Finally, we're here. The end of 2016 and about fucking time too. From celebrity deaths to celebrity presidents, it's been an absolute shitshow that all seemed to start with Lemmy's death at the end of last year.
However, despite the overwhelming negatives about 2016, there have been some positives to take away such as a collection of decent Rock/Metal songs that I intend to list here. On previous Tenology posts celebrating the year's music, I don't categorise songs in order of greatness; instead, I just list ten of my personal favourite songs from the year in random order. Since there's no reason to change the formula, that's exactly what I'll be doing this year too!
It's also worth noting that these songs have been chosen based entirely on my opinion, not how well they charted or fared among Rock/Metal fans. If I wanted to write about the "best" songs of the year, I'd spend the whole post wanking off about how amazing Beyonce and Radiohead are. But fuck that, right? Here are 10 songs I liked!
1. "The Getaway" - Red Hot Chili Peppers
If you cast your mind back to July (or click this link and spend a couple of minutes reading the post), you may recall me reviewing The Getaway - Red Hot Chili Peppers and talking about how much I loved this album. It's probably joint-first for my album of the year along with Dystopia - Megadeth and this album opener/title track is a solid reason why. It sounds like classic RHCP but at the same time doesn't feel like the band going through the motions, partly due to Josh Klinghoffer picking up the strings from John Frusciante. Great tune!
2. "Breathing Lightning" - Anthrax
If your mind hasn't returned from July yet (or you got curious and followed this link), you may ALSO recall me briefly writing about the new Anthrax album, For All Kings. Despite not really enjoying it, I did love this song and would recommend it if you like Heavy Metal over the usual Thrash stuff Anthrax is known for. Thankfully, there are some single edits of the song that don't have the shitty instrumental reprise at the end so if you want to buy the track, search for that version instead of the six minute one.
3. "Let It Begin" - The Treatment
Aha, a new track! I've mentioned The Treatment before on a previous Tenology post celebrating 2014's music but this song is stronger than "The Outlaw". It's still another uncompromising Hard Rock track with epic riffs and a catchy chorus by a band who seem to be happy in the ass-kicking-Rock sector of the industry so what's not to like? In a year literally plagued with death and despair, sometimes you need a good Hard Rock track to blast out loud and this song fits the bill nicely.
4. "Moth Into Flame" - Metallica
Back to old tracks again. I liked Metallica's new album and there were definitely some solid contenders on there for this post. However, there was only one track that I knew deserved to be on the main list without a doubt; "Moth Into Flame". Unlike "Hardwired" and "Atlas, Rise!", it contains all the hallmarks of a top quality Metallica song without sounding repetitive or losing too much energy throughout the track. It should've been the lead single from the album as it triumphantly declares "We're fucken back!" much more heroically than the album's title track.
5. "At War With The World" - Primal Fear
I haven't actually discussed Rulebreaker - Primal Fear on the blog yet but if you haven't listened to it, it's a pretty awesome Metal album. Granted there's not much variety on it but if you want pure Heavy Metal, you get exactly that. There were several songs I could've picked for this list but my personal favourite is probably this one due to the steady rhythm and epic chorus. Seriously though, if you like Heavy Metal, seek out Rulebreaker - Primal Fear.
6. "Breakin' Outta Hell" - Airbourne
A track so good, I've discussed it twice; once in an album review, once in a taster session. Basically, similar to "Let It Begin", it's a heavy Hard Rock song by a band that are masters of awesome singles but getting progressively weaker at awesome albums. Despite this, I still love listening to this song and hope that Airbourne will keep churning 'em out every couple of years or so.
7. "The Emperor" - Megadeth
Come on, I couldn't leave out a track from Dystopia from this post. I'll admit that if "The Threat Is Real" wasn't released as a single at the end of 2015, I would've chosen that instead but "The Emperor" is probably my second favourite track off the album. Lyrically and musically, it's fucking great; a song flipping the middle finger off at incompetent leaders with brilliant riffs throughout and a hell of a sweet solo with echoes of "Holy Wars... The Punishment Due".
8. "When The Night Comes In" - Black Star Riders
If you're unfamiliar with Black Star Riders, they're basically a heavier version of Thin Lizzy made up of Thin Lizzy band members who didn't want to record new material for that band without Phil Lynott. I've heard quite a few of their songs and definitely like some more than others ("Valley Of The Stones" over "Bound For Glory", any day) but this is my favourite so far and it just so happens to be a single released this year. If you like Thin Lizzy and heavier music, I'd recommend them unless you're a die-hard Phil Lynott fan, as the vocalist sounds like a poorer version of him and it'd probably just piss you off.
9. "Eye Of The Beholder" - Wolfmother
Another song from an album I've already reviewed. Similar to Dystopia, this might not be my favourite song off the album but it IS my favourite off the songs released this year. It's got your standard trippy apocalypse sound that Wolfmother have cultivated through the use of organ and fuzzy guitars but when you get to the halfway point, the track picks up a bit and shifts gear into full-on Rock. It's a shame they couldn't add a guitar solo to that section but it's still great.
10. "Goodbye Angels" - Red Hot Chili Peppers
What's this? ANOTHER Red Hot Chili Peppers song? Technically, I never said I couldn't include multiple songs by the same band on this post and if I'm being totally honest, I would rate this higher than most of the songs in this list and upcoming honourable mentions. It's not a balls-out riff-heavy Rock anthem but it is pure RHCP at their finest, which is saying something without Frusciante involved. I may have been hasty in the past when I claimed the song would be better without Flea's little bass solo before the outro but having given it some thought, I think it works better that way after all. My personal favourite song off The Getaway and maybe, JUST MAYBE, my favourite song of 2016.
Those were my ten favourite songs from 2016 (that I heard and will probably change over time) but that's not to say everything else was rubbish. Here are five tracks that could've made the list if not for the strength of the ten above:
"Bullets & Tears" - Primal Fear
As I said when writing about "At War With The World", I could've chosen from a few songs for the list and if not for that track, this would've made it instead. I can imagine this track being fucking amazing live when that chorus comes around and for that reason, I love listening to it. However, even though I included two RHCP tracks on the list, I couldn't remove one of my top ten for another Primal Fear song.
"Medication For The Melancholy" - Rob Zombie
Yeah, Rob Zombie released an album this year. I should probably listen to it if only to seek out tracks like this. He doesn't do them often but when Rob speeds up the tempo, he fucking rocks. I didn't include this track because it sounds like just another Rob Zombie track off one of his previous albums and I've already got enough of them in my list. I went with Airbourne instead because I can honestly say I prefer "Breakin' Outta Hell" to this, although it's still a great Heavy Metal tune.
"See You Rise" - Diamond Head
Considering how much I said I enjoyed Diamond Head - Diamond Head in my review this year, some of you might be confused as to why I didn't include any tracks in the main list. I do still love the album and "See You Rise" is still my favourite track off it but it just couldn't beat the others on the list. If it didn't have the slower section in the middle, it may have done.
"This Train" - Joe Bonamassa
I don't think I'll ever quite understand why everyone seems to rave about Joe Bonamassa so much when most of the songs I've heard him involved in are just alright but I have to say, this track is pretty solid. It's a fun Blues number, which makes a change from just about every other popular modern Blues track in existence. It's not strong enough to take on any of the main ten but it deserves a mention here.
"Thundering Voices" - Rival Sons
A late entry, as I only heard this track a couple of days ago. I'm sure I've talked about Rival Sons before and how they're a decent Rock band who probably deserve more attention than I'm currently giving them but the reason I didn't include this on the main list is simple; the other tracks have had some time to get old (except the Black Star Riders one, but I know I'll still like that months from now) and I still enjoy listening to them. I can't say the same about this song yet but who knows, maybe I'll still like it in February next year when we're all absolutely shitting ourselves over what the world has become.
That's all from me this year. I hope you enjoyed my 52 posts and your 2017 is better than 2016...unless you're partly to majorly responsible for how shit 2016 turned out, in which case I sincerely hope your next 365 days are utter wank.
Saturday, 31 December 2016
Saturday, 24 December 2016
Shout Out: Blue For You - Status Quo
I was originally planning to write about the soundtrack to Tearaway Unfolded, a PS4 title that's easily the most innovative and imaginative platformer I've ever played, but after hearing of the death of Rick Parfitt (Status Quo guitarist), I felt like writing this post instead.
If you're reading from America and aren't sure who Status Quo are, they're basically the UK's version of Cheap Trick; all-round, solid Rock for your dad to enjoy. Their most well known tracks are probably "Whatever You Want", "Sweet Caroline", "Rockin' All Over The World" and "Down Down" and, unfortunately, they're not exactly the best tracks to showcase the talent of the band. They're fairly basic Rock songs that rely on simplistic chord progressions and lyrics that sound like the songwriters took an early lunch before recording them. In other words, they're boring.
HOWEVER, despite generally conjuring images of Greatest Hits albums and appearances on The One Show when I think of them, Status Quo are also a band with a collection of great deep cuts and filler tracks that piss all over their signature songs, many of which belong on this album from 1976.
Blue For You opens with "Is There A Better Way", a firm Hard Rock album opener that wouldn't sound out of place on a Blue Oyster Cult album. Hell, maybe that's where they came up with the idea for the album's name but in all seriousness, despite not containing the frills and technical talents of finger-blistering solos and the like, it's a solid tune that keeps you engaged from start to finish. The album is full of these kind of tracks, even going a few steps further with faster tempo tracks like "Rolling Home", "Ring Of A Change" and one of the album's popular singles, "Mystery Song".
There are also slower Rock tracks that sound more like the Quo everyone knows such as "That's A Fact" and lead single "Rain". These provide a welcome break from the better tracks and help add some more variety to the album. Sadly, the album's title track is a bit poor unless you get a rock-on for Bluesy numbers (probably the more likely reason behind the album's name rather than the earlier comment) but considering the majority of songs on the album are belters, I can forgive a misleading title track.
If you like your Rock to actually Rock, I recommend Blue For You. You'll probably find it tame if you're accustomed to modern Rock bands with more energy and louder mixes but if you compare the music on this album to other songs from the same year, you'll find this album can hold its own. Also, whilst I'd normally just discuss the basic album as it was released, this time I'm recommending the 2005 reissue for containing B-sides and a single edit of "Mystery Song"...mostly because that seems to be the only version you can get now that isn't extortionately priced but also because it's worth it. Below is a tracklisting for that version, along with my personal favourites off the album.
If you're reading from America and aren't sure who Status Quo are, they're basically the UK's version of Cheap Trick; all-round, solid Rock for your dad to enjoy. Their most well known tracks are probably "Whatever You Want", "Sweet Caroline", "Rockin' All Over The World" and "Down Down" and, unfortunately, they're not exactly the best tracks to showcase the talent of the band. They're fairly basic Rock songs that rely on simplistic chord progressions and lyrics that sound like the songwriters took an early lunch before recording them. In other words, they're boring.
HOWEVER, despite generally conjuring images of Greatest Hits albums and appearances on The One Show when I think of them, Status Quo are also a band with a collection of great deep cuts and filler tracks that piss all over their signature songs, many of which belong on this album from 1976.
Blue For You opens with "Is There A Better Way", a firm Hard Rock album opener that wouldn't sound out of place on a Blue Oyster Cult album. Hell, maybe that's where they came up with the idea for the album's name but in all seriousness, despite not containing the frills and technical talents of finger-blistering solos and the like, it's a solid tune that keeps you engaged from start to finish. The album is full of these kind of tracks, even going a few steps further with faster tempo tracks like "Rolling Home", "Ring Of A Change" and one of the album's popular singles, "Mystery Song".
There are also slower Rock tracks that sound more like the Quo everyone knows such as "That's A Fact" and lead single "Rain". These provide a welcome break from the better tracks and help add some more variety to the album. Sadly, the album's title track is a bit poor unless you get a rock-on for Bluesy numbers (probably the more likely reason behind the album's name rather than the earlier comment) but considering the majority of songs on the album are belters, I can forgive a misleading title track.
If you like your Rock to actually Rock, I recommend Blue For You. You'll probably find it tame if you're accustomed to modern Rock bands with more energy and louder mixes but if you compare the music on this album to other songs from the same year, you'll find this album can hold its own. Also, whilst I'd normally just discuss the basic album as it was released, this time I'm recommending the 2005 reissue for containing B-sides and a single edit of "Mystery Song"...mostly because that seems to be the only version you can get now that isn't extortionately priced but also because it's worth it. Below is a tracklisting for that version, along with my personal favourites off the album.
1. Is There A Better Way
2. Mad About The Boy
3. Ring Of A Change
4. Blue For You
5. Rain
6. Rolling Home
7. That's A Fact
8. Ease Your Mind
9. Mystery Song (Album Version)
10. You Lost The Love
11. Mystery Song (Single Version)
12. Wild Side Of Life
13. All Through The Night
14. Wild Side Of Life (Demo Version)
ALBUM RATING - 8/10
RIP Rick Parfitt. You may not have been Jimi Hendrix or even Tony Iommi but you made Status Quo Status Quo and you will be missed. After Christmas is done with, I'll seek out more Quo albums to get stuck into.
Oh yeah, Merry Christmas! Next week, I'll be back with the last blog post of 2016!
Friday, 16 December 2016
Taster Session #6
Back for another post and this time, it's a long one!
Previous Taster Session posts usually consist of me discussing five songs from albums coming out within the year before ultimately deciding whether I want to listen to the whole album based on that single. This time, I'm doing something a little different! Since we're coming up to the end of 2016 and there are still many, many, MANY albums I haven't listened to yet from this year, I thought it might be fun to look back over Rock/Metal releases that I haven't covered on the blog and listen to singles from those albums before deciding whether I should visit or review them.
However, after researching album releases for 2016, it turns out there were actually quite a few Rock/Metal albums that I haven't listened to and would consider discussing on here. 12, to be exact. As a result, instead of choosing five to discuss, I'm going to discuss ALL 12 OF THEM! Handy really, as it means I'll be writing about one track for every month of this absolute 9/11 of a year (although not every track/album came out across all 12 months).
So without further ado, let's listen to music I should've listened to months ago when everyone else was excited about it!
"Lazarus" - David Bowie (listen here)
From the album Blackstar (08/01/16)
Remember when Bowie died and everyone thought that would be the shittest thing about this year? Anyway, even though "Lazarus" isn't the lead single off the album, I chose this because it's the song that everyone talked about after his death. I mean, I can't think why, it's not like the song's lyrics or tone have any kind of connection to mortality and anyone who can find a link must be some kind of genius capable of writing the best thinkpieces in all the land!
As for the song itself, I'm no fan but it's not bad. It's gloomy but appropriately so and even though you can call it depressing or morbid, there's a certain kind of bittersweet feeling you get from a well written "sad song" that, thankfully, "Lazarus" successfully pulls off. One good thing I will say about Bowie is that his voice definitely improved over time. He didn't suffer puberty like other Rock vocalists but it became less goofy and more mature, although you could argue that was the result of him dropping the Ziggy persona. I won't be listening to Blackstar anytime soon but I do intend to listen to some Bowie albums from the 70s, the decade where I feel his music had the most value. Speaking of artists who wrote a few great songs in the 70s but sodall else...
"Gardenia" - Iggy Pop (listen here)
From the album Post Pop Depression (18/03/16)
Jesus, I can tell you right now that I won't be listening to this album. I remember hearing this track earlier this year and being incredibly bored by it then but I still decided to revisit it here due to it being the lead single off this album. You might ask why I'd consider listening to this album if I clearly have a preconceived dislike of Iggy Pop but that's not necessarily true. I think Iggy has some great songs that aren't "Lust For Life" or "The Passenger" (my fave of his is "Billy Is A Runaway") but for the most part, his material is a bunch of wank; I'm willing to be proven wrong but sadly, this song isn't the evidence I need.
I mean, come on, can we really call it an Iggy Pop track when it's basically just another product of a Josh Homme project with Iggy on vocals? Unlike Bowie's single, this just sounds dreary and repetitive. It's not even a shit song that grows on you over time, I've had a year to take this in and I still fucking hate it. I fundamentally believe Iggy Pop is an overrated Rock artist but hey, if you like Bowie's new material then you'll probably cum over this.
"No Direction Home" - Cheap Trick (listen here)
From the album Bang, Zoom, Crazy... Hello (01/04/16)
Yeah, Cheap Trick released an album this year. I actually listened to about seven tracks of it before giving up. It wasn't terrible, it was just a bit bland for me. Cheap Trick have proven they can release great Rock songs ("Stiff Competition", "He's A Whore", "Clock Strikes Ten") and even solid modern tracks ("Sick Man Of Europe") but this single is just a bit too average for me to rate it highly. If you like Cheap Trick's sound, give it a listen as it's an enjoyable basic Rock song.
One day, I might complete Bang, Zoom, Crazy... Hello just to say I've listened to the album as I recall enjoying the first few songs but losing interest after the halfway point. As for "No Direction Home", it's OK. It also sounds like it unintentionally borrows ideas from "I Can't Explain" - The Who and "Fly By Night" - Rush. Can you hear the similarities in the music or am I just going mental? I mean, I am basically talking to myself so there's evidence for the latter...MOVING ON!
"Thank God For Girls" - Weezer (listen here)
From the album Weezer (01/04/16)
Yup, Weezer released an album too. I can't say I'll listen to it as I have next to no interest in Weezer's full albums but I do like some of their songs. This track's alright although I can't say I enjoy it as much as their more Rock based songs; stuff off Weezer and a few tracks off Weezer, ya know (can you guess the colours?)? As an outsider who isn't part of the Weezer fanbase, I'm glad they've still remained a Rock band and haven't pulled a Muse, Kings Of Leon or Coldplay.
However, their sound is a bit too immature for me. No matter what they release, it'll always sound like it should be played as background music to teenagers being dropped off at high school during the opening scene of a film about how hard it is to be young and plagued with constant insecurity and erections. Still, at least their music always has energy to it, unlike the next artist.
"Can't Let You Do It" - Eric Clapton (listen here)
From the album I Still Do (20/05/16)
I remember being tempted to actually listen to and discuss this album in a review when it came out. Can you fucking imagine that?! Anyway, this album features songs written by a string of Blues artists and creatively assembled by Eric Boring Clapton. I'm not sure whether it fits more into covers album or studio album but this song is definitely a new one. I believe it was the lead single and even though J.J. Cale never released it as a solo artist, he wrote it for Eric Clapton. Compared to some of his other tracks, it's got a bit of life in it. However, it's important to remember that Clapton is recording it so as a result, it's still fucking dull.
There is one advantage to Eric Clapton's career; it's given me an appreciation of J.J. Cale, as I probably wouldn't have bothered to check his material out if I only knew about him from Lynyrd Skynyrd's cover of "Call Me The Breeze". I've heard Clapton cover that song, "After Midnight" and "Cocaine" and all three of them are shite compared to Cale's versions so yeah, screw Eric Boring Clapton and screw this album.
"Beautiful Broken" - Heart (listen here)
From the album Beautiful Broken (08/07/16)
Fun fact: this song was actually released in 2012 on a deluxe edition of a previous album and compared to this version, it sounds like a cruddy demo recording. The mix is a lot stronger and the guitars are noticeably heavier, probably down to the inclusion of James Hetfield (Metallica) as a guest musician on this track. Again, you could argue that this isn't really a new studio album if it's just a bunch of rerecordings thrown in with a few new songs. However, what you can't argue with is that this track is great and much better than the original.
I'm tempted to give this album a listen if the rest of Beautiful Broken is this strong, seeing as how they chose to make this rerecording of a deluxe edition extra the album opener, lead single and title track. Whether or not I'll review the album is yet to be decided but I think based on this initial taster, I'm inclined to give Heart the benefit of the doubt and tuck into the rest of this record at a later date.
"Show Me A Leader" - Alter Bridge (listen here)
From the album The Last Hero (07/10/16)
I don't know why I don't listen to more Alter Bridge, as they have almost everything that I love about Hard Rock/Metal. It might be down to the fact that whilst I think I've enjoyed every song I've heard by the band, I don't really love any of them. This track follows the same patterns, as I like the riffs and chorus but I doubt I'll buy the track as it's just missing something that clicks with me. However, if you like your Rock heavy, check this song out. It starts off with a solid little introduction that still leaves something to the imagination and remains strong until the end.
I haven't listened to any Alter Bridge albums yet but maybe this will be the first I check out, as I thought this song was good. If you feel like you understand what I like and dislike in Rock/Metal, feel free to recommend any other songs/albums by Alter Bridge via Twitter or the comments section too.
"Bang Bang" - Green Day (listen here)
From the album Revolution Radio (07/10/16)
Right off the bat, this song sounds a hell of a lot like "Girl's Not Grey" - AFI, which is a great thing. Then, just like every other Green Day song that could otherwise be salvaged, Billie Joe Armstrong opens his mouth and it all falls to shit. Admittedly, he sounds a bit less obnoxious in this song but hopefully he'll hit Rock puberty soon and won't sound like he's doing this in between studying for his midterms. As soon as that happens, I'm all up for giving Green Day a chance as musically, they're alright.
This song's quite good and after catching a brief listen of the title track, "Revolution Radio", I found myself enjoying what I heard too (after tuning out BJ's voice). You know what? I might just give this album a listen one day. If I can stomach Guns N' Roses after realising that Axl's a terrible fucking vocalist, maybe I can do the same for Green Day. Mind you, it'll be a fuckton harder if they continue to remain a Pop Punk band unlike other groups from the 90s who made the successful transition into full on Alternative or just plain Rock.
"The Stage" - Avenged Sevenfold (listen here)
From the album The Stage (28/10/16)
Another album where I'm discussing the album opener, lead single and title track. Fortunately, Avenged Sevenfold have a decent track record so you don't have much to worry about. They're going through the Metal motions to the point that they're starting to become more progressive (musically and lyrically with themes about mankind and the universe) and even though they're going through a Spinal Tap situation regarding their drummers, it still sounds like A7X. However, the fact that their song of choice to be the album opener, lead single and title track is over eight minutes long makes it a bit of a slog to sit through.
The band remember their roots and dedicate a minute in the middle to become Sensitive Avenged Sevenfold, similar to "Master Of Puppets" - Metallica in that there's no real payoff to the build-up. However, that's eight-minute Metal for you. I'd recommend this if you like Avenged Sevenfold as the music is tight and the band still have "it". I'm personally torn as to whether or not I want to choose this as my first A7X album and might opt instead for City Of Evil before giving this a try if I'm feeling adventurous enough.
"Brotherhood Of The Snake" - Testament (listen here)
From the album Brotherhood Of The Snake (28/10/16)
I have a mixed opinion of Testament. They're often considered the fifth band of The Big Four (of Thrash Metal) and whilst I like some of their material, their albums that I've listened to (Souls Of Black and The Ritual) have ranged from alright to shite. Since their early days, their sound has become a lot heavier and their music a lot more aggressive to the point where they sound more like a modern Metal band than an 80s/90s Thrash one. If you like your Metal angry and powerful, this is good for you because the album opener, lead single and title track packs a hefty wallop.
However, I doubt I'll listen to this whole album based on this song. I might cherry pick a few random Testament songs if they get recommended for having strong riffs (think "Electric Crown" level of epic riffing) but I have absolute zero interest in listening to Brotherhood Of The Snake until I accidentally stumble across a much better song from the album that piques my interest again.
"This House Is Not For Sale" - Bon Jovi (listen here)
From the album This House Is Not For Sale (04/11/16)
I was tempted to review this album but since it took Bon Jovi and Spotify two weeks to get the album up, I chose to ignore them. However, this single was released on time so I can talk about it here. It's not quite as energetic or anthematic as some of his earlier songs (even "We Don't Run" from the Bridge Burning collection beats this) but it has a catchy chorus, even if it does sound like JBJ was trying to recapture some of the glory from "Livin On A Prayer". The big question is does the new guitarist, Phil X, meet the standard set by Richie Sambora before he become a druggie tosser? The small answer is not really, but he tries.
It's a solid little Rock number, even if it does reach the border between Rock and Pop, but based on this song, I'd recommend giving the album a try...HOWEVER, I've listened to the first five songs off the album and can confirm that this track is misleading. It sounds like generic Pop to the point where you can sing along to "Labor Of Love" with the lyrics from "Don't You (Forget About Me)" - Simple Minds. I'm not sure why Jon's chosen to release Pop instead of Rock now; maybe it's because he's losing his energy, maybe he just wants to get into teenage girl panties again but what I do know is this album probably isn't worth your time.
"Just Your Fool" - The Rolling Stones (listen here)
From the album Blue & Lonesome (02/12/16)
Last on this list is a covers album by a band who probably should've jacked it in about 40 years ago. Similar to Eric Clapton's release, this is a Blues Rock covers album which means it shares the additional similarity of being fucking boring, as demonstrated by this album opener and lead single. I can understand a band like The Rolling Stones releasing a covers album of old Blues material as a passion project, their way of saying thank you to the artists that inspired them (which was likely the main inspiration for Eric Clapton's album). However, this feels more like the band attempting to be relevant again.
It's had somewhat of a big release despite the songs being basic and dull, probably all the band can physically play in a studio right now. If you like Blues Rock in all its boring glory, give this record a listen. For everyone who thinks The Rolling Stones had a couple of decent hits in the 60s, when they were almost stepping into Garage Rock territory, but then became shit after that when they were releasing mediocre Rock music for people who don't know what good Rock is like "Brown Sugar" and "Start Me Up", avoid Blue & Lonesome. At least this song's short so it has something going for it.
That's all 12 of them! If I had to assemble the songs into a ranked list in ascending order based on how much I enjoyed them when preparing for this post (the tracks, not the albums), it'd look something like this:
1. "Beautiful Broken" - Heart
2. "No Direction Home" - Cheap Trick
3. "Thank God For Girls" - Weezer
4. "Bang Bang" - Green Day
5. "Show Me A Leader" - Alter Bridge
6. "This House Is Not For Sale" - Bon Jovi
7. "Lazarus" - David Bowie
8. "The Stage" - Avenged Sevenfold
9. "Brotherhood Of The Snake" - Testament
10. "Can't Let You Do It" - Eric Clapton
11. "Just Your Fool" - The Rolling Stones
12. "Gardenia" - Iggy Pop
This list can and probably will change over time but for now, that's my ranking of all the undiscussed Rock/Metal singles I would've considered reviewing for this blog this year! I have to say, I didn't really love any of these songs so it's probably a good reason I didn't review the albums if these tracks were considered among the strongest by the bands. Anyway, if my maths is correct, there should be another 2-3 posts this year so expect one of them to be video game related.
The other(s)? Who knows? You'll have to revisit to find out!
Previous Taster Session posts usually consist of me discussing five songs from albums coming out within the year before ultimately deciding whether I want to listen to the whole album based on that single. This time, I'm doing something a little different! Since we're coming up to the end of 2016 and there are still many, many, MANY albums I haven't listened to yet from this year, I thought it might be fun to look back over Rock/Metal releases that I haven't covered on the blog and listen to singles from those albums before deciding whether I should visit or review them.
However, after researching album releases for 2016, it turns out there were actually quite a few Rock/Metal albums that I haven't listened to and would consider discussing on here. 12, to be exact. As a result, instead of choosing five to discuss, I'm going to discuss ALL 12 OF THEM! Handy really, as it means I'll be writing about one track for every month of this absolute 9/11 of a year (although not every track/album came out across all 12 months).
So without further ado, let's listen to music I should've listened to months ago when everyone else was excited about it!
"Lazarus" - David Bowie (listen here)
From the album Blackstar (08/01/16)
Remember when Bowie died and everyone thought that would be the shittest thing about this year? Anyway, even though "Lazarus" isn't the lead single off the album, I chose this because it's the song that everyone talked about after his death. I mean, I can't think why, it's not like the song's lyrics or tone have any kind of connection to mortality and anyone who can find a link must be some kind of genius capable of writing the best thinkpieces in all the land!
As for the song itself, I'm no fan but it's not bad. It's gloomy but appropriately so and even though you can call it depressing or morbid, there's a certain kind of bittersweet feeling you get from a well written "sad song" that, thankfully, "Lazarus" successfully pulls off. One good thing I will say about Bowie is that his voice definitely improved over time. He didn't suffer puberty like other Rock vocalists but it became less goofy and more mature, although you could argue that was the result of him dropping the Ziggy persona. I won't be listening to Blackstar anytime soon but I do intend to listen to some Bowie albums from the 70s, the decade where I feel his music had the most value. Speaking of artists who wrote a few great songs in the 70s but sodall else...
"Gardenia" - Iggy Pop (listen here)
From the album Post Pop Depression (18/03/16)
Jesus, I can tell you right now that I won't be listening to this album. I remember hearing this track earlier this year and being incredibly bored by it then but I still decided to revisit it here due to it being the lead single off this album. You might ask why I'd consider listening to this album if I clearly have a preconceived dislike of Iggy Pop but that's not necessarily true. I think Iggy has some great songs that aren't "Lust For Life" or "The Passenger" (my fave of his is "Billy Is A Runaway") but for the most part, his material is a bunch of wank; I'm willing to be proven wrong but sadly, this song isn't the evidence I need.
I mean, come on, can we really call it an Iggy Pop track when it's basically just another product of a Josh Homme project with Iggy on vocals? Unlike Bowie's single, this just sounds dreary and repetitive. It's not even a shit song that grows on you over time, I've had a year to take this in and I still fucking hate it. I fundamentally believe Iggy Pop is an overrated Rock artist but hey, if you like Bowie's new material then you'll probably cum over this.
"No Direction Home" - Cheap Trick (listen here)
From the album Bang, Zoom, Crazy... Hello (01/04/16)
Yeah, Cheap Trick released an album this year. I actually listened to about seven tracks of it before giving up. It wasn't terrible, it was just a bit bland for me. Cheap Trick have proven they can release great Rock songs ("Stiff Competition", "He's A Whore", "Clock Strikes Ten") and even solid modern tracks ("Sick Man Of Europe") but this single is just a bit too average for me to rate it highly. If you like Cheap Trick's sound, give it a listen as it's an enjoyable basic Rock song.
One day, I might complete Bang, Zoom, Crazy... Hello just to say I've listened to the album as I recall enjoying the first few songs but losing interest after the halfway point. As for "No Direction Home", it's OK. It also sounds like it unintentionally borrows ideas from "I Can't Explain" - The Who and "Fly By Night" - Rush. Can you hear the similarities in the music or am I just going mental? I mean, I am basically talking to myself so there's evidence for the latter...MOVING ON!
"Thank God For Girls" - Weezer (listen here)
From the album Weezer (01/04/16)
Yup, Weezer released an album too. I can't say I'll listen to it as I have next to no interest in Weezer's full albums but I do like some of their songs. This track's alright although I can't say I enjoy it as much as their more Rock based songs; stuff off Weezer and a few tracks off Weezer, ya know (can you guess the colours?)? As an outsider who isn't part of the Weezer fanbase, I'm glad they've still remained a Rock band and haven't pulled a Muse, Kings Of Leon or Coldplay.
However, their sound is a bit too immature for me. No matter what they release, it'll always sound like it should be played as background music to teenagers being dropped off at high school during the opening scene of a film about how hard it is to be young and plagued with constant insecurity and erections. Still, at least their music always has energy to it, unlike the next artist.
"Can't Let You Do It" - Eric Clapton (listen here)
From the album I Still Do (20/05/16)
I remember being tempted to actually listen to and discuss this album in a review when it came out. Can you fucking imagine that?! Anyway, this album features songs written by a string of Blues artists and creatively assembled by Eric Boring Clapton. I'm not sure whether it fits more into covers album or studio album but this song is definitely a new one. I believe it was the lead single and even though J.J. Cale never released it as a solo artist, he wrote it for Eric Clapton. Compared to some of his other tracks, it's got a bit of life in it. However, it's important to remember that Clapton is recording it so as a result, it's still fucking dull.
There is one advantage to Eric Clapton's career; it's given me an appreciation of J.J. Cale, as I probably wouldn't have bothered to check his material out if I only knew about him from Lynyrd Skynyrd's cover of "Call Me The Breeze". I've heard Clapton cover that song, "After Midnight" and "Cocaine" and all three of them are shite compared to Cale's versions so yeah, screw Eric Boring Clapton and screw this album.
"Beautiful Broken" - Heart (listen here)
From the album Beautiful Broken (08/07/16)
Fun fact: this song was actually released in 2012 on a deluxe edition of a previous album and compared to this version, it sounds like a cruddy demo recording. The mix is a lot stronger and the guitars are noticeably heavier, probably down to the inclusion of James Hetfield (Metallica) as a guest musician on this track. Again, you could argue that this isn't really a new studio album if it's just a bunch of rerecordings thrown in with a few new songs. However, what you can't argue with is that this track is great and much better than the original.
I'm tempted to give this album a listen if the rest of Beautiful Broken is this strong, seeing as how they chose to make this rerecording of a deluxe edition extra the album opener, lead single and title track. Whether or not I'll review the album is yet to be decided but I think based on this initial taster, I'm inclined to give Heart the benefit of the doubt and tuck into the rest of this record at a later date.
"Show Me A Leader" - Alter Bridge (listen here)
From the album The Last Hero (07/10/16)
I don't know why I don't listen to more Alter Bridge, as they have almost everything that I love about Hard Rock/Metal. It might be down to the fact that whilst I think I've enjoyed every song I've heard by the band, I don't really love any of them. This track follows the same patterns, as I like the riffs and chorus but I doubt I'll buy the track as it's just missing something that clicks with me. However, if you like your Rock heavy, check this song out. It starts off with a solid little introduction that still leaves something to the imagination and remains strong until the end.
I haven't listened to any Alter Bridge albums yet but maybe this will be the first I check out, as I thought this song was good. If you feel like you understand what I like and dislike in Rock/Metal, feel free to recommend any other songs/albums by Alter Bridge via Twitter or the comments section too.
"Bang Bang" - Green Day (listen here)
From the album Revolution Radio (07/10/16)
Right off the bat, this song sounds a hell of a lot like "Girl's Not Grey" - AFI, which is a great thing. Then, just like every other Green Day song that could otherwise be salvaged, Billie Joe Armstrong opens his mouth and it all falls to shit. Admittedly, he sounds a bit less obnoxious in this song but hopefully he'll hit Rock puberty soon and won't sound like he's doing this in between studying for his midterms. As soon as that happens, I'm all up for giving Green Day a chance as musically, they're alright.
This song's quite good and after catching a brief listen of the title track, "Revolution Radio", I found myself enjoying what I heard too (after tuning out BJ's voice). You know what? I might just give this album a listen one day. If I can stomach Guns N' Roses after realising that Axl's a terrible fucking vocalist, maybe I can do the same for Green Day. Mind you, it'll be a fuckton harder if they continue to remain a Pop Punk band unlike other groups from the 90s who made the successful transition into full on Alternative or just plain Rock.
"The Stage" - Avenged Sevenfold (listen here)
From the album The Stage (28/10/16)
Another album where I'm discussing the album opener, lead single and title track. Fortunately, Avenged Sevenfold have a decent track record so you don't have much to worry about. They're going through the Metal motions to the point that they're starting to become more progressive (musically and lyrically with themes about mankind and the universe) and even though they're going through a Spinal Tap situation regarding their drummers, it still sounds like A7X. However, the fact that their song of choice to be the album opener, lead single and title track is over eight minutes long makes it a bit of a slog to sit through.
The band remember their roots and dedicate a minute in the middle to become Sensitive Avenged Sevenfold, similar to "Master Of Puppets" - Metallica in that there's no real payoff to the build-up. However, that's eight-minute Metal for you. I'd recommend this if you like Avenged Sevenfold as the music is tight and the band still have "it". I'm personally torn as to whether or not I want to choose this as my first A7X album and might opt instead for City Of Evil before giving this a try if I'm feeling adventurous enough.
"Brotherhood Of The Snake" - Testament (listen here)
From the album Brotherhood Of The Snake (28/10/16)
I have a mixed opinion of Testament. They're often considered the fifth band of The Big Four (of Thrash Metal) and whilst I like some of their material, their albums that I've listened to (Souls Of Black and The Ritual) have ranged from alright to shite. Since their early days, their sound has become a lot heavier and their music a lot more aggressive to the point where they sound more like a modern Metal band than an 80s/90s Thrash one. If you like your Metal angry and powerful, this is good for you because the album opener, lead single and title track packs a hefty wallop.
However, I doubt I'll listen to this whole album based on this song. I might cherry pick a few random Testament songs if they get recommended for having strong riffs (think "Electric Crown" level of epic riffing) but I have absolute zero interest in listening to Brotherhood Of The Snake until I accidentally stumble across a much better song from the album that piques my interest again.
"This House Is Not For Sale" - Bon Jovi (listen here)
From the album This House Is Not For Sale (04/11/16)
I was tempted to review this album but since it took Bon Jovi and Spotify two weeks to get the album up, I chose to ignore them. However, this single was released on time so I can talk about it here. It's not quite as energetic or anthematic as some of his earlier songs (even "We Don't Run" from the Bridge Burning collection beats this) but it has a catchy chorus, even if it does sound like JBJ was trying to recapture some of the glory from "Livin On A Prayer". The big question is does the new guitarist, Phil X, meet the standard set by Richie Sambora before he become a druggie tosser? The small answer is not really, but he tries.
It's a solid little Rock number, even if it does reach the border between Rock and Pop, but based on this song, I'd recommend giving the album a try...HOWEVER, I've listened to the first five songs off the album and can confirm that this track is misleading. It sounds like generic Pop to the point where you can sing along to "Labor Of Love" with the lyrics from "Don't You (Forget About Me)" - Simple Minds. I'm not sure why Jon's chosen to release Pop instead of Rock now; maybe it's because he's losing his energy, maybe he just wants to get into teenage girl panties again but what I do know is this album probably isn't worth your time.
"Just Your Fool" - The Rolling Stones (listen here)
From the album Blue & Lonesome (02/12/16)
Last on this list is a covers album by a band who probably should've jacked it in about 40 years ago. Similar to Eric Clapton's release, this is a Blues Rock covers album which means it shares the additional similarity of being fucking boring, as demonstrated by this album opener and lead single. I can understand a band like The Rolling Stones releasing a covers album of old Blues material as a passion project, their way of saying thank you to the artists that inspired them (which was likely the main inspiration for Eric Clapton's album). However, this feels more like the band attempting to be relevant again.
It's had somewhat of a big release despite the songs being basic and dull, probably all the band can physically play in a studio right now. If you like Blues Rock in all its boring glory, give this record a listen. For everyone who thinks The Rolling Stones had a couple of decent hits in the 60s, when they were almost stepping into Garage Rock territory, but then became shit after that when they were releasing mediocre Rock music for people who don't know what good Rock is like "Brown Sugar" and "Start Me Up", avoid Blue & Lonesome. At least this song's short so it has something going for it.
That's all 12 of them! If I had to assemble the songs into a ranked list in ascending order based on how much I enjoyed them when preparing for this post (the tracks, not the albums), it'd look something like this:
1. "Beautiful Broken" - Heart
2. "No Direction Home" - Cheap Trick
3. "Thank God For Girls" - Weezer
4. "Bang Bang" - Green Day
5. "Show Me A Leader" - Alter Bridge
6. "This House Is Not For Sale" - Bon Jovi
7. "Lazarus" - David Bowie
8. "The Stage" - Avenged Sevenfold
9. "Brotherhood Of The Snake" - Testament
10. "Can't Let You Do It" - Eric Clapton
11. "Just Your Fool" - The Rolling Stones
12. "Gardenia" - Iggy Pop
This list can and probably will change over time but for now, that's my ranking of all the undiscussed Rock/Metal singles I would've considered reviewing for this blog this year! I have to say, I didn't really love any of these songs so it's probably a good reason I didn't review the albums if these tracks were considered among the strongest by the bands. Anyway, if my maths is correct, there should be another 2-3 posts this year so expect one of them to be video game related.
The other(s)? Who knows? You'll have to revisit to find out!
Thursday, 15 December 2016
Rapid Fire: Boston, Winger, Damn Yankees
Apologies for missing blog posts recently but here's the first of two I intend on posting this week. It's been a while since I've done a Rapid Fire post so for those of you who don't remember, I'm basically going to quickly discuss three different albums that have been out and about for a while now rather than go into one single album with the usual amount of depth that a review contains.
The three albums are often linked in some way, whether it's by genre or decade, but this link is simply self-titled debut albums from different decades. There are several albums to choose from so I may revisit this link one day but for now, I've chosen my three!
First up, we have a record which has been mentioned a few times on the blog and is easily one of the finest albums for the genre ever written.
1. Boston - Boston
Everything on this album is perfect.
From the amazing album cover to the production values, this is a classic and deserves a spot in the Rock & Roll Halls Of Fame (not the tacky one which every Rock star hates, I mean the ethereal one beyond this plain of reality). Album opener "More Than A Feeling" is probably the most iconic Classic Rock song of all time but anyone who's listened to the album will probably agree in saying it's not even one of the best tracks on it. However, it is a great song and a suitable introduction to the album. Each track stands out as being a well-crafted, beautifully written masterpiece and the whole album blends together without fault.
However, behind the upbeat Classic Rock music, the lyrics hint at something a bit more sombre. You could argue that one of the main themes for this album whether intentional or not is suicide as a means of reaching a better destination, as the album is littered with lines that could be interpreted in such a way ("I close my eyes and I slipped away", "you'll forget about me after I've been gone", "all I want is to have my peace of mind"). Hell, "Hitch A Ride" is full of them but that doesn't stop it from being an incredible track and my personal favourite off the album with an excellent guitar solo at the end*.
The main takeaway is that it's a versatile album. Want to listen to it whilst roaring down the highway? Stick "Smokin'" on and have a blast. Chilling in the house/doing some DIY? You want "Foreplay/Long Time" or "Something About You". Feeling relaxed? "Let Me Take You Home Tonight", provided you don't mind waking up a bit during the outro. It suits all moods and has more layers than your average Rock album, clearly the result of artists who took pride and care in their work. It's a shame the studio pressured them into pumping more music out, as the follow-up is OK but doesn't touch the greatness of the debut.
The three albums are often linked in some way, whether it's by genre or decade, but this link is simply self-titled debut albums from different decades. There are several albums to choose from so I may revisit this link one day but for now, I've chosen my three!
First up, we have a record which has been mentioned a few times on the blog and is easily one of the finest albums for the genre ever written.
1. Boston - Boston
Everything on this album is perfect.
From the amazing album cover to the production values, this is a classic and deserves a spot in the Rock & Roll Halls Of Fame (not the tacky one which every Rock star hates, I mean the ethereal one beyond this plain of reality). Album opener "More Than A Feeling" is probably the most iconic Classic Rock song of all time but anyone who's listened to the album will probably agree in saying it's not even one of the best tracks on it. However, it is a great song and a suitable introduction to the album. Each track stands out as being a well-crafted, beautifully written masterpiece and the whole album blends together without fault.
However, behind the upbeat Classic Rock music, the lyrics hint at something a bit more sombre. You could argue that one of the main themes for this album whether intentional or not is suicide as a means of reaching a better destination, as the album is littered with lines that could be interpreted in such a way ("I close my eyes and I slipped away", "you'll forget about me after I've been gone", "all I want is to have my peace of mind"). Hell, "Hitch A Ride" is full of them but that doesn't stop it from being an incredible track and my personal favourite off the album with an excellent guitar solo at the end*.
The main takeaway is that it's a versatile album. Want to listen to it whilst roaring down the highway? Stick "Smokin'" on and have a blast. Chilling in the house/doing some DIY? You want "Foreplay/Long Time" or "Something About You". Feeling relaxed? "Let Me Take You Home Tonight", provided you don't mind waking up a bit during the outro. It suits all moods and has more layers than your average Rock album, clearly the result of artists who took pride and care in their work. It's a shame the studio pressured them into pumping more music out, as the follow-up is OK but doesn't touch the greatness of the debut.
1. More Than A Feeling
2. Peace Of Mind
3. Foreplay/Long Time
4. Rock & Roll Band
5. Smokin'
6. Hitch A Ride
7. Something About You
8. Let Me Take You Home Tonight
ALBUM RATING - 10/10
Strong start, right there. Next up, we have a Hair Metal album from a band that probably deserves a bit more radio airtime than they're getting.
2. Winger - Winger
2. Winger - Winger
Whilst some tracks may give this record the illusion of another bland Hair Metal album, Winger is actually a bit more complex than that. Sure, all the hallmarks are there from sing-a-long choruses to lyrics about love and sex but there's something a bit more technical about the music than your average Poison or Motley Crue track. As well as boasting frenzied solos, the guitar and bass melodies in the verses pack more than a few basic chord sequences and the overall structure for each song is less formulaic than your standard Rock tracks.
Popular hits from the album include obligatory power ballad "Headed For A Heartbreak", thankfully shoved at the very end of the album to wind things down and "Seventeen", a catchy tune about a sexy teenager. However, one of the biggest problems with the album is the lack of variety. Kip Winger, whilst easily a talented vocalist and bassist, only had so much inspiration for songwriting as familiar riffs and sounds creep into the lesser known tracks, e.g. "Without The Night" using similar keyboard melodies to "Headed For A Heartbreak", "Hungry" and "Time To Surrender" containing the same chord transition during the chorus and "Poison Angel" treading dangerously close to opening with a sped up version of the "Seventeen" intro.
Fortunately, this means that if you like Winger's singles, you'll probably love the entire album. Sure, the tracks may share features that are easy to compare but they're all standalone tracks with more differences than similarities. It's a fine album for fans of Hair Metal who want something a bit more stimulating than "Talk Dirty To Me".
Damn Yankees were a supergroup from the 90s featuring the guitarist/vocalist from Styx (Tommy Shaw), the bassist from Night Ranger (Jack Blades), a drummer named Michael Cartellone and Ted Nugent, probably the biggest name out of the bunch and not for good reasons. In all fairness, it's not a bad debut. It also does the job of a good supergroup and sounds like a healthy blend of styles rather than just another vehicle for one member to write the same kind of music but without someone they didn't get along with in a previous band.
It's actually quite impressive that all the positive aspects of each band the musicians came from has been amplified here; the music's more polished than Ted Nugent's, more raw than Night Ranger and heavier than Styx. Granted there are some tracks that you can tell were written by certain band members ("Rock City" and "Piledriver" belonging to Ted, "High Enough" belonging to Jack and "Come Again" belonging to Tommy) but every band member has made their mark on each song. However, unlike music from their previous endeavours, the songs on Damn Yankees are quite homogeneous. You can listen to the album start to finish, enjoy most of it but then struggle to remember which title pairs with which song about ten minutes later.
The only track that stands out to me in a good way is the title track, "Damn Yankees". It's got catchy riffs and a chorus that announces their presence on the Rock scene with pride. However, despite standing out, it doesn't have the same repeat value as some of the tracks I've mentioned on this post by the two other bands. I would recommend this album if you like uncompromising Hard Rock and want something to dip into every five months or so but not if you want an album to stick in the car for your drives in and out of work each morning.
Popular hits from the album include obligatory power ballad "Headed For A Heartbreak", thankfully shoved at the very end of the album to wind things down and "Seventeen", a catchy tune about a sexy teenager. However, one of the biggest problems with the album is the lack of variety. Kip Winger, whilst easily a talented vocalist and bassist, only had so much inspiration for songwriting as familiar riffs and sounds creep into the lesser known tracks, e.g. "Without The Night" using similar keyboard melodies to "Headed For A Heartbreak", "Hungry" and "Time To Surrender" containing the same chord transition during the chorus and "Poison Angel" treading dangerously close to opening with a sped up version of the "Seventeen" intro.
Fortunately, this means that if you like Winger's singles, you'll probably love the entire album. Sure, the tracks may share features that are easy to compare but they're all standalone tracks with more differences than similarities. It's a fine album for fans of Hair Metal who want something a bit more stimulating than "Talk Dirty To Me".
1. Madalaine
2. Hungry
3. Seventeen
4. Without The Night
5. Purple Haze
6. State Of Emergency
7. Time To Surrender
8. Poison Angel
9. Hangin On
10. Headed For A Heartbreak
ALBUM RATING - 7/10
Finally, our last eponymous debut is from the 90s so you know it's going to be more disappointing than the previous two.
3. Damn Yankees - Damn Yankees
It's actually quite impressive that all the positive aspects of each band the musicians came from has been amplified here; the music's more polished than Ted Nugent's, more raw than Night Ranger and heavier than Styx. Granted there are some tracks that you can tell were written by certain band members ("Rock City" and "Piledriver" belonging to Ted, "High Enough" belonging to Jack and "Come Again" belonging to Tommy) but every band member has made their mark on each song. However, unlike music from their previous endeavours, the songs on Damn Yankees are quite homogeneous. You can listen to the album start to finish, enjoy most of it but then struggle to remember which title pairs with which song about ten minutes later.
The only track that stands out to me in a good way is the title track, "Damn Yankees". It's got catchy riffs and a chorus that announces their presence on the Rock scene with pride. However, despite standing out, it doesn't have the same repeat value as some of the tracks I've mentioned on this post by the two other bands. I would recommend this album if you like uncompromising Hard Rock and want something to dip into every five months or so but not if you want an album to stick in the car for your drives in and out of work each morning.
1. Coming Of Age
2. Bad Reputation
3. Runaway
4. High Enough
5. Damn Yankees
6. Come Again
7. Mystified
8. Rock City
9. Tell Me How You Want It
10. Piledriver
ALBUM RATING - 6/10
Expect another post this week that may or may not involve video games.
* I know this sounds a bit forced but Brad Delp (lead vocalist) did actually kill himself over ten years ago and guess which song they played at his funeral?
Sunday, 4 December 2016
Tenology: Absolute Axls In Rock/Metal
If you haven't read my Rock Glossary blog post, you might not know what I mean by "Absolute Axls" and I wouldn't blame you, seeing as how I coined the term.
An Axl is a single factor in a pretty awesome Rock/Metal song that spoils it, named after the Guns N' Roses vocalist Axl Rose whom I have determined to be the sole component in every one of their songs that prevents them from being truly great. Granted you can apply this to a bunch of other names known in the Rock community for screwing up perfectly working dynamics in bands (e.g. Yoko Ono, Van Hagar) but to me, none really convey the message that the song would otherwise be bloody brilliant if not for one whiny, mewling, self-obsessed, wankstain of a blemish quite like 'Axl'.
So what better way of introducing yet another dig at the portly GNR vocalist than an entire blog post dedicated to listing ten fuckups in Rock/Metal songs with his name attached to each of them? As usual, Tenology posts aren't the same as Top Ten posts. These are just ten tracks I've listed in no particular order, each with a category of Axl that I've tried to avoid repeating. Also, I'm not including songs from blog posts I've already written about terrible lyrics but if you'd like to read more on those Axls, have at it.
Time to start this celebration of negativity!
1. "Fast Train" - April Wine
Starting off with a fairly obscure song by Rock standards but an Axl just as strong as any other. If you've not heard this song, seek it out on Spotify or Youtube and listen to the first minute or so of it. It's a decent little Classic Rock number with a great acoustic riff and a sweet introduction of drums, bass and electric guitar after the first verse. It sounds like it's going to be a great tune and then it reaches the one minute mark and it all falls to shit.
Have you listened to it yet? It's OK, I'll wait.
Heard it now?
...
WHAT THE BLOODY HELL WERE THEY THINKING?! It's not even a subtle change like some songs manage to pull off, it sounds clumsy and disorganised on every instrument like they only had one shot at recording the track and decided to keep the balls-up in. This is further backed up when the drummer returns to the original tempo during the guitar solo but sadly, it's not enough to erase this particularly striking blemish from an otherwise alright song.
2. "Deth Starr" - Tenacious D
I remember being so hyped for this song when the album was announced. I'd found live footage of early versions of it in 2014 and probably contributed to at least half of the total view count watching it over and over and over again. It was an explosive bomb track that packed one hell of an intergalactic wallop and fortunately, the studio version lived up to my expectations...at least until I got to the 3:40 mark and the soft introduction came back again. Why did they include a minute-long reprise when all it does is slow down an energetic Hard Rock track and add absolutely zero humour?
It should've ended after 3:40, making it tight and perfect. Also, on the topic of things they should've done with this song, they missed a trick in the clean version lyrics. Instead of "get your ship together, mother trucker", they should've sung "get your ship together, space trucker" as a reference to the Deep Purple song. Would've been neat but ah well.
3. "Rock 'N' Roll Pest Control" - The Presidents Of The United States Of America
This may be a cover version but since the original by the Young Fresh Fellows doesn't have the same guitar solo, I'm only applying the Axl to this recording. It also only really applies to this cover because everything else in the song is excellent, right down to the specific tones used for the guitar. The only thing that lets it down, and my God is it a letdown, is the truly godawful solo. Now I could've chosen from a vast pool of brilliant songs with bad guitar solos such as "(Don't Fear) The Reaper" - Blue Oyster Cult, "One Vision" - Queen or "Ah! Leah!" - Donnie Iris, but only once you've listened to the steaming pile of shite that is this song's solo will you understand why I chose this above all others.
It is, without a doubt in my mind, the single worst guitar solo I have ever heard or will hear in my entire life. It's so terrible that I've stopped listening to this song in public as I refuse to expose unwilling ears to what sounds like a 1970s computer being fucked to death.
4. "Golden Age Of Leather" - Blue Oyster Cult
This isn't one of Blue Oyster Cult's strongest albums but it has a few gems, including this one. However, it's easy to pass this one by if you can't make it past the 23 second vocal chant at the start. It's a right pile of artificial crap with naff lyrics that doesn't even have the right cadence at the end. Fortunately, if you buy this song, you can do what I did and change the start time of the song so it skips the chant, meaning it's not as bad as other Axls that appear in the middle of a track.
Plus, once the first 23 seconds are over, the rest of the song is ace! The second half with the increased tempo is possibly one of BoC's finest moments with a collection of epic Buck Dharma riffs and one of Rock's few suitable uses for a fade out during the outro. Just a shame the opening is enough to make you want to seek better music elsewhere.
5. "Dream On" - Aerosmith
I've never thought of myself as an Aerosmith fan due to their soft underbelly that's always present throughout their career. I know they wrote a song about inappropriate behaviour in a lift and some of their tracks have damn fine riffs (although I reckon that's mostly down to Joe Perry than Aerosmith as a unit) but I still think they're wet blankets in comparison to other Rock bands like The Who, a band that could write softer songs and still come across as a bunch of hard rockin' dudes. Anyway, this song off their debut is a pretty decent power ballad that eventually builds up to Steven Tyler screaming "Dream on!" towards the end. Normally, it'd sound badass. However, in this song, it sounds ridiculous.
I know Steve was insecure about the sound of his voice when they first started out and I can see why. I always picture him sucking helium out of a balloon before he starts screaming those lines. The funny thing is if you compare it to a rerecording by Aerosmith about 30 years or so later, the 2007 version sounds WAY better. It actually has power behind the vocals and makes the original sound utterly limp. Much like the live version of "Do You Feel Like We Do" - Peter Frampton, the rerecord deserves to replace the original as the true version of "Dream On". Until then, consider this another Axl.
6. "Rusty Cage" - Soundgarden
I bloody love this track. That echo effect on the vocals, that thick bass, that bizarre riff, that persistent drumbeat, it all comes together to make a Rock song that sounds like no other. The only thing that would make it perfect is if it ended at 2:56 on the dot before it could devolve into a sludgy poor-man's Black Sabbath knock-off. It ruins everything that was perfect about the song and forces you to listen to another minute and a half of shite.
If you're in the same boat as me and think the song would've been better had it completely shaved that slower section off, there's a version of that edit that appears in Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas on a radio station that may or may not be a single version. Unfortunately, you can't buy that version on iTunes (at least you couldn't when I last looked) but you can find that version on Youtube in pretty good quality so enjoy!
7. "Master Of Puppets" - Metallica
Metallica's signature song and, according to many of their die-hard fans, their best. It's a proper powerhouse of a track full of epic riffs and boasting one of Metal's greatest choruses. However, unlike typical Metallica tracks, this song starts off heavy and then introduces the softer part in the middle (the band have actually acknowledged that this was a play on their usual style). The result of this is a looooooot of build-up to get from slow soft melodies to slow heavy riffs and then to faster heavy music to introduce the solo. This wouldn't be so much of a problem if the solo was fast and furious enough but sadly, much like the "Pull Me Under" - Dream Theater solo, it's over before you know it.
To clarify, this isn't the same as me saying the solo is bad. It's actually a pretty decent solo but it needed to come sooner in the track. Alternatively, if the build up had to stay, it needed to maintain that ferocious energy right up until the return to the first section/verse. I'd argue that the music between 6:08 and 6:48 probably could've been cut or, if the softer section could be shitcanned, extended so that the end of the solo bursts straight into "Hell is worth all that". It would've kept the momentum going and brought the track length down to a much better 7:55, seeing as how the best Metallica songs all stay below the eight minute mark.
8. "Lucky Man" - Emerson, Lake & Palmer
I don't know much ELP but I do know this song and I have to say, I really like it up until the 3:21 mark when what I can only describe as gratuitous synth kicks in. It's a lovely, delicate Folk song with a suitable guitar solo earlier on that could've finished after that chorus but nope, instead you get another minute or so of utterly unnecessary keyboard pitch bending. There's a scene in an episode of Community where Chevy Chase is playing a keyboard solo involving pitch bending and rocks back and forth whilst making silly facial expressions which I can only assume was inspired by this song, as they both go together perfectly.
From what I've heard, they tend to cut out the shitty keys during live performances and there is a single edit which may do without it too. However, the full album version with gratuitous synth still exists and will always be a black spot on this otherwise wonderful song.
9. "Rock 'N' Roll Children" - Dio
There's something about Dio's lyrics that seem a bit pompous and almost silly at times. They're usually focused around mythology and if you're into that kind of storytelling in music, his songs are cracking. For me, they just take themselves a little too seriously which, when paired with synth, doesn't work regardless of how heavy the riffs or aggressive the shredding. However, this song's silly for a different reason. This is where Dio's music crosses into Spinal Tap territory as he sings "just like somebody slammed the door" shortly before he yells "BANG!". I'm sure it was intended to be awesome but it totally misses that mark and manages to sound even more ridiculous than if they actually used a door slamming sound effect.
The rest of the song is a serviceable Metal tune and luckily Dio doesn't pull anymore silly exclamations like that again, even when he sings about door slamming. However, the first and only time is enough to stop me from listening to this song without laughing or at least smiling. It's meant to sound so grand and magnificent and all I can picture is tiny little Dio in a sound booth shouting "BANG!" like a kid with a toy gun...and now you will too!
10. "My Songs Know What You Did In The Dark (Light Em Up)" - Fall Out Boy
Whilst I intensely dislike Fall Out Boy and the scene they represent, they do have their moments. This is by far their strongest one to date and if it wasn't by them, I probably would've bought it on iTunes a long time ago. It's surprisingly heavy for them, loaded with catchy vocal and guitar hooks and, perhaps best of all, lacks a middle section where they can slow everything down and get all sensitive like most American bands tend to do. However, there is one thing it's missing; a sweet guitar solo.
If Fall Out Boy had a little bit more talent and set their sights higher than teenage dipshits with daddy issues, they could've found a place for a powerful guitar solo. Maybe it would've happened at 2:12 before picking up with the rest of the song or maybe it would've been an outro solo playing underneath the chanting if the song lasted longer than 3:07; what I do know is it's too short as it is and they needed to take the power they harnessed and fucking run with it.
Do you agree with my list of Axls? Am I being too unfair on some of these tracks ("how can the lack of anything be an Axl?") or have I forgotten far worse Axls that need to be recognised? Let me know in the comments or via Twitter.
Also, some of you might be interested to know that as a result of this post, I'll be writing a similar one at some point looking at the complete inverse; ten absolutely terrible songs each with one amazing factor that manages to salvage it.
All I need to do first is think of a name for that term and yes, suggestions are welcome...
An Axl is a single factor in a pretty awesome Rock/Metal song that spoils it, named after the Guns N' Roses vocalist Axl Rose whom I have determined to be the sole component in every one of their songs that prevents them from being truly great. Granted you can apply this to a bunch of other names known in the Rock community for screwing up perfectly working dynamics in bands (e.g. Yoko Ono, Van Hagar) but to me, none really convey the message that the song would otherwise be bloody brilliant if not for one whiny, mewling, self-obsessed, wankstain of a blemish quite like 'Axl'.
So what better way of introducing yet another dig at the portly GNR vocalist than an entire blog post dedicated to listing ten fuckups in Rock/Metal songs with his name attached to each of them? As usual, Tenology posts aren't the same as Top Ten posts. These are just ten tracks I've listed in no particular order, each with a category of Axl that I've tried to avoid repeating. Also, I'm not including songs from blog posts I've already written about terrible lyrics but if you'd like to read more on those Axls, have at it.
Time to start this celebration of negativity!
1. "Fast Train" - April Wine
Axl: Tempo change
Fuck me, that's an appealing album cover
Starting off with a fairly obscure song by Rock standards but an Axl just as strong as any other. If you've not heard this song, seek it out on Spotify or Youtube and listen to the first minute or so of it. It's a decent little Classic Rock number with a great acoustic riff and a sweet introduction of drums, bass and electric guitar after the first verse. It sounds like it's going to be a great tune and then it reaches the one minute mark and it all falls to shit.
Have you listened to it yet? It's OK, I'll wait.
Heard it now?
...
WHAT THE BLOODY HELL WERE THEY THINKING?! It's not even a subtle change like some songs manage to pull off, it sounds clumsy and disorganised on every instrument like they only had one shot at recording the track and decided to keep the balls-up in. This is further backed up when the drummer returns to the original tempo during the guitar solo but sadly, it's not enough to erase this particularly striking blemish from an otherwise alright song.
2. "Deth Starr" - Tenacious D
Axl: Pointless reprise
Still my favourite song on the album
I remember being so hyped for this song when the album was announced. I'd found live footage of early versions of it in 2014 and probably contributed to at least half of the total view count watching it over and over and over again. It was an explosive bomb track that packed one hell of an intergalactic wallop and fortunately, the studio version lived up to my expectations...at least until I got to the 3:40 mark and the soft introduction came back again. Why did they include a minute-long reprise when all it does is slow down an energetic Hard Rock track and add absolutely zero humour?
It should've ended after 3:40, making it tight and perfect. Also, on the topic of things they should've done with this song, they missed a trick in the clean version lyrics. Instead of "get your ship together, mother trucker", they should've sung "get your ship together, space trucker" as a reference to the Deep Purple song. Would've been neat but ah well.
3. "Rock 'N' Roll Pest Control" - The Presidents Of The United States Of America
Axl: Guitar solo
You might remember this track from an episode of Futurama
This may be a cover version but since the original by the Young Fresh Fellows doesn't have the same guitar solo, I'm only applying the Axl to this recording. It also only really applies to this cover because everything else in the song is excellent, right down to the specific tones used for the guitar. The only thing that lets it down, and my God is it a letdown, is the truly godawful solo. Now I could've chosen from a vast pool of brilliant songs with bad guitar solos such as "(Don't Fear) The Reaper" - Blue Oyster Cult, "One Vision" - Queen or "Ah! Leah!" - Donnie Iris, but only once you've listened to the steaming pile of shite that is this song's solo will you understand why I chose this above all others.
It is, without a doubt in my mind, the single worst guitar solo I have ever heard or will hear in my entire life. It's so terrible that I've stopped listening to this song in public as I refuse to expose unwilling ears to what sounds like a 1970s computer being fucked to death.
4. "Golden Age Of Leather" - Blue Oyster Cult
Axl: Opening vocal chant
Whadda ya know? I included Blue Oyster Cult anyway!
This isn't one of Blue Oyster Cult's strongest albums but it has a few gems, including this one. However, it's easy to pass this one by if you can't make it past the 23 second vocal chant at the start. It's a right pile of artificial crap with naff lyrics that doesn't even have the right cadence at the end. Fortunately, if you buy this song, you can do what I did and change the start time of the song so it skips the chant, meaning it's not as bad as other Axls that appear in the middle of a track.
Plus, once the first 23 seconds are over, the rest of the song is ace! The second half with the increased tempo is possibly one of BoC's finest moments with a collection of epic Buck Dharma riffs and one of Rock's few suitable uses for a fade out during the outro. Just a shame the opening is enough to make you want to seek better music elsewhere.
5. "Dream On" - Aerosmith
Axl: Vocal pitch change
If I ever do a blog post on embarrassing debut album covers, remind me this one exists
I've never thought of myself as an Aerosmith fan due to their soft underbelly that's always present throughout their career. I know they wrote a song about inappropriate behaviour in a lift and some of their tracks have damn fine riffs (although I reckon that's mostly down to Joe Perry than Aerosmith as a unit) but I still think they're wet blankets in comparison to other Rock bands like The Who, a band that could write softer songs and still come across as a bunch of hard rockin' dudes. Anyway, this song off their debut is a pretty decent power ballad that eventually builds up to Steven Tyler screaming "Dream on!" towards the end. Normally, it'd sound badass. However, in this song, it sounds ridiculous.
I know Steve was insecure about the sound of his voice when they first started out and I can see why. I always picture him sucking helium out of a balloon before he starts screaming those lines. The funny thing is if you compare it to a rerecording by Aerosmith about 30 years or so later, the 2007 version sounds WAY better. It actually has power behind the vocals and makes the original sound utterly limp. Much like the live version of "Do You Feel Like We Do" - Peter Frampton, the rerecord deserves to replace the original as the true version of "Dream On". Until then, consider this another Axl.
6. "Rusty Cage" - Soundgarden
Axl: Slower section
Fuck "Black Hole Sun", THIS is top quality Soundgarden!
I bloody love this track. That echo effect on the vocals, that thick bass, that bizarre riff, that persistent drumbeat, it all comes together to make a Rock song that sounds like no other. The only thing that would make it perfect is if it ended at 2:56 on the dot before it could devolve into a sludgy poor-man's Black Sabbath knock-off. It ruins everything that was perfect about the song and forces you to listen to another minute and a half of shite.
If you're in the same boat as me and think the song would've been better had it completely shaved that slower section off, there's a version of that edit that appears in Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas on a radio station that may or may not be a single version. Unfortunately, you can't buy that version on iTunes (at least you couldn't when I last looked) but you can find that version on Youtube in pretty good quality so enjoy!
7. "Master Of Puppets" - Metallica
Axl: Too much build-up, not enough pay-off
Wonder how many metalheads I'll piss off with this opinion...
Metallica's signature song and, according to many of their die-hard fans, their best. It's a proper powerhouse of a track full of epic riffs and boasting one of Metal's greatest choruses. However, unlike typical Metallica tracks, this song starts off heavy and then introduces the softer part in the middle (the band have actually acknowledged that this was a play on their usual style). The result of this is a looooooot of build-up to get from slow soft melodies to slow heavy riffs and then to faster heavy music to introduce the solo. This wouldn't be so much of a problem if the solo was fast and furious enough but sadly, much like the "Pull Me Under" - Dream Theater solo, it's over before you know it.
To clarify, this isn't the same as me saying the solo is bad. It's actually a pretty decent solo but it needed to come sooner in the track. Alternatively, if the build up had to stay, it needed to maintain that ferocious energy right up until the return to the first section/verse. I'd argue that the music between 6:08 and 6:48 probably could've been cut or, if the softer section could be shitcanned, extended so that the end of the solo bursts straight into "Hell is worth all that". It would've kept the momentum going and brought the track length down to a much better 7:55, seeing as how the best Metallica songs all stay below the eight minute mark.
8. "Lucky Man" - Emerson, Lake & Palmer
Axl: Keyboard solo
This song loses the fucking plot when the synth comes in
I don't know much ELP but I do know this song and I have to say, I really like it up until the 3:21 mark when what I can only describe as gratuitous synth kicks in. It's a lovely, delicate Folk song with a suitable guitar solo earlier on that could've finished after that chorus but nope, instead you get another minute or so of utterly unnecessary keyboard pitch bending. There's a scene in an episode of Community where Chevy Chase is playing a keyboard solo involving pitch bending and rocks back and forth whilst making silly facial expressions which I can only assume was inspired by this song, as they both go together perfectly.
From what I've heard, they tend to cut out the shitty keys during live performances and there is a single edit which may do without it too. However, the full album version with gratuitous synth still exists and will always be a black spot on this otherwise wonderful song.
9. "Rock 'N' Roll Children" - Dio
Axl: "BANG!"
I was tempted to include this in a terrible lyrics post but decided against it, as it's only one word
There's something about Dio's lyrics that seem a bit pompous and almost silly at times. They're usually focused around mythology and if you're into that kind of storytelling in music, his songs are cracking. For me, they just take themselves a little too seriously which, when paired with synth, doesn't work regardless of how heavy the riffs or aggressive the shredding. However, this song's silly for a different reason. This is where Dio's music crosses into Spinal Tap territory as he sings "just like somebody slammed the door" shortly before he yells "BANG!". I'm sure it was intended to be awesome but it totally misses that mark and manages to sound even more ridiculous than if they actually used a door slamming sound effect.
The rest of the song is a serviceable Metal tune and luckily Dio doesn't pull anymore silly exclamations like that again, even when he sings about door slamming. However, the first and only time is enough to stop me from listening to this song without laughing or at least smiling. It's meant to sound so grand and magnificent and all I can picture is tiny little Dio in a sound booth shouting "BANG!" like a kid with a toy gun...and now you will too!
10. "My Songs Know What You Did In The Dark (Light Em Up)" - Fall Out Boy
Axl: Lack of a guitar solo
In an alternate reality where everything is 100% more awesome, this is what Coldplay sounds like
Whilst I intensely dislike Fall Out Boy and the scene they represent, they do have their moments. This is by far their strongest one to date and if it wasn't by them, I probably would've bought it on iTunes a long time ago. It's surprisingly heavy for them, loaded with catchy vocal and guitar hooks and, perhaps best of all, lacks a middle section where they can slow everything down and get all sensitive like most American bands tend to do. However, there is one thing it's missing; a sweet guitar solo.
If Fall Out Boy had a little bit more talent and set their sights higher than teenage dipshits with daddy issues, they could've found a place for a powerful guitar solo. Maybe it would've happened at 2:12 before picking up with the rest of the song or maybe it would've been an outro solo playing underneath the chanting if the song lasted longer than 3:07; what I do know is it's too short as it is and they needed to take the power they harnessed and fucking run with it.
Do you agree with my list of Axls? Am I being too unfair on some of these tracks ("how can the lack of anything be an Axl?") or have I forgotten far worse Axls that need to be recognised? Let me know in the comments or via Twitter.
Also, some of you might be interested to know that as a result of this post, I'll be writing a similar one at some point looking at the complete inverse; ten absolutely terrible songs each with one amazing factor that manages to salvage it.
All I need to do first is think of a name for that term and yes, suggestions are welcome...
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