Guitar Hero: Aerosmith

Continuing my quest to review/discuss the setlist to every Guitar Hero/Rock Band game, our next entry in the series of these posts is the second Guitar Hero expansion and the first band-centric Guitar Hero title; Guitar Hero: Aerosmith. This game was apparently the biggest selling band-centric GH title although to many fans of the franchise (myself included), certainly not the best. However, just how good is the setlist?
In this post, I'll be looking at the 30 main-setlist songs (occasionally referring to the 10 bonus tracks and ignoring the Joe Perry boss battle tune) and deciding whether or not I think they belong in the game based on a) my personal opinion of the song's quality, b) whether it's fun to play on guitar and c) whether it fits in with the general tone/purpose of the game. If you're interested in what I've had to say about other Guitar Hero/Rock Band games like Guitar Hero 2 and Rock Band Unplugged, feel free to follow those links. If not, let's get started!

"All Day And All Of The Night" - The Kinks
First up, we have one of the game's guest acts and let me just say, I am fucking glad we got The Kinks in one of these games. Granted it's a WaveGroup cover but hey, at least it's a damn good one with an extended guitar solo. As for whether this song's appropriate, I can totally see Aerosmith enjoying The Kinks and wanting to include one of their songs in the game. All in all, it's a fun track for one of the early career mode stages and even if it isn't my personal favourite Kinks track, it's definitely a better choice than "Lola" or "You Really Got Me". THUMBS UP.

"All The Young Dudes" - Mott The Hoople
Not gonna lie, this song is solely responsible for me buying this game when it came out. I watched the chart, listened to the cover and immediately fell in love with it. The quality of the WaveGroup cover is incredible and the extended guitar solo fits in perfectly with the track. It's a shame they had to underchart the solo to fit in with the game's first career mode stage but at least it's still very fun to play and again, totally a song I can imagine Aerosmith being inspired by. It's definitely the best Mott The Hoople song to go with (as it is their signature song) although "One Of The Boys" would've been a fun one too. THUMBS UP.

"Always On The Run" - Lenny Kravitz and Slash
Another guest act but this time, it's the original master recording. Even though Aerosmith started before Lenny Kravitz, I can definitely hear similarities between Aerosmith's vocals/guitar riffs and Kravitz's so I have no objection to Lenny's inclusion in the game. It's also a great Kravitz song choice, as "Are You Gonna Go My Way" was clearly set up for Guitar Hero: World Tour and if you want a Kravitz song for a GH game, you definitely want one with fun guitar...so what better track than one with Slash tagging along too? It's a solid song and a fun chart so THUMBS UP.

"Back In The Saddle" - Aerosmith
Our first (alphabetical) Aerosmith song is a good 'un! Great guitar riff and awesome Hard Rock rhythms. This is the ultimate "Fuck yeah, here I am" song and it's one of Aerosmith's big hits so it totally belongs in the game. However, there are some issues I have with the chart; namely the overabundance of lead guitar over the main riff on rhythm. Rock Band released this song as DLC with the rhythm guitar taking all of the glory during the chorus and it's easily more fun to play. Playing sustains instead of the epic riff is a poor choice but hey, at least it's still fun and sensible for the game. THUMBS UP. Looking good so far, huh.

"Beyond Beautiful" - Aerosmith
So this is a bit of a funny one. Whilst the song's decent and the chart is kinda fun once the solo kicks in (as that main riff is a little dull), I'm not sure it's the best choice for the game. It's a fairly modern Aerosmith track compared to the release date of this game and considering some of the glaring omissions from this game, it feels more like it was included because the band wanted some of their more recent tracks to share the spotlight. It's not even the best modern Aerosmith track, as they recorded a fantastic cover of "Baby Please Don't Go" in 2004 and considering how much Joe Perry has shit on the album and band's career around this time, I can't say I would've missed this if it was removed at the last minute. THUMBS DOWN.

"Bright Light Fright" - Aerosmith
Meh, not impressed with this one. It's a deep cut off Draw The Line and even though it has some fun little guitar licks here and there, it's definitely not worthy of the game's main setlist. It could've passed as a bonus track instead of one of the Joe Perry solo songs but when you've got songs like "Young Lust" and "Dude (Looks Like A Lady)" missing from the game, it's an easy THUMBS DOWN for this song.

"Cat Scratch Fever" - Ted Nugent
I've said it before and I'll say it again: Ted Nugent might be a world class cunt but he was a fucking great guitarist in his prime and his songs would've been incredible in Guitar Hero/Rock Band. Sadly, the only ones they've picked are this and "Stranglehold", both containing fairly weak guitar riffs and solos in comparison to tracks like "Stormtroopin'" and "The Great White Buffalo". I don't really like this song and even though a great Ted Nugent song would've been fun (and suitable) in this game, I'm giving it a THUMBS DOWN.

"Complete Control" - The Clash
Whilst I guess Punk songs MAY have a place in an Aerosmith game if Aerosmith have acknowledged Punk influences (I don't care for the band or genre enough to independently research it), the fewer the better in my eyes. However, of all the songs to pick, this has to be one of the best. It's got an actual guitar solo, not to mention the line "YOU'RE MY GUITAR HERO" which kinda gives it a reason to be in a GH game alone. THUMBS UP for being a shining diamond in the murky turd filled toilet bowl of the Punk music genre.

"Draw The Line" - Aerosmith
As odd as this may sound, this song's guitar riff is so fucking ugly. Like, if sound could be unattractive, this is what it would be. This song is boring to play, rough to listen to and even if it is the title track from their 1977 album, it's a lame song choice that early on in the game. Compare the first few songs in Guitar Hero: Metallica; "For Whom The Bell Tolls" and "The Unforgiven", both fantastic tracks with fun but easy guitar charts. There are easy Aerosmith songs like "Hangman Jury" with some great HOPO riffs that should've been included over this shit. THUMBS DOWN.

"Dream On" - Aerosmith
This is one of four songs rerecorded for the game and I'll be honest, I love this version over the original. The guitar chart is fun to play and Tyler's vocals don't sound fucking laughable during the helium-sucking "DREEM OWHN!" bit. It's also one of Aerosmith's better power ballads and if you're going to include power ballads (which you pretty much have to when making a rhythm music game focused around Rock's biggest pussies), this is a far greater choice than "I Don't Want To Miss A Thing", another surprising omission although I'm not gonna shed a tear over it. THUMBS UP.

"Dream Police" - Cheap Trick
Another guest act that I'm OK with being in Guitar Hero: Aerosmith. However, I'm not sure that this song is the best choice. "Dream Police" is kind of a campy song and at the time of this game's release, the At Budokan live version of "I Want You To Want Me" hadn't been featured in a rhythm music game and that song reminds me of Aerosmith more than this one. However, it's an easy song to include early on in the game's career mode and a popular track by the band. I guess there's no real reason it shouldn't be in the game but since it's a mediocre song that feels more appropriate as Rock Band DLC than on-disc track in GH:A, I'm giving it a THUMBS DOWN. Apparently a White Stripes song was rumoured to be in this game but changed at the last minute and you know that would've been easy on guitar. If this song replaced one of their better guitar based tracks, that would've sucked.

"Hard To Handle" - The Black Crowes
Ah, now THIS is a good track and a decent cover by Steve Ouimette. There are some damn fine guitar solos and the gritty Southern Blues sound of the song definitely fits in with the rest of the Aerosmith material. Whilst The Black Crowes have some great songs that would work in Guitar Hero, this is certainly the best one they could've gone with. It's the band's signature song (and a superb cover) so not including this would've been the wrong decision. THUMBS UP.

"I Hate Myself For Loving You" - Joan Jett
Bleh, more Punk. Chords, droning vocals and general boredom a-plenty in this song. I don't know how much of an influence Joan Jett played in Aerosmith's career but if you're after female Rock musicians, Pat Benatar always trumps Joan Jett. ALWAYS. However, if you have to pick a Joan Jett song, I probably would've preferred "Bad Reputation". It's still dull on guitar but at least it's a fun and punchy song. THUMBS DOWN.

"King Of Rock" - Run-D.M.C.
OH SHIT, IT'S RUN-D.M.C. BOIZ! You may be asking why a Hip Hop artist is in a Rock music game but remember that godawful "Walk This Way" remix? Yeah, it was this prick. Since he did a pointless Hip Hop remix of a great Rock song with these guys, he not only has a song in the game but he also appears as a playable character in game. I don't know much Run-D.M.C. although I probably would've preferred his shameless Toni Basil ripoff "It's Tricky" to this crap tune. Also, fuck this shithead for calling himself the "King Of Rock". THUMBS DOWN and furthermore, I hope he's penniless and miserable.

"Livin' On The Edge" - Aerosmith
I feel like I haven't heard this song outside of Guitar Hero: Aerosmith but apparently, it's one of the band's more popular songs? Personally, I think it's a little overproduced and the lyric "There's something wrong with the world today" just makes me hate this song. Then there's Joe Perry's guitar work, which is average at best. Sure, the riffs are fun but he craps out a terrible guitar solo and the outro goes on WAY TOO LONG. All in all, this is the kind of song I would hide in the bonus section instead of "Rats In The Cellar", a far greater Hard Rock track with an awesome guitar chart. THUMBS DOWN.

"Love In An Elevator" - Aerosmith
One of the band's more popular songs and yeah, it's OK on guitar. It also has a lengthy vocal outro which isn't fun to sit through in a guitar/bass only game but hey, the rest of the song makes up for it. I'm surprised we didn't get more songs from Rocks and Pump, since they're two of the band's better albums. However, I can't argue with this song's inclusion so THUMBS UP. However, somewhere out there in the multiverse is a reality where Guitar Hero: Aerosmith happened in place of Guitar Hero: Van Halen (with full band) and this song is far better in that game.

"Make It" - Aerosmith
Another rerecording from the band's debut album. Goddamn, Motley Crue must've been avid listeners of this album, huh. Anyway, this song is also one of the first Aerosmith songs you play in the career mode and whilst it's not exactly a big hit for the band, it's not a bad guitar chart for the early tier and it's a good rerecording too. I also don't have a problem with this song being in the game, even though I'm not a huge fan of it outside of GH, as there's nothing wrong with deep cuts being in the game as long as they're not replacing better songs. It's good to introduce people to music they may not have heard before in these games so THUMBS UP.

"Mama Kin" - Aerosmith
Another rerecording but this time at the end of the game's career mode. In comparison to final stages in other GH/RB games, this song's actually pretty easy on guitar. It's mostly challenging due to chord progressions and a faster rhythm that previous tracks but it's still relatively straightforward. However, since Aerosmith don't have a huge number of insanely difficult songs (or any at all), it's as good as they could get. I mean, this song could've been bumped down the career mode list, replacing an easier song that I'll be discussing in a bit and instead allowing "Eat The Rich" to be one of the last songs on-disc. However, the song's a solid Rock track and one of the band's popular songs so it's a good fit for this game. THUMBS UP.

"Movin' On" - Aerosmith
The final rerecorded track from the debut and my God, what a fun one on guitar. A hugely underrated track in this game with some great riffs and a tidy solo. It may be featured early on in the game's career mode but it's not a walk in the park if you're after the FC, due to some brief rapid strumming moments. Even though it's not a single, it was one of the first songs the band actually wrote and played together so it has some significance in the band's career making it a worthy song for this game, in my books. THUMBS UP for the fun chart alone.

"No Surprize" - Aerosmith
And here we have a weaker version of "Mama Kin", although the guitar riff in this song isn't bad. It reminds me of another song with a name that I can't quite place although the track has a kind of Rolling Stones vibe, which probably explains why it's a little dull. All in all, this song isn't one I would've chosen for the game, just due to how plain it is. THIS is the song that could've been replaced by "Eat The Rich" if you moved "Mama Kin" down the career mode list so it's getting a THUMBS DOWN.

"Nobody's Fault" - Aerosmith
I forgot how fun the guitar in this song is, although it's off Rocks so you know it's gonna be good. Great riffs, awesome solos, one annoying trill section (fuckin Joe Perry and his annoying trills when he can't think of anything else to play) but otherwise, a great inclusion in the game. The career mode setlist should be full of fun guitar songs by Aerosmith so tracks like this will always make me happy. It also helps when they're good tunes or singles/favourites by band members or fans but the main thing is how fun it is to play. THUMBS UP.

"Personality Crisis" - New York Dolls
Jesus, more Punk?! Alright then. Admittedly, I don't know too much about the New York Dolls but I do know that "Jet Boy" would've been more fun to play than this song. Alternatively, we could've had a song that WASN'T Punk! A song that Aerosmith have been inspired by or maybe covered at one point like "Oh Well" - Fleetwood Mac or something by Deep Purple, since a Deep Purple song was also rumoured to be included in the game's soundtrack at one point. THUMBS DOWN.

"Rag Doll" - Aerosmith
This song is built around a catchy riff and vocal melody in the chorus, making it a fan favourite and a fun one to play for casual players. It's also quite similar to "Love In An Elevator" but thankfully, just as fun to play. I wouldn't replace this song with any other, even if I'm not the biggest fan of it, but if you're after a middle ground song with some fun riffs to play, you can do much worse than "Rag Doll". THUMBS UP.

"Sex Type Thing" - Stone Temple Pilots
Some 90s Grunge/Hard Rock? OK, I guess. This may be one of STP's bigger songs but come on, it's a pretty poor song to play on guitar. Something like "Vasoline" or "Crackerman" would've been way better, especially since the latter sounds just like "Sex Type Thing" only with an actual guitar solo added. I'm not sure if Aerosmith consider Stone Temple Pilots a major source of inspiration or whatever but musically, this song sounds a little out of place in this game. Just a little but enough to contribute to the THUMBS DOWN it's getting.

"She Sells Sanctuary" - The Cult
As much as I love this song, I feel the same way about this inclusion. The Cult are a different breed of Hard Rock to Aerosmith and their song doesn't quite sound as aggressive as other guest acts in the game. Then again, if Mott The Hoople can sound right, so can this. This is The Cult's most famous song and since the band aren't the most musically diverse when it comes to their hit singles, it's a sensible choice. However, this arguably should've been featured earlier on in the career mode setlist (as it's pretty fuckin' easy on guitar) so we could've had a properly charted "All The Young Dudes". Ah well, what's done is done. THUMBS UP.

"Sweet Emotion" - Aerosmith
Here we go, one of Aerosmith's best songs and a fun (but easy) guitar chart too. Granted the trills get a little annoying but they can't be helped when Joe Perry's involved. Thankfully, the bass is epic and the riffs are sweet. Plus, it's arguably the band's signature song so if it wasn't included in the setlist, there would've been hell to pay. THUMBS UP because do you really need me to say anything else?

"Toys In The Attic" - Aerosmith
The single greatest chart in this game and one of the finest in GH history. Unlike Rock Band 4 where they fucked up everything except the main riff, this song is just fantastic to play from start to finish. The solo is great, the trills aren't annoying and that riff. Man, that fuckin' riff is just the best. What the hell were Harmonix thinking when they charted this song in RB4? Wait, let me rephrase that; what the hell were Harmonix DRINKING? THUMBS UP and if you haven't played this song, I recommend picking up a copy of GH:A just for this and "All The Young Dudes".

"Train Kept-A-Rollin'" - Aerosmith
The final boss of the game and to the untrained player, it's pretty darn challenging. Trills, tough solos throughout and a change-up in tempo halfway through. It's also a great cover of the original by the Yardbirds and one of Aerosmith's better known tracks so totally appropriate for this game. It's a shame we never got this track as a master recording outside of GH:A but at least the RB1 cover is great; that's right, one minute I'm dicking on HMX and the next I'm praising them! However, that doesn't change the fact that this song is getting a THUMBS UP.

"Uncle Salty" - Aerosmith
This song fucking sucks. Boring, godawful to listen to and taking the place of literally any other Aerosmith song. It's bad in every sense of the word. THUMBS DOWN.

"Walk This Way" - Aerosmith featuring Run-D.M.C.
Why, why, why, WHY did they include the remix in the main setlist instead of the original?! Don't worry, the original version is available as a bonus track but boy, did they get that decision wrong. This should've been bonus, the original 1975 version of "Walk This Way" with the amazing guitar chart should've been part of the main setlist. THUMBS DOWN.


So it turns out with 17 Thumbs Up against 13 Thumbs Down, this game's soundtrack is about as good as I remembered if not a little bit better. There are a bunch of classics, some decent tunes and a sturdy collection of shit. In other words, not as good as Guitar Hero: Metallica but about as good as Guitar Hero: Van Halen, as both GH:A and GH:VH have approximately 57% Thumbs Up! However, if you factored the bonus songs into it...well, you'd probably still get the same percentage, as I like five of them and hate/dislike the other five. Still, at least we know what I think of Guitar Hero: Aerosmith ten years after playing it so it hasn't been a complete waste of time!

Shout Out: Sweet Fanny Adams and Desolation Boulevard - Sweet

I know I said I'd be writing a Rapid Fire post but after a bit of thought, I decided to adapt it into a Shout Out post. But not just any Shout Out post, oh no. This time, it's a...
DOUBLE SHOUT OUT POST!
Yes, I couldn't decide which of these two brilliant albums to dedicate a post to so decided to write about both of them! First up, we have Sweet Fanny Adams, an album that's an essential listen for fans of 70s Hard Rock!

Most bands that choose to adapt their sound to appeal to a different audience tend to do so after about six albums. Not Sweet; they did it after just one. Not only that but they also changed their name from The Sweet to just Sweet. Granted there were three years in between the release of Funny How Sweet Co-Co Can Be and this record but the band also released some of their most popular singles in that time such as "Block Buster", "Little Willy" and of course "The Ballroom Blitz". These singles teased the band's transition from Bubblegum Pop to a heavier Glam Rock style of music but it wasn't until this album that the band begun to fully embrace Hard Rock...with a bit of Glam here and there.
Album opener "Set Me Free" was an explosive entrance onto the Rock scene, clearly taking influence from contemporaries at the time such as Deep Purple and The Who. The band only continued to keep things heavy with tracks such as "Rebel Rouser", a spiritual successor to "Hell Raiser", and title track "Sweet F.A.", a song with a heavy gallop and percussion throughout. Even the Glam infused tracks are heavier than your typical Top Of The Pops numbers with songs like "AC-DC" and "Into The Night" focusing more on raw vocals and rhythms than sing-a-longs and catchy riffs.
An important thing to remember whilst listening to this album is that it came out in 1974, around the time that Queen were just starting out (Queen II, which contained the complete version of "Seven Seas Of Rhye", was released just one month before Sweet Fanny Adams). Both bands pioneered vocal and guitar harmonies in Hard Rock although only Queen got the worldwide acclaim for their music. Whilst I think that Queen made better decisions over the course of their career and earned their fame through genuine talent, it's a shame that Sweet didn't even earn a fraction of their popularity despite being documented influences for Brian May's guitar work. What I'm trying to say is that Sweet Fanny Adams is a great album; highly underrated and one that I recommend to fans of 70s Rock.

1. Set Me Free

2. Heartbreak Tonight

3. No You Don't

4. Rebel Rouser

5. Peppermint Twist

6. Sweet F.A.

7. Restless

8. Into The Night

9. AC-DC

ALBUM RATING - 9/10

Of course I couldn't talk about Sweet Fanny Adams without also mentioning the follow-up album, Desolation Boulevard.

There are two versions of this album available, one released in 1974 in the UK and one released in 1975 in the US. The US version had a different tracklist, containing tracks off Sweet Fanny Adams and more radio-friendly versions of hit singles, whereas the UK version was 100% new and all Rock. I'm gonna be talking about the UK version. To say it was released literally in the same year as Sweet Fanny Adams, the fact that the album is clearly a different beast is impressive. Album opener "The Six Teens" showcases this with acoustic melodies paired with the electric guitar harmonies, not to mention the tempo changes later on. Sweet were back and in that short space of time between album releases, they'd learnt a thing or two!

The general songwriting quality is still great and contains a decent amount of variety, alternating between heavier Glam Rockers ("Turn It Down") and softer melodic numbers ("Lady Starlight"). However, there are three tracks that need singling out. First up is "Man With The Golden Arm", a cover of the theme by Elmer Bernstein that would be a great track if not for the five minute drum solo. It's ambitious but a little too masturbatory for me. Then there's a cover of "My Generation", the album closer that does a damn good job of recreating the energy and passion of The Who's original. Whilst the bass solos may not have the same appeal, the band still do a grand job of the song...up until it all goes to shit 50 seconds before the end.
Finally, there's the single-most important reason to listen to the album. "Fox On The Run". If you've heard this song before, chances are it was the rerecorded version for the 1975 version of this album; the one with synth and added backing vocal harmonies. This original version is more of a Hard Rock song with a much better guitar riff, TWO guitar solos, some fantastic percussion, raw vocals and great bass licks throughout. It's a shame that this version isn't more widely known as I would argue that it can go toe-to-toe with any of AC/DC's top songs. Whilst the 1975 album may have had a stronger tracklist due to the inclusion of multiple Sweet Fanny Adams songs, this album deserves a shoutout for the Hard Rock version of "Fox On The Run" alone. Now we just need an album with the full version of "Show Me The Way" too.

1. The Six Teens

2. Solid Gold Brass

3. Turn It Down

4. Medussa

5. Lady Starlight

6. Man With The Golden Arm

7. Fox On The Run

8. Breakdown

9. My Generation

ALBUM RATING - 6/10

Both albums are available as extended versions on Spotify and iTunes so you now have no excuse not to enjoy these cracking records!

Here Is The News: June 2018 Edition

How do we all feel about the Here Is The News title? Good? Yeah? Great, I'm keeping it.
Last month, I told you guys about the exciting events happening in the Rock/Metal community with the promise of keeping you updated in subsequent months whenever something newsworthy occurs. Thankfully, it's been an eventful month in the world of Rock/Metal but fear not; I've picked the three biggest stories to report on for your eyes so if you're sitting comfortably, it's time for the news!

OZZY OSBOURNE ALBUM PASSES AWAY

After 29 years of being available in record stores and online, the Ozzy Osbourne album Ozzymandias has died and is no longer available anywhere, even if you already owned it. The 1989 LP was considered a career highlight and the news of its passing has shocked fans all over the world, especially when they tried listening to their copy of Ozzymandias only to discover all evidence of the album's existence is no longer with us.

It's believed that the album passed away peacefully in the early hours of the morning although an autopsy needs to be carried out to ensure that drugs weren't involved in the same way they were during the album's conception. Ozzymandias contained nine tracks featuring an album cover that had Ozzy Osbourne dressed in an extravagant costume and hit singles "The Crucifix" and "Time To Dry Your Eyes". Lyrical themes on the album included religion, insanity, romance, mysticism, literature and the Rock & Roll lifestyle Ozzy's become known for. Fans all over the world are desperately searching Ozzy's back catalogue to find even a single song that covers any of those lyrical themes.

As is often the case when a famous musician passes away, Metal celebrities have been coming out of the woodwork to offer their condolences and thoughts on Ozzymandias in a move that has absolutely no personal agenda to it. During a radio interview, Dee Snider of Twisted Sister claimed "I remember listening to [Ozzymandias] before going on stage every night for about a week, "Out Of Milk" was a personal favourite. It feels like a part of me has died alongside this album" before promoting his new autobiography audiobook. The band Anthrax also updated their website to include an obituary for the album, claiming that "Ozzymandias was a true inspiration for our music from 1990 to today".

Ozzy Osbourne (pictured right) was asked to comment on the news of his album's demise. Ozzy stated "I remember very little of the recording sessions for that album but I'm told that I was quite good!" During the interview, Ozzy went on to say that he regrets not playing more (or any) songs from the album on his live tours. He also claimed that he hopes his fans will remember the good times had when listening to his music, all the while turning back to a nodding Sharon Osbourne for confirmation before continuing with the next sentiment.

Ozzymandias may be gone but it certainly isn't forgotten. Work has already begun on recreating the album through the magic of holographic technology so that fans can once again enjoy the experience of owning it. Holographic projectors are being installed in all major record stores and hopefully by February next year, fans can purchase portable projectors so they can take holograms of the album home with them for the low price of £1299.99, which is just slightly more than the deluxe version of the album's reissue from 2009.

LED ZEPPELIN ARE NOT TOURING OR RECORDING NEW MUSIC

Led Zeppelin are a band that formed in the 60s and released many iconic Rock albums during their career. However, at the time of writing this blog post, Led Zeppelin have not announced a new tour or the news that they're recording brand new music so this article (and pretty much every article about the band that doesn't announce a tour or new music) is completely pointless.

Recently, the band announced that they're re-releasing their 1976 live soundtrack album The Song Remains The Same (pictured left) for their 50th anniversary. However, a live soundtrack re-release is not the same as touring again or recording new music so who the hell cares. The soundtrack was remastered by Jimmy Page but since he's not planning on playing new or old music on stage with the rest of the surviving band members, it's irrelevant.

The band broke up in 1980 after the death of drummer John Bonham but have reformed briefly in the past. The last time the band played live was December 2007 at London's 02 Arena and since then, Robert Plant has shot down plans of the band reforming and/or recording new music. Robert Plant has also recorded solo albums but only a fraction of people give a shit because it's not the same as Led Zeppelin touring or releasing new music, which they're currently not doing.

This is basically what the article is. This is what every article about Led Zeppelin that doesn't announce a new tour or the fact that the band are going back into the studio with new music is. Why the fuck are you still reading this, I'm not giving you any new information. Led Zeppelin (pictured right, playing live) had a great run but if they're not touring or contributing to their craft with new music, nobody cares because there are Led Zeppelinesque bands that are touring and giving us new music, like Greta Van Fleet. Those guys ARE touring and recording new music, so they're worth reading about.

Seriously, you're still reading this?! What do you expect is going to happen, I'm going to tease some kind of bullshit about one of the band members "hoping" to get back together from some ego-stroking magazine interview? Like I'm not going to lead with the possibility of Led Zeppelin touring or recording new music if I thought there was even the remotest possibility of that happening in my lifetime? No, there is absolutely nothing happening on the Led Zeppelin front at the moment. Nothing at all. Bet you're glad you read all the way to these last few sentences; was that worth two minutes of your life? You could've listened to a quarter of "Stairway To Heaven" in that time or done something other than dedicate precious thought to a band that don't give a shit about their history. Oh well, at least you smiled at this article? No? Well shit, looks like we both pissed away our time.

THAT BAND WITH THE SONG KICK OFF WORLD TOUR

The band that released that sort of popular Alternative Rock song in the 90s have announced that they're embarking on a world tour, playing all their greatest hits and a couple of songs off their new album that they quietly released last year. The band have also revealed the name of their 2018/2019 tour is the We Need More Money Now That TV Ads Have Stopped Licensing Our Singles Tour.

The tour will start with a few shows in America before playing side stages at a few festivals in the UK and then returning to America for the rest of the year. Whilst the setlist is unknown at the time of writing this article, it's thought that hit songs such as "The One With The Catchy Chorus But Forgettable Everything Else", "We Got A Female Musician To Sing In The Background Of This One" and "No, This Song Isn't By THAT Band After All" will be played along with newer songs like "We're Slightly Heavier Now We're A Bit Older" and "Cover Of A 70s Song To Gain A Bit Of Media Attention".

When asked about the tour, the frontman stated "It's good to get back on tour again, especially after our guitarist had a bit of trouble with a difficult divorce settlement. Plus, the drummer has kids now so he's constantly looking for a way to get out of the house for a lengthy period of time AND relive his past before his dreams died. All in all, it just feels like the right time for us to get back out there and introduce our melodic yet indistinct sounds to a brand new audience who love Alternative Rock, chill tunes and most importantly, hollow 90s nostalgia. I don't know if this tour would be possible without a generation of twentysomethings who've convinced themselves that the 90s were great just because things are so relentlessly shitty now".

The band (who may or may not be pictured right?) split up in 2006 after disappointing sales for their album We Didn't Adapt When We Should Have resulted in their record label prematurely ending their contract. Since then, members from the band have attempted to launch solo careers and form supergroups with members of other neglected 90s Alternative Rock bands who failed to adapt and innovate their sound in time to salvage their careers. However, neither attempt proved successful for any band member.

After a desperate few years relying on royalties from TV adverts and radio stations who don't quite understand the meaning of "oldies", the band eventually decided to get back together after seeing the rise of older bands releasing comeback albums and going on greatest hits tours around the early 2010s. Since then, they've been preparing for their opportunity to milk another 15 minutes out of the public and are currently sharing the stage at various UK festivals with other classic acts such as Experimental Synth Pop Wankers, Two Women Playing Cheesy Pop Rock, An OK Comedian With An Acoustic Guitar, Some 70s Funk Band With About 30 Members and Chesney Hawkes. Tickets are on sale now and probably will be for a while.

That's the end of the news for this month!

COMING SOON: Rapid Fire and probably a video game post.

Attention Attention - Shinedown

Ho hum, another month of delayed posts, by the looks of it.
Anyway, let's start things off with a review I forgot to do in May!

If I hadn't listened to Shinedown's back catalogue before listening to this album, I probably wouldn't have been so keen to give this album a try based on the first few tracks I heard. They're not bad songs but despite being heavier than singles released from their last album like "Cut The Cord" and "Black Cadillac", the amount of actual Rock songs on Attention Attention is a bit too slim. Album opener "The Entrance" is a pointless atmospheric introduction (yay concept albums!) to the true album opener "Devil", a solid lead single with heavier percussion, a great guitar riff and some catchy backing vocals in the chorus. This song's a good example of Shinedown's ability to write good Rock songs built around a single musical hook and multiple vocal melodies; it's just a shame it's not the best representative for the album to come.
As someone who liked The Sound Of Madness and Amaryllis more than Threat To Survival, it's good to hear tracks with more power translated through each instrument into proper Rock. Songs like "Pyro" and "Evolve" are energetic and contain some more aggressive vocals and riffs to kick down your ear-doors whilst title track "Attention Attention" is a good song for fans of previous material due to the slower, punchier rhythm and lack of needless experimentation. However, these Rock songs are the smoked ham and mustard between damp, mushy slices of Pop bread in this disappointment sandwich.
"Get Up" and "Special", a pair of straight-up Pop songs built around piano melodies and featuring string/synth accompaniments instead of guitar riffs and pounding percussion, might have the passion as far as songwriting goes but they'd be more at home on a Take That album, blasted out by some floppy haired twat on one of those vapid talent shows about hard-done by twenty year olds who just really want to make music for an audience of about 70 million paying customers. I'm aware that Shinedown are no strangers to the softer, more emotional material but something about these tracks felt more hollow; more commercial. That's my biggest issue with the album.

The bulk of the music would easily fall into the Pop Rock bargain bucket, right next to Fall Out Boy ("Kill Your Conscience") and Goo Goo Dolls ("Creatures"), even if the band have put their own unique twist on these tracks. "Black Soul" does a good job of compensating for the introduction with a heavy chorus but what we needed was more tracks like "Monsters" or "Darkside"; songs that are slower, still vocally driven but contain those great guitar melodies and the energy of a Rock song, even if they also feature those Pop aspects here and there.
Thankfully, the band limit their curiosity to experiment to one track at the end of the album: "The Human Radio". The bizarre mix of Electronic and Rock could've been a great song with a few more Rock elements but otherwise, it's not bad. The use of vocoders and more prominent synth melodies reminded me of Muse without the pretentiousness and it's a good song to listen to before "Brilliant", the uplifting outro and strong finish to a mediocre record...up until the last minute of noise, but you can ignore that. Despite my general panning of the more commercial aspects of the album, the band do a great job of arranging the musical variety without compromising the narrative about overcoming mental issues related to low self-esteem and negativity.
The Rock tracks have been strategically placed between Pop (Rock) numbers to avoid a monotonous sound and to give fans old and new something to get stuck into if they want to pick and choose tracks instead of enjoying it all in one sitting as intended. Plus, due to the commercial nature of the album, the mix and production values are on the upper-middle end of the Rock scale. This album definitely could've been a lot worse and whilst I wasn't hyped going into it based on Threat To Survival and what I'd heard of it so far, I don't feel like I've been insulted in the way albums with too many Pop elements like Concrete And Gold - Foo Fighters left me feeling.

From the perspective of someone who likes Rock/Metal music, Attention Attention is either an awesome Pop album or a weak Rock one. I personally would've preferred maybe one or two more (Hard) Rock tracks instead of Pop Rock or Pop songs but at least it didn't suffer from the second half slump that modern Rock/Metal albums tend to do. I rate it 5/10 and would recommend it to people who don't lean too heavily towards being a Rock or Pop fan, as it rides the line for casual listeners but won't win any prizes for either genre. However, bands like Metallica could learn a thing or two from the tracklist and musical variety; it's refreshing to hear an album that doesn't feature all the stronger material in the first 50% followed by complete and utter shite until the final track in order to trick listeners into thinking they've heard a great album.

Rapid Fire: Scorpions, Testament, White Wizzard

Our final post of the month is a quick look at three albums released across different decades that all share at least one common factor. In this case, it's striking album artwork and what better genre to represent high quality album art than Heavy Metal.
The first album comes from a band known for controversial album artwork that often had to be replaced by a less offensive images. That's right, it's NOT Cannibal Corpse because fuck them. It's Scorpions.


1. Blackout - Scorpions

Of all the classic Scorpions albums I've listened to, this is probably my favourite. It also has the best album artwork with Lovedrive coming in at a close second. Anyway, when it comes to Heavy Metal from the 70s, Scorpions are arguably the gold standard. The perfect blend of Klaus Meine's vocals, guitar from one of the Schenkers and percussion from [INSERT DRUMMER HERE] (although Herman Rarebell's work on this album is a highlight) result in a sound that sounds a little more aggressive than typical Hard Rock but not quite as furious as 80s Metal; this is apparent from album opener and title track "Blackout", a fan favourite containing great riffs, a catchy chorus and an outro that maybe could've done without the scream.
From here, the album gives us a healthy variety of commercially oriented Pop Metal ("No One Like You"), slower power ballads that still rock ("When The Smoke Is Going Down"), chugging Heavy Metal ("China White") and fast paced bangers ("Dynamite"). This album has a good hit-shit ratio but the variety does mean fans of faster Heavy Metal might get a little bored during the more casual tracks like "Arizona". Likewise, listeners who want something to chill out to should probably find a different album (or genre) due to songs like "Now!" appearing and shaking you awake.
This album is an all-rounder and definitely a classic that I'd recommend to fans of the genre  although it takes its strongest step in the first half. The latter half is made up of deep cuts and afterthoughts that likely won't win anyone over if they hadn't heard any of the album's main singles that all happen to come from the first half. Blackout isn't the best Heavy Metal album in existence but it's certainly a strong contender for one of Scorpions' finest records; definitely one of the best out of their golden years (Virgin Killer to Savage Amusement).

1. Blackout

2. Can't Live Without You

3. No One Like You

4. You Give Me All I Need

5. Now!

6. Dynamite

7. Arizona

8. China White

9. When The Smoke Is Going Down

ALBUM RATING - 7/10

Next up is an album from 1990, the last year of the truly great Heavy Metal album.

2. Souls Of Black - Testament

When choosing music for this post, it was between this album and Spreading The Disease - Anthrax but in the end, I went with Testament because I've already talked about Anthrax in a Rapid Fire post. Besides, this album needs addressing. First off, we have a fucking great album cover. Along with Spreading The Disease and Peace Sells...But Who's Buying?, it's artwork that I could get lost in and catches your eye when browsing the Metal section of your record store. Then we have the album opener "Face In The Sky" after acoustic intro "Beginning Of The End". Both tracks do a great job of creating atmosphere before giving you some damn fine Thrash Metal to get stuck into.

The album contains some exceptional material that could easily go toe to toe with some of Thrash Metal's finest moments but unfortunately, there's one glaring fault that prevents Souls Of Black from being a shining star: the godawful, horrifically flat mix. When all's said and done, you can compare Souls Of Black to other Metal albums released in the same year like Rust In Peace and Painkiller and the difference in audio quality is night and day. Producer Michael Rosen should be fucking ashamed for ruining what could've been a damn near perfect record, although the producer credits also list Testament as producing so the fault could lie with them too.

Either way, there are a lot of great songs here that are sullied by the terrible mix (as proven by the far superior rerecording of "Souls Of Black" used in Rock Band 2) but if you can get past that, there are plenty of jewels to be found in this trash can. Even when the tracks slow down to take a breather, they still maintain the raw aggression and awesome riffs needed for top notch Thrash. Maybe one day the entire album will get the rerecording treatment instead of just the title track but until then, I guess we'll have to make do with this swing and a miss.

1. Beginning Of The End

2. Face In The Sky

3. Falling Fast

4. Souls Of Black

5. Absence Of Light

6. Love To Hate

7. Malpractice

8. One Man's Fate

9. The Legacy

10. Seven Days Of May

ALBUM RATING - 7/10

The last album is a fairly modern one (2010) but was clearly inspired by Metal greats from the 80s.

3. Over The Top - White Wizzard

White Wizzard are an American NWOTHM band that MAY have listened to a lot of Iron Maiden and Anthrax whilst growing up, but I'm not completely certain about that. Regardless of their personal taste in music, the band's amplified bass, falsetto vocals and galloping rhythm definitely conjure memories of 80s Metal as demonstrated in album opener and title track "Over The Top". It's a great introduction to the band if you've never heard of them before (which is highly likely) but the real heavy hitters come later on, especially if you're a fan of riff-based Metal and backing vocals perfect for singing along during gigs.

Even though there are more than a few comparisons to their sources of inspiration, the band are easily able to stand up on their own feet. In fact, I'd argue that there's a case to be made that White Wizzard have taken those factors and improved them. Whilst there's the occasional proggy deep cut ("Iron Goddess Of Vengeance"), there are also tracks with mildly progressive elements ("High Roller") that don't go on anywhere near as long as those in modern Iron Maiden or Dream Theater songs, meaning that fans of Heavy Metal that remains tight and energetic will have a lot to enjoy in this album. There's also the fact that vocalist Wyatt Anderson can hit those high notes without sounding too rusty, something Bruce Dickinson is starting to lose if live gigs are anything to go by.

The only main downside to Over The Top is that a great Heavy Metal album has plenty of variety between fast tracks, moderately paced sluggers and slower, more emotional material. This album lacks the slower songs that allow the band to show off their musical talent, instead opting to rewrite the same song ("Live Free Or Die" and "Strike Of The Viper"). As a result, you might feel like the band are a bit one-note if you're not a fan of the song they clearly love. Fortunately, I love that song so this is a great album for me. I definitely recommend it if you want some good old fashioned Heavy Metal.

1. Over The Top

2. 40 Deuces

3. High Roller

4. Live Free Or Die

5. Iron Goddess Of Vengeance

6. Out Of Control

7. Strike Of The Viper

8. Death Race

9. White Wizzard

ALBUM RATING - 8/10

Next month: Hopefully posts that don't all come within the last week, although it does depend largely on personal issues resolving themselves.

Tenology: Great Song Uses In Video Games

Yes, it's a video game post but no, it's not about video game music!
Video games have come a long way over the last couple of decades, not just in terms of graphics and gameplay but also music use. When game developers decided to license actual songs instead of relying entirely on music specifically made for the title, most of the time it was just to offer additional background music (see GTA radio stations). However, now and then, the game developers knew that certain gameplay moments couldn't be experienced without a specific track playing and that's what this post is all about; a celebration of those times when a song came on, the stars aligned and all was right with the world just for a few minutes.
These moments don't occur that often, which is probably what makes them even greater, but in no particular order, here are ten times that video games reached the next level (no pun intended) with their uses of licensed music and/or songs by real bands recorded specifically for a game. Note: I'm not including songs licensed just for the game's soundtrack that are heard randomly and without purpose; these songs have to be heard at scripted events to be counted. I'm also not including songs from rhythm music games (Guitar Hero, Rock Band, etc) and I'm aiming to only include one song per game franchise, so no repeat uses of Saints Row tracks.


1. "Children Of The Elder God" - Poets Of The Fall
Used in Alan Wake (2010)

Alan Wake is a game about a writer trying to survive an attack by vicious, possessed creatures in a dark wood. It largely involves a lot of walking, some gun play and a bit of psychological horror. However, one section takes you to a stage in the middle of the woods where the fictional band Old Gods Of Asgard used to play. The game then treats you to a level where the stage lights up and monsters attempt to attack you whilst this song plays from start to finish. Needless to say, it's fucking awesome (if not a little out of place). The song is technically by Poets Of The Fall although I believe the track is credited to their fictional name in the game. Either way, the combination of the great song, the fun level and the welcome break from all the creepiness makes this a highly memorable moment.


2. "Opposites Attract" - Paula Abdul
Used in Saints Row IV (2013)

Saints Row started off as a fun little GTA clone but soon evolved into something much, MUCH better when Saints Row IV came around (although I hear Saints Row The Third is also fantastic). There are many great song uses in this game, including a side mission where you do a pole dance to "Simply Irresistible" - Robert Palmer and escape from an alien mothership to "What Is Love" - Haddaway. However, my personal favourite is a little more low key than those. You're driving with your friend on your way to start the mission (some shooting/fighting affair, no big deal) when "Opposites Attract" comes on over the radio. Your character and your friend then proceed to sing along, playing both parts regardless of which gender or voice actor you choose to play The Boss. It's a particularly fun little section in a game filled with over-the-top missions and music moments...it also helped me get into this song and inspired me to learn all of the lyrics too, although let's not dwell on that.


3. "Painkiller" - Judas Priest
Used in Brutal Legend (2009)

This song was almost going to be "Children Of The Grave" - Black Sabbath or "Through The Fire And Flames" - DragonForce but then I remembered the final boss. Whilst those songs had great uses in this third person hack n slash/RTS inspired by the art and music of Heavy Metal, the final battle of the game is amplified all the more by this epic battle anthem. It's a shame the final boss itself is a lame battle on its own but this song takes it to far higher levels. Hopefully one day we'll get a Brutal Legend 2 before all the Rock/Metal musicians die and the tracks are too expensive to license but hey, at least we can always relive this game.


4. "Still Alive" - Jonathan Coulton
Used in Portal (2007)

Portal is regarded as one of the greatest video games due to its unique puzzle solving elements and humour, although I've never actually played much of it myself. I played a bit on a demo and can't say I cared for it but there is one thing I enjoyed: the song used in the credits. Another track written specifically for the game that sung from the perspective of the game's AI antagonist; a hauntingly optimistic look at the game's events that fans have praised for over a decade. Whilst my enjoyment of the song has faded since I first heard it, I still acknowledge that it's a necessary factor in what makes Portal such a memorable game. It's rightfully taken its place in video game Pop culture, much like "the cake is a lie"...although I prefer "Still Alive".


5. "Gone Guru" - Lifeseeker
Used in Dead Rising (2006)

Yep, I'm even including Hip Hop songs in this list. Whilst I couldn't give a shit about the rapping throughout, the opening guitar notes will always make me think of the prison inmates fight from Dead Rising. Basically, you're stuck in a supermarket overrun with zombies and somehow, a bunch of prisoners have not only escaped but acquired a military vehicle with a machine gun on it. They then drive to the park section of the supermarket where they proceed to spend the majority of the game driving around attempting to kill you instead of looting or, say, escaping. However, every time you enter the park with the convicts around, this song plays...and my God, it is chilling.
See, the zombies in this game are pretty easy to kill. The convicts, however? Pain in the arse. Not only that but they are lethal to any survivors you've got with you, making them a genuine threat to survival that you often have to navigate your way around rather than take head on. Oh, and they respawn. What this means is even after you successfully kill them, you can revisit the park and immediately realise that you're in for a challenge...all because of "Gone Guru" and those opening guitar notes. It's one of the game's scariest moments, all thanks to a single song. Well played, Capcom.


6. "Bad Voodoo" - Kreeps
Used in Red Dead Redemption: Undead Nightmare (2010)

I'd probably be less inclined to include DLC expansions in this list if Undead Nightmare wasn't the single greatest DLC expansion to ever exist. Red Dead Redemption is a fun third person cowboy action game but Undead Nightmare mixes things up with the addition of zombies, completely changing the style of gameplay you might be used to and adding all new levels of fun to an already decent game. The music is creepy and atmospheric but towards the end of the game, you're tasked with riding to Mexico to seek someone out. You get on your horse, you start riding and BAM, this song comes in loud and proud. At first, it sounds like it could be part of the game's score but then the vocals come in as you storm across the fields of death. Most people claim "Far Away" - Jose Gonzales is a great use of licensed music in a game but I still love this song and use.


7. "She Changes Like The Weather" - Nic Armstrong
Used in Destroy All Humans! 2 (2006)

I loved this game when it first came out. Not just because destroying buildings and killing people as an alien was fun to a kid but the improvements made between DaH! and DaH!2 were phenomenal. New weapons, globetrotting locations, decent side missions, proper bodysnatching AND licensed music that sounded great. You'd think that a game taking place in the 60s would license a load of 60s Garage Rock but (presumably) to save on the costs, they instead went for modern music that SOUNDED like 60s Rock. One of the songs featuring prominently throughout the game is "She Changes Like The Weather", a sort of Beatlesque number with a catchy vocal melody. It can be heard near record shops AND towards the end of the game, it plays during a chaotic clash inside a moon base. Maybe it's just because the contrast of this peaceful sounding song and all the fighting going on reminds me of The Prisoner (they used "All You Need Is Love" - The Beatles during a gunfight in the final episode) but I loved hearing it during gameplay, even if it wasn't necessarily my favourite track licensed for the game. I also loved "Help You Ann" - Lyres playing during one of the side missions, although unfortunately that side mission can eat a dick.


8. "Ain't No Rest For The Wicked" - Cage The Elephant
Used in Borderlands (2009)

I'm not a big fan of FPS games but the intro to Borderlands was enough to convince me to give this a try. In the end, I gave it up because my PC couldn't handle it but enough about personal shit, let's talk music! The opening cinematic does an exceptional job of setting the tone, introducing the characters and giving us a snapshot of the world you're about to become a part of and it wouldn't be the same without the action choreographed to "Ain't No Rest For The Wicked". It's the perfect blend of gritty and wacky, just like Borderlands, and lyrically it's exactly the kind of message you need to understand everything you need to know about the characters. I've heard the second game has a decent use of "Short Change Hero" - The Heavy but this is the only game I've played of the Borderlands franchise, so this is the one that struck a chord with me.


9. "Mickey" - Toni Basil
Used in Lollipop Chainsaw (2012)

Another game with an underrated little soundtrack. Lollipop Chainsaw saw you playing as a cheerleader/zombie hunter who carried a comically oversized chainsaw and the still-alive severed head of her boyfriend as she aimed to save each member of her family from the undead. Whilst the game had several great licensed music uses (the Dead Or Alive song during the farm level was also a contender for this list), I never got tired of hearing "Mickey" play every time I powered up and entered sparkle mode or whatever the fuck it was called. It's a song that works not only as a cute little Pop number or the credits song but also as a battle anthem for tearing through zombies. Who knew?


10. "Get It Together" - The Go! Team
Used in LittleBigPlanet (2008)

I hated this game when I played it. I can't remember which level I got to but I remember the realistic gravity and 2D platforming did nothing but piss me off. However, there is one great thing about this game: the use of "Get It Together" - The Go! Team, a charming little Indie number used heavily in the game's promotion but also during some of the levels. The mediocre platforming sections are greatly improved by this quirky tune's presence and the fact that the song was previously associated with the game before appearing in a level makes the song feel like an accomplishment; you've earned the ability to hear this song as you play due to progressing to this point. Maybe I'm only thinking of it as an achievement because to me, playing the game for more than a couple of minutes was a slog, but either way I loved the track and am almost certain that this game...nah, it probably would've done well even without the licensed music.


Obviously there are other great uses of licensed tracks in video games that I've either neglected or simply didn't think were all that (yes, I'm aware of The Rolling Stones in Call Of Duty and yes, I've watched the introduction to Prey with "(Don't Fear) The Reaper"). If there are any music moments in games that you recommend and think I should check out, feel free to let me know in the comments or via Twitter.

Showdown: Southbound - The Doobie Brothers

I recently wrote a Showdown post looking at a 2009 album of rerecords and a few new songs by Spinal Tap. I enjoyed comparing the classics with the new material so figured I'd do it again with another collection of rerecords, although this time dealing with hits by Classic Rock group The Doobie Brothers. However, unlike the Spinal Tap post, these rerecords are of tracks from different albums across the band's career as opposed to just one.
The rerecords in question are all from Southbound, a 2014 compilation featuring a variety of guest musicians from Rock and Country backgrounds.

So here's how this works, for anyone unfamiliar with Showdown posts from the past. I go through the tracklist of Southbound, first writing about the original Doobie Brothers song before comparing it with the rerecording, ultimately offering my verdict on which track is "best". At the end, I'll tally up the scores and see whether I prefer the original songs or Southbound on average. It's as simple as that!
Below is a Spotify playlist containing all the originals and rerecordings. Normally, I'd embed the playlist at the bottom of the post but I feel like it's better placed here, since the only thing that can be spoiled here is the overall outcome of my verdicts (found at the bottom of this post), not the songs I've chosen to write about. Anyway, let's get listening!



ROUND ONE: Black Water
Original - Ahhh, what a great song to start with. I love "Black Water" and would call it my favourite Doobie Brothers track. Great mystical introduction, awesome acoustic guitar riff and when those drums come in? Damn, they sound great. I've heard rerecordings and covers of this song in the past where they fuck the drums up by going for power instead of quality; thankfully, the original still exists and makes for an underrated tune by the Doobs.
Rerecording - OK, introduction aside, this is a damn fine rerecording. The mystical sound is still there but the percussion sounds like it belongs in an R&B track, not this. Luckily, guest musicians Zac Brown Band prevent the song from nosediving and add some great slide guitar accompaniments, not to mention some damn fine vocals (I assume). It feels more like a Rock song than the original, something that some listeners will prefer and others won't.
VERDICT - To be honest, I was always gonna give the win to the Original purely because, as I said, it is my all-time favourite Doobie Brothers song. However, this is a damn fine cover. The introduction might be weak but they improved the "hear some funky Dixieland" section and truly made the song come alive with Southern flair in the outro. If you like "Black Water", I whole heartedly recommend seeking out the rerecording.

ROUND TWO: Listen To The Music
Original - I used to find this song a little generic...but then I played it on Rock Band and noticed all the great guitar melodies buried underneath the vocals. There's also a decent little solo at the end that reminds me of The Allman Brothers Band, although nowhere near as awesome to play/listen to. Much like "Black Water" and the lion's share of Doobie Brothers hits, it's a great Summer song that's perfect for driving down country lanes with the top down and the sun beaming down.
Rerecording - Not entirely sure how I feel about that intro. Reminds me a little of "Once In A Lifetime" - Talking Heads but once the acoustic guitar riff comes in, things start to sound a little more Doobie. Joining the band this time are Country musicians Blake Shelton and Hunter Hayes on guitar and vocals, presumably contributing to the more commercial sound the song has this time. It's a decent rerecord with some nice instrumentation and far superior production values.
VERDICT - I like both versions but I think I'm gonna give the win to the Rerecording. All the aspects of the song that work are either present or improved, from the vocal harmonies in the chorus to the extended guitar solo in the outro. Thumbs Up! Wait, that's the wrong post format.

ROUND THREE: What A Fool Believes
Original - Meh, I've never really cared for this song (even if it was co-written by Kenny Loggins). The piano and synth combo sounds like something from a show for toddlers and the vocals in the chorus from Michael McDonald are also a little off-putting. It's too close to Yacht Rock for me to enjoy it as much as other Doobie Brothers hits but this Captain & Tennille knockoff works as generic background Pop, I suppose.
Rerecording - Ugh, the piano introduction is even worse here. Luckily, guest vocalist Sara Evans makes this song work with the naturally higher pitched vocals that carry more passion than the male vocalist. His voice sounds laughable when paired with Sara's, although they could only work with the source material. This song is just utter shite, even when reworked with modern recording technology and additional instruments.
VERDICT - Both versions are terrible but I guess the crappy song recorded with better technology with a talented guest vocalist sounds better than the original. The win goes to the Rerecording.

ROUND FOUR: Long Train Runnin'
Original - I imagine this song was created after the success of "Listen To The Music" forced the band to write a similar track...or maybe I'm on my own in thinking this sounds a lot like "Listen To The Music" but either way, I'm not overly fond of this song. Don't get me wrong, I think it's OK but I would never choose to listen to it if given a choice of Classic Rock songs. Maybe it's the harmonica solo or maybe it's the choice of minor key the song's written in but yeah, not a highlight of the band's career in my eyes.
Rerecording - Another song with two guest musicians, although I actually know these guys! Toby Keith and Huey Lewis! Not only do they bring some great vocals to the song but Huey's harmonica solo is a bit more complex than the original, even if when all's said and done it's still a harmonica solo and therefore pointless. However, the biggest improvement is the change in key. Tuning it down makes it sounds much better.
VERDICT - Isn't it obvious? Rerecording wins it again.

ROUND FIVE: China Grove
Original - Whilst this song is still Summer-y, it definitely feels more like a Rock song than some of their acoustic-driven tracks. The guitar riff is the song's greatest strength although the piano sounds neat in the background too. Vocals are serviceable and the guitar solo's pretty sweet for a Doobie Brothers song, although the lyrics are a little flawed. Whilst the idea of a sheriff with a samurai sword may have tickled the band when they wrote it, they neglected to consider that samurais are Japanese, not Chinese. Way to go Doobs, you just outed yourselves as horrible racists and now have 24 hours to apologise on Twitter or face pain of death.
Rerecording - OK, I went into this round thinking "I like "China Grove", the original will totally win it"...but after listening to this cover, I'm not so sure. The delay on the iconic riff in the introduction followed by the punchier, stadium percussion really amplifies the Rock elements of this song for the better. I'm not sure exactly how much guest musician Chris Young added to the track, as his voice doesn't stand out as much as previous vocalists, but I'm still impressed over how awesome the band managed to make this classic of theirs.
VERDICT - God, it's tricky. If I could give it to both, I definitely would...well, I mean, I could give it to both since it's my blog and therefore my rules. But then I've created rules about awarding the point to both and I don't think I've done it before so I shouldn't really start here...although I guess there's nothing wrong with awarding the point to both, or neither. Where was I going with this? Oh fuck it, the Rerecording gets it again. It's as good if not ever so slightly better than the original.

ROUND SIX: Takin' It To The Streets
Original - I think the main reason I've never given this song enough attention is because it sounds like Yacht Rock from the start. Thankfully, things start to pick up a bit just before the chorus with the bit that uses a similar descending chord sequence to "10538 Overture" - ELO (I'm sure all of you will know exactly what I'm referring to with that comparison). Even if it does sound like the theme for an 80s sitcom of the same name, I still like this song. It's lively and has a decent if not slightly forgettable saxophone solo.
Rerecording - Of all the rerecordings I've heard so far, this one is probably the closest to the original. There are a couple of small differences here and there, mostly in the vocal department thanks to guest artist Love And Theft, but the piano intro is spot on and the guitars are still appropriately used...until the solo comes in. Turns out a guitar solo actually helps this song more than a saxophone solo, although there's no prizes for predicting that. It's a shame the outro doesn't have the organ from the original, although the bridge they added kinda works so it's not all bad.
VERDICT - You know what I'm gonna say. The Rerecording wins another round! If it's not apparent yet, I definitely recommend Southbound.

ROUND SEVEN: Jesus Is Just Alright (With Me)
Original - Lyrics aside, this song's pretty good. It comes from Toulouse Street, a brilliant album with many classics and great deep cuts, and even if the chorus comes across as a little tacky, the guitar riff used near the start and after the FIRST awesome guitar solo is straight out of a Blue Oyster Cult song. Combine that with the rest of the music and you end up with something like Santana only without the air of pretentiousness. I recommend listening to this song if you like Classic Rock with a Latin flair; worst thing that happens is you dislike the song but get a laugh at the line "Jesus is my friend" in the middle eight.
Rerecording - Normally, I'd appreciate the transformation of any song into a fully-fledged Rock track but I'm not entirely sure it works here. This might be because I've heard a lot of Southern Rock rerecordings so far and turning a song that stands apart from the Doobie Brothers' back catalogue into something relatively generic by the album's standards isn't the best decision they could've made. It's a solid rerecording, though. Guest musician Casey James gives the vocals some extra weight and the change in key gives the song a Bachman-Turner Overdrive quality, which I will always be happy about.
VERDICT - Despite the fact that the rerecording was a good listen, I'm giving the win to the Original this time. The guitar solos in the original are more significant to me and as I said, the musical variety from the band that actually works really well should be rewarded over playing it safe.

ROUND EIGHT: Rockin' Down The Highway
Original - Another great Classic Rock song by the Doobs. Great riff, fantastic chorus, fun little solo and all-in-all, a top notch track to enjoy. I would argue that this song is probably better than "China Grove" if you're after good old fashioned Rock, although "China Grove" does have a damn fine riff and solo. However, that doesn't change the fact that I really like this song and would definitely put it up there among my favourites by the band. Oh, and you know what album it's from? Toulouse Street. Totally an underrated album.
Rerecording - Oh man, this rerecording? This rerecording right here? I fucking love it. Not surprising when the guest musician is Brad Paisley, an excellent Country guitarist with his own unique sound and style. I love how the change in key and added backing vocals in the chorus make it sound like a Styx song (yeah, I meant that as a positive; deal with it), giving it that extra burst of energy. The only downside is the guitar solo; it's not bad but it's definitely not one of Brad Paisley's best. He lets loose towards the end but it kind of blends into the rest of the music rather than standing out.
VERDICT - As much as I love the rerecording, I'm giving the win to the Original. Again, comparing the talents of the band at the time of the original recording and rerecording, I feel like The Doobie Brothers gave more. They turned up the guitars and gave us some top notch Classic Rock whereas the rerecording has a partially phoned in solo. All in all though, I do really like both versions a lot.

ROUND NINE: Take Me In Your Arms (Rock Me A Little While)
Original - Another fun Classic Rock tune! The increase in production values in comparison to their earlier material really makes this song come alive, as there's no way this track would work the same without the backing vocals, brass and strings. But hey, let's look at the song from a creative perspective; the chorus is perfect, the guitar solo rocks and if your foot isn't tapping by the end, you're probably in a wheelchair...or just not into this kind of music, definitely one of the two.
Rerecording - Even if the gospel backing vocals are the only holdover from the original that isn't part of the standard band, this rerecording is still pretty good! I think the lion's share of this song's high quality comes from the addition of chords in the chorus alongside the vocal melody, as I fucking love that change. I'm assuming that change came with guest musician Tyler Farr but either way, I'm glad they did it. Meanwhile, the rest of the song is good although not quite as joyous as the original.
VERDICT - The rerecording definitely has more of a Country vibe to it, which will probably make it better to those who prefer that kind of Southern music. However, I'm giving the win to the Original for reasons stated above. Looks like the Doobs from the 70s are making their comeback!

ROUND TEN: South City Midnight Lady
Original - Back to the softer acoustic based Rock songs now. The music is soft and the melodies are perfect for relaxing in your back garden during the Summer, just how the Doobs should be enjoyed. It's not the kind of song that I'd get into but it's a nice little tune with some strong vocals and a great little outro. I suppose it's good that they chose a slower, more sensitive song to appear on the album to show off their versatility and to mix things up a little.
Rerecording - Another faithful rerecording enhanced with modern recording technology and guest musicians, this time Jerrod Niemann. Since I'm not a big fan of the song in general, it's not the kind of track I take pleasure in when it comes to seeking out all the little touches that make it enjoyable. That being said, it's a song that already had Southern Rock/Country elements so a cover on this album is either redundant or necessary depending on your taste in music. For me, it's redundant.
VERDICT - Yeah, the Original wins by a hair. I don't like either version that well but the rerecording doesn't add anything that makes it worth listening to, in my opinion.

ROUND ELEVEN: You Belong To Me
Original - More Yacht Rock, presumably stuck at the end because it's fucking Yacht Rock. I'm not entirely sure what The Doobie Brothers were thinking when they wrote this song; it sounds like it was put together in a couple of hours with Michael McDonald using it as an excuse to wail over the top of a few repeated keyboard chords. It's very easy to listen to this song without actually listening to it, if that makes sense.
Rerecording - Straight away, we have slightly heavier percussion and slower tempo before guest vocalist Amanda Sudano-Ramirez comes in...and Vince Gill helps. Unfortunately, the backing vocals in this song are still annoying (ARE STILL ANNO-HOY-II-ING) and the limp nature of the song hasn't been beefed up in the rerecording, once again making it a weaker choice than some of the previous tracks. But hey, I guess The Doobie Brothers only have so many hits and they're not gonne rerecord deep cuts.
VERDICT - Even though I hate both versions, I'm giving the win to the Rerecording because Amanda's voice works well and the fact that it's now an actual duet might make fans of generic Yacht Rock more inclined to listen to it.

ROUND TWELVE: Nobody
Original - One of the first Doobie Brothers songs and another one that I like quite a lot. It's got a Wild West vibe to it and acts as a neat little introduction to the band that would go on to write songs like "China Grove" and "Rockin' Down The Highway", as there's an electric guitar solo at one point. It's hardly a bold entrance onto the music scene but it's clearly a song that the Doobs are fond of, as Southbound isn't the only time they've rerecorded this track. They had another stab at it in 2010 for the World Gone Crazy album. It was good there too!
Rerecording - The last song on the album and even though the introduction (listed as a separate track for some reason) sets the bar high with a slightly slower, Bluesier feel, the actual song is a weaker version of both the 2010 rerecording and 1971 original. The final guest musician, Charlie Worsham, does what the majority of guest acts have done (very little of significance) but the guitar solo sounds good, if you're a fan of the original. All in all, it would've been neat to have that slower version to contrast with the 2010 version, even though the slower introduction is borrowed straight from the 2010 rerecording, but I suppose it wouldn't have been very Country now, would it.
VERDICT - If I was deciding between the original and the World Gone Crazy version, this might have been a tricky decision. However, as things are, the win goes to the Original and I highly advise you listen to that song instead of this disappointing end to Southbound.

FINAL SCORES:
Originals - 6
Rerecordings - 6

I guess some of the Original wins were a little generous but in a surprise outcome, it's a direct tie. Seriously, when I started this post, I was certain that the Rerecordings would win this with a landslide majority but here we are. In all seriousness though, whilst a lot of the originals are great, I cannot understate how fucking good Southbound is until the last three songs. I would rate it 8 or 9 out of 10 if it were a Shout Out post or flat out review but since it's a Showdown, I'm just gonna recommend it to you on the condition that you stop listening once you finish "Take Me In Your Arms (Rock Me A Little While)".

Here Is The News!

Another month where I let the backlog of posts I need to write get too high but hey, at least I'm kicking this month off with a brand new post format: Here Is The News (working title)!
I tend to write about Rock/Metal albums, songs and soundtracks with a few opinion posts splashed about here and there but I rarely cover real world events happening in the world of Rock/Metal (e.g. new album releases, tours, deaths, etc). That's where these posts come in...sort of.
You see, I could tell you about real world events in the world of music but chances are, you would be able to find this information out at any decent music site with far more informative details and links to quotes/sources/fancy images. So here's where the differences start: each section of these posts will be spoof articles based around real world events. The main aim of this is to have a laugh at the events happening in the world of Rock/Metal whilst also informing you about certain genuine stories that you may or may not already know. Whether it works or not will be for time to tell but I'm excited about giving it a go, seeing as how it's more creative than just covering stuff that people have already written about with no personal inflection.
Anyway, time for the first broadcast!

AXL'S HOT NEW RELEASE

After what feels like many long, long decades of anticipation, the original lineup of Guns N' Roses have made an exciting announcement that has shocked the entire Rock community. Axl Rose, lead vocalist of the 80s and briefly 90s Hard Rock outfit, has finally given birth to the gigantic turd he's been holding since 1986.

This announcement came shortly after the band made the page just before the sports section with their cryptic tease of various billboards reading "Destruction Is Coming", presumably designed to trick people into thinking an original lineup album or tour would be announced (pictured left). Instead, the band announced a reissue of their debut, Appetite For Destruction, an album that's been readily available at literally every record store and digital streaming site for the last 31 years. However, there are also new demos of a handful of unreleased tracks that were left off the original album for a reason.

Two weeks after the official announcement was made, Axl was rushed into hospital to finally push out the faecal log growing inside him. After several days slaving away squatting over an industrial sized toilet, Axl finally made the push that fans have been anticipating ever since they realised the build-up of shit inside him was affecting his performance as a vocalist. One hardcore fan, who wishes to remain anonymous, was quoted as saying "I'm glad he finally got it out of him. I was first worried about his health when I heard him vocally straining during "Knockin' On Heaven's Door". The man clearly had something causing intestinal pressure up inside him so I'm relieved he finally sorted it out, although probably not as relieved as him...or his bandmates". A female fan under the age of 18 wearing a classic Appetite For Destruction T-shirt was also quoted as saying "Who's Axl?".

Now that Axl has finally given birth to the behemoth turd inside his belly, it's expected that Axl can finally start behaving like a functioning person instead of a troubled diva. No longer will Axl force fans to wait hours for him to reach the stage due to labour pains and false alarms. No longer will band and crew members have to endure the stench of Axl's chud emerging whenever he bends over or opens his mouth. No longer will Axl's stylist have to stealthily replace his wardrobe with plus sized clothing to accommodate his growing frame and avoid hurting his feelings.

Thankfully, those days are behind us and Axl Rose can start showing us what he's truly capable of; hundreds of people cannot wait.

DAVE GROHL DOES IT AGAIN

Foo Fighters frontman Dave Grohl once again proved how likeable and fun he is by not only judging a BBQ contest in Memphis, Tennessee, but also rescuing a family of kittens from a burning building.

Dave Grohl (pictured left) has always come across as a genuine, warm, funny and talented person but it wasn't until this particular act of kindness that people believed this about him even more. It all started when Dave was chatting with fans about his favourite types of chips; that's when he heard the screaming. A nearby hospital had erupted into flames due to an unforeseen incident with an oxygen tank and a misplaced defibrillator, placing thousands of lives at risk. It was at that moment that Dave Grohl put down his beer and leapt into action.

Onlookers claim that Dave vaulted over various parked cars before smashing through one of the windows on the ground floor and making his way up to the blaze. Whilst it's unknown exactly what Dave did inside the building, he soon emerged carrying not only several patients but also a basket full of kittens that had presumably been brought to the hospital for positive reasons. Once he took the kittens and smoke-damaged patients to safety, Dave rushed back in and continued to do his best to fight the fire. It's reported that even after the firefighters and trained professionals arrived, Dave insisted on being at the front of the operation even though he happened to be wearing highly flammable clothing at the time and was currently going through back problems that day.

One of the firefighters who let Dave take control and do their job for them would later state "it's not something that we'd ordinarily do but Dave really wanted to be in charge and, I mean, come on. It's Dave Grohl; I'm not gonna say no to him, even if he isn't the right man for the job and probably would've been better suited at the back with everyone who needed water and funny anecdotes about the guys from Metallica". When asked to comment on the incident, members of the band Foo Fighters released the following statement: "We think Dave Grohl did an awesome thing and have no doubt in our minds that he is the greatest Rock frontman in recent history. We wrote this ourselves".

After the fire had been put out, Dave Grohl returned to the party to continue having fun for the rest of the day, offering no comment on the incident because he's a nice guy. The Foo Fighters are touring this year where they're expected to play a mix of classics and new songs off their latest LP, Concrete And Gold. At the time of writing this article, the album is still godawful.

NU-METAL ARRESTED

The entire genre Nu-Metal has caused quite the scene after being arrested for committing criminal acts including GBH, loitering and animal cruelty.

The 25-year old style of music was heard blaring out of a car as they drove past a playground, causing serious damage to the cochlea of anyone who had the misfortune of being within earshot of "Bodies" - Drowning Pool and "Nookie" - Limp Bizkit (pictured left). If things weren't already bad enough, the car had to come to a stop at nearby traffic lights, meaning the exposure to this hazardous content lasted for over 30 seconds. A mother at the playground claimed "it was the most horrendous thing I've ever heard. Whoever thought Rap and Rock should mix should take a long, hard look at themselves". Rick Rubin has been unavailable for comment.

Another parent had to take their child to a nearby hospital to have their ears syringed, although unfortunately the hospital was on fire at the time so the child could not purge their head of the thudding noise. When asked about the incident, the parent said "Why does the genre think it can get away with this kind of behaviour? This might have been acceptable in the mid-2000s when it was still in its teenage years but the time has come for Nu-Metal to stop this reckless attitude and mature into either Hip Hop or Heavy Metal".

The genre was last heard as the car pulled up outside the driver's address, just opposite a gathering of pigeons who would become so damaged by the sound of the generic riffs and terrible lyrics that their brains partially shut down, rendering them even dumber than before. These brain damaged pigeons (pictured right) were last seen wearing camo-trousers and getting face tattoos. Animal welfare agents did their best to aid the creatures, one of which later stating "this is the most emotionally devastating case I've dealt with since swine flu and even then, I didn't have to relive the embarrassment that was music in the late 90s".

Nu-Metal was arrested and charged in the early hours of the morning after it was found broadcasting on Kerrang during a three hour celebration of edgy music videos involving bands playing in empty warehouses. It's expected that Nu-Metal will be put away for a long time although exactly how long is unknown. However, if the cases of The People vs. Hair Metal or Hard Rock vs. Grunge are anything to go by, Nu-Metal will never see the light of day again.


That's the end of the news for this month! I'll be back with another broadcast in June but first, I've got about three other posts for May to catch up on.