jamming on stage and maybe Blue Oyster Cult are one of those, since they definitely have some heavily kooky/psychedelic songs in their arsenal of Classic Rock. As someone who likes an even mix of their early heavy, Riff-Based-Rock and their mystical, synthy Arena Rock, I would've preferred one extra song instead of all the constant jamming.
Now, let's move onto some of the undeniably negative aspects: the band were not on top form. I don't know if it was a dud night for them or if they just couldn't give a shit about a night at a venue they'll almost certainly never play again but the overall vibe they were giving was one of not being prepared. Instead of bantering with the audience in between songs or telling anecdotes about the myriad of deep cuts they were playing, there were multiple moments of awkward silence as the band chatted with each other.
Band members also showed little enthusiasm for the gig with Buck Dharma playing as stiff as a mannequin and drummer Jules Radino changing tempo an embarrassing number of times with his double bass WAY too loud in the mix. However, at least some band members conveyed a little personality; Danny Miranda had some fun on stage in between laying down bass licks and Richie Castellano wasn't afraid to go full-Slash during some of the guitar solos. Eric Bloom was a pretty bland frontman but at least he engaged with the crowd now and then, mostly during the encore.
In fact, that was when the band was the most animated; during the two songs they played after buggering off stage for a few minutes. If they had that level of energy throughout the entire gig, I probably wouldn't have been so let down. Unfortunately, despite having some solid moments (excellent performance of "Godzilla", awesome additional solo in the "(Don't Fear) The Reaper" outro that sounded better than the first, great riffing and pitch-perfect lead vocals from Buck Dharma), there were too many flaws for this to reach one of my favourite gigs. This is somewhere in the middle; below Saxon, Bad Company and The Darkness but above Deep Purple, Judas Priest and Muse.
If you just want to hear a band you like play songs you may or may not enjoy without getting cute with the arrangement, a Blue Oyster Cult show probably isn't the gig for you. If you like bands winging it and maybe creating one memorable section over the course of two hours, tickets are almost certainly still on sale. I'm glad I got a chance to see Blue Oyster Cult before they threw in the towel with the rest of the 70s Rock bands currently bowing out gracefully though. Hopefully next time I see middle-aged rockers belting out classics, it'll be a better experience!
Thursday, 28 February 2019
Saturday, 23 February 2019
Band Hero
What's this? Another blog post and one that breaks the GH - RB - GH - RB pattern of rhythm music game setlist discussions? Yep, I'm looking at the teen friendly Band Hero instead of a Rock Band expansion pack this time, mostly because I plan on going for the Band Hero FGFC on Clone Hero which means revisiting all of the songs/charts in the game. Since I have to listen to all the songs anyway, I figured I might as well write my verdicts here so I don't have to listen to all the mindless, generic Pop this game had to offer for a second time down the line.
If you want to read about Rock music, feel free to catch up on previous Guitar Hero and Rock Band related blog posts!
"A Million Ways" - OK Go
Of all the OK Go songs to pick for the game, I'm not entirely sure why they went with this one. It probably had something to do with releasing their more popular songs like "Here It Goes Again" and "Do What You Want" as Guitar Hero DLC but either way, this is a relatively forgettable song. It's not the worst Pop Rock song to listen to but they probably would've been better off picking one of the aforementioned OK Go songs with the fun charts and recognisable melodies. THUMBS DOWN.
"ABC" - The Jackson 5
Pretty sure I've talked about this song before but basically, I hate it. I hate the idiotic lyrics, the simplistic music and the fact that everyone else seems to fucking love it. The only decent thing about this song is the drum solo but even that's ruined by the toddler screaming "NO! GEDDUP GURL!" so it's another THUMBS DOWN.
"American Pie" - Don McLean
As far as credits songs go, this is a pretty great choice. Fun chart (even if it does have a lot of piano charted to guitar) and totally appropriate for the game, as the inclusion of a handful of radio friendly Rock songs is the only thing that made this game tolerable. I'm glad they included this song in Band Hero rather than an on-disc GH game so it's getting a THUMBS UP although points should be deducted for the embarrassing censorship of "whiskey" in the chorus...you know, if points were a thing in these posts.
"Angels Of The Silences" - Counting Crows
It's not "Accidentally In Love" so it's not immediately getting a Thumbs Up. That being said, it is a decent tune and the guitar chart's not bad. There are a lot of basic guitar charts in this game and I'm not expecting to be wowed, bumping up the average for what I consider a fun chart. I don't know enough about this band to choose a different/better song so I guess I have no choice but to give it a THUMBS UP.
"Back Again" - Parachute
Not gonna lie, I actually kinda like this song. Guitar chart's pretty fun and the melody is enjoyable. I don't like it enough to listen to the song outside of GH but for the purposes of playing it in a rhythm music game, it gets a THUMBS UP.
"Bad Reputation" - Joan Jett
Mostly just chords and strumming but hey, it's not a bad song...at least not until the key change, THEN it's a bad song. It's also not a bad chart...until the key change, then it's a boring chart. Still, you can thank Shrek for making this song popular enough to include on Band Hero and whilst it's not one I play that often, it's not a song I despise listening to or playing so I'm giving it a THUMBS UP. Plus, I can't think of any other Joan Jett songs that'd be better in this game.
"Beautiful Soul" - Jesse McCartney
Ugh, this song is lame. Bland modern Pop for teenage girls, one step above Jonas Brothers and shit like that. However, the chart isn't awful. It's not great either, as many of the acoustic guitar riffs would've been so much better if they had HOPOs instead of strums, but it's not just a series of chords and strumming. Some thought was put into this song choice but that doesn't stop it from getting a THUMBS DOWN.
"Believe" - The Bravery
I like this song quite a bit. Great bass, decent vocal melodies, catchy chorus and some fun guitar too! This is the kind of song I wish there were more of in Band Hero; modern Pop Rock/Alternative that's got some decent guitar. I understand why the setlist was what it was but it's a shame we didn't get more surprisingly awesome tunes like this one. THUMBS UP.
"Black Cat" - Janet Jackson
First off, this song has a bitchin' guitar riff. It's not the most fun to play but damn, it is great to listen to. After that, the chart's pretty basic...until the guitar solo. This song's guitar solo is surprisingly challenging if you're not expecting it, making it another surprisingly fun tune to play! It's also a great choice from the 80s, as it's not quite cheesy enough to make you grow tired of playing it (see "YMCA") but it's not heavy enough to put off this game's target audience. THUMBS UP.
"Black Horse And The Cherry Tree" - KT Tunstall
Before this game, I knew exactly two KT Tunstall songs: this one and "Suddenly I See". I'm glad Band Hero got this song, as it's my personal favourite. Fun guitar and a great lively rhythm. It's definitely a song for vocalists but it helps that there's some solid guitar throughout too, earning it another THUMBS UP.
"Bring Me To Life" - Evanescence
I hate this song. Whiny, affected, pseudo-Rock bollocks. On the one hand, I'm glad this track was included in Band Hero instead of a Guitar Hero game/DLC but on the other, it's a terrible song and I would've been perfectly content had it never disgraced any of the Hero games. Anyway, enough about my personal distaste towards the song; how's the chart? Well, it's basically just chords and strumming with a few sustains...so THUMBS DOWN.
"Dirty Little Secret" - The All-American Rejects
Never been into these guys, although I doubt any of you will be that surprised. These guys are safe Pop Rock for edgy teenage girls so their songs tend to sound the same. That being said, I don't hate this song or chart. It's run-of-the-mill for this game so I guess it belongs here as much as any other All-American Rejects tune. I'm on the fence about this one but I'm going to give them a THUMBS UP because I sort of like the guitar riff. Just a shame it's stapled to this song.
"Do You Really Want To Hurt Me" - Culture Club
80s Pop song? Cool! This particular 80s Pop song? Oh. I guess it's an alright song with a good easy chart for the start of the game's career mode, although I personally would've preferred "Karma Chameleon" or some other 80s New Wave song, as there were plenty with fun guitar. Some Blondie perhaps, maybe "Echo Beach" - Martha And The Muffins? Yeah, now that I think about it, I don't like this song. The chorus is annoying and it forms the majority of the song's melody. THUMBS DOWN.
"Don't Speak" - No Doubt
One of two songs by No Doubt in this game and I have to say, I hate both songs equally! Boring guitar, irritating vocals, just really bland performances by everyone all-round. Fuck No Doubt. THUMBS DOWN.
"Every Rose Has Its Thorn" - Poison
As indifferent as I am to this Country song masquerading as a Hair Metal ballad, the guitar chart's actually pretty fun. Some great HOPO riffs and a short but sweet solo. I would've preferred a Hair Metal power ballad like "Home Sweet Home" - Motley Crue but this song's a good choice, I suppose. Probably more accessible than "Home Sweet Home" too. THUMBS UP.
"Fascination" - Alphabeat
I remember hearing this song's chorus in TV ads a lot which put me off it for a while. However, after listening to the song in full, I actually sort of like it! Catchy melody and some decent guitar (although plenty of awkward strumming too), plus it's upbeat Pop so definitely the perfect music for this game. There are a bunch of other upbeat chart songs I would probably have preferred in this game but I can't think of a good enough reason to give it a Thumbs Down so, by process of elimination, it must earn a THUMBS UP.
"Gasoline" - The Airbourne Toxic Event
Oh boy, I love this song! I especially love the heavy guitar riff and HOPO use in this classic Audioslave so...oh, wait. It's not the song I'm thinking of. It's just a modern Rock song that sort of sounds like a worse version of Tom Petty. This song has some fun guitar parts and awkward guitar parts but it's getting a THUMBS UP for being a moderately challenging guitar chart in comparison to the rest of the game. Plus, it's not just pre-pubescent teenage Pop Rock so it deserves some credit for that.
"Hands Down" - Dashboard Confessional
Aaaaand here's the pre-pubescent teenage Pop Rock. Chart's mostly chord strumming but there are some fun riffs here and there. Unfortunately, most of them would be more fun with HOPOs instead of strum notes but at least they're good riffs to listen to. I know nothing about this band (I don't think I even played this song in Band Hero) so can't comment on what song would be a better choice but since it's a decent Pop Rock tune with a fun chart, it deserves a THUMBS UP.
"Hang Me Up To Dry" - Cold War Kids
THUMBS DOWN to this boring ass, Radiohead-wannabe Indie song with its tedious guitar chart and uninspired music. That's all that needs to be said about this track.
"Happy Together" - The Turtles
This song is popular enough to belong in this game and even though the guitar chart is easy, it contains a fair amount of variety to make it slightly more fun. However, I personally would've preferred more focus on the guitar and less on the annoying brass in the chorus. Still, this is a solid pick for Band Hero. THUMBS UP.
"Honky Tonk Woman" - The Rolling Stones
Bobby Kotick loves his Rolling Stones, huh. Of all their songs to be in Band Hero, this probably has to be one of the more sensible choices. Guitar's OK but nothing special, just like all the other Rolling Stones songs, and it's a relatively well known tune of theirs without being as "heavy" as bigger hits like "Jumpin' Jack Flash" and "Paint It, Black" (which was already in GH3). I'm a little surprised they didn't go for something like "Start Me Up" or "Brown Sugar" but either way, I can't complain about this song's inclusion when the alternative probably wouldn't have been much better. THUMBS UP.
"I Heard It Through The Grapevine" - Marvin Gaye
This game also has plenty of R&B/Soul although, for some reason, they decided to not pick R&B/Soul songs with fun guitar and instead choose ones with strings/brass/keys. We didn't get fun Stevie Wonder songs but we got this one with the sexy bass and annoying trill section on guitar. Still, it's a good tune to listen to...although a horrible song to play so THUMBS DOWN.
"I Want You To Want Me (Live)" - Cheap Trick
Easily one of the best songs in the game. Fun guitar chart and the best version of this song available, since the At Budokan version doesn't sound as good, the In Color original is Bubblegum Pop and the rerecorded studio version doesn't quite pack the same punch. There are some mildly awkward sections but with practise, this song is easy to master and a blast to play. Plus it's one of Cheap Trick's most famous songs that hasn't already been in Guitar Hero so THUMBS UP.
"If You Could Only See" - Tonic
It would've been awesome if this game had a bunch of 90s Alternative Rock songs that crossed into mainstream radio territory, stuff like "Jumper" - Third Eye Blind and "Shine" - Collective Soul. Unfortunately, we got songs like this. Non-threatening 90s Pop Rock with fairly unimpressive guitar for 17 year old girls. That's what happens when a bunch of businessmen in suits thinktank a setlist for a target demographic currently uninterested in rhythm music video games. THUMBS DOWN.
"In A Big Country" - Big Country
Despite being the single edit, this is definitely more fun than the Rock Band 3 chart. It's got some mildly awkward sections but it's still a good chart and a great song to listen to. I don't really know anything else about this band but I'm guessing it's one of their most popular songs, seeing as how they named themselves after it. Regardless of the song/band's origins, it gets a THUMBS UP for sounding different to the average Band Hero song and for being an enjoyable experience to play.
"Just A Girl" - No Doubt
Hey, the circus clowns are back with their Pop Rock cover of the Rugrats theme! I'm sure this was intended to be a sarcastic comment on the perception of women in the media but Gwen Stefani really did a shit job of sounding frustrated at the injustice she faces. In fact, she seems better at singing the borderline slutty girly girl sections more than the "Fuck you and your misogyny" chorus parts. THUMBS DOWN for many reasons including failing to do what artists like Chrissie Hynde (Pretenders) do so fucking brilliantly.
"Kids" - Robbie Williams & Kylie Minogue
Definitely picked for the vocal melody in the chorus but it just so happens that this song has some fairly active guitar too. I suppose I'm glad that we got this song instead of a Robbie Williams song AND a Kylie Minogue one (unless the Robbie Williams one was "A Man For All Seasons") but it's not one I'd want to play often. That being said, it is quite funny listening to Robbie Williams' embarrassing rap in the outro so THUMBS UP for making me chuckle and entertaining me with the guitar chart, I suppose.
"Kung-Fu Fighting" - Carl Douglas
MUCH better than the Lego Rock Band chart, since that version is just chords and strumming. This chart has sections where you play the "DEE-DEE-DEE-DEE-DI-DI-DOO-DOO-DI" bit on tap notes throughout, adding more variety and sparing your strumming wrist from repetitive strain injury. It's also a fun little catchy tune that kids and families probably enjoyed playing together, since it's a universally recognised song. THUMBS UP for being a solid choice and having a tolerable chart.
"L.E.S. Artistes" - Santigold
Boring chart and song. "Say Aha" would've been better in every way. THUMBS DOWN.
"Let's Dance" - David Bowie
Ugh, this song. Boring as fuck in Lego Rock Band and just plain boring in Band Hero, even with the dull brass charted. Seriously, of all the David Bowie songs, this was their best choice? Not "Life On Mars", "Heroes?", "Modern Love", "The Jean Genie", all the other songs I mention when complaining about David Bowie song choices for video games? THUMBS DOWN.
"Lifeline" - Papa Roach
One of the hardest songs in the game although, by any other game's standard, it's pretty fucking easy. Edgy teen Rock with some fun guitar but mostly just strumming when it's not the main riff. I don't know any other better Papa Roach songs but if you want modern Rock with relatively challenging guitar, there's no short supply. Hell, a Foo Fighters song would've done instead of this repetitive shite. THUMBS DOWN.
"Like Whoa" - Aly & AJ
This song's first lyric is "Life is good, I can't complain, I mean I could but no-one's listening". She's complaining about how nobody's listening to her complaining. That should give you an insight into how much I dislike this Disney shit. It just sucks musically, lyrically and from a charting perspective. Aside from one small fast strumming section, it has nothing going for it on guitar. THUMBS DOWN.
"Lips Of An Angel" - Hinder
Modern Hard Pop Rock, just what we were missing! I'm surprised this game didn't have any Creed or Nickelback to go with this song but hey, at least it's not that bland. There's some fun to be had on guitar...like, a tiny minuscule amount. Yet again, it's another song picked to sing along to but at least it's a Rock song instead of more anaemic Pop. THUMBS UP.
"Love Is A Battlefield" - Pat Benatar
Awesome song, great guitar chart (complete with bitchin' solo), totally suitable for this game. One of the best songs in Band Hero and I feel no shame in saying that. THUMBS UP.
"Love Story" - Taylor Swift
The first of three songs by Taylor Swift, an artist who started off with Country Pop before transitioning to just Pop because it made her more money/was easier to sell. This complete crap with dull guitar and cliched lyrics about Romeo & Juliet written by an eleven year-old is a perfect example of a song that deserves a THUMBS DOWN. Can't wait to see what else Taylor has to offer!
"Mr. Roboto" - Styx
Hats off to Activision for getting the original version of this song instead of a rerecording, which is probably why it didn't export to other games. Anyway, I love this song! Guitar chart's OK, nothing fancy but it's exactly what it needed to be for this song. The track itself is probably the best Styx song to choose, since some of their other Pop songs are probably a bit too much on the Prog side like "Come Sail Away" although I think I would've been happy with most popular Styx songs. THUMBS UP.
"Naive" - The Kooks
Hate The Kooks and this song. If it was "Sofa Song" or "She Moves In Her Own Way", MAYBE I would've been less harsh but instead, we got this wank. On the plus side, it's more active guitar than a lot of other songs on this list but sadly, it's all in service of a song I wouldn't listen to even if it drowned out the sound of my parents fucking. THUMBS DOWN.
"Ocean Avenue" - Yellowcard
I've listened to this song a bunch of times and I still can't remember anything about it. It's just generic weeny Pop Punk and certainly no "The Takedown". However, I'm guessing it's also this band's most popular song so it's a logical choice for the game. Plus, aside from all the chord strumming, there are some fun HOPO/tap note sections. Ah, what the hell. THUMBS UP for not being an awful Pop Punk song like "Stacy's Mom" or "Teenage Dirtbag".
"Oh, Pretty Woman" - Roy Orbison
Yeah, I like this song's riff. I prefer it to the one in the Van Halen cover too, although the rest of the song is pretty dull. If I'm being honest, I'm not entirely sure why this song was in the game as I doubt the target audience are that familiar with it to the point that they'd love to play/sing it. Some 60s songs like "Happy Together" that have reached a certain level of cultural acceptance are understandable but Roy Orbison ain't reaching the teens, I'll tell you that much. Plus, I probably would've preferred some other piece of Pop Rock from the 60s. Maybe something by Herman's Hermits or Jefferson Airplane? "Somebody To Love" would've been a great choice for this game. THUMBS DOWN, I'm afraid.
"Our Lips Are Sealed" - The Go-Go's
Meh, I prefer the Fun Boy Three version of this song. Once again, it's serviceable 80s Pop Rock but I would've preferred some Blondie, as something like "Atomic" or "Call Me" probably would've been more enjoyable on guitar. However, personal taste aside, this song is suitable for the game and probably more popular than I'm aware of so THUMBS UP.
"Paralyzer" - Finger Eleven
Whilst I personally prefer the song "Living In A Dream" by this band, this is the bigger single and still has plenty of guitar throughout so it's the better choice for the game. Plus, I think "Living In A Dream" hadn't been released when this game came out so really, it's the only choice by this band. THUMBS UP despite the awkward guitar riff in the verse.
"Picture To Burn" - Taylor Swift
Yee-haw, more Country from the artist we're all supposed to worship for some reason. However, of all the Taylor Swift songs to pick for the game, this is probably the best since "Shake It Off" hadn't been released yet. It's actually got some fun guitar, complete with banjo licks and a sweet solo. If you want a fun guitar chart and can tune out the terrible lyrics (seriously, they're fucking awful), you'll get some joy out of this. THUMBS UP.
"Pictures Of You" - The Last Goodnight
What is this shit and why did they censor "gun" in the lyrics? Don't want to toddlers playing this game to know weapons exist? THUMBS DOWN.
"Put Your Records On" - Corinne Bailey Rae
I fucking hate this song. I remember hearing it on the radio all the fucking time growing up and hating every second of it. This was clearly another song picked for the purpose of singing along with friends in your bedroom after school, hence the dull guitar chart and the THUMBS DOWN I'm giving it.
"Rio" - Duran Duran
There are exactly two songs by Duran Duran that I like and since Guitar Hero 5 got the other one, I'm glad Band Hero got this one. It's also much more fun than the Rock Band chart, which was simultaneously boring AND awkward on guitar. Granted there's brass charted with tap notes here but I'm OK with that. I'm also OK with this particular 80s Pop song being in the game so THUMBS UP.
"Rock Star" - N.E.R.D.
I would genuinely have preferred the Nickelback song "Rock Star" over this trash performed by more Hip Hop cunts who don't understand what the term "Rock Star" means. THUMBS DOWN.
"Santa Monica" - Everclear
This bland Surf Rock song means absolutely nothing to me and the fact that it exists annoys me, as it meant a potentially better 90s/00s Alternative Rock song lost a place on this game's setlist. There are some decent HOPO sections that last precisely half a second each and the rest of the song consists of chords and sustains. Boring track and chart. THUMBS DOWN.
"She Will Be Loved" - Maroon 5
Hey hey, it's the other circus clown that was playable in the game, Adam Levine! It'll come as no surprise to you that I fucking hate Maroon 5 on account of having working ears connected to a functioning brain so we all know the verdict I'm going to give this generic Pop shite...but let's spend some time dicking on the track a little more, shall we? Dull 4/4 strumming, uninspired vocal melodies (anyone else hear touches of early 00s Red Hot Chili Peppers in the chorus?), absolutely no backbone from any of the band members playing on this garbage excuse for a soulful song, an appalling lack of variety in the chart due to the simplistic nature of the song and even though vocalists will probably have a blast wailing along to Patch Adam, it's getting an almighty THUMBS DOWN from me.
"So Yesterday" - Hilary Duff
Remember Hilary Duff? You do? Why? Anyway, she has a song with a name almost as annoying as the thought of Hilary Duff. Unsurprisingly, the guitar chart is dull and repetitive and the songis even worse than I thought a song called "So Yesterday" would be. THUMBS DOWN.
"Steal My Kisses" - Ben Harper & The Innocent Criminals
Jesus, we're fully into the shit now, aren't we? More generic chord strumming to a funky rhythm in a sorry excuse for a 90s Surf Rock tune. Serious question, how did Activision fuck up the setlist this badly? Harmonix had the right idea with Lego Rock Band but Activision clearly had no clue, almost as if the setlist was picked by about eight cynical businessmen with a collective age of 430 years after a few hours Googling "What do youngsters listen to?" or asking a single intern what was on their iPod. THUMBS DOWN.
"Sugar, We're Going' Down" - Fall Out Boy
....I mean, I can't fault the inclusion of Fall Out Boy in Band Hero, as much as I dislike their pipsqueak brand of "Rock". What I am confused about is why they also appeared in Guitar Hero Warriors Of Rock, since I thought this game served an unintended purpose of attracting terrible Pop Rock songs away from GH like a black hole for non-edgy teen music? Anyway, the guitar chart is average. Chords, strumming, a decent HOPO outro and some relatively challenging rhythms for those unfamiliar with the game but otherwise, just a dull experience in comparison to some of their other songs like "Thnks Fr Th Mmrs" or "Dead On Arrival". THUMBS DOWN.
"Take A Picture" - Filter
This song is only six minutes long but my God, it felt like double that when I played it in Band Hero. Anyway, what can I say about the chart? How about "hope you like chord strumming, kids!" as that's all this song is...for six minutes. In what world could someone find this an objectively enjoyable experience on guitar, especially when compared to their other song in GH, "Hey Man, Nice Shot"? I mean, this song is the complete fucking opposite of that one in every way! Complete misfire of a song choice. THUMBS DOWN.
"Take Back The City" - Snow Patrol
Yep, I hate Snow Patrol too. Moaning horseshit disguised as Rock that everyone I grew up with fucking loved. I will say this though; I do prefer this song to "Chasing Cars" and that one from the Spider-Man film...although I still dislike this song overall. The chorus is like a worse version of the "I'm not scared" part from "New Way Home" - Foo Fighters although the chart isn't awful. Since Snow Patrol were quite popular and this song is definitely the best one of theirs that I've heard, I'm giving it a reluctant THUMBS UP.
"Take What You Take" - Lily Allen
This song actually surprised me when it was announced for the game. I'm not sure if Lily Allen took off in America but she used to be on the radio all the fucking time in the UK. I heard a lot of her tunes on the radio but never this one. If I did hear this one, I probably would've given her a fairer chance instead of judging her based on the shite that charted instead. It's a fun tune with some decent guitar so THUMBS UP for giving me a reason to enjoy Lily Allen's music, something I never thought any of her songs would do.
"The Adventure" - Angels & Airwaves
Now we have one of those modern Pop Rock songs that's all about having "feeeeeeeeeeeelings". Guitar's pretty dull, mostly just strumming single notes although there's plenty of variety in the note formation. Sadly, the song is kinda meh and the outro goes on way too long. I don't know anything about this band so can't recommend an alternative. However, assuming these guys are the American equivalent of UK bands like Franz Ferdinand and Kaiser Chiefs, it would've been good to get songs by bands like Franz Ferdinand and Kaiser Chiefs in the game. They're fairly popular and have fun guitar charts, which is probably why they ended up on Band Hero DS/Guitar Hero On Tour: Modern Hits instead. Ah well, THUMBS DOWN.
"The Impression That I Get" - The Mighty Mighty Bosstones
Originally, I had no interest in buying Band Hero...until this song was confirmed for the game's setlist, then I knew I had to buy it. It was a track I requested to be in GH way before Band Hero and thankfully, the guitar chart is everything I hoped for and more. Fun chord sequence and a fun Ska Punk tune to listen to. Definitely the best Mighty Mighty Bosstones song they could've picked and whilst some people would probably want other Ska Punk tracks, this is a straight up THUMBS UP from me.
"Turn Off The Light" - Nelly Furtado
I don't know anything about Nelly Furtado, other than the fact that her name sounds like a cruel and archaic way of referring to someone with special needs, but judging by this song I can also infer that Nelly's never heard of the expression "less is more". This song sounds like she was given a list of available musical effects and instruments to use and instead of choosing ones that compliment each other, she just slammed her hand on the clipboard and blurted out "ALLADEM". That being said, I would probably like this song a lot if it wasn't overproduced. It's a nice melody and the guitar chart is pretty fun! THUMBS UP.
"Walking On Sunshine" - Katrina and the Waves
Another chart that's better than its Rock Band counterpart, mostly due to the variety added with brass on guitar. Other than that though, it's totally appropriate for the game. Fun and catchy tune, somewhat entertaining chart and I literally have no idea if Katrina and the Waves have ever recorded another song in the history of their career so "Walking On Sunshine" is the only choice available. THUMBS UP.
"Wannabe" - Spice Girls
Oh boy, THIS one. The one where the women rap "If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends" and "Slam your body down and wind it all around". The "guitar" chart is pretty laughable but this was clearly picked for the vocals, which I can understand. After all, this is one of those songs where people who like it either do so because they genuinely like the tune or they're doing it ironically because it's so cheesy. I'm neither of those people. THUMBS DOWN. There are better Pop songs to sing and play.
"Warwick Avenue" - Duffy
This is another song I could never get into when it came out. I remember the music video of her crying in black and white but I preferred "Mercy" and "Rain On Your Parade". However, this song has more active guitar than I thought it would and the vocals are pretty damn good. I'm glad we got more Soul in this game, even if it is modern Soul. Plus, they could've picked an Amy Winehouse song. That would've been embarrassing. THUMBS UP.
"When I'm Gone" - 3 Doors Down
On the plus side, this is a Rock song with a decent guitar chart. On the downside, it's by that band that played at Trump's inauguration so they're basically on the same respectability level as one of those bands fronted by a paedophile. Then again, when this song was picked, the world didn't know just how cuntish these cunts were so I suppose it's a THUMBS UP that has aged incredibly poorly.
"Whip It" - Devo
There are several Devo songs they could've picked for this game but I'm glad they picked the obvious choice. "Whip It" is a good tune to listen to on occasion and whilst it's not the most fun guitar chart, it's what it needs to be; easy for the start of the game's career mode. In short, I like this song and it's getting a THUMBS UP.
"Y.M.C.A." - Village People
This song is responsible for a funny scene in Wayne's World 2 and a hilarious joke in The Life And Times Of Tim. Other than that, I'm struggling to think of any other benefit to living in a reality where this song exists. It certainly isn't this chart that contains absolutely no guitar despite there being guitar in the song. Sure, it may have that challenging little tap note section throughout but I would taken literally any other 70s Funk/Disco song in its place. Some Bee Gees would've been incredible instead of this...this fucking meme. THUMBS DOWN.
"You Belong With Me" - Taylor Swift
The final song by Taylor Swift-Transition-From-Country-To-Pop-To-Make-More-Money. The lyrics tell a story of a girl singing to a guy she likes about how his girlfriend is wrong for him and that they should be together instead; I have multiple issues with this song. Number 1: Taylor Swift could've had any guy she wanted at school, she was rich and (probably) attractive. Number 2: I don't believe for a second that Taylor would've been the quiet, awkward chick. Taylor Swift was almost certainly the school bitch or at least one of them. 3) "You Belong With Me"? Way to get weirdly possessive about romance, Taylor. If I were a guy in high school, I'd probably want to go out with the girl trying to claim me like a fucking trophy. Once again, it's lowest common denominator pandering. Oh yeah, and the music/guitar chart sucks. THUMBS DOWN.
"You Had Me" - Joss Stone
I hate Joss Stone's voice and, by extension, this song. However, that is one great guitar/clavinet chart. It's also a popular tune so it makes sense to include in this game's setlist AND it's funny to listen to with all the censored lyrics. THUMBS UP.
With that, we reach the end of the setlist and the scores are 35 Thumbs Up to 30 Thumbs Down. Despite being a setlist containing mostly Pop and modern crap, it wins with a 54% approval rating! As for what I've personally gained from revisiting all of the songs/charts, I've learned that whilst there are some good times to be had from trying to FC every song in the game, I've also got a lot of shit to wade through if I want to join the esteemed league of rhythm music gamers who successfully FGFC'd Band Hero about 10 years ago when people gave a shit.
Feel free to join me at twitch.tv/iasg14 to see my suffer through it yourself!
If you want to read about Rock music, feel free to catch up on previous Guitar Hero and Rock Band related blog posts!
"A Million Ways" - OK Go
Of all the OK Go songs to pick for the game, I'm not entirely sure why they went with this one. It probably had something to do with releasing their more popular songs like "Here It Goes Again" and "Do What You Want" as Guitar Hero DLC but either way, this is a relatively forgettable song. It's not the worst Pop Rock song to listen to but they probably would've been better off picking one of the aforementioned OK Go songs with the fun charts and recognisable melodies. THUMBS DOWN.
"ABC" - The Jackson 5
Pretty sure I've talked about this song before but basically, I hate it. I hate the idiotic lyrics, the simplistic music and the fact that everyone else seems to fucking love it. The only decent thing about this song is the drum solo but even that's ruined by the toddler screaming "NO! GEDDUP GURL!" so it's another THUMBS DOWN.
"American Pie" - Don McLean
As far as credits songs go, this is a pretty great choice. Fun chart (even if it does have a lot of piano charted to guitar) and totally appropriate for the game, as the inclusion of a handful of radio friendly Rock songs is the only thing that made this game tolerable. I'm glad they included this song in Band Hero rather than an on-disc GH game so it's getting a THUMBS UP although points should be deducted for the embarrassing censorship of "whiskey" in the chorus...you know, if points were a thing in these posts.
"Angels Of The Silences" - Counting Crows
It's not "Accidentally In Love" so it's not immediately getting a Thumbs Up. That being said, it is a decent tune and the guitar chart's not bad. There are a lot of basic guitar charts in this game and I'm not expecting to be wowed, bumping up the average for what I consider a fun chart. I don't know enough about this band to choose a different/better song so I guess I have no choice but to give it a THUMBS UP.
"Back Again" - Parachute
Not gonna lie, I actually kinda like this song. Guitar chart's pretty fun and the melody is enjoyable. I don't like it enough to listen to the song outside of GH but for the purposes of playing it in a rhythm music game, it gets a THUMBS UP.
"Bad Reputation" - Joan Jett
Mostly just chords and strumming but hey, it's not a bad song...at least not until the key change, THEN it's a bad song. It's also not a bad chart...until the key change, then it's a boring chart. Still, you can thank Shrek for making this song popular enough to include on Band Hero and whilst it's not one I play that often, it's not a song I despise listening to or playing so I'm giving it a THUMBS UP. Plus, I can't think of any other Joan Jett songs that'd be better in this game.
"Beautiful Soul" - Jesse McCartney
Ugh, this song is lame. Bland modern Pop for teenage girls, one step above Jonas Brothers and shit like that. However, the chart isn't awful. It's not great either, as many of the acoustic guitar riffs would've been so much better if they had HOPOs instead of strums, but it's not just a series of chords and strumming. Some thought was put into this song choice but that doesn't stop it from getting a THUMBS DOWN.
"Believe" - The Bravery
I like this song quite a bit. Great bass, decent vocal melodies, catchy chorus and some fun guitar too! This is the kind of song I wish there were more of in Band Hero; modern Pop Rock/Alternative that's got some decent guitar. I understand why the setlist was what it was but it's a shame we didn't get more surprisingly awesome tunes like this one. THUMBS UP.
"Black Cat" - Janet Jackson
First off, this song has a bitchin' guitar riff. It's not the most fun to play but damn, it is great to listen to. After that, the chart's pretty basic...until the guitar solo. This song's guitar solo is surprisingly challenging if you're not expecting it, making it another surprisingly fun tune to play! It's also a great choice from the 80s, as it's not quite cheesy enough to make you grow tired of playing it (see "YMCA") but it's not heavy enough to put off this game's target audience. THUMBS UP.
"Black Horse And The Cherry Tree" - KT Tunstall
Before this game, I knew exactly two KT Tunstall songs: this one and "Suddenly I See". I'm glad Band Hero got this song, as it's my personal favourite. Fun guitar and a great lively rhythm. It's definitely a song for vocalists but it helps that there's some solid guitar throughout too, earning it another THUMBS UP.
"Bring Me To Life" - Evanescence
I hate this song. Whiny, affected, pseudo-Rock bollocks. On the one hand, I'm glad this track was included in Band Hero instead of a Guitar Hero game/DLC but on the other, it's a terrible song and I would've been perfectly content had it never disgraced any of the Hero games. Anyway, enough about my personal distaste towards the song; how's the chart? Well, it's basically just chords and strumming with a few sustains...so THUMBS DOWN.
"Dirty Little Secret" - The All-American Rejects
Never been into these guys, although I doubt any of you will be that surprised. These guys are safe Pop Rock for edgy teenage girls so their songs tend to sound the same. That being said, I don't hate this song or chart. It's run-of-the-mill for this game so I guess it belongs here as much as any other All-American Rejects tune. I'm on the fence about this one but I'm going to give them a THUMBS UP because I sort of like the guitar riff. Just a shame it's stapled to this song.
"Do You Really Want To Hurt Me" - Culture Club
80s Pop song? Cool! This particular 80s Pop song? Oh. I guess it's an alright song with a good easy chart for the start of the game's career mode, although I personally would've preferred "Karma Chameleon" or some other 80s New Wave song, as there were plenty with fun guitar. Some Blondie perhaps, maybe "Echo Beach" - Martha And The Muffins? Yeah, now that I think about it, I don't like this song. The chorus is annoying and it forms the majority of the song's melody. THUMBS DOWN.
"Don't Speak" - No Doubt
One of two songs by No Doubt in this game and I have to say, I hate both songs equally! Boring guitar, irritating vocals, just really bland performances by everyone all-round. Fuck No Doubt. THUMBS DOWN.
"Every Rose Has Its Thorn" - Poison
As indifferent as I am to this Country song masquerading as a Hair Metal ballad, the guitar chart's actually pretty fun. Some great HOPO riffs and a short but sweet solo. I would've preferred a Hair Metal power ballad like "Home Sweet Home" - Motley Crue but this song's a good choice, I suppose. Probably more accessible than "Home Sweet Home" too. THUMBS UP.
"Fascination" - Alphabeat
I remember hearing this song's chorus in TV ads a lot which put me off it for a while. However, after listening to the song in full, I actually sort of like it! Catchy melody and some decent guitar (although plenty of awkward strumming too), plus it's upbeat Pop so definitely the perfect music for this game. There are a bunch of other upbeat chart songs I would probably have preferred in this game but I can't think of a good enough reason to give it a Thumbs Down so, by process of elimination, it must earn a THUMBS UP.
"Gasoline" - The Airbourne Toxic Event
Oh boy, I love this song! I especially love the heavy guitar riff and HOPO use in this classic Audioslave so...oh, wait. It's not the song I'm thinking of. It's just a modern Rock song that sort of sounds like a worse version of Tom Petty. This song has some fun guitar parts and awkward guitar parts but it's getting a THUMBS UP for being a moderately challenging guitar chart in comparison to the rest of the game. Plus, it's not just pre-pubescent teenage Pop Rock so it deserves some credit for that.
"Hands Down" - Dashboard Confessional
Aaaaand here's the pre-pubescent teenage Pop Rock. Chart's mostly chord strumming but there are some fun riffs here and there. Unfortunately, most of them would be more fun with HOPOs instead of strum notes but at least they're good riffs to listen to. I know nothing about this band (I don't think I even played this song in Band Hero) so can't comment on what song would be a better choice but since it's a decent Pop Rock tune with a fun chart, it deserves a THUMBS UP.
"Hang Me Up To Dry" - Cold War Kids
THUMBS DOWN to this boring ass, Radiohead-wannabe Indie song with its tedious guitar chart and uninspired music. That's all that needs to be said about this track.
"Happy Together" - The Turtles
This song is popular enough to belong in this game and even though the guitar chart is easy, it contains a fair amount of variety to make it slightly more fun. However, I personally would've preferred more focus on the guitar and less on the annoying brass in the chorus. Still, this is a solid pick for Band Hero. THUMBS UP.
"Honky Tonk Woman" - The Rolling Stones
Bobby Kotick loves his Rolling Stones, huh. Of all their songs to be in Band Hero, this probably has to be one of the more sensible choices. Guitar's OK but nothing special, just like all the other Rolling Stones songs, and it's a relatively well known tune of theirs without being as "heavy" as bigger hits like "Jumpin' Jack Flash" and "Paint It, Black" (which was already in GH3). I'm a little surprised they didn't go for something like "Start Me Up" or "Brown Sugar" but either way, I can't complain about this song's inclusion when the alternative probably wouldn't have been much better. THUMBS UP.
"I Heard It Through The Grapevine" - Marvin Gaye
This game also has plenty of R&B/Soul although, for some reason, they decided to not pick R&B/Soul songs with fun guitar and instead choose ones with strings/brass/keys. We didn't get fun Stevie Wonder songs but we got this one with the sexy bass and annoying trill section on guitar. Still, it's a good tune to listen to...although a horrible song to play so THUMBS DOWN.
"I Want You To Want Me (Live)" - Cheap Trick
Easily one of the best songs in the game. Fun guitar chart and the best version of this song available, since the At Budokan version doesn't sound as good, the In Color original is Bubblegum Pop and the rerecorded studio version doesn't quite pack the same punch. There are some mildly awkward sections but with practise, this song is easy to master and a blast to play. Plus it's one of Cheap Trick's most famous songs that hasn't already been in Guitar Hero so THUMBS UP.
"If You Could Only See" - Tonic
It would've been awesome if this game had a bunch of 90s Alternative Rock songs that crossed into mainstream radio territory, stuff like "Jumper" - Third Eye Blind and "Shine" - Collective Soul. Unfortunately, we got songs like this. Non-threatening 90s Pop Rock with fairly unimpressive guitar for 17 year old girls. That's what happens when a bunch of businessmen in suits thinktank a setlist for a target demographic currently uninterested in rhythm music video games. THUMBS DOWN.
"In A Big Country" - Big Country
Despite being the single edit, this is definitely more fun than the Rock Band 3 chart. It's got some mildly awkward sections but it's still a good chart and a great song to listen to. I don't really know anything else about this band but I'm guessing it's one of their most popular songs, seeing as how they named themselves after it. Regardless of the song/band's origins, it gets a THUMBS UP for sounding different to the average Band Hero song and for being an enjoyable experience to play.
"Just A Girl" - No Doubt
Hey, the circus clowns are back with their Pop Rock cover of the Rugrats theme! I'm sure this was intended to be a sarcastic comment on the perception of women in the media but Gwen Stefani really did a shit job of sounding frustrated at the injustice she faces. In fact, she seems better at singing the borderline slutty girly girl sections more than the "Fuck you and your misogyny" chorus parts. THUMBS DOWN for many reasons including failing to do what artists like Chrissie Hynde (Pretenders) do so fucking brilliantly.
"Kids" - Robbie Williams & Kylie Minogue
Definitely picked for the vocal melody in the chorus but it just so happens that this song has some fairly active guitar too. I suppose I'm glad that we got this song instead of a Robbie Williams song AND a Kylie Minogue one (unless the Robbie Williams one was "A Man For All Seasons") but it's not one I'd want to play often. That being said, it is quite funny listening to Robbie Williams' embarrassing rap in the outro so THUMBS UP for making me chuckle and entertaining me with the guitar chart, I suppose.
"Kung-Fu Fighting" - Carl Douglas
MUCH better than the Lego Rock Band chart, since that version is just chords and strumming. This chart has sections where you play the "DEE-DEE-DEE-DEE-DI-DI-DOO-DOO-DI" bit on tap notes throughout, adding more variety and sparing your strumming wrist from repetitive strain injury. It's also a fun little catchy tune that kids and families probably enjoyed playing together, since it's a universally recognised song. THUMBS UP for being a solid choice and having a tolerable chart.
"L.E.S. Artistes" - Santigold
Boring chart and song. "Say Aha" would've been better in every way. THUMBS DOWN.
"Let's Dance" - David Bowie
Ugh, this song. Boring as fuck in Lego Rock Band and just plain boring in Band Hero, even with the dull brass charted. Seriously, of all the David Bowie songs, this was their best choice? Not "Life On Mars", "Heroes?", "Modern Love", "The Jean Genie", all the other songs I mention when complaining about David Bowie song choices for video games? THUMBS DOWN.
"Lifeline" - Papa Roach
One of the hardest songs in the game although, by any other game's standard, it's pretty fucking easy. Edgy teen Rock with some fun guitar but mostly just strumming when it's not the main riff. I don't know any other better Papa Roach songs but if you want modern Rock with relatively challenging guitar, there's no short supply. Hell, a Foo Fighters song would've done instead of this repetitive shite. THUMBS DOWN.
"Like Whoa" - Aly & AJ
This song's first lyric is "Life is good, I can't complain, I mean I could but no-one's listening". She's complaining about how nobody's listening to her complaining. That should give you an insight into how much I dislike this Disney shit. It just sucks musically, lyrically and from a charting perspective. Aside from one small fast strumming section, it has nothing going for it on guitar. THUMBS DOWN.
"Lips Of An Angel" - Hinder
Modern Hard Pop Rock, just what we were missing! I'm surprised this game didn't have any Creed or Nickelback to go with this song but hey, at least it's not that bland. There's some fun to be had on guitar...like, a tiny minuscule amount. Yet again, it's another song picked to sing along to but at least it's a Rock song instead of more anaemic Pop. THUMBS UP.
"Love Is A Battlefield" - Pat Benatar
Awesome song, great guitar chart (complete with bitchin' solo), totally suitable for this game. One of the best songs in Band Hero and I feel no shame in saying that. THUMBS UP.
"Love Story" - Taylor Swift
The first of three songs by Taylor Swift, an artist who started off with Country Pop before transitioning to just Pop because it made her more money/was easier to sell. This complete crap with dull guitar and cliched lyrics about Romeo & Juliet written by an eleven year-old is a perfect example of a song that deserves a THUMBS DOWN. Can't wait to see what else Taylor has to offer!
"Mr. Roboto" - Styx
Hats off to Activision for getting the original version of this song instead of a rerecording, which is probably why it didn't export to other games. Anyway, I love this song! Guitar chart's OK, nothing fancy but it's exactly what it needed to be for this song. The track itself is probably the best Styx song to choose, since some of their other Pop songs are probably a bit too much on the Prog side like "Come Sail Away" although I think I would've been happy with most popular Styx songs. THUMBS UP.
"Naive" - The Kooks
Hate The Kooks and this song. If it was "Sofa Song" or "She Moves In Her Own Way", MAYBE I would've been less harsh but instead, we got this wank. On the plus side, it's more active guitar than a lot of other songs on this list but sadly, it's all in service of a song I wouldn't listen to even if it drowned out the sound of my parents fucking. THUMBS DOWN.
"Ocean Avenue" - Yellowcard
I've listened to this song a bunch of times and I still can't remember anything about it. It's just generic weeny Pop Punk and certainly no "The Takedown". However, I'm guessing it's also this band's most popular song so it's a logical choice for the game. Plus, aside from all the chord strumming, there are some fun HOPO/tap note sections. Ah, what the hell. THUMBS UP for not being an awful Pop Punk song like "Stacy's Mom" or "Teenage Dirtbag".
"Oh, Pretty Woman" - Roy Orbison
Yeah, I like this song's riff. I prefer it to the one in the Van Halen cover too, although the rest of the song is pretty dull. If I'm being honest, I'm not entirely sure why this song was in the game as I doubt the target audience are that familiar with it to the point that they'd love to play/sing it. Some 60s songs like "Happy Together" that have reached a certain level of cultural acceptance are understandable but Roy Orbison ain't reaching the teens, I'll tell you that much. Plus, I probably would've preferred some other piece of Pop Rock from the 60s. Maybe something by Herman's Hermits or Jefferson Airplane? "Somebody To Love" would've been a great choice for this game. THUMBS DOWN, I'm afraid.
"Our Lips Are Sealed" - The Go-Go's
Meh, I prefer the Fun Boy Three version of this song. Once again, it's serviceable 80s Pop Rock but I would've preferred some Blondie, as something like "Atomic" or "Call Me" probably would've been more enjoyable on guitar. However, personal taste aside, this song is suitable for the game and probably more popular than I'm aware of so THUMBS UP.
"Paralyzer" - Finger Eleven
Whilst I personally prefer the song "Living In A Dream" by this band, this is the bigger single and still has plenty of guitar throughout so it's the better choice for the game. Plus, I think "Living In A Dream" hadn't been released when this game came out so really, it's the only choice by this band. THUMBS UP despite the awkward guitar riff in the verse.
"Picture To Burn" - Taylor Swift
Yee-haw, more Country from the artist we're all supposed to worship for some reason. However, of all the Taylor Swift songs to pick for the game, this is probably the best since "Shake It Off" hadn't been released yet. It's actually got some fun guitar, complete with banjo licks and a sweet solo. If you want a fun guitar chart and can tune out the terrible lyrics (seriously, they're fucking awful), you'll get some joy out of this. THUMBS UP.
"Pictures Of You" - The Last Goodnight
What is this shit and why did they censor "gun" in the lyrics? Don't want to toddlers playing this game to know weapons exist? THUMBS DOWN.
"Put Your Records On" - Corinne Bailey Rae
I fucking hate this song. I remember hearing it on the radio all the fucking time growing up and hating every second of it. This was clearly another song picked for the purpose of singing along with friends in your bedroom after school, hence the dull guitar chart and the THUMBS DOWN I'm giving it.
"Rio" - Duran Duran
There are exactly two songs by Duran Duran that I like and since Guitar Hero 5 got the other one, I'm glad Band Hero got this one. It's also much more fun than the Rock Band chart, which was simultaneously boring AND awkward on guitar. Granted there's brass charted with tap notes here but I'm OK with that. I'm also OK with this particular 80s Pop song being in the game so THUMBS UP.
"Rock Star" - N.E.R.D.
I would genuinely have preferred the Nickelback song "Rock Star" over this trash performed by more Hip Hop cunts who don't understand what the term "Rock Star" means. THUMBS DOWN.
"Santa Monica" - Everclear
This bland Surf Rock song means absolutely nothing to me and the fact that it exists annoys me, as it meant a potentially better 90s/00s Alternative Rock song lost a place on this game's setlist. There are some decent HOPO sections that last precisely half a second each and the rest of the song consists of chords and sustains. Boring track and chart. THUMBS DOWN.
"She Will Be Loved" - Maroon 5
Hey hey, it's the other circus clown that was playable in the game, Adam Levine! It'll come as no surprise to you that I fucking hate Maroon 5 on account of having working ears connected to a functioning brain so we all know the verdict I'm going to give this generic Pop shite...but let's spend some time dicking on the track a little more, shall we? Dull 4/4 strumming, uninspired vocal melodies (anyone else hear touches of early 00s Red Hot Chili Peppers in the chorus?), absolutely no backbone from any of the band members playing on this garbage excuse for a soulful song, an appalling lack of variety in the chart due to the simplistic nature of the song and even though vocalists will probably have a blast wailing along to Patch Adam, it's getting an almighty THUMBS DOWN from me.
"So Yesterday" - Hilary Duff
Remember Hilary Duff? You do? Why? Anyway, she has a song with a name almost as annoying as the thought of Hilary Duff. Unsurprisingly, the guitar chart is dull and repetitive and the songis even worse than I thought a song called "So Yesterday" would be. THUMBS DOWN.
"Steal My Kisses" - Ben Harper & The Innocent Criminals
Jesus, we're fully into the shit now, aren't we? More generic chord strumming to a funky rhythm in a sorry excuse for a 90s Surf Rock tune. Serious question, how did Activision fuck up the setlist this badly? Harmonix had the right idea with Lego Rock Band but Activision clearly had no clue, almost as if the setlist was picked by about eight cynical businessmen with a collective age of 430 years after a few hours Googling "What do youngsters listen to?" or asking a single intern what was on their iPod. THUMBS DOWN.
"Sugar, We're Going' Down" - Fall Out Boy
....I mean, I can't fault the inclusion of Fall Out Boy in Band Hero, as much as I dislike their pipsqueak brand of "Rock". What I am confused about is why they also appeared in Guitar Hero Warriors Of Rock, since I thought this game served an unintended purpose of attracting terrible Pop Rock songs away from GH like a black hole for non-edgy teen music? Anyway, the guitar chart is average. Chords, strumming, a decent HOPO outro and some relatively challenging rhythms for those unfamiliar with the game but otherwise, just a dull experience in comparison to some of their other songs like "Thnks Fr Th Mmrs" or "Dead On Arrival". THUMBS DOWN.
"Take A Picture" - Filter
This song is only six minutes long but my God, it felt like double that when I played it in Band Hero. Anyway, what can I say about the chart? How about "hope you like chord strumming, kids!" as that's all this song is...for six minutes. In what world could someone find this an objectively enjoyable experience on guitar, especially when compared to their other song in GH, "Hey Man, Nice Shot"? I mean, this song is the complete fucking opposite of that one in every way! Complete misfire of a song choice. THUMBS DOWN.
"Take Back The City" - Snow Patrol
Yep, I hate Snow Patrol too. Moaning horseshit disguised as Rock that everyone I grew up with fucking loved. I will say this though; I do prefer this song to "Chasing Cars" and that one from the Spider-Man film...although I still dislike this song overall. The chorus is like a worse version of the "I'm not scared" part from "New Way Home" - Foo Fighters although the chart isn't awful. Since Snow Patrol were quite popular and this song is definitely the best one of theirs that I've heard, I'm giving it a reluctant THUMBS UP.
"Take What You Take" - Lily Allen
This song actually surprised me when it was announced for the game. I'm not sure if Lily Allen took off in America but she used to be on the radio all the fucking time in the UK. I heard a lot of her tunes on the radio but never this one. If I did hear this one, I probably would've given her a fairer chance instead of judging her based on the shite that charted instead. It's a fun tune with some decent guitar so THUMBS UP for giving me a reason to enjoy Lily Allen's music, something I never thought any of her songs would do.
"The Adventure" - Angels & Airwaves
Now we have one of those modern Pop Rock songs that's all about having "feeeeeeeeeeeelings". Guitar's pretty dull, mostly just strumming single notes although there's plenty of variety in the note formation. Sadly, the song is kinda meh and the outro goes on way too long. I don't know anything about this band so can't recommend an alternative. However, assuming these guys are the American equivalent of UK bands like Franz Ferdinand and Kaiser Chiefs, it would've been good to get songs by bands like Franz Ferdinand and Kaiser Chiefs in the game. They're fairly popular and have fun guitar charts, which is probably why they ended up on Band Hero DS/Guitar Hero On Tour: Modern Hits instead. Ah well, THUMBS DOWN.
"The Impression That I Get" - The Mighty Mighty Bosstones
Originally, I had no interest in buying Band Hero...until this song was confirmed for the game's setlist, then I knew I had to buy it. It was a track I requested to be in GH way before Band Hero and thankfully, the guitar chart is everything I hoped for and more. Fun chord sequence and a fun Ska Punk tune to listen to. Definitely the best Mighty Mighty Bosstones song they could've picked and whilst some people would probably want other Ska Punk tracks, this is a straight up THUMBS UP from me.
"Turn Off The Light" - Nelly Furtado
I don't know anything about Nelly Furtado, other than the fact that her name sounds like a cruel and archaic way of referring to someone with special needs, but judging by this song I can also infer that Nelly's never heard of the expression "less is more". This song sounds like she was given a list of available musical effects and instruments to use and instead of choosing ones that compliment each other, she just slammed her hand on the clipboard and blurted out "ALLADEM". That being said, I would probably like this song a lot if it wasn't overproduced. It's a nice melody and the guitar chart is pretty fun! THUMBS UP.
"Walking On Sunshine" - Katrina and the Waves
Another chart that's better than its Rock Band counterpart, mostly due to the variety added with brass on guitar. Other than that though, it's totally appropriate for the game. Fun and catchy tune, somewhat entertaining chart and I literally have no idea if Katrina and the Waves have ever recorded another song in the history of their career so "Walking On Sunshine" is the only choice available. THUMBS UP.
"Wannabe" - Spice Girls
Oh boy, THIS one. The one where the women rap "If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends" and "Slam your body down and wind it all around". The "guitar" chart is pretty laughable but this was clearly picked for the vocals, which I can understand. After all, this is one of those songs where people who like it either do so because they genuinely like the tune or they're doing it ironically because it's so cheesy. I'm neither of those people. THUMBS DOWN. There are better Pop songs to sing and play.
"Warwick Avenue" - Duffy
This is another song I could never get into when it came out. I remember the music video of her crying in black and white but I preferred "Mercy" and "Rain On Your Parade". However, this song has more active guitar than I thought it would and the vocals are pretty damn good. I'm glad we got more Soul in this game, even if it is modern Soul. Plus, they could've picked an Amy Winehouse song. That would've been embarrassing. THUMBS UP.
"When I'm Gone" - 3 Doors Down
On the plus side, this is a Rock song with a decent guitar chart. On the downside, it's by that band that played at Trump's inauguration so they're basically on the same respectability level as one of those bands fronted by a paedophile. Then again, when this song was picked, the world didn't know just how cuntish these cunts were so I suppose it's a THUMBS UP that has aged incredibly poorly.
"Whip It" - Devo
There are several Devo songs they could've picked for this game but I'm glad they picked the obvious choice. "Whip It" is a good tune to listen to on occasion and whilst it's not the most fun guitar chart, it's what it needs to be; easy for the start of the game's career mode. In short, I like this song and it's getting a THUMBS UP.
"Y.M.C.A." - Village People
This song is responsible for a funny scene in Wayne's World 2 and a hilarious joke in The Life And Times Of Tim. Other than that, I'm struggling to think of any other benefit to living in a reality where this song exists. It certainly isn't this chart that contains absolutely no guitar despite there being guitar in the song. Sure, it may have that challenging little tap note section throughout but I would taken literally any other 70s Funk/Disco song in its place. Some Bee Gees would've been incredible instead of this...this fucking meme. THUMBS DOWN.
"You Belong With Me" - Taylor Swift
The final song by Taylor Swift-Transition-From-Country-To-Pop-To-Make-More-Money. The lyrics tell a story of a girl singing to a guy she likes about how his girlfriend is wrong for him and that they should be together instead; I have multiple issues with this song. Number 1: Taylor Swift could've had any guy she wanted at school, she was rich and (probably) attractive. Number 2: I don't believe for a second that Taylor would've been the quiet, awkward chick. Taylor Swift was almost certainly the school bitch or at least one of them. 3) "You Belong With Me"? Way to get weirdly possessive about romance, Taylor. If I were a guy in high school, I'd probably want to go out with the girl trying to claim me like a fucking trophy. Once again, it's lowest common denominator pandering. Oh yeah, and the music/guitar chart sucks. THUMBS DOWN.
"You Had Me" - Joss Stone
I hate Joss Stone's voice and, by extension, this song. However, that is one great guitar/clavinet chart. It's also a popular tune so it makes sense to include in this game's setlist AND it's funny to listen to with all the censored lyrics. THUMBS UP.
With that, we reach the end of the setlist and the scores are 35 Thumbs Up to 30 Thumbs Down. Despite being a setlist containing mostly Pop and modern crap, it wins with a 54% approval rating! As for what I've personally gained from revisiting all of the songs/charts, I've learned that whilst there are some good times to be had from trying to FC every song in the game, I've also got a lot of shit to wade through if I want to join the esteemed league of rhythm music gamers who successfully FGFC'd Band Hero about 10 years ago when people gave a shit.
Feel free to join me at twitch.tv/iasg14 to see my suffer through it yourself!
Thursday, 31 January 2019
The RARRAMAMSPAs 2019
It was a smashing success last year so I'm bringing it back again, it is....
The Riffs And Raffs Rock And Metal (And Maybe Some Pop) Awards!
Since this is the second time I'm doing this, there'll be similarities and differences between the RARRAMAMSPAs from 2018. Namely, the award categories will contain a blend of old and new, as some categories may not apply as effectively to the last year's music. Once again, I feel it's necessary to remind you that these awards aren't meant to be taken seriously (just like every single awards show in the history of awards shows, yada yada yada) and that my opinion on albums I rate highly in this post might change throughout the course of the year.
With that in mind, let's celebrate a slight improvement over 2017's musical banquet!
The "Boston Zeppelin Through The Night" Award for
BEST ROCK ALBUM
The album I valued the most that belonged to the Rock genre, including various subgenres such as Southern Rock, Hard Rock and Shoegazing. It does NOT include Metal, Pop and their subgenres.
And the nominees are...
Prequelle - Ghost
Living The Dream - Slash, feat. Myles Kennedy & The Conspirators
Used Future - The Sword
Living The Dream - Uriah Heep
And the winner is...
Prequelle - Ghost for being the single greatest album I've listened to in a long, long time. Some may call this a Metal album but to me, it rides the line between Rock and Metal in a way that can include the better aspects of both genres...hence, it counts!
The "Screaming For Powerslave In Peace" Award for
BEST METAL ALBUM
The album I valued the most that belonged to the Metal genre, including various subgenres such as Hair Metal and that's about it. It does NOT include Rock, Pop and their subgenres.
And the nominees are...
Firepower - Judas Priest
Thunderbolt - Saxon
The Sacrament Of Sin - Powerwolf
Used Future - The Sword
And the winner is...
Prequelle - Ghost for being the SINGLE GREATEST ALBUM I've listened to in a long, long time that contains aspects of Rock AND Metal so fuck you, it wins this one as well. Go listen to Prequelle and tell me I'm wrong. If I had to pick one from the list above to win, I guess it'd be The Sacrament Of Sin - Powerwolf for being a very close runner-up though.
The "Sgt. Pepper's Thriller Sounds" Award for
BEST POP ALBUM
The album I valued the most that belonged to the Pop genre. Pop albums may contain songs with a Rock twist or be recorded by Rock bands so long as it's very clearly a Pop album.
And the nominees are...
Simulation Theory - Muse
Attention Attention - Shinedown
Some Generic Noise - A Sexy Glistening Womanhole
Breathy Acoustic Moaning - A Sexy Pouty Manboy
And the winner is...
Well it's fucking Prequelle - Ghost, isn't it? Who cares about Pop albums on this blog, fact of the matter is Prequelle was the best album of the year. It was so good that an album traversing three different musical genres deserves three separate awards for doing them so perfectly. Out of the albums on the list above, I guess Attention Attention - Shinedown is the best although it really stretches the definition of Pop. Then again, so does Prequelle so feel free to give your own personal award to whichever you think deserves it the most although if it's not Prequelle, I'll be very disappointed.
The "Generation Lulu Or Bust" Award for
MOST PATHETIC ALBUM
The album that could've been decent (or maybe even great) if the band got their shit together and one or more members didn't absolutely phone it in. It's anyone's game in the genre department and once again, you're in the wrong part of the Internet if you want to read about Pop.
And the nominees are...
Simulation Theory - Muse
Post-Apocalypto - Tenacious D
Anthem Of The Peaceful Army - Greta Van Fleet
The Music Made Me Do It - Ted Nugent
And the winner is...
Post-Apocalypto - Tenacious D, hands down. Greta Van Fleet have only released EPs so a disappointing first album isn't quite as pathetic as a fourth record by a band who very clearly rushed the songwriting process to whack something out before the end of the year. The same can be said for Muse, a band familiar with releasing poor albums, and Ted Nugent, an artist who hasn't fallen from the mountain of grace so much as tumbled off a footstool. Mind you, Ted Nugent was very close to winning this one if not for Tenacious D's utter failure.
The "Tyranny And Caress Of Miracles" Award for
MOST UNDERRATED ALBUM OF LAST YEAR
The album from 2017 that deserved some love in last year's RARRAMAMSPAs but took me an entire year to realise it. Rock and Metal albums only in this post, as I don't think any Pop albums are underrated (especially not modern ones).
And the nominees are...
The Mission - Styx
About Time - Horisont
The Knight Of Rebellion - Dream Troll
From The Fires - Greta Van Fleet
And the winner is...
About Time - Horisont. Maybe if Anthem Of The Peaceful Army wasn't so mediocre, From The Fires would've taken this win. However, an album that immediately grabbed me and encouraged me to check out more of the band is definitely one that should've been featured in last year's blog post...although it still probably would've lost to Pinewood Smile - The Darkness.
Now onto the awards for musical moments!
The "Planet Classic Blabbermouth" Award for
BEST NEWS STORY
This award goes to the news story that I'm most proud of bringing to you. The story that I think has the best details and most imaginative series of events that totally happened.
And the nominees are...
Bruce Springsteen Finishes 148 Hour Concert
Kirk Hammett To Face Pedal Abuse Charges
Led Zeppelin Are Not Touring Or Recording New Music
K.K. Downing "Still Upset" Over Starbucks Argument
And the winner is...
Led Zeppelin Are Not Touring Or Recording New Music. I like all of these articles but every time I see a tweet about Jimmy Page's new interview or something like that, I'm always reminded of this universal, evergreen article. The Bruce Springsteen one is a close second, mind.
The "Number Of Flames With Rock Of The Night" Award for
BEST RIFF
This award goes to the song with the most awesome riff played on guitar in 2018. Any songs from the Rock, Metal and Pop genre are eligible although let's face it, Pop ain't winning no riff competition. As for which riffs I'm counting (as many great Rock songs feature at least 3 distinguishable riffs), I'm mostly looking for riffs that carry the song's main melody rather than decent ones used sporadically throughout the track
And the nominees are...
"Firepower" - Judas Priest
"Dance Macabre" - Ghost
"Fire And Forgive" - Powerwolf
"Rats" - Ghost
And the winner is...
"Rats" - Ghost. They are REALLY cleaning up tonight, huh.
And finally
The "Master Of Sex Magik...But Who's Buying" Award for
PEOPLE'S FAVOURITE BLOG POST
This award goes to the Riffs And Raffs blog post written/posted in 2018 that had the most views, even if it wasn't my personal favourite or even best piece of writing. Yes, this award might be a little self-congratulatory but fuck it, this is my BBQ so I get to choose the meat.
And the winner is...
Rapid Fire: Motorhead, David Bowie, Tom Petty with 3097 views!
Again, most (if not all) of these are probably bot/spam so if I had to guess, the post with the most actual views is probably this one after I asked people to read it on Twitter. Anyway, numbers!!
Before I finish up, I just wanted to say a few final words regarding blog post plans for the upcoming year.
Over the last couple of years, I set myself the challenge of writing at least one blog post a week (or an equivalent average) to keep my mind focused and my writing talents alive. However, fans of this blog will probably know that most of the blog posts I submitted in 2018 were all done in the last week of the month, hastily typed up just to meet the quota for the year. This was mostly because I was busy with other commitments but I also think it's because I didn't really have a lot to write about towards the end of the year, particularly when Rock/Metal news stories died down and album releases weren't as common.
As a result, I've decided to reduce the amount I'll be posting on this blog.
Don't worry, I'M NOT STOPPING!
I still intend to post album reviews, periodic Here Is The News satire pieces and everything else I usually write. I just won't be posting them as often. There are two main reasons for my decision:
Firstly, whilst I still enjoy writing certain blog posts, I felt that rushing out four posts in a week because I'd left it so late due to lack of inspiration throughout the month didn't result in quality writing. Sure, some of the posts were great but towards the end of the year, I felt like I was scraping the barrel a little. I'd rather write a blog post that I'm proud of after a brilliant idea comes to me than whack out filler posts for the sake of it.
Secondly, people close to me know that I want to get into screenwriting as a profession and I've always told myself that until I can actually get my shit together, writing blog posts helps me improve and keeps me actively doing the thing I want to do for a living. Unfortunately, after some introspection, I feel like I've been using that as an excuse to not pursue my dream. I've set myself the goal of actually writing and submitting a proper script this year (which is coming along nicely, by the way) so I'd rather dedicate my writing energy to that over a series of blog posts about which songs I like in Guitar Hero/Rock Band games.
As I said up above, I WILL STILL BE SUBMITTING BLOG POSTS THROUGHOUT THE YEAR although I'm not going to put a number on exactly how many I intend to write or when I intend to write them. In the meantime, if you want to hear me casually talk about music you can always follow me on Twitter (where I'll be sharing new blog posts) OR check out my Twitch streams where I play Clone Hero and other video games, frequently discussing music and other topics.
Well then, now that that's out of the way, let's try to enjoy 2019 before it's too late!
The Riffs And Raffs Rock And Metal (And Maybe Some Pop) Awards!
Since this is the second time I'm doing this, there'll be similarities and differences between the RARRAMAMSPAs from 2018. Namely, the award categories will contain a blend of old and new, as some categories may not apply as effectively to the last year's music. Once again, I feel it's necessary to remind you that these awards aren't meant to be taken seriously (just like every single awards show in the history of awards shows, yada yada yada) and that my opinion on albums I rate highly in this post might change throughout the course of the year.
With that in mind, let's celebrate a slight improvement over 2017's musical banquet!
The "Boston Zeppelin Through The Night" Award for
BEST ROCK ALBUM
The album I valued the most that belonged to the Rock genre, including various subgenres such as Southern Rock, Hard Rock and Shoegazing. It does NOT include Metal, Pop and their subgenres.
And the nominees are...
Prequelle - Ghost
Living The Dream - Slash, feat. Myles Kennedy & The Conspirators
Used Future - The Sword
Living The Dream - Uriah Heep
And the winner is...
Prequelle - Ghost for being the single greatest album I've listened to in a long, long time. Some may call this a Metal album but to me, it rides the line between Rock and Metal in a way that can include the better aspects of both genres...hence, it counts!
The "Screaming For Powerslave In Peace" Award for
BEST METAL ALBUM
The album I valued the most that belonged to the Metal genre, including various subgenres such as Hair Metal and that's about it. It does NOT include Rock, Pop and their subgenres.
And the nominees are...
Firepower - Judas Priest
Thunderbolt - Saxon
The Sacrament Of Sin - Powerwolf
Used Future - The Sword
And the winner is...
Prequelle - Ghost for being the SINGLE GREATEST ALBUM I've listened to in a long, long time that contains aspects of Rock AND Metal so fuck you, it wins this one as well. Go listen to Prequelle and tell me I'm wrong. If I had to pick one from the list above to win, I guess it'd be The Sacrament Of Sin - Powerwolf for being a very close runner-up though.
The "Sgt. Pepper's Thriller Sounds" Award for
BEST POP ALBUM
The album I valued the most that belonged to the Pop genre. Pop albums may contain songs with a Rock twist or be recorded by Rock bands so long as it's very clearly a Pop album.
And the nominees are...
Simulation Theory - Muse
Attention Attention - Shinedown
Some Generic Noise - A Sexy Glistening Womanhole
Breathy Acoustic Moaning - A Sexy Pouty Manboy
And the winner is...
Well it's fucking Prequelle - Ghost, isn't it? Who cares about Pop albums on this blog, fact of the matter is Prequelle was the best album of the year. It was so good that an album traversing three different musical genres deserves three separate awards for doing them so perfectly. Out of the albums on the list above, I guess Attention Attention - Shinedown is the best although it really stretches the definition of Pop. Then again, so does Prequelle so feel free to give your own personal award to whichever you think deserves it the most although if it's not Prequelle, I'll be very disappointed.
The "Generation Lulu Or Bust" Award for
MOST PATHETIC ALBUM
The album that could've been decent (or maybe even great) if the band got their shit together and one or more members didn't absolutely phone it in. It's anyone's game in the genre department and once again, you're in the wrong part of the Internet if you want to read about Pop.
And the nominees are...
Simulation Theory - Muse
Post-Apocalypto - Tenacious D
Anthem Of The Peaceful Army - Greta Van Fleet
The Music Made Me Do It - Ted Nugent
And the winner is...
Post-Apocalypto - Tenacious D, hands down. Greta Van Fleet have only released EPs so a disappointing first album isn't quite as pathetic as a fourth record by a band who very clearly rushed the songwriting process to whack something out before the end of the year. The same can be said for Muse, a band familiar with releasing poor albums, and Ted Nugent, an artist who hasn't fallen from the mountain of grace so much as tumbled off a footstool. Mind you, Ted Nugent was very close to winning this one if not for Tenacious D's utter failure.
The "Tyranny And Caress Of Miracles" Award for
MOST UNDERRATED ALBUM OF LAST YEAR
The album from 2017 that deserved some love in last year's RARRAMAMSPAs but took me an entire year to realise it. Rock and Metal albums only in this post, as I don't think any Pop albums are underrated (especially not modern ones).
And the nominees are...
The Mission - Styx
About Time - Horisont
The Knight Of Rebellion - Dream Troll
From The Fires - Greta Van Fleet
And the winner is...
About Time - Horisont. Maybe if Anthem Of The Peaceful Army wasn't so mediocre, From The Fires would've taken this win. However, an album that immediately grabbed me and encouraged me to check out more of the band is definitely one that should've been featured in last year's blog post...although it still probably would've lost to Pinewood Smile - The Darkness.
Now onto the awards for musical moments!
The "Planet Classic Blabbermouth" Award for
BEST NEWS STORY
This award goes to the news story that I'm most proud of bringing to you. The story that I think has the best details and most imaginative series of events that totally happened.
And the nominees are...
Bruce Springsteen Finishes 148 Hour Concert
Kirk Hammett To Face Pedal Abuse Charges
Led Zeppelin Are Not Touring Or Recording New Music
K.K. Downing "Still Upset" Over Starbucks Argument
And the winner is...
Led Zeppelin Are Not Touring Or Recording New Music. I like all of these articles but every time I see a tweet about Jimmy Page's new interview or something like that, I'm always reminded of this universal, evergreen article. The Bruce Springsteen one is a close second, mind.
The "Number Of Flames With Rock Of The Night" Award for
BEST RIFF
This award goes to the song with the most awesome riff played on guitar in 2018. Any songs from the Rock, Metal and Pop genre are eligible although let's face it, Pop ain't winning no riff competition. As for which riffs I'm counting (as many great Rock songs feature at least 3 distinguishable riffs), I'm mostly looking for riffs that carry the song's main melody rather than decent ones used sporadically throughout the track
And the nominees are...
"Firepower" - Judas Priest
"Dance Macabre" - Ghost
"Fire And Forgive" - Powerwolf
"Rats" - Ghost
And the winner is...
"Rats" - Ghost. They are REALLY cleaning up tonight, huh.
And finally
The "Master Of Sex Magik...But Who's Buying" Award for
PEOPLE'S FAVOURITE BLOG POST
This award goes to the Riffs And Raffs blog post written/posted in 2018 that had the most views, even if it wasn't my personal favourite or even best piece of writing. Yes, this award might be a little self-congratulatory but fuck it, this is my BBQ so I get to choose the meat.
And the winner is...
Rapid Fire: Motorhead, David Bowie, Tom Petty with 3097 views!
Again, most (if not all) of these are probably bot/spam so if I had to guess, the post with the most actual views is probably this one after I asked people to read it on Twitter. Anyway, numbers!!
Before I finish up, I just wanted to say a few final words regarding blog post plans for the upcoming year.
Over the last couple of years, I set myself the challenge of writing at least one blog post a week (or an equivalent average) to keep my mind focused and my writing talents alive. However, fans of this blog will probably know that most of the blog posts I submitted in 2018 were all done in the last week of the month, hastily typed up just to meet the quota for the year. This was mostly because I was busy with other commitments but I also think it's because I didn't really have a lot to write about towards the end of the year, particularly when Rock/Metal news stories died down and album releases weren't as common.
As a result, I've decided to reduce the amount I'll be posting on this blog.
Don't worry, I'M NOT STOPPING!
I still intend to post album reviews, periodic Here Is The News satire pieces and everything else I usually write. I just won't be posting them as often. There are two main reasons for my decision:
Firstly, whilst I still enjoy writing certain blog posts, I felt that rushing out four posts in a week because I'd left it so late due to lack of inspiration throughout the month didn't result in quality writing. Sure, some of the posts were great but towards the end of the year, I felt like I was scraping the barrel a little. I'd rather write a blog post that I'm proud of after a brilliant idea comes to me than whack out filler posts for the sake of it.
Secondly, people close to me know that I want to get into screenwriting as a profession and I've always told myself that until I can actually get my shit together, writing blog posts helps me improve and keeps me actively doing the thing I want to do for a living. Unfortunately, after some introspection, I feel like I've been using that as an excuse to not pursue my dream. I've set myself the goal of actually writing and submitting a proper script this year (which is coming along nicely, by the way) so I'd rather dedicate my writing energy to that over a series of blog posts about which songs I like in Guitar Hero/Rock Band games.
As I said up above, I WILL STILL BE SUBMITTING BLOG POSTS THROUGHOUT THE YEAR although I'm not going to put a number on exactly how many I intend to write or when I intend to write them. In the meantime, if you want to hear me casually talk about music you can always follow me on Twitter (where I'll be sharing new blog posts) OR check out my Twitch streams where I play Clone Hero and other video games, frequently discussing music and other topics.
Well then, now that that's out of the way, let's try to enjoy 2019 before it's too late!
Monday, 31 December 2018
Tenology: My Ten Favourite Rock/Metal Songs Of 2018
Well, here we are again. End of the year which means it's time to look back at all the new albums and singles I've enjoyed throughout 2018 and present them in a list of no particular order. That's right, this is NOT a "Top 10" post where the first or last song in the entry is the greatest song of the year, nor is it a ranking list of my favourite songs after listening to every Rock/Metal album released. There will be omissions and there will be no real reason for putting the ten songs I've picked in the specific order listed below, other than "because I wanted to do it this way".
Fortunately, I'll probably cover those omissions in a 2020 blog post in a similar manner to the one I'm planning for early 2019 where I'll be looking at songs from 2017 that I really enjoyed yet didn't listen to until some time in 2018. Got that? No? Too bad. One last thing before I start: I've included a Spotify playlist at the bottom of this post so you can listen to all the songs I've rated (honourable mentions and all!) whilst reading about why I liked them. It's also an opportunity for you to hear songs I really liked and would recommend in case you missed them. Right, let's do this!
1. "When The Curtain Falls" - Greta Van Fleet
When I reviewed Anthem Of The Peaceful Army a couple of months ago, I was largely indifferent to the majority of the songs due to how disappointing it was in comparison to the band's EP From The Fires. However, there were some songs I really liked and my favourite had to be lead single, "When The Curtain Falls". Great riff, shrill vocals and catchy melodies throughout, not to mention a decent solo to play us out. If you liked From The Fires but haven't listened to Anthem Of The Peaceful Army yet, you're probably better off listening to this song and maybe a handful of others instead of the whole album. Personal taste will depend on the other songs I'd recommend but regardless of what you're into, I'll always recommend this one.
2. "Firepower" - Judas Priest
Another song from an album I reviewed on the blog; don't worry, there'll be some tracks I haven't discussed before here too. The latest Judas Priest album was essentially a love letter to fans of the band's earlier material, combining good aspects of Painkiller, Screaming For Vengeance and British Steel with a modern twist. "Firepower" is a great title track and album opener with awesome riffs and fantastic vocals, exactly what was needed to remind fans that the band could still kick ass. There were other belters on the album too and who knows, maybe you'll see a few more in this post...
3. "Venom Of Venus" - Powerwolf
I only just finished writing about The Sacrament Of Sin, a great Power Metal album that contains a load of great tunes with heavy riffing and mild solos. However, for an album that's strength lies in its melodic nature, "Venom Of Venus" was the track that got me invested more than any other. The vocals steal the show, although the rest of the band bring the thunder too. However, I was also tempted to include "Fire & Forgive", "The Sacrament Of Sin" or "Fist By Fist (Sacralize Or Strike)" on this list too, although I feel like this song will stick with me longer than those.
4. "Fuchsia Machu Picchu" - Joachim Cooder
...who? Yeah, I heard this song on the radio one day and loved it. Great thumping rhythm, nice vocals, funky riffs and mystical accompaniments. I guess this is more of a Rock song than Pop, although it's probably the closest thing to Pop on this list. I haven't listened to any other songs by Joachim Cooder but if I hear something else by him/them (?) that I like, I'll be sure to check more tunes out. Until then, at least we've got this strange little number that I bet none of you ever expected to see on this list.
5. "Miasma" - Ghost
I'm mixing the formula up a bit by putting my number one favourite song of the year (from my number one favourite album of the year, as reviewed here) at the midway point of the post, rather than at the end like the last two from 2016/2017. This instrumental is fucking great and just goes from strength to strength as the song progresses. By the three minute mark, the song's taken off and before you know it, there are solos played on not just guitar and synth but also a fucking saxophone. This Metal instrumental finds a way of making a saxophone solo sound badass and for that reason alone, it deserves a spot on this list.
6. "Necromancer" - Judas Priest
Hey, look at that, Judas Priest showed up again! Revisiting some of my favourite songs from 2018 (a list that previously had about 30 different tracks in it), I tried to give songs by a wider variety of artists a chance but at the end of the day, I found myself enjoying multiple Judas Priest tracks over ones by Shinedown and Saxon. Whilst "Firepower" is probably my number one favourite off the album, "Necromancer" is a very close second. The faster tempo in the verse to give the song a driving rhythm is great and come on, if there's one thing Judas Priest knows how to do it's write awesome themes for their own mythological characters.
7. "Firewalker" - King Zebra
This was another song recommended to me that I ended up loving. Granted it might be a little similar to some of the others on this list (you can tell I definitely have a specific taste!) but when a band I've never heard of gets my attention as fast as King Zebra did with this song, I know they're worth mentioning. Fortunately for them, their song was great enough to earn a place on the full list and not just the honourable mentions so if you like NWOTHM, check this song out!
8. "Sugar Cane" - Slash, feat. Myles Kennedy & The Conspirators
This song nearly didn't make it in the list! I completely forgot about this album until I started writing the post and after revisiting a few tracks that I remembered enjoying, I found myself wanting to come back to this song over all the others. Awesome Slash riffs, fantastic Myles Kennedy vocals in the chorus and a vibe that makes it sound like the perfect song to fucking jam to in a live gig. There are some other decent tracks on the Slash album too (that I mention in my review found here) but "Sugar Cane" is probably my favourite from it.
9. "Whatever" - Thundermother
Another new song that I heard on the radio once and forgot about for a while until revisiting all of the year's best tunes. Imagine if Halestorm were just a little bit better musically and you've got "Whatever" - Thundermother. You get the same raw vocal talent but with the added benefit of better solos, percussion and general song structure. It's a shame that Thundermother seem to be going through somewhat of a tempestuous period with changing lineups and whatnot but fingers crossed the lineup from this album sticks around for some time!
10. "Rats" - Ghost
I mean, you should've seen this one coming. Even if "Miasma" is my favourite song of the year, "Rats" is a very strong second best from Prequelle. I've talked about the track before but in short, it's got everything needed to make a perfect anthematic Rock song. If you read this blog, you must've heard the song by now. You must know that I fucking love this song and album so it's no surprise that it's on this list.
What MIGHT be a surprise are some of these honourable mentions (in alphabetical order):
"Book Of Thoth" - The Sword
I thought the latest album by The Sword was OK (review here) and had several tracks I was considering for the coveted spot of an honourable mention here. However, in the end, I went with "Book Of Thoth" for containing the heavy riffs I associate with The Sword and some interesting guitar playing too. It's a more memorable song than some of my other favourites from Used Future but it's not quite as good as the tracks listed above. At least not to me, anyway.
"Dance Macabre" - Ghost
Got to fit Ghost in one last time (go fucking listen to Prequelle). Whilst "Miasma" and "Rats" are worthy of a place in the main list, I felt like I couldn't justify three Ghost songs when there were other tracks that needed a place too. Sadly for "Dance Macabre", that meant one song had to be an honourable mention and this ABBA-esque Hard Rock tune drew the short straw. Don't get me wrong though, I still love the track and would recommend it without a moment's hesitation.
"Flame Thrower" - Judas Priest
Yup, same situation with Judas Priest. I liked Firepower and multiple songs on the album grabbed me in an incredibly pleasurable way but I couldn't put three songs off it in the list, hence "Flame Thrower" ending up here instead. I think it was easier moving this song here because I'm not really into the intro that much but once the percussion comes in, everything gets much better.
"Grazed By Heaven" - Uriah Heep
Definitely my favourite song from Living The Dream and probably the most accessible track to casual fans of the band, since it has the Hard Prog sound of guitar/organ harmonies. However, it also boasts some great lengthy solos too so if you only listen to one song from the album, make sure it's this one...which will probably happen anyway, since it's the album opener and lead single.
"The New Day" - Greta Van Fleet
The last song in the post and it's another repeat band! I may have been a bit frosty to their recent album but damn, I love this song's main riff. It's like a glorious blend of early Rush and peak Led Zeppelin...and then the vocals come in. They're so fucking bad in this song, they remind me of Steve Smith from American Dad (played by Scott Grimes) when he does a pained, high pitched scream. Those vocals can work in Hard Rock tracks but when you've got a more Folksy, acoustic-guitar driven melody and softer percussion, you need more delicate vocals. If I could travel across the multiverse and find a version of this song with identical music but someone more tactful than Josh Kiszka behind the mic, this song easily would've made the main ten.
That's it for 2018! I hope you've enjoyed what I've offered on the blog and will (hopefully) continue to offer throughout 2019 too!
Happy New Year to everyone who gives a shit about that sort of thing and see you all in January!
Fortunately, I'll probably cover those omissions in a 2020 blog post in a similar manner to the one I'm planning for early 2019 where I'll be looking at songs from 2017 that I really enjoyed yet didn't listen to until some time in 2018. Got that? No? Too bad. One last thing before I start: I've included a Spotify playlist at the bottom of this post so you can listen to all the songs I've rated (honourable mentions and all!) whilst reading about why I liked them. It's also an opportunity for you to hear songs I really liked and would recommend in case you missed them. Right, let's do this!
1. "When The Curtain Falls" - Greta Van Fleet
When I reviewed Anthem Of The Peaceful Army a couple of months ago, I was largely indifferent to the majority of the songs due to how disappointing it was in comparison to the band's EP From The Fires. However, there were some songs I really liked and my favourite had to be lead single, "When The Curtain Falls". Great riff, shrill vocals and catchy melodies throughout, not to mention a decent solo to play us out. If you liked From The Fires but haven't listened to Anthem Of The Peaceful Army yet, you're probably better off listening to this song and maybe a handful of others instead of the whole album. Personal taste will depend on the other songs I'd recommend but regardless of what you're into, I'll always recommend this one.
2. "Firepower" - Judas Priest
Another song from an album I reviewed on the blog; don't worry, there'll be some tracks I haven't discussed before here too. The latest Judas Priest album was essentially a love letter to fans of the band's earlier material, combining good aspects of Painkiller, Screaming For Vengeance and British Steel with a modern twist. "Firepower" is a great title track and album opener with awesome riffs and fantastic vocals, exactly what was needed to remind fans that the band could still kick ass. There were other belters on the album too and who knows, maybe you'll see a few more in this post...
3. "Venom Of Venus" - Powerwolf
I only just finished writing about The Sacrament Of Sin, a great Power Metal album that contains a load of great tunes with heavy riffing and mild solos. However, for an album that's strength lies in its melodic nature, "Venom Of Venus" was the track that got me invested more than any other. The vocals steal the show, although the rest of the band bring the thunder too. However, I was also tempted to include "Fire & Forgive", "The Sacrament Of Sin" or "Fist By Fist (Sacralize Or Strike)" on this list too, although I feel like this song will stick with me longer than those.
4. "Fuchsia Machu Picchu" - Joachim Cooder
...who? Yeah, I heard this song on the radio one day and loved it. Great thumping rhythm, nice vocals, funky riffs and mystical accompaniments. I guess this is more of a Rock song than Pop, although it's probably the closest thing to Pop on this list. I haven't listened to any other songs by Joachim Cooder but if I hear something else by him/them (?) that I like, I'll be sure to check more tunes out. Until then, at least we've got this strange little number that I bet none of you ever expected to see on this list.
5. "Miasma" - Ghost
I'm mixing the formula up a bit by putting my number one favourite song of the year (from my number one favourite album of the year, as reviewed here) at the midway point of the post, rather than at the end like the last two from 2016/2017. This instrumental is fucking great and just goes from strength to strength as the song progresses. By the three minute mark, the song's taken off and before you know it, there are solos played on not just guitar and synth but also a fucking saxophone. This Metal instrumental finds a way of making a saxophone solo sound badass and for that reason alone, it deserves a spot on this list.
6. "Necromancer" - Judas Priest
Hey, look at that, Judas Priest showed up again! Revisiting some of my favourite songs from 2018 (a list that previously had about 30 different tracks in it), I tried to give songs by a wider variety of artists a chance but at the end of the day, I found myself enjoying multiple Judas Priest tracks over ones by Shinedown and Saxon. Whilst "Firepower" is probably my number one favourite off the album, "Necromancer" is a very close second. The faster tempo in the verse to give the song a driving rhythm is great and come on, if there's one thing Judas Priest knows how to do it's write awesome themes for their own mythological characters.
7. "Firewalker" - King Zebra
This was another song recommended to me that I ended up loving. Granted it might be a little similar to some of the others on this list (you can tell I definitely have a specific taste!) but when a band I've never heard of gets my attention as fast as King Zebra did with this song, I know they're worth mentioning. Fortunately for them, their song was great enough to earn a place on the full list and not just the honourable mentions so if you like NWOTHM, check this song out!
8. "Sugar Cane" - Slash, feat. Myles Kennedy & The Conspirators
This song nearly didn't make it in the list! I completely forgot about this album until I started writing the post and after revisiting a few tracks that I remembered enjoying, I found myself wanting to come back to this song over all the others. Awesome Slash riffs, fantastic Myles Kennedy vocals in the chorus and a vibe that makes it sound like the perfect song to fucking jam to in a live gig. There are some other decent tracks on the Slash album too (that I mention in my review found here) but "Sugar Cane" is probably my favourite from it.
9. "Whatever" - Thundermother
Another new song that I heard on the radio once and forgot about for a while until revisiting all of the year's best tunes. Imagine if Halestorm were just a little bit better musically and you've got "Whatever" - Thundermother. You get the same raw vocal talent but with the added benefit of better solos, percussion and general song structure. It's a shame that Thundermother seem to be going through somewhat of a tempestuous period with changing lineups and whatnot but fingers crossed the lineup from this album sticks around for some time!
10. "Rats" - Ghost
I mean, you should've seen this one coming. Even if "Miasma" is my favourite song of the year, "Rats" is a very strong second best from Prequelle. I've talked about the track before but in short, it's got everything needed to make a perfect anthematic Rock song. If you read this blog, you must've heard the song by now. You must know that I fucking love this song and album so it's no surprise that it's on this list.
What MIGHT be a surprise are some of these honourable mentions (in alphabetical order):
"Book Of Thoth" - The Sword
I thought the latest album by The Sword was OK (review here) and had several tracks I was considering for the coveted spot of an honourable mention here. However, in the end, I went with "Book Of Thoth" for containing the heavy riffs I associate with The Sword and some interesting guitar playing too. It's a more memorable song than some of my other favourites from Used Future but it's not quite as good as the tracks listed above. At least not to me, anyway.
"Dance Macabre" - Ghost
Got to fit Ghost in one last time (go fucking listen to Prequelle). Whilst "Miasma" and "Rats" are worthy of a place in the main list, I felt like I couldn't justify three Ghost songs when there were other tracks that needed a place too. Sadly for "Dance Macabre", that meant one song had to be an honourable mention and this ABBA-esque Hard Rock tune drew the short straw. Don't get me wrong though, I still love the track and would recommend it without a moment's hesitation.
"Flame Thrower" - Judas Priest
Yup, same situation with Judas Priest. I liked Firepower and multiple songs on the album grabbed me in an incredibly pleasurable way but I couldn't put three songs off it in the list, hence "Flame Thrower" ending up here instead. I think it was easier moving this song here because I'm not really into the intro that much but once the percussion comes in, everything gets much better.
"Grazed By Heaven" - Uriah Heep
Definitely my favourite song from Living The Dream and probably the most accessible track to casual fans of the band, since it has the Hard Prog sound of guitar/organ harmonies. However, it also boasts some great lengthy solos too so if you only listen to one song from the album, make sure it's this one...which will probably happen anyway, since it's the album opener and lead single.
"The New Day" - Greta Van Fleet
The last song in the post and it's another repeat band! I may have been a bit frosty to their recent album but damn, I love this song's main riff. It's like a glorious blend of early Rush and peak Led Zeppelin...and then the vocals come in. They're so fucking bad in this song, they remind me of Steve Smith from American Dad (played by Scott Grimes) when he does a pained, high pitched scream. Those vocals can work in Hard Rock tracks but when you've got a more Folksy, acoustic-guitar driven melody and softer percussion, you need more delicate vocals. If I could travel across the multiverse and find a version of this song with identical music but someone more tactful than Josh Kiszka behind the mic, this song easily would've made the main ten.
That's it for 2018! I hope you've enjoyed what I've offered on the blog and will (hopefully) continue to offer throughout 2019 too!
Happy New Year to everyone who gives a shit about that sort of thing and see you all in January!
Sunday, 30 December 2018
Here Is The News: December 2018 Edition
We've had some exciting news stories this year but I think I can say without a shadow of a doubt that the stories featured in this blog post are DEFINITELY ones from December!
90s Metal band Pantera are generally considered to have been popular in the early 90s with albums such as Cowboys From Hell and Vulgar Display Of Power. The band also released several disappointing albums in the 80s but archaeologists have recently discovered even older albums by the Groove Metal band buried deep beneath the surface of the Earth in the desert city of Alamogordo, New Mexico.
The album, entitled Witching Hour, was found in wooden crates containing hundreds of thousands of vinyl records all of the same album. Experts are unsure of exactly when the album was recorded, as the vinyl sleeves have deteriorated over time, but they believe the album dates back as far as 1963. This is especially impressive as none of the band members were even alive at this time.
"It's a fascinating discovery, one that I don't think any of us ever dreamt of making", lead archaeologist Jeremy Spake stated in an interview after the excavation. "We're used to finding old remains of merchandise that bands or record labels have tried to get rid of when they've made a catastrophic overestimation of popularity but never anything as important as a lost album! This could very well be the most significant archaeological discovery since that thing in Egypt last week".
It's unknown exactly why Pantera (pictured right) wanted to keep people in the dark about their past but some fans have theorised that it's to do with the drastic change in the band's sound over the years. Whilst most people will know them for their aggressive, thrashing riffs and furious solos, the material on Witching Hour is rather tame by comparison. Most of the vinyls were warped and unable to be played but some songs could be heard on a few records, tracks such as "My Daisy Chain" and "Love You Til The Sunrise" that sounded more like something off of a Monkees record than one of Pantera's.
Surviving members of Pantera have been unavailable for comment but since very few people can actually remember the obscure 1960s record, it's assumed that the band's legacy will remain untarnished by the borderline embarrassing material present on the band's earlier work. However, if history has shown us anything, it's that the Internet will certainly endeavour to preserve the band's newly discovered past, no matter how garish or humiliating.
Various musicians from popular Rock and Metal bands have banded together to form a group protesting the Rock & Roll Hall Of Fame and its methods for inducting artists. The group, consisting of Steve Miller, Pearl Jam, Bruce Dickinson and many others, have named themselves Musicians Advocating Democracy, or MAD for short.
MAD was founded after the Rock & Roll Hall Of Fame 2019 inductees were announced, annoying various musicians and fans who were disappointed at iconic Rock bands such as Devo, Kraftwerk and LL Cool J being snubbed. This would be the straw the broke the camel's back, as the Rock & Roll Hall Of Fame has repeatedly come under fire over the years by multiple musicians angry at being snubbed in favour of more commercial artists or over the futile gesture at being inducted into an imaginary hall of fame (pictured left).
According to their website, MAD believe that the Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame should choose inductees based around a more democratic system of voting by fans and experts, similar to the one already put in place already only more in favour of the musicians snubbed by the organisation. Their website brief goes on to say "We don't demand change but we refuse to accept the authenticity of the Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame until they make some changes. We are MAD and we will always be MAD until we are acknowledged".
Unfortunately, due to legal disputes over domain names, MAD have had to change the name on their website to avoid copyright infringement. MAD have since rebranded themselves online as the Underappreciated Musicians Advocating Democracy (or UMAD for short). The organisation has also gained its fair share of detractors, mostly popular Rock/Metal bands who have already been inducted into the Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame such as Bon Jovi (pictured right) and family members of legendary Rock artists such as Nina Simone and Tupac Shakur.
Whilst it's unclear exactly how long the snubbed musicians intend to remain MAD, one thing for certain is that the Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame will continue doing what it's doing as long as people keep publicising it, whether it's with good press or bad press. With this in mind, members of (U)MAD have proposed renaming the organisation once again to reflect a more popular mindset in the hopes that people will respect their group over the Hall of Fame. The proposed name change is Underappreciated Musicians Advocating Democracy, Truth, Heritage and Opportunity, also known as UMADTHO.
Semi-professional clown Adam Levine has had to close down his specialist school for training party performers due to a complete lack of business over the recent years. The alleged entertainer reached some fame in the 2000s with his band Maroon 5 before he decided to go into the more popular art of circus buffoonery with his Internet show "Look At Me Everybody, I'm Adam Levine!".
Adam (pictured left) started up the Adam Levine Clown School For Young Clowns By Adam Levine in 2011, claiming that he wanted to "help young artists discover their true potential" with the added benefit of some self-promotion for his band of fellow clowns, Maroon 5. Unfortunately, despite reaching some mild acclaim with circus songs such as "This Love" and "Moves Like Jagger", the latter being incredibly popular among small children, Adam's inability to teach people in a meaningful way resulted in significant financial losses. Adam tried selling his collection of expensive coats and hats to earn enough money to keep his college open; sadly, this only garnered enough cash to sustain things for six and a half years.
When asked how he felt about the news of his college shutting its doors, Adam didn't seem too fussed. "It's a shame, yes, but I know that I'll be back on my feet in no time. I'm already working on some new music inspired by black people, since they seem to be pretty popular right now". Whilst some may have found his choice of words mildly offensive, Adam is no stranger to saying or doing things for the sole purpose of incredibly mild shock value.
The tattooed Pop star has attempted to drum up notoriety in the past through a variety of methods such as suing a video game company for their portrayal of a playable avatar (pictured right) that he gave full permission to use his likeness for, two full years after the game's release. He also recently came under fire for joining the growing list of hack musicians to claim Rock is dead or, in this particular case, "nowhere".
Much like the music of Maroon 5, these comments are generally forgotten about after a couple of months and after a bit of mild irritation, people contently carry on with their lives as if Adam never existed once again. Adam may have suffered a temporary setback with the closure of his clown college but with the confirmation of his upcoming album on the horizon, we won't have to wait long before putting up with his circus antics once again.
I hope you've enjoyed all the news I've brought to you this year. One more post and then bring on 2019!
ANCIENT PANTERA ALBUM DISCOVERED BURIED UNDERGROUND
90s Metal band Pantera are generally considered to have been popular in the early 90s with albums such as Cowboys From Hell and Vulgar Display Of Power. The band also released several disappointing albums in the 80s but archaeologists have recently discovered even older albums by the Groove Metal band buried deep beneath the surface of the Earth in the desert city of Alamogordo, New Mexico.
"It's a fascinating discovery, one that I don't think any of us ever dreamt of making", lead archaeologist Jeremy Spake stated in an interview after the excavation. "We're used to finding old remains of merchandise that bands or record labels have tried to get rid of when they've made a catastrophic overestimation of popularity but never anything as important as a lost album! This could very well be the most significant archaeological discovery since that thing in Egypt last week".
Surviving members of Pantera have been unavailable for comment but since very few people can actually remember the obscure 1960s record, it's assumed that the band's legacy will remain untarnished by the borderline embarrassing material present on the band's earlier work. However, if history has shown us anything, it's that the Internet will certainly endeavour to preserve the band's newly discovered past, no matter how garish or humiliating.
MUSICIANS PROTEST ROCK & ROLL HALL OF FAME AGAIN
Various musicians from popular Rock and Metal bands have banded together to form a group protesting the Rock & Roll Hall Of Fame and its methods for inducting artists. The group, consisting of Steve Miller, Pearl Jam, Bruce Dickinson and many others, have named themselves Musicians Advocating Democracy, or MAD for short.
According to their website, MAD believe that the Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame should choose inductees based around a more democratic system of voting by fans and experts, similar to the one already put in place already only more in favour of the musicians snubbed by the organisation. Their website brief goes on to say "We don't demand change but we refuse to accept the authenticity of the Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame until they make some changes. We are MAD and we will always be MAD until we are acknowledged".
Whilst it's unclear exactly how long the snubbed musicians intend to remain MAD, one thing for certain is that the Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame will continue doing what it's doing as long as people keep publicising it, whether it's with good press or bad press. With this in mind, members of (U)MAD have proposed renaming the organisation once again to reflect a more popular mindset in the hopes that people will respect their group over the Hall of Fame. The proposed name change is Underappreciated Musicians Advocating Democracy, Truth, Heritage and Opportunity, also known as UMADTHO.
ADAM LEVINE'S CLOWN COLLEGE GOES UNDER
Semi-professional clown Adam Levine has had to close down his specialist school for training party performers due to a complete lack of business over the recent years. The alleged entertainer reached some fame in the 2000s with his band Maroon 5 before he decided to go into the more popular art of circus buffoonery with his Internet show "Look At Me Everybody, I'm Adam Levine!".
When asked how he felt about the news of his college shutting its doors, Adam didn't seem too fussed. "It's a shame, yes, but I know that I'll be back on my feet in no time. I'm already working on some new music inspired by black people, since they seem to be pretty popular right now". Whilst some may have found his choice of words mildly offensive, Adam is no stranger to saying or doing things for the sole purpose of incredibly mild shock value.
Much like the music of Maroon 5, these comments are generally forgotten about after a couple of months and after a bit of mild irritation, people contently carry on with their lives as if Adam never existed once again. Adam may have suffered a temporary setback with the closure of his clown college but with the confirmation of his upcoming album on the horizon, we won't have to wait long before putting up with his circus antics once again.
I hope you've enjoyed all the news I've brought to you this year. One more post and then bring on 2019!
Thursday, 27 December 2018
Rapid Fire: Uriah Heep, Joe Satriani, Powerwolf
Haven't done one of these for a while but the last Rapid Fire post of the year will be looking at three albums from 2018 that I didn't get a chance to review or shine a spotlight on...until now, that is!
First up, we have an album that I've been putting off ever since discovering that Slash released an album with exactly the same name.
1. Living The Dream - Uriah Heep
One of the main reasons I didn't want to review this album after listening to it is because I felt like it wouldn't make for a very entertaining read. After all, there was nothing wrong with the album when I listened to it but at the same time, there was very little exciting about it either; it was a competent Hard Prog record by a band that still have life in them yet. Revisiting it many months later and I have to say, my opinion is more or less the exact same. It's still a decent album with some good tunes and easily forgettable filler tracks.
Album opener and lead single "Grazed By Heaven" is one of the album highlights along with guitar-driven "Take Away My Soul" but many songs go on a little bit too long and feel closer to Prog than Hard Rock, which will probably delight Uriah Heep's original fans. However, there are still plenty of great riffs on guitar and organ (occasionally simultaneously, giving it a great 70s Rock sound) and the percussion contains enough variety to prevent this from sounding like a Thunder album with the same rhythm on every song.
All in all, I'd recommend Living The Dream to fans of 70s and contemporary Hard Prog. It's a good album rooted in Rock with great Hard Prog variety although this is probably a better record for fans of longer, less energetic music that they can enjoy mid-activity or drive. That being said, there are shorter, punchier tunes for those enthusiasts so there should be something for plenty of Rock fans here.
Next up, we have an album by guitar virtuoso Joe Satriani!
2. What Happens Next - Joe Satriani
When it comes to awesome instrumental Rock songs, Joe Satriani generally knows what he's doing. Surfing With The Alien is a top notch record and I was excited to listen to another Joe Satriani album again, especially one with modern recording technology and no need to worry about declining vocal or technical guitar playing skill (since it's clear Joe still has it!). Album opener "Energy" kicks things off with a fast tempo and fun riffs before slowing things down with funky, bass-driven "Catbot", all with unique guitar solos and tones.
That's probably the main selling point of Joe Satriani's music; it's not just the technically proficient playing, it's the strange sounds he's able to make the guitar come out with. The use of different tones and styles separates it from sounding like a load of plain guitar soloing over 12 songs. Granted he's not the only virtuoso player to realise this is the key to being a successful artist but he's arguably one of the more distinct ones (along with Buckethead). Whilst guitarists like Eric Johnson cultivate and develop their playing into a signature sound synonymous with their name, Joe Satriani typically brings you a plentiful feast of action-packed Rock muzak to get stuck into.
This album is largely the same; there's soft Funk ("Cherry Blossoms", "Righteous"), there's fast Blues Rock ("Headrush") and music in between ("Invisible") although there's a little more emphasis on the slower, more atmospheric tunes such as the album's title track "What Happens Next". Fans of those kind of songs will probably love this album but those who preferred material like "Crushing Day", "Summer Song" and "Crystal Planet" may find themselves a little bored. Sadly, I'm one of those people although I can still appreciate the talent that went into each song.
First up, we have an album that I've been putting off ever since discovering that Slash released an album with exactly the same name.
1. Living The Dream - Uriah Heep
One of the main reasons I didn't want to review this album after listening to it is because I felt like it wouldn't make for a very entertaining read. After all, there was nothing wrong with the album when I listened to it but at the same time, there was very little exciting about it either; it was a competent Hard Prog record by a band that still have life in them yet. Revisiting it many months later and I have to say, my opinion is more or less the exact same. It's still a decent album with some good tunes and easily forgettable filler tracks.
Album opener and lead single "Grazed By Heaven" is one of the album highlights along with guitar-driven "Take Away My Soul" but many songs go on a little bit too long and feel closer to Prog than Hard Rock, which will probably delight Uriah Heep's original fans. However, there are still plenty of great riffs on guitar and organ (occasionally simultaneously, giving it a great 70s Rock sound) and the percussion contains enough variety to prevent this from sounding like a Thunder album with the same rhythm on every song.
All in all, I'd recommend Living The Dream to fans of 70s and contemporary Hard Prog. It's a good album rooted in Rock with great Hard Prog variety although this is probably a better record for fans of longer, less energetic music that they can enjoy mid-activity or drive. That being said, there are shorter, punchier tunes for those enthusiasts so there should be something for plenty of Rock fans here.
1. Grazed By Heaven
2. Living The Dream
3. Take Away My Soul
4. Knocking At My Door
5. Rocks In The Road
6. Waters Flowin'
7. It's All Been Said
8. Goodbye To Innocence
9. Falling Under Your Spell
10. Dreams Of Yesteryear
ALBUM RATING - 7/10
Next up, we have an album by guitar virtuoso Joe Satriani!
2. What Happens Next - Joe Satriani
When it comes to awesome instrumental Rock songs, Joe Satriani generally knows what he's doing. Surfing With The Alien is a top notch record and I was excited to listen to another Joe Satriani album again, especially one with modern recording technology and no need to worry about declining vocal or technical guitar playing skill (since it's clear Joe still has it!). Album opener "Energy" kicks things off with a fast tempo and fun riffs before slowing things down with funky, bass-driven "Catbot", all with unique guitar solos and tones.
That's probably the main selling point of Joe Satriani's music; it's not just the technically proficient playing, it's the strange sounds he's able to make the guitar come out with. The use of different tones and styles separates it from sounding like a load of plain guitar soloing over 12 songs. Granted he's not the only virtuoso player to realise this is the key to being a successful artist but he's arguably one of the more distinct ones (along with Buckethead). Whilst guitarists like Eric Johnson cultivate and develop their playing into a signature sound synonymous with their name, Joe Satriani typically brings you a plentiful feast of action-packed Rock muzak to get stuck into.
This album is largely the same; there's soft Funk ("Cherry Blossoms", "Righteous"), there's fast Blues Rock ("Headrush") and music in between ("Invisible") although there's a little more emphasis on the slower, more atmospheric tunes such as the album's title track "What Happens Next". Fans of those kind of songs will probably love this album but those who preferred material like "Crushing Day", "Summer Song" and "Crystal Planet" may find themselves a little bored. Sadly, I'm one of those people although I can still appreciate the talent that went into each song.
1. Energy
2. Catbot
3. Thunder High On The Mountain
4. Cherry Blossoms
5. Righteous
6. Smooth Soul
7. Headrush
8. Looper
9. What Happens Next
10. Super Funky Badass
11. Invisible
12. Forever And Ever
ALBUM RATING - 5/10
Finally, we have an album by a Metal band that I've only just discovered due to playing their music in Clone Hero!
3. The Sacrament Of Sin - Powerwolf
Having listened to a couple of Powerwolf songs before checking this album out, I had high hopes for The Sacrament Of Sin. The songs I'd heard were decent Heavy Metal tunes, albeit a bit lacking in technical skill, and I'd heard positive things about the album too. Turns out those positive things were to be trusted as I liked this album quite a lot, although not enough to rave about it. I mean, it's great but it's no Prequelle (although there are similarities in the gothic Metal with a touch of 80s Pop tone). Album opener "Fire & Forgive" is a good heavy song to get things started although after the first few songs, the album takes a pretty lengthy rest break with multiple slower tracks ("Where The Wild Wolves Have Gone", "Stossgebet").
However, this isn't necessarily a bad thing. This is definitely an album to listen to in one sitting rather than picking and choosing random tracks out of order. Sure, you can listen to your favourites out of order and still get joy out of them but the transition between each track sounds carefully planned and the consecutive slower songs don't bring the overall pace of the album down as awkwardly as other albums that shoehorn slow tunes in between fast ones because they didn't know where else to put them. It also means that unlike other contemporary albums that go through the second half slump due to putting all the better tracks at the start, we still get some bangers towards the end of the record ("Venom Of Venus", "Fist By Fist (Sacralize Or Strike)").
I would recommend this album to Heavy Metal fans who like their music grand and awesome. The album's a well crafted product and provides a damn fine if not slightly repetitive listening experience if you let it, although fans of classic Heavy Metal (or even newer Metal bands) may find the music a little underwhelming when it comes to furious solos and complex riffs...in that there aren't really any. There are heavy rapid strumming riffs but no face-melters, just melodic ones with some mild sweeping ("Nighttime Rebel"). Luckily, songs don't need insane solos to be good so if you can listen past that, you'll be in for a treat.
However, this isn't necessarily a bad thing. This is definitely an album to listen to in one sitting rather than picking and choosing random tracks out of order. Sure, you can listen to your favourites out of order and still get joy out of them but the transition between each track sounds carefully planned and the consecutive slower songs don't bring the overall pace of the album down as awkwardly as other albums that shoehorn slow tunes in between fast ones because they didn't know where else to put them. It also means that unlike other contemporary albums that go through the second half slump due to putting all the better tracks at the start, we still get some bangers towards the end of the record ("Venom Of Venus", "Fist By Fist (Sacralize Or Strike)").
I would recommend this album to Heavy Metal fans who like their music grand and awesome. The album's a well crafted product and provides a damn fine if not slightly repetitive listening experience if you let it, although fans of classic Heavy Metal (or even newer Metal bands) may find the music a little underwhelming when it comes to furious solos and complex riffs...in that there aren't really any. There are heavy rapid strumming riffs but no face-melters, just melodic ones with some mild sweeping ("Nighttime Rebel"). Luckily, songs don't need insane solos to be good so if you can listen past that, you'll be in for a treat.
1. Fire & Forgive
2. Demons Are A Girl's Best Friend
3. Killers With The Cross
4. Incense & Iron
5. Where The Wild Wolves Have Gone
6. Stossgebet
7. Nightside Of Siberia
8. The Sacrament Of Sin
9. Venom Of Venus
10. Nighttime Rebel
11. Fist By Fist (Sacralize Or Strike)
ALBUM RATING - 9/10
COMING SOON: More news and a look at my ten favourite songs from 2018!
Wednesday, 26 December 2018
Tenology: Weak Remixes from Super Smash Bros.
Super Smash Bros. Ultimate has taken up a lot of my time this month so I thought I'd better write a blog post about the music throughout the series. However, since I've already written about some of my favourite Smash Bros. remixes in the past, this blog post is dedicated to some of the less impressive tunes made specifically for games in the Super Smash Bros. series.
Yes, even though the majority of songs are great, there are a couple of tracks that either contain Axls or just completely get it wrong. I've also added a few tunes that might be good but could've been even better if they just changed a few things around, since there aren't a huge amount of terrible Smash Bros. tracks.
1. Tal Tal Heights - Legend Of Zelda (Super Smash Bros. Brawl)
I like the Tal Tal Heights theme but boy, was I disappointed with this remix. First of all, the synth and electronic sound effects make it sound like it belongs in Star Fox, not Legend Of Zelda. Second, the actual tune from Tal Tal Heights features in a very small portion of the actual track. Most of the melody is the standard Legend Of Zelda theme reworked and some jazzed up key changed bollocks. Overall, it's not a great tune for those who were looking forward to hearing a proper remix of Tal Tal Heights compared to the naff 8-bit original.
2. Main Theme (Metroid) - Metroid (Super Smash Bros. Brawl)
I've started this blog post off with some of the better bad remixes, if that makes sense. The Rock version of the Metroid theme contains a pretty sweet guitar solo, an appropriately used synth melody and a great arrangement throughout. However, there is one glaring Axl that prevents it from being a song I frequently listen to in-game; that cringe-worthy vocal intro. "SAMUS IS UNDER FIRE! SHE'S SENT AN EMERGENCY DIRECTIVE! JOIN THE FIGHT!". Oh man, it just sounds so out of place and unintentionally dorky. It ruins an otherwise awesome rerecording.
3. Magicant / Eight Melodies - Earthbound (Super Smash Bros. for 3DS/Wii U)
I've never really cared for the Smash Bros. remixes of Earthbound music, although I've never given much time to the original music from Earthbound either. However, despite being a cute little stage, Magicant contains one of the more boring tracks to fight to in Smash Bros history. Smiles And Tears isn't that much better but this definitely feels like the less interesting track, especially when you consider that better remixes of Earthbound music to fight to DO exist! This stage needed a more upbeat track, similar to how Temple contained the spicy Fire Emblem tune as well as the slower Zelda one.
4. Flat Zone 2 - Mr. Game And Watch
The original Flat Zone melody from Super Smash Bros. Melee was kooky and neat for the odd stage but this shrill, awful attempt at using Game & Watch sounds to create a catchy melody is fucking terrible. You know how Mr. Game & Watch has that loud, annoying phone ringing noise as two taunts? Imagine that as a whole song but with some bland musical accompaniments thrown in too. Yeah, you're better off with the various Dr. Mario remixes here.
5. Rosalina In The Observatory / Luma's Theme - Mario
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Ready to stop caring about what I have to say? Here goes: I don't like Mario music. The Ground Theme, the Underwater Theme, Super Mario World music, I don't like any of it. Consequently, I was really excited to hear great tunes from Super Mario Galaxy on this stage...until they ruined this one. I like the original versions of Rosalina In The Observatory from Super Mario Galaxy, even when they become grander and grander after obtaining more stars throughout the game. However, this remix sounds TOO grand and over the top. The use of brass for the main melody makes it sound like circus music rather than a cosmic waltz, although I can't fault them for trying to make the original music more appropriate for Smash Bros.
6. Pac-Man (Club Mix) - Pac-Man
Just...why? Why does this tune exist? We already have a great Pac-Man remix, why does it need a Club Mix? OK, they needed two tunes for the Pac Maze stage in the 3DS Smash Bros but you had the Pac-Man's Park / Block Town tune that would've worked a hell of a lot better! Maybe they just wanted another melody that contained iconic tunes from the original Pac-Man but they could've done better than a shitty Club Mix, although perhaps I'm biased due to my musical taste.
7. Saria's Song / Middle Boss Battle - Legend Of Zelda
I've talked about how Smash Bros keeps awkwardly blending great tunes from The Legend Of Zelda with boss battle themes and it Never. Sounds. Good. Song Of Storms was great until Ganondorf's Theme was shoehorned in, Ballad Of The Goddess was awesome until Ghirahim's Theme was pointlessly crammed in and now Saria's Song, a lovely tune that sounds pretty naff in this remix alone, has been tainted by the synthy mess of the Middle Boss Battle theme from Ocarina Of Time. Just a truly shit piece of music.
8. Freakyforms: Your Creations, Alive! Medley - Freakyforms
There are some great little Nintendo titles to pick music from (still waiting for some Professor Layton tunes, even if Nintendo don't necessarily own the rights to a game that has only ever appeared on Nintendo consoles) but this definitely isn't one of them. It sounds like a worse version of the music from Tearaway but at least it improves a little once the guitars come in. It's just a shame that to get there, you have to listen to plinky plonky noise totally out of place on a Smash Bros fighting stage.
9. Main Theme (New Super Mario Bros.) - Mario
Remember earlier on when I talked about how much I hate music from Mario Bros platformers? Yeah, this is a good example of why. Ignoring the silly sound effects and boring instrumentation, the thing I hate most about the music in New Super Mario Bros. (and other variants) is the "BA-BAAA" vocals throughout. A bunch of original Mario tracks in Super Smash Bros. for Wii U contain these annoying little vocal "BA"s and I fucking hate them. I don't know why, I just can't stand them and hate the songs that contain them. Fortunately, it's easier for me to convince people that this tune sucks because the rest of the music isn't great either.
10. The Roost - Animal Crossing
Whilst it's not godawful like some of the remixes on this post, The Roost doesn't belong in a Smash Bros game. In fact, even the game's director (Masahiro Sakurai), when commenting on how music for Super Smash Bros. Ultimate was chosen based on how good they are to fight to, cited The Roost as a piece of music that didn't fit the gameplay...and yet it was brought back for Super Smash. Bros Ultimate! It's a nice tune to listen to but if it had to have some use in-game, it should've been used as part of a medley or during a rest section in the game's Adventure Mode or something other than a stage track.
COMING SOON: Probably a blog post about my favourite pieces of music from Super Smash Bros. Ultimate, although not until the new year.
Yes, even though the majority of songs are great, there are a couple of tracks that either contain Axls or just completely get it wrong. I've also added a few tunes that might be good but could've been even better if they just changed a few things around, since there aren't a huge amount of terrible Smash Bros. tracks.
1. Tal Tal Heights - Legend Of Zelda (Super Smash Bros. Brawl)
This track probably should've been on Bridge Of Eldin but meh, Pirate Ship's fine I guess
I like the Tal Tal Heights theme but boy, was I disappointed with this remix. First of all, the synth and electronic sound effects make it sound like it belongs in Star Fox, not Legend Of Zelda. Second, the actual tune from Tal Tal Heights features in a very small portion of the actual track. Most of the melody is the standard Legend Of Zelda theme reworked and some jazzed up key changed bollocks. Overall, it's not a great tune for those who were looking forward to hearing a proper remix of Tal Tal Heights compared to the naff 8-bit original.
2. Main Theme (Metroid) - Metroid (Super Smash Bros. Brawl)
Easily the best Metroid stage in Smash...although Frigate Orpheon's good too
I've started this blog post off with some of the better bad remixes, if that makes sense. The Rock version of the Metroid theme contains a pretty sweet guitar solo, an appropriately used synth melody and a great arrangement throughout. However, there is one glaring Axl that prevents it from being a song I frequently listen to in-game; that cringe-worthy vocal intro. "SAMUS IS UNDER FIRE! SHE'S SENT AN EMERGENCY DIRECTIVE! JOIN THE FIGHT!". Oh man, it just sounds so out of place and unintentionally dorky. It ruins an otherwise awesome rerecording.
3. Magicant / Eight Melodies - Earthbound (Super Smash Bros. for 3DS/Wii U)
Still beats New Pork City!
I've never really cared for the Smash Bros. remixes of Earthbound music, although I've never given much time to the original music from Earthbound either. However, despite being a cute little stage, Magicant contains one of the more boring tracks to fight to in Smash Bros history. Smiles And Tears isn't that much better but this definitely feels like the less interesting track, especially when you consider that better remixes of Earthbound music to fight to DO exist! This stage needed a more upbeat track, similar to how Temple contained the spicy Fire Emblem tune as well as the slower Zelda one.
4. Flat Zone 2 - Mr. Game And Watch
Feed 'em to the lions!
The original Flat Zone melody from Super Smash Bros. Melee was kooky and neat for the odd stage but this shrill, awful attempt at using Game & Watch sounds to create a catchy melody is fucking terrible. You know how Mr. Game & Watch has that loud, annoying phone ringing noise as two taunts? Imagine that as a whole song but with some bland musical accompaniments thrown in too. Yeah, you're better off with the various Dr. Mario remixes here.
5. Rosalina In The Observatory / Luma's Theme - Mario
So many great tracks missing from this stage...
Ready to stop caring about what I have to say? Here goes: I don't like Mario music. The Ground Theme, the Underwater Theme, Super Mario World music, I don't like any of it. Consequently, I was really excited to hear great tunes from Super Mario Galaxy on this stage...until they ruined this one. I like the original versions of Rosalina In The Observatory from Super Mario Galaxy, even when they become grander and grander after obtaining more stars throughout the game. However, this remix sounds TOO grand and over the top. The use of brass for the main melody makes it sound like circus music rather than a cosmic waltz, although I can't fault them for trying to make the original music more appropriate for Smash Bros.
6. Pac-Man (Club Mix) - Pac-Man
Rest in Peace, Pac Maze
Just...why? Why does this tune exist? We already have a great Pac-Man remix, why does it need a Club Mix? OK, they needed two tunes for the Pac Maze stage in the 3DS Smash Bros but you had the Pac-Man's Park / Block Town tune that would've worked a hell of a lot better! Maybe they just wanted another melody that contained iconic tunes from the original Pac-Man but they could've done better than a shitty Club Mix, although perhaps I'm biased due to my musical taste.
7. Saria's Song / Middle Boss Battle - Legend Of Zelda
Another Zelda entry? Pfft, and I call myself a fan!
I've talked about how Smash Bros keeps awkwardly blending great tunes from The Legend Of Zelda with boss battle themes and it Never. Sounds. Good. Song Of Storms was great until Ganondorf's Theme was shoehorned in, Ballad Of The Goddess was awesome until Ghirahim's Theme was pointlessly crammed in and now Saria's Song, a lovely tune that sounds pretty naff in this remix alone, has been tainted by the synthy mess of the Middle Boss Battle theme from Ocarina Of Time. Just a truly shit piece of music.
8. Freakyforms: Your Creations, Alive! Medley - Freakyforms
Rest in Piss, Miiverse
There are some great little Nintendo titles to pick music from (still waiting for some Professor Layton tunes, even if Nintendo don't necessarily own the rights to a game that has only ever appeared on Nintendo consoles) but this definitely isn't one of them. It sounds like a worse version of the music from Tearaway but at least it improves a little once the guitars come in. It's just a shame that to get there, you have to listen to plinky plonky noise totally out of place on a Smash Bros fighting stage.
9. Main Theme (New Super Mario Bros.) - Mario
Yup, new Mario Bros music fucking sucks
Remember earlier on when I talked about how much I hate music from Mario Bros platformers? Yeah, this is a good example of why. Ignoring the silly sound effects and boring instrumentation, the thing I hate most about the music in New Super Mario Bros. (and other variants) is the "BA-BAAA" vocals throughout. A bunch of original Mario tracks in Super Smash Bros. for Wii U contain these annoying little vocal "BA"s and I fucking hate them. I don't know why, I just can't stand them and hate the songs that contain them. Fortunately, it's easier for me to convince people that this tune sucks because the rest of the music isn't great either.
10. The Roost - Animal Crossing
Oh hey again, Sonic and Lucario!
Whilst it's not godawful like some of the remixes on this post, The Roost doesn't belong in a Smash Bros game. In fact, even the game's director (Masahiro Sakurai), when commenting on how music for Super Smash Bros. Ultimate was chosen based on how good they are to fight to, cited The Roost as a piece of music that didn't fit the gameplay...and yet it was brought back for Super Smash. Bros Ultimate! It's a nice tune to listen to but if it had to have some use in-game, it should've been used as part of a medley or during a rest section in the game's Adventure Mode or something other than a stage track.
COMING SOON: Probably a blog post about my favourite pieces of music from Super Smash Bros. Ultimate, although not until the new year.
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