Rapid Fire: King Crimson, Rob Zombie, Horisont

I know I said I was gonna do Living The Dream - Uriah Heep in a Rapid Fire post but that can wait; we've got three albums with spooky looking album covers to discuss, starting with this Proggy waste of time!

1. In The Court Of The Crimson King - King Crimson

I've always found this album cover to be kinda off-putting so it definitely belongs in this Rapid Fire post, especially if you imagine the contorted face of horror is reacting to a spooky ghost or something. I'll tell you something else as well; this album is NOT an easy find online. However, after searching for each song, I listened to the entire thing and can confirm that I absolutely wasted my time. This album is shit. It's worse than shit; it's long, drawn-out, pretentious, tedious, over-inflated, noisy shit. However, if there's one type of shit it isn't, it's pointless shit.
Whilst I despise every song on this godawful record, from wacky album opener "21st Century Schizoid Man" to horrific masturbation "The Court Of The Crimson King", it's a necessary evil in the world of music because this turd masquerading as "art" inspired a myriad of much greater albums and bands. Hell, it arguably created the Prog Rock genre; we have Yes, Genesis, The Moody Blues, Jethro Tull, Dream Theater, Rush, all manner of great bands who had the sense to realise you could make something long-winded and grand without sounding like something made when university students program laptop AI to make a 50 minute album.
This isn't one of those albums that you must listen to before you die; you get nothing out of it, presumably the reason why so many critics who should know better claim it's such a great album. If you don't feel anything, you're probably not getting it which means you're a stoopidhead so you better praise it to give yourself credibility. I wouldn't recommend In The Court Of The Emperor's New Clothes to anyone as it's nothing more than a misfire that happened to give us a great musical genre. If you do like this album, good for you. I don't think worse of you for liking this but nobody should think better of you either.

1. 21st Century Schizoid Man

2. I Talk To The Wind

3. Epitaph

4. Moonchild

5. The Court Of The Crimson King

ALBUM RATING - 1/10

2. Hellbilly Deluxe - Rob Zombie

This is probably more appropriate for a Halloween themed blog post, due to the deliberately scary album cover and music based off classic Horror films. This was Rob Zombie's first solo album after White Zombie and whilst the music still contains his typical sound of growling vocals, heavy riffs and thunderous percussion, Hellbilly Deluxe is definitely more of an Industrial record than Astro-Creep: 2000 or La Sexorcisto with more emphasis on synth-effects and repetitive structures than guitar solos and other traditional Rock aspects.

The album starts off with its three singles: "Superbeast", "Dragula" and "Living Dead Girl", immediately setting the tone and putting its best foot forwards with three completely different yet consistently heavy tracks. Once these have finished, the album continues to knock down doors with its fine-tuned, well-crafted Dance Metal but by the second half of the record, you'll notice some of the tracks start to drag a little (despite being under five minutes long). It's always the risk when writing an album containing variations on the same song over and over again but at least the song this album is based off is a good one.
Hellbilly Deluxe has some great songs all contained within the first half but the entire album is perfect for background noise, particularly at Halloween parties or similar environments. This is essentially Rob Zombie's shtick; heavy Industrial Metal without complexity featuring old Horror film audio snippets and growling vocals, each track carrying a name that sounds like a Goosebumps title or alcoholic beverage served exclusively at a bar where you have to cover your lid if you want to make it home that night. If you like that kind of music, you definitely won't hate this album although I think anyone would be hard-pressed to love it unless this music truly is their jam.

1. Call Of The Zombie

2. Superbeast

3. Dragula

4. Living Dead Girl

5. Perversion 99

6. Demonoid Phenomenon

7. Spookshow Baby

8. How To Make A Monster

9. Meet The Creeper

10. The Ballad Of Resurrection Joe And Rosa Whore

11. What Lurks On Channel X?

12. Return Of The Phantom Stranger

13. The Beginning Of The End

ALBUM RATING - 6/10

3. About Time - Horisont

You might see this album cover and think this is a NWOTHM album containing music similar to Iron Maiden and Anthrax but you'd be dead wrong! Despite having a somewhat creepy looking cover, it's actually a modern album by a Swedish group inspired by 70s bands such as Thin Lizzy, UFO, Rory Gallagher and Blue Oyster Cult. The album's relatively easy going despite containing such a striking cover but even though they arguably stumbled at the very first hurdle, the rest of the record is a fantastic listen.

Album opener "The Hive" starts off a bit slow and gentle for a Rock album but when it gets going, my God does it get going. Great riffs, awesome vocals and perfect use of electric piano accompaniment to give us a top quality tune (even if it does rip-off "MacArthur Park" at one point in the solo). From there, the album pumps out great music that resembles an army of Frankenstein's monsters from 70s Rock bands, ready to get your foot stomping and head nodding. We get softer songs with an acoustic flair that break into something faster paced ("Letare"), fun tracks that blend the grand riffing of Queen with the galloping rhythm of Eddie Money ("Boston Gold") and a longer, more progressive title track that brings the album to a quiet close.
Recently, I criticised the Greta Van Fleet debut for sounding like a poor attempt at copying the Led Zeppelin sound. The difference between an album like Anthem Of The Peaceful Army and About Time can be summarised by this quote from Wilson Mizner: "If you steal from one author, it's plagiarism. If you steal from many, it's research". Greta Van Fleet's music was entirely driven by skin-deep comparisons to one band whereas Horisont have taken the best aspects of a whole variety of artists to craft something that sounds distinctly theirs. I definitely recommend this album to fans of Classic Rock, although don't expect anything as heavy as Deep Purple, Led Zeppelin or the like. It still rocks but not enough to bring the house down; just a couple of loose pictures here & there.

1. The Hive

2. Electrical

3. Without Warning

4. Letare

5. Night Line

6. Point Of Return

7. Boston Gold

8. Hungry Love

9. Dark Sides

10. About Time

ALBUM RATING - 8/10

COMING SOON: Posts about the music from Spyro The Dragon...and maybe The Police.

Anthem Of The Peaceful Army - Greta Van Fleet

Hey, you know that band that sound exactly like Led Zeppelin! They wrote an album...no, not Black Smoke Rising...no, not From The Fires either. Those weren't albums. This is their first album.

When I first listened to From The Fires, I did the obvious thing of comparing them to Led Zeppelin due to the vocals and guitarwork of the Brothers Kiszka. I was excited to hear them follow the original band's progression, developing their Classic Rock grooves into mystical Folk epics and thunderous Hard Rock bangers whilst retaining what made them pure. I also claimed that their debut EP didn't sound like "a hacky tribute album" and that they added their own flair to each track. I'm reminding you of this because anyone who's listened to this album will now start to understand just how disappointed I was after listening to Anthem Of The Peaceful Army.
From start to finish, the album felt like Greta Van Fleet were writing more of a Led Zeppelin parody akin to Beatallica than a Classic Rock revival like Robert Pehrsson's Humbucker or a Rock album clearly inspired by Led Zeppelin's distinct sound like Rush's 1974 debut. It's as if the band got together, played disc one of Mothership and said "Right, I think we've got the gist of this" before writing a load of generic Bluesy lyrics and Jimmy Page riffs over the course of a single afternoon. It's not a bad album (definitely not 1.6/10) but it reeks of cynicism from either the band or an overbearing record label trying to cash in on romanticised nostalgia.
Album opener "Age Of Man" should not have kicked the record off. If anything, it should've been the closer with its slower tempo, heavier riff, longer length and dynamic build-up throughout. A Rock band's debut should proudly announce "We're here and we rock!" and whilst the band partially did that with lead single "When The Curtain Falls", a riff driven belter clearly written for radio play and general public consumption, they needed something shorter and punchier for their introduction. Luckily, we got those tracks later on in the form of "The Cold Wind" and "Lover, Leaver" but there's something missing from them.

A great song isn't just an awesome riff or memorable lyrics; it's a perfect blend of multiple contributing factors, hence why bands like Led Zeppelin and Queen are iconic. Sure, they had incredibly gifted vocalists and knew how to lay down epic riffs but the drummers and bassists played an integral part on and off the stage too. Greta Van Fleet have put all their eggs in the superficial basket of sounding like Led Zeppelin after a casual listen but when you actually focus on each aspect of the songs on the album, it feels like they were inspired by specific songs rather than the band's music as a whole.
Take Joshua Kiszka's vocals; yes, he can wail like Robert Plant and this comes in very handy now and then...but that's not all that Robert Plant did. Plant knew when to show restraint, when to actually sing. Kiszka seems limited to just shouting, even when it's completely inappropriate. "The New Day" is a great track musically but it's ruined by the shrill, abrasive vocals. Similarly, Bluesy number "Brave New World" contains some decent riffs and percussion all crafted into a cracking Hard Rock song, only for it to be spoilt by unnecessarily loud shouting in the chorus. Even the verses sound needlessly aggressive for the music, something that only becomes more obvious the more you listen to each track.
It's a shame that one of the best attributes of the band's previous work is easily the weakest here although thankfully the guitarwork is still decent. A little uninspired here and there ("Watching Over") but great when it counts and serviceable throughout. Bass and drums do their job of making the band sound like a Led Zeppelin clone, only without the creativity and spark that Jones and Bonham effortlessly channelled into their music. However, there's only so much I can criticise the band's involvement in making the album before I start to question whether this disappointment truly lies at their feet or the record label's.

Anthem Of The Peaceful Army feels like the product of executive interference more than the band running out of creative steam after only a couple of years (like Royal Blood). There's no way a Rock band gets this level of promotion and attention in the media for a debut album without record labels pulling strings and even then, they'll only do that if they think there's something to gain from it. Right now, nostalgia is in so clueless, corporate executives are obviously going to try and cash in on that before the tide turns. I wouldn't be surprised if Greta's next release sounds wildly different in response to negative reactions to the album sounding like a poor attempt at recreating Led Zeppelin II because record executives only operate on extreme ends of the spectrum.
I rate the album 5/10 for being adequate but ultimately a missed opportunity for a truly great album. When writing reviews, I try to avoid directly comparing new bands/albums with a specific band/album from the past but in this case, I think it's fair to go into similarities and differences between Greta and Led Zeppelin seeing as how their striking musical (and attempts at visual) likeness to the 70s Rock pioneers is their central gimmick and it IS a gimmick. You can compare modern bands like Wolfmother and Muse to older Classic Rock acts but at least they developed their own sound and musical style, forging their own way into the Hall Of Rock
Normally I would give bands four or five albums to establish their sound, release their "best" album and find new ways to innovate their material as they start to head into a new decade. For Greta Van Fleet, I'm actually hoping they mix things up straight away. Whilst I'd still love to hear their take on some of Led Zeppelin's more ambitious music (as the band do have a natural talent for sounding like Led Zepp that would be absolutely wasted if not utilised in one way or another), I think Album 2 needs a couple of tracks that deviate from the generic; maybe some Hard Prog or synth-based Arena Rock making up 20% and the remaining 80% being more of the same, albeit with toned down vocals and better lyrics.
All in all though, the good thing about music is you can still enjoy it with repeat listens so if you really just want good old fashioned Classic Rock with great riffs and amazing vocals, all of the original Led Zeppelin albums are readily available online and they still stand the test of time. Or to put it another way, when you want good Rock, think of Led Zeppelin, not Greta.

Showdown: Homages/Rip Offs 6 - Video Game edition Level 2

Is the title confusing enough for you?
Basically, two years ago I wrote a blog post looking at similarities between 10 Rock/Metal songs and 10 video game tunes whilst offering my opinion on whether the latter piece of music was a knowing wink to the original, a surreptitious copy of an existing track or a pure coincidence. Well, I'm doing another one! I'll also be giving my verdict on which song I believe is better based on personal taste, which came first and which tune sounds more appropriate for its medium.
Listed in each round will be the band and video game franchise, followed by the specific song and level or piece of music from aforementioned video game. I'll try to mention the game and (if I can find the information online) composer for said piece of music. There won't be a Spotify playlist for this as most of the video game tunes won't be available but I will include links to the video game music for you to listen to, if you want to compare as you read.
Time for another brawl!

ROUND ONE: Mega Man vs. Ghost
Dr. Wily's Castle - The theme from the final level of Mega Man 2 (released 1988) was composed by Takashi Tateishi and is considered one of gaming's most iconic themes. It's been remixed countless times by YouTubers and professional video game composers and is a pretty damn awesome piece of a music from a game full of great tunes. The galloping rhythm and melody played throughout is the focus here. Remember how it sounds, although anyone who's heard this tune probably doesn't need to try too hard to recall the melody.
Miasma - This is easily my favourite song off the most recent Ghost album, Prequelle. It's an instrumental featuring heavy riffs, synth melodies and a saxophone solo. However, after the percussion kicks in, we get treated to a guitar solo followed by the synth one. After the synth solo, we get a second guitar solo that contains a galloping riff incredibly similar to the main melody from Dr. Wily's Castle. There are subtle differences but the overwhelming similarities are undeniable. However, it's still an incredible song from what will almost certainly be the best album of the year.
VERDICT - Considering it's one small part of a great song and Ghost don't strike me as a band wanting to cater to old school gamers, I don't think they intentionally copied the theme from Mega Man 2 or intended it as a homage. It's almost certainly coincidence so the question now is which tune do I think is better? It's a hard choice but I'm gonna give the win to Ghost due to the quality of the instrumentation. Full band will always beat 8-bit and that's a fact.

ROUND TWO: Black Sabbath vs. Spider-Man
The Mob Rules - There were two Black Sabbath songs I could've chosen for this blog post but in the end, I went with this one. It's the title track off the band's second album with Ronnie James Dio as the vocalist, notable for its great guitar riff played throughout the song. However, unlike previous entries, we're not just focusing on specific part of the original track here. We're focusing on the riff, the percussion, the pre-chorus melody and the guitar solo.
Boss Theme 3 - This is the third Boss Theme from Spider-Man and Venom: Maximum Carnage for the SNES, released in 1994. Composers Chris Jojo and Tony Williams must've been big fans of 80s Heavy Metal as the comparisons to this tune and the Black Sabbath one stack up more than quite possibly any other example in these video game posts. Quite possibly most shocking of all is that the game doesn't even credit Black Sabbath for pinching their song, although I suppose it's a lot easier to deny plagiarism if you don't own up to it.
VERDICT - Absolutely a rip-off. Not just a rip-off but one done as a shitty MIDI file. The win goes to Black Sabbath for creating the song, making it sound awesome and for not getting due credit...although if it were a fist fight, Spider-Man would definitely win.

ROUND THREE: Surfaris vs. Spongebob Squarepants
Wipe Out - A classic Surf Rock tune with an iconic guitar riff and 12-bar Blues structure. It's also notable for the rolling drumbeat in between the riffs...and the vocal introduction of manic laughter followed by the words "wipe out", although we don't need to worry about that here. If the name of the song or band wasn't a dead giveaway, the sound should immediately make you think of surfing and having fun on the beach. It's a summer hit and the fact that it's mostly instrumental means it's easy to rework for video games.
Goo Lagoon - The beach level from Spongebob Squarepants: Battle For Bikini Bottom, a 3D platformer with music composed by Jimmy Levine. As I mentioned before, it's easy to be inspired by instrumental Surf Rock when writing video game music set on a beach where people surf (and presumably rock) so it's no real surprise that there are elements of "Wipe Out" here. Whilst it's not the most overt homage, the signs are definitely there.
VERDICT - I mean, I've already told you, haven't I? It's clearly a homage as none of the main riffs are directly lifted and the Blues chord progression is so damn common that it would be ridiculous to accuse Jimmy Levine of stealing the idea from "Wipe Out". That being said, I'm giving the win to Surfaris. I'd rather listen to "Wipe Out" than the Goo Lagoon level music, although I don't dislike it. The game actually has a colourful collection of fun tunes to listen to.

ROUND FOUR: Duran Duran vs. Double Dragon
Girls On Film - One of Duran Duran's biggest hits with a catchy chorus and, more importantly, intro riff. The guitar chords and their progression are key here, as that's what we'll be comparing. It's not a favourite of mine, even as far as 80s Pop Rock goes, but I don't hate the song. It's passable but it's no "Hungry Like The Wolf" or "Rio", that's for damn sure.
Intro Theme - The intro to Battletoads & Double Dragon for the SNES contains a similar sounding guitar riff despite being released in 1992, about 11 years after the Duran Duran single. Composer David Wise has acknowledged similarities to other 80s Pop Rock in his compositions (such as using the same equipment as "In The Air Tonight" - Phil Collins during a level from Donkey Kong Country 2, I believe) so this riff might be a little more than coincidence.
VERDICT - I think there may have been a cheeky bit of intentional or unintentional riff pinching going on, as this game seems to have very little to do with "Girls On Film" - Duran Duran so I can't see it being a homage or pure coincidence. Whilst the original song did come up with the riff over a decade before the game, I'm giving the win to Double Dragon as I prefer the heavier sound to it. If it was rerecorded with modern instruments, it'd definitely be the better tune.

ROUND FIVE: Alice In Chains vs. Doom
Them Bones - I've never been a big fan of Alice In Chains and the few songs of theirs that I generally enjoy listening to tend to need some form of modification (e.g. speeding up "Man In The Box" 25%) but I still know and admire aspects of this song. The guitar riff is heavy and evil, slowly ascending before plummeting back down again. It's the main riff and chorus that we're paying attention to for this comparison.
Bye Bye American Pie - Despite having spookier accompanying instruments and a less polished sound than the full band sound of Alice In Chains, the chords are seemingly identical in this piece of music from Doom 2 released just two years after "Them Bones". Composer Robert Prince didn't even credit Alice In Chains for this song either, another reason why I believe this is less of a homage and more of the other one.
VERDICT - This is another song that I reckon was a bit of a rip-off considering how similar it is without even crediting the original songwriters. However, if I had to choose which one I think fits its chosen medium better (90s Grunge vs. spooky song in FPS), I prefer the quality of the video game song. It sounds grittier and doesn't contain annoying vocals so the win goes to Doom.

ROUND SIX: Tina Turner vs. Super Smash Bros
Nutbush City Limits (The 90s Version) - Most people probably know the punchier version of this song from the 70s but in 1991, Tina Turner rerecorded this track with a slower tempo and a heavier emphasis on piano. The opening piano chords followed by the Dance Pop synthetic percussion and musical effects might sound familiar to Nintendo fans, as we'll discuss in a moment, but they also turn this song firmly into a Pop track. I debated including it here due to it not being a Rock song but hey, when you hear what I'm comparing it to, you'll understand why it needed talking about.
Targets! - Yep, the Target Smash song from Super Smash Bros. Melee sounds JUST like the 90s version of "Nutbush City Limits", what with the identical piano chords and synth accompaniments. Granted this tune is a little faster and has more guitar in it but it's pretty damn similar all the same. As the tracks progress, more differences emerge but the opening does all the damage necessary in my eyes.
VERDICT - I doubt composer Hirokazu Ando listened to Tina Turner before whacking out this tune so I'm chalking it up to coincidence rather than homage or rip-off. As for which song is better, I'm giving the win to Super Smash Bros simply because I have fond memories of Target Smash (and the Home Run Contest) thanks to this tune. Since it's a coincidence, I have no need to award Tina Turner the win for coming up with the song first and since it's a Dance Pop song instead of a Rock one, I'm not overly fond of the track itself. An easy decision.

ROUND SEVEN: Glenn Frey vs. P.O.W. - Prisoners Of War
The Heat Is On - The classic 80s Pop Rock tune with the saxophone riff and the awesome chorus, notable for its use in Beverly Hills Cop. However, since then it's earned the right to stand up on its own feet via radio play and use in other media. It might not be the most badass 80s Pop Rock song in existence but it doesn't need to be. It's fast, it's catchy and it's got a consistent rhythm that's perfect for car chases and whatever kind of antics you're bound to get into listening to this song.
Boss Battle 2 - Let's face it; not many readers here will know the game P.O.W. - Prisoners Of War on the NES from 1988 (a popular year in this blog post) but some gamers online have made the connection between the Glenn Frey single and a particular melody from the second boss battle theme in this game. It might not be the main focus of the tune but when it crops up, you know damn well that it was lifted from "The Heat Is On". I'm not sure which composer out of Kazuhiro Nishida, Toshikazu Tanaka and Yoko Osaka decided to borrow this melody but the deed has been done.
VERDICT - Definitely Glenn Frey. Whilst the tune in P.O.W. - Prisoners Of War is cute, it doesn't hold a candle to the 80s classic.

ROUND EIGHT: Pink Floyd vs. Rayman
Shine On You Crazy Diamond - This is a long-ass song that has multiple different musical sections but this Prog Rock epic by overrated Prog Rock outfit Pink Floyd contains a slow, four note guitar riff around the four minute mark. It also contains plenty of moody, atmospheric background noise that you usually hear during ambient sections in video games...but it's mostly the four guitar notes we're interested in.
The Bayou - Along with being one of the best 3D platformers in existence, Rayman 2: The Great Escape also contains a level with a long piece of music featuring moody, atmospheric background noise and four guitar notes played in a similar fashion. Composer Eric Chevalier has supposedly been inspired by other bands in his work before but I wouldn't be surprised if Pink Floyd was on that list too.
VERDICT - I don't think this was a rip-off or a homage, as the two pieces of music stand apart more than they stand together. However, I do think it's likely that Eric Chevalier was unintentionally inspired by Pink Floyd and composed a piece of music containing a similar riff. I'm giving the win to Rayman for creating a) the better assortment of creepy music and b) the shorter song.

ROUND NINE: Crash Bandicoot vs. Rob Zombie
The Eel Deal (Hidden) - In Crash Bandicoot 2: Cortex Strikes Back, there are hidden sections in the sewer levels (The Eel Deal, Sewer Or Later and Hangin' Out) that have a thick, heavy bass riffing and percussion effects that sound a little like a clanging piano, not to mention the Techno sound of musical accompaniments. The comparison I'm going to make with the Industrial sound of this tune composed by Mutato Muzika might be a little bit forced but try to stick with me.
Never Gonna Stop (The Red Red Kroovy) - Rob Zombie is known for heavy Industrial music but the section that plays when Rob starts singing reminded me of the music from Crash Bandicoot, particularly the piano melody. As I said before, it's not quite as clear-cut as previous comparisons I've made and whilst there isn't a specific riff or melody that's been copied, it's more about the general sound of the song in comparison to the music from Crash Bandicoot.
VERDICT - Neither a homage or rip-off, absolutely a coincidence. Rob Zombie might be aware of Crash Bandicoot in some way or another but his song sounds closer to his own style of music than a hidden tune from a 90s video game. I'm gonna give the win to Rob Zombie for this one as I prefer his song to this specific tune from Crash Bandicoot 2: Cortex Strikes Back, although on the whole I definitely prefer the music in Crash to the music on a Rob Zombie album.

ROUND TEN: Friendship vs. Mario
Let's Not Talk About It - This little known track from 1979 contains a piano riff that fans of gaming (or just anyone who's been alive within the last 20 years) will almost certainly recognise straight away. There's nothing else you need to know, just that this contains a series of notes played in a curiously specific way that sounds exactly like...
Underground Theme - ...the Underground Theme from Super Mario Bros! Video game legend Koji Kondo composed the classic melody which has stuck with the Mario series ever since it was first released in 1985. However, even though it contains a different string of notes after the initial six, the tune is identical and it's enough for me to raise an eyebrow at the very least.
VERDICT - There's no way Nintendo intended the Underground Theme to be a homage to a 70s band nobody heard of and whilst most people would consider it a coincidence, I also think there's a small possibility that Koji could've heard "Let's Not Talk About It" in passing and figured it was the perfect match for the game he was working on. That being said, I'm awarding the win to Mario as the Underground Theme has become one of Nintendo's iconic tunes and even if it was pinched from a lesser known Rock song, Nintendo certainly used the track in the better way.


COMING SOON (as in, within a month or so): A series of posts about the music from Spyro The Dragon and the Spyro: Reignited Trilogy, similar to ones I wrote about the Crash Bandicoot: N. Sane Trilogy last year.

Living The Dream - Uriah Heep

That's right, it's a review of the brand new Slash album entitled Living The Dream, released September 21st!

...wait, what?

...

Oh. It's not the Slash album entitled Living The Dream. It's the Uriah Heep album entitled Living The Dream released exactly one week before the Slash album Living The Dream.

Uriah Heep might not be the most popular band releasing an album this month but they certainly know how to write decent music. Their latest album, Living The Dream, contains a variety of Hard Prog songs that tend to sway more towards the Prog side.
The songs are...

I mean...


Fuck it, I can't do this.
Change of plan guys, we're flipping the script!




Living The Dream - Slash featuring Myles Kennedy & The Conspirators

Today, we'll be looking at the new album from guitarist Slash, vocalist Myles Kennedy and the backing band The Conspirators. I was going to review the new album from Uriah Heep, also entitled Living The Dream, but I'm not sure I can make an entertaining review out of an album I was largely indifferent to. If you want to know my in-depth thoughts about that album, don't worry. I'll probably write about it in an upcoming Rapid Fire post.

If there's one thing that Slash has proven by now, it's that he's an incredibly competent guitar player and knows how to write a tasty riff. If there are two things he's proven, it's that he has some fuck-ugly album artwork ideas that nobody warns him about before it's too late. I mean, fucking look at it. It's like something you'd find in the candy section of a supermarket or inside a drug dealer's jacket pocket. The strange thing is, the album is apparently meant to be a sarcastic assessment of life in 2018 at the moment. We're all "living the dream" as far as world politics goes, which would've made for a pretty cool album cover if the artist hadn't snorted a load of Refreshers before coming up with this design.
Fortunately, the material contained within doesn't represent the cover and the music is still very much Slash's unique brand of guitar-driven Hard Rock with a few tweaks here and there. Album opener "The Call Of The Wild" starts off with a Southern twist but the guitarwork and exciting build up throughout sounds right at home on a Slash record, presumably to show off that Slash is still killing it on guitar but also that he's willing to try new styles out without going full Muse and abandoning the thing he's good at in favour of self-serving wank. If you read my review of the last Slash album, you'll see that I claimed Slash was beginning to try new forms of Hard Rock that weren't as guitar driven, something that remains in this album only with a few extra genres thrown into the mix for good measure too.
It's admirable that Slash found a way to innovate without straying too far from what he's good at and what people want when they pick up a Slash record. I said it before and I'll say it again; when you listen to a Slash album, you want Rock music with great guitar. Nothing more, nothing less. The worst things he can do are stray from that formula with dull piano ballads or pump out generic riffs that we've heard a million times before. Whilst he doesn't tickle the ivories just yet (I'm dreading the day that he does), there are a couple of songs sporting riffs that sound a little uninspired.

You can usually tell the songs that crew members felt were generic due to the addition of unique guitar tones to mask the fact that the riff isn't anything special ("My Antidote", "Read Between The Lines") but at least the solos are always great and you can't fault the band for at least trying to spice things up a bit with some guitar effects. In fact, out of the last three Slash albums, this one's probably the most varied as far as musical sound goes due to the addition of several Rock subgenre techniques and what the band toyed with in World On Fire.
Songs like "The One You Loved Is Gone" is more of an emotional power ballad, starting off similar to what I imagine an acoustic set by the band Poison would contain. Slash shows restraint, even during the guitar solo, and allows the band a chance to shine for a brief moment. Then there's slow Bluesy number "The Great Pretender", a song Slash probably wrote after listening to someone's monophonic ringtone of "Still Got The Blues" - Gary Moore going off. Thankfully, these slower songs don't appear that often and they're not the only examples of Slash trying out different genres.
"Driving Rain" was a great choice for the album's lead single, confidently boasting a funky rhythm, heavy guitar riff and powerful chorus that could easily belong on Apocalyptic Love or World On Fire. This is the kind of innovation that Slash should aim for, not the slower material (unless he can pull off some fine guitar work in the process). However, this album isn't all innovation; there's plenty for fans of previous material, specifically songs like "Slow Grind" that opens with some sweet bass before breaking into pure Hard Rock, "Sugar Cane" containing an action packed fast paced riff and footstomping rhythm and "Boulevard Of Broken Hearts", album closer with a touch of "Eye Of The Tiger" in the intro before bringing it home with a chorus perfect for being blasted out at a stadium gig.

Overall, Living The Dream starts to suffer in the middle but successfully turns things around in the third act. Guitar lovers have plenty to dig into and those wanting something more from Slash are given a taste at what he's capable of. Whilst I believe that Slash doesn't necessarily need to record his attempt at a Funk or Southern Rock album just yet, I'd like to hear him tackle some more musical styles blended with his signature style of Hard Rock. I would also recommend maybe cutting down the tracklist, as I feel like Slash and the band were stretched pretty thin coming up with 12 different songs when 10 would've been plenty.
If I had to pick out the weakest aspect of the album, I think I'd have to say Myles Kennedy. I've been a big champion of Myles ever since he proved he could do Axl's job better than he ever could but there were quite a few tracks here that felt like he was phoning it in a little. I'm not saying Myles has gone the way of Ian Gillan, just that he didn't bring anywhere near the same level of passion and fire that he channelled in Apocalyptic Love or World On Fire throughout the entire album. The backing band did their jobs admirably though and I know it's easy to gloss over their effort when you've got Slash and Myles at the top of the billing.
I rate the album 7/10 as it's got a lot of great stuff going for it but weaker vocals and some uninspired riffs take the score down a little, even if mixing genres and keeping stronger aspects of older songs boosts what would've been a mediocre score. I recommend the album to fans of Slash's previous work although I'd probably recommend those albums to fans of Hard Rock and maybe just a handful of songs off Living The Dream to those wanting new tunes to check out. I just hope Slash's next album has tighter Riff-Based-Rock, some more treks into different musical territories and album artwork that doesn't make me ashamed to fucking look at it.

Tenology: Terrible Album Artwork

As requested by @ataeaf on Twitter, the latest Tenology post is taking a look at album artwork from Rock/Metal albums that doesn't quite do the music any favours.
Before I start, it should be noted that this post is largely going to be the work of opinion (as always). Art is subjective and what may be absolutely awful to me might be the greatest image in the world to someone else. However, along with each album cover I'll be compiling, I'll be discussing why I strongly dislike the artwork and possibly even what could've been done to improve it, even offering some comparisons to similar but superior artwork to show that I'm not completely talking out of my arse.


1. ...Very 'Eavy ...Very 'Umble - Uriah Heep

The debut album from 70s Hard Prog outfit, Uriah Heep (expect a review of their new album coming soon!). Compared to some of their later albums with fantastic, magical imagery to compliment their Sword & Sorcery themed music, this album cover just looks off-putting. I don't know about you but when I pick up an album, I like to do it without feeling that I immediately need to scrub my hands clean afterwards. Thankfully I've never touched this album physically but just looking at the cobweb covered face of what may be a corpse within the narrative of the cover doesn't entice me to listen to the material contained within. You can also compare this album cover to the similar close-up of a horrified face on In The Court Of The Crimson King by King Crimson. The art style of that album cover and the lack of any additional gross aspects (like sticky cobwebs) makes it striking and intriguing rather than murky and gross.


2. World On Fire - Slash featuring Myles Kennedy and The Conspirators

I know what you're thinking; why am I featuring this album in a list of terrible album artwork instead of Slash's new album, Living The Dream? Don't worry, I'll get onto the terrible album artwork of that one once I review the album on the blog. For now, let's look at this piece of shit. When the single "World On Fire" dropped, the artwork contained a smiley face with a skull inside it (pictured as a tiny, easily missable pic in the top left corner of the album here) and it looked pretty neat! I was expecting a similar treatment of the rest of the band, smiley faces with skeletal influences for all the band members, similar to Deep Purple albums In Rock and Burn or even the Guns N' Roses debut Appetite For Destruction. Instead, we get a load of random junk that's inexplicably themed around The Simpsons. It's ugly and tacky, although I think the ugliness comes from most of the junk being melted. I'm giving the album the benefit of the doubt and guessing the melted crap is because the World is On Fire...get it? Yeah, still a lame cover.


3. Power Metal - Pantera

This is Pantera's fourth studio album. Their fourth. They recorded and released three studio albums before this and this is what the thought was good enough to sell their fourth record. I know most people immediately leap to Metal Magic as the example of terrible album artwork and don't get me wrong, the artwork DOES suck for that one too. However, by the fourth album, you should be trying a bit harder than a black background and a photo of the band doing their best Blue Steels inside a red explosion frame straight outta Microsoft Word. Thankfully, the band did a complete U-turn on their image and music for their next album, Cowboys From Hell. That doesn't mean they get a free pass for what has to be the most embarrassing start for a Metal band in all the history of a genre. Never forget that before they released mediocre Groove Metal amplified by a talented guitarist, they released three Hair Metal albums and one Heavy Metal (not Power Metal) one. Utter shambles.


4. Blind Faith - Blind Faith

I was hesitant about including the actual album artwork on this blog as this is a picture of a naked 11 year old girl (similar to original album artwork for Virgin Killer - Scorpions, featuring a naked 12 year old girl) in front of what appears to be the Windows XP background about 30 years before the picture was even taken. I'm not entirely sure why these Rock bands want naked pubescent girls as the face of their records, as I wouldn't normally associate Blind Faith or Scorpions with wanting an audience of pedos, but the fact that there is no alternate artwork for this album does it no favours. The artwork should've been...I mean, literally anything else. Literally any other picture that has nothing to do with naked schoolgirls, it's fucking obvious. Anyway, since I had to search for this album cover and ended up finding multiple versions that were all unusable, I'm probably on some kind of register now. Bye guys, it was nice writing for you all!


5. Pinewood Smile - The Darkness

Man, I loved this album but fucking hated the artwork. Where do we start? First off, we've got a smile that looks seedy and kinda gross with the facial hair up-close. Then we've got the weird photoshopping of the band onto the smile in ways that don't quite belong. Finally, there's the complete shift in style from previous artwork such as Last Of Our Kind which featured a great drawing of a fighter pilot similar to Ed Repka's drawings of Vic Rattlehead. I will always prefer a beautifully drawn image over a weird, unsettling and poorly shopped image that may or may not have relevance to the album title. Seriously, if the smile was drawn in an exaggerated, caricatured fashion, this artwork would be a lot better. You know I'm right.


6. Lita - Lita Ford

Whilst it's not quite as disgusting or off-putting as previous album covers listed, I've always had a problem with the album artwork for Lita simply because it's the least sexy cover that's trying to be sexy I can honestly think of. Before you start accusing me of all sorts, I have no problem with Lita Ford's general appearance (she looks pretty damn hot in other album artwork, especially the art for the "Kiss Me Deadly" single). However, the photographer and producer who ended up signing off on this picture being the choice for the album needed a stern talking to. The attractive Lita Ford looks miserable and awkward in this pose, completely the opposite of what they should've been going for. I'm not sure if this is Lita attempting to riff on objectifying and borderline misogynistic uses of women on album covers from the past but it doesn't quite go far enough to drive the point home for me. Instead, it looks like a desperate cougar mom's photoshoot currently mid-midlife crisis.


7. Volcanic Rock - Buffalo

Yup, that's a rock penis being held up by the muscled person with the pubes. That's not all, the volcano pictured represents a menstruating woman as shown by the rear side of the album. It's been heavily criticised in the past for being misogynistic (a word that frequently comes up when discussing terrible Rock album artwork) but much like the band themselves, those complaints faded away and died a death of obscurity...until I went ahead and reminded people that this band and album still exist! Offensive depictions of sexuality aside, the album artwork isn't all that bad. The colour scheme is great and the title Volcanic Rock is a good name for the record; it's just a shame they had to ruing everything by representing the album's title with a stone cock and pussuvius.


8. Lick It Up - KISS

This is just one of the laziest, dullest ideas for an album cover from a band as flamboyant and excessive as KISS. All four band members posing in front of the camera with only one visible tongue on an album called Lick It Up. This is a somewhat iconic album in the KISS collection due to it being the first time they've gone without their signature makeup since taking off. Here's the kicker though; about three years before this album came out, KISS released an album called Unmasked. If EVER there was a time to show the band without makeup, it would've been for that album cover. For Lick It Up, there should've been some stylised drawing featuring tongues and, maybe, a bit of "sexiness" or something other than this last minute attempt at album art. Hell, they could've pulled a Motley Crue and parodied The Rolling Stones with a KISS coloured giant tongue in a grinning mouth. That would've been pretty neat, albeit legally questionable.


9. Mosquito - Yeah Yeah Yeahs

I only found out about this album cover fairly recently and I hate it. However, I can acknowledge that there are some positives about it. For starters, the CGI imagery is pretty crisp and the perspective makes for an interesting angle. However, none of that is enough to redeem the fact that Yeah Yeah Yeahs signed off on an album cover featuring a gigantic mosquito sucking the blood out of a crying child's rectum mid-feed of what looks like radioactive baby food. There's a difference between unsettling album artwork like Americana - The Offspring and this, as one is bizarre yet eye-catching whilst the other's just...well, this. Also, are they ever-so-slightly piggybacking on the iconic album artwork of Nevermind - Nirvana? Maybe I'm reading too much into it, although the whole anus-sucking thing still applies. This is the kind of artwork I'd expect to see on a Shock Rock nobody's record, not some Indie twinks' fourth LP.


10. I Get Wet - Andrew W.K.

Just have a good look at this prick. With his greasy wet hair and his ruby red lips, how can anyone not want to smack him one? Maybe that's why his nose is bleeding all down his face and fucking neck, someone had enough of this guy constantly banging on about partying and lamped him. Seriously, if you've ever looked at Andrew W.K.'s Twitter account, it's all shit about partying. All the fucking time, it's some bollocks about "party rules" or "never stop partying" and all sorts of crap like he's still desperately clinging to the one song that people know him for. Remember his appearance at E3 when he played that song for the shooter? Can you remember either the name of his song OR the shooter? Guess what, it had thudding percussion and piano in it, almost exactly like his other song. Where was I? Oh yeah, this album cover sucks. Even if my theory about it being a reference to Andrew's punchability is true, it's still off putting to look at and the fact that he looks like  90s Dave Grohl doesn't sit well with me. This should've been an inside sleeve and the outside should've had him looking perfectly fine.


I may do another one of these blog posts in the future if I can find enough examples of terrible album artwork to fill second list WITHOUT resorting to using one from Cannibal Corpse. I'll feature indecent pictures of young girls over one of their fucking covers, Jesus.

Rock Band (1)

It's about time I covered the setlist from the game that took the next step in the rhythm game evolution started by Harmonix with Guitar Hero (and also continued by Harmonix with their new franchise). Much like previous setlist blog posts, I'll be going through each song and awarding a Thumbs Up or Thumbs Down based on whether I thought the song had a fun guitar chart, whether the song belonged in the game (due to sound and popularity) and finally, whether I actually like the song myself. NOTE: I'll only be discussing songs from the main setlist in this post, not the EU/Wii exclusive tracks or bonus on-disc songs.
Sooner or later I'm going to run out of these big-name rhythm games and will have to talk about setlists from third party titles or cruddy little Indie games with music in them...until then, let's look at this 2007 setlist!

"Are You Gonna Be My Girl" - Jet
First song in and we're off to a decent start! Sure, this track may be completely inspired by "Lust For Life" - Iggy Pop but the guitar has a fun rhythm and the charting of the chords is pretty fun too. The "solo" at the end is kinda weak but at the end of the day, you've got a popular, catchy song with fun guitar, great vocals, presumably some decent drumming and a great bass intro. It's a perfect all-rounder, which is a slam-dunk for this band based game. THUMBS UP.

"Ballroom Blitz" - Sweet
Our first WaveGroup Sound (?) cover in this game and it's not bad. It's nowhere near as good as the original but the chart is more fun as a result (and I say this having played what sounds like a fairly accurate chart on Clone Hero so I know exactly what I'm talking about). It's Sweet's most popular song and it doesn't sound too focused on one particular instrument, another great choice for the game. Whilst there are plenty of Sweet songs I would love to play on guitar for their awesome potential, I'm glad Harmonix did this classic justice. THUMBS UP.

"Black Hole Sun" - Soundgarden
I hate this song. Dreary, dull, boring, all the appropriate synonyms to describe Chris Cornell moaning along to terrible guitar riffs and slow percussion. Whilst it might be one of Soundgarden's signature songs, it's a shitty choice for Rock Band if you want a fun party song or a fun challenging track. Solo aside, the guitar is simple and even if the solo has some fun shreddy bits, it sounds like complete crap. Just an all-round terrible song that should've been "Spoonman", "Rusty Cage" or one of Soundgarden's other songs that isn't terrible. THUMBS DOWN.

"Blitzkrieg Bop" - Ramones
A pretty straightforward track and an iconic Punk hit. Even if it's mostly chords and strumming on guitar, the vocals are probably quite fun in party scenarios and the need for "easy" songs is necessary in any rhythm game to establish a difficulty curve. THUMBS UP for being a short little track for beginners that actually belongs in a game called Rock Band, unlike some of the easier songs we'll be looking at later on.

"Celebrity Skin" - Hole
Eww, Courtney Love. I understand the need for songs with female vocalists to appeal to a wider variety of gamers but come on, Hole? Couldn't find any better bands to license like Heart, Paramore, Blondie, Halestorm, Jefferson Airplane, L7, Fleetwood Mac or Pretenders? The fact that the guitar chart is pretty repetitive doesn't help either so this song earns a THUMBS DOWN.

"Cherub Rock" - Smashing Pumpkins
One of the many songs in-game that's shared with Guitar Hero 3: Legends Of Rock, released in the same year as Rock Band. As far as charts go, this song's pretty damn fun on guitar! Great riffs, a solid little solo and a good amount of variety. I would even argue that this song is more fun in Rock Band because the Big Rock Ending kicks in before the annoying rapid strumming section so you don't have to worry about that when going for the FC. As for whether it's the right Smashing Pumpkins song to choose, of course it fucking is! It's the best Smashing Pumpkins song ever picked for a GH/RB game and it deserves a THUMBS UP.

"Creep" - Radiohead
On the one hand, this is one of Radiohead's biggest songs and it's probably got some appeal to vocalists. On the other, so is "Paranoid Android" and at least that has a great guitar solo and some beefy riffs to play. This song, though, has a weak guitar chart that's either dull strumming or ridiculous rapid strumming with no middle ground. Not a very fun one to play unless you love rapid strumming but I can't say it feels out of place in the game. This one comes down to a tiebreaker, which is do I generally like the song? The answer? THUMBS DOWN.

"Dani California" - Red Hot Chili Peppers
Yes, perfect choice for Rock Band. Initially, this wasn't a song that I imagined would be very fun on guitar but after playing it, my mind was instantly changed. Awesome riffs, fun outro solo and arguably one of the greatest Rock songs of the current century, definitely one of the band's stronger entries. Plus, I bet it's perfect for the band too, what with Antony, Chad and Flea rocking away too. THUMBS UP.

"Dead On Arrival" - Fall Out Boy
Since I'm not a teenage girl who thinks life is soooooooooooooooo unfair, I'm not a fan of Fall Out Boy. That being said, this is actually a pretty decent song for Rock Band! I've played a few Fall Out Boy charts on GH/RB and this is by far the best. Fun riffs, a surprisingly decent solo and a fair amount of variety. I can appreciate the need to put more than just my favourite genres into a game designed to appeal to as many people as possible but I'm really glad Harmonix didn't just choose an obvious and dull Fall Out Boy song for the game. THUMBS UP.

"Detroit Rock City" - KISS
Simple guitar chart? Yes. Great song? Hell yes. There are a lot of KISS tracks out there that could've been picked (and were picked for GH/GH DLC) but I'm glad they went for one that was a bit heavier and had some relatively simple but fun guitar. However, it's clear that the main appeal here are the other instruments. Bass, drums and vocals shine in this track, making for a fun party song and a worthy addition to Rock Band. THUMBS UP.

"(Don't Fear) The Reaper" - Blue Oyster Cult
A Classic Rock staple with an iconic riff makes this perfect for Rock Band, although the guitar isn't exactly the most fun you could have with Blue Oyster Cult. With the addition of extended sustains, this song probably would've been more fun on Guitar Hero but the track itself feels like more of a Rock Band choice. Sure, there are other great Blue Oyster Cult songs to pick (such as the one from GH3) and maybe "Burnin' For You" would've been just as good in this game but I'm still giving it a THUMBS UP for being a great song with a decent, if not slightly underwhelming, chart.

"Electric Version" - The New Pornographers
Indie Rock chordfest with a cute melody and some repetitive guitar. I remember having a lot more fun with this song when I first played it compared to when I revisited it on Rock Band 4. Once again, this song choice was likely due to the other instruments over guitar, although it's hardly a well known track or band that screams "I should be playable in Rock Band!". There are other Indie bands/songs out there that would've been more fun, therefore THUMBS DOWN.

"Enter Sandman" - Metallica
One of the few Metallica songs in Rock Band due to Activision's exclusivity deal (hence why it's not exportable to other Rock Band games). Since it's arguably Metallica's most well known song to casual audiences whilst still containing plenty of fun guitar sections, it makes sense to include this track in the first Rock Band game instead of something more demanding like "Battery" or "Master Of Puppets". That being said, they did chart a harder solo than the Guitar Hero: Metallica version so if you're after more of a challenge, you've always got this chart. THUMBS UP.

"Epic" - Faith No More
Can't stand this song, not gonna lie. It was enough to turn me off Faith No More for years when I first played it and even though it's one of their biggest songs with a fairly fun guitar chart, I couldn't stand played it at all. The horrible faux-Beastie Boys vocals, the piano outro you have to sit through, it just wasn't enjoyable for me. However, I accept that that's down to personal taste and an objective eye can tell that there's nothing inherently wrong with this song choice or chart. Perhaps it would've been better saved for Rock Band 3 but whatever, as much as I want to shit on it, I can't really. THUMBS UP.

"Flirtin' With Disaster" - Molly Hatchet
It's a crying shame we never got more Molly Hatchet in GH/RB. This chart is hugely entertaining from start to finish with fun riffs, a great solo and plenty of variety. It feels like Harmonix went out of their way to chart this in a way that was deliberately more fun on guitar too (due to the overuse of HOPOs) and even if this wasn't Molly Hatchet's biggest song, it would still earn a THUMBS UP for being a hoot & a half. By the way, if anyone from Harmonix or any Clone Hero charters are reading this, I recommend the Molly Hatchet songs "Bounty Hunter", "Boogie No More", "The Rambler" and the studio original of "Fall Of The Peacemakers" if you want more fun guitar.

"Foreplay/Long Time" - Boston
Anything off the Boston debut album is a solid choice but "Foreplay/Long Time"? Oh man, you went right for the best choice. Most people would probably argue that "More Than A Feeling" and "Peace Of Mind" are the better known tracks to go for but come on, people know those songs. Give them a Boston track that's fun AND underrated! This seven-minute Classic Rock piece of perfection starts off a little dull with chords and strumming but the blend of great riffs and fun solos throughout make this not just an ace song to play single player but also a fantastic party jam. The only downside to this being in Rock Band instead of Guitar Hero is that the outro solo we get to hear for the first time is wasted on a Big Rock Ending whereas the full solo would've been charted on GH. Still though, I cannot fault this song's inclusion. THUMBS UP.

"Gimme Shelter" - The Rolling Stones
Ladies and gentlemen, the ONLY Rolling Stones song in a Rock Band game and it's not the worst choice in the world. It's a classic tune from the band's best decade (60s) and the guitar isn't all bad, even if it is a little dull for the most part. Whilst there are plenty of well known songs by The Rolling Stones that could've been more fun such as "It's All Over Now", "Jumpin' Jack Flash", "The Last Time"...OK, maybe that last one would be a bit repetitive too, but my point is that "Gimme Shelter" belongs in RB along with the majority of 60s Rolling Stones songs. In fact, I would even argue that The Rolling Stones belong in Rock Band more than Guitar Hero, although that was never going to happen with Bobby Kotick running the show at Activision. THUMBS UP.

"Go With The Flow" - Queens Of The Stone Age
Oh hey, a QOTSA song with a load of chord strumming and sustains. Another track that clearly wasn't meant for guitarists although it doesn't mean that the guitar has to be this fucking boring.  At this point in time, there were barely any QOTSA songs in GH/RB. "No One Knows" and "3s & 7s" were the only ones, leaving "Sick, Sick, Sick", "Little Sister", "In My Head" and "Burn The Witch", along with a bunch of deep cuts/filler tracks that could probably be justified due to the popularity of the band at the time. THUMBS DOWN.

"Green Grass And High Tides" - The Outlaws
Another cover and my God, this one is fantastic. Apparently, Steve Ouimette did the guitar in this song and if that's the case, he absolutely nailed it. I've talked about this cover before, stating that it's impressive that the band perfectly recreated the lengthy solos practically note-for-note, but now it's time to focus on the quality of the chart too. From start to finish, this nine-minute Southern Rock epic keeps you entertained with great HOPO riffs, varied solos and some neat little strumming patterns. Once again, you can tell that it's been charted to be more fun on guitar but that doesn't mean it's not a perfect final boss for the game. Even though it's not a hugely iconic Southern Rock track like "Free Bird", it certainly belongs in the game and I can't imagine Rock Band without it. THUMBS UP.

"Here It Goes Again" - OK Go
One of the first songs in the game and hey, I don't mind it. It picked up steam online due to the fun treadmill music video and even though the chart's nothing special, it makes for a fun party song to play which is the best you can hope for when dealing with songs in the earlier phase of the difficulty curve. Plus, the song arguably works on multiple levels when you imagine it as a comment from Harmonix about them starting a brand new music game franchise after creating Guitar Hero. THUMBS UP.

"Highway Star" - Deep Purple
Whilst I absolutely adore this song and enjoy playing it in Rock Band, part of me wishes that this song was in Guitar Hero instead of Rock Band. You know they would've charted the organ solo on guitar with tap notes whilst Harmonix just let you strum along to the rhythm. Yeah, the guitar's not the greatest in this song. Repetitive chords and strumming until the solo which is largely just sustains until the rapid strumming bit. Hey, at least every other instrument (especially bass) is insanely fun, which makes it a valid inclusion in Rock Band. Factor in that this is one of Deep Purple's more famous songs that ISN'T "Smoke On The Water" and it earns a comfortable THUMBS UP.

"I Think I'm Paranoid" - Garbage
Returning back to the earlier stages of the difficulty curve and you end up with this Garbage track...as in a track by the band Garbage. The song's pretty good, actually. Mostly sustains and chords but as mentioned, it's not meant to be a challenging one on guitar. It still has some fun aspects to it and it's probably the best Garbage song I've played in GH/RB so THUMBS UP, especially when compared to the Hole song from earlier.

"In Bloom" - Nirvana
Boring. Boring boring boring boring, even though it's early on in the game that doesn't excuse it from being booooooooooooring. "Heart Shaped Box", "Come As You Are", "Lithium", "Breed", all far superior Nirvana tracks to play for the whole band INCLUDING the guitarist. THUMBS DOWN.

"Learn To Fly" - Foo Fighters
I've talked about how Scrubs ruined this song for me but before I watched that episode, I played the song on Rock Band and loved it. It's a basic chart with some variety throughout but I would argue this song is the perfect choice for Rock Band. Not too taxing on your fingers, a gentle song to listen to with a punchy chorus for vocalists to belt out, definitely a party song with a slightly inflated difficulty tier to accommodate the need of single players. A calculated choice that paid off handsomely. THUMBS UP.

"Main Offender" - The Hives
Regardless of your opinion about The Hives, this is a Rock song. Great riff, some guitar solos (even if they are just rapid strumming) and a raw sound to the entire track. However, is this the best song to pick for the game? Meh, not sure. It's alright but "Hate To Say I Told You So" is arguably a better known track and probably equally challenging on each instrument. The Hives are the kind of band that only need a handful of songs in rhythm music games but I wouldn't say this is a song that needed to be in Rock Band compared to some of their others. THUMBS DOWN.

"Maps" - Yeah Yeah Yeahs
Regardless of your opinion about Yeah Yeah Yeahs, this is not a Rock song. It's breathy Indie Wood for hipsters and bellends that's boring to listen to, let alone play. Definitely not a party song, definitely not fun on guitar and the fact that it's one of the first songs you have to play to unlock all the better tracks (as pointed out by comedian Dara O'Briain in a hilarious gag) only adds to the song's shite factor. If you like this song, more power to you but come on, this should've been DLC at the absolute best, not one of the first on-disc tracks you experience. THUMBS DOWN.

"Mississippi Queen" - Mountain
It might be somewhat of a Classic Rock staple but let's be honest, it isn't a fun one to play on guitar. "DUH-NAH-NAH-NAH-NAH". "DUH-NAH-NAH-NAH-NAH". "DUH-NAH-NAH-NAH-NAH". Over and over again before the fairly horrible sounding guitar solo. I mean, they did the best they could with this WaveGroup cover but it still earns a THUMBS DOWN for being a bland chart and song, even for one played in the earlier stages of the game's difficulty curve.

"Next To You" - The Police
Whilst I can admire Harmonix wanting to pick a lesser known song by The Police with a more challenging (though not really) guitar chart, there's not a whole lot to this song. I probably would've preferred swapping something like "Mississippi Queen" for a Classic Rock song with harder guitar and this track to an easier one by The Police like "Can't Stand Losing You" or "Roxanne" to make the overall game better. However, I still like the song and enjoy playing it...but I'm still giving it a THUMBS DOWN for being an odd choice with an inflated guitar chart to round out an otherwise flawless difficulty curve.

"Orange Crush" - R.E.M.
I get it, R.E.M. are indeed a Rock band and pioneers of Alternative Rock which hasn't been represented too well so far. It's not the most boring chart but equally, a song like "Losing My Religion" or "Stand" would've served a similar purpose whilst being as challenging as this track, only slightly more fun on guitar. However, I'm not gonna give it a Thumbs Down for being a little bit worse than other songs when it's still decent. In fact, I'm not giving it one at all. It belongs in the game and I like it. THUMBS UP.

"Paranoid" - Black Sabbath
Another WaveGroup cover that sounds a little bit worse than the one in GH3. It also contains a slightly worse chart too AND isn't exportable to future Rock Band games so it's easy to forget about this song's inclusion in the game. Not the worst Black Sabbath song to choose from the game; it's just unfortunate that the song was used far better in a competing game. Besides, if you're gonna choose a Black Sabbath song for the whole band to play, you're not really trying when your first choice is "Paranoid". THUMBS DOWN.

"Reptilia" - The Strokes
Another GH3 repeat, although this is the master recording and you know that vocalists are gonna have fun with this one. Chart wise, this has a bit more variety than the GH3 one but it's also less of a challenge to FC in my opinion. All in all, I think I prefer this chart and I can't argue with the song choice either. Modern Indie but with some passion behind it, more of that over "Maps"! THUMBS UP.

"Run To The Hills" - Iron Maiden
The last song that didn't export to future Rock Band games (although the master recording was later released as DLC). As far as covers go, it's not horrible although you were never gonna recreate Iron Maiden perfectly. A+ for ambition in getting an iconic Iron Maiden song, although execution is more like a B. Chart's got some annoying moments too but hey, it's one of the last songs in-game; it's allowed to be challenging. The Iron Maiden fan in me wants to give a Thumbs Down for not choosing a better song but since it's one of the band's most popular and the chart offers a decent amount of challenging variety, it's getting a THUMBS UP.

"Sabotage" - Beastie Boys
More GH3 repeats and this one makes a whole lot of sense. Vocalists who want a bit of mild rapping get to sink their teeth into this whilst guitarists and bassists get some sweet licks to play fairly early on in the game. Probably one of the best Beastie Boys songs to pick, definitely compared to all the other ones we got in GH/RB. THUMBS UP.

"Say It Ain't So" - Weezer
OK, you picked a song from the right Weezer album but really? This song? One that's slow and dull instead of one of their lively, fun songs? This song doesn't work for single player or party gameplay and if I'm honest, I'm struggling to remember anything about playing it apart from the chorus. Whilst Rock Band would go on to pick most of Weezer's best songs for DLC (apart from "Only In Dreams" and "Surf Wax America", those have yet to make the cut), this one should've been swapped out with one of those. THUMBS DOWN.

"Should I Stay Or Should I Go" - The Clash
The very first song in the game. It's a fair choice, one of the less aggressive tracks by iconic Punk band The Clash with an iconic intro riff and some fun (if not slightly flawed) lyrics to sing along to, not to mention the changing tempo for drummers and a bit of fun bass thrown in too. A great all-rounder to kick off the game and get the crowds gathering at parties. THUMBS UP.

"Suffragette City" - David Bowie
Fair play Harmonix, you found an upbeat David Bowie song with fun guitar! The solo might be a little weak and the riffs may get a little repetitive but damn, this song is enjoyable. I'll take "Suffragette City" over "Changes", "Rebel Rebel", "Fame", "Space Oddity", "Starman", "Sound And Vision" and countless others any day. Plus, if I remember correctly, this song featured heavily in marketing for Rock Band in the UK so clearly I'm not the only one to think this song's a great choice for the game. THUMBS UP.

"The Hand That Feeds" - Nine Inch Nails
I've never really cared for Nine Inch Nails and this song does absolutely nothing for me. It sounds like generic clubbing muzak and the guitar chart doesn't really have anything beyond strumming and strumming and strumming. If you were going to pick some Industrial music (and let's face it, you never have to pick Industrial music for anything), some Rob Zombie may have been more interesting to listen to. THUMBS DOWN for this boring song.

"Tom Sawyer" - Rush
When I first played this song, Harmonix had already released the original version as DLC and I had already listened to/played it in Rock Band. Imagine my surprise when I heard this bizarre sounding cover with a more challenging guitar chart but hey, at least they tried. This song is perfect for Rock Band from the great guitar riffs to the awesome basslines and drum solos, not to mention the awesome vocals. Rush would go on to become a Rock Band favourite and it all started with this little cover. THUMBS UP.

"Train Kept-A-Rollin'" - Aerosmith
I believe I've discussed this cover in the past and claimed that I actually thought it was superior to the original due to the great guitar and exceptional vocals. It also helps that when you play this song, the crowd and cheering anyway so any additional crowd cheer effects feel natural unlike when you listen to the Aerosmith original. Guitar chart contains a bunch of trills that provide a suitable challenge for the game's final stage and the increase in tempo provides a fun challenge for drummers too, not to mention the great vocals throughout. Perfect song choice and an outstanding cover to boot. THUMBS UP.

"Vasoline" - Stone Temple Pilots
Goddamn, nice work picking a fun STP song! All other STP songs chosen for GH/RB games and DLC would end up mostly being pretty dull in comparison to this and the one from Guitar Hero 2. A short track with a great riff and fun little solo, definitely a game highlight if you like charts that are fun without becoming too much of a pain to nail. I don't know enough about Stone Temple Pilots to comment on whether this was the best choice for the game but since, as I said earlier, we've yet to have a classic STP single that is more fun than this, I'm inclined to say this was a perfect choice. THUMBS UP.

"Wanted Dead Or Alive" - Bon Jovi
Fucking THUMBS UP straight away. Incredible guitar, signature Bon Jovi song without being an obvious pick, amazing vocals, perfect party and single player track to play. The best song in Rock Band 1 without a shadow of a doubt.

"Wave Of Mutilation" - Pixies
Song starts off alright but unfortunately, everything goes to shit when it gets to the terrible chorus. If you like chords and strumming paired with droning vocals then this song's perfect for you. But wait, there's more! There's a non-solo towards the end of the song and the knowledge that better Pixies tracks like "Where Is My Mind???" and...uhhh...still THUMBS DOWN.

"Welcome Home" - Coheed And Cambria
Another one of my favourite songs from the game, the guitar chart contains plenty of variety whether you like HOPO sections, powerful chord-based melodies or sustains during the chorus so you can sing along at home. Whilst this song contains awesome charts for single player modes, it also works as one that's great for parties. Did I mention the killer guitar solo near the end? Yeah, that's in there too. Definitely worthy of a THUMBS UP.

"When You Were Young" - The Killers
The Killers always earn a THUMBS DOWN. They fucking suck.

"Won't Get Fooled Again" - The Who
I'll admit, I probably wouldn't have picked this song for the on-disc choice due to the length and massive pauses with nothing happening on guitar, bass, drums or vocals throughout. This probably should've been the Rock Band 3 song but that doesn't mean this song isn't fun to play. Plenty of variety throughout and some fun guitar solos too. Plus, there's definitely fun sections for bassists, drummers and vocalists (YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH) so it's getting a well earned THUMBS UP.


Harmonix had a difficult job of assembling a setlist of great yet popular songs that were fun on all instruments but the majority needed to contain decent guitar to appease fans of the Guitar Hero franchise if it wanted any hope of competing with GH3...and they fucking pulled it off! 30 Thumbs Up against 15 Thumbs Down, a 67% success rating (although I haven't factored the largely terrible bonus songs into the list so that might change). Most people generally consider Rock Band 2 to have the greatest setlist in the franchise but after going through each track, I think Rock Band 1 needs a lot more recognition.
Anyway, which music rhythm game should I cover next? Probably gonna be a Guitar Hero one as I like to alternate and it won't be until November so we've got plenty of time to decide!

Here Is The News: September 2018 Edition

He-hey, it's September (well, nearly October) so here is the news!

K.K. DOWNING "STILL UPSET" OVER STARBUCKS ARGUMENT

Former Judas Priest guitarist K.K. Downing has stated in a recent interview that he still harbours some resentment to the way the band treated him after a friendly get-together at popular coffee chain, Starbucks. According to sources and comments from members of the band themselves, Judas Priest were celebrating a successful tour at Starbucks years ago when the table was accidentally knocked over by one or more of the band members, spilling K.K. Downing's milk-based beverage all over the floor.

After the accident, K.K. Downing (pictured left) was certain that it was drummer Scott Travis who nudged the table and caused the spillage. However, according to multiple band members, it was K.K. himself who nudged the table upon standing up with Scott. Either way, the spilling of the milk is still a sore subject for the guitarist and he claims that he has yet to receive any kind of apology for his ruined drink that cost him in the region of two to three dollars.

When asked for comment, K.K. stated "I'm not angry or annoyed about it, I'm actually completely over it. I just think that it says a lot about the characters of Rob, Glenn, Scott and the other one that they accuse me of doing something like this when it was clearly untrue. I'm not mad at all, I'm just still upset that everyone else keeps making a big deal out of it". K.K. then continued to talk about his upcoming musical projects, only bringing the conversation back to the spilled milk drink a couple more times before the end of the interview.

This is one of many accidents and incidents that K.K. Downing has spoken about when reflecting on traumatic times with the band. A previous incident arose when footage of K.K. Downing viciously attacking an already deceased horse surfaced on the Internet. When asked for comment on the video, K.K. claimed that he was only beating a dead horse to such a degree to prove that he wasn't angry about his exit from one of the UK's biggest Metal bands to pursue a career as a solo guitarist.

K.K. Downing is currently preparing to embark on a solo tour of Europe, starting in the UK and ending in Germany. The tour is expected to contain a mix of Judas Priest tracks he heavily contributed towards and recent material K.K. has written for his new solo album. The album (and promotional tour) was inspired by classic Judas Priest track "Riding On The Wind" and fans will be delighted to know that tickets for the upcoming "Pissing In The Wind Tour" are still very much available.

BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN FINISHES 148 HOUR CONCERT

After a gruelling six days, Bruce Springsteen has finally finished one of his live shows. The concert in London, United Kingdom was originally supposed to last a mere seven hours, due to Bruce dealing with back ache that day, but after getting his second wind he continued to play for another 141 hours to a mostly enthusiastic crowd of Bruce Springsteen fans, their sleep-deprived children and a rotation of available paramedics.

The show started off like any other; lights dimmed, band members shuffling on stage until Bruce (pictured left) joined the action to an eruption of cheers. It's believed that the first song played was "Born In The U.S.A." but since the band ended up repeating multiple tracks throughout their set (including 18 renditions of "Glory Days", 25 performances of "Hungry Heart", 11 documented moments where he played "Because The Night" and seven acoustic covers of "The House Of The Rising Sun"), nobody can remember for sure exactly what the first song was.

Once the gig had finished, the remaining fans still able to walk or remain conscious after almost an entire week of listening to a Bruce Springsteen concert returned home via the nearest hospital. One of the concert goers stated "It's definitely one of the best shows I've ever been too. Bruce really makes sure you get your money's worth, even though I've missed five days of work and had to buy new jeans to replace the ones I soiled to hear him finish a six-hour version of "Thunder Road". I can't wait to see him again next year!" just before falling back into his coma.

Fans rushed to nearby hospitals due to dehydration, partial loss of hearing and mild cases of rickets due to lack of sunlight were offered a discount on a DVD recording of the concert, expected to be released around the holiday season of 2019 once it's been edited down to a tight 28 hours across 10 discs. Footage from the concert has yet to surface online due to the death of almost all smartphone batteries at the gig but according to people at the venue, the general consensus is that show was "pretty good until the smell became unbearable".

When asked what could've possibly possessed him to play a single show roughly twice as long as the average music festival, Bruce Springsteen commented "Sometimes when you're on stage, you just feel unstoppable. You get up there and the crowd cheers and it's the best feeling in the world. I didn't want it to end...so it didn't! I just kept giving it my all and although I've been told that I stopped singing actual human words around the 103rd hour, I'm just glad I made it through all the way to the end without fainting like my band mates". Bruce Springsteen's tour has been postponed until the band's fluid levels are back to non-lethal amounts again, although Bruce still intends to complete shows at all remaining venues in the tour. His fans allegedly cannot wait.

LOCAL BLOG REACHES 200 POSTS

A blog about Rock/Metal (and occasionally Pop/Video Game) music has recently uploaded its 200th post since starting in 2013. The blog, entitled 'Riffs And Raffs', celebrated its 200th post with a self-referential article that may or may not come across as futile, masturbatory self-promotion depending on how much viewers keep reading after the initial restrained chuckle emitted from finishing the opening paragraph subsides.

The blog (pictured literally in front of you right now) was started after creator, IaSg14, decided one day to focus his passion for writing, creative opinions about Rock/Metal and natural aptitude for memorising music trivia into an outlet that he would have control over with the possibility of being available to literally a bunch of people online. However, instead of choosing Wordpress or Tumblr, he continued to use Blogger as if it was still 2005.

The blog contains a variety of post formats, ranging from straightforward album reviews for the newest releases that IaSg14 wants to listen to that more often than not the average reader doesn't care about right down to in-depth discussions about all the Guitar Hero and Rock Band setlists that people have already made their minds up about after playing/hearing them. It also features regularly edited posts about Rock music terminology and a personalised "Scale Of Greatness" linked at the top of the blog, both of which are in dire need of updating.

IaSg14 had this to say about writing his 200th blog post: "A blog about Rock/Metal (and occasionally Pop/Video Game) music has recently uploaded its 200th post since starting in 2013. The blog, entitled 'Riffs And Raffs', celebrated its 200th post with a self-referential article that may or may not come across as futile, masturbatory self-promotion depending on how much viewers keep reading after the initial restrained chuckle emitted from finishing the opening paragraph subsides". He went on to provide more information about the blog's inception, his chosen venue for posting writings about music and some of the post formats on 'Riffs And Raffs' before offering a relatively pointless quote about the blog simply reaching 200 posts and how it celebrated such an achievement, followed by a paraphrased and headache inducing repetition of information and a glimpse into the future of the blog itself.

The future of the blog is uncertain, as personal issues and a newfound love of streaming video games online via Twitch have taken up portions of IaSg14's time that was previously dedicated to planning and writing blog posts (hence the delivery of all the month's posts typically in the last week or so). However, according to sources close to IaSg14, he has no intention of stopping writing or lazily phoning it in any time soon and has absolutely nothing planned for the 300th post in 2020 or the bulk of the 99 posts that will come before it. What will those posts be about? If the last 200 posts are anything to go by, probably more of the same with a few surprises here and there. One thing's for certain though; IaSg14 will continue to write (and entertain) as long as there's an audience for it, be it 1 or 100.


In other news, it's been a pretty frickin' slow month for Rock/Metal news. Here's hoping October will have more going for it!